THEGAYUK

Tag: Fat Shaming

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  • OPINION | Big Boy, Flash That Flesh

    I am currently living next to a building site. A pub has been demolished and in its place will be some affordable family homes. How wonderful.

    Part of me mourns the loss of the pub, but another part of me welcomes the gaggle of hot builders that have begun to frequent the site. As the weather has been rather nice recently, the hot builders have been working topless. Obviously, I approve of such behaviour. Then on a hot, sunny afternoon one of the builders made a huge error. He took his top off and revealed his flabby physique to the world!

     

    As I casually stood in my kitchen with a friend looking out of the window at the talent on display, my friend became disgusted when the larger guy took his top off. I also noticed the other builders winding him up about having his man boobs on display. Personally, I applauded him.

    I have found that in general we are fine with people showing a bit of skin during summer unless they are overweight. I have heard some quite nasty comments about larger people who have dared to wear shorts or take their top off. My opinion is quite the opposite. Why should people have to hide their bodies because they don’t adhere to maintaining an aesthetically pleasing physique?

    The answer is that they shouldn’t.

    Whilst I am all for people having a type that they find attractive, I don’t believe that anybody has the right to criticise or judge someone for being overweight and taking off some items of clothing.

    But then it’s not just about being overweight either. What if somebody who is quite hirsute too decides to take their top off? I’ve witnessed people pretend to vomit when a big hairy guy has taken their top off. Does it really matter? If someone has the confidence to take their top off in public, I say more power to them. I haven’t got that confidence. But then that stems from the kinds of reactions I have just covered.

    Recently I went to Ibiza and for the first time in my life I took off my top and got into the hotel pool. Nobody cared that a big hairy guy had jumped into the water. They just carried on about their business. Perhaps they were just used to tourists like me getting it all out.

    Back in Blighty I have started to go swimming at a local health club. This is after not going swimming in a public pool for ten years due to negative reactions and criticism of my body. It has been a big step for me to take and I was apprehensive about getting undressed in the changing rooms and walking around in just my swimming shorts. With a bit of support and encouragement from my partner I have managed it.

    I am beginning to gain some of the confidence that has become lost over the years. I shouldn’t have to hide away because my body does not appeal to some people. If I was to go topless it would be for me rather than other people, and that is the way to look at it.

    So, big guys, hairy guys and big hairy guys, be proud of what you have. Flash the flesh if you want to and truffle shuffle in the face of anyone who doesn’t like it. You have the power.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | Fat?

    Recently, myself and a friend had a photo taken with a celebrity; he was a reality TV star, porn performer and current member of the dream boys.

    He was sunbathing when we met him and was wearing only a pair of shorts. I was wearing an open shirt and a t-shirt underneath. Of course, he was really charming and looked great and I joked with him and my friends that this would be great for my self-esteem. This would prove worryingly accurate.

    Let me just explain, I’ve always been confident in my own body, I’m not chubby I’m not big boned. I’m fat. I’ve always been overweight since being a teenager and it had been a journey to become comfortable in my own skin. I’ve not exactly led a lazy lifestyle; I didn’t have a car so I walked everywhere. I previously enjoyed hiking and would often walk 10 miles without breaking a sweat. I’m a bigger guy but I’m healthy. I had tried joining gyms and different exercise classes. I even experimented on every fad diet over the years and my body has altered but I’ve accepted that whatever I try I will always be a little bit fat. This can put me at odds within the gay community as I don’t exactly fit into any category, I’m never going to be wearing skinny jeans and a tight t-shirt but apparently I’m not big enough to be a chub.

    Since I stopped fighting this and accepting this I’ve become more confident as a person, like my sexuality; it’s who I am. When I first met my boyfriend and began dating I asked if he was a chubby chaser in a jokey manner. He responded that he thought this was an offensive term and that I wasn’t fat. He said that he loved my body and would hate for me to lose weight. I obviously love him.

    A few years ago I had joined a local gym to get in shape for a hike that I was doing for charity. I was offered a free session with a personal trainer to show me how to work out properly. During the session he made several remarks about how my self-confidence would increase as I lost weight. He also said if I was single, that if I was more toned than I would have no problems with the ladies, After one remark too many I told him I wasn’t that interested in what weight I was or how fat I am, I was there to get healthier for the task of raising money for cancer research, I stated to him that I probably had a better body image than most of his clients if his idea of coaching was to call them fat, I also told him I was gay, know your audience.

    Coming back to the here and now, I am still confident in myself and the body that I own, realistically I’m not a stripper or model, the only six pack I will ever own will be beer. I don’t train every day nor am I ever likely to. Of course I have had snide remarks from vicious queens over the years because of my size but they don’t live in the skin. The only opinion I truly care about is the person who stares back at me in the mirror, because I have to look him in the eye for the rest of my life.

    Confidence is not an absolute it is a state of mind. I had a wobble and momentarily compared myself against someone else and came up short in my own mind. So what did I do? A couple of days later I was supposed to go swimming before work but felt unmotivated to get up.

    I talked to myself sternly, it’s ok to feel unhappy with your body from time to time, but there is only you that have the power to make any change mentally and physically. I used the negative energy to drag my arse out of bed and into the pool.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.