THEGAYUK

Day: 10 September 2019

  • What’s the best lube to use with a dildo or butt plug?

    What’s the best lube to use with a dildo or butt plug?

    Whether you’re going for a mini vibe or a traffic cone type of toy, you’ll need the right lube, so which is the right one to use?

    What's the best lube to use with a dildo or butt plug?

    We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again – any butt play is going to need to start off with some kind of lubricant. The anus isn’t self-lubricating so you’re going to need lots of it. Depending on the size of your toy you’ll need different lubes for different activities.

    If it’s a smaller prostate massager like the Optimale P Male Slate, which you’re probably not going to be moving in and out and is just going to sit inside you, then you could try just spit. It’s free and simple – everybody has access to that.

    https://www.thegayshop.co.uk/product/optimale-p-male-slate-os/

    However, if you’re going to be using a huge toy, like the American Bombshell Destroyer that you’re going to be riding to show off your skills on Twitter, then you’re going to need a lube that will stop friction and the damage that could cause you.

    https://www.thegayshop.co.uk/product/american-bombshell-destroyer/

    You should check with the manufacturer of the toy because some toys can’t be used with some types of  lube other than water-based. Oil-based lubes are likely to rot or even melt your toy, so keep them away. Depending on the material your toy is made from you shouldn’t even keep toys together without a layer of protection between them, like a cloth or a cotton bag.

    Some toys though are silicone lube safe and this is probably one of the better lube types to use for toy play because silicone lube lasts the longest. Silicone lube tends to be a little more expensive than water-based but generally lasts longer so you could end up using less of it. We like using the ID Millennium lube which comes in a variety of sizes. If water-based is your thing then look no further than the Liquid Silk range of lubes. Liquid Silk has a great smooth texture to it – plus the whiteness of the lube has the added bonus of looking a bit like spunk!

    For extra help in getting the lube where it actually needs to go you could always try a lube dispenser, a genius way of getting lube deep inside your butt rather than just at the entrance.

    Another suggestion is numbing lube if you’re using a massive toy,  however, be careful when using numbing lube. Pain felt while inserting a toy is a useful and important messaging system for you. If you don’t get any feedback from your ass, you could be damaging yourself with tears.

  • DILEMMA | My great boyfriend has a micropenis, what can I do?

    DILEMMA | My great boyfriend has a micropenis, what can I do?

    Dear Dilemmas

    I have an incredible boyfriend, we’ve been dating for about six months.

    We had a long dating period – where we didn’t have sex but decided to go on a series of dates to get to know each other.

    It’s been great to do this because we’ve created a really strong emotional bond. However, After about 2 months we decided to have sex.

    Problem is he has a micropenis. It’s very small. It’s not a total loss – he’s great at sex in general, he gives good head and takes time with everything else. Anal sex though is just out of the question. He really isn’t big enough to get inside me… and that’s a problem.

    I’m a versatile guy and I don’t want to have a relationship where I’m going to be the top forever. As I said he’s the perfect guy. I don’t want to break it up, but can you make it work if the body parts don’t add up to what you need in the bedroom?

    Thomas

    Dear Thomas

    It’s wonderful that you’ve found the perfect guy where you have a strong emotional bond and you took the time to know the guy before having sex – and it sounds as though you realise that dicks, no matter their size only make up a part of what makes the man – but they can be an important part, so let’s see what your options are.

    As you’re six months in you have a couple of options open to you. You could break it off if his size really is a deal-breaker, but are you prepared to let go of the “perfect guy” for this reason alone? Breaking it off because of his size will be a saving grace for both of you. He deserves someone that sees past what you see as a flaw. Remember one man’s small penis is another’s delight.

    However, there are some ideas you can try out.

    It is likely that your boyfriend is totally aware of his penis size and you guilting him about it is a surefire way to turn this relationship toxic. So why not have an open discussion with him about what you want. If you want to be topped but have found it impossible to do this with your boyfriend don’t talk in problems talk in solutions.

    Toys

    Discuss the idea of introducing toys to the bedroom – where he can top you with a dildo. With a dildo, you can go as big as you want. Both he and you can have fun working your way up to sizes you never dreamed of – and you can do the same to him. It takes the pressure off both of you and size doesn’t matter.

    Positions

    You didn’t mention what positions you tried for anal sex. There are some positions where you can achieve penetration, even if he has a small penis. One of which is you on your back, your pelvis raised, with your legs behind your head (or as near as you can get). If you want doggie, simply pull your cheeks apart so that there’s no butt cushion and your hole exposed.

    Sleeves And Extenders

    There are also penis extenders and sleeves which increase the girth and length of the wearer’s penis. See what he feels about wearing one. He may actually want to top you, but his inability to do so could be frustrating the hell out of him too. These sleeves allow heat and feel to transfer right through them, so it’ll feel like he’s actually inside you.

    Threeways

    Have you thought about opening your relationship to having a threeway / fourway? It’s not for everyone and both people in a relationship have to be on board, but it might be an avenue worth exploring. Just make sure you talk about boundaries and expectations before you get a third or fourth involved.

    Reading back over your message there’s a lot of hope in your relationship. You are clearly loving this guy and everything that he brings to the relationship, so celebrate those parts and find solutions for the bits that don’t work so well – and as you said he also gives really good head.

    Have you got a dilemma? Click here to get some advice.

  • FILM REVIEW | The Shiny Shrimps

    FILM REVIEW | The Shiny Shrimps

    ★★★★ | The Shiny Shrimps

    A gay water polo team struggles to compete amidst personal dramas on their way to the Gay Games in the fun, camp and hilarious film The Shiny Shrimps.

    In French with English subtitles, and directed by co-directors and co-authors Cédric Le Gallo (a real-life Shrimp) and Maxime Govare, ‘The Shiny Shrimps is a cross between Priscilla Queen of the Desert and Pride, with a road trip film interspersed with lots of melodrama!

    When straight world champion swimmer Matthias Le Goff (Nicolas Gob) makes a homophobic remark on television, he tries to redeem himself, at the direction of the swimming federation, by being tasked to train The Shiny Shrimps – a Parisian gay water polo team (and purely not athletes) who are in the sport purely for the social aspect of it as well as to be able to perform dance routines and dress up in competitions. So Goff has a huge task ahead of him. all the meanwhile trying to impress his young daughter.

    Other men on the team have their own issues; Cédric is married with two kids and his partner says the water polo team is taking him away from his family, while Jean has health issues he’s yet to divulge to the team, and another team member is newly out and is about to have the time of his life. We are too when the Shrimps travel, by bus, to the Gay Games in Croatia.

    It’s a road trip like no other; they camp it up to the extreme while love, and sadly homophobia, comes into play. And once they get to the games they’ll attempt to make their mark in any way they can.

    The Shiny Shrimps is so much fun to watch it’ll make you want to join some sort of sports team to experience what you’ve just seen in the film. And the cast are having lots of fun, with each actor perfectly suited for in roles. The Shiny Shrimps is une joie.

    ‘The Shiny Shrimps’ is out now in UK cinemas