THEGAYUK

Tag: Relationships

All the latest breaking news on gay and LGBT relationships. Browse THEGAYUK’s complete collection of news, articles and commentary on relationships.

  • Poll Shows That Nine In Ten Gay People Support Same-Sex Marriage

    Poll Shows That Nine In Ten Gay People Support Same-Sex Marriage

    A new YouGov poll commissioned for Stonewall shows nine in ten (91 per cent) of Britain’s 3.7 million lesbian, gay and bisexual people support equal marriage.

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  • COMMENT | New Rights But Illegal

    I don’t know what just happened but the words ‘illegal’ and ‘banned’ have once again united themselves with homosexuality, thanks to this government’s expediency in changing marriage laws. It feels as though we’ve moved one step forward towards equality and ten steps back as gays and lesbians still can’t call themselves equal under the law.

    You have the right to get married… Just not where the heterosexuals do it
    Yes, even in 2012 as the world came to town to watch our spectacular, all-inclusive Olympic extravaganza and marvelled at our strident moves towards fairness and equality – homosexuals are still ‘locked’ out of the legal system.
    Culture Secretary Maria Miller outlined a proposal of “quadruple locks” to keep homosexuals still very much distinct from our heterosexual brothers and sisters, and within these locks we also lose some of our equality rights as well. Does this sound like a step forward to you? Does this sound like something you want done in your name?
    When Prime Minister David Cameron announced that “gay” marriage would become legal in this government’s term, the gay community had never felt so welcomed by a Tory premier, but it came with caveats. These four get-out clauses were outlined yesterday and in her statement Mrs Miller promised a “quadruple lock” to protect religious freedoms involving:
    1) No religious organisation or individual minister can be compelled to marry same-sex couples or to permit this to happen on their premises
    2) Making it unlawful for religious organisations or their ministers to marry same-sex couples unless their organisation’s governing body has expressly opted in to provisions for doing so
    3) Amending the 2010 Equality Act to ensure no discrimination claim can be brought against religious organisations or individual ministers for refusing to marry a same-sex couple
    4) The legislation explicitly stating that it will be illegal for the Church of England and the Church in Wales to marry same-sex couples and that Canon Law, which bans same-sex weddings, will continue to apply
    In essence, anti-gay sentiment can still rear its ugly head from the pews and altars of un-’opted in’ churches, bigots can still hide behind their bibles and an amendment to the Equalities Act 2010 which leaves us with less rights than before – and of course we’re still illegal in the Church Of England – an organisation which has been developed and presided over for centuries, with some remarkably ‘godless’ acts including divorce, to suit. Lest we forget.
    So you can now have your gay sex with your same sex partner in the houses of Christian B&Bs but you definitely can’t tell a congregation of loved ones, that you love, cherish and adore your same-sex partner in the eyes of your God or a un-‘opted in’ priest.
    For me the question of marriage equality has never been about whether a man and a man or a woman and a woman should get married in a Church – it was about the naming rights for the partnership between two people. I don’t want to get civilly partnered, nor do I want to be dissolved should the need arise. Firstly, anything with the word ‘civilly’ in it sounds dreadfully 70’s and like a council initiative; secondly, the other is best left for the Solpadeine plunked in ice cool water for the day after our marriage.
    In a perfect world couples regardless of the orientation of sexuality should have a partnership that suits them. Civil or Marriage. Heterosexual or Homosexual.
    This current fudging of the law has once again brought religion in to marriage and put the words illegal and gay in the same sentence. Marriage – has always been a contract. Contracts are legal. Legal is politics and people. Again the gay community find themselves in the bright and unfaltering light of religious judgement and I for one am fed up of it. I want subdued backlit lighting, from John Lewis and the right to call my relationship to my partner a marriage. Isn’t it time we separated Marriage and religion for everyone?
    Apparently, we’re still not good enough for God(s), and his/her various places of worship. Just who is getting God’s messages on this issue? We’re not still using that dusty old book introduced in the current vernacular in 1538 to base our judgements on equality for every man, woman and beast on it, are we? If so we’d better start untangling our entire legal system.
    And incase you’re wondering on what grounds you can separate from your newly wedded husband – adultery isn’t one of them. The government says it has no plans to change the definition of adultery or non-consummation of your marriage. That’s right, the sex or the affairs we may have as homosexuals aren’t even equal in the eyes of the law. By process of elimination does this mean that gay marriages will be recognised by law anyway if we can’t consummate, even if we bugger in front of Christian B&B owners? This means that neither can be cited as grounds for divorce.
    We’re still very much on the periphery. Always the bridesmaid – never the husband in the eyes of the congregation.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • A Post-Dated Wedding Invite To Mr David Cameron

    I have been engaged to my partner for the past four years however I do not want to tie the knot just yet. It is not because I am afraid of commitment, in fact quite the opposite as it was me who went on bended knee in the pouring rain to propose to my man.

    The reason is that I want to be married, and by this I do not mean a ‘civil partnership’ that was offered up as a consolation prize back in 2004. Although it was a huge step forward and aided many of my friends to express their love and commitment in front of their friends and family, there is no getting away from the fact that we are still not equal to straight couples.
    So with David Cameron announcing today that he didn’t want gay people to be excluded from a great institution like marriage and actively showed his support for equal marriage, I am now re-considering our wedding plans. I can only imagine this is going to instil the fear of god into my partner as the last estimated cost came into a scary looking figure, however he will not be the only one having sleepless nights.
    With the church and many people within the Tory party still strongly opposed, it does beg the question as to whether any progress will be made in the near future. However when it does finally pass, and I am confident it will, there will be an invitation to Mr Cameron and his wife, although I can only assume I won’t be sending it to 10 Downing Street.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • LEGAL CLINIC: Can I Be Buried With My Partner?

    A reader asks our legal expert about his rights to be buried next to his partner. (more…)

  • LEGAL ADVICE: Will My Partner Be Okay Without A Will?

    Dear TheGayUK

    My partner and I have been together for 6 years and although we’re not civilly married, I was wondering what our rights were in case of an accident or death. We currently rent and don’t own our house, but we do have various other assets such as stocks and savings. Neither of us have made a will. What would happen to the surviving partner if the worst was to happen? Would my assets go directly to him?

     

    Thank you for your time

    Steve N. Tunbridge Wells

     

    The simple answer is no. Currently co-habiting partners have no (automatic) legal right to inheritance from their Partner’s estate unless such inheritance is granted in a Will. Only assets that are held Jointly (such as Joint Bank Accounts) will pass to the surviving Partner by the process of Survivorship and requires the simple removal of the deceased Partner’s name from the account etc; such assets are not affected by the presence (nor contents) of any Will. In the case where the deceased Partner left no Will (or a defective/invalid Will) all assets held in the deceased Partner’s sole name will pass according to the Laws of Intestacy. The Laws of Intestacy stipulate who will inherit the estate in a strict order of priority of blood relatives, spouse/civil partner, children, parents, siblings and so on and so forth, co-habiting Partners do not feature in this list!

     

    My advice would be to always seek professional advice of a Solicitor to draw up appropriate “Mirror” Wills to ensure that the loved ones left behind are not unwittingly disinherited through inaction.

     

    This response is not intended to constitute legal or other professional advice, and should not be relied on or treated as a substitute for specific advice relevant to particular circumstances. Individuals should always seek legal advice from a professional which is specific to their unique set of circumstances.

     
     

    More About The Author

     

    You can find out more about Matt at http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/matt-parr/37/373/135

  • Make Him Melt With Your Magic Touch

    You know that story of Aladdin? The one where he rubs his lamp and gets his wishes? Well imagine your partner’s body is that lamp. A little bit of rubbing in the right places will have granting your every wish in bed.

    Massage is a feel-good indulgence and it has real health benefits. It’ll improve circulation by encouraging the flow of blood to your body’s tissues and get rid of metabolites such as lactic acids. By stimulating the lymph nodes, you can improve the immune system, but best of all it stimulates the endorphins. You know, the body’s natural feel-good chemical.

    So get your hands busy on your man – don’t go straight for the genie (new penis euphemism) try and rub around elsewhere and you’ll have him granting at least three wishes.

    Preparation.

    Ask your gentleman to lie stomach down on the bed. Naked. Now, this is the tricky bit, because you’ll probably want to get right down to business, but hold out – it will be worth it.

    Put some pillows under his stomach to support the lower back. You – the masseur, should wear some loose fitting cotton, full-length joggers or pyjamas. If you don’t the massage will feel quite prickly once you start using oils.

    Have the lights turned low, maybe some candles and some atmospheric and some music.

    Essential oils are an amazing tool for a great massage. Fran Johnson from Neal’s Yard Remedies says:

    “Use basil and lemon as they’d blend well. It’s all pretty subjective but you’ve got in there a base note of vetiver which is strengthening and an aphrodisiac, reviving and restoring basil with a top note of stimulating lemon. You could also use patchouli instead of vetiver as is a nice skin oil too along with black pepper which is strengthening & stimulating possibly with a drop of luxuriously de-stressing rose? The latter is probably more sensual and the former more energising …”

    Place a pillow under his head so he can rest his head to one side comfortably.

    Feet. Gently rotate each foot in circular motions 3 times clockwise and anticlockwise. Cup your hands around the ankles and rub downwards towards the toes. Work your thumbs into the sole of each foot and the arch of the foot. Feet carry a lot of tension, especially if your man spends a lot of time on his feet. Gently pull each toe to help release any tension in the toes. Sometimes you may hear them click as they release, this is fine and normal. Listen to his reaction. You soon learn what he loves and what he’s less keen on.

    Legs. Working upwards, warm some essential oil into the palm of your hands and work your palm upwards towards the heart. Use moderate strength. When you reach the calf area use your thumbs into each of the calves. The calves are huge and strong muscles and may need extra attention. Keep the massage movement long and sweeping. The blood should really start pumping as you near the…

    Buttocks. As tempted as you might be to stop off here and end the massage tour of his body. Don’t! It will be all worth the while when you’re done. The butt is the biggest muscle in the body, you can apply much greater pressure here to help release any tension that he may have. If your man is feeling a little self-conscious, then always massage from the outside edge of the buttock to the middle – if you work the other way round you will open the cheeks of the buttocks and expose him, which may make him feel uncomfortable.

    Back. Running your fingers up his back should literally have your man squirming in pleasure. The back is a huge erogenous zone for many men – so he’ll enjoy a variety of different techniques here. Tracing his spine with your two thumbs run the entire length of the backbone, stretching out the top of the neck when you get there. The lower and middle back may be carrying a lot of stress, especially if he works in an office all day and sits for extended periods. Using some more oils and gauging your partner’s reactions start are the base of his back and work the muscly area either side of his spine. The shoulders maybe tense so start gently with your thumbs, progressively increasing the pressure to rub out those crunchy muscles.

    Shoulders. Work your thumbs in circular motions; gently apply pressure and kneading the muscles. Be careful not to place both hands on the neck as this will feel like you’re about to strangle him.

    Neck. It’s a very sensitive area, so again be gentle. Gently stroke and work your thumbs and fingers into the sides of the neck. Work your way into the back of the head, and gently knead the scalp.

    With long sweeping motions run your hands doing his neck to his coccyx (tailbone just above his asshole.) Do this a few times. This should really get him purring. Run your fingers down his crack to his scrotum – he’ll most naturally open his legs wider for you to gain access. Run your fingers around the area to really get his passion lit.

    Then let the passion commence. You can use the oils to have a slippery time together rubbing your bodies against each other – but it is best to rub away oils from the anus if you are going to penetrate. Essential and other massage oils will damage condoms and weaken condoms. Always use a water based lube with condoms. Never use essential oils as a lubricant for sex. You don’t want to end up in A&E. 

  • Sex With Strangers, Understand The One Night Stand

    For those of you who read my last article, you’ll remember that I said the main thing to remember whilst dating, is to tell the truth, and be totally honest. Well, this piece boasts the complete opposite!

    When it comes to the traditional one night stand, or having sex with strangers, none of the honesty or rules of chivalry apply! In fact, you probably stand a better chance of pulling, if you employ full use of your carefree attitude. So guys, when you’re getting ready to go out tonight, make sure the last thing you put on, is your shagger swagger!

    The beauty of having sex with a stranger is that it can be completely anonymous, and string free. The best part of a relationship, with the added bonus, that it only lasts one night! For those of you that have never slept with a stranger, are you starting to see the appeal yet?

    My advice is to completely invent yourself a pseudonym, build up a whole alter ego, do whatever you like, be whoever you like and do it with whoever you want to do it with! You have to make sure though, that when you’re building up your night-time image, that you have to remember your story! Stick to the lies, you’ll thank me in the morning – never let your secret slip!

    Experiment, it’s always fun to try new things! If one nighters aren’t your thing, then honey, pick up your Bible and tighten up your chastity belt, 2012 isn’t the year for you! If you’re thinking of trying it out, then do it – don’t think too much, you might change your mind! If you’re a more seasoned bed hopper though, why not embrace your adventurous side – my motto – if it’s comfortable and slow – you just aren’t doing it right!

    In my experience, it’s for the best that you Never Swap Numbers, once you do, you run the risk of (a) if you rocked his world, gaining a stalker (b) having to admit you lied and (c) making awkward conversation because you’re too nice to tell him to leave you alone! If you don’t feel comfortable saying no to giving him your number, and can’t make one up off the top of your head – take his, tell him your phone is dead and discard on the way home!

    When sleeping with strangers, it’s a good idea to make sure you watch your level of Intoxication, you don’t want to be so drunk you end up waking up face down in a ditch, with your trousers around your ankles, and all of your possessions gone with the stars! I am going to say though you don’t want to be sober either; you just won’t enjoy yourself if you are! Get yourself to that merry state, and voilà, you’re in for a night filled with filth.

    And, as ever, we at TheGayUK always promote Safer Sex, you can never be too careful! We know that in the heat of the moment, taking the time to roll down your condom is possibly the last thing on your list, but you have to be responsible!

    I hope you enjoy your night, have fun, go wild but most importantly, think P.E.N.I.S. – Pseudonym, Experiment, Never Swap Numbers, Intoxication and Safer Sex.

    As I always say, don’t be a fool – wrap that tool! If you need any advice, or for more information on sexual health visit: http://www.gmfa.org.uk/sex/ better to be safe, than sorry!