THEGAYUK

Author: Jake And Jenna from 56 Dean Street

  • DILEMMA | Do I Masturbate Too Much?

    DILEMMA | Do I Masturbate Too Much?

    A reader asks whether he playing with himself too much.

    Hi! I’m a 22-year-old and I’ve been really worried about something.

    A couple of months ago I attended some acupuncture sessions at college because I was recommended that I should do something about the pretty stressed life I was having. It turns out they use some Chinese method and it surprised me when one of the therapists told me that I had to stop masturbating.

    I can’t tell how on earth she did to figure that out, but from that moment on I started to feel that was serious. She told me it was necessary for me to stop because of something I didn’t get, something about one’s energy and stuff. Even though I didn’t understand her arguments, I had already had this feeling that perhaps I was “waxing my dolphin” too much. The thing is, I can’t help it.

    I’ve been trying to stop, but there always comes a moment when I just need to do it (I can do it twice a night). Sometimes I just can’t sleep at night and the only thing that makes me sleepy is self-pleasure. Is it that I’m becoming addicted to it? Is it wrong for my body, for my virility?

    Somehow I agreed with the therapist who told me to stop because she mentioned energy. When I masturbate I do feel nice, but I don’t feel as energetic as I feel I was a couple of years ago. I’m really worried; I no longer get the powerful boners that used to wake me up a couple of years ago.

    Is there any limit when it comes to masturbation? By the way, I have no boyfriend. My life is pretty busy. Thanks for giving me some advice.

    Jason, 22

    Hello Jason

    I think we should start by saying that masturbation is perfectly normal and almost everyone has had a go at some point. How often you decide to “wax your dolphin” is completely up to you and you shouldn’t feel you need to try and stop. There isn’t a limit to how frequently you masturbate, other than how often you feel like doing it or want to do it.

    If it feels right and you’re not hurting anyone else, why deny yourself. FILE PHOTO: © ia__64 Depositphotos

    There isn’t a limit to how frequently you masturbate, other than how often you feel like doing it or want to do it.

    Some of the problems you’re describing such as a lack of energy and no longer getting strong erections that wake you up could be related to the stress that led to you go for acupuncture in the first place. Overall there are no adverse affects from masturbating and if it’s something you enjoy then I think you should go for it.

    Jenna and Jake

    Got a problem you’d like advice on? Click here to speak to us

    This article was first published in December 2012.

  • Can condoms protect from every sexually transmitted disease?

    Can condoms protect from every sexually transmitted disease?

    How successful are condoms at protecting against sexually transmitted infections?

    Bru-nO / Pixabay

    Can condoms protect you from every sexually transmitted disease? A reader asks the experts at one of the UK’s busiest sexual health clinics, 56 Dean Street.

    Dear TGUK

    Everyone says that If you want safer sex, you have to use a condom. But can it prevent all diseases?
    Best Jimmie

    kerryank / Pixabay

    Dear Jimmie

    Having safer sex means having sex which has less risk of catching or passing on an STI.

    Using a condom is the best way to do this, however, it doesn’t completely prevent you from catching an STI. Lots of things can affect how likely you are to catch an STI such as a condom slipping or breaking during sex and contact during foreplay such as rubbing, masturbating each other and oral sex. A few things that can help are ensuring a condom is used from start to finish during penetration, using latex condom friendly lubricant (such as water or silicone based) and regular screening for STIs.

    Do not use Vaseline or oil-based lubricants. You can walk in for an HIV test and Hepatitis B vaccines any time at 56 Dean Street and can make an appointment for a full screen. However, if you are under the age of 20 you can walk into the clinic at any time for a full screen. There is also a dedicated service for young people which runs Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening, details of this can be found on the website.

    Even if you do everything right accidents can happen so it’s good to know about PEP, this is a course of medication you may be able to take if you have been at high risk of HIV. You can also walk into the clinic to discuss PEP with a member of staff.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like our team of specialist to help you with? Click here.

  • I have slept with hundreds of guys, I’m worried I’m addicted to sex

    I have slept with hundreds of guys, I’m worried I’m addicted to sex

    Am I Addicted To Unprotected Sex?

    Dear 56DS and TGUK

    I’m in my mid 20s and I’m a bit of sex lover. I’ve probably been with over 700 guys in the last 2 years, which makes my friends laugh, but I think I’m a bit addicted to it.

    Some of the sex has been whilst drunk or on drugs (never needles) and I can’t be certain that it’s always been protected sex.

    I am around 80% the top in these shags. So I’ve been told that the likelihood is that I’m fine, but just wondering.

    I’ve had a few STDs and had those cleared up but I’m feeling a little bit worried as I always do this time of year with WorldAIDS Day coming up…

    I have been to the clinic, but not this year.

     

    Hi there;
    Thanks for your question.

    Being top may be less risky than being the bottom, but there is still a risk, and guys who only top still get HIV. This is because of HIV can also be found in mucosal secretions inside someone’s bum. Using condoms will protect you against HIV and most STIs regardless of how many partners you have. However, it’s possible that condoms break, or you can get STIs including HIV through oral sex, although getting HIV through oral sex is rare.

    Some people say that taking drugs including alcohol makes them more relaxed and more likely to take risks. Sometimes when people get caught in the moment they may feel invincible and forget to do the things they normally would to protect their health. It’s really important that you keep control by using condoms and getting yourself checked regularly for sexually transmitted infections. This should be for all STIs not just HIV.

    If you do have HIV finding out can save your life (if you have had it for many years) or add years to your life. HIV is now a manageable health condition and life expectancy may be almost the same if diagnosed early and you start treatment at the right time. It’s better to know as you can take control of your own health and protect your partners.

    It sounds like you may want to visit our CODE clinic, a walk-in service between 5-7pm on Tuesdays for gay men who use drugs during sex. The team are super friendly, non-judgemental and there to help you. They can advise you on drug taking, help you to reduce or stop and explain more about risks of STIs. Also, they know a lot about the harder sex scene, if that happens to be your thing.

    In terms of the number of partners, it’s really important that you are having a healthy, enjoyable sex life which is not harmful to your mental or physical health.

    If you’re worried that you may have sex addiction then help is available. There is an online screening tool at www.sexhelp.com which is free. It will give you a score and explain what that means. There are also lots of resources on the www.sexaddictionhelp.co.uk and www.recoverynation.com websites. We provide support at 56 Dean Street and if you visited the clinic with an appointment with a health advisor we could refer you to this service.

    Hope that helps;

    Jenna and Jake.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

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  • ADVICE | Can I get HIV from oral sex?

    ADVICE | Can I get HIV from oral sex?

    A reader asks our sexual health experts on how easy it is to get HIV from unprotected oral sex.

    can you get HIV from oral sex
    BIGSTOCK

    Dear TGUK
    Me and a former boyfriend had partial sex several months ago. We performed hand jobs on one another and he gave me a blowjob. The blowjob wasn’t long (only four sucks) and I didn’t cum. However, as a hypochondriac, I’m concerned about HIV. Prior to sex, I asked him if he had sex before. He had sex only once in the past and it was only mutual masturbation and fellatio. My parents won’t let me take a test because it would worsen my health anxiety. But should I be worried?

    Joe 16,

    Hello Joe

    Thank you for writing to us with your worries, it sounds as though you had a very low-risk encounter with your ex. Oral sex is considered a low-risk activity for catching HIV, especially if you’re on the receiving end of the BJ. However, it’s not just HIV that you have to consider here. Other nasties like Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea can be passed on by both receiver and giver, and might not even show symptoms, however, all these infections can be treated effectively if caught soon enough.

    If you are worried you should make an appointment to go to a clinic, or just pop along to a walk-in clinic. There are some amazing services – and now, there’s even an online clinic called S24, where you can take tests at home and have the results sent to your mobile phone, Google it.

    If your parents are standing in your way of getting a health check maybe you need to have a conversation with them about your worries, however at 16 you can go to a clinic by yourself you have the right to be treated confidentially.

    Hand-jobs and mutual masturbation are very safe activities, as long as you keep bodily fluids such as semen away from open cuts or sores. If you’re worried in future you can use condoms during oral, and there are even flavoured ones to try.

    Visiting a sex health clinic is an important part of life, taking responsibility for your health and for others you’re having sex with. Making regular visits every six months to once a year is suggested if you’re sexually active.

    So don’t delay and more importantly try not to worry yourself too much.

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online? Click here to buy one (AMAZON)

    ** Advice given here is for guidance only. You should always seek to obtain your own medical advice from your own GP or doctor **

    Got a problem you’d like advice on? Use the form below to get in touch

  • ADVICE | Will They Stick Things Down My Pee Hole?

    This week a reader is considering going to his first sexual health check up and is concerned they’ll put something down his urethra.

    Will They Stick Things Down My Pee Hole?

    Dear Team

    I’m thinking about going for a check up but I’m worried about things being stuck down my dick, I’ve heard that sometimes you use like an umbrella type device to check for infections… Is that right?

    John

     

    Dear John,
    Thanks for your question. The good news is that you won’t find the umbrella swab in a sexual health clinic…
    If you have no symptoms it’s just a urine test (throat and rectal swabs also for gay men). If you have symptoms we may need to take a tiny swab for the urethra.

    This isn’t painful just uncomfortable. But if you’ve got no symptoms then we just need a sample of pee.
    The staff are super friendly too so if there is anything you don’t want or are worried about just say.

    Jake + Jenna from 56 Dean Street

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I Have Found Lumps And Bumps On My Balls

    This week a reader is worried about some lumps and bumps he’s found on his testicles.

    I Have Found Lumps And Bumps On My Balls

    DEAR TGUK,

    I have a cyst on my testicle, I’ve had it a couple of years, it doesn’t really bother me much, should I do anything about it?

    Pat, Manchester

     

    If you have had the lump on your testicle checked and have been told it is a cyst, then as long as it doesn’t change you do not need to do anything. Often if a lump is found a doctor will order an ultrasound scan to confirm it is just a cyst. The tubes which are attached to your testicles can feel lumpy or a bit like spaghetti and this is usually normal, but if in doubt get it checked.

    If you are unsure it is definitely worthwhile visiting your GP or a sexual health clinic. Men should check their testicles once a month (ideally after a bath or shower) rotate them between your index finger and thumb to feel the surface to check there aren’t any new lumps. If you do this you will get to know them well. If anything changes you are then more likely to spot it quickly.

    Here’s a great video on how to check;

    For any lumps and bumps on your genitals which you are concerned about, just book in or if you can walk-in to a sexual health clinic. Try not to feel embarrassed as lumps and bumps are very common and the staff are experienced and used to seeing many people with similar problems each day.

     

    by Jake and Jenna at 56 Dean Street

     

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | Why Does My Foreskin Smell?

    This month a reader is concerned with a smell coming from under his foreskin. Our experts answer his question.

    Why Does My Foreskin Smell?

    Dear TGUK
    Inside my foreskin. I keep getting a smell from it. Once in the past I was given a cream to sort an area out and it’s that where the smell is coming from.
    G, 33

    Hello G

    Thank you for your message. Nobody likes a stinky pinky, so hopefully we can get this sorted for you.

    Smells coming from the foreskin are usually created by bacteria. The penis is a fantastic incubation ground for all sorts of bacterias. Warm, moist and if you don’t wash, or aren’t able to wash the area properly it can lead to smells, often from what’s called Smegma. The white, creamy material that you can often find under the foreskin.

    You don’t say whether you’ve got a tight foreskin or whether you are able to fully pull back your foreskin. If you’re not able to do this, it could stop you getting rid of the smegma build, which after a while, smell.

    The best way to clean the area is with warm water. It’s often advised not to use shower gels or soaps because they may cause irritation.

    If you’re not able to fully retract the foreskin you should see your doctor about this.

    However you say that you have been given a cream in the past to sort out the smell. Without knowing what the cream is or what it is for, we suggest that you go back to your docs and get to the root of your problem.

    If you have an infection or your penis is red and sore or has a rash then you definitely should book in with your GP – or take some time to go to a walk in sexual health clinic.

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I Had An Unprotected Blowjob: Can I get HIV?

    ADVICE | I Had An Unprotected Blowjob: Can I get HIV?

    A young reader asks if he can catch HIV from a quick blowjob from an ex.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Dear TGUK
    Me and a former boyfriend had partial sex several months ago. We performed hand jobs on one another and he gave me a blowjob. The blowjob wasn’t long (only four sucks) and I didn’t cum. However, as a hypochondriac I’m concerned about HIV. Prior to sex I asked him if he had sex before. He had sex only once in the past and it was only mutual masturbation and fellatio. My parents won’t let me take a test because it would worsen my health anxiety. But should I be worried?

    Joe 16,

    Hello Joe

    Thank you for writing to us with your worries, it sounds as though you had a very low-risk encounter with your ex. Oral sex is considered a low-risk activity for catching HIV, especially if you’re on the receiving end of the BJ. However it’s not just HIV that you have to consider here. Other nasties like Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea can be passed on by both receiver and giver, and might not even show symptoms, however all these infections can be treated effectively, if caught soon enough.

    If you are worried you should make an appointment to go to a clinic, or just pop along to a walk-in clinic. There are some amazing services – and now, there’s even an online clinic called S24, where you can take tests at home and have the results sent to your mobile phone, Google it.

    If your parents are standing in your way of getting a health check maybe you need to have a conversation with them about your worries, however at 16 you can go to a clinic by yourself you have the right to be treated confidentially.

    Hand-jobs and mutual masturbation are very safe activities, as long as you keep bodily fluids such as semen away from open cuts or sores. If you’re worried in future you can use condoms during oral, and there are even flavoured ones to try.

    Visiting a sex health clinic is an important part of life, taking responsibility for your health and for others you’re having sex with. Making regular visits every six months to once a year is suggested if you’re sexually active.

    So don’t delay and more importantly try not to worry yourself too much.

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online? Click here to buy one

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.  

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | When he enters me… I lose my erection

    ADVICE | When he enters me… I lose my erection

    Hi guys

    I’m having erection issues. I’ve been in relationship for three years and the sex is still great and I get aroused and stiff quickly and solidly but on a number of occasions recently, as soon as he enters me, I lose my erection. What can you advise?

    cheers

    Jon

    Dear Jon,

    Thank you for your question. Firstly be reassured that plenty of people have issues like this so you are not alone.

    We have a specialist service at 56 Dean Street for people who suffer from erection problems, however, you would need to be referred in by your GP. You can get him to do this directly with a letter, or we have a form which you can collect and ask the GP to fill out before sending it back.

    Hopefully, this helps!

    Jenna

  • ADVICE | Do condoms protect you from every sexual disease?

    ADVICE | Do condoms protect you from every sexual disease?

    This week our specialists Jake Jenkins and Jenna Thomas from 56 Dean Street talk about condoms.

    do condoms protect you from every STIs
    Bigstock

    Dear TGUK & 56DS
    Everyone says that If you want a safer sex, you have to use condom. But can it prevent all diseases?
    Best Jimmie

    Dear Jimmie

    Having safer sex means having sex which has less risk of catching or passing on an STI.

    Using a condom is the best way to do this, however it doesn’t completely prevent you from catching an STI. Lots of things can affect how likely you are to catch an STI such as a condom slipping or breaking during sex and contact during foreplay such as rubbing, masturbating each other and oral sex. A few things that can help are ensuring a condom is used from start to finish during penetration, using latex condom friendly lubricant (such as water or silicone based) and regular screening for STIs.

    Do not use Vaseline or oil based lubricants. You can walk in for a HIV test and Hepatitis B vaccines any time at 56 Dean Street and can make an appointment for a full screen. However if you are under the age of 20 you can walk in to the clinic at any time for a full screen. There is also a dedicated service for young people which runs Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening, details of this an be found on the website (http://www.chelwest.nhs.uk/services/hiv-sexual-health/clinics/56-dean-street/young-persons-services).

    Even if you do everything right accidents can happen so it’s good to know about PEP, this is a course of medication you may be able to take if you have been at high risk of HIV. You can also walk in to the clinic to discuss PEP with a member of staff.

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I Have Slept With Over 700 Guys Am I Addicted To Unprotected Sex?

    Am I Addicted To Unprotected Sex?

    Dear 56DS and TGUK

    I’m in my mid 20s and I’m a bit of sex lover. I’ve probably been with over 700 guys in the last 2 years, which makes my friends laugh, but I think I’m a bit addicted to it.

    Some of the sex has been whilst drunk or on drugs (never needles) and I can’t be certain that it’s always been protected sex.

    I am around 80% the top in these shags. So I’ve been told that the likelihood is that I’m fine, but just wondering.

    I’ve had a few STDs and had those cleared up but I’m feeling a little bit worried as I always do this time of year with WorldAIDS Day coming up…

    I have been to the clinic, but not this year.

     

    Hi there;
    Thanks for your question.

    Being top may be less risky than being the bottom, but there is still a risk, and guys who only top still get HIV. This is because of HIV can also be found in mucosal secretions inside someone’s bum. Using condoms will protect you against HIV and most STIs regardless of how many partners you have. However, it’s possible that condoms break, or you can get STIs including HIV through oral sex, although getting HIV through oral sex is rare.

    Some people say that taking drugs including alcohol makes them more relaxed and more likely to take risks. Sometimes when people get caught in the moment they may feel invincible and forget to do the things they normally would to protect their health. It’s really important that you keep control by using condoms and getting yourself checked regularly for sexually transmitted infections. This should be for all STIs not just HIV.

    If you do have HIV finding out can save your life (if you have had it for many years) or add years to your life. HIV is now a manageable health condition and life expectancy may be almost the same if diagnosed early and you start treatment at the right time. It’s better to know as you can take control of your own health and protect your partners.

    It sounds like you may want to visit our CODE clinic, a walk-in service between 5-7pm on Tuesdays for gay men who use drugs during sex. The team are super friendly, non-judgemental and there to help you. They can advise you on drug taking, help you to reduce or stop and explain more about risks of STIs. Also, they know a lot about the harder sex scene, if that happens to be your thing.

    In terms of the number of partners, it’s really important that you are having a healthy, enjoyable sex life which is not harmful to your mental or physical health.

    If you’re worried that you may have sex addiction then help is available. There is an online screening tool at www.sexhelp.com which is free. It will give you a score and explain what that means. There are also lots of resources on the www.sexaddictionhelp.co.uk and www.recoverynation.com websites. We provide support at 56 Dean Street and if you visited the clinic with an appointment with a health advisor we could refer you to this service.

    Hope that helps;

    Jenna and Jake.

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?