Being a dad is hard, being a gay dad harder; being a gay dad to a teenage daughter is mind boggling. This week it has mainly been about bras. Now as a gay man of nearly forty with a rapidly increasing waistline and a rapidly receding hairline the last place you expect to find yourself is in the teenage underwear section of M&S. My daughter has decided this week she needs support in a certain area.
The extent of my underwear shopping consists of logging on and ordering Calvin Klein 3 pack of briefs still in a medium, just.
The choice of colour is red, black or white but I have been known to push the boat out and buy some pink on occasion. Now I am thrust into this world of uplifts, padding and underwire. The choice of colour and styles is overwhelming as the aisles and aisles of bras stretch out in front of us.
At this point I think both me and my daughter are both feeling a touch embarrassed so I do what any gay man worth their salt would do and engage the services of the friendly female shop assistant. This would surely ease the tension all round and allow my daughter to be fitted with her underwear properly and allow us to exit in as short a time as possible.
After explaining why we are here I safely deposit my daughter with the shop assistant only to hear at earth shattering levels, “I am not putting a bra on in front of her!” Pulling my daughter aside I make clear there is no reason to change in front of the assistant she is merely there to help and ensure the bra fits.
Drama avoided, I take a seat in the men’s section and await the return of both. After what seems like an eternity they return with several items discreetly wrapped with nothing more for me to do than pay the bill.
We both have a sense of relief as we leave the shop. Bras bought and no more to be said on the subject. Or so I thought. On returning home, like any girl after a shopping trip, she disappears upstairs to try on her newly purchased items. Then the voice from beyond, “DAD! DAD! these bras don’t fit me.”
That’s it for this week. I’m done with bras. Next week periods…
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