Category: Review
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THEATRE REVIEW | The Nap, Crucible Theatre, Shefield
★★★★★ The Nap | In this comedy thriller, up and coming snooker star, Dylan Spokes (Jack O’Connell) returns to his Sheffield home and is gearing up for his match in the World Championships, but is drawn into a police operation to target match fixing within the sport.
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60 SECOND Movie REVIEW | Grimsby – The Biggest Penis You’ll See On Film – FACT
FILM: Grimsby
Sacha Baron Cohen as Nobby in THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY. Nutshell
This is a very adult comedy action spy movie rather than a spoof which we have seen before. A chav footie hooligan (Cohen) finds his long lost brother who is the UK’s top secret agent/assassin. After wrecking his latest operation they both go on the run across Africa and South America in an attempt to save the world from destruction by shoving things up their asses, sucking each others bollocks and getting covered in a lot of ejaculate. Very funny and very rude and mega sexy Mark Strong stops Armageddon with a dildo up the chuff so what is there not to like.
Time
A tight jam packed 83 mins; Certificate – 15
Tagline
“MI6 Has a Brand New Tool” or “One Secret Agent, One Complete Idiot”
THE GAY UK FACTOR
Mark Strong the thinking man’s Jason Stathan get’s covered in cum not once but twice and this ain’t gay porn is he trying to tell us something.
Cast
Sascha Baron Cohen, Mark Strong, Rebel Wilson, Sacha’s wife as always in his movies Isla Fisher, Benidorm’s very own Johnny Vegas, Ian McShane (Lovejoy), Ricky Tomlinson from The Royle Family and Cold Feet’s own John Thomson and many other cameos plus two Oscar nominated actresses in Penelope Cruz and Gabourey Sidibe.
ADVERT
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Key Player
Like with Borat, Bruno, Ali G, The Dictator etc this is Sacha’s show period. If you like his humour you are quids in if not then give it a miss. He goes a bit over the top here with a 90 minute Liam Gallagher impersonation which does not really hit the mark but not only acts, he is in charge of the screenplay, his misses is the leading actress and other family members take charge of things like music and so on.
Budget
$35 million likely to gross just over 20 million – oh dear so not a Borat size hit then – trouble is for the International market is it is SO English – Jokes about Manchester United fans for example ?
Best Bit
0.48mins; Whilst escaping from a gang of gun toting thugs the brothers have to find a quick place to hide in the middle of the African bush. We won’t tell you what happens but it is one of those scenes that the whole film will get remembered for like Sharon’s snatch in Basic Instinct, the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally or ‘I am your father’ from Empire Strikes Back, yes it is that legendary a sequence.
Worst Bit
26 mins; Sascha Baron-Cohen sucks poison from Mark Strong’s bollocks for a very very long time in front of Grimsby Town footie fans.
Little Secret
None of the film was shot in the Lincolnshire fishing port of the title as the film crew never went further north than Essex. All the ‘Benefit Street’ type look that was used for the Grimsby scenes were planted around Grays and other Essex estates massively to the chagrin of the folks of Grimsby who feel as though they have been misrepresented. Cohen did visit Grimsby for research but thought the town that has appeared in such movies as Atonement was not right for this one, or maybe he got scared.
Movie Mistake
So many bearing in mind the above filming location switcheroo. The very opening scene involving the purchase of a mattress supposedly in Grimsby town centre is then wheeled on a trolley passed many signs saying Grays which is in Essex 5 counties away which is one very long walk akin to a Sports Relief charity fundraiser. Then there is the Essex train station and so it goes on.
Awards
Not a chance in hell but wasn’t made for that purpose purely to provide a bunch of belly laughs to the Cohen faithful of the last two decades who won’t be disappointed.
Further viewing
The Dictator, Ali G The Movie, Kinsgman of the secret service, Spy, The Life of Bryan and anything by the South Park lads
Any Good
Definitely if you like Sacha’s output you will laugh out loud repeatedly. If you are not in the right mood you may find the whole thing a course James Bond lite farce with knob jokes and Cohen just doing his usual schtick. His character is pretty unloveable and probably his most hard to like to date but Mark Strong is a great straight man and the supporting cast he has put together is top notch. We are not expecting a sequel but if they did make one we would be there for sure.
RATING
68/100 (68th place out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK filmatic Heaven and 100 being as much fun as a Matt LeBlanc presenting a British car show outside the Centotaph).
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THEATRE REVIEW | Land of our Fathers
Six miners wait to be rescued in the brutal and powerful ‘Land of our Fathers.’
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Top 10 Easter Eggs
It’s been a difficult job, cracking, sampling and savouring the many chocolate delights available this coming Easter, but an equally important one. Here are our Top 10 Easter Eggs
With so much choice on the market, ranging from pence to hundreds of pounds, we’ve brought you the best of a bunch that taste fantastic whilst not cracking the bank account. You’ll go nuts for the white chocolate and coconut of the aptly named Coconut Egg, which also comes with some tasty truffles.
If you live a dairy, wheat free or vegan life then the orange Moo Free Egg is for you.
The sneaky folk at Chococo have hidden large chunks of honeycomb to the inside walls of their milk chocolate egg. You’ll certainly feel warm after a wee dram of whisky and chocolate from the Famous Names Egg. Beautifully presented comes the sea salt caramel truffles and egg from Prestat. Liquorice lovers will fall head over heals for these delicious liquorice truffles coated in chocolate and edible silver.
Nothing beats the crisp mint of the Elizabeth Shaw Egg and chocolates. The Chocolate Dippy Eggs are perfect for someone who likes to share their treats with six chunky chocs in a pack. A beautiful self standing egg shaped tin from Maxim’s is filled with praline balls that’ll melt most hearts. Finally, the unusual panel shaped egg from Bettys is made with dark chocolate and tastes as good as it looks. Enjoy!
Top 10 Easter Eggs
1. The Coconut Egg, white chocolate with toasted coconut – Tesco £10.00
2. Moo Free Orange Egg – Holland and Barrett £4.99
3. Heavenly Honeycombe Studded Egg – Chococo.co.uk £9.95
4. Famous Names Whisky Collection – Waitrose £10.00
5. Sea Salt Caramel Truffle Egg – Prestat £16.00
6. Lakrids soft liquorice covered in chocolate, crisp shell and edible silver- Souschef.co.uk £19.95
7. Elizabeth Shaw Dark Mint Honeycomb Crisp Egg – Asda £10.00
8. Cocoa Bean Chocolate Dippy Egg Strip – Amazon £15.87 (3 packs)
9. Maxim’s de Paris White Egg with Chocolate Praline Balls – Amazon £7.89
10. Single Origin Brazilian Dark Chocolate Egg – Bettys £25.00
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RESTAURANT REVIEW | 100 Wardour Street
I’ve got a bit of a thing for decadent design, and even before we had looked over the menu, the lounge at 100 Wardour St had me drooling over their 1930s style chairs nestled amongst a cocktail-parlour-deco ambience.
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THEATRE REVIEW | Gangsta Granny, Sheffield Theatre
★★★★ Gangsta Granny | Ben dreads Friday evening coming around – another night when his parents send him to his granny’s house whilst they go ballroom dancing.
Birmingham Stage Company presents Gangsta Granny by David Walliams. -
RESTAURANT REVIEW: Hotel Du Vin Bistro
It seems the loving care and attention of medical staff from the old Birmingham and Midland Eye Hospital have been passed down to the attentive staff of the new Bistro at Hotel Du Vin. I say new as, despite opening in 2007, a few years is nothing in the history of this incredible old Victorian building. ★★★★
CREDIT: Hotel Du Vin Bistro -
THEATRE REVIEW | Northern Ballet’s Swan Lake
★★★★ | Northern Ballet’s Swan Lake
Following the accidental drowning of his brother whilst they were out playing, Anthony’s obsession with the lake grows increasingly, as does his guilt; with his turbulent inner emotions being further compounded by his confusion around his attraction to his best friend, Simon.
Simon is in love with Anthony and their relationship teeters on the cusp of developing into something more, until Anthony’s parents press him towards marriage to Odilia. Torn between his best friend and his parent’s wishes, Anthony’s guilt grows increasingly and he finds comfort and solace in the waters of the lake and in the arms of the mystical creature, Odette.
David Nixon’s choreography brims with an abundance of metaphor within this reworking of a classic. The light, delicate movement of the swans sit opposite the dark, emotional turmoil of the central character; just as swans glide so gracefully on the surface whilst paddling so frantically under the water. Equally, the influence of Anthony’s inner struggle and guilt over his brother and his repressed sexuality ripples out to impact on the other characters, akin to the waves caused by a disturbance on a lake’s surface. The lines of symmetry drawn in the movement across the stage prove mesmerising at times and these gentile moments compliment the dark undertone of the story and the emotional confusion of the central characters – almost a metaphorical white swan and black swan. Elements of the traditional ballet, including the score, remain intact, but the story gives the opportunity for multiple interpretations and parallels to be drawn between the original and reimagined characters. The familiar music took on new meaning with the revised story and the production as a whole packed an emotional punch.
Toby Batley’s portrayal of the tortured Anthony impressed, but it was Nicola Gervasi who stood out as the handsome and fresh-faced Simon, progressing his character with an increasingly self-assured acceptance of his sexuality and a confidence in his feelings towards Anthony. Gervasi is nicely developing as an artist and it was a pleasure to watch his performance. Martha Leebolt and Ayami Miyata were stunning as Odette and Odilia respectively, but the quality of the performance of the company as a whole was incredibly high and the grace displayed, particularly by the female ensemble was beautiful.
Swan Lake is one of the more visually impressive productions that Northern Ballet has recently performed and is a good balance of old and new, although it can be slightly heavy going at times given the darker aspects of the narrative. With the characters reluctance to accept the changes in their relationships, it did put this writer in mind of Brokeback Mountain a little, with reference to the conflict between true feelings and social expectations.
Swan Lake is playing at Leeds Grand Theatre until 12th March 2016, and then touring to Sheffield Lyceum Theatre, Norwich Theatre Royal and Milton Keynes Theatre between now and the 30th April 2016. Tickets and other details can be found at www.northernballet.com.
Northern Ballet’s 1984 is currently available on BBC iPlayer and they will be touring 1984, Jayne Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Romeo & Juliet and Beauty and the Beast during 2016.
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FILM REVIEW | James White
★★★★ James White | Amazing performances and a very original story make ‘James White’ a must see film.
