THEGAYUK

Author: Stephen Hughes

  • 10 things you never knew about Miss Hope Springs

    Hope Springs Eternal.

    The perfect antidote to election fatigue is coming to a town near you. Miss Hope Springs the former international Las Vegas showgirl is currently touring the UK with her new show The Devil Made Me Do It.  Illuminating the stage with sequins and bringing a ray of rainbow sunshine, Miss Hope Springs has a black humour and intricacy of lyrics which will resonate with anyone who has clawed their way to the top and chipped every manicured nail on the way back down.

    More than drag, Hope Springs is a composer, lyricist and comedy cabaret act, with a performance harking back to the good old days of variety shows.  A civilised evening of intelligent entertainment, witty, comedic and heartfelt songs, Miss Hope Springs will treat you to belly laughs and teary eyes in equal entertaining measure.

    A five-star evening out for anyone looking for a break from the norm.

    Shuggie Hughes delves deep into Miss Hope Springs Below:

    1. What should every woman try at least once in her life?

    I think every woman should, at least once in her life, try getting in touch with her deepest inner parts. If, like me, your husband won’t help out then get a professional in to help. It’s good to blow away those cobwebs. My husband Irving said I’m a born psychologist, or is it psychopath? Well I know it’s something to do with the mind.

    2. You have been linked to Manilow and Liberace would you say you have a type?

    I always have a thing for men with that understated masculine energy. Like Noel Coward…and your Julian Clary. He really does something for me! Liberace was just adorable. His subtle sense of style…A little on the macho side for my taste…but still.

    3. What did the devil make you do?

    You’ll have to come and find out for yourself at one of my shows darling. The Devil Made Me Do It is a tell-all musical romp down my own personal memory lane through my original songs and revealing stories from my Ritz to the pits life. And trust me…it’s not always a pretty sight!

    4. What is the best advice you’ve been given?

    ‘They’ll never buy the cow if they can get the milk for free’. I don’t know what it means …but I like the sound of it. My grandmother Elke Seltzer used to say it to me all the time when I was a little girl growing up in Paradise, Nevada (a trailer park) just outside Las Vegas. She was a strip…I mean exotic dancer.

    5. Who is your musical inspiration?

    Well as you know I am a composer and lyricist and my tastes are pretty broad. My influences go from Cole Porter and George Gershwin to bands that are totally ‘down-with-the-kids’ such as The Beatles and The Carpenters. No one can say I haven’t kept up with the times.

    6. What does fame/stardom mean to you?

    It’s a heavy torch to carry sometimes. Especially when you’re doing a quick dash round Lidyl in sequinned kaftan, huge sunglasses and matching turban-kitten heels combo, you know…when you just want to be incognito. People keep staring at me and pointing, often shouting things like ‘There she goes…I saw her she shove half a dozen of them down her Spanx.’ You get used to the attention though. I think it’s rather sweet. I don’t know where I’d be without my fans…

    7. What is on your bucket list?

    Funnily enough. A bucket…Can I have a spade and a plastic crab too? Oh and one of those little flags? Seriously though. I plan to win a Daytime Emmy, an Oscar and the Nobel Peace Prize.

    8. What are the last three items on your credit card statement?

    Vaseline, a macrame plant holder and a crate of Cif.

    9. What quote do you live by?

    ‘Carlos! Open the Sauvignon Blanc and it better be chilled to perfection or else.’ (Carlos is my husband’s delightful hairdresser pal. We all share a camper van in Dungeness. When Irving told me he was getting a little camper I was like ‘I don’t think that’s possible!’

    10. What is one thing you wish you knew when you were younger?

    To start lying about my age sooner. Once I started it was too late to go backwards. I’ve been 39 for 30 years now and I think it might be wearing a bit thin. Listen…I’m no angel…but I get by…and one word of advice for those of you who may find yourself in any kind of trouble…just say Hope told you to say The Devil Made Me Do It!

    Miss Hope Springs is currently touring the UK – Links Below:

    https://www.ents24.com/uk/tour-dates/miss-hope-springs

  • THE GAY DAD DIARIES | Buying bras…

    THE GAY DAD DIARIES | Buying bras…

    Being a dad is hard, being a gay dad harder; being a gay dad to a teenage daughter is mind boggling. This week it has mainly been about bras. Now as a gay man of nearly forty with a rapidly increasing waistline and a rapidly receding hairline the last place you expect to find yourself is in the teenage underwear section of M&S. My daughter has decided this week she needs support in a certain area.

    The extent of my underwear shopping consists of logging on and ordering Calvin Klein 3 pack of briefs still in a medium, just.

    The choice of colour is red, black or white but I have been known to push the boat out and buy some pink on occasion. Now I am thrust into this world of uplifts, padding and underwire. The choice of colour and styles is overwhelming as the aisles and aisles of bras stretch out in front of us.

    At this point I think both me and my daughter are both feeling a touch embarrassed so I do what any gay man worth their salt would do and engage the services of the friendly female shop assistant. This would surely ease the tension all round and allow my daughter to be fitted with her underwear properly and allow us to exit in as short a time as possible.

    how to buy a bra if you're a gay dad
    CREDIT: jackmac34 / pixabay / CC

    After explaining why we are here I safely deposit my daughter with the shop assistant only to hear at earth shattering levels, “I am not putting a bra on in front of her!” Pulling my daughter aside I make clear there is no reason to change in front of the assistant she is merely there to help and ensure the bra fits.

    Drama avoided, I take a seat in the men’s section and await the return of both. After what seems like an eternity they return with several items discreetly wrapped with nothing more for me to do than pay the bill.

    We both have a sense of relief as we leave the shop. Bras bought and no more to be said on the subject. Or so I thought. On returning home, like any girl after a shopping trip, she disappears upstairs to try on her newly purchased items. Then the voice from beyond, “DAD! DAD! these bras don’t fit me.”

    That’s it for this week. I’m done with bras. Next week periods…

     

  • COLUMN | The Gay Dad Diaries

    COLUMN | The Gay Dad Diaries

    Being a dad is hard, being a gay dad harder; being a gay dad to a teenage daughter is mind boggling.

    CREDIT: CC0 Public Domain / artursfoto
    CREDIT: CC0 Public Domain / artursfoto

    This week it has mainly been about hair. Now the extent of my knowledge of hairdressing extends to getting a pubic-looking perm through my flowing locks back in the 90s.

    This wasn’t in any top salon but in the back kitchen of my friend’s house with a home perm kit and her Grandma’s rollers. So when my daughter boldly announced that for her upcoming birthday she would like “highlights”, I thought how difficult can it be?

    Going to the barbers is easy – you turn up, wait your turn, have a session on the clippers a smudge of gel and off you go.

    First, you have to find a salon. But I had this bagged, a quick post on Facebook and my Mummy friends who may or may not have completely natural hair colour advised me of a few places to try. Having made this decision I contacted them to get a price, as even I am not stupid enough to think it’s a £9.00 trim with a £1.00 tip. The science of hair colour, however, means there is no price list, a consultation is required. The consultation duly booked, I headed to the salon with my daughter.

    Even as a gay man, this world of women’s hairdressers was a revelation to me. Foils, full head, half head, natural colour, dip dye. The stylist was talking a foreign language. Now my daughter, who at home has no reservations in expressing her vocal opinion, was too slightly overwhelmed. She sat in the chair and nodded politely at every question asked of her without confirming one way or another, what she actually wanted. This seems to be the way with women’s hair.

    So after sitting in the chair failing to agree or disagree with anything and flicking through a colour chart, much like the ones you get in B&Q to choose paint samples only with little sections of hair, we are booked in for a full head of foils on said birthday. The stylist has confirmed she will, “Keep it natural.”

    Whilst making no comment in the salon my daughter said, “It better not be natural, I want people to notice I’ve had my hair done.”

    To top it off, I am still no wiser on the price. It will depend on the cut and the type of colour used so anywhere between £65.00 and £100.00.

    Imagine if the barbers charged dependent on the clipper guard used?

    That’s all for this week, I’m done with hair. Next week we are shopping for bra’s…

  • THEATRE REVIEW | The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas, The Belgrade Theatre, Coventry And UK Tour

    ★★★ | The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas, The Belgrade Theatre, Coventry And UK Tour

    Set in Auschwitz, the show follows the developing relationship between two nine-year-old boys on opposite sides of the fence.

    Having read the book and seen the film due to my morbid fascination with the Holocaust and this general period in our recent history I was delighted to see The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas was coming to the stage.

    Being a touring production the set and staging was basic but magnificently executed giving the audience the real sense of the austerity of the concentration camp. The old typewriter being projected on the back screen was an excellent effect adding to the ambience of the piece.

    Whilst I applaud the young actors in terms of the amount of lines they had to learn, I did feel they failed to connect with the audience for two reasons – diction and projection. Much of the dialogue was lost because the voice volumes were so low and were also lost in the regional accent.

    This was not the case throughout as sometimes the young actors did explode into full on stage school mode, which was not appropriate for this subject matter.

    Helen Anderson shone as the Grandmother; her singing in German was most definitely my highlight, as was her acting masterclass.

    The closing of the show lacked the poignancy of the film and for me should have finished at the closing of the gas chamber doors allowing the audience to draw their own conclusions, the additional narration was just unnecessary.

    Whilst not a 5 star show, it was a very affable afternoon and I would recommend, especially if you have not read the book, seen the film, or like myself have researched the Holocaust in minute detail.

    Pleasant not award winning.

    Touring Nationally, for tickets visit http://www.theboyinthestripedpyjamas.com/tour-dates.php

  • COMMENT: Is technology killing conversation?

    At the risk of sounding like Peter Kaye – do you remember the time when you had to call people on the landline and arrange to meet in the pub to catch up on all the gossip?

    When the phone was generally situated in the hallway, attached to the wall or placed on a telephone table and you had to close the sitting room door so your parents couldn’t hear your intentions. Harking back to a time before the internet and smart phones where we actually had to engage in the art of conversation.

    It sounds positively Dickensian nowadays but we actually had to talk to each other be that via the telephone, or meeting and enjoying the company of others.

    They have blamed the smoking ban for the demise of pubs and clubs, but I would have to attribute it to the technological age. Back in the day we had to make arrangements, there were relays of phone calls ensuring everyone knew where and when to meet. Thursday was the pre-amble to the weekend, where you would meet up at the local gay bar for a chat, and plan the weekend’s events. You had to describe your weekend outfit in graphic detail, no photographs available. No facebook, no twitter, no apps, no way of finding anything out apart from word of mouth. Now in the age of instant messaging, we seem to have lost the art of socialising.

    Online you can chat, arrange to meet, have full blown virtual relationships. I remember when you actually had to get out there, speak to people, engage in face to face contact. On screen, you are missing out on a look, a touch, the chance to experience another person’s charisma. Have we lost the ability to do this?

    I am not a technophobe and have reluctantly engaged in this new world of virtual friendships and break into a cold sweat at the thought of being unable to log into facebook for more than an hour, however it brought it home when I found myself and my partner sitting in the same room having an online conversation over a post, we were less than a metre apart. Is this a reflection of how far we have come, we now only communicate via memes and messages of less than 140 characters.

    Whilst I am not looking back to the pre-mobile age looking through rose tinted glasses, I am questioning whether or not the next generation will actually have the ability to converse without the use of hashtags and emojis. If meeting in the local gay bar will be a thing of the past and we all Skype from home drinking our own gin and never have to leave the comfort of our own underpants.

    Embracing technology does not mean we have to lose the art of socialising. However, I must now text my partner who is currently triple screening (phone, tablet and TV) to see if we can meet in the sitting room later and ignore each other for another few hours.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Are Gay Dads Being Left Out In The Cold?

    We now have same-sex marriage; a long fought fight to gain the same rights as straight couples and although the law has changed to reflect this, have attitudes actually changed on the ground?

    I am a gay father of a 10-year-old girl and an 8-year-old boy. Whilst I have to say I have not experienced a vast amount of homophobia with the children myself and my partner, there is still a distinct difference being made.

    Book a family ticket at the theatre, a theme park, or any other venue where this is an offering and I can almost guarantee they will expect Mum, Dad and 2.4 children. When you turn up as two Dads with the children there is still an audible gasp of horror that we have the bare-faced cheek to call ourselves “a family”.

    Families nowadays come in all shapes and sizes and having gay parents is just another variation on the theme.

    I have certainly experienced the palpable disgust at two men daring to take children to the theatre and expand their cultural horizons.

    Try taking the children to the park, people still look disapprovingly at the fact there are two men daring to love children and are bringing them up to be respectful, accepting and tolerant individuals, imagine that?

    People are generally not vocal in the presence of the children but I have experienced the shooing of other children away from mine, as if having gay parents may be catching. In fact I wish it was, my children are fully aware of what it means to be gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender. They are not judgemental in anyway and realise every person regardless of their sexual orientation has the right to love another. There are no prejudices in this household. Honesty is the best policy as children are able to fathom a lot more than we tend to give them credit for and look at things with a far more simplistic logic that us as adults seem to have lost.

    Although strides have been made in the acceptance of gay couples, I still feel there is a long way to go for gay parents. Two dads, two kids, two dogs, we are just a family – We can’t all be Elton and David but surely we can all be accepted.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Is Your Sex Drive Polar Opposite From That Of Your Boyfriend?

    We all remember that first flush of love, when you meet that one man that pushes all your buttons to the point you have to leave the pub early because you just can’t keep your hands off each other. Sex is all consuming and you just can’t wait to see each other to get straight into bed, on the sofa, on the stairs, in the back of the car. But what happens when the initial flush of lust begins to fade and you find that through the process of domestic bliss you and your partner have very different sex drives.

    My sex drive has not waned from the levels of testosterone I felt as a pubescent schoolboy and still experience spontaneous erections and a desire to have sex every day, twice per day and three times on Sunday. My partner on the other hand having burned himself out during the honeymoon period has a very different and lesser sex drive. Whilst I would have to describe our sex life as good and satisfying I still want it more. Despite the assumption many gay men prefer to be promiscuous and involve other people to purge this desire for sex, it is possible to remain in a committed monogamous relationship when your sex drives are polar opposites.

    Finding the common ground is definitely the key, but when you are as rampant as an adolescent on Viagra and your partner would rather have a cup of tea where do you go? Planned sex? I can think of nothing worse than having a date and time in the diary of when you are going to get conjugal with each other but the allure of guaranteed sex after a night or dinner out does have its benefits. Spontaneity and allowing the partner with the lower sex drive to instigate sex will help but can be as frustrating as waiting for the number 9 on a Sunday service.

    Acceptance is the key, I had to see the point from the other side and that not everyone wants or needs as much sex as I do. Do I really need as much sex as I want? The answer is no. I accept that I have a wonderful partner, we share everything, have fun, a fulfilling sex life and a great life together, sex is an added bonus not the key to our relationship. I am more hung up on the act of having sex than the love and intimacy that goes with it in a committed relationship and accepting this and being able to discuss it with my partner has made the fact we have differing sex drives a non-issue.

    We have great sex, quick sex, long sex, bad sex, what do I have to complain about? We are in a long-term partnership and still having sex. Just not enough.