The Sex Files, THE UNDATEABLE GAY reviews his past encounters and the issues of having a high sex drive. Not only has Coronavirus put us into a situation where we have been separated from our friends and families, but it has also given us singletons an extra problem. When the hell can we have sex…
Tag: The Undateable Gay
Think you’re unlucky in love? You know nothing of dating misery until you’ve delved into the world of the undateable gay. He just can’t catch a break…
THE UNDATEABLE GAY | The first time I had my heart broken
Columnist Mark Woollard recalls his first heartbreak and the drama that could give SATC a run for its money.
COMMENT | Being homosexual is not a commodity you can buy online
I saw a homophobic comment on Twitter today that really made me angry and I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I had to retaliate. “I don’t mind you lot being gay as long as you don’t promote it to my children.” Oh yes, because it’s advertised on big billboards and television adverts. “BE GAY….
THE UNDATEABLE GAY – How I came out to my parents
It was the summer of 2001. Bridget Jones’ Diary had just been released at Easter and Tullene and myself had already seen it five times. It was a few weeks until my 18th birthday and I’d just passed my driving test. I can still remember my first car to this day. It was a Talbot….
THE UNDATEABLE GAY – That time I got pissed on
The year Mark Haddon’s novel “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time” was published. The year Dirty Den made his comeback in EastEnders. And the year Jemini entered the Eurovision Song Contest with “Cry Baby.” The song which gained the worst placing ever for the United Kingdom. I personally quite like the song….
THE UNDATEABLE GAY | downloads Plenty of Fish
I do it every Christmas period. For some unbeknown reason, usually around Boxing Day, I decide it might be a good idea to go in search of a husband. I don’t know what comes over me. It must be the excessive plonk consumed over the festive period. Or, on a more serious note, it could…
THE UNDATEABLE GAY | Joins a gay walking group
For years, my friends have been nagging me to get some gay friends. Apparently they’re concerned that my circle consists of straight ladies, their husbands and my gaggle of old dears from the church. “You’ll never find a life partner surrounded by us!” Are they trying to tell me something? Lucky I’m not a sensitive…
THE UNDATEABLE GAY | That date when I was arrested for being drunk and disorderly
You would have thought that I’d learnt my lesson about venturing outside of London for dates. But no, ever the glutton for punishment, when my latest beau, Kevin suggested a day trip to Brighton, I jumped at the chance. Kevin was/is the son of my then hairdresser. I say was as he’s no longer in…
THE UNDATEABLE GAY | My ‘ALMOST’ happy ending…
After a long-term, online, long-distance relationship with a guy that turned out to be transgender, THE UNDATEABLE GAY goes to meet the man of his dreams… I’ve deleted all my dating apps. There’s not one to be found on my iPhone. I was fed up with all the curious straight men chatting to me on…
THE UNDATEABLE GAY | The foot fetish
When it comes to sex, I’ve always found myself to be plain and simple. Not boring, I would like to point out immediately. But I’m not one for these chains and whips activities. I mean, I’ve got nothing against anyone who chooses a slightly kinkier sex life than me. Each to their own, that’s what…
THE UNDATEABLE GAY | Goes to Prison
This week, The Undateable Gay goes to prison… Not as an inmate, but to run a social event for gay and bi prisoners.