THEGAYUK

Tag: Film Review

All the latest film reviews for LGBT themed films and others.

  • 60 SECOND FILM REVIEW | Batman V SuperMan

    60 SECOND FILM REVIEW | Batman V SuperMan

    BATMAN V SUPERMAN : DAWN OF JUSTICE – Endless muscles in tight spandex fighting for dominance

    CREDIT: Warner Bros
    CREDIT: Warner Bros

    Nutshell – For once all the opinions and advance reviews are spot on. It is overlong, extremely confusing and although fine just not as good as you want it to be. DC comics set out to do a Marvel ‘Avengers’ and launch a huge network of films off the back of this movie which features no fewer than 7 separate superheroes all due their own films with an incredible 10 movies depending on this one’s success. Following directly on from ‘Superman’s’ Man Of Steel movie the two main protagonists both believe the other is simply plain bad news for planet earth and set out to make Metropolis or Gotham one superhero lighter. Legendary Superman baddie Lex Luther really starts screwing things up along the way and Supes has his usual love interest Lois Lane but Batman does not and in all that tight leather one starts to suspect he bat’s for our team.

    Time – Holy bat haemorrhoid’s a ring punishing 151 mins; Certificate – 12A so no real violence here

    Tagline – “Who Will Win” or ” The World’s finest have arrived” take your pick

    THE GAY UK FACTOR – If you are into leather there is a tonne of it, tight spandex with bulges even more. Henry Cavill was recently voted fourth sexiest man on the planet and here we see him climbing into the bath-tub with a naked Lois Lane but he keeps he clothes on – damn you kid friendly cinema ratings we were hoping for the Cavill cock or at least an ass shot.

    ADVERT

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    Cast – Four Oscar winners all running on automatic here. Ben Affleck as the Bat has two statuettes but not for his acting, Kevin Costner, Holly Hunter & Jeremy Irons won’t get more awards here. Henry Cavill probably the worst actor on the planet not called Sam Worthington, Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network) with all the best lines like a good baddie should have, Amy Adams (Enchanted) as Lois Lane & Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix)

    Key Player – Gal Gadot, fresh from lighting up all the best Fast and Furious films this Israeli actress and super model only has 16 lines but Dame Judi Dench style steals the whole movie from the guys and when she turns up as Wonder Woman at one point one of the new franchises to be going forward the movie truly flies.

    Budget – $250 million one of the biggest budgets in movie history and at least you can say the majority of it is up on the screen. A few less characters and therefore less paycheques would have made a better more coherent film. It has made $170 million so far so looking OK in a sort of Waterworld way where it makes money but due to expectations everyone sees as a flop

    ALSO READ: Someone just made the Batman V Superman trailer gay and we love it.

    ALSO READ: Homophobe calls himself Batman before exposing his penis.

    Best Bit – 1.58 mins; When at last the two superheroes meet and start to duke it out so that they can save the life of another major character orchestrated by Luther. The idea that Batman with his earthly powers does not stand a chance against the alien strength of the world spinning Superman should be a problem but oh no this is a fair fight when who wins is always in doubt and keeps you on the edge of your seat.

    Worst Bit – 49 mins; When Wonder Woman breaks into lex Luther’s computer and discovers a handful of other superheroes such as The Flash, Cyborg and Aquaman all with their movie franchises to come but it’s when this film really starts to get unnecessarily confusing – one film at a time please guys. They are all due to form a part of the legendary Justice League hence the subtitle here ‘Dawn Of Justice’

    Little Secret – Ben Affleck stated in a interview that he had asked if he could have the batsuit when filming was complete. The producers said yes, but that he would have to pay $100,000 in order to keep it. Affleck quickly changed his mind and asked if he could just take a picture with it instead. This is the first Batman film ever to be released outside of the lucrative Summer blockbuster period and the first to be filmed in 3D. Matt Damon, Joachin Phoenix and Bradley Cooper were all sought for the Lex Luther part. This is the 10th Batman film in 75 years but the 16th for Superman.

    Movie Mistake – Quite a few we could mention the ever changing coffin lid at a key funeral, the movie script pinned to Clark Kent’s suit when he climbs into the bath etc but there is such a major goof that it just jars. After the two heroes have a very long nasty bone crunching fight where Batman’s cowl is smashed; the bat then flies off to beat up another bunch of thugs without any evidence of muscle strain! But what’s this? – The Bat is in a completely different batsuit and with no broken cowl yet only a couple of minutes had passed and in that time he had to get from Gotham to Metropolis as well – now that’s super powers or just truly crap continuity.

    Someone at the Daily Planet needs to check the spelling of the word ‘Mourning’ too.

    Awards – Maybe for effects, stunts and technical teams and Golden Raspberries for poor acting from Affleck and especially Cavill and maybe for director Zach Snyder who spent all that cash on a 3 star film and who certainly needs to find a decent editor to cut some scenes out.

    Zach you are risking 10 movies here on a gamble you may have lost.

    Further Viewing – Man Of Steel, The Dark Knight, Avengers Assemble, Alien V Predator, Iron Man 3 & Captain America Winter Soldier the best comic book movies and the recently released Gay porn parody of Batman V Superman from Men.com where Supe’s injects some serious kryptonite into a doubled over gaping bat hole or bat cave as it were… oh we mean ass!

    Any Good – Well it is fine, no better no worse, you won’t be asking for your money back and you will probably check out all the MANY films that will follow from this, in fact most of it’s problems stem from the fact that it is trying to set up a whole cinematic universe that will run and run for a decade rather than concentrating on this plot. Affleck is fine and although no Christian Bale, is worthy to continue in the black cape whereas Henry Cavill who is actually a Brit is at least very easy on the eye and gets to wear the tightest gear; He wants Bond but please Mrs Broccoli please don’t do it. The action is fine without being memorable, the early part is clever picking up from the previous Man Of steel film neatly and as for that solo Wonder Woman project well that can come as soon as it wants.

    Rating – 72/100 (72nd out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK filmatic ejaculatery heaven and 100 being as much fun as watching The Green Lantern film in a double bill with the stinking Fantastic Four movie in wet underpants and an overtight cock ring.

  • FILM REVIEW | Marguerite

    FILM REVIEW | Marguerite

    ★★★★

    An aristocrat who thinks she can sing but really can’t is the new French film Marguerite.

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  • 60 SECOND Movie REVIEW | Grimsby – The Biggest Penis You’ll See On Film – FACT

    60 SECOND Movie REVIEW | Grimsby – The Biggest Penis You’ll See On Film – FACT

    FILM: Grimsby

    Sacha Baron Cohen as Nobby in THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY.
    Sacha Baron Cohen as Nobby in THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY.

    Nutshell 

    This is a very adult comedy action spy movie rather than a spoof which we have seen before. A chav footie hooligan (Cohen) finds his long lost brother who is the UK’s top secret agent/assassin. After wrecking his latest operation they both go on the run across Africa and South America in an attempt to save the world from destruction by shoving things up their asses, sucking each others bollocks and getting covered in a lot of ejaculate. Very funny and very rude and mega sexy Mark Strong stops Armageddon with a dildo up the chuff so what is there not to like.

    Time 

    A tight jam packed 83 mins; Certificate – 15

    Tagline

     “MI6 Has a Brand New Tool” or “One Secret Agent, One Complete Idiot”

    THE GAY UK FACTOR

    Mark Strong the thinking man’s Jason Stathan get’s covered in cum not once but twice and this ain’t gay porn is he trying to tell us something.

    Cast  

    Sascha Baron Cohen, Mark Strong, Rebel Wilson, Sacha’s wife as always in his movies Isla Fisher, Benidorm’s very own Johnny Vegas, Ian McShane (Lovejoy), Ricky Tomlinson from The Royle Family and Cold Feet’s own John Thomson and many other cameos plus two Oscar nominated actresses in Penelope Cruz and Gabourey Sidibe.

    ADVERT

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    Key Player

    Like with Borat, Bruno, Ali G, The Dictator etc this is Sacha’s show period. If you like his humour you are quids in if not then give it a miss. He goes a bit over the top here with a 90 minute Liam Gallagher impersonation which does not really hit the mark but not only acts, he is in charge of the screenplay, his misses is the leading actress and other family members take charge of things like music and so on.

    Budget

    $35 million likely to gross just over 20 million – oh dear so not a Borat size hit then – trouble is for the International market is it is SO English – Jokes about Manchester United fans for example ?

    Best Bit

    0.48mins; Whilst escaping from a gang of gun toting thugs the brothers have to find a quick place to hide in the middle of the African bush. We won’t tell you what happens but it is one of those scenes that the whole film will get remembered for like Sharon’s snatch in Basic Instinct, the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally or ‘I am your father’ from Empire Strikes Back, yes it is that legendary a sequence.

    Worst Bit

    26 mins; Sascha Baron-Cohen sucks poison from Mark Strong’s bollocks for a very very long time in front of Grimsby Town footie fans.

    Little Secret

    None of the film was shot in the Lincolnshire fishing port of the title as the film crew never went further north than Essex. All the ‘Benefit Street’ type look that was used for the Grimsby scenes were planted around Grays and other Essex estates massively to the chagrin of the folks of Grimsby who feel as though they have been misrepresented. Cohen did visit Grimsby for research but thought the town that has appeared in such movies as Atonement was not right for this one, or maybe he got scared.

    Movie Mistake 

    So many bearing in mind the above filming location switcheroo. The very opening scene involving the purchase of a mattress supposedly in Grimsby town centre is then wheeled on a trolley passed many signs saying Grays which is in Essex 5 counties away which is one very long walk akin to a Sports Relief charity fundraiser. Then there is the Essex train station and so it goes on.

    Awards

    Not a chance in hell but wasn’t made for that purpose purely to provide a bunch of belly laughs to the Cohen faithful of the last two decades who won’t be disappointed.

    Further viewing 

    The Dictator, Ali G The Movie, Kinsgman of the secret service, Spy, The Life of Bryan and anything by the South Park lads

    Any Good 

    Definitely if you like Sacha’s output you will laugh out loud repeatedly. If you are not in the right mood you may find the whole thing a course James Bond lite farce with knob jokes and Cohen just doing his usual schtick. His character is pretty unloveable and probably his most hard to like to date but Mark Strong is a great straight man and the supporting cast he has put together is top notch. We are not expecting a sequel but if they did make one we would be there for sure.

    RATING

    68/100 (68th place out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK filmatic Heaven and 100 being as much fun as a Matt LeBlanc presenting a British car show outside the Centotaph).

  • FILM REVIEW | James White

    FILM REVIEW | James White

    ★★★★ James White | Amazing performances and a very original story make ‘James White’ a must see film.

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  • FILM REVIEW | Brooklyn

    FILM REVIEW | Brooklyn

    ★★★★ | Brooklyn

    This film has already garnered several awards and is up for a handful of Oscars too – and rightly so. This is that rare thing – a film that won’t offend anyone, telling a truly touching story, perfectly acted and beautiful to watch.

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  • FILM REVIEW | Freeheld

    FILM REVIEW | Freeheld

    ★★ Freeheld | A dying female police officer struggles to get her benefits passed on to her female domestic partner in the new film ‘Freeheld.’

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  • FILM REVIEW | How To Be Single

    FILM REVIEW | How To Be Single

    ★★ How to be Single | Not a film for you if you’re ready to mingle.

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  • FILM REVIEW: Spotlight

    FILM REVIEW: Spotlight

    FILM REVIEW: Spotlight ★★★★

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  • FILM REVIEW | Dirty Grandpa

    Both DeNiro and Efron star in the new rude, crude, and obscene film ‘Dirty Grandpa’. ★

    We are ‘treated’ to seeing Robert DeNiro (as perverted frisky and unsexed Grandpa Dick Kelly – get it?) masturbate to an interracial pornography video the day after the funeral of his wife who he was with for 40 years.

    We also get to see Effon’s (James Kelly) brother pouring beer over his dead grandmother’s coffin, Efron wearing a bee thong with his arse out in the open (several times), which at one point comes off causing him to expose himself to a little boy, while simulation with the assumption of oral sex between the two (I’m not kidding here) and an endless, and I mean endless, supply of cock jokes, and cocks (one scene has Effron and DeNiro sharing a bed together in which DeNiro sleeps naked, and the next moment there is a penis in his face supposedly to be Grandpa’s).

    This is not to mention scenes of Efron in jail with a fellow cellmate feeling him up, the one gay character in the movie being made fun of because he is gay, two inept police officers who all but ignore the town’s drug dealer (Adam Pally) who happens to shoot guns in his tourist a/k/a drug shop, and an extremely horny young woman (Zoey Deutch) who has way too much sex talk with DeNiro.

    It all adds up to one dirty, and bad movie. The plot is this: after the death of his wife, Grandpa Kelly wants to head down to his condo in Florida, so he tricks grandson Jason into driving him down there, much to the dismay of Jason’s fiance Meredith (Julianne Hough), who’s he about to marry and with the wedding rehearsal just days away. On the way Grandpa and Grandson run into Grandson’s ex-schoolmate Lenore (Aubrey Plaza), with the aforementioned horny Shadia (Deutch) and the gay camp Tyrone (Brandon Mychal Smith) in tow.

    Shadia’s got the hot hots for Grandpa (to tick one of her ‘must do’ boxes) and Lenore will realize that she’s got the hots for Jason. It’s a road trip that ends in most of the character’s lives changed, as well as the audiences. You will walk out shaking your head and vow to never see a Zac Efron (and possibly a Robert DeNiro) film ever again. Thanks to Director Dan Mazer (The Dictator) and writer John Phillips for taking Efron and DeNiro to new lows in their careers.

     

  • FILM REVIEW | Naz & Maalik, a tender love story amidst barriers in their culture

    ★★★★ | Naz & Maalik

    Bedford-Stuyvesant is a tough neighbourhood to grow up and live in, it’s even tougher if you’re young, black, Muslim and gay.

    Naz & Maalik (Kerwin Johnson Jr. and Curtiss Cook Jr.) are two closeted Muslim teenagers who happen to be in love with each other. Their relationship remains a secret, not just to their families they are very close to, but also because of their religion’s condemnation of homosexuality. But Naz & Maalik shows us how both young men go about their daily routine on a Friday afternoon, it’s an afternoon that sees their relationship get tested over a series of events that take place on that day. They sell lottery tickets and saints cards on the streets to passersby to make a bit extra spending money, and then they go to their local mosque for afternoon prayers, where the preacher says a special welcome to any police or FBI who might be in attendance.

    A man on the street tries to sell them a gun that interests Maalik who tries to get the guy to bring the price down. They decide to just walk away and not buy the gun. But unbeknownst to them, the gun seller was an FBI agent (Bradley Brian Custer) who, along with his partner Sarah Mickell (Annie Grier), start following the young men around. But It’s Mickell who takes more of an interest, she corners them separately and questions them on where they were the night before, and while Maalik tells her that he was with Naz, it’s Naz who lies and tells her he was at another friends house as to not give Mickell an idea that him and Maalik are in a relationship. But the young men just want to be left alone, and to complete their day’s mission of getting a chicken to kill for Maalik’s mom’s birthday.

    Inspired by true events, Naz & Maalik poignantly tells what it’s like to be an outsider within your own community, a community that has been under constant surveillance since 9/11. And at its centre is a well-acted film by its two lead stars. Writer and Director Jay Dockendorf interviewed Muslims, including closeted gays, to get a realistic point of view. It’s an impressive first feature from Dockendorf.

    Available on Amazon

  • FILM REVIEW | Room

    FILM REVIEW | Room

    Room  | ★★★★★

    A mother and her son are trapped in a room and can’t escape in the very dramatic and suspenseful film ‘Room.’

    ‘Room’ will take your breath away. It’s one of the most talked about films of the year, deservedly so, with performances that are top notch. It’s an adaptation of a novel called ‘Room’ written by Emma Donoghue, who also wrote the script. And what a script it is. Although the film takes place in just a few locations, it feels like it goes far and wide.

    It’s a plot that could be ripped from the headlines: a young teenage girl was kidnapped at the age of 17 by a stranger and is held captive in a shed in his backyard with the young son who was born out of an unwanted sexual relationship with him – they call him ‘Old Nick’ (Sean Bridgers). Brie Larson plays Joy, and Jacob Tremblay is her son Jack, and both are superb. They survive in that shed, with grey concrete walls. it’s a room (or as they simply call it ‘room’), where they are held, prisoner.

    It’s got a skylight, a kitchen, a toilet next to the bed, a closet where Jack sleeps, a plant, and a mouse that pops out every now and then. And five-year Jack knows of no other life than the life he’s led in the room. He doesn’t really know anything about the world outside room, and he thinks that what he sees on television is make-believe, and not real people acting. When Old Nick pays visits to room for his sexual pleasure with Joy, Jack hides in the closet, and Joy refuses to let Nick touch him, or even to see him. But Joy has an idea that might work to get her son out of the room, and when the idea takes place and works, Jack is suddenly thrust out into the world. If you’ve seen the trailer you know that Jack and his mother have escaped the room, but it’s the five or so minutes when this happens that is the most suspenseful and compelling five minutes of this film, of perhaps any film, you will have seen for years. But Jack has to adjust to the outside world, a world he’s never been exposed to. This includes being exposed to other people, including his grandparents, the divorced Nancy (Joan Allen) and Robert (William H. Macy), and Nancy’s new husband Doug (Matt Gordon). And Joy has to adjust being out of the room as well – it’s an adjustment that’s not an easy one. Told from Jack’s point of view, we see through his very young eyes this brave new world that he knows nothing about, grandparents that he’s meeting for the first time, and more important leaving the room where he had lived all of his short life.

    ‘Room’ is a story about survival, emotions, and the tight relationship between a mother and her young son. It’s masterfully directed by Lenny Abrahamson who is responsible for holding our attention throughout the entire movie. It’s also credit to the actors who bring this story to life. Told from Jack’s perspective who is in every scene, we see his freedom as a rebirth of sorts, with Joy being his world in and out of the room. Only seven when he was cast, Tremblay captures, and holds us, in his every scene. It’s incredible that a young boy his age has so much range that he displays in the film. He’s simply incredible. It’s a shame that he didn’t receive a BAFTA, Oscar or Golden Globe nomination for this film, it’s the performance of the year. Larson is excellent as Joy. Larson rose to fame in her award-winning performance in 2013’s Short Term 12.

    She just deservedly won Best Actress at the Golden Globe Awards and is now the front runner for the Best Actress Oscar. But it’s Tremblay who steals the movie. He’s simply just amazing. ‘Room’ has been nominated for the Best Picture Oscar – deservedly so.