THEGAYUK

Author: Miguel Martins

  • Why I undressed for Elska Magazine

    Why I undressed for Elska Magazine

    Multiple factors can contribute to the development of the body image, but the biggest influence seems to come from the advertising industry, which unapologetically creates the need on the consumer to look like the ideal men or women portrayed in the media. Smoothing skin, erasing wrinkles, enlarging muscles, slimming waists… All this has become the norm in advertising. These images don’t reflect reality. This is just a convenient strategy designed to sell a product. Yet, from a younger and younger age, people are aspiring to these biologically impossible ideals. And I was no exception! Looking at these distortions of reality, I felt ugly and had the same desire as everybody else to look just as perfect as these models. But I eventually realized that this way of thinking can lead to serious body image problems. People who are unhappy about their bodies can develop eating disorders, turn to diet pills or steroids, or try cosmetic surgery and Botox injections. And I fear that, until the public responds more favourably to images of real people with real bodies, very little is going to change. This is why I decided to stand up and share my belief that everyone has the right, whatever their size or shape, to feel happy about their looks. I defend that a diversity of body shapes and sizes needs to be included in magazines, advertising and on the catwalk URGENTLY!

    A while ago, I discovered Elska Magazine. Created by Liam Campbell, Elska is a bi-monthly male photography publication, whose first edition was released in September 2015.

    Its name means “love” in Icelandic.

    One of the main aspects which differentiate Elska from other (gay) photography-related publications is that it does not feature perfect models, but instead focuses on real people with their “imperfections,” presenting real-life people and their stories, and providing a glimpse at queer men and community around the globe. Each issue is shot in a different city. When I saw an ad looking for real people to model for the Amsterdam issue, I knew immediately that this was an initiative I needed to support. And this why, with no shame or fears, I undressed and posed for Elska. I might not have the perfect body (at least according to the advertising industry), but this is me, I am real, and I learned to love myself and to feel comfortable in my own body. And now I am sharing it with you!

    Elska Amsterdam, the latest issue of Elska magazine, is out now and includes a nice selection of ordinary gay locals and their stories. Sadly, my photos didn’t make the cut for the main magazine, but they are featured in Elska Ekstra, Elska’s companion magazine with behind the scenes tales, outtakes, extra stories, and extra boys. Enjoy it!

    As a famous drag queen would say: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?”

    SEE THE PICTURES

    Pages: 1 2

  • There’s now a gay sauna board game – and we’re so in

    There’s now a gay sauna board game – and we’re so in

    Gay Sauna the Board Game is a brand-new adventure game that has just launched its first Kickstarter campaign. Conceived and designed by Adrian Collier, an avid ‘gaymer’, this gay-minded game brings adult fun to board game fans willing to spice up their playdates.

    The game was completely born in Amsterdam. Gay Sauna the Board Game, which has been under development for more than 2 years and has been through over 20 iterations based on feedback from hundreds of playtests, aims to bring a taboo topic (gay saunas) to the masses in a very fun, naughty, and witty way. The Kickstarter campaign, launched on July 26th, has already reached 20% of the fund total in just 5 days – a key element of success for any Kickstarter.

    “After the idea was in my head for over a year, I decided in Autumn 2018 to leave my professional career in IT Development and investigate if my novelty game idea had any merit,” stated the brain behind the game, Collier.

    “I spent the next months doing a lot of research, prototyping and playtesting to see what I wanted to do with my idea. I created ReRoll Works, a creative organization with the intent to create and publish exciting and funny games for the LGBTQ+ audience, with Gay Sauna the Board Game being just the first in what I hope to be a great series of games.”

     

    The Kickstarter campaign runs until Friday August 30th. The intention is to really help a true entrepreneur with no corporate backing to reach his goal of a launch. For interviewing opportunities with Adrian Collier, contact Anthony Hodge, in Dutch or English: ahodge.vansteenbergen@gmail.com, +31 6 308 616 31. For game testing and questions about playdates, contact: adrian@gaysaunatheboardgame.com , +31 6 152 597 51.

    About Gay Sauna the Board Game Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/rerollworks/gay-sauna-the-board-game

    Website: https://gaysaunatheboardgame.com/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/saunagame

  • This company paraded 12 naked people in full rainbow colours for Amsterdam pride for an amazing reason

    This company paraded 12 naked people in full rainbow colours for Amsterdam pride for an amazing reason

    Amsterdam Pride is an LGBT+ festival held annually in Amsterdam during the first weekend of August.

    The festival attracts several hundred-thousand visitors each year and is undoubtedly one of the largest publicly held annual events in The Netherlands. The peak of the festival is during the Canal Parade. The 24th edition of the parade, which this year took place on the 3rd of August, featured 80 boats, which included a selection of people from the STI clinic at healthcare centre GGD Amsterdam, the fire department, the police department, AIDS Fonds, and the City of Amsterdam.

    While the event preached inclusivity, acceptance, and self-identity, it wasn’t all rainbows. Multiple people have come out reporting attacks and verbal abuse. Early on Saturday morning, a lesbian couple was beaten up by two men on a scooter in Amsterdam city centre. According to the Dutch newspaper Het Parool, they were walking hand-in-hand after a night out when they were attacked.

    The women walked away from the attack with bruises, a broken lip and a swollen nose. On the same day, a gay couple was assaulted by four men. The two victims were walking along the Prinsengracht, their arms around each other. This caught the attention of the four assailants. According to NH Nieuws, two other men held each other’s hands in the backseat of an Uber and gave each other a kiss. The driver allegedly verbally assaulted the couple and spat on their faces.

    All incidents have been reported to the police.

    Because cases like these continue to happen, two days before the world-famous Canal Parade, Polette decided to stand up for LGBTQ+ rights by organizing its own parade while bringing a message of love and acceptance to the streets of Amsterdam.

    Founded in 2011 by Pierre Wizman and Pauline Cousseau, Polette has revolutionized and disrupted the eye-wear industry by challenging the traditional optical establishment. The head office in Amsterdam is the creative centre of the company. The designers draw inspiration from everything around them: fashion, music, art, architecture, and everyday life.

    To celebrate this year’s Amsterdam Pride, Polette decided to create a human rainbow flag. While “remembering the past and creating the future” (the theme chosen for this year’s Pride), the 12 body-painted people (me included) marched from the iconic Dam Square to the Homomonument – a memorial which commemorates all gay men and lesbians who have been subjected to persecution because of their sexuality. Polette also filmed a mini-documentary focusing on how far we came as a community. In this mini-documentary, we hear the different stories and perspectives of the different people who took part in this initiative. Can you relate to any of our stories? Let us know in the comments.

     

    Miguel Martins

    (Mister Senior Netherlands 2018 3rd Runner-Up / Winner Public Choice / Winner Best Talent)

  • COMMENT | Why I’m going to be naked at this year’s Amsterdam Pride

    COMMENT | Why I’m going to be naked at this year’s Amsterdam Pride

    The Netherlands. July 25th. Over 40 degrees. This is the hottest day in the history of the Netherlands.

    And this is happening just a couple of days before the start of Amsterdam’s Pride Week, the largest gay event in the Netherlands and one of the largest in the world.

    The world-famous “Canal Parade”, which occurs every year along the Amsterdam canals, with 80 boats and over half a million spectators, is the highlight of Amsterdam’s Pride week, which will take place between July 27th and August 4th. The theme chosen for this year was “Remember the Past, Create the Future,” an obvious reference to the Stonewall’s riots, happened exactly 50 years ago and which mark a turning point in the history of the LGBTQ + movement.

    Different events will take place throughout the week, such as the Pride Walk, the Drag Olympics, exhibitions, films, concerts, STI tests and many, many parties throughout the city.

    In addition to the official events, many companies are also supporting this cause and will be fighting side by side with us. A good example of this is Polette, a well-known eyewear brand, which I agreed to collaborate with. The brand invited 6 people, me included, to share our experiences while members of the LGBTQ + community.

    The other five people and I agreed to undress emotionally so that we could share our experiences, but also literally. The six of us together, without any shame, will undress, be body painted in different colours and form a human rainbow flag. This human rainbow flag will walk on August 2, from 6 pm, from Amsterdam Central Station to the iconic Dam Square in the historic centre of Amsterdam. Allow me to invite you to join us in case you are planning a visit to Amsterdam on these dates.

    If not, you will be able to watch the documentary which will be released shortly after.

    The question remains: Are Gay Pride celebrations still necessary? According to the latest annual report from the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual and Intersex Association (ILGA), 70 states around the world continue to criminalize same-sex consensual relations. LGBTQ + community members continue to be fired for the simple reason that they are different, people still have to think twice before going hand in hand with their partners in public, as well as plan their vacations taking into consideration which countries should be avoided for safety reasons, not forgetting the unpleasant experience of having to “get out of the closet” to their families and friends. Based on these facts, the answer – at least for me – is obvious: Yes, this is still necessary!

    Miguel Martins
    (Mister Senior Netherlands 2018 3rd Runner-Up / Winner Public Choice / Winner Best Talent)

  • Bullying: Mister Senior Netherlands 3rd Runner-Up Miguel Martins shares his story with Susan Leurs

    Bullying: Mister Senior Netherlands 3rd Runner-Up Miguel Martins shares his story with Susan Leurs

    Mainly engaged in narrative and documentary photography, Susan Leurs is a Dutch self-taught photographer. As a child, she was a victim of bullying. When she started working in education, it became clear to her that bullying was still a serious issue, so she decided to do something about it.

    In 2016, she began taking photographs of and interviewing victims of bullying.

    She called this project “PESTEN” (the Dutch word for bullying). More and more people heard about this project and wanted to participate, including bullies themselves. Her work exposes the serious influence bullying has on the lives of the victims. In her own words, “The people I photograph are either bullied or have bullied someone themselves. My goal is to make people think about what they can do to change this bullying behavior. We are ‘civilized’, but apparently we lack the social skills to accept each other as we are. Think about how you can do something in your environment to prevent bullying!”

    Just like Susan, I was a victim of bullying for many years. I noticed from a very young age that there was something different about me. Growing in a small village in Portugal 30 years ago, I never felt like I belonged. While my male friends enjoyed playing with cars, I preferred playing with dolls or trying my mother’s clothes and shoes on. And all that felt perfectly fine, until people started pointing the finger at me. Experimenting with my mother’s clothes and playing with dolls was just a phase, but my range of interests always made me stand out.

    This became more obvious when I went to school. For being different, I became an easy target for the other kids. Back then there were no discussions about bullying. I’m not even sure that there was a name for it back then. But the fact is that a group of kids repeatedly and intentionally caused me emotional harm.

    I remember feeling alone, isolated, and humiliated. And yet I did not tell a single person what was happening to me. The main reason why I decided not to tell anyone about it was because being bullied made me feel extreme shame and embarrassment. I knew I was being bullied because of something that I was very sensitive about: my sexual orientation. To talk about the bullying would require me to highlight what I believed was my “defect.”

    The thought of bringing up my “defect” to an adult felt worse than the bullying itself. Also, I was afraid of retaliation.

    I feared that reporting my bullies wouldn’t do any good. Instead, I worried that my bullies would only make my life worse. I naively hoped that, if I kept quiet, the bullying would eventually stop. But, because no action was taken, the problem escalated. Suddenly I was not only being bullied because of my sexual orientation anymore, but also because of a nervous tic that caused my eyes to twitch (“Don’t wink at us – they would say – we’re not faggots like you!”), or even just because I was a good student. At this point, I would be bullied for pretty much anything. This started when I was 6 years old, and it continued until I was 18.

    Suicidal thoughts went through my mind countless times. I guess I was just too afraid to attempt against my own life. But let’s not forget about all those who can no longer cope with the pressure and feel like suicide is the only way out.

    It wasn’t until I came to terms with my sexuality much later that I took away the power that the bullies had over me. Finally, I accepted me as I am and there was nothing else that they could hold against me. I eventually forgave all my bullies, but I will never forget what they put me through. I cannot forget, because even today I must deal with the long-lasting effects that so many years of bullying had on my self-esteem and on my self-confidence.

    If it happened now, I would bring the issue to someone’s attention.

    In my opinion, we fear what we don’t understand. I believe that by educating people we can help them understand, accept and hopefully recognize the important value of diversity in our society. And if education is not enough, other actions must be taken. It is important that we don’t ignore the issue, because nothing will ever change if we ignore it.

    Mine is one of the many stories that victims of bullying shared with Susan Leurs. So far, more than 100 people have posed for Susan and shared their stories with her. Some are victims. Some are repenting bullies. Together we share our very own experiences and try to create a world in which diversity and inclusion are the rule and bullying no longer exists.

    Susan Leurs is still looking for more stories. If you were bullied, or if you bullied someone, or if you would like to host this exposition, feel free to contact Susan Leurs directly: https://www.susanleurs.com/contactme.

    Let’s remember what Jung once said: “I am not what happened to me. I am what I chose to become.”

    Miguel Martins

    (Mister Senior Netherlands 2018 3rd Runner-Up / Winner Public Choice / Winner Best Talent)

  • COMMENT | Gay, 35 and single

    COMMENT | Gay, 35 and single

    I’m 35 years old (how many years is that in gay years?)

    Free-Photos / Pixabay

    I’m single and I have been for quite some time. Most people my age have settled down. Some met a long time partner, a husband or a wife. Many already have kids.

    As I get older, I find it more and more difficult to avoid questions such as: When are you going to get married? How come that you don’t have a partner? Do you never think about having kids? Countless times I used excuses such as: I’m too focused on my career right now. I’m too busy for a relationship.

    I want to travel first before I settle down. All those are true, but in all honesty, the main reason why I didn’t settle down is very simple: I just haven’t found the right guy yet. Yes, I do have high standards, and I wouldn’t settle for less.

    Why is his not an issue?

    While we live in a society that makes us feel as though being single is something to be concerned about, it really isn’t how I perceive it. I was n a couple of serious relationships. Was I happier then? No!

    I think it is a common mistake to assume that we need someone to make us happy.

    In my opinion, that couldn’t be further from the truth. My happiness doesn’t depend on anyone but me.

    I wouldn’t put the key to my own happiness in someone else’s pocket.

    Imagine what a responsibility it would be for the other person!

    Also, let’s not forget about the many advantages of being single: I can focus on my career, I can travel on a whim, I have more time to pursue my hobbies, I can have the full bed for myself…

    Basically, I can do whatever I want whenever I feel like it. And I am so much more relaxed emotionally!

    What really makes me happy?

    qimono / Pixabay

    Being single allowed me to get in touch with myself and to (re-)discover the true beauty of the little things that we often take for granted: seeing a beautiful sunset, stargazing, eating my favourite meal, listening to my favourite song, dancing like there is nobody watching, falling asleep while the rain gently beats against my window, swimming naked, making someone smile.

    Does this mean that I would like to be single forever? Absolutely not!

    It would be great to find someone special to share all these things with. I am definitely open to that possibility.
    My point is: That it doesn’t define my happiness. I would so pleased if people would stop asking me why I’m still single.

    Instead, ask me if I’m happy.

    Miguel Martins – Mister Senior Netherlands 3rd Runner-Up (www.facebook.com/MyOwnFado)

  • COMMENT | Is Pride still necessary?

    COMMENT | Is Pride still necessary?

    Amsterdam is warming-up for Pride 2018! But is Pride really still necessary?

    Participants at the famous Canal Parade of the Amsterdam Gay Pride 2014.

    At a very early age, I realised that, unlike my colleagues in school, I felt more attracted to boys than to girls. As a young boy growing up in a small village in Portugal 30 years ago, I had no clue about what to do with those feelings. Homosexuality was not mentioned at home or in school. It wasn’t discussed on TV either. The only few times that I heard about it, it was in a negative, mocking way, which made me feel like something was wrong with me, and that being gay was something that I had to hide.

    30 years later, a lot has admittedly changed. In Portugal, for instance, same-sex marriage has been legal since 2010. And The Netherlands, where I live now, was the first country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage in 2001. But is this the case of every single country in the world?

    According to an annual report by ILGA (International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association), 72 countries and territories worldwide continue to criminalize same-sex relationships, including 45 in which sexual relationships between women are outlawed. There are 8 countries in which homosexuality can result in a death penalty and dozens more in which homosexual acts can result in a prison sentence.

    Despite these facts, many straight people insist on asking me: Does it really make sense to still celebrate Pride? Their main argument is that there is no such thing as a Straight Pride. Please let me ask you:

    Have straight people ever been attacked or fired for merely being straight? Do straight people have to worry about holding their partner’s hand in public? Do straight people’s vacation plans have to be made by taking into account which country not to travel to for fear of being imprisoned because of their sexuality? Have straight people ever had the unpleasant experience of having to come out to their family and friends?

    Are you still wondering why there is no Straight Pride? Or are you just happy that you don’t need one?

    This year, Amsterdam Gay Pride (the largest gay pride event in the Netherlands, and one of the largest in the world) will take place from July 28 to August 5, and it will pay particular attention to human rights. The annual boat parade, which sees the canals lined by over half a million spectators, will take place on Saturday, August 4. Boats of, among others, Amnesty International, Greenpeace and the College of Human Rights were proclaimed this year by the organization as “Pearls of the Parade.”

    I will be there! May I invite you to join me?

  • COMMENT | As LGBTs many of us were bullied as kids, so why do we continue to bully as adults on dating apps?

    COMMENT | As LGBTs many of us were bullied as kids, so why do we continue to bully as adults on dating apps?

    While growing up, I remember feeling like I did not belong.

    CREDIT: Ryazan / BIGSTOCK

    Somehow, I never seemed to meet the expectations that society had planned for me. And because I was different, I was constantly bullied. This happened from first grade to the end of High School (from 6 to 18 years old). The bullying I experienced was so traumatic at times, I’m still feeling the effects today. But I chose not to be a victim! I learned patience, perseverance, and dedication. Now I really know myself, and I know my voice. It is a voice of pain, but each pain has made me stronger, each betrayal more intelligent, and each experience wiser. I finally realised that being different makes me unique and that is my power!

    “I finally realised that being different makes me unique and that is my power!”

    It is true that a lot has changed since I was bullied, but I am afraid that it is still not enough. In recent years, a series of bullying-related suicides across the globe have drawn attention to the connection between bullying and suicide. Though many adults still see bullying as part of being a child, it is a serious problem that leads to many negative consequences, including suicide. And this needs to change! My hope is that by raising awareness to this issue one more kid will get help, so he won’t get discriminated or bullied.

    But more than addressing the discrimination from the outside world, I deem it necessary to also raise awareness to the increasing discrimination within the LGBT community. “No Asians, no black people, no femmes, no fatties, no oldies…”: This kind of language can easily be spotted on gay dating apps. Our community has been oppressed by the outside world for so many generations. Why do we insist on doing it to ourselves now?

    Are apps doing enough to respond to user discrimination?

    I cannot answer that, but I am hoping that by talking about these issues we can raise awareness and hopefully encourage people to be kind to each other. We already have the outside world against us.

    Miguel Martins (www.facebook.com/MyOwnFado)

    – Mister Senior Netherlands 2018 3rd Runner-Up

  • Mister Senior Netherlands 3rd Runner-Up volunteers to continue his work as a LGBT rights defender

    Miguel Martins might not have won the big title in the Mister Senior Netherlands pageant, but he became the 3rd Runner-Up and the winner in the categories Public Choice and Best Talent. Now he volunteers to continue his work as an LGBT rights defender.

    In January of this year, I was selected as a finalist of the 1st edition of Mister Senior Netherlands – a beauty and personality pageant in the Netherlands. What makes this contest so special is the fact that, for the first time, a competition of this kind is created for men over 30 years old and without any age limit. Personally, I never considered myself particularly beautiful, but I believed that with my life experience, I could add something to the competition. To my satisfaction, the jury responsible for selecting the finalists saw something in me and gave me an opportunity.

    Why did I decide to apply?

    In the last two years, in addition to my work as a translator and reviewer of clinical literature, I have had the opportunity to work as an actor and photo/commercial model in the Netherlands and Belgium. I started by receiving offers for smaller projects, but now I’m starting to be invited for more interesting projects. However, I am still in a situation where I must search for work in these fields. My goal is to have employers looking for me instead. For this, I need to make myself known. This is how the idea to participate in the Mister Senior Netherlands contest came to me. I thought it would be an excellent platform to make myself more visible.

    My goals have gained a new dimension

    However, during this 5-month journey to the final, my goals have gained a new dimension. I have written articles for entities such as Gay Star News in the UK, Hornet in the United States, dezanove in Portugal, among others. I decided to write very personal and honest articles, even if that meant exposing myself to the world. As a result, I have received messages from people from all over the world, who have read my articles and who have, in one way or another, identified with my personal story and the issues I addressed, and who wanted to thank me for raising awareness for these subjects and let me know how they felt impacted.

    Public Choice and Best Talent Winner

    After an enriching 5-month journey, the Grand Finale of the 1st edition of Mister Senior Netherlands took place on Sunday, June 17th in Barendrecht. Unfortunately, I did not win the big title, but I am happy about the fact that it stays in very capable hands. As for me, I got a spot in the podium as the 3rd runner-up, and I won in the categories Public Choice and Best Talent. I would not be completely honest if I said I was not sad about my position in the podium, but I can honestly say that it gave me equal satisfaction to win in the Public Choice and Best Talent categories. The jury members who evaluated us do not know me and had to base their evaluation merely on what they saw on that stage. The fans, however, followed us along this 5-month journey. Having been chosen by them made me feel really special.

    As for the victory in the talent act, I confess that this was the best moment of the night for me. For my talent act, I decided to tell my personal story through a choreography with a very strong message. I am talking about the story of someone who grew up in a small village in Portugal and always felt like an outcast, who always felt afraid of being judged or rejected. Throughout my whole childhood and adolescence, I was bullied just for being different and not conforming to what society expected of me. The bullying I experienced was so traumatic at times, I’m still feeling the effects today. This is the story that I wanted to share.

    I presented my choreography shirtless, wrapped in bandages that showed my fragility and my broken parts, referred to in the letter of the song that I chose to accompany the choreography. Those who watched the movie The Greatest Showman will certainly be familiar with the tune “This is Me,” in which you can hear:

    “I’m not stranger to the dark
    Hide away, they say
    ‘Cause we don’t want your broken parts
    I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
    Run away, they say
    No one’ll love you as you are”

    Written on my half-naked body were words like “fag,” “freak,” and “weak,” showing me weakened by the cruelty of the world, but never defeated. On the contrary, I was fighting this cruelty throughout my choreography, using the world’s cruelty as ways of becoming immune and winning this battle. Because it was such a personal story, I felt each move with an intensity that is difficult for me to describe. After my performance, I was under the impression that it went much better while practising at home than when I presented it to the jury. I thought I had not been able to get my message across in the way I intended. When they announced my name, however, I had proof that my message not only was understood, but it also touched the people who witnessed my performance. I spent so many hours every day working on the preparation of this choreography, and since there was a lot of physical effort, my body was full of bruises and my feet full of blisters (which, in a convenient way, fit the lyrics and message I wanted to convey). It was worth all the bruises!

    What comes next?

    I do not feel like, after the final, the end has come. On the contrary, it is the beginning of a new and exciting era for me. For sure, I will continue to be part of the Mister Senior Netherlands family and be involved in different activities related to the contest.

    Although I have not won the big title, my message, my motivation and my goals remain the same. In my opinion, the main duty of a Mister (winner or not) is to contribute to a kinder, more accepting world. Since there has been a huge interest in my story, I believe that right now I have an excellent opportunity – and the duty! – to use my current visibility to contribute to a better world. I thought of several causes to which I could devote myself and it seemed appropriate to devote myself to something that concerns me personally and where much still needs to be done. I decided to devote myself to defending LGBT rights. At this moment, I am still not sure about what is the best course to take. For the time being, I intend to continue to raise awareness to issues affecting the LGBT community. But I would like to contribute with so much more! So, I would like to invite all of your readers who might be reading this article to contact me if they believe I can help with any initiative or project. I remain available and at your service.