Tom Daley rose to fame during the 2012 London Olympics for his diving excellence. He came out first as bisexual through an emotional YouTube video and then confirmed he was gay live on TV. He revealed he was in a relationship with Dustin Lance Black, the screenwriter for the award winning biopic Milk.
Diving champion and Olympic medalist Tom Daley has had a festive Christmas – judging by his Instagram account.
Rainbows were apparently the theme for the newly out Diver, Tom Daley as he shared his Christmas day on Instagram with his fans and followers.
Pictures included his brand new rainbow socks and a pressie wrapped with a rainbow – but most revealingly of all – Tom posed in nothing by a ‘gay icon’ apron.
Apparently the turkey was shocked.
That’s exactly what has happened and it doesn’t half bug me.
Tom Daley coming out has been splashed over the front pages of trash rag tabloids this week and was even breaking news on the BBC and Sky news channels. I don’t see why as it is not actually news. It’s simply gossip. Now of course I applaud Tom for having the courage to come out in his own time and on his own terms. Although sad that he had to reveal his relationship status at all, there’s no doubt that his words will help other young people who are thinking about coming out. But again I come back to the reason why it is headline news. With so much other stuff going on in the world that should be featured on the news, why was a 19 year old lad revealing he is in a relationship with another man the headline story?
The sad fact is that gossip sells. It sells papers to those who are taken in by tabloid trash and it also keeps people watching television shows. Personally, I couldn’t care less about who Tom Daley is dating. I’m more concerned about the victims of the typhoon in the Philippines, the people injured in the Glasgow helicopter crash, the many homeless people facing cold, lonely nights in the lead up to Christmas, and important global issues such as climate change.
In the wake of Tom Daley’s ‘news’ I was asked to take part in a BBC radio discussion about it. Whenever something gay is in the news the BBC roll me out to talk about it. I agreed because I thought it would be a great opportunity to tell thousands of people that it is not a newsworthy story and we should be more concerned about other things. Also taking part in the discussion was a Baptist minister who agreed that it is not newsworthy. However, his reason for that view is because he believes a relationship should be between one man and one woman. I began to switch off when he started talking about the Bible and why we should all follow its teachings. Normally I’d challenge such opinions but on this occasion decided to ignore the bigot and focus on my message. Luckily I managed to convey that Tom Daley’s relationship status should not be on the news, but I felt that perhaps it was falling on some deaf ears.
As I put my face in the palms of my hands we were then fed the revelation that Tom is apparently dating someone who is twenty years older than himself. This is something else I could not care less about and it baffles me why anyone else would be interested. The shock, some genuine and some feigned, is absurd and I do not know what all the fuss is about. I’m in a relationship with someone who is twenty five years older than me. All I can say is don’t judge and don’t knock it until you have tried. This is such a non-story and I wish that people cared as much about genuine news as they do about this tittle tattle.
Something else that has bugged me in recent weeks is the James Arthur bashing. Everyone seems to be jumping on that bandwagon, but it’s something I refuse to be a part of. While I don’t condone James calling someone a “f**king queer”, I do accept that we all make mistakes. I don’t believe that James Arthur is a homophobe. A gobby fool, maybe, but he’s no homophobe. I just think that he did not think about what he was saying; he engaged his mouth before his brain. What has followed since then has been nothing short of a witch hunt. Comments in the media and on sites such as Twitter and Facebook have been ridiculous. As far as I am concerned James Arthur has apologised and that should be accepted.
It’s sad when people jump on bandwagons, sometimes without actually analysing all of the facts. It’s all too easy to do, but there are bigger things that we should be concerned about.
Instead of being taken in by gossip and jumping on bandwagons because it’s the in thing to do, we should be highlighting real news and causes. The totally abhorrent situation in Russia is something we must continue to highlight and it needs to be shown in the media more. Instead of writing about Tom Daley they should be bringing attention to the human rights struggles going on in the world at the moment.
An example is when Madonna took to the stage in a Scout’s uniform to protest against gay people being banned from being in the Scouts, the media twisted the story to make it about Madonna looking ridiculous instead of highlighting the reason why she dressed like that. It’s something that I find incredibly frustrating and it needs to change.
How are we going to make real progress and bring about huge social changes if we continue to be taken in by gossip and bandwagons? It’s clear that the media need to change, but actually, we as a society need to as well.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
So, is it safe to come out yet? Safe to log on and view my Twitter or Facebook profiles? Have the haters gone yet?
Browsing my Facebook timeline earlier yesterday, I came across Tom’s initial posting and clicked to watch the video – hey, I’m only human! And here’s what I thought…
I was bowled over, in awe, and somewhat ashamed. Here was a 19 year old, making a statement about whom he loves, and as part of the process, about his sexuality. It raised quite a few questions in my mind, not least being when was the last time a straight sportsman or celebrity did the same? When was the last time someone straight had to garner their courage and discuss their love for someone of the opposite sex with their parents, friends, siblings, wider family – let alone the world’s media. And also, if we or they had to, would it be done in such an amazingly simple way?
One comment Tom made in the video was about discussing this with friends and family and there being the suggestion about doing it in a magazine or on a TV programme, but instead he opted for a simple home-made video, something that looks like he’s just making a video message for his legions of fans, gay and straight, bi or trans, young and old. It felt like a chat, not a major, cue fanfare, blazing media circus of an announcement.
I love that he’s found love. I love that he’s ambiguous about his sexuality, I love that he chose his words carefully but most of all I love that he did choose his words and make some kind of statement. He stood up, he’s taken a verbal or twitter beating because of it, but he made a stand.
He’s now up there with other role models for young teens who get bullied into staying firmly inside the closet for whatever reason, he may give some of them courage to make that announcement and deal with the results.
Now we come to the hate. I hate that people need to have an opinion on someone else’s sex life – funny really since I am writing this, after sharing his video several times yesterday on my own timeline. I hate haters. Why do people feel compelled to do this? Why make a comment? It seems like we all want a voice now, and Facebook and Twitter gives us a chance to be heard – but I despair at the level of hatred he’s faced for simply being honest. It’s almost damned if you do, damned if you don’t? If he’d stayed closeted and lived a secret life, an unwritten and unacknowledged open secret, then would the LGBT community hate him as much?
I find it odd that just as Stonewall is launching a campaign to get us all to examine the words we use, especial in using gay as a derogatory term, along comes the word fag – and boy did it get overused yesterday in the abusive messages Tom received. We’ve seen some high profile cases recently where online abuse has been showcased and highlighted and even prosecuted but this seems to have been forgotten! I like that some online articles have shown up these individuals, named and shamed them in articles, showing these haters for what they are. I also love that Mr. Daley did not take the bait!
Also, I was disgusted with some of our own “community” and their posts – especially the ones stating that anyone supporting Tom over a “certain age” were pedophiles? Really? I’m nearly 50, and aside from the fact that Tom is cute, has a great body and looks good in trunks, I have admiration for him and his statement – why does this mean that other gay men can label me with that title?
So, yes, there were more important stories yesterday – wars still rage, food banks are still being set up to help UK citizens eat, nature still takes its toll with storms and famine but yesterday, a 19 year old felt compelled to make a statement. He is famous, he’s a celebrity, and he beat the gutter press to their exclusives.
At the end of the day, he’s an Olympian, he’s young enough to go to the next few Olympics for us, he’s a celebrity and building a career for when his sporting career ends, and he’s found love. Lets simply celebrate that last bit and let him get on and enjoy it, can’t we?
Gareth Thomas: Tom Daley will inspire young gay people, Ex-rugby international hopes many take inspiration from Olympian’s honesty and future success.
Writing in his blog at Sportlobster openly gay former rugby star Gareth Thomas shares his thoughts of Olympian, Tom Daley’s ‘coming out’ video.
“Hopefully this will give other kids and adults the strength to be honest and take a lot of inspiration from his story,” says ex-Wales rugby international, Gareth Thomas, who announced he is gay in 2009, becoming one of the first openly homosexual male athletes in any major sports team.
“I don’t think someone coming out is enough – I think it’s his story after coming out that will inspire others. If he goes to Rio and wins the gold medal and has a fantastic life after that it will show other athletes that being honest and open is a good thing to do. Hopefully he can re-focus now and concentrate on his sport and show that being a gay athlete doesn’t define who you are.
“Tom now needs to be true to who he is and not be who anyone else wants him to be. He has a big responsibility as he is now potentially responsible for many people having the confidence to come out publically about their sexuality. His announcement will change people’s lives and make lives better. He is now a role model who has influence over thousands, maybe even millions of people so that’s a huge amount of responsibility, which I’m sure he’ll take seriously once he realises just how much influence he has.
“I came out to my family and close friends, and then two years later I came out in a newspaper. Often people ask me why I felt I had to come out, as it’s not an issue for them. We’re now in an age dominated by social media and so many people are interested in celebrities and their lifestyles outside of what they do for a living, that you have to come out publicly if you want to walk down the street hand in hand or go to a pub and drink without people talking and spreading vicious rumours. I came out in a public way because I wanted to live my life in a way that I wanted to and not be judged by people.
“I thought it was very personal the way Tom made the announcement – you’re watching on YouTube and it’s almost like he’s talking to you. I thought it was a very humbling and genuine way of doing it and I take my hat off to him. People might look at the life he is living and think it’s fantastic but he’s been through a lot. You could see in his eyes that all he really wants is to be Tom Daley the diver and not have lots of people questioning him for his sexuality.
“What Tom has done is very significant in other ways, because he’s so young and he’s fairly near the start of his career – it’s a great positive message to the world. For him to do it at such a young age is not only testament to him but to society. When I was playing it just wouldn’t have been possible to come out at his age in the rugby world. It was very much a different place then and I wouldn’t have found the acceptance that I found when I eventually did do it.
“Tom is a great diver and this is just a declaration of who he is sexually, not a declaration of who he is as a person. I’ve watched him in the Olympics and, like most of the nation, felt like I was standing on the edge of every diving board with him. I know he’s a hugely successful young lad with a great life ahead of him. I just hope that this announcement makes his life even better.
“I was never under pressure to come out and I didn’t do it because I wanted to be some kind of flag-bearer, it was just a position that I was put in. The more people that come out as being gay, the better the world is.
“The world is constantly changing and people get educated every single day. When I first started playing rugby, being openly gay and progressing at the sport wasn’t possible. Now it’s been proven that it can be done, not just in rugby but across all sports.”
Work has begun on the movie of Gareth Thomas’ life story, with Oscar-nominated Mickey Rourke, who owns the rights to the film, playing his part.
Read Gareth Thomas’ Sportlobster blog: https://sportlobster.com/news/20567/congratulations-tom-daley-why-your-announcement-is-great-for-sport.html
Tom Daley first rose to public attention at the age of 15 as part of the Team GB in the baiting Olympics. He was the public schoolboy living the dream. He was competing on an international stage and doing what he did best and staying at the top of his field. Media profile has always been pretty high due to public appearances and interviews.
Of course speculation about his sexuality has been rife. When he fronted the popular ITV show “splash” screen grabs flew around of him “checking out” one of the contestants . On Twitter, The results read like a witch-hunt and were particularly vicious.
At the time I had written an article defending Tom and have since contemplated using his name in an article about celebrity’s coming out. However I took the decision to not publish in either. As a gay man, I was unwilling to add my voice to what I perceived as an online witch-hunt of a younger man.
While I was defending him, adding my voice to an ongoing narrative seemed wrong and like I was only adding to the debate. Straight or gay everyone deserves the opportunity to come to terms with their own sexuality and their limits on their own terms. Tom has grown up in the public spot light and has been hounded by this question. For some of us, we are sure of our sexuality and proud of who we are. It’s easy to forget that some people don’t have the luxury and need to be comfortable in it before they tell people. Aside from their own comfort it’s also their right as a human being.
When you are becoming comfortable with your own sexuality, it’s neither helpful nor useful for people to be speculating or questioning you on the matter. It one thing to be able to come out to your friends and family. It’s another to have to do it on a national stage. I wonder how many of the people critising Tom online have had to come out in those circumstances?
People don’t come out for various reasons, confidence is one and guilt and shame are others. The constant questioning can often make the announcement seem bigger than it is. I notice that the online criticism is around what Tom actually said. He neither used the term Gay or Bisexual just simply confirmed that he was in a relationship with a man. He is using terms that he is comfortable, he feels safe in the relationship and this has given him the confidence to be able to come out publically.
So for all the people ready to jump in with the comments:
“This is news?”
“About time?”
“I knew all along”
“In other shocking news, water is wet”
I’m shocked at the lack of empathy being shown by the gay community, clearly coming out was so long ago that we appear to have lost touch with the frustrating and scary feelings around what can be a defining moment in any person’s life.
The news is not that Tom Daley has come out; the news is that Tom Daley is done with hiding who he is. He’s stated that he’s happy in a relationship and ends the video by talking about his next training session and hoping that people still want to follow his journey. He’s an Olympian and that’s clearly where his life is focused. Maybe it’s time to let him get on with it. Gay straight or Bi makes no different to his performance but I hope he can walk a little taller and a little more confident in himself
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
This morning Tom Daley used YouTube to reveal that he is in a relationship with another man, which has caused him to be trending on Twitter worldwide.
Celebrities such as Boy George and Lucy Spraggan have tweeted their support.
Boy George Tweeted:
“Good for you @TomDaley1994 and let that be the end of it!”
Lucy Spraggan, who recently had a Twitter battle with James Arthur over his homophobic comments, shared her love of his decision to come out and his Olympic body!: “Insane amount of love for @TomDaley1994 today, the only man I’ve ever googled imaged to admire the beauty of!”
Russell Brand also voiced his love, tweeting:
‘@TomDaley1994 Well done sunshine, dive into love.’
And Troye Sivan, who came out earlier this year wrote:
Super duper proud and happy for @TomDaley1994! Life’s infinitely better on this side of the closet.
Tom Daley is in a relationship – with a man, he revealed in a video this morning.
Hold the presses… Tom has something to say…
The Olympic diver has announced that he is happy in his new relationship – with a man – although he still ‘fancies’ girls.
Tom’s emotional video can be watched here.
The transcript of the video is here:
Hi guys, so most of you are probably wondering why I’m doing this video.
My life’s been a bit of a rollercoaster, to say the least, over the last couple of years. Losing my dad to cancer in 2011 was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. Then winning an Olympic medal last year in 2012 in front of a home crowd, finishing my A Levels this year.. it’s been hectic.
One thing I consider to be pretty important is to have some form of private life and you’re probably thinking ‘well why did you do a book and why did you do a documentary and stuff’ but I’ve only ever talked about things I feel comfortable talking about.
When I was younger I didn’t like talking about a bullying situation at school, I didn’t like talking about my dad because obviously at the time it was a sensitive subject.
It’s one of those things where in an ideal world I shouldn’t be doing this video because it shouldn’t matter but recently I was misquoted in an interview and it made me feel really angry and frustrated. You know, emotions that I’ve never felt before when reading quotes about myself.
Honesty, for me is something I really do believe in. And I’ve always been honest. I may have been vague in some of my answers, but one thing I’ve never felt that comfortable talking about are my relationships, because it is what I get asked even if I’m doing sporting interviews ‘do you have a girlfriend, who are you seeing’ all that kind of stuff.
I mean, I’ve been dating girls and I’ve never really had a serious relationship to talk about. Now I kind of feel ready to talk about relationships. Come Spring this year, my life changed, massively, when I met someone and they make me feel so happy, so safe and everything just feels great.
Well that someone is a guy. And it did take me by surprise a little bit. It was always in the back of my head that something like that could happen. But it wasn’t until spring this year that something just clicked, it felt right. And I was like: OK.
Like I said, my whole world just changed right there and then. Of course, I still fancy girls, but right now I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier. It feels safe and it just feels right.
People are going to have their own opinions and people are going to make a deal of this. Is it a big deal? I don’t think so. People are going to call me a liar, it’s going to be big, but I wanted to say something and right now I’m ready and I wanted to do it.
People will think: ‘what would your dad say?’ Well he always said: ‘if you’re happy, I’m happy’ and right now I couldn’t be happier. My mum’s been so supportive as well, I can count the number of people on my hand that I’ve told, but all my friends and family that I have told have been so supportive, which has been great.
But I told the rest of my family today and let’s just say they had mixed opinions, lots of them didn’t believe it, lots of them wanted me to keep it quiet. Some said why don’t you just do a statement, why don’t you do a magazine cover, why don’t you do a TV interview? But I didn’t want to get my words twisted, I wanted to put an end to all the rumours and just say it, to tell you guys. Because it’s what I want to do.
My friends and family are always there to support me and I hope you guys can be too. I mean I’m still Tom, I still want to win a gold medal for Great Britain in Rio in 2016. I’m still as motivated as ever to do that, and it would be great to have you guys on that journey too.
I just wanted to make sure that I got to tell you guys before I head off to Houston for a training camp I’ve got up until Christmas. I’m glad that I’ve got it off my chest.
And I hope you can join me on my journey to Rio 2016, too.
Gareth Thomas: Tom Daley will inspire young gay people, Ex-rugby international hopes many take inspiration from Olympian’s honesty and future success.
“Hopefully this will give other kids and adults the strength to be honest and take a lot of inspiration from his story,” says ex-Wales rugby international, Gareth Thomas, who announced he is gay in 2009, becoming one of the first openly homosexual male athletes in any major sports team.“I don’t think someone coming out is enough – I think it’s his story after coming out that will inspire others. If he goes to Rio and wins the gold medal and has a fantastic life after that it will show other athletes that being honest and open is a good thing to do. Hopefully he can re-focus now and concentrate on his sport and show that being a gay athlete doesn’t define who you are.“Tom now needs to be true to who he is and not be who anyone else wants him to be. He has a big responsibility as he is now potentially responsible for many people having the confidence to come out publically about their sexuality. His announcement will change people’s lives and make lives better. He is now a role model who has influence over thousands, maybe even millions of people so that’s a huge amount of responsibility, which I’m sure he’ll take seriously once he realises just how much influence he has.“I came out to my family and close friends, and then two years later I came out in a newspaper. Often people ask me why I felt I had to come out, as it’s not an issue for them. We’re now in an age dominated by social media and so many people are interested in celebrities and their lifestyles outside of what they do for a living, that you have to come out publicly if you want to walk down the street hand in hand or go to a pub and drink without people talking and spreading vicious rumours. I came out in a public way because I wanted to live my life in a way that I wanted to and not be judged by people.“I thought it was very personal the way Tom made the announcement – you’re watching on YouTube and it’s almost like he’s talking to you. I thought it was a very humbling and genuine way of doing it and I take my hat off to him. People might look at the life he is living and think it’s fantastic but he’s been through a lot. You could see in his eyes that all he really wants is to be Tom Daley the diver and not have lots of people questioning him for his sexuality.“What Tom has done is very significant in other ways, because he’s so young and he’s fairly near the start of his career – it’s a great positive message to the world. For him to do it at such a young age is not only testament to him but to society. When I was playing it just wouldn’t have been possible to come out at his age in the rugby world. It was very much a different place then and I wouldn’t have found the acceptance that I found when I eventually did do it.“Tom is a great diver and this is just a declaration of who he is sexually, not a declaration of who he is as a person. I’ve watched him in the Olympics and, like most of the nation, felt like I was standing on the edge of every diving board with him. I know he’s a hugely successful young lad with a great life ahead of him. I just hope that this announcement makes his life even better.“I was never under pressure to come out and I didn’t do it because I wanted to be some kind of flag-bearer, it was just a position that I was put in. The more people that come out as being gay, the better the world is.“The world is constantly changing and people get educated every single day. When I first started playing rugby, being openly gay and progressing at the sport wasn’t possible. Now it’s been proven that it can be done, not just in rugby but across all sports.”
Speaking to Heatworld.com the diver said:
“It’s cool, any support I appreciate.
“Everyone’s been so supportive. [The Attitude voters] are the people cheering me on during the Olympics, these are the people that give me extra motivation during training . I really appreciate it.”
He’s not just Attitude’s hottest hunk, in January Daley was voted Heat’s very own Hottest Hunk.
There you go: a talented, nice young man you can take back to your folks…
Olympic champion Tom Daley looks like he’s enjoying himself during some downtime during training sessions in Florida.
Tom who is 18, wore a pair of striped board shorts, showing off his chiselled body, whilst making the most of the break time in between training.