THEGAYUK

Category: Entertainment

  • FILM REVIEW | The Hundred Foot Journey

    ★ | The Hundred Foot Journey

    A more apt title for this preposterous and painfully unfunny comedy would be ‘Lost in Translation’. Based on a best-selling novel by Richard C. Morais this new movie from the Oscar-nominated king of syrupy schmaltz Lasse Hallstrom (Cider House Rules & Chocolat) and produced by Oprah Winfrey and Stephen Spielberg must have seemed like a fantastic idea on paper as they managed to persuade none other than Oscar Winner Helen Mirren to be their very uncomfortable looking star. After filming this very inane and somewhat patronising piece she could only have only ended up asking the same question as we do now i.e. whatever possessed her!

    The story is of an Indian family who has to leave Mumbai in a hurry when their restaurant is destroyed and the matriarch is killed after a political uprising. They seek asylum in London and settle in a cramped home next to Heathrow Airport right under the flight path. However it’s not the fact that they can almost touch the planes as they land that drives them out, but the cold and damp English climate and they set off in a dilapidated camper van to warmer climes of France.

    When their van breaks down outside Saint-Antonin-Noble-Vala small picturesque one-street village in the middle of nowhere, Father spies an empty restaurant for sale that he deems will be perfect for the family to establish their new Indian Restaurant. This village evidently only has one other eating establishment (other than the café where everyone has breakfast) and this is smack opposite their new venue. It is in fact just a hundred feet from their front door. This very popular fine dining establishment, which possesses a coveted Michelin star, and a fancy Chef, is run by a chauffeured driven Grand Dame who, for some inexplicable reason, is paranoid about the new competition from a fast-food Indian eatery run by a cook.

    The rivalry is petty and too silly for words and is as ridiculous as the silly French accent of the English speaking Madame Mallory. After a chance encounter, Hassan the Indian cook falls in love with Marguerite a sous chef who works for Madame and she encourages him to read a recipe book about fine French cuisine. Then after a few attempts at re-creating classic dishes and before you can say Nigella Lawson he is a cordon-bleu chef and immediately deserts his family to work for Madame herself. Next stop for him is Paris and an even fancier restaurant where as Chef de Cuisine he becomes an overnight sensation winning more Michelin stars with easy.

    However, fame and success isn’t everything for Hassan and as he misses his family he hurries back to Madame‘s country restaurant where he can get the taste of both Marguerite and fresh local produce once again.

    This rather innocuous tale is an excruciating 2 hours long and has no redeeming features other than the location of the small town, and the rather scrumptious food.

  • FILM REVIEW | CitizenFour

    ★★★★★ | CitizenFour

    After you have watched Laura Poitras’s powerful documentary on the NSA Whistleblower Edward Snowden you will never want to use your bank debit card, mobile phone or even turn your computer on ever again. Whilst it’s not always easy to totally understand the intricate technical details of what Snowden reveals, it is, however, impossible not to avoid his very serious warning that Big Brother is most certainly spying on every single one of us.

    What’s remarkable about this extraordinary movie is that is that Poitras was part of the whole process of Snowden going public with his astonishing information, so what we see is a blow by blow account as she films this unprecedented event from the very beginning. Oscar-nominated Poitras (‘My Country My Country’) was in the middle of making another film about surveillance when Snowden contacted her anonymously, using the pseudonym ‘Citizenfour’, and asked for her help in exposing the government’s practice of indiscriminately wholesale spying on all its citizens. Unlike others with conspiracy theories Snowden, a computer intelligence expert who worked for one of the NSA’s main contractors, had hard proof to back up all his claims but as this was classified information he knew that revealing the details would be both difficult and dangerous.

    In May 2013 he flew from Hawaii from Hong Kong where he had arranged to meet up with Poitras and Washington Post journalist Glenn Greenwald. They had deliberately chosen this Chinese territory as it has no extradition treaty with the US and both Poitras and Snowden knew that the moment they started to go public with the story the US Government (and maybe the British one too) would want to skin them alive.

    When the three meet Snowden makes it clear about his intentions to reveal how widespread these surveillance programs are, but he is unsure about exactly what information he should make public without compromising national security. Here the journalists take the lead, and they with British journalist Ewan MacAskill, make the decisions on what to release to the media and when. These few days in with the ‘team’ in Hong Kong holed up in Snowden’s undisclosed hotel room are tense and nerve racking to witness, and asides from worrying about future consequences, Snowden also wants to ensure that when the story breaks that it focuses on the revelations themselves and not about him personally.

    It turns out he was right to be concerned as when the world starts to reel with the news of the far-reaching relentless spying that government agencies have been doing aided and abetted by the likes of the major cellphone and broadband providers, the NSA and the US Government desperately try to move the focal point by accusing Snowden of traitorous acts rather than attempting to explain why all this surveillance is happening. His life is definitely in danger and the UN consulate in Hong Kong help spirit him away to a safer location whilst they can work out his next move.

    The one thing that one is sure of after seeing Snowden at close quarters and intently watching and listening to him as he shares the information he is about to reveal and explain exactly why he feels the need to take such actions, is that this very regular-type-joe simply thinks that the world has a right to now. He is devoid of any committed political convictions and he even takes great strides to ensure that his actions do not place even the smallest risk to national security. Whatever doubts one may have had about him previously thanks to the highly personal vitriolic backlash in the media that followed the disclosures, they are totally banished when one realises what a responsible and sincere individual Snowden is. He is, in fact, a true patriot and hero.

    Once he was publicly identified as being the Whistleblower, there is a very tense time when he is talking with his long-term girlfriend back home who had no inkling at all of his plans for her own good. Now he worries that the authorities will put pressure on her in retaliation, but one of the high points the movie finishes on is seeing the two of them reunited in their flat in Moscow after the Russians eventually gave him asylum.

    Credit is also due to the intrepid Greenwald who became both the moderator and the front-man who articulately dealt with the world’s media throughout the whole process. His ‘reward’ was British Immigration Authorities ‘detaining’ his partner at Heathrow airport for four hours to ‘question’ him. In fact less we should think that this is whole surveillance thing is a problem for just the American public, Snowden makes it very clear that the UK agency GCHQ have far less legal restraints placed upon them and their spying on all British citizens is probably even more intense and widespread.

    Although the movie ends with the concern of Snowden’s future (the Russians gave him a one year visa) there is naturally the much more vexing question of what will happen to all this wholesale spying once this current furore dies down. The sad thing is, we know the answer.

    P.S. This excellent movie has just won the IDA’s Best Documentary Award and has also been shortlisted for a Nomination for the Academy Award for Best Documentary.

  • FILM REVIEW | Mr. Turner

    ★★★★★ | Mr. Turner

    Mike Leigh’s stunning biopic of J.M.W.Turner is the portrait of the leading English Romantic landscape artist who was evidently also quite a philanderer and misanthrope too. Set in the 1820’s (although Leigh never tells us that) the movie focuses on the last 20 years of the painter’s life when he was at the height of his success and his work was being exhibited at the Royal Academy and also commissioned by wealthy aristocrats.

    Leigh’s story starts when Turner returns from a painting trip in Belgium to his London home that he shares with his elderly father who dotes on him and acts as his studio assistant, and also the sad-looking maid who allows Turner to have his way with her whenever he gets the urge. The maid just seems to be the latest of several mistresses, as the previously estranged one who has two simpering grown up daughters by Turner often comes around to harangue him looking for support which he never ever gives them.

    When his precious father dies, Turner sinks into a deep depression and is even more bad-tempered with nearly everyone he comes into contact with. In one rather glorious scene when he is visiting the Summer Exhibition as it is being hung at the Royal Academy he is openly disparaging about the work of the other Academicians who constitute a veritable who’s who roll call of every major artist of the day (Constable, Stothard, Callcot etc).

    On a trip to the small seaside town of Margate, which would become the inspiration for many of his most famous paintings, Turner meets the twice-widowed Mrs. Booth who becomes his live-in mistress, and later the pair moves to a house in Chelsea where Turner lives out the rest of his days.

    Leigh and his cinematographer Dick Pope don’t just show Turner in action manically slathering paint over his canvasses but also capture evocative and powerful images of the landscapes often at dawn just as Turner would have viewed them. They are a real visual joy. As too are the sets of Victorian Britain that production designer Suzie Davies has lovingly recreated.

    Like all Leigh’s movies, Mr. Turner is created through an improvisational method from which the final script evolves. Enabling his actors to have more input than normal into creating their characters certainly plays off, as so brilliantly demonstrated by Timothy Spall who gives a career-best performance as Mr. Turner. With his expressive squashy face he so convincingly portrays the short-tempered genius that never lets anything distract him from his work. Even when he faces public ridicule after he experiments with his painting style, and also right to the very end when he is on his death bed he cannot but help himself seize one final perfect moment to sketch.

    The talented cast is mainly made up of many of Leigh’s regular actors that include Dorothy Atkinson pitch perfect as the put-upon maid, Marion Bailey as the loyal Mrs. Booth and veteran actor Paul Jesson as Mr. Turner Snr.

    Overly long with a running time of 150 minutes which makes the action seem too slow and stretched out at times, nevertheless this screen biography lovingly gives a wonderful portrait for the only artist to ever now have a whole permanent gallery dedicated to his work at The Tate Gallery in London. Mr Spall’s (potentially) award-winning performance also makes this an unmissable film.

    In Cinemas Now

  • BOOK REVIEW | The Great Discovery, Jonathan Lemieux

    ★★★★★ | The Great Discovery, Jonathan Lemieux

    You know me and my love for erotic fiction – oh, you don’t? Ok, I love words, they are sensuous and arousing, they can make you conjure images that photographers and illustrators may not be able to.

    And as for erotica, I’m not talking heavy-handed Fifty Shades of Blagh either, I’m talking characters, plots and scenarios that you can relate to. This is where Jonathan Lemieux comes in.

    His first of a series of erotic stories centres on Victor, described as the love-child of an Otter, a Bear and a Pig and this sets the tone nicely for the rest of this story.

    Victor and his boyfriend Thomas have reached that point in their relationship where they either split or go down the “open relationship” route.

    Guess which they choose? And, thus opens the floodgates of the Daddy section of this story. Victor realises that this is where his particular fetish lies. Jonathan is very descriptive, and ensures his story has a good amount of sex sprinkled throughout to keep you flicking those pages.

    This leads Victor to online hook-ups and onwards to Bruce, his 50-ish year old bear conquest and his friend Matt. What follows is an interesting and descriptive threesome.

    Jonathan can write, boy can he write – his backgrounds make his characters real, give them depth – odd really for an erotic short story, but worth the investment.

    His background as a visual artist seems to have given him an ability to be very descriptive about the situations he puts his characters into, and these are very 18+ and ain’t for the kiddies! The whole scenario feels real and that adds a certain edge to the story.

    The story is available here as a download or an actual book – take your pick.

    http://www.blurb.ca/b/5413601-the-great-discovery?class=book-title

  • FILM REVIEW | Me, Myself And Mum

    ★★★★ | Me, Myself And Mum

    Guillaume has to ‘come out’ to his entire family but that’s no easy task in this quirky French comedy which has a neat twist on this perennial situation. His problem is that they all pronounced that he was ‘gay’ from birth and have treated him as an effeminate camp boy ever since. The trouble is that he now has to risk their disappointment and wrath by revealing the truth. He is actually 100% heterosexual.

    Allegedly based on the true story of Guillaume Gallienne the director/writer/star of the movie who was a real mommy’s boy. Born into a wealthy aristocratic family, Guillaume dotes on his mother who seems to do little beyond reading and smoking cigarettes looking very bored. stretched out elegantly dressed on chaise lounges, and who insists on treating him as the daughter she never had. He has perfected all her mannerisms to a tee and sounds so much like her that he often gets mistaken for her when people hear his voice. His father is in total despair about him and so lavishes all his attention on his two older athletic sons who he globe-trots with as they follow their very masculine pursuits whilst leaving Guillaume at home. Or worse still, sending him off to a very rough looking town in Spain to learn flamenco dancing as befitting a girly boy.

    Guillaume thinks his mother does know best so he goes along with her firm belief that he is gay and even has a crush on a football jock at the British Boarding School he is banished too. That is until of course he actually realises that he doesn’t really lust after other boys like he should, and it’s quite a shock to even him when he does eventually fall in love.

    Gallienne is a much-loved actor/writer and a member of the prestigious Comédie-Française, and this movie is adapted from his own play with which in fact, he uses to start this film with. With his really odd appearance, this 40-year-old actor not only convincingly plays teenage Guillaume BUT also, by channelling Catherine Deneuve, actually plays Maman too. Both are really joyous performances and simply the reason why this oddball comedy works so very well.

    There are some wonderfully funny passages thanks to Guillaume allowing us to observe him being humiliated so often. And taking all the abuse that is heaped on him in such good humour. This very unusual take on sexual identity does leave you grinning an awful lot.

    Winner of 2 Awards at Cannes Film Festival, this crowd-pleaser of a movie also picked up 3 Cesars (French Oscars) and is now set to hopefully wow Francophile British audiences too.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Dickens With a Difference, Trafalgar Studios, London

    ★★★ | Dickens With a Difference, Trafalgar Studios, London

    What can be more festive than Charles Dickens with his depiction of Victorian London in ‘A Christmas Carol”? Trafalgar Studios has chosen to present a spectacle of an all together different and darker aspect to Dickens’ work over this year’s Christmas period.

    Miss Havisham’s Expectations
    ★★★
    If you’ve not heard of the iconic Miss Havisham then it’s about time you treated yourself to this embittered, grief-stricken woman. Sitting in her rotting wedding dress amongst the remnants of the wedding breakfast that never was, in a dilapidated mansion overrun with mice? Training up a child to wreak havoc on men? That’s my kind of reaction to a messy break-up. Being jilted at the altar and conned out of money is bound to turn a girl’s head a little. ‘Miss Havisham’s Expectations’ adds a new dimension to the story we’re told in ‘Great Expectations’. Finally, in Di Sherlock’s play, she gets to tell her side of the story. Self-aware, funny, sweary and in the full knowledge that she is a fictional character; this Miss Havisham dances, practices conjuring tricks and speaks her mind very clearly. Her views on Dickens’ treatment of women are particularly illuminating.

    Critically acclaimed actress Linda Marlowe (currently Sylvie Carter in EastEnders) gives a superb performance. The sets are adequate; the wedding dress was maybe a little too modern and the play does have the odd moment but on the whole, this monologue packs a punch and is worth a look.

    Sikes and Nancy
    ★★★
    Dickens wowed Victorian audiences with his dramatic readings of his work. Here, James Swanton, takes on the scene from ‘Oliver Twist’ where Nancy is murdered by Bill Sikes. This is high melodrama, bought to life by one man with only a few chairs as props and a clever lighting set to accentuate his storytelling.

    Swanton takes on numerous characters through shifts in voice and facial expressions and takes us through the build-up and aftermath of the crime on what is a thrilling ride. It’s a show that’s received much acclaim and even Dickens aficionado Simon Callow classed it as remarkable.

    A word of caution: There’s a lot of facial contortion, character voices and melodrama. I enjoyed it but my companion was left cold by the show.
    Miss Havisham’s Expectations
    Tuesday 9th December 2014 – Saturday 3rd January 2015

    Watch the trailer and buy tickets here: http://www.atgtickets.com/shows/miss-havishams-expectations/trafalgar-studios/

    Sikes & Nancy
    Performance Dates Tuesday 9th December 2014 – Saturday 3rd January 2015

    Read more here: http://www.jamesswanton.com/sikes–nancy.html

    Buy tickets here: http://www.atgtickets.com/shows/sikes-and-nancy/trafalgar-studios/

  • THEATRE REVIEW: Northern Ballet’s Peter Pan, Leeds Grand Theatre

    Join Peter, Wendy, Michael and John as they fly off against a backdrop of stars to Neverland in search of adventure. Teaming up with the Lost Boys, the friends are never far away from Captain Hook and his band of pirates, who have a score to settle with Peter Pan. But as the battles ensue and the Lost Boys are captured by the pirates, it is down to Peter Pan to save the day, with a little bit of help from Tinkerbell. ★★★★

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  • VIDEO: Slightly Amazing Gay Pick Up Lines

    Are your pick up lines so old that you cannot get laid?

     

    Well to help you through the Christmas Party period American You Tube vlogger Hat has put together a list of hilarious brand new lines to get you noticed. Here’s one example, ‘You remind me of a Sudoku puzzle, because even if you’re HARD I’m going to finish you in 30 seconds!’

    He guarantees if you use his gems you will get laid, or punched on the nose… (but hey, some guys like that too).

    In the video Hat shares his favourite lines and includes a very funny reaction shot from an unimpressed lad, who calls him inappropriate.

     

     

     

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Anything Goes – Sheffield Crucible Theatre and National Tour

    ★★★★★ | Anything Goes – Sheffield Crucible Theatre and National Tour

    It’s all aboard for high camp on the high seas, as the SS American sets sail from New York to Southampton and Billy Crocker stows away on board to chase the love of his life, Hope Harcourt. When he discovers that Hope is due to marry hapless fop, Lord Evelyn Oakleigh, Billy teams up with a gangster, Moonface Martin, Erma, the Gangster’s Moll; and a sassy lounge singer, Reno Sweeny, in an attempt to win her hand. But can Billy avoid the sailors hunting the stowaway, get away with a number of dubious disguises, avoid his unsuspecting boss and get Hope to agree to marry him before the ship docks in Southampton?

    Featuring the songs “I Get a Kick out Of You”; “You’re The Top”; “De-Lovely”, and “Anything Goes”, this 1930’s set musical comedy, which was written 80 years ago, is still an utterly joyous delight. The story has everything you could want from a whimsical musical – a will they/won’t they love story, a genuinely funny, laugh out loud script, some subtle slapstick and elements of farce, mistaken identity, disguises of varying quality, feisty heroines and, of course, a delightful and timeless score and songs which make it impossible for you to resist tapping your feet.

    This art deco tinged production is packed with well-timed comedy, spectacularly choreographed set pieces, good vocal performances and an uplifting sense of fun which proves utterly irresistible. Stephen Matthews delights as the naïve, bumbling toff, Lord Oakleigh, who is bursting with a dark family secret. Hugh Sachs (from TV’s Benidorm) shows his comedic talent as Moonface Martin, in a performance which is reminiscent of Nathan Lane in The Producers; and Debbie Kurup was a sassy bundle of energy in her performance as Reno Sweeney, heading up the tap dancing, show-stopping denouement to the first act and a lively and vivacious opening to the second act.

    The show is well directed and choreographed and is brimming with such energy and you can’t help but get swept along by it. This production is a welcome and well-timed revival of a criminally underperformed show, which has a surprising number of parallels between the 1930s and modern day, in terms of the economy and the public’s interest in celebrity. But the rapturous standing ovation and the number of people singing, tap dancing and laughing as they left the theatre is the most accurate measure of the success of the show.

    Sheffield Theatres annual Christmas musical is rapidly garnering a national reputation as one of the most hotly anticipated theatrical events, and after their award-winning productions of My Fair lady and Oliver! over the last two years, Anything Goes continues the trend.

    Anything Goes is playing at Sheffield’s Crucible Theatre until the 17th January 2015, before embarking on a national tour covering a total of 30 venues up and down the country between now and October 2015. Visit www.sheffieldtheatres.co.uk and http://anythinggoestour.com for information, tickets and tour details.

  • Foggy And Jake Quickenden Compare Package Sizes

    It’s not what you usually expect from good old family entertainment, but the two remaining men of this years I’m A Celebrity Get me Out of Here, compared penises sizes yesterday before a task.

    Looking at their respective costumes ahead of the infamous Cyclone task on last night’s episode of I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, Jake Quickenden exclaimed, ‘Yours is bigger than mine!’ before putting his hands down the front of his costume to readjust himself – as a bemused Carl ‘Foggy’ Fogarty looked down to check out his own tackle. Later on, after successfully completing the challenge, back at the camp, Foggy decided to give the remaining campmates a show, by pulling up his trunks to show off his bulge and spanking his bottom at former Tory politician Edwina Currie, who despite complaining about the show, couldn’t keep her eyes off the former racing champion gyrations.

    Tonight one of the three remaining celebs, Mel Sykes, Jake Quickenden and Foggy will be crowned King or Queen of the Jungle after Edwina Currie was booted from the camp in last night’s episode.

    According to a poll on Digital Spy, Jake Quickenden is favourite to win with 39.5% of the vote, whilst Foggy has 32.6% of the vote and Mel has 27.8%.

    Jake entered the jungle, with Edwina, late when Gemma Collins and Craig Charles left the competition at the beginning of the series.

    I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! airs its finale at 9pm on ITV on Sunday.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Apartment 40C

    ★★★★ | Apartment 40C

    Relationships are difficult things; from their tenuous beginnings through to their rocky patches, moments of pure joy and sometimes bitter dissolutions. Apartment 40c looks at the lifespan of a relationship of a New York couple by looking at their lives over the course of three pivotal evenings.

    Tom Lees and Ray Rackham’s clever new musical uses six actors to play the same two characters at different points in their lives. The characters often mingle on stage, unaware of the existence of their older or younger incarnations.

    Fresh-faced Alex Crossley and Alex James Ellison lend a romantic comedy element to the piece, playing the couple when they first meet in the apartment. Lizzie Wofford and the handsome hunk Drew Weston play the couple as they hit a difficult patch with brooding resentment, differences of opinion and betrayal threatening their once blissful intimacy. Nova Skipp (last seen in the incredible Damn Yankees at The Landor) and Peter Gerald play the couple in later life, returning to the apartment to arrange its sale.

    The story is well balanced with comedic moments, poignant numbers and rousing passionate songs. The music and lyrics are as good as you’d hear in any big West End musical (if not better, at times). Tom Lees and Ray Rackham’s show has a touch of Sondheim about it in places but ultimately has a unique and very distinct style of its own. The cast are spectacular with a standout performance from Lizzie Wofford who has the most amazing voice and is a breathtakingly accomplished actress. Drew Weston’s torso is worthy of a mention too. The sight of his six pack as he strode on stage in nothing but a towel led to a lot of shuffling and creaking of seats in the theatre.

    The set is well constructed and barring a few weak moments, this is an outstanding musical and a rare treat. Catch it while you can and I can almost guarantee that you’ll also catch some rising stars of theatre.

    Apartment 40C runs until the 20th of December at the London Theatre Workshop.