Category: Review
-
RESTAURANT REVIEW | Wringer & Mangle
The Gay UK team are a clean and fastidious bunch, so it seemed perfectly apt we were invited to the opening of a former industrial laundry in the Big Smoke’s hipster hang-out, London Fields.
We didn’t take our dirty smalls, or our scented-passion-flower-and-ylang-ylang Comfort, or indeed pack our Fairy non-bio washing powder. Twists were for martinis, the only things sodden were the guests’ esophaguses from the plentiful cocktails, and only a few lightweight journos were mangled.
Award-winning mixologist and restaurateur Gerry Calabrese has eighteen years experience, and a few distinguished names hanging from his washing-line of achievements. Calabrese is the founder of the Hoxton Pony and his new venture Wringer & Mangle (W&M). Gerry launched Hoxton Gin, and has worked with The British Fashion Council, Mulberry, and Bentley – there are no stains on him.
To enter W&M you walk through a terrace, and past a Moroccan-style den, where lattice fencing, riddled with ivy, sections off an outdoor seating area surrounding a fire pit. Ideal for an aperitif – so we did. Cushions, candles and outdoor heaters will keep you snug as a duvet in a tumble dryer.
First bevvy of the night, The Bramble Collins: Finlandia Vodka with fresh blackberries, sugar syrup, fresh sage, topped with ginger root and honey soda. Earthy, sweet and bitter, with a twinge of woody-ness from the sage. We washed it down.Walking into the main building, you could be fooled into thinking you’d just entered a high-flying artisan New Yorker’s oversized loft apartment. Concrete ceiling, exposed brick, mismatched tables, a few animal skulls and abstract art cakes the walls. All lit by naked Victorian bulbs and copper lighting – there’s something for the fastwashers, you delicates out there, and for those who just wanna rinse, spin and pump-out – W&M will appeal to the bulk of East London dwellers.
While schmoozing with the trendy-Wendys, happening-hacks and look-at-me-Larrys, canapés were wafted around like incense at a pilgrims’ gathering. Beetroot, goat curd and fig tarts – bland. Mackerel tartar and pickled cucumber – an assertive fishy punch, toned down beautifully by the drunk cucumber – exquisite. Pig’s head terrine and mustard vinaigrette – not too coarse, quality meat, elevated by garlic notes and a grainy sense – yummy.
Our next tipple, The Pre-Wash Collins: Bombay Sapphire, gin-infused cucumber, topped with cucumber and cardamom foam. Its botanical garden aroma teases you first, followed by the texture of a gingery, bubbly lather – then something sweet and spicy happens – the Hotpoint of the night.
Once we’d caught a glimpse of Professor Green and could practically smell the Rizzle Kicks, the mains were being dished out by dishy staff.Braised lamb shoulder with pearl barley and rosemary – the grain was tender, salty and packed undertones of parsley and onion, complementing the fragrant meat – damn tasty.
Autumnal vegetable stew – root vegetables were brought to life in this bowl of warmth and goodness – a superb veg stew.
Smoked haddock chowder – we were just missing a couple of sporrans and some droning highland melodies – almost as good as Glasgow’s finest.
We’ll definitely be Whirlpool-ing our way back to try their ‘Traditional Roast Sirloin of Beef with all the trimmings’ one Sunday – they’ll be no Wringer-ing out ya purse at only £15 a pop. But they can scrub the phallic communal hand soap in the lavs – we’re not asking for an automatic-washer, just quality washroom hand soap worthy of an old washhouse. We left dry-clean, colour-safe and folded back home nicely – care symbol: regular visits a must.
Wringer & MangleREVIEWED BY: Thabian Sutherland
ADDRESS: The Laundry Building, 2-18 Warburton Road, London E8 3FN
RATING: ★★★★ (explained)
COST: £££ (explained)
http://www.wringerandmangle.com -
THEATRE REVIEW: The Bodyguard UK TOUR
Based on the 1992 film of the same name and starring Alexandra Burke and Stuart Reid, The Bodyguard is the story of a pop diva, Rachel Marron, who receives threats from a stalker, leading her managers to employ Frank Farmer, former Secret Service agent and the best bodyguard in the business.
-
RESTAURANT REVIEW: Nam Long Le Shaker
Nam Long Le Shaker has earned a reputation in three decades for late night imbibing amongst the trust fund Ralph-Lauren-shirt brigade, the wannabe Sloane-ranger Fulhamites, and on occasions blue blood and various big-screen prancers wipe the impurities from Old Brompton Road on their doormat. ★★★★
-
FILM REVIEW | Under Milk Wood, earthily sexy
Under Milk Wood | ★★★★
I studied Dylan Thomas’s “Under Milk Wood” for my English A Level, rather more years ago now than I choose to mention and it came as quite a surprise to me to realise that I still remembered, almost word for word the narrator’s first long speech, beautifully spoken here by Rhys Ifans.
“Under Milk Wood” is really an extended dramatic poem for voices. It was first conceived as a radio play, commissioned by the BBC in 1954, with Richard Burton voicing the narrator. Later it was turned into a stage play, and there is at least one previous film (1972) with Burton reprising his narrator role, and with such luminaries as Elizabeth Taylor, Peter O’Toole and Glynis Johns amongst the cast.
Whilst remaining absolutely true to Thomas’s original text, the screenplay of this new film, brings out more than any I’ve seen or heard, the sheer earthy, lascivious and hilariously funny filthiness of Thomas’s dreamscape, a true celebration of the joys of sex. Only most of the sex in this story takes place in people’s minds, their fantasies and desires brought out in full, luscious technicolour glory. The film looks superb, for which director of photography Andy Hollis deserves enormous credit.
Director Kevin Allen has at his disposal an excellent cast of Welsh actors, many of them faces well-known from TV, all perfect for their roles. Rhys Ifans, who also doubles as Captain Cat, is quite as effective as Richard Burton in his long opening speech, his accent, though perfectly intelligible, just that bit more Welsh, where Burton, targeting a 1950s audience, slightly Anglicised his tones.
Charlotte Church, making a very successful screen debut, is cast as Polly Garter. She has a plump, rounded, wholesome sexiness that is absolutely perfect for the fertile baby machine, that the rest of the village like to gossip about.
Ultimately, though, the film is also about loss; loss of community, loss of a way of life. Captain Cat is old and dying and his demise is symbolic of the death of the village Llareggub (Bugger All spelt backwards). There hangs over the film a purveying sense of nostalgia for a time that never waa. Gritty realism is swept away with a click of the camera, and for 85 minutes we can escape into a world of dreams and fantasy. I enjoyed it immensely.
-
REVIEWED: Naked Fitness Training in West London
Yeah, it’s a thing. Exercising and group training in the buff is a relatively new concept (no, those “squats” you’ve been doing do not count as training) and NKD Training’s founder Paul was kind enough to invite me along to try it out. ★★★★
I’ll be honest, this whole endeavour started as an excuse to ogle hot guys working out veiled under the thin disguise of journalism. As the day of my naked group training drew closer I began to have some serious doubts. What if the group was full of creepy fat old men? Or worse, what if it was full of hot young men and that I would actually be the creepy fat old man?!As it turns out, there was a healthy mix of both.
NKD Training is run at the Gym Clinic in West London, a small but well equipped (that’s what they say about me … sorry, too many penis jokes) gym not far from Gunnersbury tube station. The main entrance is closed off during naked training so you have to enter through the back door (not saying a word) into the clean and professional work out space. That just happens to be full of naked men exercising.
The session is divided into two parts: the first is an hour of free gym time in which you are invited to use the facilities as and how you want, dressed in as little as you want – as long as you’re wearing trainers. You can wear shorts during this time, as I did, but you will be silently yet harshly judged by the guys training in the altogether.
The second half of the session is similar to a circuit class, during which Paul takes you through a warm-up – set to your favourite drag queen lip sync music – and then through a solid 45-minute workout. Newcomers are likely to feel strange and probably a bit uncomfortable when first stripping off, but after a while of lunging and crunching and curling, you almost forget that your dick is hanging out while you do it. Almost.
There were some aspects to naked training that were more complicated than I had anticipated. Running on a treadmill was obviously more uncomfortable than I’m used to, but trying to do squats without giving the guy behind you an eyeful of asscrack, that was damn near impossible.
I can certainly see the appeal of naked training and, as Paul explains, the benefits as a personal trainer are significant. “As a trainer there are a lot of benefits. I can see more of the muscles that are working and I can see if there’s an imbalance, say when they’re doing a chest press. You don’t just see the bar moving, you see the muscles that are working, the ones that aren’t and the ones that should be. And it builds a bond, being naked. I don’t know how to explain it.”
It was definitely a unique experience for me, but one that I really wanted try. Not so much to see hot naked guys (again, yes there are plenty of them there) but to come more to terms with my own nakedness. Gay men are often plagued with insecurities about our bodies and the act of stripping off completely in a bold attempt to better yourself takes balls, and not just the ones on display. For most of the men in that room, being naked was the most normal and natural thing in the world. It was the realisation that whether your body is perfect or not, it’s the only one that you’ve got. So learn to love it while you work to make it better. And go on, have a sneak peak at yourself training naked in the mirror. You may be more impressed than you thought.
NKD Training takes place every Sunday in West London and costs £15 per session.
You can also book naked personal training sessions either in your home or Paul’s.
Contact paul@nkdtraining.co.uk or visit nkdtraining.co.uk for more information and to book.Bravely reviewed by Nick Baker
-
CAR REVIEW | Vauxhall Corsa VXR – The Four Wheeled Hooligan. We Love It.
★★★★ | Vauxhall Corsa VXR
The Vauxhall Corsa is a familiar sight on UK roads; no surprise considering it’s the second best-selling car of 2015 with over 57,000 having found homes this year.
Although the majority of buyers will be drawn to the low purchase price, cheap running costs and smart (if inoffensive) looks, there’s a variant that adds something extra, excitement. Step forward the VXR.
Originally launched back in 2007 and heavily reworked along with the rest of the Corsa range at the start of 2015, the VXR takes aim at cars such as the Fiesta ST and MINI Cooper S. Compared to these, it looks something of a bargain at just shy of £18,000. That may be slightly pricier than the ST but it offers more power and a level of standard equipment higher than the cheapest fast Ford. For serious driver’s there’s also the optional ‘Performance Pack’ that’s fitted to our test car.
Regardless of options, the VXR comes with a muscular 205hp from the 1.6 litre turbocharged engine, enough for 0-62mph in a rapid 6.5 seconds. That’s almost half a second faster than the Fiesta ST and enough to make the VXR very entertaining. The engine is certainly effective but lacks the kind of aural fireworks that make for a truly great motor. It’s also some way behind rivals in terms of carbon emissions and economy. While I did manage 40mpg on a long run, my average for a week was nearer 35mpg. A heavy right foot can see this drop below 30.
Still, it’s unlikely you’d buy a hot hatch for cheap running costs. Of more interest will be how it goes round bends, an area the Performance Pack really helps with. For £2400, you gain bigger Brembo brakes, stiffer suspension, larger wheels with sticky Michelin Pilot Super Sport tyres and a race bred Drexler limited-slip differential.
Opt for the pack and the first thing you’ll notice is the suspension; those after a comfortable life should look elsewhere. In day to day use the VXR is very stiffly sprung and can get a little bouncy at times. The pay-off is fine body control when you’re going for it with very little roll and a neutral balance, a good thing considering the vast reserves of grip the tyres serve up.
For me it was the Drexler diff that made the biggest difference. Unlike electronic systems that simply slow a spinning wheel with a dab of brakes, this mechanical device prevents one wheel spinning by locking up making them spin together. Not only does this improve traction but it actively pulls the nose of the car into bends where a normal car would start understeering.
Eventually the nose does run wide but the amount of speed you can carry up to that point is incredible. The VXR may be fast and great fun to throw around but it’s never the most talkative of companions, you’re much more likely to have the wheel writhing with torque steer than sending gentle messages about what the road surface is doing.
Style wise, the VXR wants you to know how quick it is. There are gaping intakes and a chin spoiler up front, a faux diffuser and a couple of big exhaust pipes out back, side skirts, a big rear spoiler and 17 or 18” inch wheels barely hiding those big Brembo brakes. For real boy racers, there’s even a pack that adds carbon fibre effect flourishes to the grille and mirrors. If it were a person it would most definitely be wearing a tracksuit and chunky gold jewellery. It would be an attractive chav though.
The interior is dominated by a pair of figure-hugging Recaro seats (leather is a £1045 option) that along with the chunky leather steering wheel really set the scene. A leather handbrake grip and gearstick gaiter are nice additions although the gearknob itself was a bit too big for my dainty hand. The upper half of the dashboard is nicely finished in soft touch plastics with piano black and chrome trim helping it seem quite upmarket at first.
This illusion is somewhat undermined the first time you reach for the cheap feeling heater controls or feel the hard and scratchy black plastic that covers much of the doors and lower dash. This isn’t an expensive car however and you do get a lot of performance kit for your cash, with that in mind it’s just about acceptable.
Those wanting their hot hatch to be as practical as possible should bear in mind the VXR is three door only, While that undoubtedly helps the looks, the heavily winged seats don’t lean forwards very far making rear entry tricky. Space in the back isn’t terrible though and the boot is far bigger than you’d get in a MINI too.
To sum up, the Corsa VXR Performance Pack feels a bit like a four wheeled hooligan. The exterior styling is brash, it can be physical to drive and it’s a little rough around the edges inside too. On the flip side, it’s vast amounts of fun, fast and not too expensive either. If you’re so inclined, I think it would be an absolute riot on a track day and you’d probably surprise some more expensive metal too. Come and have a go if you think you’re ‘ard enough.
Pros
Exciting to drive
Good value
Looks like a hot hatch shouldCons
Coarse engine
Expensive to run
Could be more feelsomeThe Lowdown
Car – Vauxhall Corsa VXR Performance Pack
Price – £17,995 (£21,590 as tested)
Power – 205hp
0-60 – 6.5 seconds
Top Speed – 143 mph
Co2 – 174g/kmYou might also like:
Reviewed by Alan Taylor-Jones
-
FILM REVIEW | Big Eden – a rerelease of a very much beloved gay film
The award-winning gay romance film Big Eden is celebrating its 15th anniversary by being re-released on VOD and Blu-Ray. ★★★★
It’s a film that takes us back to the simpler times; pre 9/11, a time when the hardest thing one had to most worry about was being single in a large city.
Henry Hart (Arye Gross), a very successful NYC painter, and eternally single, finds out that his grandfather, who lives alone back home in Big Eden, Montana, has had a heart attack. So foregoing a big opening for his latest artwork, and much to the behest of his very pregnant assistant Mary (Veanne Cox), Henry jumps on a plane to be with his grandfather Sam Hart (George Coe).
Going back home, to a state with beautiful lakes and mountains, brings back lots of memories for Henry. First of all, it’s where he met his first love Dean (Tim DeKay), a man who ended up leaving town and getting married. It’s taken a while for Henry to forget about him, including years of therapy. Back home is also where lots of his old friends still live, including Grace Cornwell (Oscar-winning actress Louise Fletcher), now a schoolteacher who was the one who informed Henry of his grandfather’s condition. Henry goes back home to a place that accepts his sexual orientation, times have changed and so has the community. Local busy body Widow Thayer (a very funny Nan Martin) makes it her job to nose into other people’s business and arranges teas for local people to ‘meet.’
Once she sees Henry back in town she arranges a tea lunch for Henry with the local single women, but when she realizes he’s gay, she arranges a tea lunch with the local gay men. But it’s not any of these men that Henry is interested in. He’s back in town specifically to take care of his grandfather and is not interested in dating any of them. But soon enough he finds out that the very good looking Dean has moved back to town with his two sons. Seeing Dean again brings back memories from the past, and also questions as to why they never got together. Meanwhile, Widow Thayer has volunteered to cook dinner for both Henry and Sam as Henry claims that, being a New Yorker, he simply doesn’t know how to cook. So for the first few nights Thayer makes and brings over dinner, but it’s local store owner Pike Dexter (Eric Schweig) who volunteers to take over the cooking duties. He buys recipe books to make the most delicious meals, meals that he delivers to the Harts but always saying that they come from Widow Thayer. When Pike delivers the dinner, he quickly leaves, never staying to join Henry and Sam when asked to. Pike is something of an enigma in town, he’s quiet, reserved, but at the same time tall and strong. Pike seems to be hiding something, is it something about Henry’s homosexuality perhaps? Henry stays on in Big Eden as his grandfather continues to improve, he appears to be in no rush to get back to New York. Will Henry decide to stay in Big Eden permanently and leave the big city behind?
Do Henry and Dean finally hook up? Why is Pike to mysterious? And what does Widow Thayer have up her sleeve next?
Director and writer Thomas Bezucha crafts a beautiful romantic film with characters who could be from anyone’s hometown. The actors are all wonderful in their roles. And it’s a credit to Bezucha and his team that the setting is perfect. Every last detail is thought of and captured on film, and certain shots are set up perfectly, from the beautiful landscapes to the items in the local grocery story. Plus the country and western soundtrack gives the film a perfect flavor. It’s a must that you watch ‘Big Eden’ as it takes us back to a simpler time. It’s one of the most romantic gay films of all time, and proving that yes, you can always go back home again.
‘Big Eden has won numerous Audience Awards at several film festivals and in 2001 was named Best Fiction Feature at the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival and Best American Independent Feature Film plus Best Film at the Cleveland International Film Festival.
‘Big Eden’ is available for the first time on Blu-Ray, new HD version for VOD, which includes new bonus materials.
Available to buy here -
BOOK REVIEW | Educating Simon, by Robin Reardon
Sixteen-year-old Simon’s life is turned upside down when his mother announces that she’s met and is marrying her new partner. ★
Brian, Simon’s future step-father is from Boston, USA. Brian can’t move to England too because of his daughter Persie. So Simon is forced to give up Tinkerbell, his cat and Graeme, his imaginary boyfriend. Moving to Boston puts the shared dream of Simon going to Oxford University at risk.The dream being shared by Simon and his deceased father. In Boston, Simon’s new life is busy both with school work and socially. As part of his school work he is assigned Toby/Kay to Mentor for a Spelling Bee. Toby/Kay is an eleven-year-old trans person, who feels like he was born in the wrong body and wants to start hormone replacement therapy before he hits puberty.Educating Simon was an idea with a lot of potential, but unfortunately none of its potential was realised.Main character Simon writes the story from his perspective in diary entries. His character is un-relatable and doesn’t cause the reader to care about him. The character was also inconsistent. Reardon sometimes getting the mentality, emotional maturity and behaviour of 16-year-old Simon spot on and other times getting it completely wrong.All the other characters felt two-dimensional. Toby/Kay’s storyline lacked depth and felt more like it was about having a trans representative than truly telling her story. Educating Simon is overwritten with pacing that crawled along like a snail. The book doesn’t really get started until at least fifty pages in. The sense of relief when the book finally ends was the main sense of enjoyment.It’s not the worse book I’ve ever read, but it’s pretty close. This isn’t Reardon’s first book and I would be willing read another on of his books but would have low expectations and be wary.Reviewed by Antony Simpson | @antonysimpson -
CAR REVIEW | Mazda CX 3
Mazda are one of the latest manufacturers to produce a competitor for Nissan’s popular Juke crossover. ★★★★
Called the CX-3, it promises a more upmarket feel inside and out when compared to the little Nissan or the Renault Captur. Beneath the distinctive styling is the platform of the Mazda2 supermini albeit without that car’s smaller engines.
While the CX-3 may be roughly the same length as the Mazda2, a more upright seating position gives noticeably more room front and rear along with a bigger boot. Even so, you wouldn’t want to cram three adults in the back for too long especially if they’re tall. Think of it as good for its size but bear in mind a similarly priced Skoda Yeti would give even more space inside.
The Skoda wouldn’t have quite the same level of style as the Mazda though. While the Yeti doesn’t look bad, the CX-3 is a handsome little thing (even in refrigerator white) that avoids looking like its trying too hard to be different like some competitors. Those looks are carried through to the cabin which proved to be a very pleasant environment to be in. There’s a good selection of high quality plastics and leather effect materials but a few too many hard and scratchy surfaces considering the £17,000 plus price tag.
The infotainment system is worth a mention though. The screen is touch sensitive but there’s also a rotary controller between the front seats similar to BMW’s iDrive system. It takes a little getting used to at first but proves much more accurate than prodding at a screen over bumpy roads. Menus are attractive and the sat-nav worked very well too; it all seemed a cut above systems from many rival manufacturers including premium brands.
While an unusually large 2.0 litre petrol engine is available with two power outputs, I selected a 1.5 litre diesel to test. This 105hp unit will likely be the volume seller of the range thanks to its combination of punchy performance and the promise of over 70mpg in front wheel drive guise. Four wheel drive is available but you really need to ask whether the economy and emissions penalty is worth it. Unless you live out in the country or down the end of a farm track, I’d argue it isn’t.
You might think 105hp isn’t a great deal of grunt but then the CX-3 doesn’t weigh a vast amount; this means 0-62mph takes just 10.1 seconds. It never feels fast but then it never wants for more power either. There’s plenty of grunt from low in the rev-range which makes for easy-going progress on motorways too. As with all cars these days, you won’t be matching the official fuel consumption figures but I still managed 50mpg over around 300 miles on a mixture of roads. I don’t hang about either.
Unfortunately, handling proved to be a bit of a mixed bag. There’s a fair amount of body roll but it always feels keen and willing to entertain around corners. Over long undulations at speed it feels quite soft and wallowy which lulls you into thinking this will be a comfortable car. Unfortunately over more pronounced bumps and rough surfaces, it tends to fidget and bounce more than you’d expect. A Renault Captur would be more comfortable for sure although I still preferred the Mazda’s sense of fun. It could be better though.
The Mazda CX-3 is a very likeable little car. I was impressed by the combination of real-world economy and performance on offer; it really was a surprise when compared to rivals. I also felt it looked great inside and out even though the colour did it no favours at all. Unfortunately it is expensive compared to rivals and doesn’t quite have the fit and finish inside to justify the price. I also felt the suspension setup seemed a little unfinished. The MX-5 shows Mazda can clearly make a car that handles, a little of that magic wouldn’t go amiss here. Even so, it’s still my favourite baby crossover.
Pros
Handling
Styling
Economy
Cons
Expensive compared to rivals
Interior feels cheap in places
Pricey
The Lowdown
Car – Mazda CX-3 1.5 2WD SE-L Nav Diesel
Price – £20,995 (£21,535 as tested)
Power – 105hp
0-62mph – 10.1 seconds
Top Speed – 110mph
Co2 – 105g/km
-
THEATRE REVIEW | Dina Martina “Sitting Ovations”
Would you willingly embrace artistic schizophrenia?
Even fiercely kiss your inner, self-hating, subconscious bigot? Join the club. It’s a deliberate, artistic strategy stunningly deployed by stellar gay stars Penny Arcade and Franko B, the spectacular collision of two opposing points of view.
Arguably first expressed in literature by Edgar Allen Poe’s ‘Imp Of The Perverse’ and refined as ‘DoubleSpeak’ by George Orwell’s 1984, it’s contrarianism writ large as art. Which is where manic, barely-sane comic Dina Martina – the probable incest brat of Family Guy’s Stewie Griffin and Ronald McDonald – comes storming in.
Hailing from Seattle, USA, she’s 301 pounds of deeply skewed fun, a human CGI ball of deeply silly putty.
So why mention her size? Because it’s the raw material of her art, darlings, Dina’s comic rocket-fuel, like Jack Dee’s trademark misery. ‘I stick to a high-sodium diet for that lush, larger-than-life look’, she giggles, her huge, plus-size clown’s mouth dilating like a gynaecologist’s nightmare.
Think Heath Ledger’s Joker squeezed in a ball-gown cursed with Michael Jackson’s falsetto, and you too might run screaming for the exit. But wait; this funky assassin in a fright-wig only has one, single target, her own, all-too-willing self. Zoning in on personal pain with the exquisite virtuosity of the Saw torture-flick franchise, Dina masterfully misleads us from moment one.
‘I live a life without purpose’ she sadly observes, but who could possibly take this cosy, human cupcake seriously? And that’s precisely the point; we’re being taken for a brilliantly contrary ride by a Wizard of Oz Munchkin with the super-shrewd crowd perception of Sigmund Freud.
But even with hindsight, it’s hard to adequately conjure Dina’s utterly demented stage entrance. Grinning like a slaughtered, Hallowe’en pumpkin, all Sergeant Pepper frock-coat and ballooning flesh, she pipes out inane, disco lyrics like a hooker on helium.
How do we take her? At face value? Not quite. See, no matter how twisted you are, there’s always someone more extreme. Take dog poo; amateurs eat it dumped and stale, but dedicated gourmets suck it straight out. Just like comedy, in fact, and Dina’s surgically precise freak-show.
And I’m in awe. Frankly, she’s attempting – and pulling off – a knife-edge balance of audience sympathies, by deliberately playing gay public poison Number One, the mincing, often self-loathing cliché. Never met one? Then check out John Inman and Larry Grayson on vintage TV. Still guaranteed to give gay rights activists instant heart attacks, Inman, Grayson and company were the utterly bland, acceptable face of homosexuality for heterosexuals.
Try that now, and you’ll be as ostracised as white actors in blackface playing to Afro-Caribbean audiences. But remarkably, Dina embodies that fluffy, yucky stereotype – the target of mass straight derision – and still melts modern-day gay heartstrings.
And mercifully, Dina’s Sitting Ovations is utterly removed from the vile, exploitative voyeurism of Soho’s deeply morally dubious Box club. Instead, she’s conceptually elegant, a drag Noel Coward of devastating double-takes and exquisitely dry, social dissections. ‘I am currently single’ she quips, ‘due to an unspoken agreement between me and men’.
Okay, so the subtlety’s often swamped in a pell-mell parade of costume changes and video clips of spoof 1980s pop tunes, but it bites. Dina’s cracked, sectioned-on-glee-pills voice sweetly trills of infants raised on booze-filled pacifiers, and middle-aged housewives memorably disfigured by ‘Necrospheres’, facial fillers harvested from spoiled corpses. In other words, USA today through a gorgeously dark, twisted gay looking-glass Oscar Wilde would’ve killed to glance at.
But there’s far more to ‘Sitting Ovations’ than faux-naive vignettes of the grotesque, distasteful and gaggingly twee. Arguably most memorable is a moody, extended reminiscence of an encounter with a (frustratingly unnamed) vintage Hollywood legend. Young, gauche and dumb, Dina’s fabulously dismissed by the aged, but still super-chic madam stabbing a prawn in her cocktail and holding it aloft.
‘This empty husk of a formerly vital creature’ she hisses to a suddenly tomb-silent room, ‘reminds me of you’. Just like anyone rash enough to risk Dina’s quick, eviscerating, Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde wit, in fact. Me, I’m shrewd enough to stay way out the firing line; Dina’s an ongoing, monster talent steam-rolling any unwary opposition, and sometimes – like many reluctant celibates – it’s best to just say yes.
At the Soho Theatre until 24th October 2015
