THEGAYUK

Author: Antony Simpson

  • 5 Pagan origins of Christmas

    Christmas is a Christian festival, but a lot of its traditions originate from the older pagan festival of Yule. Yule or the Winter Solstice is on 21st December; it is the shortest day and longest night in year. From this point on days will begin to get longer. Pagans come together celebrate the return of the sun or re-birth of the sun God.

    Let’s have a look at 5 Christmas traditions and discover their pagan origins:

    1. The Christmas tree
    The evergreen Christmas tree started with the pagans. They saw evergreen as symbolic of the eternal cycles of nature: birth, life, death and re-birth. The re-birth always being seen as a result of the sun’s return.

    I remember decorating the Christmas tree when I was little. My mum would let me and my brothers decorate one side of the tree and then put that side against the wall. Or she’d let us decorate it and then strategically move all of the decorations to where she wanted them to be, before visitors began to arrive. As we got older, she simply refused to let us decorate the tree at all. Did anybody else’s mum do that, or was it just mine?

    The decorations, like the round baubles in colours of red and yellow and the lights (before electricity candles were used) are all seen by pagans as representations of the sun God.

    2. The Presents
    Pagans gave presents long before Christian’s came along, but on New Years Day rather than at Yule. The presents were often small and symbolic of a blessing for the year ahead.

    Christian’s didn’t start giving presents until relatively recently. In Britain due to poverty and culture, Christmas presents didn’t commonplace until around the Victorian Era. There are records of wealthy people giving presents before then, but it was only some people and these were the upper classes of society.

    3. Father Christmas
    Father Christmas or Santa goes back to the Christian Saint Nicholas. Saint Nicholas had a reputation for secret gift giving to children and for valuing children greatly.

    But what show his pagan roots are the colours of his archetypal dress. When I think of Father Christmas, I think of Miracle of 34th Street. I imagine the scene in which Kris is putting on his suit for the first time. His red suit with white trim, black belt with golden buckle, his black boots and of course his red hat. These colours: red, white and gold are all associated with the pagan sun god, who is believed to be re-born on Yule.

    4. Kissing Under The Mistletoe
    This time of year, mistletoe always seems to find it’s way to the office Christmas party. Hung in some precarious doorway, it can lead to an awkward moment of avoiding eye contact and pretending you’ve not seen it or to a drunken Christmas snog with the hottie from the IT Department.

    Mistletoe’s pagan origins are as a symbol of fertility. Yule was a festival of fertility, by the very nature of it being the festival were the life-giving sun God is re-born. Often pagan’s would give mistletoe to those wanting to conceive.

    5. The Humble Robin
    Every year I receive at least one Christmas card with the humble robin on. His pagan associations come from his striking reddy orange chest, a symbol of the sun and also in his ability to fly. His ability to fly means that he can leave and then return, very much like the sun God.

    There you have it, 5 Christmas Christian traditions that originated from paganism. It’s not just Christmas that has pagan roots, Christian festivals throughout the year have pagan traditions and elements integrated into them.

    Have a great Christmas or Yule, whichever you choose to call it and whatever religious belief system (or not) is.

  • BOOK REVIEW | Faitheist by Chris Stedman

    Chris Stedman is an atheist with a humanistic ethical code. Stedman, through his interfaith work, encourages the religious and nonreligious to come together and share their stories to humanise and understand one another for the greater good. He is the Assistant Humanist Chaplain at Harvard University and writes on his blog NonProphet Status, for the Huffington Post as well as on various other media platforms.

    In Faitheist, Chirs Stedman shares the story of his life (so far). The full title of the book is longwinded (Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious) and the introduction is off-putting. The introduction is full of terminology that is unfamiliar, unless you’re an Atheist Activist or an Interfaith Worker/Volunteer. This terminology and the elongated words are both unnecessary.

    But get past the introduction and Stedman’s story is fascinating. Told in his warm and engaging writers voice his story is educational, enlightening, completely honest and emotionally resonant.

    Stedman starts with his childhood; describing it as ‘not particularly religious.’ He discusses his search for a place to belong and a community to be a part of. Towards the end of his childhood he joins a church and becomes a Christian.

    Stedman moves into his adolescence and tells us of his developing homosexuality. He describes a difficult time in his life, one where his sexuality and his extreme Christian beliefs are at odds. He discusses his self-hate, guilt and his loss of faith in God. He reveals how his mum discovered that he was gay and how she supported him. Lost, Stedman sets out on journey to find himself.

    Stedman tells of his early adulthood; describing his journey to find himself and what he wants to do with his life. He tells that through Voluntary & Community Work he served others (a recurring theme throughout his entire life), he realised that the religious and nonreligious need to work together (interfaith working). He explains that he realised this has to start with understanding one another’s perspective.

    Stedman writes about his set and strong convictions towards the end of this book, clearly promoting humanism. However he has a history of changing some of his views, based on his life experiences. So this left the question as to whether some of his views may change over time. Not his core values, those have always remained a constant, but some of his views on complex ‘grey’ areas in life.

    As Stedman shares his story he describes his patchwork of tattoos and their meaning to him and his life. Stedman demonstrates his wonderful ability to reflect on his own experiences and learn from them. He reveals his unique passion, vibrant personality and how so alive he is. A gorgeous man with a beautiful, caring soul.

    Stedman concludes his book, not surprisingly, advocating the bringing together of the religious and the nonreligious (atheists). He suggests that they should share their life stories with one another. This he states will lead to a better understanding of one another, so that they can work better together. He encourages the reader to open a dialogue with people from all walks of life, to listen to their stories and share yours.

    Stedman could have included some glossy photo pages to match his autobiographical style of story sharing, which would have been great for visual learners. Faitheist by Chris Stedman is a thought-provoking read and will appeal to anyone who is interested in the study of religious or atheism, the effect of religion on homosexuality, humanism, philosophy, ideology, interfaith work and/or bringing communities together.

    Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious by Chris Stedman is available to buy on Amazon.

  • BOOK REVIEW | The Magician’s Assistant, by Ann Patchett

    Pleasure & Pain are this month’s theme here at THEGAYUK and The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett has got plenty of both. It is one of my favourite all-time books, one that I have read time and time again.

    The story is about Sabine who we meet when she looses her gay husband Parsifal unexpectedly. Sure she knew he had HIV, but expected it to be a few more years before his death.

    Parsifal was a great magician and Sabine his loyal assistant.

    Parsifal had been in love with Phan who just a short time ago had died from AIDS.

    Parsifal knowing that he was HIV positive and that he had no family decided to marry his life long friend Sabine. This was so that she would be entitled to his inheritance and because on a deep level he truly loved her.

    After Parsifal’s death the lawyer explains to Sabine that Parsifal has family in Alliance, Nebraska. Sabine is grieving and shocked at this revelation. Why didn´t she know about them? Why did he never talk about them and deny all knowledge of having a family?

    We join Sabine on an emotional journey as she meets this family and discovers more about Parsifal´s childhood. During the days Sabine learns more about Parsifal, and in the nights she dreams meeting first Phan and eventually Parsifal.

    Along the way Sabine learns more about herself and realises that Parsifal has given her a most precious gift, more precious than money and security she thought he´d left her.

    This book becomes an absolute page-turner as we connect with Sabine and need to know what will happen next.

    The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett is available to purchase on Amazon and is essential reading for anyone who’s ever loved and lost and then found love again.

  • 15 Ways To Spend A Pleasurable Evening

    With the dark nights closing in, the routine this time of year can feel a bit monotonous. So we’ve come up with 15 pleasurable ways to spend an evening.

    Depending on your own personal preferences some of these activities might be your idea of absolute pleasure or excruciating pain. Still, hopefully, this list will inspire you to do something different and fun that will break up the routine.

    15. Spending Time with your Family
    Whether it’s seeing my mum, catching up with my brothers, sister, or my nephews it’s always great to spend time with the family. With life being so busy an unexpected catch up is always welcome. So why don’t you text or call your family and see what they’re up to tonight?

    14. Getting on the Consoles
    Dust off and switch on your Xbox, PS3 or even the Wii and rediscover an old game. Spend the night shooting zombies, being a manager of your own football team and playing online with people from across the world. You never know, you might even make a few new online friends.

    13. Ordering A Takeaway
    Treat yourself to some delicious food from your local take away. Best of all – don’t stress about the calorie intake, just enjoy.

    12. Cinemas or A Night in Watching Films
    Venture out of the house to the Cinemas for the latest flick. Alternatively pop in your favourite DVD’s at home for a cosy night in.

    11. Hitting The Gym
    We all know the gym is good for you, but many of us don’t go often enough. Burning off that excess energy at the gym has two main benefits. First, exercise releases endorphins that make you feel amazing. Second, you’re guaranteed to sleep well.

    If you make it a regular thing, you only add to the benefits. Think: loosing weight, tighter body, more muscle mass and more stamina.

    Plus there’s an opportunity to see that fitty that frequents the gym. You never know, you may even get talking to him and he may end up becoming your workout buddy.

    10. Reading A Good Book
    Reading a good book is like being transported into a whole different world; your imagination is ignited and you become totally absorbed.

    9. A Romantic Meal Out, or A Meal Out with Friends
    If you’re in a relationship, take the time out to have a romantic meal for two out at your favourite restaurant. If you’re single, drag one or three of your friends along to try a new restaurant.

    8. Ten-pin Bowling, Laser Quest or Both
    Find your local bowling, laser quest or both and book a night out of competitive gaming for you and your mates. Choose your team carefully, though – as the losing team is buying the drinks!

    7. Taking A Dance Class
    My friend and I took up Salsa Dancing a few winters ago and we were useless at it. I honestly haven’t laughed that much in ages; we both came out with bellyache from laughing so much at each other.

    So take a dance class, even if you’ve got two left feet like me. You can also find some same-sex dance classes that cater for gay people.

    6. Meditation
    Meditation may not be the first thing that springs to mind when you think of a pleasurable evening but bare with me here. Imagine low lighting, a scented candle (or three) and a guided meditation CD that makes you feel completely relaxed and slightly giddy from the visualisation.

    I think relaxation can be pleasurable in itself, especially with the amount of stress we all have in our lives. I’ve spent many evenings doing mediation because I finish feeling absolutely blissful and if that feeling of bliss isn’t pleasurable, then I don’t know what is.

    5. Having Sex
    Spend an evening having sex! But rather than the usual quickie, make a night of it and take it slow.

    Light some candles, sprinkle some rose petals and get the baby oil out. Give your partner a naked massage using the oil and resist the urge to step things up a gear.

    Take the time to get to know every part of his body and let the tension slowly build, until climax.

    4. A Few Social Drinks
    Find out all the latest gossip by having a good chinwag with friends over a few social drinks. Just make sure that you know your limit if it’s a work night.

    3. Visit the Roller Ring or go Ice-Skating
    Visiting your local roller ring or ice skating may bring back memories of falling on the floor or on to solid ice, but you’ll enjoy it once your there. They usually have flashing disco lights and great music for you to skate to!

    2. The Theatre
    Book tickets and go and see a production at a theatre. It gives you something to look forward to and there are some absolutely fantastic shows on.

    1. Being Creative
    There’s nothing better than creating something. Whether you’re into making music, creating collages, painting, writing, do whatever takes your fancy. Even if you don’t think you’re that good at it, just do it for the love of it.

  • INTERVIEW | Coming Out to the kids – Paul’s Story

    Here at THEGAYUK this month it’s all about Coming Out. We’ve spoken to two parents about their experiences of Coming Out to their children. Both of these parents were concerned about the impact of telling their story on themselves and their family and asked for their identities to be protected. So throughout this article pseudo names are used for both the parents and the children.

    The second is Paul, a 51 years old father from London, England. Paul has two now-adult children his son David, 25 years old and his daughter Janet, 23 years old.

    Tell us, how did you Come Out to your children?

    It’s very complex. My ex-wife, the mother of David and Janet, and I had been unhappy for about 5 years. I had met somebody who at the time was just a friend, but he wasn’t the reason my ex-wife and I separated. It was actually she who said: ‘Look I think it’s time we separated.’

    I didn’t protest too much, as I knew we had both been unhappy, and I had the support of someone else – who happened to be male. I moved out of the family home and went and stayed with him. I rented a home on my own, and we saw more of each other, then a year later we bought a house together. We wanted somewhere big enough for the children to come and stay. It was very important for me that I could see David and Janet.

    The children were gradually introduced to him as a friend. It always crossed my mind – do I tell David and Janet that he was my partner or do we just go on? David and Janet just accepted him and they liked him, they felt included and it felt like a family unit. They were happy because they felt loved and that’s what children want.

    Over time, our circumstances changed, we had a series of stressful events happen to both of us. We lost the house and ended up renting a small house. We just grew apart and eventually split up. I got a lodger in to help pay the rent. This lodger also happened to be gay. He had a boyfriend and all was good.

    Then about a year later, I met this chap who was twenty-seven. I had dated one or two other men before, around my own age, but the lodger didn’t like this chap and tensions resulted in my asking the lodger to leave. I gave him his month’s notice. David at this time was travelling abroad and Janet was at university.

    The lodger left without paying me his final month’s rent, which came as no particular surprise. But then I noticed he’d stolen something – a DVD player. I texted him asking him to return the item but got no reply

    The Police came, took my statement and made contact with the lodger, and it was then that the lodger texted Janet, my daughter, along the lines of:

    “you’ll want to know your dad’s the stereotypical gay, get c*ck at any cost and has had a string of over 60 boyfriends. I would think twice about sleeping under your dad’s roof because he’s a psychopath who’s likely to stab you.”

    The lodger contacted all my friends on Facebook and told them the same things. I had to get a harassment order, but by that time the damage had been done.

    I didn’t know any of this until I got a call from my ex-partner who said: ‘You’ve got a real problem. Janet knows everything.’ The ex-partner explained what had gone on.

    I didn’t have any contact with any of them: David, Janet or my ex-wife for three weeks, it was horrendous. I didn’t know what was going on in their heads. It was awful.

    My ex-wife eventually invited me round to dinner to break the ice; things are much better now.
    What were you worried about before you Came Out?

    The opportunity for me to tell them in my time was taken away from me in really brutal circumstances – and I still feel very bitter when I think about it. I have always been worried that my children may judge me, and that it would somehow make me less of a parent. I had always had a brilliant relationship with both my children, and didn’t want that destroyed.

    How old were your children when you Came Out to them?

    David and Janet were 24 and 22 when my ex-lodger decided to tell them about me. I still haven’t been able to discuss any of this with them.

     

    Has it made you closer to your children?

    I’ve always been a very hands-on dad. When they were younger I was probably the principle parent. I was the one who always went to parents evenings, took them camping, we used to do a huge amount together. We have always been close.

     

    Have any of your children told their friends or partner about your sexuality?

    When Janet told her friends, they were really sweet. A lot of them said: ‘Oh I always knew your dad was gay. Don’t worry about it.’

    David, my son, has gay friends. He’s very non-judgemental.

    I’m very proud of both of them.
    Have they spoke to you about how they felt when you Came Out to them?

    When it all happened Janet was very bitter and angry. She felt I’d lied. She felt that she’d been stuck with this problem while David was travelling.

    Janet has said since that they knew that I was gay, and that my ex-partner and I had been a couple as well. It was the shock in the way that they were told.

    David’s response was very touching and moving. He was still away travelling when it all happened and his response was: ‘Just make sure that dad is happy.’

    David has met my new partner, introduced as a friend. But I have no doubt that he will have put two and two together.

    They’re fine now but we’ve never talked about it properly. I think it will come to a point where I have to talk about it with them. I don’t know what they are thinking and that’s the difficult thing. But they talk a lot about my ex-partner. It’s almost as if they think that that’s acceptable but I’m not sure that anything else is yet.
    Did you access any sources of support before or after Coming Out to them?

    I had two sets of counselling: one from the GP and one from GMI Partnership. GMI Partnership offers sexual health and sexuality counselling and is run by volunteers. I had an amazing woman counsellor there who helped me enormously.

    I still find it difficult at times. I don’t call myself a ‘gay dad.’ I’m just a dad.
    What advice would you give to other parents thinking about Coming Out to their children?

    That’s a really difficult one because everybody’s experience is bound to be different. I still haven’t found my own particular answers.

  • INTERVIEW | Coming out the kids – Linda’s Story

    Here at THEGAYUK this month it’s all about Coming Out. We’ve spoken to two parents about their experiences of Coming Out to their children. Both of these parents were concerned about the impact of telling their story on themselves and their family and asked for their identities to be protected. So throughout this article pseudo names are used for both the parents and the children.

    The first is Linda, a 55 years old mother from Glasgow, Scotland. Linda has two now-adult children her daughter Julie, 37 years old and her son Darren, 34 years old.

    Tell us, how did you Come Out to your children?Mine had a whole load of baggage built in; my relationship with my adult children was affable but inevitably affected by their marred childhood. And it was, thanks to a violently bipolar father, and a mother who must have appeared to pay more attention to him than to them.

    Difficult to cite diversionary tactics, although this was often true; he was perfectly capable of inflicting cruelty on them to make me suffer; obvious confrontation gave him power. Not the whole story, of course; I admit that I was a dutiful and pragmatic parent, rather than the sort of warm, cuddly mother that my own mum was.So after my husband’s death and my subsequent ecstatic love affair with my beautiful partner, it became apparent that I would need to tell the kids.

    I dreaded it.

    I prepared. Rehearsed. Lost sleep. Imagined worst-case scenarios. But it had to be done; I’m gay, whatever their reaction, I told myself; and I can’t keep it secret forever. This was at a moment when diplomatic channels were open and the climate looking propitious for the announcement, but that almost made it worse, in that there was so much more to lose.

    Things will always be tricky. But these things have to be worked at, and at least hailing frequencies are open.
    What were you worried about before you Came Out?

    I feared yet another barrier to add to the issues they already had with their father and me as parents.
    How old were your children when you Came Out to them?

    Julie was 29 and Darren was 27.

    Has it made you closer to your children?

    No, we’re not closer. I’m on good terms with both, but there are always underlying reservations.

    Neither of them is homophobic, but bear in mind that even liberal children can be shocked to think that their parents actually have sex – eeeeeew! – let alone a form of sex with which they may not be too familiar!
     

    Have any of your children told their friends or partner about your sexuality?

    I told Julie my daughter’s partner. He was totally cool with it. Darren my son presumably told his wife.

    Both children’s partners have always been supportive and affectionate. I have no idea whether my children have told their friends; possibly not, since my being a lesbian has never been considered a suitable topic for conversation with them.
    They wouldn’t hide it if asked, but as I don’t present as particularly butch and visit rarely, I’d be surprised if anyone would be that interested.
    Have they spoke to you about how they felt when you Came Out to them?

    As I gather from other people, individual children will take it differently, and so it proved. The elder, Julie claimed that it had been a matter of conjecture for some time, and that the news was neither a bombshell nor any big deal.

    The younger Darren operates on two levels: a saying level and a thinking level. Once I made it clear that my partner was not a 70s-style, aggressive, possessive, stuff-it-down-your-throat stereotype, the saying level was cautiously satisfied. Unfortunately, despite an outwardly liberal stance, I believe that his thinking level may have sustained another degree of separation.

    Did you access any sources of support before or after Coming Out to them?

    No. I cope with my own sh*t, apart from sharing (some of) it with my partner. I internalise. I also write, which is an excellent form of therapy!

    What advice would you give to other parents thinking about Coming Out to their children?(a) Do it.

    (b) If geographically possible, do it by stealth.

    Condition the kids to being used to seeing you with your friend, introduce the partner to family occasions, Christmas dinner etc., till the assumption of partnership is subliminally planted. Then mention something in passing that will leave them in no doubt, and move on, as if it were a given.The big, dramatic announcement is something I would avoid, if I had to do it again!
    Of course, if you’ve discovered your sexuality but don’t have a partner, telling the kids that you’re just off down to the leather bar or lesbian singles night could be a mistake…

  • COLUMN | Coming Out of the Broom Closest

    I’ve come out of two closets in my life. First through the rainbow-coloured door – coming out as gay. Then out of the broom closet – coming out as pagan.

    Every time I’ve come out as pagan, I get asked the same sort of questions. Here are some of those questions and my responses:

    What is it all about?
    Paganism is a nature-based religion, so as a pagan I have a reverence for nature. Paganism has a dual aspect of divinity – meaning we have both a god and goddess.

    This god and goddess duality symbolises balance that can be seen in all aspects of the world and universe. We cannot have life without death, happy times without sad times, etc.

    Unlike most other religions we don’t have a bible or other book that tells us what to believe. What pagans believe is much more individual to them. But the two big focuses in paganism are nature and individual responsibility for our own actions and omissions.

    Paganism has values that encourage equality, respect for all living beings and empathy for others, so generally pagans are very accepting of gay people. Acts of love, pleasure and beauty are important to pagans regardless of the sexuality or gender of those involved.

    Do you worship the devil?
    No…we actually don’t believe in a devil.

    Do you have a Church?
    Nature is our church. Some of us like to worship, celebrate and practice on our own; whereas others like to get together with other pagans.

    Covens are closed groups of pagans usually consisting of a maximum of thirteen people. They have a High Priestess and a High Priest as leaders of their group, kind of like priests/vicars. Coven members will teach one another what they know, including the initiates (those new to paganism). Rituals, rites, magic, music and dance will all be taught within the closed coven circle.

    Pagan moots are much more open. They are open to anyone and usually held at local cafes or pubs. Some moot organisers will arrange for talks on a range of pagan topics such as: herbs, crystals, healing, ghosts/other spirits, etc. Organisers usually ask for a donation or minimal charge to attend these fascinating talks.

    Is magic like that on Charmed? Or like Willow on Buffy The Vampire Slayer does?
    No…sorry. But it can be equally effective – it just works in a different way.

    Imagine I cast a Spell for money. Money won’t magically appear. But I might see a job that I can apply for that’s better paid than the one I’m doing.

    Just because I’ve cast the Spell, doesn’t mean the job is automatically mine! I still have to apply for the job, go to the interview and WOW the interviewers. I have to work hard to achieve my goals – like everyone else.

    What’s the difference between a Pagan, a Wiccan and a Druid?
    Paganism is a broad term to describe lots of different paths that have the same principle beliefs. Wicca, Druidism and others paths may have slightly different practices but share the same principle beliefs and are therefore are all encompassed under the term paganism.

    Think of it in terms of Christianity. Christianity is the over-arching term, but within that you have the Church of England, the Roman Catholic Church and many others all with the same principle beliefs but with slightly different practices.

    So you don’t celebrate Christmas?
    We have our own holidays, many of which coincide with Christian holidays. But our big celebration is Samhain or Halloween, which to pagans is like Christmas and New Year rolled into one.

    We are all individuals. Personally I celebrate Christmas with my family, because they do and because it’s a positive time for all. It’s the one time of year my family takes the time out to spend precious time together, to eat, drink and be merry – oh and of course there’s the presents!

    Where can I learn more?
    The best gay pagan book I’ve come across is Gay Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak. Christopher Penczak is a pagan gay man who wrote this for gay men. It even has a section on gay deities.

    Other non-gay books I’ve learned a lot about paganism from are: The Real Witches’ Handbook by Kate West, Elements of Witchcraft by Ellen Dugan,Witchcraft: Theory and Practice by Le De Angeles and Everyday Magic by Dorothy Morrison. There’s also a myriad of information on the internet –just do a Google search.

  • BOOK REVIEW | God Believes in Love – Straight Talk about Gay Marriage by Gene Robinson

    Firstly it’s presented really well – hardback with parchment-like paper and a easy to read font. On the back cover there’s a quote, which instantly sparked my interest from President Barack Obama that says:
    ‘My friend Bishop Gene Robinson has long been a voice for equality – not with anger or vitriol, but with compassion and faith. He has been guided by the simple precept that we should do unto others as we would have them do unto us.’

    Gene writes in a conversational style throughout the book making it feel like you’re sat somewhere warm and cosy listening to him speak, a writing style that I found captivating. He starts with an introduction sharing his story of being in love with and marrying his best friend (a woman); having two daughters but later realising that his attraction to the same gender could not be suppressed or changed.

    Gene writes that he and his wife divorced and that he later met and fell in love with Mark his husband. In this introduction he explains what marriage means to him, that he and Mark had a ‘Civil Union,’ before getting married (after it was made legal for them to do so) and the he later became IX Bishop of New Hampshire. It is a heart warming that he chose to share his life experience and I have a huge respect for him doing this as it would make most people feel exposed & vulnerable.

    Gene answers ten questions commonly posed by Christians:

    1. Why Gay Marriage Now?

    2. Why Should You Care About Gay Marriage If You’re Straight?

    3. What’s Wrong with Civil Unions?

    4. Doesn’t the Bible Condemn Homosexuality?

    5. What Would Jesus Do?

    6. Doesn’t Gay Marriage Change the Definition of Marriage That’s Been in Place for Thousands of Years?

    7. Doesn’t Gay Marriage Undermine Marriage?

    8. What If My Religion Doesn’t Believe in Gay Marriage?

    9. Don’t Children Need a Mother and a Father?

    10. Is This About Civil Rights or Getting Approval for Questionable Behaviour?

     

    Gene’s answers are intelligent, insightful and obviously well thought out. His knowledge of gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans history and civil rights activism was fascinating. I thought I was well educated on gay history, but he conveyed some history of which I was unaware.

    Gene recognises that straight people need to advocate for gay people and encourages them throughout the book to ‘get to know us,’ listen to gay people’s stories and believe them as their truth. He asks them to try and imagine walking in a gay persons shoes.

    Gene examines the meaning and context of scriptures used to condemn homosexuality which would help any gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans Christians accept their sexuality within their faith.

    Gene discusses the concept of marriage and it’s evolution over centuries; this chapter of the book was absolutely engrossing. I’ve never really looked into marriage as a concept or how it’s developed over time.

    Gene shares his vision for the future; where the State recognises marriage regardless of the sexuality of the people involved legislatively (giving them the same benefits, rights and protections) and that Church’s role (regardless of religion) is to invite God to bless and be a part of the marriages. Gene states that religious institutions need to look at their own stance on homosexuality and the issue of gay marriage.

    Gene concludes with a chapter on God Believes in Love stating that to selflessly love another is how God feels about us his children. He encourages all to love your neighbour, as you would want to be loved.

    Now you’ll notice throughout this review I’ve referred to the author by his first name, Gene. That’s because by the end of the book I feel as though I’ve made a friend; one who’s educational, non-preachy and represents the best of human spirituality.

    God Believes in Love: Straight Talk about Gay Marriage by Gene Robinson is available to buy on Amazon.

  • INTERVIEW: The (Drag) Queen Of Benidorm

    INTERVIEW: The (Drag) Queen Of Benidorm

    Wayne Wright is Benidorm’s longest serving British Drag Queen, better known as Miss Levi. I got the opportunity for a chinwag with Wayne about how Miss Levi was born, what she’s like, what she’s up to and her future. (more…)

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Up4AMeet?

    Up4aMeet? – An Evening of Naked, Gay, Laugh-Out-Loud Comedy

    The Up4aMeet? Cast: Chris Wills, Penny Tasker, Lloyd Daniels, Nikki Grahame, Michael Blore & Benedict Garrett)

    It’s #NakedAugust month here at The Gay UK, so I decided to go along and see Up4aMeet? the hilarious naked gay play.

    Grant (played by the brilliant and sexy Chris Wills) finds it difficult to talk to gay men in reality. But on his favourite app ‘The Cock Shop’ he can be himself and even find out how many metres away his nearest gay man is. ‘The Cock Shop’ is described as a gay man’s sweet shop; with a few clicks a man can be delivered to your door.

    Carlos (played by the well-endowed Benedict Garrett) is Grant’s Spanish & naturist flatmate who also is a big fan of ‘The Cockshop.’ For Carlos life is all about the sex. Carlos has a strict aversion to clothes and stripped every time he walked onto the stage. He was practically naked throughout the entire show.

    Caroline (played by the fantastic Penny Tasker) is a broke Celebrity Agent who is Grant’s best friend and lives in the apartment downstairs. She represents a number of reality-TV celebrities including Stacey Granger (Big Brother’s Nikki Grahame) but is failing to find work for any of them.

    In the apartment next door is old queen Julian (played by the suitable Michael Blore). Julian is obsessed with Dame Shirley Bassey. His obsession extends to playing Gold Finger constantly, having a cardboard cut-out of her and a toilet seat that he’s made for her as a gift. Julian decides he’s getting a flatmate and ends up with Scott (X-Factor’s Lloyd Daniels).

    Up4aMeet? has nudity from the start with Grant being caught by Caroline taking a rude picture of himself for his ‘Cock Shop’ profile. Grant and Carlos accidentally switch phones and the hilarity begins. The characters attempt to deal with their own problems throughout the more than two hour show, amusing the audience along the way.

    The comedy that causes the audience’s incessant and side-splitting laughter is derived through gay stereotyping. Yet despite this stereotyping, the characters are believable and had a reasonable amount of depth – which is a tremendous credit to the writer.

    All of the characters are a bit zany including Carlos who had a bit of a dodgy accent at times. But he made fun of it himself and managed to get a few chuckles from the audience. Caroline had some great, sharp one-liners and is a constant source of entertainment throughout. One particularly funny scene of Caroline’s that springs to mind involves an eye patch and a glory-hole.

    Scott (Lloyd Daniels) was mostly eye candy and played a far too small role in the play. We don’t see Scott on stage until mid-way through and he barely has any dialogue. Scott (Lloyd Daniels) is the only male member of the cast who doesn’t get fully naked – sorry boys.
    The cast’s acting was splendid and they all made good eye contact with the audience – despite the difficult layout of the venue.

    The ending was dramatic, full of twists and turns with plenty of humour and a reminder that: you never really know whom you’re talking to online.

  • BOOK REVIEW | Speed Demons by Gun Brooke

    Speed Demons by Gun Brooke is quite essentially a lesbian love story that was kindly sent to me by Publishers Group UK.

    Evie is a NASCAR Racing Driver that has had a crash and is planning a come back. Blythe is a Professional Photographer and was snapping the day of the crash. Blythe has heard about Evie’s comeback and wants to document her journey back to the racetrack in the form of a photography book.

    Blythe convinces Evie to agree to the photography book idea and a relationship starts to develop – far to quickly to be believable to the reader. Along with the waves of closeness between Evie & Blythe they both help one another to overcome the current challenges in their lives.

    For Evie the challenge is apparent: her recovery and return to the racetrack. In order for Evie to achieve her goal she must undertake her physical training and find a way of dealing with her post-traumatic stress disorder. Blythe’s challenge is to deal with her lost family connection and her feelings about it. Blythe feels that her family indirectly blame her for the attack on her brother many years ago.
    Evie & Blythe’s characters are well developed with good backstories. Brooke‘s use of character perspectives and of Evie & Blythe psychoanalysing one another makes the reader care about them.
    Brooke‘s description was sparse at times and the reader would have benefited from more detail. The are a few sex scenes; it was strange that Brooke used the word ‘sex’ to describe lady-parts in one part of the book and yet later on used the word ‘clit’ quite blatantly.

    The storyline was fair but somewhat predictable. Blythe’s family challenge felt like an after thought, being thrown in towards the end of the book. The ending felt rushed and not thought out. It had a few loose ends – such as Evie’s family approval and a resolution of Blythe’s family issues. The most unsatisfying part of the ending was Blythe’s seemingly sacrificing her life for Evie’s.

    Yet despite the criticisms it was a reasonable piece of lesbian literature. Speed Demons by Gun Brooke is available to buy on Amazon.