THEGAYUK

Tag: Relationships

All the latest breaking news on gay and LGBT relationships. Browse THEGAYUK’s complete collection of news, articles and commentary on relationships.

  • Gay marriage wrecking amendments fail

    Wrecking Amendments fail in marathon parliamentary debate on Gay Marriage.

    MPs in the House of Commons rejected an amendment tabled by those opposed to marriage equality, which would have prolonged further voting on the forthcoming bill to legalise same-sex marriage in the UK

    The amendment tabled by former families minister Tim Lougton MP, would have extended the option of civil partnerships to straight couples, which many supporters of same-sex marriage fear would delay or scupper the same-sex marriage bill altogether.

    The amendment was rejected by 375 votes to 70.

    Ben Summerskill from Stonewalls wrote in a statement,

    ‘The amendment, tabled by vocal opponents of equality, would have resulted in significant delays to the Bill’s implementation. Tonight’s (20th May) success means that the Bill has survived all of the attempts made thus far to undermine it.

    ‘Tomorrow (2st May) the Bill will have its Third Reading in the Commons before it heads to the House of Lords where, as always, we expect a very tough fight.”

    Equal Marriage and #AggressiveHomosexuals began trending on Twitter last night during the parliamentary debate after Sir Gerald Howarth MP, stated that,

    ‘…I fear the playing field is not being levelled I believe the pendulum is swinging so far the other way, and there are plenty in the aggressive homosexual community who see this as but a stepping stone to something even further…’

    Sir Gerald did not elaborate on what further steps would be.

  • COMMENT | Can Anyone Really Be “Mr Perfect”?

    Can someone ever have no vices? Be so flawless that they seem perfect? And if so, is perfection what we seek? In this article, I’ll share an experience I had a few years ago; along with a realisation I had about aspiring to be perfect.

    I met this devilishly handsome guy online. We exchanged a few messages and decided to meet up. I took all the usual precautions when meeting up with someone from the online world: I arranged to meet him in a public place (a well-known coffee shop), let a friend know who I was meeting and what time I’d call in safe.

    He was one of those people that look even more stunning in real life than in their profile pictures. He had short-cropped hair, deep hazel eyes, a five o’clock shadow and his fitted tee a showed off a taut body. Our first coffee date went well and I established that he wasn’t an axe-wielding murderer.

    We shared a few dinner dates, a cinema date and even a countryside walk with a picnic date. I discovered that he didn’t smoke and rarely drank. When he did have an alcoholic beverage, he’d only have one or two. He told me that he liked to go to the gym three to four times a week and easily got his five-a-day in one meal.

    When my friends asked how it was going between us, I referred to him as Mr Perfect. I explained that I couldn’t find a single vice or flaw that he had. Comparing Mr Perfect with myself gave me a twinge of inadequacy. I had plenty of vices; I smoked and liked the occasional alcohol-fuelled night out. On top of these I was a chocoholic; lazy at times and could only manage to eat three of my five-a-day.

    Mr Perfect had noticed my vices and flaws. He was too polite to point them out, but did suggest that I try to cut down on the amount I smoked and offered to sign me in as a guest at his gym.

    Then one day I had an eureka moment; I realised that Mr Perfect’s vice was aspiring to be perfect. That he spent all of his time trying to be flawless. Mr Perfect wanted every aspect of his life to be perfect including his potential boyfriend: me.

    I grew up with Disney films that showed me that the ideal man, Prince Charming is handsome and flawless. And I thought that’s what I wanted; until I had Mr Perfect sat opposite me. We had a conversation and decided not to date anymore.

    I realised that as much as Mr Perfect aspired to be perfect, whatever his definition of that was, that he’d never achieve it. As every time he gets close, he’ll move the goal posts further away. Perfection is an unachievable goal, like trying to live for eternity.
    Through my experience with Mr Perfect I discovered what I want in a man. I want a man that has vices and flaws; as these are part of what makes us unique, diverse and multi-faced individuals. Remember – those who truly love us, accept us for our whole selves, flaws and all.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • France Becomes 14th Nation To Legalise Gay Marriage

    France’s Government passes same-sex marriage in final vote in Parliament.

    France is ready to become the 14th nation on earth to legalise same-sex marriage after the National Assembly passed the bill in a vote.

    331 voted in favour, while 225 voted against – giving same-sex couples the legal right to marry.

    Pinknews are reporting that the final step in making marriage equality law in France is for the president, Francois Hollande to sign the bill.

    President Hollande as already given his formal approval.

    The revelation follows the news that New Zealand voted in favour of marriage equality last week.

    However there has been much tension in France surrounding the issue of gay marriage with one major organisation, La Manif Pour Tous (Demo For All), coordinating mass rallies in the French capital, Paris.

    Indeed, tensions where so high during voting that “legions” of police were assembled outside the National Assembly with water cannons.

    In January over 340,000 people took to the streets of Paris to demonstrate against the bill.

    A less successful attempt was orchestrated by La Manif Pour Tous in London in Trafalgar Square last month.

    A number of high profile homophobic attacks have also been reported in the last few weeks. On April 6th a gay couple were beaten in Paris and last weekend a young gay dancer, Raphaël Leclerc was beaten in Nice.

  • Gay Marriage Now Legal In New Zealand

    Early reports are coming through that Gay Marriage is now legal in New Zealand.

    Reports coming through from Twitter reveal that politicians voted 77 for marriage equality and 44 against.

    According to @MarriageEquality on Twitter, New Zealand is the 13th country in the world to legalise gay marriage.

    Gay marriage is legal the following countries: Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Uruguay

    The bill introduces marriage equality for all regardless of sex, gender identity and sexual orientation.

    Meanwhile the hash tag #MarriageEquality overshadowed Margaret Thatcher’s hash tag #thatcherfuneral on Twitter. The former prime minister of the United Kingdom has her funeral today in London after dying a week ago from a stoke.

    Margaret Thatcher was known for her divisive leadership and in terms of gay rights was the country’s premier, when the first anti-gay law in 100 years was enacted in the form of Section 28, which forbade the ‘promotion’ of homosexuality in schools in the UK.

  • Dr Paul Cameron: Gay Marriage Will Shorten Lifespans And Cost Us More

    Family Research Institute founder states same-sex marriage will shorten lifespan of gay people.

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  • Watch This Spoof Anti-Gay Marriage Advert…

    If there ever was an advert to justify a ban on gay marriage, this might be it… (Spoof)

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  • COLUMN | Who Said Valentine’s Was Reserved For Couples?

    Sometimes I wonder if I am the only person who enjoys being single on Valentine’s. Surrounded by a mix of happy couples and those who are single and are desperate to even find a date seems to drive me to insanity.

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  • Perhaps Try Tantric?

    It’s Valentine ’s Day, the festival of amour, and, for once, I’m going to exchange my mood of belligerence for one of lurve, whilst I expound the benefits of tantric massage and how it can be incorporated into your love making.

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  • COLUMN | F**K The Guys

    Most people in a position of power seem to be putting out a certain message at the moment and that message is “F**k the gays” and I for one, am sick of it.

    Unless you’ve been living in a sort of media blackout, you won’t be at all surprised that most of us aren’t over keen on Suzanne Moore.

    In her most recent Guardian article, she implied that pretty much every gay guy was into rushed toilet cubicle sex and that we’re all terribly misogynistic. I find this a repugnant generalisation of gay men, and since when did liking cock more make you Anti-Woman? Piss off Suzanne. Also judging by some recent tweets, SHE KNOWS that she will piss all of us, which Is obviously her aim, and with controversy comes publicity, so good on you Suzanne, you’re getting your opinion out, no matter how vile and unnecessary it is. I’m going to quote a tweet of hers:

    “I’m quite old fashioned when it comes to queers” Nice one Suze.

    Obliviously, earlier this week, there was the big “debate” in which a group of decent people and their adulterous bigoted colleagues would get together, to decide whether gay people would be allowed the most coveted privilege that is of course marriage. I found this whole “debate” to be unnecessary, rushed and most of all patronising. There is no need for a debate, not when the subject being debated is essentially a human right.

    Apparently, my pals the “religious” people are up in arms about the whole thing!

    “We couldn’t possibly marry these beasts in our houses of worship and molestation!” They cry from their steeples… That’s how I imagine it anyway.

    Religion has nothing at all to do with marriage. Religious protection is the big issue, in which “churchies” are absolutely horrified at the thought of marrying us lot! Not that most of us even want to get married in a Church anyway, or a Mosque that’s for sure. Many are refusing to hold ceremonies there, and quite rightly in my opinion, at the end of the day, those churches are only big enough for one sexual deviant (The Priest)

    I couldn’t give a glancing f**k whether or not the Church is bothered by Equal Marriage, because marriage is ultimately about love, and not Religion.

    Another angle that these homophobes are using is that of teachers.

    (Before I enter my tirade, I would like to say I have all the respect in the world for teachers, they do a fantastic job, most of them anyway)

    A teacher is supposed to teach. They teach all different subjects, English, Religion, Science, Maths, Languages etc. Teachers are supposed to inspire tomorrow’s generation, nurture their minds and along with the child’s parents, mould them into the adult they will eventually become. So if that teacher is against equality and won’t even mention it in their classroom, then in my eyes, they shouldn’t be a teacher at all. The one example that keeps being thrown up is :

    “What if a Muslim teacher is refusing to teach children about equality, will they be suspended?”

    The answer, unfortunately is no. Which I see as rather ironic, seeing as Muslims are also facing a degree of inequality at the moment, so surely they should sympathise.

    I don’t know where the next few days are heading in terms of gay rights, but what I do know, is if they don’t go our way, I’m leaving this country for somewhere warmer and more accepting.

  • Government Vote In Favour Of The Same Sex Marriage Bill

    Yesterday, MPs voted by a majority of 225 in favour of the new Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill. The Bill will extend the legal form of marriage to lesbian, gay and bisexual people and permit religious denominations to celebrate such marriages should they wish.

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  • Opinion: Same Sex Marriage; No Brainer Or Political Football

    The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill is back before the House of Commons on 5th February.

    So what does the Bill do? Clause 1(1) declares simply that the ‘marriage of same sex couples is lawful’. So far, so good. Clause 9 provides that a civil partnership can be converted into a marriage. So far, rather better. The problems, some might say, start at this point. In somewhat convoluted language, clause 1(3) says that nothing in the canon law of the Church of England providing that marriage can only be between one man and one woman shall be contrary to any other law (i.e. the Church of England’s current ban on same-sex marriages will remain lawful). The Church in Wales is treated rather differently. Clause 8 provides that the law will be changed if and when its Governing Body decides to allow same-sex marriages in the future. No such provision is included for the Church of England. Whilst I am not a canon lawyer, I am told that were the Church of England to amend canon law to allow for the celebration of same-sex marriages, the law (i.e. the real law) would be amended to allow for this (with or without Parliament’s approval). I struggle with the subtleties of this, and suspect the real reason why express provision is not made for the Church of England to ‘opt-in’ later if it wants to is political. The issue of same-sex marriages is now the Church of England’s problem, and given recent debates upon the issue of women bishops and ‘celibate’ gay bishops, I wouldn’t hold your breath (unless you are prepared to do so for another 20 years).

    Finally, nothing in the draft Bill obliges any religious celebrant or place of worship (of whatever religious persuasion) to celebrate same-sex marriages unless they wish to do so. This is provided for in clause 2 and gives rise to the ‘opt-in’ provisions in clauses 4 and 5. Although this has caused consternation for some, I am tempted to justify it as a matter of practicality. However, such logic would also allow discrimination in other spheres on the ground of gender or race, which cannot be right. In truth, a balance has been struck between attempting to avoid discrimination against same-sex couples on the one hand and religious freedom and tolerance on the other.

    As a lawyer, I can live with the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill, although there is certainly room for improvement. What concerns me – not as a lawyer, but as a gay man – is that the Bill and the most vocal opposition to it are apparently (party) political. I imagine the government will be pleased that I am pleased that draft legislation has been brought forward to remove what some (including me) consider an obvious discrimination against same-sex couples. I don’t buy into the idea that civil partnerships are ‘good enough’. If a Jewish couple or a black couple or a disabled couple were only permitted to enter into a civil partnership and were denied the right to marry, I doubt anyone could justify such overt discrimination on the basis that a civil partnership is a marriage in all but name. I imagine most of those who object to same-sex marriage on religious grounds are appalled to see their objections being overshadowed by regional party chairman threatening to deselect MPs if they don’t vote against the Bill. The real debate is at risk of being lost in internal party politics.

     

    by Philip Marshall QC

    More about the author.

    Philip specialises in divorce and matrimonial finance cases. Called in 1989, he was made a QC in 2012. He is usually instructed in ‘big money’ cases (with 3 cases in the House of Lords) and has extensive experience of drafting pre-nuptial agreements and advising in civil partnerships disputes.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.