Author: Thabian Sutherland
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RESTAURANT REVIEWS: The Narrow, Limehouse
Cussy-Chops’s (Gordon Ramsay’s) hard graft has been decorated with numerous Michelin stars since 1993 – the Gordon Ramsay group currently own 25 restaurants globally.
For Cussy-Chops, running a nosh-house is much like Karl Lagerfeld designing a red-carpet dazzler – a natural. His top table, Restaurant Gordon Ramsay at Royal Hospital Road London, is one of only four eateries in the UK that currently hold three Michelin stars.
Last month THEGAYUK were invited to sample Ramsay’s culinary fare, minus reality-TV cameras, to see if there is ‘Hell’ in The Narrow Limehouse London’s ‘Kitchen’.
In 2007 The Narrow’s doors were first flung open, and it’s clear that was the last time the interior received any TLC. She’s neatly situated by the Thames – from the conservatory, your view to the left is the financial hub of London, and to the right, the Shard beams at you in all its phallic glory. Despite this sophisticated location, there’s a feeling that you could be visiting your great-grandma in her residential home – sun-bleached blue sofas and a complete lack of attempt to hide the B&Q-style window frames.
The gastro pub’s toilets matched the standard of a Wetherspoon’s during the World Cup. Cussy-Chops and his Kitchen Nightmare team should get back on the road and head to Limehouse and address his own flagging decor.
We were seated in the Nana’s glass-house and offered an apéritif – cocktails seemed appropriate.
Devil in Disguise: Leblon Cachaca, Green Chartreuse, Martini Bianco, white Cacao and lemon. A slight undercurrent similar to tequila with herby notes. In the description, the Devil boasts: Our creation to expose chocolate and lemon magnificent compatibility – hm. Got the lemon, maybe they overexposed the chocolate. Refreshing all the same.
Internacional: Bacardi Superior, apricot-infused Martini Rosso and Kümmel. If you could drink a Cuban version of Chanel Coco Mademoiselle, this is what it would taste like. An original, heavily-scented imbibe that jabs with potency and flavours of cumin.
Good service in a Ramsay gaff is like buff, topless bar staff at Ku Bar – totally expected. We weren’t disappointed. NoF Words passed our lips – the staff were knowledgeable and treated us as if we were regulars.
To oil the food devouring, our waiter chose a bottle of Gouguenheim Valle Escondido Malbec, Mendoza 2014, from Argentina. A deep red, rich and forceful number – aromas of currants chocolate and cherries with a lasting finish. Malbec-n-marvellous.
To start, from the specials’ board: goat’s cheese and spinach ravioli. Al dente and piping hot – the goat cheese’s strong flavour didn’t overpower but gave a notable presence. Delicious.
Our other starter: Potted salt beef with apple, pickle and sourdough. Think pastrami minus the pepper. A decent pub potted meat.
For a Tuesday night, Gordon’s gaff was simmering with locals who’d come straight from the office or schlepped from their Limehouse pied-à-terres, giving the riverside eatery a warm and relaxed atmosphere.
For our mains: Wye Valley duck breast with port sauce, confit garlic and sautéed potatoes. The duck was succulent and pink in the middle, verging on the sweet side, beautifully mirrored by the rich sauce.
commendation: the 10oz Aberdeenshire ribeye with peppercorn sauce. Ribeye can be riddled with fat, thus spoiling the consumption. This was a quality cut of beef, tender and without a fat infestation. The sauce was light, not too creamy – the corns liquified on the tongue.
We shared a couple of sides: creamy spinach and rosemary hand-cut chips. The spinach was fluffy and the chips were crisp, but seemed to have detached themselves from the rosemary.
Belt loops by pud time were feeling the pressure – but we soldiered on.
We shared a banana sticky toffee pudding with Purbeck salted caramel ice cream and, from the specials, a vanilla creme brûlée. Our waiter, who had a slight touch of the Robert Downey Jr’s about him, urged us toward said sticky pud – we were jolly pleased he did. The velvety sponge brimmed with banana and flattered the premium south-west ice cream.
The brûlée slipped off the spoon like gazpacho – it wasn’t set. A good crunch to the head and the vanilla pulled through.
Finally, a couple of espresso martinis to aid our navigational system for the journey home – more ice-lolly than flat-white – lush.
Dear Cussy-Chops, take some spondoodles out of your ever-expanding bank account and spruce up The Narrow- one facelift and you’ll have yourself a pretty respectable gastro pub – just sayin.
REVIEWED BY: Thabian Sutherland
ADDRESS: 44 Narrow Street, London, E14 8DP
TELEPHONE: +44 (0) 207 592 7950
EMAIL: thenarrow@gordonramsay.com
WEBSITE: https://www.gordonramsayrestaurants.com/the-narrow/
RATING: ★★★★ (explained)
PRICE: ££££ (explained)
Tipping Policy: A discretionary service charge of 12.5% will be added to your bill.
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ART REVIEW: Invisible Treasure At Ovalhouse
If you fancy being imprisoned in a room floored with orange faux grass, ceilinged with a projector screen, housing a cow-sized white rabbit with robot eyes for 70mins – read on.
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RESTAURANT REVIEW | Wringer & Mangle
The Gay UK team are a clean and fastidious bunch, so it seemed perfectly apt we were invited to the opening of a former industrial laundry in the Big Smoke’s hipster hang-out, London Fields.
We didn’t take our dirty smalls, or our scented-passion-flower-and-ylang-ylang Comfort, or indeed pack our Fairy non-bio washing powder. Twists were for martinis, the only things sodden were the guests’ esophaguses from the plentiful cocktails, and only a few lightweight journos were mangled.
Award-winning mixologist and restaurateur Gerry Calabrese has eighteen years experience, and a few distinguished names hanging from his washing-line of achievements. Calabrese is the founder of the Hoxton Pony and his new venture Wringer & Mangle (W&M). Gerry launched Hoxton Gin, and has worked with The British Fashion Council, Mulberry, and Bentley – there are no stains on him.
To enter W&M you walk through a terrace, and past a Moroccan-style den, where lattice fencing, riddled with ivy, sections off an outdoor seating area surrounding a fire pit. Ideal for an aperitif – so we did. Cushions, candles and outdoor heaters will keep you snug as a duvet in a tumble dryer.
First bevvy of the night, The Bramble Collins: Finlandia Vodka with fresh blackberries, sugar syrup, fresh sage, topped with ginger root and honey soda. Earthy, sweet and bitter, with a twinge of woody-ness from the sage. We washed it down.Walking into the main building, you could be fooled into thinking you’d just entered a high-flying artisan New Yorker’s oversized loft apartment. Concrete ceiling, exposed brick, mismatched tables, a few animal skulls and abstract art cakes the walls. All lit by naked Victorian bulbs and copper lighting – there’s something for the fastwashers, you delicates out there, and for those who just wanna rinse, spin and pump-out – W&M will appeal to the bulk of East London dwellers.
While schmoozing with the trendy-Wendys, happening-hacks and look-at-me-Larrys, canapés were wafted around like incense at a pilgrims’ gathering. Beetroot, goat curd and fig tarts – bland. Mackerel tartar and pickled cucumber – an assertive fishy punch, toned down beautifully by the drunk cucumber – exquisite. Pig’s head terrine and mustard vinaigrette – not too coarse, quality meat, elevated by garlic notes and a grainy sense – yummy.
Our next tipple, The Pre-Wash Collins: Bombay Sapphire, gin-infused cucumber, topped with cucumber and cardamom foam. Its botanical garden aroma teases you first, followed by the texture of a gingery, bubbly lather – then something sweet and spicy happens – the Hotpoint of the night.
Once we’d caught a glimpse of Professor Green and could practically smell the Rizzle Kicks, the mains were being dished out by dishy staff.Braised lamb shoulder with pearl barley and rosemary – the grain was tender, salty and packed undertones of parsley and onion, complementing the fragrant meat – damn tasty.
Autumnal vegetable stew – root vegetables were brought to life in this bowl of warmth and goodness – a superb veg stew.
Smoked haddock chowder – we were just missing a couple of sporrans and some droning highland melodies – almost as good as Glasgow’s finest.
We’ll definitely be Whirlpool-ing our way back to try their ‘Traditional Roast Sirloin of Beef with all the trimmings’ one Sunday – they’ll be no Wringer-ing out ya purse at only £15 a pop. But they can scrub the phallic communal hand soap in the lavs – we’re not asking for an automatic-washer, just quality washroom hand soap worthy of an old washhouse. We left dry-clean, colour-safe and folded back home nicely – care symbol: regular visits a must.
Wringer & MangleREVIEWED BY: Thabian Sutherland
ADDRESS: The Laundry Building, 2-18 Warburton Road, London E8 3FN
RATING: ★★★★ (explained)
COST: £££ (explained)
http://www.wringerandmangle.com -
RESTAURANT REVIEW: Nam Long Le Shaker
Nam Long Le Shaker has earned a reputation in three decades for late night imbibing amongst the trust fund Ralph-Lauren-shirt brigade, the wannabe Sloane-ranger Fulhamites, and on occasions blue blood and various big-screen prancers wipe the impurities from Old Brompton Road on their doormat. ★★★★
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Theatre Review: How Does A Snake Shed Its Skin?
What happens when you combine a squiffed-up Marilyn Monroe, a calorie conscious Margaret Thatcher and a suicidal Virginia Woolf – throw in three filing cabinets, a bucket and some schizophrenic-style storytelling? ★★★
A trichotomy of a supposed glimpse into the minds of influential women, whisked in with a smidge of self loathing, bipolarism and an 11-year-old girl desperate for some love – we give you Susannah Hislop’s one woman show.
Watching Hislop is sort of like watching Eddie Murphy playing numerous characters in the same scene, with a touch of Vanessa Feltz’s meltdown on the first Celebrity Big Brother, and a slight undertone of Edwina Currie’s parties-for-one on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. It’s an interesting combination.
Diary reciting, grapefruit and pill lobbing, famous quotes and letters piece together this helter-skelter performance that unveils the implausible but believable similarities linking the trio. Susannah focuses on the not-so-positive elements of Thatcher’s, Woolf’s and Monroe’s lives and ultimately is doing so for the same reason why Eric Pickles avoids mirrors – to feel better about herself.
Hislop has that Judi-Dench-being-interviewed draw – instantly likeable. But unlike the oven-timer for the Bake Off’s show-stopper, it could do with winding forward a few mins.
Written and performed by Susannah Hislop
Directed by Anna Ledwich
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Ray The Gay Builder Gets Married
Gaydio-celebrity, eastender, ex-boxer, and pink helmet-donner Ray Bulloch the self-proclaimed first openly gay builder has just tied the rainbow-knot.
Ray sprinkled his fairy dust all over the press last year when his fifteen-year-old building company came screwing, hammering and drilling its way out the closet, pink transit van in tow.
We’ve all heard: “Why have a gay friendly builder, when you can have a friendly gay builder” – that’s our Ray.
Bulloch met his long term partner Micky (Michael Watson), 52 who works in the theatre, fifteen years ago on an AOL chat room. Their first date was a trip to London’s Victoria to see Bombay Dreams at the Apollo – Ray said, “we are like chalk and cheese, but it was love at first sight”.Ray and Micky decided to walk down the Chelsea Town Hall aisle on Sunday 27th September at 1pm – not only because they love each other, but they wanted to give one another peace-of-mind if anything happened in the future. Bulloch said, “Micky doesn’t have a big family, and now he will”.
Ray decided to lose the pink tool belt, helmet and drill and opted for matching grey, with subdued light grey over check, Hugo Boss whistle-and-flutes – with of course, matching powder pink shirts and cerise pink paisley ties.
The wedding reception was held at Bluebird on the Kings Road, a handful of confetti throw away from the wedding venue. Bulloch said “I just want our 50 guest to celebrate our wonderful day”.
The only sad thing about the day is that Reggie (a shiatsu), Scooby (half staffie half english bull terrier), Ronnie (tabby cat), Louise (a one-eyed cat) and Elvis (a blasphemous parrot) couldn’t attend – they all live with the newlyweds and are a big part of their family.No doubt the five family members that weren’t allowed at the wedding, were treated to a piece of the Choccywoccydoodah wedding cake when Ray carried Micky over the threshold.
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THEATRE REVIEW | The White Feather
A New British Musical written by Ross Clark and directed by Andrew Keates ★★★★★
Union Theatre is a poky, spit-and-sawdust kinda playhouse. Once you’ve walked through the patio, you’ll be drawn into a small but amply sized bar with a piano nestled in the corner, bare brick walls, basement-jazz low lighting and a sort of smell that evolves from years of fermenting damp, old stone and no doubt decades of booze spillage. Utterly charming – even it you’ve no intention of watching a production you must pop by for a swift one or a caffeine fix.
Award winning journalist Ross Clark’s story highlights that allied soldiers were executed for cowardice, by British soldiers during the First World War, focusing on an underage recruit and some homosexual turmoil. Director Andrew Keates, also a trophy holder, breathes life into Ross’s quillings with emotion-elevating lyrics and compelling numbers that are implemented by nine talented actors.
Set in a village in Suffolk the performance confronts class hierarchy, a strong sibling bond, a sexuality struggle, and the injustice of how young men with no real political views were brainwashed to fight. A head stirrer with core-fondling harmonies.
Emma Cardinall (played by Cameron Leigh) brought a slight element of Downton Abbey meets Are You Being Served to her segments while Edith (Katie Brennan) could easily have walked in off the streets of an East Anglian village she was so lifelike. But the shiniest bauble on The White Feather’s theatrical tree is Georgina Briggs (Abigail Matthews) – pitch perfect. Abigail, buy your ticket to Hollywood and don’t forget to pack a red carpet number.
To learn what occurs in the Union Theatre trenches, and to see how the many layers of The White Feather unfold, no military tactics, tanks or weapons needed – just hop on a tube to SE1.
Union Theatre, 204 Union Street, London SE1 0LX – Wednesday 16th September – Saturday 17th October 2015Tickets are available starting at £15 from the Union Theatre Box Office and www.uniontheatre.biz – 020 7261 9876
by Thabian Sutherland -
THEATRE REVIEW | Captain Show-Off! Open Air Theatre 2015
One amphitheatre, throw in Carry On Cleo and Up Pompeii, with a pinchus of Widow Twankey, equals: Captain Show-Off – oh yes it does!
Phil Willmott from Gods & Monsters Theatre (GMT) has played with the Roman comedies of Plautus and put together a family show that will give gladiators of all sizes a decent 75min diaphragm workout – for the price of a Trojan Horse – totally freeus.
Roman identical twin boys Aroggantius (Eddie Eyre) and Timmidius (Paul Kendrick) were separated at birth – their mother Queen of Waitros travels to Tesgos in searchus of the missing sonus – but ends up in a kinky encounter with landlord Stenchapix’s (Joseph Wicks) pointy poker.
A case of mistaken identity mixed with a couple of love stories, slaves, and a dash of audience participation. All stirred in with shoulder-shaking vocals that could penetrate the most elaborate Roman armour, delivered by Foximinx (Anne Odeke). Odeke shone as bright as Apolla and was the clear ruler of the stage Empire.
Stenchapix was no doubt also separated from his twin at birth – you’ll feel Frankie Howerd’s presence throughout the performance.
GMT’s work should be applauded for bringing theatre to all walks of life without gold crossing palms. The Scoop is as easy on your bum as the first few rows of Rome’s colosseum 70 AD – ya might wanna bring a cushion.
London’s Free Open-Air Theatre Season 2015:
Part of the More London Free Festival The Scoop,
More London Riverside,
London SE1 2DB
Wednesday 5th – Sunday 30th August 2015
www.godsandmonsterstheatre.com