THEGAYUK

Day: 4 February 2017

  • 60 Second Film Review | XXX: The Return Of Xander Cage

    XXX : RETURN OF XANDER CAGE – The extreme sports turned International superspy franchise returns for the third time. Vin Diesel takes over both sides of the camera to attempt to repeat the Fast & Furious blockbuster reboot/relaunch thing.

    Nutshell – Xander Cage aka Vin Diesel comes back from death to travel the globe sorting out the baddies who are making satelites fall from the sky onto unsuspecting cities but as per usual who are the actual bad guys here? The action two movies ago was incredible and here it goes up and up with each action beat climaxing in some mid-air super stunts in the finale as he saves the world in stunning fashion again.

    Running Time – 107 minutes; Certificate – 12A

    Tagline – ‘Kick some ass, get the girl and try to look dope whilst you are doing it’.

    THEGAYUK Factor – Vin Diesel with muscles pumped up like balloons with buff sidekicks and hundreds of steroid enhanced bad guys this is a jerk off fest for blokes into REAL men sweating around and on each other – it just stops short of deep throat French kissing. The underwater scenes are pure gay porn alone.

    Cast – Vin Diesel, Samuel L Jackson, Toni Collette, Donnie Yen, Neymar Jnr and Ice Cube… true fans will work out what exactly this cast means after the last movie in the triple X franchise.

    Key Player – This is one guys film and it is Mr Diesel – He took over the Fast And Furious Franchise after 4 average films and turned it into the biggest money maker outside of Star Wars and he gives it all and some to hopefully do the same here.

    Budget – $85 Million but struggling to get outside of its home fanbase in the States but it is exactly the sort of film to do big business internationally – Number Four in the series is up in the air at the moment but we think and hope they will go for it big time.

    Best Bit – 0.34 mins; So so much action here its like a Bond film on steroids and the best is a superb motorbike chase on land… and then even better on water and through the surf – very impressive.

    Worst Bit – 1.37 mins; The comedy relief is a techy girl called Becky and boy is she annoying no more than when she is forced into a gun battle that you just want it over and done with.

    Little Secret – The world’s greatest footballer Brazil’s oh so fit as f*ck Neymar Jrn makes his acting debut here and not in just one extended scene but two – more please maybe shirtless next time.

    Further Viewing – XXX 1 and 2, Fast And Furious 5 through 7, The Expendables 1-3, James Bond 7-21 (Stop at Casino Royale if you like action) Jason Bourne 2 and 4 plus all 28 movies starring Jason Statham.

    Any Good – If you like this sort of thing you will love this – it is a true fans only movie. If you want acting, character development, poignant stories move right along… nothing to see here. It is way better than number two and we hope there are more. In the dictionary under Friday night popcorn movie you will probably find this films title alone.

    Rating – 67% out of 100.

  • Two men hospitalised after brutal homophobic attack in Trafford

    Two men hospitalised after brutal homophobic attack in Trafford

    Police in Greater Manchester are asking the general public for help in identifing suspects in connection with what they are calling a homophobic attack on a tram in Trafford.

    Homophobic attack in Trafford

    Officers are trying to identify the man and woman pictured following what they are calling a homophobic attack on a tram in Trafford, just weeks after another homophobic incident in Oldham, just 11 miles away in Oldham.

    Two men in their 40s were travelling on the Metrolink from Media City into the city centre on the night of Sunday 22 January 2017 when they were allegedly attacked on the tram, just before it stopped at Cornbrook station. Police are looking for one man and two women became involved in a verbal altercation with the victims.

    They then launched a violent attack on them, punching and kicking them while subjecting them to homophobic abuse.

    Both victims needed hospital treatment.

    One of the women is described as a white, with long brown hair in a ponytail and was wearing a dark cap. She was also wearing a black hoody with a white square and white lettering on the front of it.

    Detective Constable Claire Phythian, from GMP’s Trafford borough, said,

     

    “This was a disturbing attack on two innocent men as they made their way home.

    “We are doing everything we can to find those responsible for it and with that, we need the public’s help with any information about the incident.

    “If you recognise the people pictured, or have any information about them, then please contact police. If you were on the tram at the time of the offence and witnessed the attack, please also call us.

    “We take all reports of hate crimes extremely seriously and the message is clear – they will not and never will be tolerated in Greater Manchester.”

    Anyone with any information should call 0161 856 7677 quoting incident number 2269 of 22 January 2017. Alternatively, information can be passed on anonymously by calling Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

  • The easy way to find out what skin type you are

    The easy way to find out what skin type you are

    I was recently asked a question by one of my readers that I am hearing a lot recently. “How do I determine my skin type?” Many people will go through life having no clue about their skin but because we are all unique knowing your own skin type is crucial to knowing what your skin requires to look its best! Identify your skin type may seem difficult at first but is actually pretty easy. Just follow my guide.

    CREDIT: ©-nd3000-Depositphotos

    Pay attention to your eye area, cheeks and T-zone. Look at the texture and tone of the skin around those areas. How does it look and feel?

    Normal Skin
    A balanced oil and water content will leave your skin feeling evenly textured, smooth and toned all over. If you have this then your skin will be referred to as ‘Normal.’ All the other skin types will hate you, as it is the easiest skin type to look after.

    Combination Skin
    This skin type is probably the most expensive type, as you will require different products to treat different areas of your face. Usually your cheeks are dry while your T-zone is oily and your temper is aggravated. Good luck.

    Normal To Oily Skin
    Say hello to my skin type. Most days I can see my own reflection in my forehead. That’s right is you have normal to oily skin then you may like shiny and greasy and pores and blemishes may be (will be) more visible.

    Normal To Dry Skin
    That feeling you get when you leave a face mask on for too long, if you feel like that without the aid of a lazy face mask you have normal to dry skin. You may also notice fine lines and rough, flaky patches.

    A FINAL NOTE
    No matter your skin type do not panic, there’s a lotion or potion to suit everybody! If you have any questions regarding your own personal skin type or what products you should be leaving leave a comment below or tweet me @StephenCroweFit and I will do my best to get you a hasty reply. You’re very welcome.

  • Dear Innocent-Me… What warnings, or advice, would you give your past self on the delightful world of gay dating apps?

    Dear Innocent-Me… What warnings, or advice, would you give your past self on the delightful world of gay dating apps?

    Embed from Getty Images

    Dear Innocent Me,

    I’m going to jump right into this one, partly because I have a word-count to stick to, but also because it’s a pretty important point that I need to discuss with you this time. One of the best parts of having a big gay time machine to contact my younger self through is knowing that I can potentially stop you from making some big mistakes. One way you’re going to make mistakes in the near future is through the fabulous world of mobile dating apps, so listen up, kiddo – it’s about to get real.

    Firstly, even at the age of 25 I’m still somehow

    the naive gay who sees them as Dating Apps – maybe it’s all the musicals, or Julia Roberts movies I’ve seen, that have convinced me love comes first and always wins in the end. However, here’s the truth, a lot of -and perhaps most – guys don’t view or use these apps in this way. For a lot of guys these apps are more about hooking up than they are about dating, and they’re more about sex than they are about love. This will cause some confusion, and a fair bit of wasted time, in conversations you have with guys you envisage as possible suiters. Yes, there will be those guys who are upfront about it from the get go; they’ll ask for pics, or they’ll send pics, or you’ll be greeted with the stunningly eloquent opening question that is, “top or bttm?” You’ll get used to these guys, and you will even get used to explaining that you’re after a little more than they are. It’s the others that really breed confusion – the ones who talk like they want more, staying full Dr Jeckyll until the night hits and Mr Hyde emerges. Let’s cut to the chase, don’t fall for these guys.

    Secondly, remember to always put safety first. Of course, this comes into play just as much in the bedroom as it does on the apps, but I’m referring to the latter now. Avoid being too open and vulnerable on these Apps, maybe even to the extent of not showing your face in your profile picture – it will definitely help to avoid unplanned chance meetings, after all. Other than that it’s all the usual points, no addresses, of course no banking information, and no deep dark confessions to that faceless torso with glistening abs.

    When it gets to the real world part, which it will on more than a few occasions, listen to what your parents have always told you. Strangers = Dangers. Meet in a public, well lit place – and make sure there are people who know your exact plans, that you keep them updated on all the while, of course. There are going to be couple times you don’t follow these rules and you’re pretty lucky nothing bad actually happens, but just FYI they’re super awkward encounters and not worth all of the risk and worry at all.

    Finally, don’t fall for anyone before actually meeting them – this even goes for the good ones you might find. You’re going to do it, and you’re going to feel stupid. At the end of the day dating apps are like Facebook or any other kind of social media, people show what they want you to see, and hide what they don’t. You can’t fall for a concept of a man.

    Yours sincerely,

    Twenty-Five Year Old (Somewhat Regretful) You

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.