THEGAYUK

Category: Comment

  • COLUMN | Who Said Valentine’s Was Reserved For Couples?

    Sometimes I wonder if I am the only person who enjoys being single on Valentine’s. Surrounded by a mix of happy couples and those who are single and are desperate to even find a date seems to drive me to insanity.

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  • COLUMN | The Beauty Of British Men

    British teeth are portrayed as the worst in the World. The Simpsons poke fun at us with the Big Book of British Smiles, to scare Lisa Simpson into looking after her teeth. Yet, I brush daily and floss, so are British teeth really that bad and unhealthy?

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  • COLUMN | Let’s Not Get Phyiscal

    There are a few places I wouldn’t like to find myself in: a bar frequented by Neo-Nazis perhaps or an abattoir. In 2009 I found myself somewhere far worse and much more terrifying: a gym. It was horrific.

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  • COLUMN | The Turbulency Of Love

    It’s the month of love, or so the people peddling overpriced flowers, candle lit meals and mawkish cards for Valentine’s Day would have you believe. What’s all that love stuff all about though? I’ve studied it for many years as a first hand researcher.

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  • COLUMN | F**K The Guys

    Most people in a position of power seem to be putting out a certain message at the moment and that message is “F**k the gays” and I for one, am sick of it.

    Unless you’ve been living in a sort of media blackout, you won’t be at all surprised that most of us aren’t over keen on Suzanne Moore.

    In her most recent Guardian article, she implied that pretty much every gay guy was into rushed toilet cubicle sex and that we’re all terribly misogynistic. I find this a repugnant generalisation of gay men, and since when did liking cock more make you Anti-Woman? Piss off Suzanne. Also judging by some recent tweets, SHE KNOWS that she will piss all of us, which Is obviously her aim, and with controversy comes publicity, so good on you Suzanne, you’re getting your opinion out, no matter how vile and unnecessary it is. I’m going to quote a tweet of hers:

    “I’m quite old fashioned when it comes to queers” Nice one Suze.

    Obliviously, earlier this week, there was the big “debate” in which a group of decent people and their adulterous bigoted colleagues would get together, to decide whether gay people would be allowed the most coveted privilege that is of course marriage. I found this whole “debate” to be unnecessary, rushed and most of all patronising. There is no need for a debate, not when the subject being debated is essentially a human right.

    Apparently, my pals the “religious” people are up in arms about the whole thing!

    “We couldn’t possibly marry these beasts in our houses of worship and molestation!” They cry from their steeples… That’s how I imagine it anyway.

    Religion has nothing at all to do with marriage. Religious protection is the big issue, in which “churchies” are absolutely horrified at the thought of marrying us lot! Not that most of us even want to get married in a Church anyway, or a Mosque that’s for sure. Many are refusing to hold ceremonies there, and quite rightly in my opinion, at the end of the day, those churches are only big enough for one sexual deviant (The Priest)

    I couldn’t give a glancing f**k whether or not the Church is bothered by Equal Marriage, because marriage is ultimately about love, and not Religion.

    Another angle that these homophobes are using is that of teachers.

    (Before I enter my tirade, I would like to say I have all the respect in the world for teachers, they do a fantastic job, most of them anyway)

    A teacher is supposed to teach. They teach all different subjects, English, Religion, Science, Maths, Languages etc. Teachers are supposed to inspire tomorrow’s generation, nurture their minds and along with the child’s parents, mould them into the adult they will eventually become. So if that teacher is against equality and won’t even mention it in their classroom, then in my eyes, they shouldn’t be a teacher at all. The one example that keeps being thrown up is :

    “What if a Muslim teacher is refusing to teach children about equality, will they be suspended?”

    The answer, unfortunately is no. Which I see as rather ironic, seeing as Muslims are also facing a degree of inequality at the moment, so surely they should sympathise.

    I don’t know where the next few days are heading in terms of gay rights, but what I do know, is if they don’t go our way, I’m leaving this country for somewhere warmer and more accepting.

  • COMMENT | The Noisy Silence Of A Political

    Last week we sent an open letter to our local MP David Burrows asking him to vote in favour of same-sex marriage. In return, we received… nothing.

    Not a peep. We can only assume our local MP has been far too busy to give much thought to the subject of same-sex marriage and instead focusing his attentions on other important local issues.

    Oh no wait, he’s been spending his time working the press trying to grab the headlines to push his name to some kind of political martyr status. That’s why he doesn’t have time to respond to his own constituents who are in favour of this bill. A few of David’s press outings Including comment such as;

    “There’s serious unrest in the grass roots. You cannot avoid the fact that the troops are unhappy. People are drifting away.” – The Times 02/02/13

    Actually, according to the YouGov poll the majority of people in the UK are actually in favour of same-sex marriage. Maybe it’s time to scarify the political lawn and remove the dead grass allowing a stronger and brighter future to grow through?

    ‘The Christian MP said his children have been bullied at school by classmates accusing him of being “homophobic” – Telegraph 03/02/13

    ‘David Burrowes, the main opponent of the Gay Marriage Bill said “I’ve had death threats, hostility and hate mail”. – the Independent 04/02/13

    However, in the same voice he’s also quoted in our local paper saying;

    ‘The issue was not something “people are hammering us on the doorstep to do something about” – Enfield Independent 20/02/12

    I’m sorry but you cannot say one minute that people aren’t bothered about same-sex marriage and then also say you’re getting death threats and your kids are being subjected to equal opportunity playground taunting.

    I never condone the stupidity of people who put pen to paper to write death threats and understand kids will always say it like they see it, however it all sounds to me like someone is quite happy to have their name splashed in the papers whatever the heading. A little like the Jordan and Peter saga, will they, won’t they, ‘No one’s hammered my doorstep about same-sex marriage’, ‘I’m getting death threats.’ It starts to become whiney, boring and again making it all about you. It’s not about you. It’s about the people of Enfield and Southgate and the rest of the UK want to have their voice heard. Not about your personal life and person interests.

    Of course, you don’t have to look far to see Mr Burrowes name on the web news pages like the BBC reporting on his parliamentary rule breaching in registering and declaring overseas trips paid for by foreign governments and then signing motions without declaring a personal interest in them. Similar is reported in the Enfield Independent that David accepts an office intern, who is sponsored by the Christian charity group CARE to the tune of £5,500, to work in his office every other year. CARE, which opposes gay marriage, also sponsored a London event in 2009 offering “healing” to gay people.

    Baffling. We would have loved to have shared David’s opinion but he chose not to reply to our letter. Obviously us gays are of no financial or political interest to Mr Burrowes.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Apathy – A Gay Disease?

    So, here we are, facing a chance to get our elected representatives to give us the right to marry, one step closer to equality with heterosexual couples, same legal footing… and how many of us have bothered to write or cajole our MP?

    On the social media sites, we see a lot of the so-called “politically correct” groups paying lip service to this item, some of the more radical individuals are there too – but, be honest, how many of you actually know who your MP is? or how to contact them? Believe me, I include myself in this too.

    So, we’ve moved on from decriminalising our sexual act in the late 60s, narrowed the age of consent, obtained civil partnership rights… and now this.

    Did we accept at some point that as long as we could shag, faux marry and do it younger, then it didn’t matter anymore? Or is it part of some larger issue? is it just us, as a sexual orientation that can’t be arsed anymore, or is it a case of the population at large are suffering this apathy too?

    I know, I know – more questions than answers but keep up…

    The site below gives you the turnout rates for every general election since 1945, and its a telling story – less than 60% of the eligible population turned out to vote in 2001, with only marginally more turning out in the next 2 elections. Is it because we now have little to differentiate between the parties? Instead of the clear differences between the Blue, Red and Yellow parties, we now have one big Brown mess?

    http://www.ukpolitical.info/Turnout45.htm

    The figures are similar in the US, with just over 50% of voters turning out in 2000, and a slight increase over the next 2 elections – despite Obama’s cute smile!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voter_turnout_in_the_United_States_presidential_elections

    So why is this? For me, I just don’t care enough anymore. I used to be a passionate supporter of Labour, working class background, father a miner like his father before him, grew up during Thatcher’s reign, felt the effects, but at some point along the way, I lost that passion, that interest. I think its simply that it all became grey.

    Is it that politics are boring? Can it ever be sexy and grab our interest? Is it the policies or the people? There are no interesting figures anymore. Cameron and Clegg are beige in the extreme – Miliband offers little new to entice people to vote. This is something Obama managed – he offered a fresh approach, a new way to think, some hope… and the new idea of a black president! Here, we have the same old stuff: referendum on the EU, are we European or not? Gay marriage? Well, why not? Throw them a bone now and again and they may vote for us next time?

    So, why aren’t we as passionate as, say, the French? Thousands marching in Paris for and against their marriage law, coverage across the globe – whilst we sit here and tweet, update our status and moan.

    Is it time to get up off our butts and do something? Shout from the rooftops about our support (or not) of this bill? Take time to email our MP regardless of the outcome of today’s vote? Maybe we feel we can’t make a difference but remember that we vote them in, and so get the government we deserve.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.v

  • Opinion: Same Sex Marriage; No Brainer Or Political Football

    The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill is back before the House of Commons on 5th February.

    So what does the Bill do? Clause 1(1) declares simply that the ‘marriage of same sex couples is lawful’. So far, so good. Clause 9 provides that a civil partnership can be converted into a marriage. So far, rather better. The problems, some might say, start at this point. In somewhat convoluted language, clause 1(3) says that nothing in the canon law of the Church of England providing that marriage can only be between one man and one woman shall be contrary to any other law (i.e. the Church of England’s current ban on same-sex marriages will remain lawful). The Church in Wales is treated rather differently. Clause 8 provides that the law will be changed if and when its Governing Body decides to allow same-sex marriages in the future. No such provision is included for the Church of England. Whilst I am not a canon lawyer, I am told that were the Church of England to amend canon law to allow for the celebration of same-sex marriages, the law (i.e. the real law) would be amended to allow for this (with or without Parliament’s approval). I struggle with the subtleties of this, and suspect the real reason why express provision is not made for the Church of England to ‘opt-in’ later if it wants to is political. The issue of same-sex marriages is now the Church of England’s problem, and given recent debates upon the issue of women bishops and ‘celibate’ gay bishops, I wouldn’t hold your breath (unless you are prepared to do so for another 20 years).

    Finally, nothing in the draft Bill obliges any religious celebrant or place of worship (of whatever religious persuasion) to celebrate same-sex marriages unless they wish to do so. This is provided for in clause 2 and gives rise to the ‘opt-in’ provisions in clauses 4 and 5. Although this has caused consternation for some, I am tempted to justify it as a matter of practicality. However, such logic would also allow discrimination in other spheres on the ground of gender or race, which cannot be right. In truth, a balance has been struck between attempting to avoid discrimination against same-sex couples on the one hand and religious freedom and tolerance on the other.

    As a lawyer, I can live with the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill, although there is certainly room for improvement. What concerns me – not as a lawyer, but as a gay man – is that the Bill and the most vocal opposition to it are apparently (party) political. I imagine the government will be pleased that I am pleased that draft legislation has been brought forward to remove what some (including me) consider an obvious discrimination against same-sex couples. I don’t buy into the idea that civil partnerships are ‘good enough’. If a Jewish couple or a black couple or a disabled couple were only permitted to enter into a civil partnership and were denied the right to marry, I doubt anyone could justify such overt discrimination on the basis that a civil partnership is a marriage in all but name. I imagine most of those who object to same-sex marriage on religious grounds are appalled to see their objections being overshadowed by regional party chairman threatening to deselect MPs if they don’t vote against the Bill. The real debate is at risk of being lost in internal party politics.

     

    by Philip Marshall QC

    More about the author.

    Philip specialises in divorce and matrimonial finance cases. Called in 1989, he was made a QC in 2012. He is usually instructed in ‘big money’ cases (with 3 cases in the House of Lords) and has extensive experience of drafting pre-nuptial agreements and advising in civil partnerships disputes.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COLUMN | I Don’t I Don’t I Don’t

    Before I start, I’d like to say that I’m totally in support of gay marriage. I’m all for equal rights, freedom of choice and smacking bigotry in the face. Just don’t ask me to get hitched to prove a point though. I really hate weddings.

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  • COMMENT | Why Aren’t We Up In Arms

    Apathy, n 1. Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference. 2. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.

    Is this you? I think this is me. And to be honest I am not apologetic of the fact. To me, apathy towards being gay means that some kind of social inclusion has been reached, which is a very proud place to be. As a whole, yes, I believe that we are part of a society where one has a choice of freedom. But for many, this still isn’t the case.

    From my point of view, I have grown up in a semi-accepting society – growing up through a battle of continual torment and agonising pain like many gay teens. It was only really at university where I started to feel part of a new and welcoming society; an openness I promised myself I would never forget. The sad fact is, I have forgotten, and I am sure that goes for many of us who have reached a point of inclusion. But that pain and exclusion is still happening for others, all over the world. Is it our duty to bring these individuals to some kind of salvation? How is best to deal with these issues?

    I have never felt a need to protest or write to my MP over gay issues, as to be honest, I don’t have any gay issues. I am not protesting about gay marriage, as I am not religious and don’t feel the need to get involved in such a debate, even though there are obvious gay issues attached. Do I think gay people should be able to get married, yes I do. However, I do understand why the more literal belief groups unwelcome this change. Some religious branches are more organic and adapt to the community they serve a purpose to, some are not.

    The only point where I would feel the need to defend my situation is when I am confronted. Even then I find it difficult, as their ignorance is outweighed by the fact that I feel sorry for their hatred. Cue line from the new US sitcom The New Normal ‘thank you for your intolerance and your bigotry, and for fostering this ignorance in another generation…and for bringing back the fanny pack!’

    On a more serious note, one can’t help but think of the heroic Harvey Milk, the first openly-gay person to be elected to public office in California during the 70s. ‘He imagined a righteous world inside his head and then he set about to create it for real, for all of us’. This was at a time where there was major inequalities but he saw the slightest glimpse of hope for the gay community and took that opportunity with courage and conviction. But can the same be said for the gay community today? Do we get involved in live protests or continually strive to make a political point? More so, is there a need to?

    I think it is our duty to our fellow community, to help inform and guide others who do not understand the importance of equality. Perhaps we need to be reminded of the importance of equality ourselves in our day to day lives. But to what extreme do we do this successfully? On a protest level, or more of a quieter defiance? Personally, I see it more of a learned understanding which informs a new generation rather than a battle where hatred is thrown into the equation. It is not so much a gay issue, rather its an issue of what is righteous.

    I have become immensely proud of the pride festivals all over the country every year; is one day enough? That one day of pride, serves as a reminder of how much we have gone through as a community. In fact, today I think it may be fair to say, that in the UK, many communities see the gay community as simply part of an rich and diverse open society, which means it has become the norm in many circumstance. This in my opinion is exactly the way it should be. Of course, there are going to be circumstances we as a community have to battle against, such as gay marriage, but only if you feel need for the cause. Not just because it is a gay issue. So maybe it is ok to remain apathetic. I guess what I am trying to say is that we should not forget the battle we have gone through, as individuals and as a community, and where we stand today. I can’t help but think that in twenty years it will seem bizarre that something like gay marriage was ever even an issue.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COLUMN | Who Needs Hiking Boots To Enjoy To Enjoy The Great Indoors?

    I’ve enjoyed looking at the snow from my bedroom window. Looking is fine, just don’t expect me to venture outdoors. You know how people describe themselves as outdoorsy? Well, I’m more indoorsy.

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