I’m 35 years old (how many years is that in gay years?)
I’m single and I have been for quite some time. Most people my age have settled down. Some met a long time partner, a husband or a wife. Many already have kids.
As I get older, I find it more and more difficult to avoid questions such as: When are you going to get married? How come that you don’t have a partner? Do you never think about having kids? Countless times I used excuses such as: I’m too focused on my career right now. I’m too busy for a relationship.
I want to travel first before I settle down. All those are true, but in all honesty, the main reason why I didn’t settle down is very simple: I just haven’t found the right guy yet. Yes, I do have high standards, and I wouldn’t settle for less.
Why is his not an issue?
While we live in a society that makes us feel as though being single is something to be concerned about, it really isn’t how I perceive it. I was n a couple of serious relationships. Was I happier then? No!
I think it is a common mistake to assume that we need someone to make us happy.
In my opinion, that couldn’t be further from the truth. My happiness doesn’t depend on anyone but me.
I wouldn’t put the key to my own happiness in someone else’s pocket.
Imagine what a responsibility it would be for the other person!
Also, let’s not forget about the many advantages of being single: I can focus on my career, I can travel on a whim, I have more time to pursue my hobbies, I can have the full bed for myself…
Basically, I can do whatever I want whenever I feel like it. And I am so much more relaxed emotionally!
What really makes me happy?
Being single allowed me to get in touch with myself and to (re-)discover the true beauty of the little things that we often take for granted: seeing a beautiful sunset, stargazing, eating my favourite meal, listening to my favourite song, dancing like there is nobody watching, falling asleep while the rain gently beats against my window, swimming naked, making someone smile.
Does this mean that I would like to be single forever? Absolutely not!
It would be great to find someone special to share all these things with. I am definitely open to that possibility.
My point is: That it doesn’t define my happiness. I would so pleased if people would stop asking me why I’m still single.
Instead, ask me if I’m happy.
Miguel Martins – Mister Senior Netherlands 3rd Runner-Up (www.facebook.com/MyOwnFado)
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