If you’re looking to go to a nudist beach in Lisbon, Praia 19 is where you need to head to.
Praia 19 – Just north of the village of Caparica, Praia is a stunning stretch of beach where Lisbon’s gay community tends to go and strip off.
Yes, that’s right, it’s a nude beach, set amongst the backdrop of beautiful dunes and woodland with LOADS of convenient spots for cruising.
There’s a mixed crowd of locals and visitors from all over Europe (and the world) so you’ll have your pick of “friends” to make.
Getting to Praia 19 – It’s a bit of a schlepp, and while there are public transport links, the best way is to either hire a car and drive or just go on a beach tour. You can book onto a tour on for around €29 per person which includes round-trip transportation between central Lisbon and Beach 19, an English-speaking guide, a Gay Lisbon map and guide and even a beach towel to use during the day… which they hopefully wash THOROUGHLY!
When visiting the Seychelles, I was lucky enough to stay at the stunning Eden Bleu Resort, situated on the east coast of the island, Mahé. Eden Bleu sits on a man-made private island and is surrounded by a marina with multi-million pound yachts in every direction and a few minutes from the airport, and a quick 10-minute drive from the capital, Victoria.
Despite its sprawling grounds, the resort manages to remain fairly boutique in feel, designed to look like a plantation house that feels more in-keeping with the local surroundings.
The typical guest to Eden Bleu is surprisingly corporate, as the resort caters to a large number of visiting professionals either attending conferences or escaping for the weekend from South Africa and Mauritius. There are, of course, plenty of loved-up couples (a few of which were gay), and there is a distinctive absence of families (and therefore hardly any children!!!).
Staff and facilities
As expected the staff are amazing, with buckets of local charm and advice for those looking to see the surrounding sights. There’s a 24-hour front desk, a concierge, and Wi-Fi throughout, however I would advise downloading a load of Netflix shows before you leave home as internet speeds across the island are notoriously slow and prone to stopping entirely if/when it rains.
Unlike typical tropical resorts, Eden Bleu is not beach-based, forcing you to venture off the resort grounds in order to find some sand to sunbathe on (a definite plus in my book as I don’t really like to sit still on a trip). The resort runs complimentary shuttles throughout the day to locations such as Beau Vallon and Anse Royale beaches, as well as arranging sightseeing trips or a shuttle to the ferry so that you can visit some of the other islands.
Food & drink
A classic buffet breakfast is on-hand for all guests in the Marlin Bleu Restaurant which overlooks the pool deck and offers veranda seating so that you never need miss a drop of sunshine while you’re there. There are plenty of local favourites and plenty of dishes that marry Creole and modern styles.
A small note would be the limited vegetarian selection which, while delicious, can get quite repetitive if you’re dining there nightly. I’m pescatarian so eventually tried the red snapper, the national favourite, and it was frickin delicious!
Nightly rates
Seven nightly prices on a bed & breakfast basis in the Presidential Suite from £3975 per person based on 2 people sharing, and a Luxury Marina View Room for £1915 per person for two people sharing at the Eden Bleu Hotel. A nightly rate on a bed & breakfast basis in a six bedroom villa cost from £1100 for 12 people per night
Portugal’s capital city is one of the most popular tourist destinations in Europe. Just two and a half hours away by EasyJet, the city makes an ideal city break for the weekend. It helps that the weather is awesome and that it’s one of the most affordable of all the European capital cities.
Lisbon is often overshadowed by other great gay destinations such as Berlin or Barcelona, but with stunning views, heaps of history, and loads of gorgeous gays, Lisbon should absolutely be on your list of places to jet off to.
Lisbon’s gay scene is mostly divided into two neighborhoods: Barrio Alto and Principe Real. Both are very centrally-located, so if your goal is to go club-hopping, make sure you get a hotel/hostel/AirBnB nearby. Speaking from personal experience, stumbling down steep cobbled streets after a night of drinking and dancing is a LOT more treacherous than you think. And I wasn’t even wearing heels!
This is the real touristy area, where you can mingle with a load of mixed crowds of gay, straight, bi, and lesbian Lisbions. In fact, drinking in the street is a real part of Lisbon culture, so expect to see swathes of drinkers just standing in the street. This doesn’t mean the club is SO busy they can’t fit, it’s just what they do over there.
(Note, if you go during the winter months, it will be rainy, so take a hood or an umbrella for street drinking).
If you’re searching for some serious gay bars, this is where you’ll need to go. As usual though, we went out WAY too early. Clubs really don’t get going until 2am at the earliest, and many of them are located within what looks like residential houses. Lisbon’s Catholic roots meant that the gay scene was originally kept well hidden, and remains part of their aesthetic to this day. It seems fairly normal to have to knock on doors or ring bells in order be let into the really gay clubs.
Also, Friday night is not an especially gay night, with a lot of gay-specific venues only open on Saturdays. This was the breakdown of places to go I got from a guy on Grindr:
Finalmente – This clubs is the go-to gay venue and is pretty much packed every night of the week with Drag queens performing regularly. Trumps – Not to be confused with you-know-who, Trumps is known to be the home of the young and the beautiful gay crowd in Lisbon, and is especially popular on Fridays. Construction club – It’s tagline is “Built for you!” This hetero-friendly club is home to guys looking for something a little harder, edgier, and with more of a cruising atmosphere. Enjoy!
Let’s face it, one of the biggest appeals of Lisbon is – like it’s Spanish sibling, Barcelona – you can pair up a city break with a beach trip all in one visit. There’s loads of luscious beach to soak up the sun in, but let’s get down to the nitty gritty.
Cascais and Estoril – This is the home of elegant resorts that draw in the crowds of sun-seeking tourists.
Costa da Caparica – This is where the locals tend to prefer, possibly specifically to avoid said-tourists. With lots of high-rise apartments and camping sites, it’s not for everyone, but just beyond Caparica there’s an expanse of pristine beachfront that only gets more unspoiled and secluded the further south you head.
Lisbon’s nude beach!
Praia 19 – Just north of the village of Caparia, Praia is a stunning stretch of beach where Lisbon’s gay community tends to go and strip off. Yes, that’s right, it’s a nude beach, set amongst the backdrop of beautiful dunes and woodland with LOADS of convenient spots for cruising. There’s a mixed crowd of locals and visitors from all over Europe (and the world) so you’ll have your pick of “friends” to make.
Image source: Lisbon Tourism Board
Getting to Praia 19 – It’s a bit of a schlepp, and while there are public transport links, the best way is to either hire a car and drive, or just go on a beach tour. You can book onto a tour on for around €29 per person which includes round-trip transportation between central Lisbon and Beach 19, an English-speaking guide, a Gay Lisbon map and guide and even a beach towel to use during the day… which they hopefully wash THOROUGHLY!
Where to gay stay in Lisbon
Despite its MANY hills, Lisbon is one of the most walkable cities in Europe. So as long as you choose a hotel/hostel/apartment that’s fairly central then you’ll be able to get to pretty much everything without too much effort.
I stayed at the fabulous 1908Lisboa, which is the ultimate expression of boutique hipster chic located within minutes of the city centre. Yes, the room was lovely, yes the decor was cool AF, but it’s biggest appeal (for me) was the restaurant which was the perfect place to grab a big greasy breakfast when you get in at 7am before you crash.
Get yourself onto a sun-lounger, because the VidaMar Resort in Madeira is a sun seeker’s dream. This exclusive resort features a large sea platform and direct ocean access, and is surrounded by gardens with tropical plants and palm trees to shade you while you take breakfast on the veranda.
The hotel has a contemporary style with elegant décor throughout and spacious modern rooms with balconies overlooking the ocean and panoramic views over the bay of Funchal.
The Location
VidaMar Resort Hotel is nestled in the heart of Funchal, and is surrounded by several other high end resorts. However, the area doesn’t come across as crowded or touristy. I mean it is touristy, but feels more relaxed and welcoming than anything else.
Located right on the ocean, VidaMar is idyllic for sunbathers, swimmers, or those that want to stroll along the seaside. The Lido Promenade is a walking trail that stretches along the coastline, giving you easy access to restaurants, cafés, and leisure areas such as parks and public swimming pools.
The Room
I don’t know about you, but when I get into a hotel room I like to sprawl. I’m talking clothes on every surface and shoes all over the place. It makes a hotel room feel like home. With a separate lounge area, I could scatter my crap to my heart’s content and still have room to swan around without tripping over my things. The spacious Ocean View Room I was staying in included a king-size bed, sofa, dining table, Plasma TV and free Wi Fi.
Image source: VidaMar Resorts
I love a room with a view, and the VidaMar Resort totally delivered, with full-length French windows opening up to your own private balcony that overlooks the gardens, pool, and that piercing blue ocean. As an early-riser, it was a rare treat to sit out on the balcony with a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise over the ocean.
Image source: VidaMar Resorts
Perfect!
The Gay Scene
Sorry guys, there isn’t really much of a gay scene. However, switch on your Grindr and you’ll find locals and other tourists all within reach. The island is fairly small and the collection of resorts means you’ll find plenty of other travellers just a few scant metres away.
Our Verdict
Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous! The big selling point of the VidaMar has to be its swimming pools and sun lounge area, which, even in the middle of summer, was never crowded. There were always plenty of spots, and NO CHILDREN! Even those that are of the ginger persuasion (myself included) can enjoy a gloriously relaxing escape to the sun here. I can’t wait to go back.
The quest for the beach body doesn’t need to stop once you actually get to the beach.
(C) BIGSTOCK
Once you’ve worked your butt off to get trim and sexy(er) for your beach body holiday, it can be tempting to ditch your workout routine the second you clear customs. I’m on holiday, forget the diet.
And while I wholeheartedly support that (you’ve worked hard, you deserve a break), should you wish to keep up even a small part of your regime whilst away, there are a few things you should pack that can help you.
1. Trainers
Duh, I hear you say. But let’s cover the obvious one first. Don’t assume you can do a worthwhile workout in flip-flops, or barefoot. Take a good pair of gym shoes with you for your workouts that could even double up for those long walks around through the city or mountain hikes that you may or may not be inclined to do while away. Pack them in a shoe locker to protect the rest of your bag from dirt and workout odour.
2. Extra headphones
I don’t think anyone goes anywhere these days without headphones (well apart from my mother who likes to eavesdrop on the plane). But if you’re looking to workout while abroad, pack an extra set specifically for working out. That way you always have a backup and don’t have to get your travelling headphones sweaty when you’re working out.
A fitness tracker is a great idea in order to assuage any holiday laziness guilt by keeping track of just how active you are while away. If you’re on a city break or any kind of excursion you could be racking up the steps and burning calories you wouldn’t normally burn sitting at your desk.
I love my Fitbit Flex 2 as the battery lasts for days and it’s fairly inconspicuous, or if you want something a little more detailed you could grab a Ticwatch S for just £177.99 and download maps and walking tours directly to your watch. Two birds, one stone. Check out our full review of the TicWatch S.
4. Resistance bands
Image source: Amazon.co.uk
Resistance bands are the ultimate on-the-go training tool, extremely portable and endlessly versatile, you can keep up your strength and flexibility training wherever you are in the world.
5. Therapy balls
Image source: Amazon.co.uk
Giggle, balls. Joking aside, a good pair of balls could be a lifesaver on your next trip, even if you don’t plan of working out. A compact alternative to a foam roller, therapy balls can help release tight shoulders, sore feet, or anything else that aches. They nix tightness and keep our muscles feeling good wherever we go.
6. Packable yoga mat
Image source: Amazon.co.uk
These are great even if you have no intention of doing a single sun salutation. The simple act of laying out your mat creates a specific workout space in your hotel room, and the constant visual will remind you that you could spend a few minutes working out or stretching or planking.
The eKO SuperLite Travel Mat from Manduka is lightweight, has great grip, and is designed to be folded, not rolled.
While the majority of passengers on our flight did look like the cast of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, there’s more to Madeira than comfortable walking shoes and early bird dinner specials.
So here are 5 reasons the gays should put Madeira on their list of places to see:
1. It’s gay-friendly
Oldies aside, Portugal as a whole is very gay-friendly, and Madeira is no different. On a rainbow flag scale of gayness, I’d give Madeira a green. Gay-friendly but not especially gay-fun. So if you’re only interested in going to gay bars, staying in gay hotels, and “hanging out” with gay locals, then Madeira may not be for you.
There are plenty of gays there, just not in overwhelming numbers or in any concentrated areas. There aren’t any gay bars or even gay nights, but you’ll find a sprinkling of gays in some of the popular gay-friendly venues such as: Venda Velha, 23 Vintage Bar, Mini Eco Bar, Cafe do Teatro, Trap Music Bar, Copacabana Disco, & Escondidinho!
The word the locals I spoke to used a lot was “discreet”. The ageing population and traditionally Catholic background has meant gay life in Madeira isn’t overly loud. They do, however, have their own Pride which is celebrating its second year.
2. Perpetual sunshine
One reason the oldies love this place is its consistently constant weather. Though your guides will mention several times that there are multiple micro-climates on the island, you can be fairly confident to grab yourself some sunshine at any time of the year.
Whether it’s June or January, you’ll still be able to wear short shorts and get a nice tan (unless you’re of the ginger persuasion like myself, in which case you can get a nice sunburn). You’re looking at a range of temperatures from 12 to 19 degrees. So it’s sunny and warm, but you won’t burst into flames (again, unless you’re ginger like moi).
3. Food & wine
Any location that boasts a Mediterranean climate will come accompanied by luscious Mediterranean food. If you like seafood then book your flights and pack your elasticated waistbands. Tuna steaks the size of your head and the horribly ugly yet incredibly tasty Black Scabbard are local delicacies.
Image source: Wikipedia
4. Mountain hikes
If you’re not the beach resort type, or even if you are and you’ve had enough of lounging around the pool, Madeira’s volcanic nature means there are plenty of stunning mountain trails that you could follow for days.
When you get up above the clouds, the island has a confusingly Swiss feel about it, with some incredibly cute fluffy cows likely to block your path at some point.
5. Dolphins!
Even the hardest heart would have a hard time remaining cool at the sight of these amazingly intelligent and friendly creatures swimming alongside your boat. You’ve probably been on dolphin/whale-watching tours before where they warm you there’s a chance you might not see any when you get out there. And while we didn’t get to see any whales, our trip out in June meant that we were met by both local and migrating pods of dolphins. We were surrounded by roughly 200 of these amazing creatures, all of whom were curious and wanted to find out what we were about.
Guided by marine biologists who were incredibly respectful of the dolphins, limiting the time we spent with them to just 10 minutes at a time and always careful to keep our distance from mamas with their newborns. There are even excursions where you can hop in and swim with them in their natural environment.
That right there is reason enough for me to visit again!
Looking for accommodation deals for Madeira? Check out the latest deals with Hotels.com and Booking.com
Visit www.visitportugal.com and www.visitmadeira.pt for more information.
Wondering where the safest and friendliest places to celebrate pride in 2018?
Pride Kickoff Rally 2013, Tribeca, Manhattan
Airbnbreveal the world’s top destinations for an unforgettable Pride this year.
Through a specially commissioned study conducted by ABCD in May 2018, the people-powered hospitality platform with a mission to create a world where anyone can belong anywhere has found out which destinations have the most to offer LGBTQ travellers.
The study looked at 100 cities with the highest Pride attendance worldwide and found out which of these fared best under five different LGBTQ categories, including nightlife and dating. Here are the winning cities and categories:
1. OVERALL WINNER – New York City
The Big Apple not only offers one of the biggest Pride celebrations, it also boasts a bustling nightlife, a busy dating scene, well-established marriage equality and impressive Airbnb stats: the city that sparked the gay Pride movement following the Stonewall riots will welcome over 27,000 guests on Airbnb during Pride Week.
Traditionally a mecca for LGBTQ travellers, it’s no surprise that London topped the ranking for dating. Using data shared with Airbnb by Tinder this May, they discovered that the British capital has the highest per capita usage of LGBTQ Tinder profiles worldwide (via Tinder’s More Genders feature).
Sydney places 9 in the Dating category so why not take your date to Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Australia’s most successful musical? On this Experience, bookable on Airbnb, you’ll get to go behind the scenes and take a sneak peek at the costumes, wigs and make-up from the production that usually only cast and crew get to see.
3. NIGHTLIFE WINNER – New York City
Looking at the number of LGBTQ clubs and bars, New York City is a top destination in this category too.
The city that never sleeps is closely followed in this ranking by 2. Los Angeles, 3. Tokyo, 4. Berlin, 5. Madrid, 6. London, 7. Mexico City, 8. Paris, 9. San Francisco, and 10. Barcelona.
4. PRIDE WINNER – São Paulo, Brazil
Image credit: Ben Tavener / Flickr – https://flic.kr/p/nupESZ
In terms of sheer numbers attending Pride celebrations, São Paulo tops the ranking in this category. Approximately 3 million visitors attended last year’s celebrations.
Liniker, a popular transgender musician from São Paulo, will take guests to some of her favourite local spots and end her experience with a private listening session of her upcoming album.
Airbnb also looked at their list of cities to find out which destinations pioneered LGBTQ marriage equality. In the Netherlands, same-sex marriage was made legal in 2001, making it the first country in the world to do so. This places the cities of Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Utrecht in joint first position.
The Dutch paved the way, but these countries and their respective cities followed closely behind:
6. TRAVEL WINNER – London
For this category, Airbnb looked at cities that had the highest year-on-year growth in Airbnb guest arrivals during Pride. They also identified which cities have the highest number of LGBTQ Experiences on Airbnb and where you can find Airbnb Guidebooks with the highest number of tips for LGBTQ travellers.
160K+guests are expected to check in to an Airbnb during London’s Pride Week
The top city in this ranking is London, followed by 2. Los Angeles, 3. New York, 4. San Francisco, 5. Tokyo, 6. Paris, 7. Montreal, 8. Amsterdam, 9.Berlin, and 10. Barcelona.
Passport, check. Tickets, check. Travel insurance, check. Condoms? If you’re travelling you may not want to jinx your chances of overseas escapades by packing condoms, and while I would sternly disapprove of that, there is something to be said of sampling some of the local delights.
If you’re not bashful about buying condoms in countries where you can’t speak the language, you may be in for a real treat when it comes to wrapping your Johnny in something a little more… continental. Here are some of the weird wonderful condoms that you can only get in other countries.
1. TheyFit – custom fit condoms from Europe
TheyFit Custom-Fit Condoms
All men are created equal. In character perhaps, but not in girth. Many men complain about condoms that don’t fit properly, either cutting off their circulation or slipping off mid-thrust. But just like in the story of Goldicocks, these condoms are juuuuust right.
TheyFit currently make 66 different condom sizes – 10 different lengths, and 10 different nominal widths – in order to create the perfect fit, which feels better during sex. There’s even a downloadable Fit Kit on their website so that you can size yourself at home.
Sagami Original create the world’s thinnest condoms
To say these condoms are razor thin is actually doing them a disservice, as they’re far thinner than that. Sagami Originals boast a thickness of just .01mm. Putting that in some context, the average human hair is about .06mm thick. This featherweight rubber had supposedly been tested over 200,000 times in the before hitting the market, so while it may be so thin that you can’t even see it very well, you can be sure that they will be doing their job.
3. The spray on condom from Germany
Those kooky Germans would of course be the ones to create a spray on condom. Don’t get too excited though, because this product didn’t actually make it to market. Originally introduced in 2008, the spray-on condom was a hard plastic tube (giggedy) that would spray liquid latex onto the penis when it was inserted into it… the tube that is. A more perfectly snug fit couldn’t be possible, sounds good right? However, with no room left for the reservoir tip, and 3 excruciatingly awkward minutes for the latex to dry, the spray-on condom was never meant to be.
4. Biodegradable condoms from France
For the environmentally conscious lovers out there, The Original Condom originated in, where else, Condom, in France. In addition to being biodegradable, the manufacturing company shares a portion of its profits with HIV awareness prevention research and NGOs. These luxury condoms will make you feel like you’re giving back to the community every time you bone
5. The condom with a 4-second applicator from South Africa
Despite how porn makes it seem that condoms just magically appear on the end of a dick, it can often still be an awkward moment if you’re not 100% sure what you’re doing. So instead of getting kids to practice with bananas, South African innovators developed the 4Secs Condom Applicator. The applicator comes with a condom each and even has raised bumps to ensure you put it on easily in the dark. GENIUS!
6. Condoms where the wrapper is the applicator, also from South Africa
Determined to make condoms even easier to use, those little geniuses in South Africa created the Pronto Condom, which is unique in that the patented applicator is actually attached to the wrapper. You just crack the wrapper in half and begin to apply it to your penis, rolling it down as per usual.
The Pronto Condom was developed to prevent that common Condom Wrapper Limp Dick syndrome that affects a lot of men right before sex. To maintain the passion and sufficient turgidity, the Pronto Condom takes about 3 seconds to put on.
Just don’t get it confused with the flavour packet from your Super Noodles. That could cause problems.
7. The musical condom from the Ukraine
OK, this one may or may not exist, but just imagine if it did. In 2006, Hryhory Chausovsky was said to have invented a new type of condom that plays music during sex. There was a rumour posted on Oh Gizmo saying that “a miniature loudspeaker and motion sensor implanted in the condom’s upper cuff provides a range of musical tones during sex. Music volume depends on intensity of love-making and tone varies based on the sexual position.”
This could all be rumours or the pipe-dreams of a mad man, but just think about humping to your own sexual theme music. What a world we live in.
Israel is a land full of contradictions, as both the birthplace of the world’s three major religions and the first country in the entire Middle East to legalise gay marriage. It’s part desert, part war-zone, part perpetual pride parade.
So here are a few things to expect should you decide to take a gay trip with a difference this year:
When people think of Israel, they think of the capital city, Tel Aviv. And while it may be the home of one of the world’s greatest and gayest pride celebrations, there is so much more to Israel than Tel Aviv.
As the birthplace of human civilisation, the history of the country is staggering. I swear our tour guide very rarely began a story that didn’t start 2,000 years ago. At least. Much of the ancient structures are still there, allowing you to experience what life was like before Jesus.
Locations like Jerusalem, the Dead Sea, and Galilee, should definitely be included on any history buff’s itinerary.
2. It’s VERY gay-friendly
Despite its profoundly religious background, Israel is THE most progressive and gay-friendly country in the entire region. Having accepted gay marriage long before the UK did, that’s made even more impressive by the fact that the region and the country are so deeply religious.
LGBT-friendly bars and clubs are everywhere in Tel Aviv, and there are plenty of LGBT tours that operate all year round for those wanting to see the sights with some fellow gays.
3. It’s hot… in a good way
In some of the mountainous areas, the winter months can see snow while the rest of the country is wearing shorts. We were hiking up mountains in shorts and floating in the Dead Sea in November, and it was GLORIOUS!
4. It’s not cheap … not in a good way
Despite the thrift market feel of some of Tel Aviv’s best shopping districts, the city and the country as a whole, are not cheap. So don’t go out expecting a bargain-basement break when you visit.
Seeing as Jerusalem was where all three of the major religions were started, it’s not surprising that religion is deeply ingrained in Israel’s society to this day. It was fascinating (if not a little creepy) to be the only atheist in a city where Jesus himself hung out; seeing the tomb where he was supposedly buried, and the countless churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples crammed into this tiny little patch of land.
Every region in Israel claims to be the inventors of hummus, and that they make the best hummus in the world. So be expected to eat a lot of it. From luxury hotels to tiny street cafés, there’s plenty of variations to try, paired with endless servings of freshly baked pita. Indulge! It’s only chickpeas!
7. They will talk about the war… and it will be awkward
When you tell your mum you’re going to Israel, she will invariably tell you to be careful. And with so much talk about the many wars that have taken place in this tiny stretch of land over the millennia, I can understand why. It took us five days of history lessons before we could finally grasp the intensely complicated history behind the civil unrest that is still taking place. However, there were times during our tour when we were a few scant kilometres from the action, and we never heard a thing.
There are signs and novelty t-shirts making jokes about Palestine, but in my experience, it’s probably best not to joke about it too loudly if you’re not a local.
I like to think I’m fairly well-travelled, and I have NEVER experienced anything like the check-in procedures when visiting Israel. I spent easily half an hour explaining every detail about my trip and my travel history to the woman at customs, all before I’d even checked my back. (It probably didn’t help that I grew up in the Middle East and have a load of Arabic stamps in my passport).
I arrived 3 hours early, and I certainly needed that much time. They will ask lots of questions, they may take your passport and make you wait for ages, but they’re doing that so that they can keep their country safe. Do you blame them?
Take your damned laptop out of your cabin bag… creep.
In this golden age of travel, most of the millennial generation have been on international flights by the time they hit puberty. But just because travel is such a regular part of our lives these days, it doesn’t mean that all etiquette should go out the window. It’s very easy to let jet lag and frustration get the better of you, but if you’re doing any of these nine things, then you’re probably a travel asshole and should stop immediately.
Note: This listicle may contain angry ranting and passive aggressive comments from a traveller who gets very irritable when flying.
We’ve all seen those TV shows in which airport staff are screamed at by angry tourists with a 4-hour delay. But more often than not it’s not their fault. Imagine yourself in their shoes before taking your jet lag-fuelled frustration out on them.
2. Rummaging for your passport when you get to the check-in counter
You’ve been queuing for the last 20 minutes to check in, that’s plenty of time to get out your passport and any other documentation that you know you’ll need when you get to the check-in counter.
You know they need to see your passport, so have it out and ready to speed things up.
3. Leaving liquids in your carry-on
Even if you’ve never flown before, surely you must know that you can’t take liquids in your carry-on luggage.
There are signs saying this pretty much everywhere.
So if you have to take liquids on board, put them in a plastic baggy BEFORE you get to the airport. And please please please, don’t be that jerk who gets all the way to the security check before taking them out of your bag.
What do you think the rest of us have been doing while we queued?!
4. Same with laptops
Now I don’t know why the X-Ray machine needs your laptop to be out of your bag, but it does. So use your time while waiting to take it out (along with your liquids), so you can put it straight in that plastic tub and head straight through.
5. Rushing to board at the gate
Most boarding procedures call up passengers to board based on their zones, so know which one is yours and wait your turn. Those with children and those needing assistance will always board first, but don’t panic; they’re not taking your seat, it’ll still be there for you when you board in a minute. You’re going to be sitting in it for the next few hours, what’s your rush?
6. Blocking the aisles while boarding
You might need to go through your bag to take out your book, snacks, and iPad, but please don’t do it while standing in the aisle.
There are a lot of people trying to get to their seat, and they shouldn’t have to wait for you to find and untangle your headphones before getting past.
7. Using the bathroom while people are boarding
You know what’s more annoying than someone standing in the aisle while 200 people try to board a plane? Someone walking in the opposite direction of 200 people trying to board a flight. Either use the loo before you get on board or hold it until you’re up in the air.
8. Putting your seat back while someone behind you is eating
That’s just a dick move. You’re probably eating too, so sit up straight and let them eat their “delicious” aeroplane meal in peace.
9. Getting up before the seat belt sign has been turned off
They say this every time, and without fail a load of jerks will jump out of their seats the second the plane touches the ground to clamber for their bags. Wait until it’s safe and then chill out and get your bag.
We’re not going anywhere yet as they haven’t parked the plane, so there’s no need to elbow Grandma out of the way to get your bags before she does.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, not every gay festival needs to be a pride festival. While it made my gay heart swell three sizes that day, there’s more to gay festivals than rainbows, parades and boys in short shorts… I mean not much more.
This year, Austria’s Pink Lake Festival celebrated its 10th anniversary, decking out the small town of ‘Velden am Wörthersee’ with pink flags and offering up fun in the sun and general gay merriment.
For those of you who haven’t been, the Pink Lake Festival stretches out over 3 days, with themed parties on each night and the day left open to wander the riviera-style town of Velden, or simply sprawl out in the sunshine.
Olly, one of the many gorgeous gays that I met who had flown over from the UK, was more than happy to gush about why this was his third trip to the festival.
“For me there’s an infectious sense of fun about the whole festival. There’s more than a dash of holiday camp about it – with the games at the beach club and the splashing about in the Wörthersee on inflatable flamingos and unicorns. The chance to meet lots of gays from elsewhere in Europe is also really exciting – I’ve met Austrians, Hungarians, Germans, Czechs.
It’s enjoyable being in a minority as a Brit, and being able to find out about gay life across the continent, not just in the established metropoles. Austria is generally beautiful, and Carinthia has some of the best weather. Any event that can bring stunning scenery, reliably pleasant weather and lots of interesting and attractive gay men is bound to be a winner in my book.”
Day 1: Lederhosen night
No gay trip to a German-speaking country would be complete without dressing up in Lederhosen… no straight trip either I imagine. The Lederhosen party kicks off the first night of festivities, located in a sectioned off area of the town square, the little city is awash with gay tourists from the world over, strutting around in the least kinky of get ups you could imagine. And it’s fabulous!
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Day 2: Pink & Blue Ball
(As a single gay attending this trip solo and being surrounded by gorgeous Euro-gays, the irony of this night was not lost on me.)
Where the first night was a more casual mingling of gays at sunset, the Pink & Blue Ball got back to our stereotypical roots; piling hundreds of gays into an out-of-use hipster grunge club in an old factory layout. It was exactly how you would picture it, yet still somehow surprisingly civil. With multiple rooms and levels, it’s kind of impossible to find anyone once you lose them, but all the basic staples of a great gay night out were there. Extended dance mixes of your favourite forgotten songs, a dedicated pop room that I did not spend enough time in, and a couple of appearances by Mr. Gay Austria himself.
A complimentary coach will pick you up from town and take you to this weird and wonderful location on the other side of the lake. However, don’t feel that you need to get the first coach there, as I did. I was basically standing around trying to look interested/interesting for 2 hours before the quality crowd rolled in at around 11pm. The coach will also take you back to town. Oooooorrrr, you could catch a disco taxi! What’s a disco taxi I hear you say?
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Day 3: The Boat Party!
You can’t have a gay festival on a lake without the obligatory boat party to wrap up the festivities. At 9pm, the first of three loud, pink riverboats comes crawling into town. The ever-subtle presence of blazing pink lights and blaring Euro-Pop music is accompanied by, what I assume are hilarious, German comments from the local drag queen host.
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Water-sports
Not that kind of water-sports … I mean there may have been, but they weren’t on my itinerary.
While you recover from the night before, it’s important to remember that this is called the Pink Lake Festival for the very obvious reason that it is held by a lake. Add in the gorgeous 30 degree weather and bright blue skies, it would be worth the trip to just sit and soak up the sunshine while surrounded by gorgeous gays in tiny trunks. Seriously, you couldn’t make this setting up if you were writing Danielle Steele novels for homos.
