THEGAYUK

Category: Comment

  • COLUMN: Tell Me Lies

    It seems to me that the world is full of false perceptions. I often sit on the bus and see people walking around in skinny jeans who clearly think that their bottom is a lot smaller than it is. They don’t appear to notice that the denim is strained to breaking point and that they look bulbous in all the wrong places. The same goes for the milky blue-white flesh of an unwisely exposed upper arm or the sportswear on a man who’s likely to pass out running for a bus.

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  • COLUMN: The Battle For Social Equality

    Saturday 29th March 2014 will forever be a wonderful day in the history of our country; the day same-sex couples were finally able to marry each other. It’s a wonderful progression in the struggle for equal rights and I am proud to be from a country that now has such laws. However, while it’s absolutely fabulous, we need to keep in mind that we are not done yet.

    Although pretty much having complete legal equality, there remains a huge amount of social inequality in this country. We often hear about the situation for LGBT people around the world in places such as Russia, Uganda and even America (supposedly a free land), but what we don’t hear about enough is what it’s like for LGBT people living in this country. There seems to be an assumption that everything is going to be ok now because we have marriage equality, but let’s remind ourselves that homophobia, transphobia and discrimination are still rife.

    I have some real life examples to refer to here. I have personally been barred from a pub in my local town for being gay. The explanation given to me by the manager was that I am a “f**king disgusting queer”. I challenged the barring and kicked up a fuss. It resulted in me being allowed back into the bar but it is something I chose not to do on principle.

    The same venue is now under different ownership and has changed its name, but discrimination still exists. I do a lot of work around LGBT community engagement with my local Council and am seen locally as the authority on anything gay (something I have never claimed to be), so I hear from a lot of people about their experiences of discrimination. Recently a gay couple were asked to leave the venue for kissing each other; something which is actually illegal. It has been brought to the attention of the Police but I am not aware that anything has been done about it.

    It’s not just an issue with one venue though. When hosting the first Warwickshire Pride festival in the summer of 2013 there was an incident of homophobia when a man called some of the stall holders “f**king queers”. Not too bad, perhaps. But what is bad is that the homophobe then went online to the stall holder’s Facebook page and began to message homophobic abuse to people and threaten them. The criminal offence was again reported to the Police but nothing could be done because it did not come directly from the person who was the victim of the abuse.

    A personal friend of mine has received transphobic abuse for a number of years and reported it to the Police on many occasions, even telling them some names of people who were being abusive. Nothing was done about the abuse and my friend continued to live in fear.

    It’s situations like this that give LGBT people such little faith in the authorities actually doing something about Hate Crime.

    Nationally we have political parties such as UKIP who appear to be anti-LGBT and say some really quite disgusting things about us. The scariest thing about that is the fact that these parties, particularly UKIP, are gaining a following. This will mostly be based on the apparent racist views of the party, but there will be people who agree with the anti-LGBT views too.

    In schools homophobic bullying is still rife. I know this first hand as I work with young people and regularly engage with schools in the area, or at least attempt to. Most schools don’t want to hear about sexuality and gender identity issues. You mention the acronym LGBT to them and they go into panic mode as if it’s something they want to avoid discussing. It’s here that the problem lies. I don’t necessarily think it’s down to schools not wanting to tackle homophobic bullying. I’d say it’s more a case of schools not being equipped to tackle it. What’s needed is a big change in the curriculum when it comes toPSHE/RSE (Personal, social, health and economic education) lessons. Schools must be required to discuss sexuality and gender identity with all students. And to do that I believe all teachers must attend diversity training that includes an LGBT section.

    These are necessary things that must happen if there is to be social change in this country. By educating our youth I believe we will find our society becomes more open and discrimination based on sexuality and gender identity lessens.

    The Police have a big responsibility too. Hate Crime is seen to be a priority but when homophobic or transphobic crimes are reported there seems to be little done about it. This results in a lack of trust in the Police and puts people off reporting the crimes. What we need is for the Police to better engage with LGBT people and offer some reassurance that reports of Hate Crime will be taken seriously and actually dealt with. The reporting process for Hate Crime itself also needs to be made easier and allow for a third party reporting the crime on someone else’s behalf if, for example, they are too scared to come forward.

    I am soon having a meeting with my MP to discuss these issues in detail and ask for his assistance in bringing positive social change locally. It’s a big ask, but I’ll continue lobbying the powers that be until it is a safer and more open society for LGBT people.

    I wish all the happiness in the world to any same-sex couple taking advantage of our new found freedom and choice to get married, but please do keep in mind that the battle is not over yet.

  • COLUMN: The HIV Community

    ‘Community’ is a broad word that can be used in various ways in our society; it carries different definitions depending on the situation.

    The main meaning we can all take away from this word is that it’s generally a large group of people that all share common values. Without realising, we must all fit into different communities – as a population, as a society, as a sub-culture, as a gender, race, sexuality…the list goes on. One question I wanted to ask before writing this, was, ‘Is there a HIV community in the UK?’ Having had a Google, I haven’t found a great deal so I thought I would explore the potential reasons why it appears to be lacking.

    I was diagnosed back in October 2012 as having HIV and since then, it’s felt like a pretty solitary journey. I’ve felt that I’ve had to make a concerted effort to reach out to others that have this somewhat lonely and yet widespread virus, seeing as there are roughly 100,000 people living with HIV in the UK (to put into a visual context, that’s enough to fill the O2 Arena to full capacity 5 times over). I’ve mentioned in a previous article that stigma is a major issue that needs tackling, and here I find myself thinking that it’s stigma that’s probably the reason why we don’t have that community ‘feel’ when it comes to HIV. People are too scared to disclose their status and so any attempt of an open HIV community is diminished from the outset. I don’t feel part of anything larger, but then I wonder at the same time, do I actually want to be?

    I think about the gay community, and to me, it’s something that is quite close knit. It tends to be in concentrated pockets in the UK, in areas that thrive such as popular cities, and everyone tends to be linked to someone through one way or another. Up until a few years ago, you’d find me every weekend out on my local scene, on a stage or podium dancing this derriere of mine off non-stop; shaking loose the stresses of life with friends and loosing calories in the process and maintaining a nice athletic physique with hardly any effort – sounds great right? The scene was my release, where I could fully be ‘me’. In time though, I got really bored. It’s a story we must all be able to relate to, the same places and same faces just weren’t enough for me anymore and so I withdrew myself. Being part of the gay community is something that fortunately we can choose, similarly I guess with any community. It’s a choice in our lives that we are very lucky to have as it has the power to alter us as people so dramatically. Who I am today, is not who I was those years back, when I was out every weekend.

    So to choose to become part of a community and go looking for it if it does exist, where does someone with HIV go? Well, the main prevalent community that HIV people have is actually found online. I wonder how people reached out to each other before this though? I can only hazard a guess at support groups perhaps arranged by HIV drop-in centres or local hospitals. The internet is a HIV person’s saviour. We can hide behind anonymous identities if we wish to and say how we feel, reach out and get the support needed and make friends. My saving grace has remarkably been, Twitter. I have two accounts on Twitter, a personal one and my @HIVPozGuy one. I use the latter much more as I’ve developed a network of friends with HIV on there, and we all help each other out and provide a much needed resource of fun and laughter. It’s astounding that groups can be created from nothing, from simple connections made over wireless air-waves and wires, that can then become first-class compadres. My twitter friends live all over the place, but having them in my pocket on hand, makes them feel like they’re with me every day. We’re now in talks of arranging a meet up!

    Twitter isn’t the only resource I found in terms of community. Other websites offer great forums, I think the first whistle-stop that every HIV person should stop at post-diagnosis before doing anything else, is to get themselves registered with The Terrence Higgin’s Trust website – ww.tht.org.uk. This is the main HIV charity in the UK with a growing number of members each day with brilliant resources and help. You can delve into the forums and get pretty lost and carried away with other peoples’ stories, and find common ground to rid those feelings of shame, anger, guilt, sadness and so on that many experience from their initial diagnosis. You can even call their helpline and speak with people that have HIV. My Step-Dad did this on the day I revealed my HIV status so he could gather an understanding of it, this he relayed to my mum and it put their anxieties at great ease (if you work/volunteer for THT reading this, massive thank you from me!). So THT isn’t just there for HIV people, it’s there to help out family and friends that have a close one with HIV.

    So, to answer my question from the start – Yes, there is a community, and it’s mainly online. It’s not huge but it’s what people choose and make of it, that will allow them to construct their own idea of how to achieve that community ‘feel’, should they need it. I’m extremely content with the people I’ve got to know along the way so far and look forward to someday meeting them too.

    by HIVPozGuy

  • COMMENT | The T Community – Be Proud

    The vigil for Lucy Meadows that took place outside the Daily Fail HQ was a wonderful show of solidarity between people of all genders and sexualities, protesting for a common cause. Although is it awful and tragic what has happened, I did have to smile to myself at the sight of Trans visibility.

    Over the years there has been growing support for LGB people but support for T people seems to be lagging behind. I imagine that a lot of this is down to a lack of understanding of and exposure to trans individuals, but I do feel that sensationalism in the press has not helped. Transgender people do not get an easy time in the press and that was highlighted when Richard Littlejohn wrote his highly offensive piece in that awful rag. As many people believe what they read in the ‘newspapers’ (I use that word very loosely) that leads to further misunderstanding of what it is to be Trans and the whole process that is gone through.

    Personally I am accepting of all people from all walks of life. I couldn’t care less whether someone is black, white, gay, straight, bi, transgender, or anything else. My circle of friends is incredibly diverse and I also employ somebody who is trans. I see beyond sexuality and gender identity, and focus on personality and values that the person has. Someone’s constitution is far more important and interesting than whether someone likes men or women, or identifies as male or female. It’s a shame that people such as Mr Littlejohn and certain sections of the media in general are not so enlightened.

    I feel that the Lucy Meadows situation along with the recent Julie Burchill ruckus has seen a turning point in trans activism. The community is becoming more vocal and visible, and being brought to the forefront of the news. I think that’s fantastic and is long overdue.

    Transgender people I know have been scared to be so visible with who they are through fear of persecution, but I sincerely hope that this recent wave of activism and increased visibility leads to the empowerment of Transgender people up and down the country, and that they feel able to be more open about who they are.

    Obviously, things are not going to change overnight but the ball is now rolling. The vigil for Lucy Meadows showed that there is a sense of community and solidarity between Transgender people, but also that it extends to a wider community of enlightened human beings who do not accept the poor treatment of a minority. It’s that wider community that I am proud to be a part of.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COLUMN | The Hirsute of Happiness

    I’m fairly effete and always have been, so the sight of me with a full beard by age 13 was quite an absurd one for all to see.

    This outward sign of my testosterone fuelled teens seemed like a paradox as I merrily whistled along to Madonna and made up new Shirley Bassey show routines in my head. I always felt that my early puberty was a complete curse and the bane of my life. I wanted to grow up glamorous and fey with a sculpted set of smooth abs, not be a virtual werewolf by 20.
    By the age of 15 I had legs that looked like they’d been carpeted, a fetching golden-red beard and a chest wig worthy of a 1970s porn star. I wouldn’t have minded so much if it had matched. Instead I had blond hair, dark brown chest chair and a ginger beard.

    I was terrible at shaving, always gouging chunks from my face and turning up at sixth-form college covered in plasters and dabbing delicately at my face with blood stained tissues like a Victorian hysteric. Often I’d give up on the whole idea, adopting the ideology that if I continually ignored the hair sprouting from every quarter, then it might go away.

    It didn’t go away. I had to choose: depilation and regular shaving or find another way to carry the look off. As I wasn’t prepared to plait my back hair or adopt a Floella Benjamin beaded look, then painful, irritating hair removal was the only option.

    I’ve endured loss of skin through depilatory creams, nicks and rashes, waxing burns and sprains and strains from contorting myself round to reach the tricky bits. A long term partner preferred the hairless look so I spent hours each month painfully erasing every trace of hair growth on my chest and shoulders.
    I experienced an epiphany in recent years as I realised that at my advanced age (let’s just say I’m over 35) I can choose what I like. My preference on a man is for body hair as long as it’s not beyond the pale. I don’t expect any man to present me with a Mexican style handlebar moustache in his trousers. That’s just absurd. I actually find well tended body hair quite attractive.
    So, I accept my body for what it is now and that’s that it’s hairy. It comes that way. If I’ve got the time, I trim and prune. Otherwise, I don’t actually care. Now, ear hair and my straggly eyebrows: that’s a whole different matter. That may take another 40 years to come to terms with.

  • OPINION | Infamous 5 – the Reform Section 5 campaign

    I’m curious about the genuine aims of the campaign http://reformsection5.org.uk which is seeking to remove the potential to criminalise ‘insulting words or behaviour.’

    The campaign wants to influence the Home Office to amend Section 5 of the Public Order Act but I am perplexed as to whether this group, a disparate band of crusaders, is keen to promote positive, free speech or simply want the right to insult whoever they want without consequence.

    Is Section 5 really so abused by the authorities? Does it actually limit our ability to challenge each other? Or is abolishing the rights of the public to be offended and ‘insulted’ in favour of a right to freedom of speech justified?

    The Public Order Act 1986 is an Act of Parliament which was designed to stop actions which can undermine the order and safety of society. It criminalises ‘disorderly behaviour,’ and aims to prevent the use of ‘threatening, abusive or insulting words’ or the use of signs and displays which are likely to cause ‘harassment, alarm or distress.’ Sections 1-4 of the Act cover several elements including riot, violent disorder, affray (fighting), fear or provocation and causing intentional alarm or distress.

    It is Section 5, with a particular focus on ‘insulting’ language and behaviour, which has curiously united several, often warring factions of British society; I struggle to remember a time where The Christian Institute, National Secular Society and indeed Peter Tatchell have agreed to such an extent.

     

    Why would any group protest against a piece of legislation which, if removed, would essentially allow their critics the right to undermine and verbally abuse them?

     

    Is it that this law truly undermines freedom of speech as protected by the European Convention on Human Rights? Not necessarily. Are the irregular and carefully selected examples used by the campaign representative of the law’s use? I doubt it. Even the website’s choices are not accurately representative of the situations cited.

     

    Let’s look at one which may impact TheGayUK readers. The campaign describes ‘an elderly street preacher [who] was convicted under Section 5 for displaying a sign which said homosexuality was immoral.’ Actually, the sixty nine-year old’s sign said ‘Stop Homosexuality, Stop Lesbianism’ which could be a call to action, a threat, an incitement.

    Equally, the campaign misrepresents the Vegelenzangs case as simply ‘a conversation with a Muslim guest about Mohammed and Islamic dress for women’ in which they actually undermined the hijab as ‘bondage.’

    In fact, of the three thousand convictions between 2001-2003 under Section 5, the site can only name a few where the law was seen to be stretched or maybe misinterpreted. Does that mean the law should be abandoned or elements dropped?

    Perhaps it should be a case of advising and guiding the public, police and courts on how the law should be used. The Police have been accused of misusing the powers in Section 14, notably during the 2009 G-20 protests in London where journalists were forced to leave the protests – but that still exists!

    Another argument of the campaign is that ‘insults’ are not important. Leader of the UKIP Party in the United Kingdom, Nigel Farage even feels that ‘people must be free to insult and be insulted’ – glad I don’t know/socialise with/work for him! Several other endorsers of the campaign rightly highlight that higher levels of harassment and discrimination are criminalised elsewhere by the Act or the New Equality Act 2010.

    Further Sections of the Public Order Act also require any protests to have provided written notice to the police who can still impose conditions or indeed prohibit a procession if it will cause ‘serious disruption to the life of the community.’

    Section 16 Part 3A of the Act specifically protects the public from words, signs and actions which may incite harassment based on race, religion and sexual orientation.

    So maybe we are all still protected without Section 5 but it has to be of this level.

    Do you want to be protected from a protest outside your house? Of course. But what if your neighbour decides to greet you with an insult each morning and won’t stop if you ask them to? Should we all be able to withstand a few insults? Sure. But how many insults are too many? Look at the disproportionate rate of LGBT teen suicide – is that one way of telling us that insults hurt?

    But does it have to get to that level before the authorities notice or can help?

    Let’s get down to what matters here. What is this all about? Do we really care – and will it impact me? I think it will and I’ll tell you how. I am concerned that the broader legislations above do not cover the more creative abusers. If a fellow bus, train or tube user decides that you might like to be reminded that you are in fact ‘gay’ does that mean they should be arrested? They weren’t inciting hatred, just stating the obvious perhaps? Or what if ‘poof’ is their choice today but not accompanied by any further undermining or personal perspective on whether that is a good or bad thing – can we complain?

    Could the police do anything?

    A street preacher can point at you menacingly as you hold your partner’s hand. He can’t be arrested for that. But what if that was the first time you did it and it put you off, or it was detrimental to your relationship, your confidence. Or what if someone else sees this and suppresses their feelings, or worse it reinforces or activates any latent homophobia?

    What if you observed these actions and no one was the target or victim? David Davis, MP for Haltemprice and Howden, wants to know ‘who should decide who’s insulted?’

    I say we all have that right.

    I say insulting behaviour is the grey area that homophobes like to operate in – they think they can get away with it. Is it acceptable to be offended? Of course it is. But, if the law is changed and you complain to a police officer there’s not much they can do about it.

    We all have the right to campaign, protest and provoke thought but do we have this right at the expense of others? I’m curious as to how insulting materials have to be before they are considered a criminal offense or of inciting hatred.

    Is undeterred or unchallenged hurtful language a sign of more physical and violent aggression to come? Gordon Allport (1954) argues that ‘anti-locution’ or badmouthing, insulting and stereotyping is the start of discrimination on his scale for the manifestation of prejudice.

    This then escalates to avoidance, discrimination, physical attack and extermination. How much protection do we need from each other, and at what stage? Maybe it is more about everyone taking responsibility. We should all challenge disorder which may be in the public, and our own, interest as the first level before it escalates.

    What if someone decided to mimic you, standing there looking fabulous with your oversized man-bag draped over your arm? People might laugh – everyone is having a good time – who could be insulted? They are free to insult you, and if you were a reasonable, stable human, you would appreciate it as their right. Or is that what the Reform Section 5 campaign would like to believe? Maybe the campaign should be challenging why people feel the need to insult each other, rather than trying to facilitate for more of it.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Does The “Gay Community” Really Exist?

    I’m going to get straight to the point here and say NO! I do not believe that there is such a thing as a gay community these days. I know that some will disagree with me here and say that there’s absolutely a gay community, but I disagree.

    I think that these days there’s some confusion between a community and a group or clique. It’s my opinion that we now find ourselves in groups or cliques, with little essence of the community spirit that has existed in the past. I say this because the first image that popped into my head when thinking about the ‘gay community’ was one of the commercial scene. Although the scene is a small part of gay culture, it’s the most visible and I imagine it’s what most people would think about when discussing the gay community.

    Although I indulge in the scene now and again, in general, I think it’s quite an unhealthy place and can be absolutely vile at times. I don’t believe that there’s any sense of community on the scene. It’s always come across as an extremely shallow place. Well to me anyway.

    In the town where I live there are many gay people who typically fit into two groups.

    The first is the guys who have all had sex with each other, then fall out and bitch about each other before making up and having sex again. Then they fall out and the cycle continues. They would probably see themselves as a gay community but I see it as more a circle of filth and drama.

    The second group of gay guys in my town is very much a clique. It’s the very definition of a clique. The group is very exclusive and you will only be welcomed into their circle if you meet the standards that they have. It’s a materialistic clique that focuses on who has what, who has the biggest and best garden, and who has the best designer clothes. At their monthly Sunday lunches they all try to outdo each other and put on a more grand and expensive lunch than the previous host. This clique was once disgusted because someone who was sitting near them was wearing a shirt from Tesco. If it ain’t Dolce they don’t wanna know. One of the clique also openly said “these people are boring me” when friends of mine were trying to get acquainted with them. That kind of thing really annoys me and the word I would use to describe that way of living is ‘bollocks’. There’s no community there either. It’s just falseness and pretence.

    The sense of community in gay culture may not be completely lost. There are pockets of communities working to make life better for gay people. Sadly, in my opinion, they are a minority. What I am finding more prevalent is solidarity between gay people and their allies. An example of this is a pride event that I am trying to set up at the moment.

    Warwickshire is a quiet place and is lagging behind the rest of the country, but that is all set to change. I have started planning Warwickshire’s first gay pride event. The aim of Warwickshire Pride is to bring the community together to celebrate diversity. By community I mean the wider community; gay and straight people, and people of different races and religions, all coming together to celebrate diversity. All sorts of people from all walks of life are coming on board to help make this happen. It may be an LGBT pride but the straights are helping to make it happen too. There’s a real sense of community spirit with this process of putting on the event and that will be the purpose of occasion.

    I can’t see many of the gay people in my town being involved in the planning. There would be too much infighting and power games to get anything achieved. I think the same goes for gay guys on the commercial scene; there wouldn’t be a sense of community involved. It would be all about getting drunk, getting laid and making sure plenty of hot guys are there. The sense of community has definitely been lost over time. We’re no longer all in it together; we’re in it for ourselves.

    Except I’m not. I don’t really fit into any gay clique or any group in general. I’m an individual and it’s my individuality that I cherish so much. I am part of a community though. But it’s not a gay community; it something better than that – a community containing a diverse range of people that has spirit. I’d take that over a ‘gay community’ any day.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

     

  • COMMENT | I’m Gay, I’m 47, And I’m Still Alive

    So, you’re sitting there, politely minding your own business when BOOM – you’re 47! Now what?

    One minute you’re partying like it’s 1999, then suddenly it’s sometime in the mid-2010s… and you’re worried about heart beats, not beats per minute. Nightclubs don’t hold the same attraction anymore, but Murder She Wrote can hold your attention for hours at a time. Life is less about Girls Aloud and more about The Golden Girls.

    This series of pieces is about growing up and growing old in today’s gay world. How do you plan to grow old? Gracefully or disgracefully? Do you want to be one of those people who gets to a certain age, and stops – holding back time with Botox, face lifts or clothes pegs at the back? Do you still intend to be shopping in Top Man at 70?

    What are your options as you grow older? What lovely surprises are in store for you? At what point do you end up with more hair growing in your ears than on your head?

    I find myself struggling with the ageing issues as I creep slowly towards the grave. In my head I’m no age at all – I can wear what I want, admire hairstyles and think I could carry that off, my music tastes are more Lana Del Ray than Englebert Humperdinck.

    However, I am finding myself more attracted to things I used to associate with my parents. I’ve joined the National Trust and love it. I can’t stand loud music in pubs any longer – I prefer being able to hold a conversation. I find Victor Meldrew to be more a role model than a comic figure – but still not a fashion icon (although I am loving his cardigans!)

    On the health side, I can’t eat and drink what I want anymore – without suffering the consequences. Everything goes straight to my waist and it is now expanding at a rate of knots, less middle aged spread, more late middle aged spread. Gym time has always been a mystery to me but I’ve come to realise that it has its place, just not in my life!I spend time pondering pension provisions, where my nearest Waitrose is and battling constant backache rather than clubbing, staying out all night, and ogling the tottie on display.

    What used to appeal has shifted somewhat – looking at gorgeous young men doesn’t appeal nearly as much as it used to. Being totally honest, I still look, but it feels wrong somehow when you’re old enough to be their dad! At what point do you stop? Regular viewers of my blog will know I haven’t reached that point just yet.

    When I was young, someone my age was considered old, and there seemed to be certain points in life where you, as an individual, aged and moved on. Middle-aged men weren’t fashionable, they wore lots of comfy beige from M&S. After middle age, you slipped slowly into old age and My grandparents dressed and acted like OAP’s were expected to – but today things are different.

    People seem to stay younger longer, not just in their appearance, but in their outlook on life too. People are grandparents in their 40’s these days, having had their children earlier in life – however, time marches on, changes take place and you can slow it down but it still happens.

    My hope is to pop on my specs, fasten my cardi against the chill and take a close look at the issues we face, seriously and humorously!

    If there is anything you’d like to me include or cover, let me know….

    Next time: incontinence, impotence and male pattern baldness – just kidding!

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Vatican Department Sleeping Above Gay Sauna

    Whilst the cardinals are all gathered to deliberate and appoint the next Pope, you could ponder what they all do in the evenings for entertainment?

    Well one Vatican department it seems has been sharing a Rome palazzo with one of Italy’s top gay saunas, the EMC (Europa Multiclub). This may just be a coincidence and I’m sure the Vatican didn’t realise they were spending £17.5m on 20 apartments for the Congregation for the Evangelisation of Peoples in the same building as a gay sauna.

    The sauna hosts many features such as whirlpools, Finnish saunas, Turkish baths and massages. Just what you need after a hard day’s work.

    How many days did it take to elect the last pope? Just saying.

    If you’re in Rome and looking for a place to relax then do check out www.europamulticlub.com

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COLUMN | Community Chest

    This month our issue is dedicated to ‘Community’. I must admit that I don’t really like the word ‘community”. It conjures up lacklustre municipal buildings on rough estates where they engage youngsters in crafts (I hate that word too). So what about the gays: are we a community or just a disparate bunch of people with our own agendas and needs? (more…)

  • Are We Ready To Dump LGBT Term?

    Pink Therapy has made a case for the LGBT term to be changed to “Gender and Sexual Diversity.” Are we ready as a community to change names?

    LGBT has been used since the 1990s to denote people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans. The acronym has grown, but still cannot contain the diversity of the people who are not straight and monogamous.

    According to their latest press release Pink Therapy say:

    LGBT ignores the true diversity of sexuality and gender. Pink Therapy believes GSD, Gender and Sexual Diversity, is a more inclusive label.

    LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender), and its extended forms (LGBTIQQA, or LGBT+) are exclusive of the great variety of people who don’t live ‘traditional’ lifestyles (e.g. heterosexual or monogamous).

    The term ‘GSD’, or Gender and Sexual Diversity, encompasses people from any lifestyle, sexual orientation or gender identity.

    Gender and sexuality exists in such a wide variety of forms, that LGBT fails to describe a large number of people. Easily recognisable groups, such as asexual and BDSM, are ignored by the classical acronym, but many people have identities which are an amalgam of different types, such as being bi-romantic, but homosexual, a member of the BDSM community, and a swinger.

    The result of this exclusion is both legal and practical. BDSM is legally considered by many psychiatrists as a ‘disorder’ in most countries, and perceived publicly as a perversion, despite all scientific evidence to the contrary. Couples who engage in a BDSM or kink relationship can and do lose their jobs and children if they are discovered.

    Not only that, couples in these often uncounted groups are not provided for by mainstream counselling services, due to a lack of awareness or concern. In recent research, Pink Therapy found 38% of their respondents identified as having a BDSM lifestyle and 48% of the heterosexuals identified as BDSMers who had very few places to resolve their relationship issues.

    Respecting how a person feels, and not how a person ‘should’ feel, has always been a central motivation for the Human Rights movement. GSD extends this basic right to people who are excluded by LGBT+.

    Pink Therapy advocates the new terminology in the hopes it will foster greater inclusivity.

     

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