You know that story of Aladdin? The one where he rubs his lamp and gets his wishes? Well imagine your partner’s body is that lamp. A little bit of rubbing in the right places will have granting your every wish in bed.

Massage is a feel-good indulgence and it has real health benefits. It’ll improve circulation by encouraging the flow of blood to your body’s tissues and get rid of metabolites such as lactic acids. By stimulating the lymph nodes, you can improve the immune system, but best of all it stimulates the endorphins. You know, the body’s natural feel-good chemical.

So get your hands busy on your man – don’t go straight for the genie (new penis euphemism) try and rub around elsewhere and you’ll have him granting at least three wishes.


Ask your gentleman to lie stomach down on the bed. Naked. Now, this is the tricky bit, because you’ll probably want to get right down to business, but hold out – it will be worth it.

Put some pillows under his stomach to support the lower back. You – the masseur, should wear some loose fitting cotton, full-length joggers or pyjamas. If you don’t the massage will feel quite prickly once you start using oils.

Have the lights turned low, maybe some candles and some atmospheric and some music.

Essential oils are an amazing tool for a great massage. Fran Johnson from Neal’s Yard Remedies says:

“Use basil and lemon as they’d blend well. It’s all pretty subjective but you’ve got in there a base note of vetiver which is strengthening and an aphrodisiac, reviving and restoring basil with a top note of stimulating lemon. You could also use patchouli instead of vetiver as is a nice skin oil too along with black pepper which is strengthening & stimulating possibly with a drop of luxuriously de-stressing rose? The latter is probably more sensual and the former more energising …”

Place a pillow under his head so he can rest his head to one side comfortably.

Feet. Gently rotate each foot in circular motions 3 times clockwise and anticlockwise. Cup your hands around the ankles and rub downwards towards the toes. Work your thumbs into the sole of each foot and the arch of the foot. Feet carry a lot of tension, especially if your man spends a lot of time on his feet. Gently pull each toe to help release any tension in the toes. Sometimes you may hear them click as they release, this is fine and normal. Listen to his reaction. You soon learn what he loves and what he’s less keen on.

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Legs. Working upwards, warm some essential oil into the palm of your hands and work your palm upwards towards the heart. Use moderate strength. When you reach the calf area use your thumbs into each of the calves. The calves are huge and strong muscles and may need extra attention. Keep the massage movement long and sweeping. The blood should really start pumping as you near the…

Buttocks. As tempted as you might be to stop off here and end the massage tour of his body. Don’t! It will be all worth the while when you’re done. The butt is the biggest muscle in the body, you can apply much greater pressure here to help release any tension that he may have. If your man is feeling a little self-conscious, then always massage from the outside edge of the buttock to the middle – if you work the other way round you will open the cheeks of the buttocks and expose him, which may make him feel uncomfortable.

Back. Running your fingers up his back should literally have your man squirming in pleasure. The back is a huge erogenous zone for many men – so he’ll enjoy a variety of different techniques here. Tracing his spine with your two thumbs run the entire length of the backbone, stretching out the top of the neck when you get there. The lower and middle back may be carrying a lot of stress, especially if he works in an office all day and sits for extended periods. Using some more oils and gauging your partner’s reactions start are the base of his back and work the muscly area either side of his spine. The shoulders maybe tense so start gently with your thumbs, progressively increasing the pressure to rub out those crunchy muscles.

Shoulders. Work your thumbs in circular motions; gently apply pressure and kneading the muscles. Be careful not to place both hands on the neck as this will feel like you’re about to strangle him.

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Neck. It’s a very sensitive area, so again be gentle. Gently stroke and work your thumbs and fingers into the sides of the neck. Work your way into the back of the head, and gently knead the scalp.

With long sweeping motions run your hands doing his neck to his coccyx (tailbone just above his asshole.) Do this a few times. This should really get him purring. Run your fingers down his crack to his scrotum – he’ll most naturally open his legs wider for you to gain access. Run your fingers around the area to really get his passion lit.

Then let the passion commence. You can use the oils to have a slippery time together rubbing your bodies against each other – but it is best to rub away oils from the anus if you are going to penetrate. Essential and other massage oils will damage condoms and weaken condoms. Always use a water based lube with condoms. Never use essential oils as a lubricant for sex. You don’t want to end up in A&E. 

About the author: Jake Hook
The editor and chief of THEGAYUK. All in a previous life wrote and produced songs on multi-platinum records.