THEGAYUK

Tag: Just A Quickie

  • COLUMN | Smoking Is A Problem For Me

    I have an addictive personality, and smoking is the “in” thing at the moment.

    That being said, it’s not something I’m overly keen to stop. Whenever the graphic quit smoking ads appear on television, I will do everything in my power to try and ignore them; ironically I usually do this by getting a cigarette.

    I enjoy smoking. It satisfies me, relaxes me and allows me to think straight. Also it could kill me. Yet I tend to conveniently that aspect every time I fiddle around in my pocket, looking for a Zippo.

    Smoking has always been glamorous. I remember vividly watching Sunset Boulevard as a child and watching Gloria Swanson chicly draw back on her cigarette, held tightly between the most fantastic cigarette holder I had ever seen. To this day, I scroll through the wasteland of the internet, desperately trying to find one. I’m yet to find ‘the one’. (It’s the one in the picture above, should any of you find one and let me know. I’d be forever in your debt.)

    My fellow TGUK columnist Chris Bridges wrote a column a few weeks ago, which summed up my exact feeling toward cigarettes perfectly.

    “I fetishize cigarettes. I love the smell of fresh tobacco, the blueness of the smoke in sunlight and the look and feel of them. I love antique smoking paraphernalia. I had hypnotherapy and lit up as I left the office. I can tell you exactly what each nicotine replacement product on the market tastes and feels like. I start to fret if I have less than 60 cigarettes in the house and used to keep a backup pack in my locker at work. I’ve smoked in lots of places I shouldn’t have and braved wind, rain and ice storms to go outside at work for one. I think I may be a hopeless case.”

    If memory serves me correctly, a few months ago Chris and I actually vowed to quit and perhaps document our progress and help each other out. As of yet, silence has ensued from the both of us.

    Smoking is terribly anti-social. Having to awkwardly excuse yourself from a party or bar then meandering outside into the cold just to get one’s fix, is dreadfully monotonous Although I have come to find a sense of community with fellow smokers, we’re a dying breed… (Literally)

    I have tried various alternatives. I find all of them insufferable. The gum is essentially regular, less minty gum with a different packet. The patches make me twitchy and the new kid on the block “E-Cigarettes are utterly vile. They taste as if you’re licking a well-used ashtray and made me cough and splutter like somebody who just realised they ate a cheesecake made of asbestos.

    I hate smoking yet I have no desire to quit. I know that eventually I will have to, either because of a demanding boyfriend, an intervention or through the eventual exile of all smokers, an exile being led by a growing army of self-righteous past smokers who have recently quit and feel it’s their duty to preach about the benefits of being clean-lunged. Preach all you want, just don’t ram it down my throat, I need my throat clear for all the smoke. *Complete bastard smirk*

  • COLUMN | F**K The Guys

    Most people in a position of power seem to be putting out a certain message at the moment and that message is “F**k the gays” and I for one, am sick of it.

    Unless you’ve been living in a sort of media blackout, you won’t be at all surprised that most of us aren’t over keen on Suzanne Moore.

    In her most recent Guardian article, she implied that pretty much every gay guy was into rushed toilet cubicle sex and that we’re all terribly misogynistic. I find this a repugnant generalisation of gay men, and since when did liking cock more make you Anti-Woman? Piss off Suzanne. Also judging by some recent tweets, SHE KNOWS that she will piss all of us, which Is obviously her aim, and with controversy comes publicity, so good on you Suzanne, you’re getting your opinion out, no matter how vile and unnecessary it is. I’m going to quote a tweet of hers:

    “I’m quite old fashioned when it comes to queers” Nice one Suze.

    Obliviously, earlier this week, there was the big “debate” in which a group of decent people and their adulterous bigoted colleagues would get together, to decide whether gay people would be allowed the most coveted privilege that is of course marriage. I found this whole “debate” to be unnecessary, rushed and most of all patronising. There is no need for a debate, not when the subject being debated is essentially a human right.

    Apparently, my pals the “religious” people are up in arms about the whole thing!

    “We couldn’t possibly marry these beasts in our houses of worship and molestation!” They cry from their steeples… That’s how I imagine it anyway.

    Religion has nothing at all to do with marriage. Religious protection is the big issue, in which “churchies” are absolutely horrified at the thought of marrying us lot! Not that most of us even want to get married in a Church anyway, or a Mosque that’s for sure. Many are refusing to hold ceremonies there, and quite rightly in my opinion, at the end of the day, those churches are only big enough for one sexual deviant (The Priest)

    I couldn’t give a glancing f**k whether or not the Church is bothered by Equal Marriage, because marriage is ultimately about love, and not Religion.

    Another angle that these homophobes are using is that of teachers.

    (Before I enter my tirade, I would like to say I have all the respect in the world for teachers, they do a fantastic job, most of them anyway)

    A teacher is supposed to teach. They teach all different subjects, English, Religion, Science, Maths, Languages etc. Teachers are supposed to inspire tomorrow’s generation, nurture their minds and along with the child’s parents, mould them into the adult they will eventually become. So if that teacher is against equality and won’t even mention it in their classroom, then in my eyes, they shouldn’t be a teacher at all. The one example that keeps being thrown up is :

    “What if a Muslim teacher is refusing to teach children about equality, will they be suspended?”

    The answer, unfortunately is no. Which I see as rather ironic, seeing as Muslims are also facing a degree of inequality at the moment, so surely they should sympathise.

    I don’t know where the next few days are heading in terms of gay rights, but what I do know, is if they don’t go our way, I’m leaving this country for somewhere warmer and more accepting.

  • COLUMN | Homophobia In Hollywood?

    It’s the age old question.

    So the at the Globes last week, Jodie Foster “came out”… Can’t say I, or indeed anybody was surprised. In fact, I’d have been more surprised if she had arrived with a man.

    Don’t get me wrong, it WAS very brave. I wouldn’t come out with Tommy Lee Jones in the front, giving me the critical burning gaze that he gave everybody that night. Now… don’t turn on me here, but I found her coming out really uncomfortable. She won the Cecil B De Mille award and she certainly deserved it more than anybody else that night, but was there any need for her to do it? Saying it in perhaps a magazine interview or on Ellen or something would have been great! The perfect platform to confirm everybody’s suspicions!

    Yet at the same time it was undeniably genius, she didn’t quite SAY it, but she couldn’t have implied it any heavier if she had walked on stage with a strap-on wildly flailing around beneath her stunning gown. She did have this incredibly blunt yet delicate way of putting it across, which I admire her for no end I just feel it could have been better suited elsewhere. Maybe it’s just me, perhaps Foster used to spotlight to get an important message across, I just never really got it.

    Recently Rupert Everett advised gay actors to stay in the closet. Personally I’m not a fan of Rupert Everett; I think he tries too hard. Everett, instead of encouraging young Hollywood to stay in hiding, should have encouraged them to be open about their sexuality, instead of putting them off. Everett said this because “Gay men aren’t being cast in straight roles”. Yes they are Rupert; you’re not because you’ve been creating negative press like this for a while. Other actors are getting the roles you want, not because they are straight, but because they are better actors than you. Sorry, you probably prefer to be called a “Thespian” or something equally as pretentious.

    On the other hand, Hollywood is homophobic. In the sense that if you have made a career from portraying drag queens in movies or flaming homosexuals you’re not going to be the first choice for the next Die Hard movie. It makes sense. There are plenty of roles in Hollywood movies for gay men, not necessarily the macho roles, but there ARE opportunities out there. Hollywood is brimming with gay actors playing a varied mix of characters, for example Neil Patrick Harris, Ian McKellen, Denis O’Hare, Victor Garber and Zachery Quinto, all of which are well known, in the public eye, OUT and all have played undeniably straight roles in popular films and shows.

    So is Hollywood homophobic?

    Only to the moaning and bitter. I’m looking at you Rupert.

     

  • COLUMN: Pride Rage

    So the pope is now on Twitter.

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  • COMMENT: Bigots

    We all know one. You know one. I know one.

    I don’t like the expression.

     

    You’re either a racist, sexist, ageist or homophobic.

     

    I read an article last week. It quoted the Pope. He said:

     

    “Gay people are not fully developed humans”

     

    No. The Nazis were undeveloped people Benedict. Cough-Cough I digress.

     

    How is he getting away with homophobic outbursts like that? Say for example a comedian was heard saying black people are “not fully developed humans” or an MP was heard saying the same about women, there’d be utter outrage. Yet if you make outright homophobic statements you seemingly get away without any action. Obviously, earlier last week, the delightful Nick Griffin posted the address of the gay couple Michael Black and John Morgan who won their case against the chillingly bigoted Susanne Wilkinson who decided they could not stay in her B&B. He posted their address on Twitter. To thousands of people. Thousands of people who support this wannabe dictator. His punishment for posting their address to his vile supporters? Banned from tweeting… for a day. Big punishment for a man who essentially put their home and their lives at stake.

     

    Yet the ‘almighty’ Pope can publicly say such disgusting things. Oh I forgot… He can say what he wishes; because he fronts an organisation who’s standpoint on using HIV preventative measures, the woman’s right to chose and homosexuality to name a few, verge on the immoral. His organisation also has hundreds of years of power and a money reserve of millions to back its causes. I’m in NO WAY saying that all Catholics are immoral, but if you agree with the homophobic things he says… then you need to either have a serious re-think about your morals, or leave society. I don’t care how you do it.

     

    I know many Catholics who completely disagree with the Pope’s extreme views. So potentially the question is: Is the pope a true spokesman for all Catholics around the world? The world has opened its eyes and its mind… Evidently we’re waiting for the Vatican to follow suit.

     

    Being against gays, gay pride, gay adoption and gay marriage is fine. Small minded people are out there; let them think what they want to think. However, don’t dare try and stop gay people living their lives how they want to live them. There is such a casual attitude towards homophobia and I for one am sick of it.

     

    Until next time darlings. Saunters off to the drinks cabinet

     

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  • COLUMN: What Will We Become?

    Lewis Fellows ponders the questions about the labels we give ourselves in the LGBT community in his new column Just A Quickie.

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