THEGAYUK

Author: Chris Bridges

  • COLUMN | Fat On The Inside

    I’ve never been a fan of exercise. I don’t suit Lycra, sweat just standing still and don’t like any activity that you can’t do and smoke a cigarette at the same time.

    There’s also the whole business of how it taps into my teenage memories of draughty sports halls, hideous PE kits and the barking, homophobic bully of a teacher we had. I once went to look round a gym and had to have a lay down on the sofa afterwards. I didn’t like the testosterone fuelled grunting and the grim determination but the vending machine looked fine to me. They didn’t seem to have a reading area or a kiosk selling cigarettes and Cosmopolitans, though, which was a major negative.

    I’ve always thought that I could get away without exercise. I walk for miles. I am thin as a rake and am generally creakily healthy. I’ve been getting these badgering letters for the past year, at least once every couple of months. Apparently, as I’m over 40, I need a health check. My discomfiture at being frequently reminded that I’m over 40 is immense.

    Stupidly, I succumbed and am have now been told that I’m fat on the inside. I have moderately high blood pressure, high cholesterol and am carrying a 10 to 20% risk of developing heart disease in the next 10 years. I feel so much better for that. Although I have the BMI of a jogger, I have the blood of a slightly obese man who watches a lot of daytime television.

    I protested, naturally. I’m a vegetarian who eats about 15 of my 5 a day. I walk a lot and although I have a penchant for a sugary latte and the odd cream cake, my diet is pretty good. The nurse countered back by pointing out that the main problem was the part of the cholesterol which indicates that I’m not getting enough exercise.

    She helpfully suggested that I try swimming (near drowning in 2001, municipal baths, memories of verruca socks: Big Fat NO!), cycling (aside from the fact I can’t balance well enough to ride one, there’s all that mangling type death stuff on the roads to consider: even fatter NO), a gym (Just NO!) and jogging (…live to 90 but with agonisingly painful knees: NO!). Apparently all of these things also need to be done 5 times a week for 30 minutes. Now that’s fanatical, if you ask me. I have a job and a lot of theatre to see.

    Naturally, I have a plan. It involves an exercise. I’ll walk up to the counter of Costa Coffee in a brisk manner and very quickly say “A skinny latte please” and without breaking out a sweat, I’ll pour in 2 sachets of sugar instead of the usual 3. I think that should help. I’ll think about the exercise next year and in the meantime I’ll briskly turn the pages of a novel. That should sort it all out.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Smashed by Gandini Juggling, Udderbelly, London

    ★★★ | Smashed by Gandini Juggling, Udderbelly, London

    A mix of circus and theatre, inspired by the work of choreographer Pina Bausch, Smashed is a series of nostalgic filmic scenes exploring conflict, lost love and quaint afternoon tea.

    After a day hard at work, an hour of juggling felt like a daunting prospect for me and I imagined it could become tedious after the first 15 minutes, picturing tired old Covent Garden street performers. I was wrong, however, as Smashed is more of a tongue in cheek, contemporary dance show with a lot of juggling and a hell of a lot of apples. At times surreal and absurdist, at others cheesy and at others bizarre yet comical, this is quite a fun show. The troupe has awesome timing and is eminently skillful. As a person who can barely catch one ball or walk straight, I have to admire anyone who can juggle, never mind some of the mind bending routines involving weaving in and out, shared juggling and cross over hands. I won’t spoil the surprises by revealing the full repertoire. Whilst this may not suit everyone’s tastes due to its absurdist and darkly camp nature, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

    The venue is a rare treat too: a giant inflatable, purple, upside-down cow on The Southbank? What’s not to like?

    The line-up for this year’s Udderbelly Festival is varied as usual and the amazing Speigeltent (a vintage wooden, mirrored tent that has hosted Marlene, Judy and Noel Coward to name but a few) lands in May with a stunning line-up of cabaret, burlesque, comedy and more. It’s well worth checking out and the line-up includes Limbo (the show so fantastic that Madonna saw it twice), the hilarious Zoe Lyons and Tina C, Burlesque from House of Burlesque and The Black Cat Cabaret and the indescribably brilliant boy-lesque of Briefs.

    http://smashedjuggling.com/ runs till 8th of May 2014
    Explore the Udderbelly program through till the 13th of July https://www.underbelly.co.uk/udderbelly-festival-at-southbank-centre
    Explore the London Wonderground program from 7th of May through to the 28th of September 2014 here: https://www.londonwonderground.co.uk/

  • THEATRE REVIEW | On Tidy Endings / Safe Sex, Tristan Bates Theatre

    ★★★★ | On Tidy Endings / Safe Sex, Tristan Bates Theatre

    Whose loss is it anyway? That’s the bone of contention between a gay man and a straight woman who meet to straighten up loose ends following the death of the man they both loved.

    The UK premiere of Harvey Fierstein’s one-act, On Tidy Endings, is a sometimes fiercely funny and finally poignant study of how the universal situation of losing a loved one takes on unique new qualities in the context of AIDS.

    Another short from Fierstein’s Safe Sex Trilogy, Safe Sex explores a relationship under strain in the early part of the AIDS crisis, with comic effect.

    Starring Deena Payne (Emmerdale, Calendar Girls) and CJ de Mooi (Eggheads), On Tidy Endings is a witty and well-written play which is a strong vehicle for Fierstein’s unique brand of irreverent humour with the killer one-liners and feistiness you’d expect from his work. It’s a cunning play, luring the viewer in with gentle humour and mild pathos, only to deliver some discretely timed knockout punches. Safer Sex is a more whimsical piece but still has merit and is entertaining, if slightly absurd in places. Anyone familiar with Torch Song Trilogy will see shades of Arnold in both Ghee, the over dramatic and neurotic partner and Arthur, the bereaved gay lover of Collin.

    Anyone who might be home at teatime may be familiar with C J de Mooi (a self-invented name, apparently meaning beautiful one!), the slightly pompous and prissy seeming figure, famous for a dramatic outburst on The Weakest Link and as quiz expert on Eggheads. Having seen him on TV, I was puzzled by the concept of him as a serious actor in the plays but managed to suspend disbelief and was pleasantly surprised. Whilst he’s not going to be winning any BAFTA awards any time soon, he managed to fulfil the roles adequately. Deena Payne and Cole Michaels as his co-stars, give strong and naturalistic performances which offset some of his limitations as a performer.

    The wealth of culture which came from the AIDS crisis is a great heritage and one which is well worth continually re-examining and reviving, especially in our more complacent times where HIV prevention is less prominent on the agenda. These two plays are well worth checking out.

    The production supports The Make a Difference Trust which raises money from the entertainment industry to support people living with HIV and AIDS. and those in the entertainment industry facing hardship as a result of living with long term conditions.

    The plays run until the 17th of May

    Buy tickets here:
    http://www.tristanbatestheatre.co.uk/safe_sex.asp
    Check out The Make a Difference Trust and their work here: http://www.madtrust.org.uk/

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Relative Values, Harold Pinter Theatre, London

    ★★★ | Relative Values, Harold Pinter Theatre, London

    In 1951 at Marchwood House in East Kent, Felicity the Countess (Patricia Hodge) is anxiously awaiting the arrival of her son with his new fiancée.

    More distressed by the news of his impending marriage is her loyal maid, Moxie (Caroline Quentin). Realising that the soon to be new Countess of Marchwood is not just the glittering Hollywood star she portrays herself as, but her long lost and bitterly resented sister from Sidcup, Moxie decides she has to pack her cases and leave. Felicity can’t bear to lose Moxie and along with her decidedly camp nephew and butler Crestwell (Rory Bremner), hatches a plot to dress Moxie up and palm her off as a family friend.

    Trevor Nunn’s revival of Noel Coward’s Relative Values contains some great performances, a beautiful set and great staging, yet somehow fails to fully deliver. In spite of Hodge, Bremner and Quentin showing impeccable timing and great comedic talent, the play feels rusty and out of touch and apart from the occasional glimpse of Coward’s usual waspish humour, felt humdrum and like a weak farce with a nonsensical plot. When the humour shines through it works well and there are some brief moments of high camp humour.

    Mostly, however, the play feels decidedly antiquated and hasn’t stood the test of time well. Coward’s glittering set pieces of Hay Fever, Private Lives and The Vortex aren’t reflected well here with the play lacking the rapidly paced repartee and razor sharp wit that Coward is well known for. Coward’s output was prolific so it’s to be expected that there is likely to be a weak link or two in his catalogue of plays and this lacklustre farce has to be a low point.

    It’s definitely a privilege to see two great actresses, like Quentin and Hodge, with such talent for comedy together on one stage. It’s just a shame that the piece doesn’t consistently offer them the material they need to work with.

    Relative values runs at the Pinter Theatre until 21st of June 2014

    Buy tickets here: http://www.atgtickets.com/shows/relative-values/harold-pinter-theatre/

  • THEATRE REVIEW: The Archimedes Principle, Park Theatre, London

    ★★★★ | The Archimedes Principle, Park Theatre, London

    How safe are children in the care of strangers? How much do we know about the people we work with? How far would we go to protect ourselves?

    In a town that’s haunted by an incident at the nearby community centre regular swimming lessons come to a halt when a swimming instructor is accused of inappropriately touching a child during a lesson and the dangers of Facebook creep to the surface. When history appears to repeat itself what can people do but expect the worst?

    This intense one act play by Spanish writer Josep Maria Miró i Coromina is set entirely in the changing room of a swimming pool. Buff and outwardly wholesome young swimming coach Brandon is about to have his world torn apart as his troubled boss, Anna, corners him and his colleague, Matt to talk about a complaint from a parent.

    The play was an award winning triumph in its native Spain, playing to sell out houses. It is certainly challenging and thought provoking and yet still manages to be entertaining and fast paced. The action flips about through time, moving skilfully backward and forward through the events of one day; a device which works well in telling the entirely believable story.

    Credit goes to the four actors especially the two younger men, Lee Knight and Matt Bradley-Robinson. Knight is particularly compelling as Brandon, a cocky hunk with a six-pack who hides vulnerability and maybe some darker issues. Bradley-Robinson is utterly believable as his slightly gauche and less confident colleague.

    The script feels tight and rarely falters and the subject of how we deal with letting children be cared for by strangers without living in fear feels like a relevant and important subject to tackle. The flip side of how adults behave when around children in an anxious society is another thorny issue.
    The play runs until 11th of May

    Book tickets here: http://parktheatre.co.uk/whats-on/archimedes-principle/about

  • THEATRE REVIEW | King Charles III, Almeida Theatre

    ★★★★ | King Charles III, Almeida Theatre
    Queen Elizabeth II is no more. Long live the King! Prince Charles has long courted controversy, offering his opinions about political matters, the environment and been the victim of press intrusion. How will he take on the mantel of power after a lifetime waiting in the wings, especially when the first task is to sign off a bill limiting the powers of the press? How will the younger royals react to his reign? More importantly, what will become of the nation?

    Mike Bartlett’s future history play about the reign of King Charles is an unusual but effective piece of thought provoking comedy. Written in a Shakespearean style with dialogue in cod blank verse and abundant soliloquys. Shakespearean tropes abound too: the whispering ghost casting a shadowy figure across the stage (Princess Diana, complete with head tilt, of course), the scheming, ambitious wife (Catherine Duchess of Cambridge) and the foppish fool (Prince Harry).

    The recognisable characters of the modern soap opera family that is the Windsors are instantly recognisable yet the cast manage to give them depths and motivations that the viewer wouldn’t always expect. Tim Piggott-Smith portrays Charles as a principled man; misguided and idealistic at times but wise at others, with an underlying crisis of confidence bubbling beneath the surface. Lydia Wilson is spellbinding as Kate and Richard Goulding’s Harry, bewitched by a Republican commoner from South East London, is magnificent. Handsome Oliver Chris is a revelation as a William who is less effete than he initially appears.

    Rupert Gould has managed to stage the play as a haunting piece of modern theatre that is watchable and compelling yet also informative and highly relevant to our times. This is a hilarious play that is quite an exceptional piece of theatre following on from the Almeida’s recent run of stand out pieces.

    I suspect that this play will go on to huge success and acclaim and wouldn’t be surprised by a West End transfer. Now might be the time to catch it in the intimate space of the Almeida that lends itself so well to this production.

    King Charles III runs until Saturday 31st of May

    Buy tickets here: http://www.almeida.co.uk/event/kingcharles

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Three Sisters, Southwark Playhouse

    ★★★★★ | | Three Sisters, Southwark Playhouse

    Three sisters are living in a vast house three thousand miles from home, longing for different forms of escape as they languish in the Middle East.

    Overworked and highly strung English teacher, Olga, yearns for the romance she hasn’t been able to find, as she’s acted as the maternal figure for her younger siblings following the death of their parents. Wild and sullen Masha regrets a hasty marriage to a man she looks down on as a fool and idealistic Irina dreams of returning to England and escaping the boredom of life in an ex-pat community. Meanwhile their brother, Andrey, is failing to live up to his early promise as he contemplates an unsuitable marriage to someone brash and vulgar and is threatening to bring them to ruin with his dissipation.

    Tended to by two elderly servants, they rattle around their huge property. Hard drinking, hidden desires and deceit abound as the siblings spar with each other, fend off the outside world and unwittingly welcome in turmoil and chaos in the shape of a trio of soldiers, far from their homes also, and an old family friend with issues with drink and brutal frankness.

    Anya Reiss’ skilful reworking of Chekov’s classic 1901 play brings it bang up to date into the 21st century and proves what a witty and skilled observer of human nature the author was. Language and situation may have changed radically in over a hundred years but motivations and desires haven’t. The complex plot is retold beautifully and with panache.

    This play certainly packs a punch with breath-taking performances, a versatile and well-utilised set and a well paced dramatic arc. Southwark Playhouse has managed to pull off an astounding piece of theatre. The cast are particularly strong with knock out performances all round.

    If you’re a Chekov fan then this won’t disappoint. If you’re new to Chekov’s work then you couldn’t get a much finer introduction than Reiss’ reworking. This has to be one of the must see plays of the spring.

    Three Sisters is on at Southwark Playhouse until the 3rd of May 2014

    Book tickets here: http://southwarkplayhouse.co.uk/index.php/the-large/three-sisters/

  • COLUMN | North and South

    It’s almost one year since I moved to London from the Midlands and it’s been an interesting experience.

    My friends fell into two camps. They were either horrified that I could think of moving to such a place, visualising that I’d be living in a minute flat somewhere akin to Piccadilly Circus and spending my days shouldering rude and unfriendly people out of my way, lonely and afraid and paying ten pounds for a latte. The other camp was more excited and saw it as a huge opportunity.

    Maybe both were right. It has been the most exciting opportunity but my elbows are definitely sharper and keener to shove. The chances to see art and culture are amazing and I tend to wear myself out trying to see too much. I’ve had to give myself a stern talking to after periods where I’ve been doing so much that I’ve been left feeling frazzled.

    I live in a place no busier or madder than where I lived before and the coffee is the same price. Maybe my rent is a little higher (3 times higher and the increased wages don’t cover this) but it feels worth it and I have plenty of room and lots of leafy green spaces nearby. As for the unfriendliness: people here are just as friendly as in the North. People talk to me at bus stops and checkouts and are happy to engage and connect. The place I work is full of people who are warm and kind. People on public transport are no less rude than further north (i.e. still quite rude). Maybe the tube is less friendly, but who can blame that population. They’re crammed into packed carriages underground trying hard to get somewhere: wouldn’t you be a little bit determined with no energy left to chat or smile?

    Statistics show a huge North/South divide in terms of money and employment and rates of immigration that falls into pockets depending on area. Personally, I hate lazy stereotyping. People are people wherever you live. Yes, those London accents are sometimes tricky to understand and they do get irate when I call them all Cockneys. Yes, jellied eels will never replace chips and gravy in my heart but I bloody love London and I also bloody love my hometown too. Long live mobility.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Dark Vanilla Jungle, Soho Theatre

    ★★★★★ | Dark Vanilla Jungle, Soho Theatre

    Andrea keeps getting asked if she’s ashamed.
    Ashamed of what she did to the soldier.
    Of what she did to the baby.
    But Andrea’s not ashamed at all.
    And she wants to tell you why…

    Dark Vanilla Jungle is a powerhouse of a play by award-winning playwright Philip Ridley and stars the amazing Gemma Whelan (Game of Thrones, One Man Two Guvnors).

    Andrea enters onto a bare stage and starts to interact with the audience telling them her story. Initially nervous and shy, she presents her tale with a naïve charm and gaucheness that is achingly funny but mildly alarming. As Andrea’s story progresses there are hints of what’s to come and her nervous shyness turns to an increasingly frenetic and angst-ridden tirade that is breath taking, heart breaking and lyrical. Ridley’s use of language and ability to tell a multi-layered story is pure genius, much like his previous works “Tender Napalm” and “The Fastest Clock in the Universe”. Ridley is a writer at his peak.

    It’s rare that theatre is this affecting and cathartic with the audience taken on a compelling roller-coaster journey that left them bemused, amused, horrified, shaken and perturbed. Viewing this play isn’t a light experience but nor is it one that feels turgid or heavy-handed, instead being fast paced and thrilling. Although dark themes lie at the heart of the play, there’s an uplifting quality to the frenetic pace too and Andrea’s horrific experiences become something that you accept and forgive, understanding just why she isn’t at all ashamed about what she did.

    A huge credit for the power of the piece lies with actress Gemma Whelan who gives a staggering performance that is a sight to behold. The audience are left wondering quite how one actress can give so much and feel exhausted for her.

    The Soho Theatre has proven once again that it is right at the heart of innovative new theatre after a string of recent hits. This is an absolutely brilliant experience not to be missed.
    Dark Vanilla Jungle is on at Soho Theatre until the 13th of April

    Book tickets here: http://www.sohotheatre.com/whats-on/dark-vanilla-jungle-2014/

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Angel and Now We Are Pope, London Theatre, New Cross

    ★★★ | Angel and Now We Are Pope, London Theatre, New Cross

    Faith and desire clash in this premiere double-bill of one-man plays.
    In ‘Angel’, a priest devotes his life to God and fights daily against the temptations of the flesh. Now he must confront the man – or angel – or demon that haunts him.

    In ‘Now We Are Pope’, eccentric writer Frederick Rolfe rejoices in exile and the companionship of the gondoliers of Venice. Alone in his room he relives his most famous novel, Hadrian VII.

    The London Theatre is an intimate fringe venue, with the actors alarmingly close to the audience, inhabiting a small sparse set. Both actors, Christopher Peacock and Christopher Annus, give strong performances. ‘Angel’ was the more powerful of the two monologues with a strong sinister theme that packed a punch. ‘Now We Are Pope’, although intriguing, was at times rambling and hard to follow. Frederick Rolfe is definitely an intriguing character with eccentricity abounding and is certainly a character that is worth reading more about.

    The London Theatre is an interesting addition to the London Fringe Theatre scene. The double bill runs until the 23rd March 2014

    http://thelondontheatre.com

  • COLUMN | 1967 And All That

    I often feel such apathy when it comes to politics and I’m a little ashamed of this. We live in an age of complacency when we often feel that having the latest technology, watching the latest T.V. program or owning the latest item of clothing is of rank importance and it’s hard not to fall into that pattern.

    Sitting in the comfort of my home, I feast my eyes on the events of other countries and let myself feel briefly indignant at how homosexuals are treated in Russia and some African countries and then I pour myself another coffee and carry on flicking through a glossy magazine or idly perusing the Internet.

    I saw a play yesterday about the 1967 legal changes that paved the way for gay equality in the UK. The laws that were passed led to homosexuality being decriminalised between consenting adults in private, albeit with an unequal age of consent. It’s hard to believe that it was so recent in our history that we were recognised as lawful and not some sinister and grotesque force of evil.

    Contrast this with stepping out of the theatre and seeing a right wing group with racist and homophobic ideals marching in protest through central London. It’s a stark reminder that we may have won the majority of the battles over the past 50 years but that the war is far from over. We’re in constant danger of losing ground. Public opinion changes and forces with evil or just ignorant and misguided intent gain ground without us even noticing.

    Pre-1967 there was a dark and dangerous climate for us. Blackmail, imprisonment, and psychiatric therapy: these were all far from unusual things for the homosexual male to be faced with as well as venom, hatred and vilification.

    Like most of us, I’m a little bit lazy, slightly complacent and frequently preoccupied with own tiny sphere of existence. This isn’t going to change massively. However, I have made a vow and that’s to be more aware. I’m going to read more, notice more and see where that takes me. I’m not going to turn into Peter Tatchell and put myself in the firing line constantly (my nerves are too fragile for that) but at least it’s a step forward. Maybe you could join me in this? Who knows where it’ll take us and what good it might do.

    Right, that’s enough politics. The soapbox can go back for storing soap in and I’m off to look around shops. I’ve done my political thinking for today.