THEGAYUK

Day: 17 April 2019

  • The government’s porn database to come online in July

    The government’s porn database to come online in July

    New rules mean that you will have to prove you are over the age of 18 – and be on a database, in order to view porn from mid-July.

    CREDIT: ©-lofilolo-Depositphotos

    Anyone who is watching porn via a British IP address will have to prove they’re of legal age to watch the content from mid-July. The new legislation has many critics concerned about privacy protection. The House of Commons passed the issue quietly on Monday, 17th December 2018.

    Users will need to, from 15th July 2019, register on porn sites with official documents such as a driver’s license, passport or an age verification card. One of the systems in place is called the AgeID system another is called AVSecure.

    The law means that you have to prove you are over the age of 18 before you can access porn sites in the UK and is part of the Digital Economy Act. The rules will apply to any website or platform which offers porn on a “commercial basis”.

    Sites that do not keep a database of its users and their ages maybe blocked to users in the UK.

    Advocates for the new rules hope that the measures will protect children from online porn.

    However, despite its intentions to protect children from accessing porn, the new law will not stop minors from being able to view unlawful content on social media.

    Porn Passes from the Newsagents

    igorovsyannykov / Pixabay

    Plans are being made to make “porn passes” available at local newsagents, which will allow people in the UK who want to watch porn to bypass inputting personal data which proves their age to various porn sites, according to The Independent. It is a way in which people can access porn anonymously once the new law comes into force.

    Buying a “porn pass” means that you will have to hand over personal information to your local newsagent, who will be able to issue you with an anonymous pass, which will allow you access to adult sites in the UK.

    Some of the activities banned by the Conservative government could overtly affect the porn consumption of gay men in the UK – including those who watch BDSM, rimming (facesitting) and fisting.

  • Are you guilty of glistening?

    Are you guilty of glistening?

    Glistening is short for “gay listening” which Alan Downs PhD discusses in his book, The Velvet Rage and apparently we’re all a little guilty of it from time to time.

    Glistening is when you’re sort of (but not really) listening to the guy right in front of you, but scoping out other men in the room – and being relatively obvious about it, so that the man you’re actually conversing with notices that you’re not 100 per cent focusing on him.

    Missing Out On Opportunities

    Recounting a story from one of his patients, Alan says that one guy he knows missed out on a huge job opportunity from a guy who was trying to get his attention at a dinner party. The would-be employee barely even noticed the potential employer right in front of him, because another, more fanciable man entered the room, stealing his attention.

    The job opening would have been of huge benefit, but because of his behaviour, the employer was ultimately put off, because the would-be employee wasn’t present in the moment and actually hugely disrespecting him.

    Give People The Respect They Deserve

    So the moral of the story is to make sure you’re giving people the respect they deserve and listen, fully listen to those who are speaking to you.

  • Victim of sexual assault left devastated by his attack

    Victim of sexual assault left devastated by his attack

    The vulnerable victim of a violent sexual assault says he has been left  ‘devastated’ by the attack.

    The victim was on a night out in Newcastle City Centre when he was subjected to the horrifying ordeal.

    He told police: “I have never been the most confident of people and this incident has really devastated me.

    “My self-confidence is really low and I am very anxious about being in public places with people I don’t know.

    “Even to this day I feel violated, traumatised and angry that this has happened to me.”

    His attacker Zain Osman, 25, of Gerald Street, Newcastle, admitted sexual assault after he approached the victim on a night out and put his hand down the man’s trousers.

    He then pushed the victim’s head towards his genitals.

    Last month Osman was jailed for 15 months at Newcastle Crown Court.

    “Extremely traumatised”

    During the 20 minute attack, Osman bit the victim on the back which resulted in him falling into a ditch where some road works were being carried out. The victim was left with multiple injuries and was extremely traumatised.

    The 26-year-old victim, who has lifelong anonymity, has been described by his family as ‘a trusting young lad who is unable to defend himself’. They have praised the police for getting justice for their ‘gentle giant’.

    They said: “He is so trusting of others, even when he doesn’t know people. It’s not in his nature to be nasty to anybody. He can’t really stick up for himself so how someone could take advantage of him is just incomprehensible.

    “The police have been so supportive from day one and when Osman was jailed, it was a huge relief for us all.”

    Detective Constable Ross Atkinson who led the case explains why protecting vulnerable people and seeking justice for this victim is exactly what police are here to do.

    Det Con Atkinson said, “The morality of Osman who tried to blame the culture of Newcastle to justify his actions is totally inexcusable. He targeted a vulnerable victim and sexually assaulted him. There is no one else to blame for that but himself.

    “The victim is such a lovely young man and this has utterly traumatised him. When he first came forward he was understandably extremely upset and shaken by what had happened.

    “I think there was an apprehension to report it at first thinking we may not believe what he was telling us, which of course was absolutely not the case – we will treat anyone who reports such offences with compassion and our specialist officers will carry out a thorough investigation.

    “My priority throughout this investigation was to really focus on the victim and support him in any way we could to ultimately get the justice he deserves.

    “Osman pleaded guilty to the offence due to the irrefutable evidence put before him. It gave the victim a sense of relief that he wouldn’t have to go through a trial and that he was believed.

    “I think the important message is that no one should be subject to such an assault in any circumstances.
    “It is our priority to protect victims like this brave young man and make sure we do all we can to raise awareness that help and support is available.”

    If you have been a victim of rape, sexual assault or exploitation, whether this is recent or historic, please come forward and contact police on 101, or 999 in an emergency.

    To contact the 24/7 Crisis Helpline contact 03333448283 or find out more about our Sexual Assault Referral Centre by searching REACH SARC online.

     

    Victims can also contact Victims First Northumbria on 0800 011 3116 who will give independent advice and support.

  • Dear The Real Me: You need to let go of the past

    Dear The Real Me: You need to let go of the past

    Dear The Real Me… You need to let go of past baggage.

    Skitterphoto / Pixabay

    Dear The Real Me,

    A lot has been said to you by a selection of men over the years. There have been a lot of hellos, and even more goodbyes. There have been hours upon end of conversation before days, weeks, or even months of torturous silence. You have been compared to songs with backhanded compliments. You have had your strengths praised – your altruism admired – only for these strengths to seemingly become your relationship kryptonite in the long run. There have been promises of forever. There have been I Love You’s galore. Yet, somehow what always seems to stick the most are the things that are said about you and to you. Why is this, you ask? Because you still – even after twenty-eight years – care far too much about what other people might think about you.

    Look at you now, for example – you’re happy, with a man who loves you, in a job you enjoy, in a flat that is … Spacious? However, you still hold on to all of these words from others as if they are scars upon your skin. The tough love of this situation is that you have to grow up, move on, and let go – and the sooner the better. The thing is, the longer you’re holding on to all of this past life baggage, the more it is affecting your current life in the meantime. There’s a reason you’re only allowed one item of hand luggage on the plane – too much baggage and it can take the whole thing down. Worse still you’ve had this happen before, and god knows you don’t want it to be the situation this time.

    Now, I don’t suggest you stop taking on these words just because others have weighed you down in the past. You just need to shred the old to make room for the new; there are a lot of words being said right now that will mean a lot more to you in the years to come than these old words mean to you right now. Listen to him and look at how far you’ve come – look at it all, the big picture, in widescreen, and HD (4K and all).

    You should have grown past those old words by now, and there’s no one but yourself holding you back from doing that. Listen to those new words and remember the journey you’ve been on; remember those bullies, remember coming out, remember each start and each end, and remember that you are a part of something real right now. These are the things you should be holding on to, not the old words that once felt like they were branded into your flesh. To quote (and possibly paraphrase) The Help, “You is smart. You is beautiful. You is special.” Learn to obsess over this. Or at least try, okay?

    It’s a moment of tough love but listen to me, or at least Latrice Royale with the 5Gs … and Good God Girl, Get a Grip. Realise what you’ve accomplished. Realise what you are. Realise what you have, and live for that.

    Love from,

    You (Hoping to soon be just as real as you.)