Condoms
colorful condom on white background seven day a week

Passport, check. Tickets, check. Travel insurance, check. Condoms? If you’re travelling you may not want to jinx your chances of overseas escapades by packing condoms, and while I would sternly disapprove of that, there is something to be said of sampling some of the local delights.

If you’re not bashful about buying condoms in countries where you can’t speak the language, you may be in for a real treat when it comes to wrapping your Johnny in something a little more… continental. Here are some of the weird wonderful condoms that you can only get in other countries.

1. TheyFit – custom fit condoms from Europe

weird condoms
TheyFit Custom-Fit Condoms

All men are created equal. In character perhaps, but not in girth. Many men complain about condoms that don’t fit properly, either cutting off their circulation or slipping off mid-thrust. But just like in the story of Goldicocks, these condoms are juuuuust right.

TheyFit currently make 66 different condom sizes – 10 different lengths, and 10 different nominal widths – in order to create the perfect fit, which feels better during sex. There’s even a downloadable Fit Kit on their website so that you can size yourself at home.

2. The world’s thinnest condoms from Japan

weird condoms

Image source: Photo by condom-sizes.org

Sagami Original create the world’s thinnest condoms

To say these condoms are razor thin is actually doing them a disservice, as they’re far thinner than that. Sagami Originals boast a thickness of just .01mm. Putting that in some context, the average human hair is about .06mm thick. This featherweight rubber had supposedly been tested over 200,000 times in the before hitting the market, so while it may be so thin that you can’t even see it very well, you can be sure that they will be doing their job.

3. The spray on condom from Germany

Those kooky Germans would of course be the ones to create a spray on condom. Don’t get too excited though, because this product didn’t actually make it to market. Originally introduced in 2008, the spray-on condom was a hard plastic tube (giggedy) that would spray liquid latex onto the penis when it was inserted into it… the tube that is. A more perfectly snug fit couldn’t be possible, sounds good right? However, with no room left for the reservoir tip, and 3 excruciatingly awkward minutes for the latex to dry, the spray-on condom was never meant to be.

4. Biodegradable condoms from France

For the environmentally conscious lovers out there, The Original Condom originated in, where else, Condom, in France. In addition to being biodegradable, the manufacturing company shares a portion of its profits with HIV awareness prevention research and NGOs. These luxury condoms will make you feel like you’re giving back to the community every time you bone

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5. The condom with a 4-second applicator from South Africa

Despite how porn makes it seem that condoms just magically appear on the end of a dick, it can often still be an awkward moment if you’re not 100% sure what you’re doing. So instead of getting kids to practice with bananas, South African innovators developed the 4Secs Condom Applicator. The applicator comes with a condom each and even has raised bumps to ensure you put it on easily in the dark. GENIUS!

6. Condoms where the wrapper is the applicator, also from South Africa

Determined to make condoms even easier to use, those little geniuses in South Africa created the Pronto Condom, which is unique in that the patented applicator is actually attached to the wrapper. You just crack the wrapper in half and begin to apply it to your penis, rolling it down as per usual.

The Pronto Condom was developed to prevent that common Condom Wrapper Limp Dick syndrome that affects a lot of men right before sex. To maintain the passion and sufficient turgidity, the Pronto Condom takes about 3 seconds to put on.

Just don’t get it confused with the flavour packet from your Super Noodles. That could cause problems.

7. The musical condom from the Ukraine

OK, this one may or may not exist, but just imagine if it did. In 2006, Hryhory Chausovsky was said to have invented a new type of condom that plays music during sex. There was a rumour posted on Oh Gizmo saying that “a miniature loudspeaker and motion sensor implanted in the condom’s upper cuff provides a range of musical tones during sex. Music volume depends on intensity of love-making and tone varies based on the sexual position.”

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This could all be rumours or the pipe-dreams of a mad man, but just think about humping to your own sexual theme music. What a world we live in.