Category: Comment
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COMMENT | Honour Each Day
An optimistic approach to the challenging times ahead.
January is always a good month for evaluating; embracing the possibilities of what is to come. Usually, I write a list of achievements from the previous year, and think about what I would like to achieve in the year ahead.
2012 was a good year for the most part. For the UK it saw a whole multitude of events which made me feel extremely proud to be British. But on a personal level, I graduated from Architecture, my second degree, putting the 100-hour working weeks behind me. Unfortunately, the latter half of 2012 has been much of a drag, which has come as an anti-climax. Endlessly applying for architecture jobs, 400 in total, and being told I have little experience to be employed in an entry-level position is beyond bizarre. Indeed a period of unemployment really makes one feel worthless. Alas, the challenging search continues.
In all honesty, it could have been a tougher time if it hadn’t been for a bucket load of optimism, and a continual list of goals; making this period slightly more tolerable. So in 2013, I have said goodbye to any hint of pessimism and embraced the challenging times ahead.
Much like Chris Jones’ article on ‘Money Worries‘, I have been exploring a range of online shops to promote and sell a new range of artwork and prints. Although it will be a long road ahead, breaking the end goal down into manageable chunks makes things seem a little clearer; a kind of financial plan for a creative business. Thankfully I have secured a couple of exhibitions in Leeds during February, and the selling of work is increasing slowly. All in good time.
The lowest point of the year so far has been declining an interview for a phenomenal architecture practice in Switzerland, as the cost of travelling over was too high to justify. Nevertheless, I am a big believer that every choice has its benefits, so by not going, a new set of options will inevitably open.
So a piece of advice for those are finding their current employment situation challenging, follow your instinct and honour each day.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
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COLUMN | Homophobia In Hollywood?
It’s the age old question.
So the at the Globes last week, Jodie Foster “came out”… Can’t say I, or indeed anybody was surprised. In fact, I’d have been more surprised if she had arrived with a man.
Don’t get me wrong, it WAS very brave. I wouldn’t come out with Tommy Lee Jones in the front, giving me the critical burning gaze that he gave everybody that night. Now… don’t turn on me here, but I found her coming out really uncomfortable. She won the Cecil B De Mille award and she certainly deserved it more than anybody else that night, but was there any need for her to do it? Saying it in perhaps a magazine interview or on Ellen or something would have been great! The perfect platform to confirm everybody’s suspicions!
Yet at the same time it was undeniably genius, she didn’t quite SAY it, but she couldn’t have implied it any heavier if she had walked on stage with a strap-on wildly flailing around beneath her stunning gown. She did have this incredibly blunt yet delicate way of putting it across, which I admire her for no end I just feel it could have been better suited elsewhere. Maybe it’s just me, perhaps Foster used to spotlight to get an important message across, I just never really got it.
Recently Rupert Everett advised gay actors to stay in the closet. Personally I’m not a fan of Rupert Everett; I think he tries too hard. Everett, instead of encouraging young Hollywood to stay in hiding, should have encouraged them to be open about their sexuality, instead of putting them off. Everett said this because “Gay men aren’t being cast in straight roles”. Yes they are Rupert; you’re not because you’ve been creating negative press like this for a while. Other actors are getting the roles you want, not because they are straight, but because they are better actors than you. Sorry, you probably prefer to be called a “Thespian” or something equally as pretentious.
On the other hand, Hollywood is homophobic. In the sense that if you have made a career from portraying drag queens in movies or flaming homosexuals you’re not going to be the first choice for the next Die Hard movie. It makes sense. There are plenty of roles in Hollywood movies for gay men, not necessarily the macho roles, but there ARE opportunities out there. Hollywood is brimming with gay actors playing a varied mix of characters, for example Neil Patrick Harris, Ian McKellen, Denis O’Hare, Victor Garber and Zachery Quinto, all of which are well known, in the public eye, OUT and all have played undeniably straight roles in popular films and shows.
So is Hollywood homophobic?
Only to the moaning and bitter. I’m looking at you Rupert.
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COLUMN | Hush Now
This month’s edition is all about ‘Challenging Times’. I’ve been through a few challenging times myself and I must admit that I find the human race a bit challenging at times also. I do, however, feel that rather than being challenged by others and the times we live in, maybe we should be doing the challenging. We gays are after all, arbiters of good taste and decorum. We’ve a duty to pass it on to others.
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COLUMN | Hush Now
This month’s edition is all about ‘Challenging Times’. I’ve been through a few challenging times myself and I must admit that I find the human race a bit challenging at times also.
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COMMENT | Dry Out January
Hello, everyone. My name is Graham. Today is January the 16th and I’ve been sober for 16 days now!
Without the risk of sounding smug, It’s actually been quite easy to achieve. Every morning I have woken up a little later as I’ve been sleeping deeper and deeper. A little bit worried that by the end of the month I may not wake up at all! I seem to have a clearer head whilst working, and still find myself quite focused come 3 o’clock when I’m usually screaming for coffee. However, there was a fast approaching weekend ahead of me and all the party buzzers inside me were starting to tingle.
I knew I’d have to find another focus other than going to the pub, clubbing with friends or raiding the wine rack at home! There had to be something that would take my mind off the thoughts of alcohol. I tried a few things. I went for a walk. This was hampered by the fact I had to walk past six bars full of happy drinkers all singing ‘Oom pah pah’ and clinking glasses joyously celebrating the weekend. lucky drunks!
By now I was unsure who I had turned into as phoning the parents suddenly seemed a great idea. The repetitive conversations and stories about family ailments, all made for interesting listening when fuelled on gin, but sobriety has an ugly side! It keeps the mind clear so you remember every uneventful story told. I couldn’t rid the tales of how the paperboy had been dumping papers in their bin instead of delivering them. I was getting involved saying how outrageous it was and that they should call the paper shop. I was starting to feel angry that some young lad being paid £10 a week wasn’t doing a proper job. What was the world coming to?
I needed a drink!
I sat thinking of the good old days when I’d go to the fridge and crack open a cold bottle of beer and It was then it hit me. We had been sent some Non Alcoholic beer to try. Well, what’s the worst that could happen? I wanted a beer. I didn’t want alcohol. 1 plus 1 equals non alcoholic beer. Genius!
The shape of a green glassed beer bottle winked at me from the fridge saying go on try me. I’ve never had a 0.00% alcohol beer before so this was going to be either the greatest invention ever or a major disappointment. Thankfully I can report it to be a happy experience. A little strange at first as it was more sweet than my usual beer. It reminded me of barley sugar which was quite nice. It was Friday night and I was gonna party away. Pizza ordered. DVD on home screen. First cold beer in hand. Perfect.
I was also convinced I had fooled the brain into thinking I was drinking alcoholic beer and that all in the World would be great again. It was. I had a great Friday night and was up fresh eyed on Saturday ready to tackle the housework without the heavy head!
Will keep you posted in part 3 at the end of the month if I survived a month off the drink.
If you’re looking for an alternative to alcohol then the beer I tried was Equator beer flavour drink. It has 0.00% Alcohol, 0 Calories and 0 Sugar.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
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COLUMN | The Case Of The Ex
What is it about gay men and their exes? Heterosexuals seem to have it so much better sorted out: divorce him/avoid him/insult him. We, on the other hand, like to remain friends.
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COLUMN | Money Worries
So, there I was, plodding along in a job i didn’t mind, plotting and planning my escape route for when I’m ready when – you guessed it – the rug goes out from under, REDUNDANCY.
That dreaded word for most people, but especially when you’re the wrong side of 40. I’m far too cute to starve!
Knowing I had some time before the end was nigh, I started to put my plots and plans into action. My idea was to use the redundancy to live on for a few months and establish my own arty/crafty business, with some writing, selling photographs and eBooks thrown in – a real 21st century portfolio career. I had a website in place, I opened several online shops with major online retailers, I created eBooks and added them via Amazon, I found sites willing to sell my images in all types of formats and sizes, I signed up to sell my Instagram images, I wrote for free on online sites – truth be told, I spread myself so thin I couldn’t see what it was I wanted to do and make sure I did it.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was opening my own stall/shop within an existing retailer – totally the wrong thing to do, too much of a financial gamble and no research beforehand. Wrong location, wrong audience, wrong choice!
Did I care? Not a bit – I was off and running, without a clear goal in sight and no map to guide me…
Who needs a solid job with a dependable pension? Does such a thing exist anymore? Who wants to be a wage slave, living for the end of each month and being a weekend millionaire?
An honest answer? Me! I’ve spent nearly 4 months self-employed and made a grand total of bugger all. My accountant is going to pee himself when he sees my end of year figures. Turns out that writing for free is a hobby, having a shop that costs you 3 times as much to run as it takes is not good business practice and if anyone tells you that you can make a fortune online, pushing your goodies via Twitter and Facebook – you have my permission to stick their smart phone where the sun don’t shine.
I’ve come to a startling revelation over the past few months – whilst I enjoy what I do in terms of being creative (writing, making stuff, drawing things and taking snaps) I enjoy paying my bills more. There is no short cut, it’s a hard slog – but it’ll be worth it eventually. My redundancy is nearly gone, so its back to full time employment I fear, but I won’t give up the dream – I just prefer it with heating, lighting and food on the table…
Visit Chris’ shop at
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COLUMN | Aaaaamerican Exports
Columnist Lewis Fellow takes a quick look at his favourite American Television programmes, past and present.
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COMMENT | Homophobic Abuse Or A Simple Excuse To Hurl Abuse?
Aren’t we trying to get straight people to accept us, not continue to hate us but worry about opening their gob for fear of being sent to prison?
Please make sure if you read this, you read the last paragraph. It explains that this is not directed at individuals, but at a specific topic recently highlighted in the news.
The most common type of homophobia today is uneducated people, who see us as an easy target to hurl some abuse at. How many times have us gays verbally abused someone because they’re overweight? How many times have we called someone a tramp because of how they dress where they live? AND ALSO, how many times have we verbally abused a gay lad because he was super camp? Surely the latter makes you just as homophobic?
I am all for fighting for our rights, and I respect the people who have worked very hard to make living as a homosexual as easy as it is today. Recent events in the news annoy me and not for the same reason most of you are annoyed. I am annoyed because some members of the public want a guy sent to prison for being mouthy in public. I agree justice should be served when an offence is committed, like physical abuse or life-threatening bullying; but all he was doing is taking the piss out of someone for being a poof!
We want to be equal, correct? We want straight people to accept us and not think we are annoying drama queens right? THEN STOP GIVING THEM REASON TO HATE US! When a guy calls me a queer, I laugh at them and sometimes offer them more time to think of a better insult. Do you think a straight person would even consider sending a gay to prison for heterophobic abuse? I refer to them as breeders all the time, not once has a heterosexual been offended.
I always remember my mum telling me, if you show that it gets to you when people wind you up; they are going to continue doing it. People should all take a leaf out of her book and brush off pathetic verbal abuse!
Next time you receive homophobic abuse, just walk on as all that was said was a cheap immature shot to get to you.
Surely we can’t justify convicting someone for a type of verbal abuse, when nearly all of us judge and take the piss out of others for reasons equally offensive to them.
HYPOCRISY
Noun: The practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behaviour does not conform; pretence.
I just want to say that this is no way targeted at the two lads involved in the recent event, one of whom I know more than the other and know he is a very nice, caring guy; I know they weren’t expecting this to be such a viral cause.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
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COLUMN | Merry Christmas From The Church
Well Christmas is over for another year, and what did we learn from it.