THEGAYUK

Author: Becky Graham

  • COMMENT | Religion And Sexuality

    We have made some great leaps over the last few years in the name of Diversity. Accepting the belief systems of the individuals and communities, which make up the company within which we live in order to present and perform as a united public.

    We endeavour to behave by a generally accepted rule of what is right and wrong towards people in the name of humanity and to the virtue of the individual regardless of their cultural status. To this merit; Society, in the broadest terms, aims to aid in the progression of law and ethics in order to establish a fairer less segregated union by acknowledging what is “Different” to the considered “Norm”, and then accepting that it is these very diversities which are the mainstream of Society and not the minority. We are, none of us, the same as any other.

    With this slightly hippified version of life and all its wonderful nuances in mind, I set about exploring, in a somewhat naive way, what it actually means to ‘Accept’ within the parameters of the anticipated Ideal of a community. And the community I decided to explore? Well, I couldn’t have given myself a larger more diverse group if I had tried; I choose Religion, what with the festive season approaching and all and not just one but all of them; no stone unturned, and why? Because the religious community is one built on love, and togetherness and belonging and acceptance without rule, isn’t it? Well yes, of course, only with some slight deviations along the way

    It may be relevant to point out that I am not personally religious. I come from a religious family, I have studied the major texts of several religions and I have friends from across the religious community but when it comes to ticking that little box on the diversity monitoring form, I sit quite happily in the “no religion” category. I do however; have the upmost respect for the beliefs of the individual and their personal right to live freely by their own judgements.

    So anyway, here I am; curiosity to boot, with my slightly ‘Peace and Love’ attitude in tow and I start contacting people to ask them about Love, and if I stopped there then everything would be just fine. In fact, lets try that shall we…

    Hello,

    I would like to ask you about Love

    Bye then

    Answers below please…

    I imagine we would be hard pushed to find anyone that would not agree that the love of one individual to another, or of several individuals, is anything but a good thing. Unless of course you’re reading this after you’ve had another blazing row about who left the milk out all night, because when we look at this rationally, it couldn’t have been me because I don’t make the porridge and if it wasn’t me, and it wasn’t you, then we have far bigger things to worry about than some slightly luke warm milk.

    But Love is something which resonates without exception; we all know it in some shape or form, we all need it, in others; we’re all afraid of it in ways that make us shy away from our own hearts in order to protect ourselves from the joys and hurts we may not even know yet. Love is hard and Love is beautiful and Love is ours; whoever and whatever you may be. So that question of Love is a question that is universal, for apart from anything else, how could we, anyone, presume to take precedents enough over it to deny someone of it? What great audacity gives us that right?

    So when I went to the Priests and the Rabbi’s and the Vicars and the Imam’s and the congregations that make up their communities, with this question of Sexuality and Identity, I was only left disheartened by the lack of Love that appeared both in its acceptance and understanding, and I was furthermore saddened by the hostility and disregard of the individual and their right to live freely, because of it.

    And then I got angry. And I have pondered over how better to put this than: grr, but the ridiculousness of it, the hypocrisy, the stupidity that places such effect and importance on something so…so natural as to love; the pomposity of it, it just makes me grrr and then, following that, begin along the lines of some angry feminist rant.

    Without wanting to go on too much of a nit-picking ramble around different religious texts, I will make reference to just one, here, as it is rather at the cornerstone of our beliefs of the heterosexual union.
    The same Hebrew Word, as used in Genesis to describe the love between Adam and Eve is used to describe the love between Ruth and Naomi in The Book of Ruth. Furthermore this vow, made from one woman to another, is often used in marriage ceremonies to illustrate the nature of the covenant of the union. And well, isn’t that ironic? This idealised heterosexual union of love is blessed by, and based on, a homosexual union. Just saying…

    To say I struggled to engage people in this conversation, would be putting it lightly. It seems that everyone has an opinion but nobody wants to talk about it but I was lucky enough to speak and meet with some wonderful people who were able to share their stories with me and leave me, surprisingly actually, feeling much better about the whole damn thing in the end.

    It is a story of struggle. Of fighting through adversity. Of strength and, at the end of all of that; love (though one would really hope that came somewhere closer to the beginning).

    I spoke with people who had been completely vilified and run out of their communities, people who had been forced to try and “change” or hide themselves, people who had been completely abandoned, abused and neglected, people who were left scared and ashamed and alone and fearful of ever trying to integrate with a community again. And why? because they had fallen in love. And there is no way of explaining that because no belief, surely, results in the belief of the mistreatment of another person.

    But what I find most astonishing at the end of all of this is that Faith and the Love of Faith holds strong. When everything around you in the name of religion is against you, somehow it is your faith and your God that gives you the strength to continue.

    And I gotta say this didn’t make a lot of sense to me, how could you hold on to Faith when it is that very thing that has turned its back on you?

    But then someone said to me “its all struggle; Jesus struggled, Ruth struggled, Mary struggled…they all fought against someone for the right to be free in themselves; they all struggled, but they never had to fight God; he loved them always, whatever struggle life had given them, he loved them always and he loves me” and I think that is a message for anyone to keep in their hearts that it is your strength and your belief and your faith in something, whatever that may be, that keeps you going and that Love, whatever shape, whatever form it may come in, will never die.

    So having navigated my way through some verbal abuse and some outrageous ignorance and some damn right rudeness, I settled on something rather wonderful; a universal truth of love: you are never alone. For every one struggling there is someone who cares, for everywhere you are not welcome there is a place you always are, for every person that doesn’t understand there is someone that does and when you finally find that you can walk through a door into a room full of strangers and belong, and be loved, there is beauty in that struggle too, and that’s the message; that no matter what, you are loved.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | Putin’s Peace Prize

    Having allowed myself some time take in the news of Putin’s Nobel Peace Prize nomination I find I have reached no greater conclusion than the; ‘What the what?’ of my initial reactionary facial expressions.

    But let’s allow credit where is credit due here, please. First off all taking into account the merits of the individual case; outrageous skirting of human rights aside.

    For his work in the promotion of conflict resolution and the supported maintenance of peace and tranquillity, both at home and abroad; Putin receives nomination. For stopping bloodshed through political discussion; Putin receives nomination. For being a generally all-round nice guy who continuously advocates for a more resolved and peaceful planet; Putin receives nomination, and I think we would all agree that any such works from an individual are beyond acceptable cause to receive such a resounding applause.

    However, the merit of any case has its failings and here, laden in controversy, one barely knows where to begin. Putin is currently serving a 6 year term as president of Russia following a change of law that increased presidential term-age (theoretical term, that one) from 4 years, in 2012, amidst claims of fraud and irregularity by, both, opposition activists and the wider political community.

    In 2006 Putin received widespread condemnation for, what was considered as, a crackdown on Media Freedoms in Russia, following the shooting of an independent Russian Journalist who had exposed corruptions within the army and its conducts in Chechnya.

    In 2012 Putin backed stricter legislations of the Russian LGBT community, with further laws on Homosexual propaganda coming into place in 2013 and all the generally ongoing palavers there with.

    To name but a few.

    Now one could argue, here, that the very “blood shed” by Russian individuals striving for the right to live; speak and love freely, is cause enough to deny a claim for such an honour. Furthermore, the application of this law to visiting ‘non-Russians’, whose privilege to express and speak themselves with the same freedoms, perhaps, as they would enjoy at home, well…one could argue that that dissolves the claim for peace and tranquillity amongst all people on the “planet”. Not to mention the Russian role as the main supplier of arms to Basha al-Assad’s regime, in Syria.

    So we have, here, a man who’s every claim to honour is subject to rebuttal of the highest order. For, there appears to be very few instances where the promotion of such peaceful and resolved conflict, have not been undermined or undone by the very actions of his own legislation within government which, at the most basic level, aim to dissolve the rights of Humans to enjoy the privilege of a free life.

    To allow, to the point of promotion, such hatred and discrimination to exist; openly and in your name, opposes the very essence of peace and the very notion of prize. The ability to nominate an individual regardless, therefore, raises into question the very essence of what the Nobel Peace Prize is and, furthermore, taking into account not only recent but historical nuances in nomination, the validity of its award.

    The current atrocities faced by individuals in Russia for the pure nature of their love seems cause enough that such a nomination could barely even be considered that, surely, would be the Nobel Peace Prize in action?

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMEDY REVIEW | In The Midst Of Crackers

    On a journey through debauchery; silliness and hypocrisy, Reginald D. Hunter explores themes of human nature and the intrinsic nuances which make up our cultural world.

    In, In The Midst of Crackers, Hunter takes a more introspective and confessional approach to respond to the controversies which have surrounded his work and, in particular, his choice of language, by demonstrating the hypocrisies which exist hidden behind euphemism, within society.

    Exploring themes of Race; Sex and Relationships through, often, long philosophical ramblings whose only punchline seems to emerge from the need for a release from the awkward tension that has arisen, Hunter poses some difficult questions with a remarkable ability to silence his audience completely, before raising them into a fit of giggle fury.

    The more personal material presented through the discussion of relationships and, in particular, Hunters confessions of cheating on former girlfriends, leaves a slightly awkward and unsympathetic taste, despite the intellectual repartee with which the anecdote is staged, and leaves you feeling a little like you’re sat in the pub with a group of Blokes and a sign outside reading “Beer as cold as your ex-girlfriend’s heart”

    He has an ability to frame a discussion of some merit in rapturous silliness, drawing the audience in with philosophical smarts which endeavour to highlight and often shame the inequalities, hypocrisies and injustices of life and then ending on a butt joke. An altogether whimsy which just goes to show that life is really silly sometimes and so are the inequalities in it.

    The overall tone of the show is one of confession, as Hunter aims to respond to critique; controversy and personal failings, where he is more often than not painted as the “Bad Guy”.

    It is a show that, in its best moments, explores society with philosophical vigour and great intellect leaving the audience in a limbo of perplexing morality and a “whatever” giggle. At times, however, it feels lacking in clarity perhaps, as simply because; life, in itself, is lacking in the very clarity which Hunter aims to examine.

  • OPINION | The Is Who You’ll Be

    I have checked my laptop; my tablet and my very smart phone repeatedly for reassurance and, finding them all in accordance with the wonders of GMT and the world wide inter webs, I am without doubt that the date is the 14th September and the year 2013.

    Of course, a further give away that I am abundant in technological times would be that none of these Space Age ‘Back to the Future’ play things existed in the middle ages, as, equally, neither did the word “homosexuality”; a term coined by a Hungarian physician sometime in the late 19th Century, a modern invention.

    Although, of course, homosexual “practices”, and as we all know “practice makes perfect”, were in mainstream existence since the times of the Ancient Greeks; our most famed and favourite philosophers of human principal, who deemed no reason to coin such a phrase of separation, but merely understood the relationship as a simple part of the ‘aphrodisia’, otherwise known as; ‘love’.

    So I find myself in a quandary as to why it is, that two centuries after homosexuality was first given a name, and many many years since love became an acceptable part of human existence, we are having to march down to the house of the man in charge with our hands in the air to fight for the general humanity that provides each individual with the right to be free.

    The answer to this question: Russia, and I cannot tell you how long I have waited to use the phrase “From Russia, No Love”…well, honestly; I can, approximately 2 years, but that is neither here nor there in the grander scheme of things; the man that wrote that sentence in words and then forced me to listen to a half hour dialogue about the ironic presentations of word plays within pop culture reference; was an idiot, but his point vaguely stands, though not for its intended use, but as equally as he was a moron the current situation of secreted hatred is moronical.

    A word I just coined; a modern invention.

    It seems ridiculous that this debate should even carry enough weight to build a sentence out of and yet, here we are again. And I find myself wondering; what is worse here?

    The fact that a country has even thought to make such a law or that every other country in the modern world isn’t screaming “what the what!” over a couple of beers in a gay bar before mocking the imbecile for their naive lack of mind.

    For what exactly is the crime here?

    That one person might fall in love with another person?

    That one person might have to suffer the same pain and heartache, the same joy and beauty as anyone else?

    That, size charts permitting, they can swap sweaters and share shoes?

    The truth of love is that no one; male, female, whatever the hell you are, chooses where their heart goes; because if you had that choice, chances are you’d hide in a tool shed at the bottom of your parents garden until your hormones had subsided enough that you might come in contact with another human being and feel nothing, because wherever your heart finds itself it will find a world of challenges; sufferings, confusions, upsets, compromises, problems, runaways and hide and seeks and that’s the beauty of love.

    No-one is safe from it.

    No-one is more or less worthy.

    We are all equal to the heart, we are all slaves to it, and we are all lucky to experience that one moment in life when you realise; “I am completely in love with you”.

    When the most basic rules of humanity dictate that every individual should be held in equal esteem to every other individual regardless of race; religion, sex or sexuality.

    That no one man or woman is more worthy of life; and therefore, of love, than any other.

    That we are all free to feel, to be, to move around the streets of this earth without fear from any other individual or group of individuals. And yet, here, in September 2013 we, as people of this world, are allowing directed segregation’s towards individuals whose crimes are charged as: “love”. And to continue to argue “Cultural Diversity”, is just not an admissible excuse to overlook injustices to a community of people who span every culture; every diversity, apart from anything else its a massive hypocrisy to permit injustice of human rights in the name of “acceptance” when the very nature of that condition is a rejection of an acceptance of human rights.

    So here we are, standing at the doors of Downing Street with our hands in the air asking for the truest thing, the most natural thing the world has ever known: the right to fall in love; to let that love live and to walk down the street holding its hand because there comes a time, in life, when we; as people, as individuals, have to accept that; “this is who I am and this is who you’ll be”.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.