Ab Fab started life as a sketch on the French & Saunders show on the BBC back in 1990 and changed campy comedy forever. A year later the pilot aired and was a huge critical success. After ve series and several specials, Jennifer Saunders’ slams on to our screens with the legendary Joanna Lumley for the brand new Absolutely Fabulous film.
TGUK: Is it true that Dawn French made a bet with you that you wouldn’t finish the script for the movie on time?
JS: Oh, that was about the writing of it. We were live on radio and she said, ‘What are you doing next year?’ I said, ‘I’m going to write the Ab Fab film.’ She said, ‘Really?’ I said, ‘I’m going to write it.’ She said, ‘Alright, if you haven’t written it by the time we do the next New Year’s Day radio show, you have to pay me £10,000.’
TGUK: Did you do it?
JS: I did just about do it (laughs). I did hand her about 90 pages, though most of it just said, ‘Blah blah blah.’ But there was a sort of kernel of something.
TGUK: But did that help you finish it? Are you a deadline junkie when it comes to writing?
JS: Yeah, completely
TGUK: But you can’t improvise like that with a film. So did it feel different writing a plot for a movie version?
JS: I didn’t think I’d be able to write a 90-minute plot. A plot is the hardest thing, and a plot is the thing that makes it very different to a TV show, because a TV show is very much half and hour of pantomime, where you chuck in as many gags as you can. You don’t really need a beginning, you don’t really need an end; you just need the credits to roll at some point.
TGUK: Obvious question but in what way is it different?
JS: The thing that is totally different is the fact that you are required to make people care, because they’ve got to sit there for 90 minutes. That was the hardest thing – to make people care and give them something to look forward to all the time, looking forward to the next act or whatever happens, and some kind of story. It’s the thing that changes it from the TV show the most, too, because there’s a lot more downtime, and there’s a lot more exposition. It doesn’t feel the same as a TV show, and I think that’s the biggest difference people will notice about it, is the fact that you can’t keep that level of energy up for 90 minutes – it’s got to have moments where you discuss the plot. It’s a completely different thing, really, and also we’re at a completely different time of our lives, so it has to be about where they are now. And they’re not at the kind of height of their game; they’re actually on the decline, a little bit, but we hope it’s not going to be a sad one.
TGUK: But it’s still essentially Eddie that we know and love just that she has fallen on hard times?
JS: Yes. Edina is becoming more and more desperate and that’s sort of exhibited in the fact that the house is now enormous beyond belief. She’s drained every ex-husband of every penny they’ve ever earned and she’s still doing it, we don’t know how – some deal. But her PR business has really gone downhill – she’s got, as ever, Lulu, Emma Bunton and Queen Noor (laughs), and they’re not working that much. So this comes as a sort of massive blow to her that she needs money that she can’t take Patsy to The Wolseley. She doesn’t know what’s happening, she has to send all her Net-a-Porter back. And so she tries to get a book deal and she tries lots of different things, and obviously tries to get Kate Moss, because that would be her moneybag for the rest of her life, but it all ends sort of miserably. She thinks she’s become everything she’s tried her whole life not to become; now she’s fat and old. All she’s never wanted to do is to become fat and old and now she suddenly looks at herself and goes, ‘Here I am, fat and old.’ But it ends on a positive. It doesn’t end on a downer. It can’t ever, because they’ve always got to get away with it, and they’ve always got to have a new scheme.
TGUK: What sends them off to France?
JS: There’s an incident at a party where she pushed Kate Moss off a balcony, and she’s accused of killing Kate Moss – that little detail (laughs) – and so the paparazzi have appeared. That’s something she’s wanted all her life, to be famous. And now they’re here, all she wants is to be anonymous, and to not have them there, photographing her and hounding her like an animal. They’ve always had this dream, Patsy and Eddie; whenever they were in trouble, they’d go, ‘One day we’ll join the jet set. One day we’ll live the Martini advert. That’ll be us. We’ll have guys that drive planes and boats and wear pastel coloured cashmere jumpers around their shoulders and crocodile shoes.’ I think going to the south of France is really about retreating into that dream of luxury, which, unfortunately, sort of doesn’t exist. I mean, it does, but it’s all a bit tacky now. There isn’t a sort of beautiful lovely jet set, there isn’t a sort of Ava Gardner- esque thing about anything anymore. Everything is heavy disco euro-trash music and obscene money, and so everything they’re looking for doesn’t quite exist. They sort of retreat into the past a little bit.
TGUK: You first wrote Ab Fab back in the early 1990s but they’re very resilient characters. In your industry, you must meet them all time?
JS: All the time! They’re still going on. I keep thinking, ‘Surely there’s other ways of doing PR,’ but it’s still the same. Honestly, it’s quite extraordinary. The other day I got a really unusual massive invitation to some party and I thought, ‘I thought those days were gone.’ I thought everything was done by the Internet now. But still this ridiculous thing came, like a Rubik’s cube, an invite to some fashion show, and you just go, ‘I can’t believe it’s still happening.’ I suppose as long as there’s products, there’s going to be PR.
TGUK: Would you go on a night out with Edina and Patsy?
JS: I think they’d be horrible. They’re so into each other, in a way, and into their own little world. I don’t know how much actual fun they’d be. I’d be them going out for a night – that would be much more fun. To be Edina and Patsy going out for a night would just be fantastic.
TGUK: You’ve never done that?
JS: No, no, no, never. But I think to actually be with them on a night out would be ghastly! It would be ghastly, because someone at some point would have to go, ‘Now, stop, come on, that’s not a good idea.’ You’d be the person having to say, ‘Just get in a cab and go home.’ ‘No, we’re going to party on! We’re going somewhere else. We’re going to have a great time. She loves me.’ They think the world loves them when they’re drunk, and I think generally people see them coming and go, ‘Oh Christ.’ But that’s as it should be (laughs).
Meet the incredibly handsome guys from Il Volo… Always beautifully suited and booted the guys have a new album about to drop so we thought we’d catch up with them to find out what turns them on style wise.
Downtown(going out casual): Matchless, Nike, Diesel.
Favorite Drink: Bellini.
Favorite Restaurant: Zuma.
Favorite place to go on a first date: Dinner, then a beach, under the stars.
Favorite Travel Destination: Maldives.
Favorite Book:The Little Prince, Harry Potter.
TV Show:Arrow, Dexter and of course The Late Late Show.
Three Top Songs On My Playlist: “Cant Buy Me Love”, “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and “Nessun Dorma”.
Favorite Gadget: My phone!!!
Quote to live by: The universe is the limit!
Finish this sentence: “Someone once told me….”you’ll become a Famous singer
Il Volo’s newest album Notte Magica :A Tribute To The Three Tenors is out on 30th September. Buy now on Amazon.
A tribute to The Three Tenors, out September 30th. It’s an album paying homage to one of classical music’s most recognisable names, The Three Tenors (José Carreras, Placido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti). The record is beautiful – a live recorded taken from their perform at Florence’s Sante Croce, earlier this summer. Placido Domingo, one of the original tenors also features on one of the songs, as well as conducting the orchestra on 8 songs.
Meet Tom Bosworth, the UK’s newest out and proud athlete training to take part in this summer’s Rio Olympics. You may never have heard of Race Walking (walking very fast, where at least one of your feet must be in contact with the ground at all times) before but he is determined to ensure that he and his sport is widely recognised this summer. He took the brave move to come out as gay on Victoria Derbyshire’s flagship BBC news show. Speaking exclusively to THEGAYUK Tom talked to us before he left for Rio about his plans to ask the man he loves to marry him, how he battled homophobia in school and we find out if his legs are insured for the same amount as Mariah Carey’s.
CREDIT: Monty McKinnen for THEGAYUK
JH: How is training going?
TB: Well, I’m in a fairly heavy block of work at the moment. That’s basically lot’s of mileage. Talking something like 120km, 140km a week. That sort of thing. Pretty much every day. Sometimes, not every Sunday but I have Sundays off occasionally.
JH: Are you like Mariah Carey? Are your legs ensured for like 7 million quid or something ridiculous?
TB: I’ve never been linked to Mariah before but… No. They’re not. We have considered it but at the moment they are not insured. A bit risky.
JH: You came out on Victoria Derbyshire’s show in October last year. How was that received with your co-workers, with your colleagues on the track? Did it come as a shock for anybody or did they all know?
TB: Within my inner circle, anybody who kind of knew me personally was aware and it wouldn’t have been a surprise to them. It was a public announcement more than anything and so a few people were shocked to see me on TV. I had such great support in my training team, family, friends, partner, you know, so I was happy in my personal life and able to get that weight off my shoulders really.
JH: Has it been a weight off your shoulders?
TB: You know, I kind of didn’t expect it to make that much of a difference. I definitely didn’t expected the fabulous kind of response and the 15 minutes of fame, if you like, that came from it. I didn’t expect that whatsoever. I realise that it’s quite a responsibility but I’ve had the best season of my life. I’ve set records and won races and won international races and it’s just been amazing. I’ve got to put that partly down to that. Perhaps it did have a subconscious effect.
JH: Were you nervous before speaking with Victoria?
TB: Of course, I didn’t know how it was going to be taken and suddenly, when I was down in the studios in London that day I realised how real this was. The way they did the story was fantastic, with absolute respect. They didn’t make it anything it wasn’t. It was just a message of me being honest and publicly honest and that was nice. Yeah. It was suddenly like this could possibly change my life forever and in some ways it has.
JH: Why was it important for you to come out like on TV? Not many people get to come out on TV nowadays now do they? Why was it important for you to do that?
TB: It wasn’t a decision we took lightly. It was a lot of planning and talking with my family, partner and most importantly my managers. We wanted it to be done correctly. I wanted to find something that pretty much was as unbiased as possible and Victoria’s show is very neutral. It tries to cover every type of story going.
She never comes from any angle to try to trip you up or anything like that. It’s not the aim of the show whatsoever. My manager had other clients on the show as well, and only had good things to say about them. I said ‘okay, this wasn’t what I was planning. National television on a breakfast news show but okay if they want to run this story, let’s do it at the end of the season when there’s no pressure of competing and move on’.
JH: Obviously, it made quite a bit of a splash. I know you must have been asked this a million times, will there be a day when a sport-star’s sexuality isn’t news?
TB: Sports is still behind on it but there will be a day. Other industries have somehow managed to not make it a big thing. In sport, it still is news and that’s just because there aren’t many out players or athletes. As soon as that starts to change, which it is – every year a few more come out and it becomes less and less and less of a story. That’s kind of going to take time and we just have to be patient with that.
JH: Does it surprise you out of the thousands of athletes taking part in the Olympic games that there’s still only a handful of out, visible gay sport-stars?
TB: It doesn’t, because sport is such a macho, strong, have- your-guard-up-environment and I guess a lot of people see it as a weakness or something like that. That’s the image I kind of get. I’ve never felt like that myself because I’ve always been so open. Nine out of ten people have always embraced it and let me be me. We’re in 2016 and thankfully we do have a handful of athletes that are open at the Olympic games.
In a way we almost need to look at it like that, that in four years’ time we can look back and laugh and say, “Oh, there’s only ten open athletes at the Olympic games. Actually, four years prior in London or eight years prior in Beijing, there was only one or there were none.” Actually, that number is increasing and again it will come around probably in four years’ time and they’ll say, “Oh, there’s only 25 athletes that are open.”
It’s all about giving it time. I think that we need to just let those athletes that are out to show how normal a life they can live being an athlete and that’s, at the end of the day, what they’re trying to be. The best athlete that they can be, it doesn’t matter about the sexuality or background, religion, whatever.
JH: Along with Tom Daley, I mean, two Toms, it couldn’t be better could it really? You’re the most visible, out people right now. Does that add pressure?
TB: Not at all. It’s kind of something that I’ve learned to respect because there’s that kind of responsibility that falls on my shoulders. It adds no pressure whatsoever. It’s just nice, actually… I’ve got this new fan-base and new support. I always have everyday messages and just people always sending me support on social media now, which I never used to have.
JH: Have you spoken to the other Tom, since your coming out. Has there been like a little club?
TB: No, no. I haven’t felt the need to. I haven’t spoken to any other athlete that are gay or straight about it. I didn’t feel the need to because of the support that I had and I felt like it wasn’t going to change too much in my day-to-day life or competing for the national team. That just shows how accepting the sports world can be because absolutely nothing changed. I think that speaks volumes really.
JH: Talking about your teammates, how did they react when you told them?
TB: That’s interesting. Everybody’s different really. No teammate on the national team or my training group has ever reacted negatively. Anybody comes into the training group nowadays obviously is aware. It’s just that that typical word, ‘normal’, whatever normal is. Nobody cares. I don’t care that you’re straight and they don’t care that I’m gay. It’s brilliant.
JH: When we talk about sexuality, especially in sports, I feel like sometimes we’ve gone back 20 years. Does it feel weird that your sexuality comes a bit before your own sporting achievements now?
TB: Yes. That’s my own fault I guess. I didn’t want it to define me and I didn’t want it to be the only thing that got me on television. I felt even more pressure to actually achieve and show that I wasn’t just trying to look for a claim to fame. That was quite the opposite of what I was claiming and the whole point of it. It was to hopefully allow me to be the best athlete I could be and show the world that I could be really successful and also live openly. I think in some way, of course, now it always is going to be mentioned throughout my career. Now I can be classed as an Olympian as well, most for British record holder and hopefully some international medals to come as well. There’s lots to me than just that.
CREDIT: Monty Mckinnen
JH: Has coming out so publicly allowed you to focus more on your training because there’s less of a distraction and you can live more honestly.
TB: I think it’s the latter. I live without any worry whatsoever. On social media, I absolutely adore social media. Sometimes, everybody, especially in an Olympic year wants to know everything about you. I always had that worry that it would have to be something I would have to deal with. I never saw it as it was going to be a negative thing. As we’ve seen it is a story still and I didn’t want to deal with that right now. That’s why we did it in September, not seven weeks before the Olympic games.
It definitely allowed me to be proud about me and my partner and to speak freely and not to have anything on social media or hugging him after a race or anything like that.
JH: Oh, that would be nice. Are you going to do that? Is he going to be in Rio with you?
TB: He is going to be travelling out to Rio. If Tiffany’s in Heathrow has the ring that I want, I might even make it official when I’m out there.
JH: Make him an honest man?
TB: Absolutely.
JH: How did coming out with your family go? Have they always kind of known? Did they receive it well?
TB: Part of me hoped that they knew. You know my parents are very old-school and so I always knew it was going to be something that we’d have to deal with together. My family always supported me even if they disagreed with some of my life choices over the years. They’ve always supported me and backed me. I knew no matter how difficult or easy the coming out to my family would be, eventually they would always have my back and understand and support me, that’s exactly where we are today. I was 21 when I decided to tell them. I spoke to my dad and he was very understanding. I live in Leeds and they live in Kent.
I’m sure they took some time, a few weeks probably to process it. I don’t know how he privately dealt with it but to me, he never batted an eyelid and was just, “okay. That’s fine. Have you found somebody who you love and care for?” That was the main reason for doing it because I had found that kind of person.
My mum took a little bit longer but she never tried to fight it or tell me that I need to change in any way whatsoever. She just took a bit longer to process it.
CREDIT: Monty McKinnen / THEGAYUK
JH: Did you do it over the phone then?
TB: I did, yes. I did because I didn’t think I would have the guts to do it to their face.
JH: Oh gosh. I thought it’d be more nerve-wracking doing it over the phone. Did you dial the number many times and then hang up?
TB: No. I just kind of got to that point where I was like, “Right. It needs to happen and so let’s not beat around the bush anymore.”
JH: Were you with your partner at the time?
TB: I wanted to bring him home for Christmas and things like that. I think actually for my Mum it gave her some time and gave her some space to just process it and try and understand it all. Actually me being a bit of a wimp helped the situation I think and meant now we’re all a kind of a happy family. He’s going out with them to Rio as one family which is really lovely.
JH: Okay. Where did you meet him? Is there a cute story behind it? Please tell me there is.
TB: I met him in York, so a very romantic city. He’s from Liverpool. He was the best man on a stag do.
Me and a couple of my friends, we were just out for a very quiet, sociable drink sort of think and we weren’t planning on having a night out or anything along the lines of getting with anyone, that’s for sure. My female friend decided to hit on him. She quite liked the look of him. She didn’t notice or she just chose to ignore the big love-heart straw he had in his drink and his quite flamboyant nature. Me and my other friend were sat there trying not to laugh as we quite clearly could see that he perhaps didn’t bat for that team (laughs).
She got very offended when he said, “You’re not my type.”
He was trying to be polite. She couldn’t understand why and it was at that point that I walked up to my friend and said, “I think he’s probably more my type, than your type.” We got talking from there. The rest is history.
JH: Aw. One woman’s loss is another man’s gain. That’s the way it goes I guess. Do you live together?
TB: No, but we plan to. We’ve planned to live together for a while now, but not until the Olympic games are out of the way.
JH: Were you out at school?
TB: I was kind of half out at school, you know, a few of my friends knew. I spoke to them at quite a young age, probably about 14 or so. It got leaked. One of my friends wasn’t too tactful, I’m afraid. I decided to deal with it head on and not just deny it and admit it because I knew one day that I would just have to admit it again anyway. That certainly put me off speaking to my parents about it or anything like that because teenagers and kids, you know, they can be nasty, whatever it is. Had a bit of trouble at school and suffered quite a bit of bullying for a long period of time. I guess for about a year, it was just non-stop. It meant I spent a lot of time on my own and kind of hiding from people but I stand by it now. I don’t hold anything against anybody. Everybody’s looking for a weakness in somebody else at that age because they’ve got their own concerns about themselves. It certainly made me stronger and it made me a better person I think.
JH: Did you have athletic dreams when you were at school. Where did your athleticism come to you?
TB: For that reason really, because some people found out that I was gay at school. I hated, hated PE and always tried to get out of it. Never did any sport in school because it was a very easy time to be targeted by bullies and so that was something I avoided greatly. The good thing was my parents took me to a number of sports clubs outside of school because I liked doing sport, I liked being active, I had a lot of energy so I’m really glad they did that. I did some running and tried the race walking. My sister did it a little bit. I just kept doing it and I wasn’t any good at anything, the running or the race walking… Just purely doing it for fun and keeping fit and it was a different world from school. I could just be myself and nobody knew much about me, I just made some friends and almost felt like I had another life, an escape route really from school. I loved going training. I guess that enjoyment is why I did it for so long. Then it helps when you start winning.
JH: Just going back to begin Olympian and begin gay or LGBT. Do you think that there’s a pressure on gay people to remain in the closet? If there is, who is it by? Is it themselves? Is it managers, sponsors?
TB: I hope to God there isn’t any pressure. In today’s world, I don’t think any sponsors or anybody like that could get away with saying, “Look. If you’re going to come out, then we’re going to cut ties with you.” I don’t think anybody could get away with that nowadays.
People might not be as lucky as I am in this situation where my family knows and support me. I’ve got a loving partner who has been with me for a long, long time. They might be single, they might not have told their family and so on and so coming out in public wouldn’t be possible, or even just living openly, let alone announcing it, just wouldn’t be possible.
I’m sure there are some places in the world where if you were to come out, you may not be able to continue on.
JH: Is it odd to be in an arena where for instance, in the UK being LGBT is very accepted and we champion everybody in our Olympics that there will be other gay people from other countries where homosexuality is illegal or societally unacceptable?
TB: It’s a sad one because I’ve got so many friends from places that being LGBT is not accepted and I thought, “Oh. I’m really good friends with them but if I tell them, or when they find out, are they going to no longer be my friend?” Thankfully that hasn’t happened once which shows how every human being can be understanding and accepting, it’s just a very small handful that force these ideas upon people. I spoke, again, to some other athletes who I’m not specifically friends with, but I was at a competition and they were talking to me and I told them that I had a male partner and they were from a country again where it’s pretty much not accepted to be out. They said, “We don’t care. It doesn’t matter. In our country, it will never be accepted.” Personally, they just said, “I don’t care.” We carried on talking.
JH: Are there Olympians, people taking part, that you know of who can’t come out?
TB: It’s too big for there just to be a handful of gay athletes, you know. I believe there has to be. The numbers can’t lie like that. A few people outside the sport, have opened up to me which has been very touching and I’m honoured that I could help them in any way.
I believe there will be and as I said earlier it’s just about time and patience. I never expect anybody to do what I did because that’s a very in your face way to come out on television. I was happy to do that and put it out there but I just love to see people live openly. That’s kind of my main aim.
This interview was taken from Issue 21. Download now for Free or Subscribe to never miss another issue.
On the 12th June, the lives of countless people changed forever as a lone gunman walked into a gay bar in Orlando and shot 49 people dead and injured 53 more. It was the deadliest mass shooting by a single gunman in America’s history and it was the worst atrocity visited upon the LGBT community this century.
For days after I couldn’t bring myself to read about the tragic events. Like many of you reading this, I have been in a gay club at last orders and when the fluorescent house lights blast on to send us, drunkenly blinking into the early morning on our merry way home. To imagine the horrifying scenes unfolding was, and is still, just too much to bear.
I was in the US when the attack happened. I was enjoying a gay street festival in one of Chicago’s gay-friendly neighbourhoods. There was laughter, there was joy and there was a real community spirit. Despite hardly knowing anyone at the festival, I was made to feel welcome, I was quickly made to feel part of ‘the club’. I imagine this to be the spirit that was in Pulse that night. That joy will be now forever tinged with sorrow and fear. As a friend so eloquently put it to me, just hours after the attacks, “f***ers… now they’ve taken away the only safe spaces we have.”
Some in the media were hesitant in calling this a homophobic attack, but make no mistake it was a heinous homophobic attack. Right at the centre of the gay community. Gay bars and clubs have long been the heart of the community. Their history is undeniable. They bring people together, they are often the first place we feel able to be ourselves. Sure they can be the home of drama but they are always full of laughs, loves and the birthplace of our political movement.
The gunman specifically went there to kill members of the LGBT community.
Whatever the gunman’s motives; hatred of gay people, terrorism or internalised homophobia, his target was a safe space for LGBT people and their allies.
Many of us felt that it was coming. An attack event against LGBTs was, you could argue, just a matter of time. The violence in Orlando had horrifying echoes of the terror attack in Paris last November. In fact after the attack on the Bataclan, which was chosen by the terrorists because it was where “hundreds of idolaters were together in a party of perversity”, I asked gay club and bar owners across London what their response to threat would be.
Sadly no answers were forthcoming.
So we have to keep our eyes and ears open and we must remain alert. We have to ensure our safe spaces remain open – wide open. We can’t let hate close us down. We can’t let hate shut our doors. Those 49 brothers, sisters, children, lovers and friends whose lives were brutally cut short will be forever etched in our hearts. They, like all victims of homophobic, biphobic and transphobic abuse will become one more link in our chain, one more stepping stone on our journey and one more reason to fight for equality and freedom across the world.
This is taken from Issue 21 of THEGAYUK – download now for free or subscribe to never miss another issue.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
National treasure Cheryl Baker talks to us about sunbeds in the 80s, doing Poppers for the first time and why Madonna should have used Velcro just like Bucks Fizz.
PR Supplied
JH: Let’s face it, Bucks Fizz has had more line up changes than Sugababes, there’s been 16 at last count! What’s happening?
CB: Well, you know what is crazy is those 16 changes can still call themselves Bucks Fizz. It’s not even Bobby G who owns the name, and he was one of the original members. It’s his wife, and she was 11 when we ran the European Song Contest. The law is the law, but it needs to change because it’s very unfair. You can’t say something is black and white. We go onstage, we are, as far as the audience is concerned, Bucks Fizz.
JH: Ooo errr. So are people like adopts Nikki Grahame style stance WHO IS SHE????
CB: She owns the name. It’s just… it’s wrong. The law is a mess, as they said in ‘Oliver Twist.’
JH: Don’t you want to change the letters around. There’s a kind of an “up yours.”
CB: What’s that called, a spoonerism?
JH: We’ve spoken before about what makes a great gay icon and you said that you had lots of lovely gay fans who called you Dame. We were thinking about it; wouldn’t you rather be a Lady? Lady Cheryl.
CB: They don’t call me Lady. They call me Dame. Everybody does. Gay or not gay, everybody calls me Dame Cheryl.
JH: How did that start, do you know?
CB: I have no idea! I’ve absolutely no idea. It certainly wasn’t because I asked for it.
JH: But you wouldn’t turn down a Damehood right?
CB: I’d like anything.
JH: Let’s keep it real! So Eurovision… Are we doomed forever?
CB: The one thing that really stands out is the camaraderie and the fact that everyone there is rooting for everyone. If Israel is on stage, you still see Greek flags and Spanish flags. They’re all just there because it’s such a joyous occasion. It just unites everybody.
JH: It seems as though it could be getting even bigger because obviously, we’ve got Australia performing in it now, and they’re broadcasting for the first time in the States. What’d you reckon if the States got involved? Could we have Worldvision?
CB: I think it’s long overdue to be perfectly honest. I mean, it is already the biggest musical event in the world. There is nothing bigger. So, yes, America… I should think they’re broadcasting it because they think, “Hang on, I think I see a trick here.”
JH: Globalvision?
CB: Yeah. Globalvision. That’s a good name.
JH: Just imagine the politics! We think it’s bad now. What happens when North Korea gets involved?
CB: Or maybe one day, there’ll be an Intergalacticalvision.
JH: Are you a fan of drag?
CB: Yes.
JH: Do you know what your drag name is?
CB: No. Do I have one?
JH: Okay, well I’ve got a little machine here that does it. I’ve put in your name, so we’ve got Cheryl Baker, and then what was the name of your first pet?
CB: Oh I see. Okay. It was a bird. It was a budgie called Billie.
JH: Now you’ve got to pick a favourite karaoke power ballad. There are seven choices. We’ve got: “Believe” by Cher, “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross, “It’s Raining Men,” “R.E.S.P.E.C.T.”, “Vogue,” “I Will Survive,” or “I Want to Dance With Somebody.”
CB: Oh, it’s gotta be Aretha.
JH: Oh god, love that. Right, so then you press the button called “Queen Me,” and your drag name is, I think we might actually get trademark on this, is “Venus Galore”, and it tells you what you’re famous for. You’re famous for giving gorgeous face. What’d you reckon?
CB: I think that’s me to a T! I’m changing my name.
JH: Speaking about a gorgeous face? Your Wikipedia page says you’re 62…
CB: It’s nothing I’m ashamed of.
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JH: You’re looking fabulous for it. What’s the key?
CB: Nothing. There’s no key. I don’t do anything. I don’t ever use soap and haven’t done since I can remember, on my face but who does? I moisturise well. I buy everything that says, “Good for baggy skin.” That’s about it. I don’t do anything else. I certainly don’t have any treatments done. I mean, my Mum had good skin, and the one thing that I probably do, I am aware of, is the sun. I don’t sunbathe. I know the sun is very aging to your skin.
JH: Yeah, but that’s kind of a recent development in skincare. In the 80s, it was all like tan beds wasn’t it?
CB: I had a tanning bed.
JH: Did you use it often?
CB: Yeah. Of course, when I was young. You’d put olive oil on your skin and lemon juice. I mean, you literally put French dressing on your body to tan. I used to think, and most people of my age used to think, ‘what you need to do is burn the first layer off so it all peels off’, and then you get a really nice colour underneath. I mean, it’s ridiculous. How I’m left with any skin at all. I don’t know.
JH: Okay. We’ve got a Marry, Snog, and Avoid situation here.
a) Katie Hopkins,
b) Katie Price,
c) Katy Perry.
CB: I’m marrying Katy Perry.
JH: Are you going to snog Katie Price?
CB: Yes.
JH: And avoiding Katie Hopkins?
CB: Avoid, of course. Yeah.
JH: Not a fan, then?
CB: No. No. I wouldn’t really like to snog Katie Price to be honest. How about just marry and avoid and avoid.
JH: Do you know what amyl nitrate is?
CB: Yes, I do.
JH: Have you ever done it?
CB: Once.
JH: What happened?
CB: I thought my head was going to explode. Mike Nolan gave it to me. We were sitting at a table in Germany with our record company, our German record company, and he said, “Drop your napkin on the floor, and let me go under the table. I’ll give it to you and then you sniff it, a real good sniff.” I was like, “What is it?” He said, “You’ll love it. It’s really good.” So I did, and I really sniffed in deep. I thought, “Oh god, my head’s going to explode!” Then, he put it back in his pocket, got in a taxi, and didn’t screw the lid on properly!! That was my one and only time.
JH: Are you a fan of Cher?
CB: Um, there’s people I admire. I won’t say I’m a fan. I do really admire her like I admire Kylie and Madonna, but I’m not a fan. I think that what they’ve done with their career is superb. I am a fan of her acting. I think she’s a brilliant actress, but I’m not much of a fan of her voice, and the way she’s kept her figure and her face… although it’s changed shape over the years.
JH: She’s had a bit of work done. I don’t know if she’s actually fessed up to that…
CB: Oh, she’s had loads done. Didn’t she have a bum lift? She’s had all sorts done.
JH: Would you have your bum lifted?
CB: If you saw my bum, you’d know the answer to that.
JH: What songs should go into Room 101?
CB: Songs like “The Birdy Song” and “Mr. Blobby” I hate novelty songs. All novelty songs.
JH: And what moment of Rock and Rock history should go into Room 101? 1) Madonna’s cape; 2) Miley’s tongue; 3) Kanye West’s stage invasion.
CB: Oh, Kanye West. (But Madonna’s) cape was unfortunate. What she needed, she needed Velcro. She needed a rip-off skirt moment.
JH: You’ve got your very own Velcro moment, probably one of the most famous Eurovision moments of all time – where did it come from?
CB: It came by chance. It’s because we wanted… I wanted a long skirt because I’ve got footballer’s thighs, and Jay wanted a short skirt. Because she’s tiny and always been tiny. We were having this discussion about the outfits, the colour, the style, and length of our skirts. I was exasperated in the end, and I said, “You know what, let’s have both.” The choreographer said, “Well that’s it! If you want to see some more, we rip the skirt off and the short one’s underneath.” Without it, we wouldn’t have won.
It opened the floodgates, ‘the Eurovision Gimmick Contest’.
Cheryl, Mike and Jay, formerly of Bucks Fizz, will be performing dates in August, September and October across the UK. Visit: www.formerlyofbucksfizz.co.uk
This interview was taken from Issue 21 of THEGAYUK – download for free today.
