THEGAYUK

Tag: Issue 3

  • INTERVIEW | Belinda Carlisle

    Heaven is a place on Earth especially when we had the the chance to speak with the delightful Belinda Carlisle about life in France, Putin’s hidden sexuality and how to deal with a gay son. Oh and if you miss her tour she’ll come and spank you!

    You’re living between two places now France and India?

    I was in India off and on for three years and in the past couple of years I’ve been between France and LA.

    You must have a lot of air miles?

    Oh my God I do. and I use them too!

    What’s your most extravagant spend on air miles when did you go on them?

    Well you can off course go first class, but my most extravagant flight without air miles was first class Emirates, which was the most amazing experience. They had a huge bathroom with a shower and I just had to go take a shower and wash my hair and blow dry it, so I could say that I’ve blow dried my hair on the flight. It was pretty luxurious and it just kicked butt on everybody.

    Have you ever bagged a free upgrade?

    No, I haven’t because I’m too embarrassed to do that. Sometimes because I’ve been a gold BA member for sometime they’ll recognise me and say ‘oh we have an extra seat up here come with us Miss Carlisle’, but I never really do because I feel kinda funny doing stuff like that.

    Have you a message for Putin and the president of Uganda? (Yoweri Museveni)

    I would say compassion, empathy. There’s so much hatred and fear in the world. Putin is f**king scary, they’re both f**king scary and obviously living on a different planet. I don’t know if Putin’s fearful or he’s just a complete megalomaniac. You know most people who have issues with gay people are fearful.

    Fearful of what?

    Fearful of their own sexuality. I don’t understand why it’s an issue. That’s my take on it, that they just can’t deal with their own feelings towards their own sexuality, so they have to act the complete opposite way which is with a complete lack of humanity.

    Were you worried for your son when he told you he was gay?

    Well we were driving and he said ‘I like boys’ and I had to pull over in order to stop because even though I always had a suspicion that he probably was gay, when you hear from your child’s mouth, no matter how gay friendly you are, it’s a shock. For me the first thing that came to mind was what kind of world was he gonna have to live in? It is getting better but there’s still long ways to go.

    What’s the best way for a mother to deal or process that information?

    After I thought about what kinda world he was gonna live in, I then thought what am I gonna tell my husband. Because, even though he’s gay friendly, for a lot of men their son is a reflection of their masculinity. There’s a few friends that I told and I needed to process it myself and it took me a while actually because I went through all of the cliché thoughts that I think probably a lot of parents who have gay children go through. I thought was it something I did was it something I said all that kind of stuff which it’s not and I knew it’s not but I had to process that and I actually went to my therapist just to put my mind at ease and also to figure out how to tell my husband.

    Was James very good at giving you plenty of time to come to terms with his sexuality?

    What he did, which I was really annoyed about, is that I said ‘Ok, well let’s keep this between you and I until I tell your Dad,’ because I didn’t want everybody knowing and not his Dad. Of course my son went to his school the next day and at the big student council meeting, they have in front of the whole school, he said ‘I AM GAY’. I heard about it and I was like oh my God can’t you just wait? I decided to tell my husband instead of having my son tell him in case there was any kind of bad reaction, I didn’t think there would be, but just in case, and then I just let them two deal with it. They would come to me as the go between and I was like na-ah I can’t do this anymore you two have to figure it out. Actually they went back and forth for about a year before my husband finally accepted it wasn’t just a phase. Now he or myself can’t imagine it any other way. My husband went to West Hollywood and bought him a rainbow bracelet and so he’s like right in there and is very, very proud of our son.

    You must have had some outrageous moments especially in the 80s and 90s in your career, can you tell us a story?

    Ah, not off the top of my head. It was was all one big outrageous moment blurred into another outrageous moment but I don’t have them any more so much. I mean I have them in different ways, but the Go-Go’s… we were in our early 20s, we were famous, we were rich, we had no responsibilities, we weren’t married, so we went wild, as we should, and we took advantage of the circumstances.

     

    Are these exciting times to live in compared with the 80s?

    I think probably it was better then because first of all we couldn’t get away with now what we could back then. There’s just no way, there’s too many cameras around. There’s still lots of drugs now I’m sure but back then it was a bit more innocent and I thought I was invincible and most youth probably think they’re invisible so I can’t imagine having as much fun now as we did back then. The world’s a lot more dangerous now then it was back then.

    When you look at the tragic death of Whitney, does it make you angry?

    The thing that makes me angry about drug deaths, like Philip Seymour Hoffman and Whitney, is that people make assumptions about addicts or alcoholics. There’s not a lot of understanding. The press sort of cheapens it in a way. We didn’t need to know there were 70 bags of heroin around Philip Seymour Hoffman’s body. We didn’t need to know about Whitney Houston drowning in the bath tub having a heart attack on coke. Unless you’ve really gone through an addiction with a family member or yourself, people don’t really have that much understanding about it. When I grew up we had to watch this stupid drug movies in school and all that made me want to do is go out and do drugs. We all know that they’re bad and they’re always going to be around. I think to legalise, regulate and tax them and put money into education and take away the stigma. I think the public needs to understand the nature of addiction more than addicts themselves as they’re living it.

    Who would make up the ultimate Girl/woman band now? Cher, Dolly?

    Oh god, those are both amazing choices. I love Cher. I love Dolly. Who else, Liza, and Ann Margret. I think that’s enough females. Believe me I know it’s hard working with too many females.

    You’re now a Vegetarian and Buddhist?

    I’m a vegetarian and I’m a practicing Nichiren buddhist. I chant every day.

    Is this a recent thing?

    No I’ve been chanting probably for about 12 years and vegetarian for years and years and then I fell off the wagon but then got back on the wagon about a year and a half ago. I just couldn’t support factory farming anymore it was just wrong, really wrong.

    Do you have a non vegetarian food now you still go back to?

    No. The one thing I was worried about missing, especially in France, was rotisserie chicken because it’s so f**king good and I don’t miss it at all. It took me a while because I was loving meat, living in France there are vegetarians but people are pretty much meat eaters and I was struggling with going back to vegetarianism, so I’d have vegetarian days and then I’d have meat days but after a while it was just too gross and I felt it was wrong for me to do it. Factory farming, it’s not good for the planet, it’s not good for your body it’s eating a living thing’s consciousness. none of it’s good at all.

    You look incredible still… what’s the secret?

    Well I haven’t had plastic surgery, I haven’t had Botox, but I’m not opposed to one day cutting. I have cheek bones from my father who’s an American Indian and I have really good skin from him too. But besides that I do a lot of breathing exercises everyday and I think it’s really getting a lot of oxygen. And I don’t drink or smoke, I do lots of cardio, hiking and yoga and that’s probably pretty much it. But my Mum looks great and she’s 75 and she hasn’t had any work done. I think there’s a good gene pool.

    Complete these sentences:

    I’m never happier than when I’m….

    In yoga class.

    If I see a girl with her knickers tucked in her skirt I…

    Tell her.

    Life’s most valuable lesson is…

    Don’t do drugs.

    Heaven On Earth is….

    The Pacific Ocean

    People should come see me on tour because if they don’t…

    I’ll spank them.

    Readers Question.

    Which has been your favourite Pride event to perform at and why?

    Oh gosh, I love doing the LA Pride that was really a lot of fun -probably because it’s my home town but I used to love doing G-A-Y.

    Can club remixes for “Sun” be released?

    Oh I think that would be amazing if there was a club mix on Sun. It lends itself for that for sure.

    You’re a bit of a twitterer, aren’t you…. Is there one person you were genuinely excited was following you?

    William Dalrymple. He’s one of my favourite authors and he writes all these amazing books on India and Afghanistan and amazing non fiction. I followed him on twitter and said ‘what I would give to meet my favourite author at William Dalrymple’. He tweeted me back saying ‘Oh it’s mutual admiration I’ve been a fan since the Go-Go’s.’ He follows me and sometimes we tweet back and forth and I’m flattered because I think he’s an amazing, amazing writer. ∎

    The Anthology book set includes 3 cds and 2 dvds and is available from iTunes and Amazon

    You say you felt invincible back in the 80s was this a factor of why you fell into drugs?

    Oh yeah. Because I didn’t think I’d ever become an addict. I didn’t understand and most people didn’t really understand the nature of addiction, not like they do now, so I thought, ‘oh not me I can control everything’ and of course I found out otherwise.

  • INTEVIEW | Adam Rickitt

    INTEVIEW | Adam Rickitt

    ‘Putin You’re A Prick…’ Is the last tweet that Adam had posted before I picked up the phone to the “I Breathe Again” singer and former Coronation Street actor. Something tells me that he’s back and ready for a fight…

    who is Adam Rickitt
    CREDIT: ITV / The Big Reunion

    So… That tweet! Tell us your thoughts…
    I’m quite into current affairs and politics, and I think the whole thing is a complete joke. He’s like some big Panto baddie, some horrible nasty from a Disney film. He’s there trying to show his own strength to his own people and there’s no justification for it whatsoever. The guy’s a twat. For someone to come out so blatantly homophobic, but at the same time posing for the gayest photo shoot, riding on a horse, is absurd. I think it’s bad form, I really do.

    Is sexuality a big deal?
    I genuinely find it incomprehensible that in this day and age someone’s sexuality is still a definition about the person they are. You don’t say, ‘so and so is a nice person but they are black…’ It’s always amazed me, because I was raised by my Mum to be like ‘if somebody’s black and a lovely person – they’re just lovely – if somebody is black and they’re an arse – they’re an arsehole!’

    If somebody’s gay and they’re a lovely person… it was never about the colour, the creed, the sexuality or anything like that…

    So it amazed me when I was doing pop first time round, everyone was asking ‘is he gay, is he gay? Well I’m not, but I’m not going to make a big deal about it. It should be an issue.

    Did you get a lot of sexuality questioning?
    When I first started I didn’t. I was seen as a bit of a Lothario because they kept getting pictures of me with girls all the time. I kind of found all that attention a bit freaky. So I became a bit of a hermit. Because the press didn’t have anything to print about me, because I never went out, they just started making stuff up – let’s be honest, I did look like a prepubescent girl and I am slightly camp. So it wasn’t the hardest thing in the world for them to start making that up. It never bothered me. I was so lucky for the support I got from the gay community in my career, the last thing I was going to do was do a bit of a Jason Donavan and insult them by making out it was a big issue.

    So are you still Torying around?
    I’m not a career politician. They’re lots of them out there who went to university and studied politics and then did an internship with an MP and then became an MP themselves, I’ve got no desire to be a front bencher, my thing in life is that I’ve had such an amazing family and so many opportunities and I’ve always felt that if you get dealt a good hand in life, you owe it to pay it forward. I don’t have the skills to be a doctor, I don’t have the temperament to be a policeman, and so one way I thought I might be able to help would be to get involved in politics – arguing for a local community. It would have to be the right kind of community. I’m a bit of a country bumpkin, so there’d be no point in me standing for Toxteth or something. It’s meant to be a partnership – you being their voice in Westminster.

    So we won’t be seeing Adam Rickitt for PM?
    Probably not, no. Politics nowadays is not so much about having a view; it’s trying to offend the least amount of people. Nobody says anything anymore, they just all try and appeal to the masses. My point of view is that politics should be – ‘You stand up there, and say this is how I think it should be and this is how I think you should solve it. If you don’t agree with me vote for the other guy.’ I kind of always get in trouble because I always mouth off and say what I think, which doesn’t always go down very well, because you’re not meant to do that anymore in politics. I think that’s a shame. People get frustrated with politics and lose interest – because nobody ever says anything.

    Do you think that UKIP is a viable threat to UK politics?
    Here’s my theory about them: Everybody thinks they’re a bit of a joke – and they are a bit of a joke. But at least they stand for something. That’s what attracts people more than anything else. It’s basically because of the Europe situation. They are standing there and they are saying, ‘we’ve got a view on this matter – agree with us or don’t agree with us’ and that’s what’s drawing people to them. At least they’re standing for something. The problem with them is that they are literally just a one-issue party, and when you go beneath that one issue there’s a slightly uncomfortable veneer to the rest of it. They’re such a new party and if you scratch the surface of a lot of them, I’m not sure they are the best option.

    What did you make of David Silvester’s gay flood controversy?
    That’s exactly my problem. It’s such a new party that you’ve got people like that who have snuck in. The saving grace about Labour or the Conservatives is that anyone who is quite such a prat would get found out well before that.

    So you’re quite a political animal…
    I don’t know about animal… It does interest me. When I first got involved, back in the day, I was doing some ghost writing for The Spectator when Boris Johnson was editor and it was a piece about ‘Why are the youth today so apathetic about politics?’ It was after the election where the statistics showed that more young people voted in Big Brother than they did in the election and you just kind of think – that’s just really f**ked up. But it is up to the younger generation to step up to the plate, if you want to have a voice.

    So how does that fit in with The Big Reunion – cause they’re kind of worlds apart – or are they?
    Laughter – I’ve always been a bit of a freak in that way. The Big reunion for me is about having fun. It’s pure and simple about having fun. I didn’t enjoy it when I was a younger kid and I always regretted it that I didn’t enjoy it – and there’s no one to blame but myself – I was always insecure, and I wasn’t in the right place in my mind and I kinda went through it by numbers and got road rushed into it all. It’s not rocket science let’s be honest – it’s just really good fun. The advantage this time round is being in a band. When you’re a solo artist it is pretty lonely. Back in the day it was me going from Travelodge to Travelodge and it was just really boring.

    Are you still really self-conscience?
    Not really – only as much as the next person. My major paranoia first time around was that people thought I was an arrogant prick. I was so fearful that people would think that I was an arrogant prick, just because I was on TV or because I was doing a pop song, I went so far the other way. I became this really servant like, this pathetic thing. The record company would be asking ‘what do you think about this?’ I would say, ‘whatever you want, whatever you want I’ll do!’ You don’t enjoy it when you do that, because there’s so little of yourself in it. All you end up doing is living a caricature of something you think somebody else wants.

    Do you regret any of pop stuff?
    I don’t regret it, because if it hadn’t happened I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t be in the frame of mind I am now, I wouldn’t be where I am in my life now, so I don’t regret it. I was lucky enough that from the age of 18 to 32 the longest I had off between jobs was 2 weeks. I literally worked for 14 years. I had amazing opportunities, I’m not saying I enjoyed them all, but they were amazing life experiences.

    Has it been depressing or hopeful revisiting the pop world?
    It depends on your mentality. If you’re going in there to become the next Beatles I think you’re setting yourself up for a life of terrible disappointment. We haven’t done that as a group. We’ve basically said lets just enjoy it. We’re grown men getting to do something really silly and luckily we get on so well we’re having fun. Do we think we’ll be winning Ivor Novellos- probably not! The music industry has changed. First time round I found it so monotonous, Smash Hits interview after Smash Hits interview where they were asking you – ‘What’s your favourite cheese…’ It doesn’t really stimulate the brain cells. But this time around we can go off and do other things.

    When did you all meet?
    Well they approached us all individually, and we all kind of said yes, but on the proviso that we all get on together. For example I didn’t sign my contract until I met all the boys for myself. The nice thing was, if we had all met 15 years ago there would have been egos in the room, there would have been a pissing contest between all of us – whereas because we’ve all been through the mix a few times and we’ve experienced the highs and lows of it you realise what’s important, and what’s important is to enjoy it.

    Do you think that makes you better pop stars?
    I think it does because it makes you more confident. Your relationship to the audience is so much stronger. When you’re doing it first time round you’re so paranoid about where you’re going to come in the charts or whether people are going to buy your single that you’re almost begging them to. But now you don’t make money on album sales you make it in performing, so you might as well go out there and have a good time with your audience. If you enjoy it – they see it.

    Your first album deserved to do better than it did. Why do you think it didn’t?
    It was weird. Abroad it did really well. South East Asia went mental for it. Here It didn’t do so great, it did shit – let’s be fair. I think first of all I wasn’t very happy doing it and I think you can see that. You start looking like a Panto character. I also got famous for being an actor and I think a lot of people think of you as just an actor or a pop star – and because I had that slight crossover it was weird. The record company spent millions of pounds doing research in the market place – I always came up as really popular but that didn’t always translate into sales. I was seen more as an entertainer than a pop star. I’d get bookings for ridiculous amounts of money, but then it didn’t translate into album sales.

    It was a five-album deal I signed, but I knew after the first one, or even before the first single came out that I wasn’t enjoying it. I sat down with the record label and said, I know it’s a five album deal, but I can’t do five it will kill me. They were like ‘we’ve spent all this money on you can you do the first album and let us cover our costs and make a little bit of money and we’ll let you go.’

    So, the Corrie gay kiss…
    You know what – that was the thing that really disillusioned me. One of the characters was gay and the other wasn’t. The one that wasn’t was asleep – it wasn’t a tongue marathon it was a tiny peck on the lips. The fact that made the front page of The Sun or the fact it was promoted as such a shock horror thing, I was like Really? In this day and age, really? Is it such a big issue? I found it so disappointing.

    The body. Are you still as ripped?
    Yes I am for my sins. I do it all at home. I have a really bad back so from the age of 17 I had to exercise everyday otherwise my back gets really knackered. I always felt a bit of phoney, because everyone was like ‘oh my god look at his body’ and I was like, well if I don’t I’m f**ked. I still do all the sit-ups and I’ve still got my six-pack.
    (Eight!!!) A shout from in the background as Katy, Adam’s Fiancé corrects Adam!
    Eight-pack – Katy’s is shouting. My wife in about 10 months!
    It’s not about size, it’s about health.

    What is your favourite cheese?
    Goat’s cheese. ∎

  • INTERVIEW | Kian Egan

    INTERVIEW | Kian Egan

    Whether you loved them or hated them or fell somewhere in the middle, there’s no doubt that Westlife dominated the pop scene at the turn of the century. With their boyish good looks, solid harmonies and Ronan Keating acting as their manager (although I’m not sure how much managing he actually did) they were destined for success. With hit following hit the boys became a household name and its individual members became known to girls, gays and mums across the country: you’ve got the main singer, the less pretty singer, the gay singer, the pretty ex-footballer and… the other one.

    Kian Egan
    CREDIT: Ray Burmiston PR Supplied

    However, since his triumphant emergence from the jungle in I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, the other one has become known now as Kian Egan (that’s his actual name, just in case I was confusing anyone) and has released his own solo material for the first time ever. He may not have said much whilst he was in Westlife but he had the best body and he married a pop singer who was in Hollyoaks; I think it’s time we heard what he had to say.

    How are you feeling with the upcoming release of the album and the single?
    Yeah I’m feeling good, I’m excited. It’s nerve wrecking but exciting. But I’m just kinda going with the flow and hopefully it’s gonna do ok.

    Tell me about the album, what sort of sound can we expect from you?
    Well to be honest I don’t feel it’s a million miles away from what we used to do in Westlife, I feel like it’s still kind of balladry but it’s not too balladry y’know. It’s got a lot more guitar in it, a bit more of a rock beat, got a bit more of a drive in it.

    Did you have a specific direction in mind when you started putting the album together?
    Well for me it was about music that I love. I think making an album like this as a solo artist, coming out of a band like Westlife, it’s not about selling millions of records and doing the big thing all over again. I can’t imagine that’ll ever happen. So it was just about doing something that I was really passionate about, and that’s why the album sounds the way it sounds, the songs that I picked are the songs that I love, that I would personally listen to. So that’s the way I went about it and I just think it’s so important that when you’re making something on your own as an individual that it’s passion-filled. That it’s just raw passionate emotion and that’s what I’m trying to do with this album. I’ve definitely poured my heart into this album so fingers crossed that people hear that when they listen to it y’know?

    Why did you choose Daughtry’s song for your first single?
    Again it’s just that that’s the type of music that I love, that type of rock power ballad, emotional song, and all the boxes that needed to be ticked are ticked in that song. It’s not your typical slushy ballad it’s more of a kind of a drivey pushy rock ballad and that’s the type of music that I love. And for me Daughtry are the modern day ballad rock group. I think I rocked it a tiny bit it’s not as heavy as Daughtry did if you listen to Daughtry’s version compared to my version the guitars aren’t as loud and things like that. I’ve put piano on it and I’ve got strings on mine whereas theirs is a down and out rock band. I feel the rock element is there but at the same time not alienating anybody by making it too rocky.

    What was the process of recording the album?
    It all happened very quickly to be honest, I started recording in January. I got offered this record deal after doing the TV show I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, and when I won that show I came out of the jungle, came back to the UK and got offered a record deal and before I knew it I was in the studio recording an album. And now here I am about to release it so it’s been fairly manic it’s been fairly full on.

    Who’ve you had the chance to work with?
    Y’know I made the whole album with a guy called Brian Rawling who’s a very famous record producer he’s made massive amounts of albums throughout his career and sold millions and millions of records. So when his name was mentioned I knew exactly who he was. I knew the music that he’d made and I think it’s important that between the artist and producer that you can talk together, that you can express each others’ feelings. Because it is a collaboration when it comes to making an album with a producer; he understood me very well and I understood him very well and I think we got a very good balance on the album, of the sound of the album between what he likes and what I like.

    Was it hard choosing songs for the album?
    We kind of just did it song by song, we weren’t sitting there saying we’ve got our song list let’s go. It was like we definitely want to record this song so let’s record it and see how it turns out. We recorded quite a few songs that didn’t end up on the album, some songs that just didn’t turn out as strong as the others. They didn’t necessarily fit the sound of the whole album so things like that were starting to happen here and there. This is the type of album that I wanna make and this song doesn’t necessarily fit this sound and that was kind of how it worked. We just did it song by song, I definitely wanted to record this one, then definitely wanted to record that one, so I went into the studio and recorded them all, so y’know we put them together and then all of a sudden we had ten songs and an album that we thought was the right album.

    Have you chosen the singles you want to release?
    I’m gonna play it by ear I think is the best thing to do, this is the first single and y’know after that we’re just gonna have to see what the reactions like to the album and see what everybody likes. So it’s a bit early to be jumping on that bandwagon so we’re just gonna wait and see.

    Are you nervous about being by yourself for this album?
    Well y’know it’s definitely nerve wrecking having done it the other way with four other people but at the same time there’s a lot less pressure for me personally. I think in my life I never expected this opportunity to come my way, so for me I was kind of like yeah, that’ll never happen, so when the offer came in I was like wow. It’s not about selling millions of albums like I said, it’s more about the opportunity to do it and I’ve got to do it. That’s what’s special to me, being able to do it on your own and not necessarily y’know, coming away from such a huge machine that was Westlife. It can be quite weird, but I’m just really enjoying it and just kind of like taking every day as it comes.

    Kian Egan
    CREDIT: Ray Burmiston PR Supplied

    What are you looking forward to doing differently now that it’s just you?
    When it comes to the music and it comes to the videos it’s not that I would do anything differently it’s just it’s all my ideas rather than four people’s blend of ideas y’know? So from that perspective I’m kind of like y’know what I wanna have is the guitar around my neck in the video and I wanna be rocking out with my band, I want to feel like the front man of a rock band rather than just me out there on my own. I want it to have that feel and that’s what I really like about it because it is that feel to me so I suppose that’s one thing that I’m definitely doing different. But I don’t think it’s too different y’know, I don’t think it’s dramatically different. The video is as bright and shiny as the videos that I did in Westlife but just a bit more raw, just a bit more me I suppose.

    What’s been the reaction you’ve received from your fans, especially the gay fans?
    Y’know I’ve had a lovely reaction to be honest I’ve had loads of lovely support from everybody in the gay community but I don’t see it as any different to anything else. They’re just people that are being really nice to me about what I’m doing and that supported me this far whether it be Westlife or coming out of the jungle or doing this solo project y’know? I’ve just had fantastic support from everybody. I don’t really pay attention to whether they’re gay or straight but y’know I’d love to get into G-A-Y and play there at some point.

    Have you been in touch with the other guys to get advice about launching a solo career?
    No. There’s nothing like that with the boys, we’re all just doing our own thing as individuals, I think if we were all to sit around and give each other advice then we might as well be back in a band together. I mean that’s the whole point, we’re all leaving each other to our own devices. We all sing differently and think differently and that’s what makes the world go round in general doesn’t it? From that perspective I think it’s best that we just let each other do things our own way.

    Do you have time for normal things? Do you get to go for a coffee or go to the gym?
    The gym hasn’t kicked my ass in a very long time, I lost loads of weight in the jungle came out f***ing skinnier than I’ve ever looked in my life which was fabulous but now I’m back to where I was before I reckon. It’s kind of like all gone downhill. But once the summer kicks in I’ll start getting back into it, start getting back into shape, getting to the gym a bit. To be honest right now any time I have off I just wanna get home and chill out with my wife and my little boy.

    Well if you wanna get back into G-A-Y you’re gonna have to get back into the gym that’s all I’m saying.
    I know I know.

    So how are things going on The Voice, have you come across anyone yet that

    Y’know this is year three of The Voice for me, this is the third season that we’ve done in Ireland. To be honest with ya it’s a bit early to call it yet at this time of year. I mean yeah I’ve met lots of people throughout the years but I don’t think we’ve met that superstar yet. It could be that they’ve not stood out enough yet because we haven’t seen them enough, but right now I don’t think we’ve found the superstar that we’re all looking for.

    This interview was taken from Issue 3

  • May 2014

    May 2014

    Issue 3 Marriage special TheGayUK

    Inside Issue 3

    Exclusive Gay Marriage Special Shoot, Adam Rickitt, Kavana, Dr Christian, Martha Wash, Lesley Joseph, Belinda Carlisle and much more… PLUS: How we won same sex marriage by Peter Tatchell, Fall in love with Croatia, news, reviews, lifestyle and advice. They say good things come in three’s and with Gay Marriage being passed this is one very special 3rd issue. Enjoy.

  • Is sex the glue to a relationship?

    The usual scenario for guys connecting up is eye contact across a crowded room, or in a sauna or a street and so on. A quick glance up and down and phoarr I want more of that (sometimes the eyes don’t get past a certain bulge!).

    What we see is usually the first thing that attracts us to a potential mate. Granted there are occasions when there is no immediate physical attraction and the embryo relationship starts with the enjoyment of the person’s company and conversation. But these are few and far between so will not be considered for this article.

    You move to pounce. The old chat-up lines seem to work and you get on great. In the end, whether it takes that night (or in a sauna those 5 minutes) or a week, you end up in bed. Sometimes the sex is fine sometimes it’s great. But what has really happened is your cauldron of hormones has started bubbling and you begin to be drawn in to forming a relationship with this ‘god’. Hopefully, he feels the same too.

    Gay relationships are really not much different from straight ones. Physical attraction brings two people together. Perhaps the bedding stage may be slower with heterosexuals. Women tend to want to get to know the guy but the end result is the same. Some relationship scientists believe there are three stages in relationship development – lust, attraction and attachment. All stages involve hormones.

    The first stage – the ‘I’ve got to have him’ stage is driven mainly by testosterone. As the attraction develops and we become attracted to each other, the second stage, testosterone continues to drive things along but the hormones dopamine, serotonin and adrenaline become important. This is the period when we feel we’re ‘in love’. It’s the romantic period when the other person is in our minds most of the time. We just know they are the one.

    Dopamine focuses on the neurotransmitters and is not very different to some addictive drugs such as heroin because of the feel-good high it gives, the extra energy and a reduced need for sleep. Adrenaline increases heart beat which is why we feel more excited when we see or think of our loved one. And the increase in serotonin makes us feel a bit mad and contributes to our feelings of well-being and happiness.

    The third stage, attachment, sees another two hormones surface – oxytocin and vasopressin. This stage is vital if the relationship is to survive. But because of the addictive nature of the second stage, especially the production of dopamine, a lot of relationships don’t get this far. There is more contentment but less excitement. There is more intimacy but less explosions.

    Oxytocin is called the cuddling hormone. As human we tend to seek out touch from others. When we cuddle or just even touch the brain releases oxytocin which makes us feel calmer and helps us bond with that person. Have you ever had a bad day and found that cuddling your lover makes you forget everything? That’s oxytocin at work.

    So is sex the glue to a successful relationship? The answer is yes and no. If by relationship you mean an exciting six months of sex fuelled coupling then yes. But the effects don’t last and to have a successful, long term relationship you need to move into the attachment stage. However, because of the availability of fresh partners and the stimulating stage of first meets a lot of relationship, gay and straight, don’t last long.

    It takes work to move to the next stage and both partners need to want the slightly less exciting, but usually more fulfilling, longer term relationship. After the first six months or so, despite what is generally believed, the amount of sex declines. But something else grows and it is shared interests, mutual respect and trust, the quiet physical intimacy and emotional support that makes this next stage of a relationship so satisfying. This is the glue to long-term relationships.

    This article was taken from Issue 3 of TheGayUK

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • INTERVIEW | Kavana

    INTERVIEW | Kavana

    From the all-new Manband off ITV’s The Big Reunion, we get an exclusive chat with Kavana, before the show’s finale. On a crackly line, somewhere in an alleyway off Regent Street – a wind-swept 90’s heartthrob talks about Donatella Versace, Coming Out 2014 style, self-sabotage drinking and how he sometimes wants to smack Andi Peter’s in the mouth.

    How does it feel to be back?
    It’s very surreal, I’m absolutely enjoying it this time round, it’s crazy, it’s very very surreal. Obviously I’ve had a bit of a rollercoaster journey on the show, but I’m just blown over, surprisingly by the public support that I’ve had. – Especially as things are edited in a certain way, and you can be put up in a certain light.
    It’s a TV show, that’s what you sign up for. It’s kind of a bit of a soap opera. I did what I did – they can’t put in what didn’t happen. So it’s been crazy watching it back.

    What’s it like watching yourself on TV after all this time?
    Sometimes it’s fine, sometimes I’m hiding behind the sofa. Sometimes I don’t watch it because I know what’s coming up.

    Did you know that the producers of the show, would heavily feature on the drinking episode, ensuing drama and aftermath?
    You know what, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into and I think part of me, I would say, did it on purpose; but the self-sabotage comes out. I think at the back of my mind I think I knew it was going to happen, so I thought ‘lets get it over and done with’. It’s been harsh to watch. But I think a part of me that did it on purpose. Part of me made myself do that.

    So what happened when Adam Rickitt try to reach out to you – and you had your fabulous, “They’re f**king lucky to have me” dramz?
    Well I was just coming back from the pub at 10 o’clock to find a camera crew and Adam Rickitt outside my hotel room waiting for my arrival. I was pissed off. I was like: ‘Come in, come in… What do you want?’

    Did you know at the time where it was going ? Did it feel like being like a lamb led to the slaughter…
    Yes, that’s why I just thought let’s rack it up. Let’s give ‘em a good ending here. Toys out of pram, magazine thrown to the floor… Cut.

    We love that you’ve managed to make it the Kavana show!
    Is drinking a problem for you?
    What they didn’t show on that particular day is that I had received some pretty bad news, my mum is poorly with Alzheimers. I had a very weak moment. I just hit the bottle, obviously it was right in the middle of rehearsals and on camera.
    My mum’s in a care home. It’s pretty tough because I can’t call her because it confuses her. So I’ve gone from speaking to my mum everyday to just not speaking to her – maybe once a month, because it gets her very confused. She doesn’t understand who I am. It’s kind of hard, but it is what it is. When I do see her I make sure we have quality time. I have a tendency to self-sabotage, if something good is about to happen a part of me tries to sabotage it.

    What’s the aftercare like when the record industry moves on?
    There was no aftercare. You’re just dumped. I was lucky to begin with because I got paid off from the record company. I wasn’t actually dropped. They made a mistake. Virgin basically got all messed up, well not messed up, but because the Spice Girls were on the same label a lot of the team moved to the states. My A&R left. They missed the date to say ‘you can’t have the next record deal’. They owed it me in the end. We went to court over it. They paid me x amount and that’s when I took the money and ran to America.
    When I moved to America it was definitely a leap – that’s when I went full steam ahead.

    How did Los Angeles treat you?
    It was amazing to begin with, I had an apartment on Sunset Boulevard, I had the agent, I had the management. I was going for auditions with Warner Brothers, I was in a soap opera for a little bit, but the dream out there is everybody’s. You go into a café and the waiters are all actors. There’s a lot of competition

    How does it feel to be singing those songs again?
    To be honest with you, I was sick of singing I Can Make You Feel Good. I’ve gone from singing it – back in the day – in Arenas and TV shows to pubs to make a living. Everyone wants to hear that song, so I ended up hating it, but I’m actually loving it this time round. They’ve totally reinvented it, they gave it a different feel and with the other guys on it is great to have them there.

    Have you bonded with the guys well?
    I think me and Adam have bonded really well. But everyone is so different – I take the hat of being a looney tune, I have my moments – Gareth’s a bit of a Jack-the-lad – Kenzie’s very dry, but a genuine guy…

    So email a very 2014 way to come out to the lads of 5th Story!
    Well I was out to my family and friends, but I’ve not done anything in the public eye worth to even talk about it. It was old news to me, but this show is about your story. It was important. I just wanted to lay my cards on the table.
    Adam is very good at the group email thing, coming from his MP’s background – everyone CC’d in. We were day 4 into rehearsals and it was just getting more awkward and awkward. ‘Are you seeing anyone Kav? – Are you married’? I just couldn’t get the words out as ridiculous as that sounds.
    Kenzie still doesn’t believe I’m gay for whatever reason. I could turn up singing The Wizard Of Oz in ruby slippers and he’d be like: ‘You’re not gay’. Adam was like ‘I knew it, I knew it…’ and I was like ‘you can’t talk – you’re the campest one of the group!’ So there was a lot of banter, but it was fine… Every group needs a gay don’t they!

    You were having a heart to heart with one of the girls from Girl Thing in The Big Reunion and you said, you didn’t want people to judge you because they haven’t walked in your shoes. What moment would you want people to walk in?
    Wow. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through a bad time on my part, but you can have two instances: One is signing a £500,000 deal, buying a house for your parents, feeling absolutely elated. 6 – 7 years later having to borrow 50p to put in the phone box to call the mortgage company to say that you’re going to agree to them to repossess your house- and you have to tell your Mum and Dad that they can no longer live in the house and be just absolutely pot less. I remember walking around in a circle in Leicester Square thinking: I’ve got to tell my Mum and Dad, who are now in their 60s that they’ve got nowhere to live. From one extreme to the other.

    How did you deal with that extreme?
    It was the worst time. It was horrendous. The worst stress ever. And that was the trigger for when I went… You know…. Off the rails.

    How did you get back on track?
    I think it’s a working progress. I’m not perfect – absolutely not, but keeping going, putting one foot in front of the other. My father has passed away, but I’m lucky to have his mindset. He was very much the glass is half full. I always had faith it would turn around. I just kept knocking on doors. Keep trying and keep trying…

    If you were going to write an autobiography what would you call it?
    I don’t think I’m famous enough to write an autobiography, but I have started writing a book, and the working title at the moment is called: Smashed Hits: Misadventures in Pop. I’m on chapter three at the minute. It ‘s like more memoirs. The first chapter I wrote is called Donatella Nobody… It involved me at Donatella Versaces house in the late 90s in Milan at a party – and she was talking to me and an incident took place and came close to me and whispered in me ear: Don-ta-Tell-a Nobody… (Laughs) I remember that party very well, jumping on the bed with Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss…

    What do you make of Andi Peter’s voiceovers?
    Slightly annoying… but you can’t not love Andi Peters. He’s so nostalgic. He know exactly what he’s doing.
    Sometimes I think it’s funny, sometimes I want to punch him in the face!

    The Big Reunion Continues tonight on ITV2 at 9:00PM & Kavana appears on Celebrity Juice, with Keith Lemon straight after. The full interview will appear in the next edition of TheGayUK out on 6th April 2014

  • Doctor Christian on the journey to a gay cure

    Doctor Christian on the journey to a gay cure

    I catch up with Dr Christian about his new documentary for Channel 4 Undercover Doctor: Cure Me I’m Gay where he tries a number of historical and still practiced cures for homosexuality both here in the UK and the US to see why they still exist and of course try to answer the big question… Do they work?

    Doctor Christian cure me I'm gay
    CREDIT: Channel 4

    Am I now talking with a straight Dr Christian?
    Yes exactly, the “cured” Dr Christian. I don’t think anyone for a moment believed I’d be cured.

    Was there any worry from the boyfriend that you might have been converted and suddenly no longer love him?
    This is a funny question. I keep getting asked this. I’ll be completely honest with you, between the two of us we never once for a moment thought there’d be any remote possibility that I’d come home and tell him I had a girlfriend and he’d have to leave.

    What made you want to investigate these gay- cures in the first place?
    It was genuinely because I had a young gay patient come to see me and ask for help to make himself straight. I pride myself on being able to deal with most things and not look terribly shocked but this really rattled me personally. I didn’t show him, but inside I was slightly offended because someone saying they dislike being gay is almost an indirect attack on your own sexuality. I thought this doesn’t go on in this day and age when actually of course it does. This is what really sparked off the documentary of looking into these gay cures and there are lots of them going on, lots of open practitioners taking people on to try to cure them of their homosexuality. I thought is there any medical basis for this? There were two main questions. One, do they exist are they still going on and two, do they work?

    Did you at any point throughout the making of the programme feel ashamed to be gay?
    Honestly not once. I think the person who affirmed it for me, in the most beautiful way, was my father. I came back from America having heard all horrible things and I face my father who said, ‘we’re absolutely fine you’re gay, It’s not a problem.’ It’s a wonderful affirming moment in the documentary and for me, if there were any doubts from America they were completely blown away by the simplicity of my father’s comments. I think it’s important for people to see that and he wasn’t briefed or scripted or paid!

    One of the cures looks at what you wear. Is there any scientific proof that wearing hideous clothes makes you straight?
    Ha ha, you know what was funny? Of all the things that we filmed that was the worst bit for me. I literally had these little strops with my director saying ‘I’m not wearing this. I’m not going out in this. I won’t do it’. It really is stripping you of who you are and forcing you to be someone else. It’s kind of what all the therapies do, sort of putting you in the costume of a straight man which was just so trite but also so unpleasant so dehumanising.

    Are these therapies in some way actually ‘Heterophobic’ as they suggest straight men and women only listen to certain music or wear certain clothes?
    Totally. They’re both homophobic and heterophobic and pander to these ridiculous stereotypes. I go to see a chap called John Smid who used to run a famous camp called Love In Action, [American camp set up to cure homosexuality] He has since turned his back on this and is now happily gay, living with a man. I turn up at his house and he goes through my bag and removes all my ‘gay’ clothes. Of course, It’s entirely dependant on culture. In America anything European is gay, so my Abercrombie tops, which in the UK we’d all consider pretty gay, were absolutely fine but my Italian brogues, of course, those effeminate Italians, not. It was just utter nonsense but what was so sad is they built a whole camp and therapeutic system around this process in which young people, teenage boys would be sent by their parents to go through this and were literally stripped of their dignity, of who they were. Although there are lighter sides when you think actually about the sinister intentions behind it, it becomes a lot more chilling.

    Apart from same-sex attraction, is the gay brain any different to a heterosexual brain?
    I think it’s very interesting. There will be subtle differences that may not be anatomically measurable, but certainly we function and behave differently. Sexual orientation is a spectrum and all of us fit somewhere along that spectrum. I go to investigate at the Cornell University with the test of sexual orientation to see where I lie. Having your sexuality, something that you’ve always known, proven by a machine is incredibly satisfying, that you got it right, that you’ve been sleeping with the right people all this time.

    Do you believe there is a main factor that pushes homosexuals into these therapies?
    Yes. One main factor is the rampant homophobia that still exists all around the world and I think one of the driving forces behind that is religion. I go to the bible belt of America to see the worst of it. Outside one church there are these 14-15-year-olds saying, ‘oh yeah homosexuality is caused by demons, they need to be expunged. All gay people need treatment’. It’s quite easy to see why if you’re living in a community like that you might feel dirty and in need of treatment. You go to Uganda, go to Iran where your two choices are death or an enforced sex change and you think: hmmm I can see why people might seek out these therapies.

    You were clearly quite upset from hearing the views of the young religious kids, do you feel they are being brainwashed into these opinions or were they born homophobic?
    Of course, they haven’t come up with that idea themselves. They’ve been indoctrinated. Kids don’t come up with the idea that sexuality is caused by demons themselves, kids aren’t that ridiculous. I think in the UK our younger generations are growing up far more comfortable that people come in all different shapes and sizes, colours and sexual orientations. You talk to young people and they don’t bat an eyelid if someone’s gay or not, but in America, the same young people in that area were coming out with really quite vile statements but saying it perfectly pleasantly with big smiles on their faces.

    Was it hard to control yourself at times because you only swore twice during the whole programme?
    I can tell you now there were a lot more tears and a lot more swearing that didn’t make the final cut. I mean how could you not, but I don’t think people want to see their doctor swearing and crying for an hour on the telly.

    What do you think motivates these so called ‘doctors’ or pastors to hold these therapy sessions in the first place?
    I think they genuinely believe, either nicely or nastily, that if you are homosexual you cannot lead a life that is acceptable to God. Some of them clearly were very well meaning people who were very concerned for some of their flock who were gay. One scene that doesn’t make it, because we ran out of time, is where I go to a church with a gay young man who is undergoing therapies. He introduces me to his pastor who I have a bit of a fight with over the theological terms but he wasn’t a nasty man at all he just believed this rhetoric. I think others are just rampantly homophobic. It’s a fear of what you don’t know exaggerated by these ideas that homosexuality is equivalent to paedophilia, it’s catching, we pray on you, we recruit you, all these other nonsenses that we’ve all heard and we know are absolute rubbish.

    Do you believe you’ll ever win a scientific and medical argument against a religious one?
    I do. I win several. If it comes down to ‘this is just what I believe’, you can’t win that and of course there’s that great PC thing that we’re not allowed to criticise people’s beliefs. Well, I think that’s absolute nonsense. If those beliefs encroach on me or my life and make my lifeless easy, more unpleasant, then, of course, you can criticise a belief. A great example was chatting to someone who really wants to introduce therapies back here in the UK. He says in the bible it says ‘homosexuality is wrong’ and this is a scientist. So I say to him ‘right so you’re going by the bible as evidence that it’s wrong, so tell me as a scientist… Creationism or evolution which do you subscribe to?’ and he refuses to answer the question. He squirms and hums and gets cross but he can’t answer the question so for me that does kind of win the argument. He cherry picks what he chooses to believe and what he chooses to ignore.

    What would you like to see being done in the future regarding these so called cures?
    What is nice to see, is more and more professional bodies are saying we do not condone these therapies, they should not be done and the therapists who are controlled by us the professional body should not be offering these therapies to their patients.

    From all of the tests you took which did you find the most difficult?
    I think it would have to be the inversion therapy which was particularly unpleasant, the one where I’m vomiting because it was so shameful and I’m so upset. I was recreating it I admit that, but one of the reasons I was so upset was because I was thinking of the people who had volunteered to put themselves through this and not just for a few hours but for days and days of this sort of reinforced shaming. This is with a background where homosexuality in England was still illegal and someone like me, a doctor, would prescribe this to people and that was horrific. The chap who ran the test with me, used to actually perform these tests and he agreed to come forward and do it with us that day, which I think was brilliant of him because he’s completely remorseful about what he used to do, but he was a junior nurse, following the orders his senior doctors told him. He says when I interview him he never ever saw a single example of it working.

    One therapist could tell why your homosexual by a piece of paper you’d colour in. Will you be taking up the practice of having your patients colour in the human body on a sheet of paper so you can diagnose what’s wrong with them?
    Ha ha. Well if it makes $250 a pop it’s worth thinking about it. It’s people like that, that give the medical profession a really bad name and I’m very pleased that we have exposed that kind of nonsense and if it makes even one gay man go well, I’m certainly not going there having seen that nonsense, then I’ll be pleased.