THEGAYUK

Day: 4 February 2018

  • Oscars 2018 – The winners and the ones that should win

    Oscars 2018 – The winners and the ones that should win

    Once again it’s my annual review of the Oscars looking at who should win against who will win at the Kodak Theatre in barmy Hollywood on March 4th, 2018.

    Will this year’s Call Me By Your Name feature in Paul’s Oscar predictions?

    As always the top twenty movies of the last year are wholly absent from the nominations and there is such a wide chasm between what the critics ejaculate over and then win trophies as to what people actually want to go and see, buy popcorn and snuggle with a hot guy in the back row.

    If you are a true movie fan, read on and see what the Oscars should be like if they gave statuettes to people and films folks have heard off and those with a gay bent.

    BEST PICTURE – Should Win: Paddington 2 The highest rated movie in IMDB/Rotten Tomatoes history because every single critic loved it…

    Will Win: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri if the aged voters can put up with all the swearing ‘f*cks’ and ‘c*nts’ throughout, (it is f*cking good though)

    BEST ACTOR – Should Win: Chris Hemsworth’s member in bulging spandex in Thor Ragnarok or Arnie Hammer The Man From Uncle and Lone Ranger kissing a bloke and seeming to love it…

    Will Win: Gary Oldman for the Darkest Hour well that is good make-up for ya.

    BEST ACTRESS – Should Win: Gal Gadot for busting everyone’s balls in the megahit WonderWoman or Emma Watson who with Beauty and The Beast became the biggest box-office female earner of all time and she is British…

    Will Win: Frances McDormand who is very good in an Oscar-baiting way in Three Billboards.

    BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR – Should Win: Dwayne Johnson’s speedos in Baywatch and Jon Hamm’s tight jeans in Baby Driver or possibly Hugh Grant in Paddington 2…

    Will Win: Sam Rockwell in a career-best performance in Three Billboards with the best character arc of all time.

    BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS – Should Win: Keela Settle for her Top 10 charting great gay anthem showstopping song ‘This Is Me’ in The Greatest Showman…

    Will Win: Laurie Metcalf in Ladybird but we preferred her on TV in Roseanne.

    ANIMATION – Should Win: Johnny Depp’s acting in the appalling Pirates 5.….

    Will Win: Coco, yes the incredible out of this world Coco…..is it the best-animated film in history?… quite possibly.

    Best Foreign Language Film – No such thing according to my dictionary but if so it should go to T2 – Trainspotting 2 as we could not understand a bloody word…

    Will win: the Swedish film nominated but there is a Russian nominee, and we all know how they like to fix results in their favour!

    Costume Design – Should Win: Baywatch great tight beach gear on Dwayne Johnson and sex god Zac Efron.

    Will Win: Unfortunately Victoria and Abdul which is the filmic equivalent of sleeping tablets.

    Directing – Should Win: Edgar Wright for the hit of the summer Baby Driver.

    Will win: Guillermo Del Toro for the monster shagging under the sea in The Shape Of Water.

    Editing – Should Win: Baby Driver as it was just so cool.

    Will Win: Dunkirk possibly the most overrated film of the year and boy did it do very poor business overseas.

    Makeup & Hair Styling – Should Win: War Of The Planet Of The Apes by a mile.

    Will Win: The Darkest Hour (Yawnnnnnn !).

    Music – Should Win: Beauty And The Beast or The Greatest Showman both great musicals BUT…

    Will Win: Dunkirk purely because of who the composer was. No more WW2 movies for a bit, please.

    Original Song – Should Win: “Days In The Sun” or “Evermore” from Beauty And The Beast…

    Will Win: This Is Me The new great Gay Anthem from The Greatest Showman still climbing the charts one month on and a trophy will help it gain eternal popularity.

    Sound Mixing – Should Win: Thor Ragnarok, Marvel’s hit of the year and third biggest film ever.

    Will Win: Star Wars The Last Jedi.

    Visual Effects – Should Win: The genuinely incredible record-breaking Fast And Furious 8…

    Will Win: Blade Runner 2049 now officially one of the year’s biggest flops.

    Adapted Screenplay – Should Win: Call Me By Your Name, and it will win too – simply the best gay film since a couple of cowboys f*cked on a mountain without any douching facilities.

    Original Screenplay – Should Win: Baby Driver …

    Will Win: Get Out which was a very clever little profitable movie.

    The Gay Oscar Film of the Year – Baywatch for the sex appeal, Wonderwoman for the camp and Call Me By your Name for taking the LGBT+ film world forward.

    Stunt of the year – Arnie Hammers tonsil cleaning scene with his hot younger lover in Call or 15 separate sections of Fast and Furious 8 THE action movie of the year and the second biggest earner worldwide and boy was The Stath funny.

    Hunk Of The Year – In a year where we had Zac Efron on the beach, pure hot man roles for Arnie Hammer, Chris Hemsworth and Chris Pratt the award goes to…..drum roll… Hugh Jackman who bowed out from Wolverine in Logan after nine movies and even more years with his shirt off showing an eight pack and sweating muscles which has been a work of pure gym and eating dedication for a decade.

    Lifetime GAYUK Achievement Award – Superstud and man mountain Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson the former wrestler with a body to die for and die under started the year with the astonishing Fast and Furious 8 and finished it in the number one slot with Jumanji Welcome To The Jungle knocking Star Wars for six after just a fortnight and giving it a bloody nose or sore ass becoming the Winter surprise hit of the year.

    Obituary of the Year – The Transformers franchise – what a f*ck up, Celebrity cameos Beckham in Robin Hood, Sheeran in Game Of Thrones, McCartney in Pirates, Ade Edmondson in Star Wars… please please make it stop; Also the end of TV movie reboots as Baywatch and CHIPS suffer, and many other careers go pear-shaped (Tom cruise in the terrible Mummy!) as huge blockbusters bomb like never before….The Great Wall, Dark Tower, Pirates 5 and Assassins Creed to name some of the biggest bombs of 2017.

  • Meet the drag queen who isn’t letting her disability get in the way

    Meet the drag queen who isn’t letting her disability get in the way

    If you’ve read my past interviews with Sassi Afrika, you will know that she is indeed as sassy as the name suggests. However, there’s much more to this Queen than meets the eye. Living with a disability, but never letting that hold her back, Sassi Afrika is now on a mission to raise the visibility of people with disabilities at Pride events across the land.

    (C) VERINE LINTON

    “I am passionate because I have disabilities too. I have cerebral palsy that affects the left side of my body, and I have mild learning disabilities.”

     

    Daniel Browne: Sassi, it’s lovely to talk to you again. Thank you for taking the time out for this interview. How have you been?

    Sassi Afrika: Well honey I’ve been busy. You should know that. Everyone else does. I’ve had a great year, darling. My third album, Red Hot, came out at the end of last year. It’s been so well received. Of course, so it should be, but I am grateful for the support my music gets. No Grammys or Brit Awards yet, but I’m working on it. I’ve also been focusing more on the charity work that I do. It’s in my heart. Yes, I do have one.

    DB: That all sounds fantastic. Congratulations on the new album. Let’s talk more about your charity work. What have you been doing?

    SA: As you know, I support the LGBT+ community completely. Well, I am LGBT+, you know. But I’ve become a trustee with an amazing Pride charity and I take the lead on running the LGBT+ youth group, the parents support group, and the social group for LGBT+ people with learning disabilities. Everyone wants a piece of Sassi, but supporting the community comes before anything else. Someone’s got to serve the tea and cake.

    “…people with disabilities should always be included. We should be visible. We are human. We are the same as everyone else. We need a seat at the table, like Solange.”

     

    DB: I keep an eye on what you’re up to on social media and noticed that recently you’ve become more vocal about people with disabilities being visible and included at LGBT+ events. What sparked that?

    SA: Darling, people with disabilities should always be included. We should be visible. I’ve been to many Prides and sometimes feel disappointed that LGBT+ people with disabilities are nowhere to be seen. Especially not as part of the line-up. It’s upsetting. But rather than just be upset, I thought I would do something about it. So, I am working for change. I don’t mean working for the bit of loose change in your pocket, but for people with disabilities to be represented at Prides. I set up the group for LGBT+ people with learning disabilities so that we have somewhere to go. So we can meet new people and not be outcasts. We are human. We are the same as everyone else. We need a seat at the table, like Solange.

    DB: I hear you, and I feel your passion…

    SA: I am passionate because I have disabilities too. I have cerebral palsy that affects the left side of my body, and I have mild learning disabilities. I know what it’s like to be treated differently and not be included. But my disabilities don’t hold me back. I’m here to help others achieve the same thing. We can all be Kings and Queens. Someone told me that the word disability has the word ability in it. So, I focus on my ability and help others with theirs.

    “(Prides need to…) organise some chill out zones for people with physical disabilities and learning disabilities. Consider us. Include us.”

     

    DB: What do you think Pride events can do to promote inclusion and visibility of LGBT+ people with disabilities?

    SA: I think every Pride can do more. LGBT+ people with disabilities need more than access. We need a platform. We need to shine. I feel that some Prides have lots of non-LGBT+ performers, not enough LGBT+ performers, and none that have a disability. There are many LGBT+ people with disabilities who are talented and can bring that talent to Prides. So, people with disabilities need to be included on stage line-ups. For example, I am hosting the main stage at Warwickshire Pride again this year. There’s a plug. I mean, I’m not saying book me, but please do have LGBT+ people with disabilities represented. Talk to us. Get our views. Let us help you plan your Prides. It would also be nice to see stalls that focus on disabilities. Like having disability charities present. Organise some chill out zones for people with physical disabilities and learning disabilities. Consider us. Include us.

    DB: I agree that Prides need to represent LGBT+ people as much as possible, so I wish you well with your mission.

    SA: Thank you. I am sassy and all of that, but I am human too. I care. I want to make a difference.

    DB: What’s 2018 got in store for Sassi Afrika?

    SA: Well I have just told you, darling. Are you tuning in to the same programme? I will be campaigning, but I will also be bringing sass to stages everywhere. I am hoping that more Prides will book me. I have some gigs and hosting jobs coming up. Also, my new single Power Bottom will be out in time for Valentine’s Day. I know how romantic that sounds. I’m just going to be me. That’s 2018 for you.

    Sassi Afrika’s latest album Red Hot is available on Spotify and iTunes. You can follow her on Twitter @SassiAfrika.