THEGAYUK

Author: Jose Perez De La Cruz

  • ADVICE | Did I catch Herpes?

    ADVICE | Did I catch Herpes?

    Dear Jose,

    A f*ck buddy of mine has just told me he has genital herpes but says he’s never had it whilst we’ve had sex.

    Can I still get herpes if he’s not got an outbreak?

    Tim.

    Dear Tim,

    Genital Herpes is an infection caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV), which can cause painful blisters in your genital area. It can be passed from person to person during sexual contact and is a long-term condition. The virus remains in your body and can become active at any time. HSV can affect any mucous membrane, any moist lining, such as your mouth – and can cause cold sores.

    So, unless he has an active herpes infection, that is visible lesions then it is unlikely that you will be at risk of contracting herpes.

    However, if he is infected he should be undergoing treatment. This lowers the risk of catching herpes even further but as the virus is transmitted by skin to skin contact I would recommend that you go and get checked at your local sexual health clinic.

    Using condoms or a dental dam (if you’re rimming) are great ways to further lower the risk of herpes, or other STIs passing from one person to another.

    There are various treatments for herpes you can buy online to help you with the symptoms. However, you may need a prescription.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    Have you got a question for our experts? Click here to write to our Dilemma’s page.

  • ADVICE | I had bareback sex, can I get PEP on the NHS?

    After having bareback sex, this reader asks what are the options available to getting PEP on the NHS.

    can I get PEP on the NHS?

    Dear TGUK,
    I recently hooked up with a guy I know to be promiscuous, we got drunk and he ended up f**king me bareback and I had some blood down there the next day. I’m desperate to get PrEP, as even though he says he’s HIV negative, how can I be sure? I don’t normally take risks, but this time I slipped up.
    Please help!
    Sam (name changed)

     

    Hi Sam,

    If you’re worried about your status you should visit a sexual health clinic right away or an A&E department, who also can prescribe the Post-exposure prophylaxis drugs (PEP). It is a course of drugs which lasts up to 28 days. It is effective at stopping the HIV virus up 72 hours after exposure.

    You will need to explain to the doctors why you think you need the treatment and they will assess the likelihood of your exposure to the virus.

    Bareback sex carries a high risk to HIV exposure, but also to a variety of other infections, which can all be very nasty and may not show symptoms. You say that the guy said that he was HIV negative, but when was the last time he was tested and was he telling the truth? You can never be sure, which is why it’s important for you to take responsibility for your own health. If he’s had unprotected sex with you and you say he’s known for being promiscuous the likelihood of him having unprotected sex with others is very high.

    Make sure you ask your doctor or sexual health professional about the side-effects of PEP.

    As for the blood you mentioned, the anus is filled with veins and delicate capillaries, which can get damaged during sex. You may want to check that you don’t have piles and if you do there are many over the counter remedies for these. If you’re worried or concerned see your GP.

    Remember unless you 100% trust someone wrap it up.

    Visiting a sex health clinic is an important part of life, taking responsibility for your health and for others you’re having sex with. Making regular visits every six months to once a year is suggested if you’re sexually active.

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online? Click here to buy one

    ALSO READ: Why does my foreskin smell?

    ALSO READ: Do I wank too much?

     

    The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.  

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I’m Finding It Hard To Get A Hard On

    This week a reader confides that he finds it hard to get a hard on.

    I'm Finding It Hard To Get A Hard On

    Dear TGUK
    I’m finding it hard to get a hard on, what can I do?
    Jeff

     

    Dear Jeff
    First of all, don’t give yourself a hard time about not being able to get a hard on. It happens to the best of us at the worst of times – and stressing about it can actually make the situation worse. So take a moment and breathe.

    It sounds as though you’re suffering from erectile dysfunction (ED). Lots of things can cause ED; from being too stressed out at work to money worries. Even lifestyle choices such as too much alcohol or drug taking can hinder a strong erection.

    Also, you don’t say, but if you’re on any kind of prescribed medication you might want to check and see if any side effects listed by the meds, include ED. Do not come off any prescribed meds with out talking to your GP first.

    There are a variety of things you can do to try to get your little Mr back up and working again, but first of all, see whether you can get an erection when you’re by yourself – or during your sleep.

    There’s a very simple test to see whether you get erections during your sleep. One of the tests is the famous stamp test. If you can still get a row of stamps that are joined by a perforated edge you can perform this in the comfort of your own home.

    Before you go to bed put a row of four or five joined stamps around the shaft of your flaccid penis and seal by moistening the two ends together. If any of the perforations between the stamps is broken in the morning you’ll know that you are getting nocturnal erections, because your enlarged penis will naturally break the perforations between the stamps. This test can help you rule out a more serious erectile dysfunction, because you know that you can physically have an erection.

    If this is the case take a look at external factors such as your work load or your alcohol consumption. As frustrated as you might be, you just might need to take your time with this.

    If you don’t break the perforations, then you might consider getting an appointment with your GP, who should be able to help you find a medical solution.

    There are a number of other at home tests you can do like the Rigiscan and The Penile Plethysmograph.

    You could try Viagra or a herbal supplement available in Holland and Barratt called Horny Goatweed.

    If your problem is being caused by wearing condoms then you can get in touch with the Terrence Higgins Trust. They can actually send you a variety, for free, to check out which ones work for you.

    If you would like condoms then contact Joe Perez at THT, jose.perezdelacruz@tht.org.uk

    It’s important not to let this ruin your sex life – there are many options available to you – and you can even have sex without having a full erection or taking the pressure off yourself by focusing on your partner rather than your erection.

    Talking your issues over with your partner may also help as well. It’s important to keep communication open between partners if you’re going through a tough time.

    Wish you will Jeff and keep in touch to let us know how you’re getting on.

     

    ALSO READ: How to last longer in bed. 10 tips for you to try and extend your staying power.

    ALSO READ: Why does my foreskin smell?

    ALSO READ: Feed Your Penis – some power packed recipes to help your stamina and erections strength!

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | Help I Think I Have Broken My Penis

    This week a reader is worried that he’s damaged his penis.

    Dear Jose

    I think I’ve broken my penis. I heard a snap when I was having sex. It’s incredibly painful and it’s looking kinda black and blue. Will it heal by itself?

    JM

     

    Dear JM

    I would recommend that you present at A&E or see your GP as soon as possible. It may heal by itself but it may not heal correctly which may have implications for long term functioning.

    The penis is not a bone despite the term boner. You get an erection by blood flowing through the penis inside two cylinder-shaped chambers which are called the corpora cavernosa. Once those are filled the penis becomes hard.

    Although your penis is pretty robust it is possible to break it or snap the fibrous coverings of the corpora cavernosa called tunica albuginea. As you can see from the above picture the penis may become black and blue.

    Penile fractures can happen during sex, with the majority of accidents happening in the cowboy position (the bottom or person who is being penetrated is on top). So make sure you take care during that position.

    It can also happen during aggressive wanking. See our advice on wanking too much<

    by Jose Perez / Jake Hook

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

     

    YOUR QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS 

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I Have Piles… Can I Still Have Sex?

    This week a concerned reader asks about haemorrhoids and whether he can still have sex.

    I Have Piles... Can I Still Have Sex?

     

    Dear Jose,

    I have just found that I have piles… Great! The problem is I’m the bottom in our relationship. Is it safe to f**k whilst I’ve got these? If I use creams and they go away, is there a possibility they’ll burst – am I more likely to get an infection – if say we have a three way or go to an orgy?

    J, 40, Somerset.

     

    Dear J

    Anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to a STI can make transmission more likely.

    I would recommend using Preparation H or Germoloids to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling. During sex it is also important that you use a good water based lubricant, particularly during acts of multiple person or high frequency sexual activity as this will reduce the chance of any inflammation being caused. They are very unlikely to burst during normal sexual activity, even in the case of sex parties, threesomes or orgies. If creams etc. though do not fix the underlying problem and I would recommend as a permanent solution surgical intervention.

    This can now be done almost painlessly by syringing the haemorrhoids and a referral can be obtained by going to see your GP. There are also a number of  private clinics undertaking the therapy which do not require GP referral.

    Jose Perez de la Cruz, BPubHtlth,

    Public Health Practitioner

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I Am Thinking About Bottoming For The First Time… How I Can I Be Clean?

    ADVICE | I Am Thinking About Bottoming For The First Time… How I Can I Be Clean?

    This week one reader is concerned about being unclean during sex.

    I Am Thinking About Bottoming For The First Time... How I Can I Be Clean?

    Dear Jose

    I’m thinking about bottoming for the first time and I’m a little worried about being “dirty” down there during sex. I’ve heard about certain things you can do to make sure you’re clean and that there’s no sh*t when you’re having sex?
    Is there anything I can do that’s safe?

    Thank you for your advice

    Tom, 25 Huddersfield

    Dear Tom,
    Hi there it depends what you mean by dirty. Obviously proper preparation prior to undertaking sexual activity such as anal sex reduces the chances of embarrassing things occurring such as “sh*t dick”.

    This can be accomplished by proper douche technique or commercially available enemas.

    From a sexual health point of view, any sexual act is broadly safe so long as you or your partners do not have any STIs, id you do have any underlying STIs then get them treated.

    The best way to protect against these is to use condoms and to get regularly tested for STIs, at least every 3 months, this testing is available free at NHS sexual health clinics and some Terrence Higgins Trust offices. I would also recommend using condoms with a good water-based lubricant, again these are available free form Terrence Higgins Trust.

    Advice by: Jose Perez de la Cruz, BPubHtlth,
    Public Health Practitioner

    BACK TO SEX HEALTH CLINIC

  • ADVICE | Can I Get HIV From Sharing A Bath?

    One reader asks our sexual health expert Jose Perez De La Cruz, whether he is at risk of getting HIV from sharing a bath.

    Can I Get HIV From Sharing A Bath?

    Dear TGUK,

     I recently stayed at someone’s house in the morning I had a bath before I left. I didn’t know at the time (nor did he), but the lad has since told me that he’s been tested HIV positive and it was likely that he caught it before our meet up.

    The hook up we had was pretty safe. We used condoms and I’ve heard that you can’t get HIV from blowjobs, so I’m assuming I’m okay.

    I’m worried about the bath. can I catch HIV or any other infection from using the same bathtub as someone else?

    I was in there for a good 30 minutes. Plenty of time for an infection to get in me.

    Pls, Help.

     

    Hi Tom,

    Relax. There is absolutely no chance you can catch HIV from a bath. HIV is a very fragile virus and would be dead within seconds even in normal air so such an environment would probably make this even quicker.

    To catch HIV requires exposure to blood, semen, vaginal fluid, prostatic fluid (pre-cum) or contaminated breast milk. Even without allowing for the aforementioned fragility of the virus if one of these fluids, by some unlikely chance, had made its way into the bath water it would be so diluted that it would be unable to infect you.

    The same applies to most other infections, bath water is not a very good medium for the growth of sexually transmitted pathogens.

    There is a very small risk you can catch HIV from blowjobs, the risk being slightly higher if you are giving the blowjob and the person ejaculates in your mouth.

    As standard advice only, if you have any concerns about any sexual contact you have had I would recommend you attend your nearest sexual health clinic for a sexual health screen.

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online? Click here to buy one

    INFORMATION PROVIDED FOR BY JOSE PEREZ DE LA CRUZ

     

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

     

    The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.  

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | He Has HIV, Should I Call It Off?

    This week, sexual health expert Jose Perez de la Cruz, answers a reader’s question about a potential new boyfriend, who is HIV positive and is worried about having a sexual relationship with him.

    Hey there,

    I’ve met a really cute guy recently at a bar and we made out and he’s incredibly sexy and we had a great connection.

    We didn’t have sex, but the next day he texted me to say he was HIV+.

    Now I’m really nervous, I want to see him again, but I’m worried I might catch HIV if we have sex. Also long term, I like having sex unprotected, (only in a long-term) but that’s not going to be possible ever is it?

    Should I call it off?

     

    Hello,

    There is certainly no need to call off what could potentially be a very satisfying relationship, solely based on the fact that he is HIV positive.

    The risk of contracting HIV from someone during unprotected sex is determined by a number of factors. If an HIV positive individual is on medication, and his viral load is undetectable then there is very little chance of catching HIV from them, though, we cannot say it is impossible. An undetectable viral load means that the quantity of active HIV in a person’s bloodstream is so low that it is in fact almost zero. Conversely, the higher the viral load the more likely and indeed the easier it is to catch HIV.

    Therefore, I think the best thing to do prior to engaging in any sexual intercourse of any kind is to establish whether he is undetectable or not.

    Even if he isn’t there is always the option of using condoms. I understand that many people don’t like them, but if you choose to have unprotected sex with anyone, at least use a good water based lubricant.

    To a degree lube also reduces the risk of catching HIV as it reduces the internal trauma which commonly occurs during sex.

    Hope this helps.

    Jose Perez de la Cruz, BPubHtlth,

    Public Health Practitioner

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online? Click here to buy one

    The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.  

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I Was Drunk And He Barebacked Me Can I Get PEP?

    In our latest letter to our online clinic, one reader asks about getting PEP or Post-exposure prophylaxis after having bareback sex.

    I Was Drunk And He Barebacked Me Can I Get PEP?

    Dear TGUK,
    I recently hooked up with a guy I know to be promiscuous, we got drunk and he ended up f**king me bareback and I had some blood down there the next day. I’m desperate to get PrEP, as even though he says he’s HIV negative, how can I be sure? I don’t normally take risks, but this time I slipped up.
    Please help!
    Sam (name changed)

     

    Hi Sam,

    If you’re worried about your status you should visit a sexual health clinic right away or an A&E department, who also can prescribe the Post-exposure prophylaxis drugs (PEP). It is a course of drugs which lasts up to 28 days. It is effective at stopping the HIV virus up 72 hours after exposure.

    You will need to explain to the doctors why you think you need the treatment and they will assess the likelihood of your exposure to the virus.

    Bareback sex carries high risk to HIV exposure, but also to a variety of other infections, which can all be very nasty and may not show symptoms. You say that the guy said that he was HIV negative, but when was the last time he was tested and was he telling the truth? You can never be sure, which is why it’s important for you to take responsibility for your own health. If he’s had unprotected sex with you and you say he’s known for being promiscuous the likelihood of him having unprotected sex with others is very high.

    Make sure you ask your doctor or sexual health professional about the side-effects of PEP.

    As for the blood you mentioned, the anus is filled with veins and delicate capillaries, which can get damaged during sex. You may want to check that you don’t have piles and if you do there are many over the counter remedies for these. If you’re worried or concerned see your GP.

    Remember unless you 100% trust someone wrap it up.

    Visiting a sex health clinic is an important part of life, taking responsibility for your health and for others you’re having sex with. Making regular visits every six months to once a year is suggested if you’re sexually active.

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online? Click here to buy one

    ALSO READ: Why does my foreskin smell?

    ALSO READ: Do I wank too much?

     

    The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.  

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?