Brits would prefer to talk about their weight, mental health and family dramas than money.
(C) BIGSTOCK
A survey of 2,000 adults revealed what is and isn’t acceptable to talk about with their emotions, religion and infertility all considered more socially acceptable to discuss than finances and debt.
Just 18 per cent consider the delicate topics of miscarriage and infertility to be off-limits compared to one quarter who say the same about personal finances.
Similarly, one in five don’t think it’s suitable to disclose their salary in social settings and more than half believe the subject of money should be completely off limits at work.
Other unacceptable conversations include drugs, sex and parenting techniques, with Brits going as far as to say discussing these ‘taboo’ subjects leaves them feeling ‘anxious’ and ‘nervous’.
The research was commissioned by Lowell, which helps consumers and businesses manage credit better, and wants to highlight how talking helps.
Clinical and counselling psychologist Tamara Licht Musso said: “Not talking can seem the best short term strategy, but is a negative coping mechanism and at some point it cracks.
“Avoidance is also a classic way of coping to keep anxiety at bay, but we cannot avoid our thoughts, which is where all emotions emerge, therefore pushing back such thoughts may result in them appearing through symptoms such as difficulties with sleep.
“Taking the ‘easy’ route might seem to be the answer because the rational path – talking – puts us in a much more vulnerable position.
“In the short term this may be true, but it puts us in a healthier place in the long term.
“The fear of being judged is based on distorted thinking patterns such as jumping to conclusions and mind reading.
“For example, some people will think that by sharing their salary others may misjudge their ability.”
The research also found more than half fear being judged if they were to open up about personal issues, while another one in two avoid certain topics because they find it ‘embarrassing’.
“one third fearing it could lead to arguments”
Others keep quiet as they don’t want to share their personal lives, believe it’s rude to talk about certain things or worry about the consequences of opening up, with more than one third fearing it could lead to arguments.
One in five are afraid talking about things will break up their relationship and one in 10 even fear losing their job.
However, due to avoiding discussions about an issue, 31 per cent have experienced loss of sleep and one sixth have even suffered from mental health issues.
It also emerged that 62 per cent consider opening up to be a ‘big step’ and feel it’s sometimes ‘easier to keep it to yourself’.
And almost half of those polled via OnePoll wish society made it easier and more acceptable to talk about things.
Lowell’s Managing Director John Pears added: “Breaking down these taboos and having open, honest conversations helps understanding, and can pave the way to finding answers to problems.
“Talking to someone is the first step, but it can obviously be difficult and many are worried, aren’t sure who can help or don’t feel they can trust someone.
“We know that when it comes to money or debt, people can be particularly sensitive or embarrassed about it, and customers tell us that not talking has caused them to worry more and for things to get worse, which really doesn’t have to be the case – there is help out there.”
Top 20 most socially unacceptable things to talk about according to Brits:
1. Sex life
2. Bodily functions
3. Personal finances
4. Salary
5. Debt
6. Miscarriage
7. Infertility
8. Addictions
9. Religion
10. Asking someone’s age
11. Race
12. Weight
13. Other people’s lives
14. Mental health
15. Drugs
16. Family dramas
17. Sexism
18. Parenting techniques
19. Politics
20. Emotional feelings
The Go Wig Tour has been cancelled just a day after promoters requested that RuPaul’s name be removed from any advertising.
According to the ticket seller, Ticketmaster, the UK stretch of the Go Wig Tour has been cancelled and asked vendors and outlets who were promoting the UK segment of the tour to remove any promotions of the tour.
Yesterday, in an email seen by THEGAYUK, vendors and outlets were asked to remove any mention of RuPaul and only to use artwork directly associated with the Go Wig Tour. In the update it was announced that Yvie Oddly would also not be appearing.
One of the venues which was due to host the tour the O2 Ritz in Manchester released a statement and said that anyone who had bought tickets for the event would be able to get a refund.
Pride in London joins 17-24-30 NationalHCAW to mark 20 years since Admiral Duncan bombing
On 30th April 1999 a nail bomb attack at the Admiral Duncan pub in Soho killed three people and wounded 79
Soho attack followed two other nail bombings in Brixton on 17th April and Brick Lane on 24th April as part of a homophobic, racist terror campaign
Soho Act of Remembrance marking the 20th anniversary of the attacks will take place at 5pm on Tuesday 30th April outside the Admiral Duncan
Pride in London is joining anti-hate charity 17-24-30 NationalHCAW (National Hate Crime Awareness Week) this Tuesday (30th April) to mark the 20th anniversary of the London nail bombings and remember those killed during the attacks: Nik Moore, Andrea Dykes and John Light.
An Act of Remembrance marking 20 years since the attacks is planned for Tuesday evening, starting outside the Admiral Duncan and then moving round to St Anne’s Gardens on Wardour Street. The latter part will feature speeches from: Rev Simon Buckley, St Anne’s Church; Mark Healey, Founder 17-24-30 NationalHCAW and Cllr Ian Adams, Westminster Council – as well as three poems read by Trudy Howson, LGBT Poet Laureate; Terry Morely, Nik Moore’s aunt and Natalie Patterson, Andrea Dyke’s sister, and performances by the London Gay Men’s Chorus, the Pink Singers and Diversity Choir.
The bombing in Soho followed two connected attacks in other parts of the capital: Brixton on 17th April and Brick Lane on 24th April. Though there were no fatalities, 61 people were injured by the blasts. These attacks were racially-motivated and targeted the black community in south London and the Bangladeshi Muslim community in the East End. Smaller acts of remembrance took place in both locations on the respective dates as part of 17-24-30 NationalHCAW’s April Acts of Remembrance.
Mark Healey, Founder of 17-24-30 NationalHCAW, said, “It’s hugely important that our communities come together to mark the anniversaries of these horrendous events. We have a duty to remember those we lost, to show our ongoing support to those affected by these attacks, and most importantly to educate the next generation to make sure these kinds of attacks never happen again.
“We’re good at dealing with the immediate aftermath of these kinds of attacks but more needs to be done to deal with their longer-term impact on our communities. Some of the survivors and the families affected by these attacks are still suffering and need more support. I hope our April Acts of Remembrance inspire people to get involved, to build stronger links between all our communities and ensure there is no place for hate amongst us.”
The Soho Act of Remembrance will take place at 5pm on Tuesday 30th April outside the Admiral Duncan on Old Compton Street, Soho. So the organisers can gauge how many people will attend, please register here if you plan to join the act of remembrance.
Ann Widdecombe, one of the UK’s most anti-equality politicians, has joined the Brexit Party.
One of the UK’s most conservative politicians, Ann Widdecombe has joined the brand new Brexit Party, which is headed up by former UKIP leader Nigel Farage. The party was formed ahead of the forthcoming European elections, in which the UK will vote in.
During her time in office as the MP for Maidstone and The Weald, Ann Widdecombe voted against every piece of pro-LGBT+ or equalising legislation for the gay community in the UK.
In 2003 she voted to maintain Section 28 in schools and in 1998 she voted against the law to equalise the age of consent. Between 1998 and 2009 she was involved in 17 votes pertaining to LGBT+ rights – 13 of which she voted against and the other four she was absent from, according to theyworkforyou.com
Ann Widdecombe’s career as an MP was ended in 2010.
She also voted against the Equality Bill which promotes equality and various human rights.
Nigel Farage described Widdecombe’s entry into the Brexit Party, as “great news”. He took to social media to say, “I welcome Ann Widdecombe as our lead candidate in the South West, the Brexit Party is a stronger alliance as a result. This is great news”.
I welcome Ann Widdecombe as our lead candidate in the South West, the Brexit Party is a stronger alliance as a result. This is great news.
Bobby Norris created a petition imploring politicians to make online homophobia a criminal offence, and it’s reached a whopping milestone.
From Lime Productions
TOWIE star Bobby Norris is celebrating after a petition he created, asking the UK’s government to make online homophobia a specific offence reached over 100,000 signatures.
Taking to social media, Bobby wrote, “WOW!! Thank you so much to everyone who has signed and shared my petition. I can’t wait to get into Parliament now and get this debated”.
As it stands the petition currently has over 114,000 signatures.
In his original petition, Bobby wrote, that he was “devastated” by homophobic abused levelled at the LGBT+ community and wanted it to be debated in parliament.
The Home Office responded at 10,000 signatures, saying “The Government recognises the harm that homophobic online messages can cause. We are working cross-Government to challenge inequality and make the UK’s online environment a safer place for everyone.”
“The internet provides a wealth of opportunities for people globally. It is a platform for everyone to share experiences and creativity, and it encourages rich discussion. It has allowed people to create communities and interact in ways that were not previously possible. The Government recognises, however, that some people exploit these opportunities to spread harmful messages which would not be tolerated offline. Protecting people online is a top priority for Government.
“In some cases, these behaviours may already constitute criminal offences, and the law does not differentiate between criminal offences committed on social media or elsewhere. We have robust legislation to deal with internet trolls, cyber-stalking and harassment, and perpetrators of grossly offensive, obscene or menacing behaviour, which may be relevant to some cases of LGBT abuse.
“Hate crime legislation may already apply in online homophobic offences. Hate crimes include crimes demonstrating hostility on the grounds of an individual’s actual or perceived race, religion, sexual orientation, disability or transgender identity, as well as stirring up hatred on the grounds of race, religion or sexual orientation.
“The Government is taking significant steps to tackle hateful activity online:
• We are funding a National Online Hate Crime Hub which uses specially trained police officers and staff to investigate reports.
• We supported the European Commission Code of Conduct for Countering Illegal Hate Speech which has been signed by key companies including Facebook, YouTube, Microsoft, Twitter and Instagram. A key aim is to ensure that requests to remove content are reviewed in less than 24 hours, and content is removed if necessary.
• We commissioned the Law Commission review of offensive online communications. The Law Commission has just begun a specific review of hate crime legislation.
• More widely, a joint Department for Digital, Culture, Media & Sport (DCMS)-Home Office White Paper will be published this year, setting out a range of legislative and non-legislative measures detailing how we will tackle online harms and set clear responsibilities for tech companies to keep UK citizens safe.
The Government recognises that homophobic abuse can have potentially devastating impacts on victims and we are working to challenge inequality beyond a law enforcement approach alone. This broader approach also recognises that we need to ensure we strike the right balance between protecting citizens and protecting their rights to free expression. Everyone has the right to freedom of expression under Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights, however this is not an excuse to spread hatred. Article 10 is a qualified right, which means it is not absolute and it can be restricted for certain purposes.
This approach includes a variety of actions. In July 2018, the Government Equalities Office (GEO) launched the National LGBT Survey to understand LGBT people’s experiences of accessing services. Over 108,000 people completed the survey. In response to the findings, GEO also launched an LGBT Action Plan setting out 75 commitments to improve outcomes for LGBT people. The Action Plan includes a £4.5 million fund to address inequality and support the delivery of commitments cross-sector.
The LGBT Action Plan includes the following commitments to ensure LGBT people feel safe online beyond the actions listed above:
• The Home Office is supporting the police to improve how they respond to hate crime and raise awareness of local support agencies for LGBT victims. The 2018 refresh of the Hate Crime Action Plan is supporting police training that is tailored to the needs of victims, such as those of homophobic, biphobic and transphobic hate crimes.
• The National Crime Agency (NCA) will ensure LGBT people can access educational online safety interventions that are informed by their experiences. The NCA will develop effective and appropriate education interventions to ensure LGBT people can be full, equal and safe participants in online activity.
With the UK Tory government pressing ahead with its porn ban, we asked Alastair Graham, Chair of the Age Verification Providers Association and CEO of AgeChecked on what we should know before the ban comes into place in July.
New rules mean that you will have to prove you are over the age of 18 – and be on a database, in order to view porn from mid-July. Users will need to, from 15th July 2019, prove that they are over the age of 18 with official documents such as a driver’s license, passport or an age verification card. One of the systems in place is called the AgeID system another is called AVSecure. Alastair Graham, Chair of the Age Verification Providers Association and CEO of AgeChecked answers some questions on what you’ll need to do come mid-July.
How will the porn ban work?
Whenever a UK IP address attempts to access a website with age-restricted content, the user will have to verify they are over 18. They will not be able to view explicit content until they have proven their age.
The onus of implementing such checks will fall on individual pornographic websites. Given that the government has not created its own verification system for websites to use, website operators will need to choose from a number of different age-checking software services on the market.
There are variations between suppliers with regards to how each company will verify customers. AgeChecked, for example, works by allowing customers to confirm their age securely via an anonymous username and password. In order to get the username and password, users must first age verify themselves. They can choose from a range of methods, utilising a mobile app, credit card or driving licence.
Each time the user logs on to the website in question, they will not have to re-verify themselves in order to access it. Instead, they simply sign in as normal and they will be granted instant access. This way, compliant age checks can be carried out without disrupting the user’s journey.
Three key myths
“My data will be hacked or leaked”
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the incoming legislation has triggered privacy fears. Will porn companies be able to link people’s identities to their porn preferences? This is a very valid concern.
The only way sure-fire way to avoid highly sensitive data leaking is to make sure that such data is not created in the first place. In this respect, it’s vital that all age verification systems are third-party providers (and not in any way affiliated with the porn sites themselves.)
AgeChecked never stores personal information on its users and credentials are completely anonymised. When a user tries to access an age-restricted website or service, the website will only receive a simple ‘pass’ or ‘fail’ alert – nothing more.
“It’s just a censorship tool”
The whole point of the new age verification regulations is simply to prevent children from stumbling across pornographic content; these measures will not have any control over what content adults can and cannot view.
“People can bypass the system”
Online age verification works by implementing barriers that make it as difficult as possible for young children to stumble upon inappropriate or damaging adult content.
Of course, there will always be a minority that tries to undermine these barriers, which is unfortunate but unavoidable. That’s why it’s so important that age-gating software does not work in silo; but rather plays a role in an overall solution. Underage access to adult content is a problem that needs support from both parents and government to be properly tackled going forward.
Looking ahead
Overall, while it is easy to become fixated on the pros and cons of the upcoming porn ban, what people need to remind themselves of is the core purpose of this legislation – to protect and prevent vulnerable youngsters from needlessly stumbling across this graphic, damaging content.
AgeChecked is just one of the companies which will be able to verify users’ ages.
Yes, Jim Parsons is married, he’s married to a man called Todd Spiewak, who is an art director. Todd apparently graduated from Boston University in 1999. He reportedly has a degree in graphic design.
Todd is just a couple of years younger than Jim at 42 years-old. He was born in January 1977. Jim, on the other hand, was born in March 1973.
The couple has been together, according to IMDB, for over 14 years, although they actually wed in 2017. The couple apparently met when Todd’s boss and Jim’s friend set the two up on a blind date in 2002.
For the first time, Blind Date is introducing an all bisexual dating panel.
The brand new series of Blind Date will feature a first for the classic TV dating show – a mixed line-up of male and females, as they introduce bisexual daters to the format.
In an upcoming episode of the show presenter Paul O’Grady will introduce beauty consultant Jordan as he chooses between support worker Lily, model Jesse or French master’s student Zoe.
This new format element follows the introduction of all-male and all-female line-ups when the series returned in 2017.
Blind Date presenter Paul O’Grady said, “I’m delighted that Blind Date is continuing to be inclusive by giving a platform to those who identify as bisexual. It was a joy to film and I’m sure Cilla would have been proud”
New rules mean that you will have to prove you are over the age of 18 – and be on a database, in order to view porn from mid-July.
Anyone who is watching porn via a British IP address will have to prove they’re of legal age to watch the content from mid-July. The new legislation has many critics concerned about privacy protection. The House of Commons passed the issue quietly on Monday, 17th December 2018.
Users will need to, from 15th July 2019, register on porn sites with official documents such as a driver’s license, passport or an age verification card. One of the systems in place is called the AgeID system another is called AVSecure.
The law means that you have to prove you are over the age of 18 before you can access porn sites in the UK and is part of the Digital Economy Act. The rules will apply to any website or platform which offers porn on a “commercial basis”.
Sites that do not keep a database of its users and their ages maybe blocked to users in the UK.
Advocates for the new rules hope that the measures will protect children from online porn.
However, despite its intentions to protect children from accessing porn, the new law will not stop minors from being able to view unlawful content on social media.
Plans are being made to make “porn passes” available at local newsagents, which will allow people in the UK who want to watch porn to bypass inputting personal data which proves their age to various porn sites, according to The Independent. It is a way in which people can access porn anonymously once the new law comes into force.
Buying a “porn pass” means that you will have to hand over personal information to your local newsagent, who will be able to issue you with an anonymous pass, which will allow you access to adult sites in the UK.
The vulnerable victim of a violent sexual assault says he has been left ‘devastated’ by the attack.
The victim was on a night out in Newcastle City Centre when he was subjected to the horrifying ordeal.
He told police: “I have never been the most confident of people and this incident has really devastated me.
“My self-confidence is really low and I am very anxious about being in public places with people I don’t know.
“Even to this day I feel violated, traumatised and angry that this has happened to me.”
His attacker Zain Osman, 25, of Gerald Street, Newcastle, admitted sexual assault after he approached the victim on a night out and put his hand down the man’s trousers.
He then pushed the victim’s head towards his genitals.
Last month Osman was jailed for 15 months at Newcastle Crown Court.
“Extremely traumatised”
During the 20 minute attack, Osman bit the victim on the back which resulted in him falling into a ditch where some road works were being carried out. The victim was left with multiple injuries and was extremely traumatised.
The 26-year-old victim, who has lifelong anonymity, has been described by his family as ‘a trusting young lad who is unable to defend himself’. They have praised the police for getting justice for their ‘gentle giant’.
They said: “He is so trusting of others, even when he doesn’t know people. It’s not in his nature to be nasty to anybody. He can’t really stick up for himself so how someone could take advantage of him is just incomprehensible.
“The police have been so supportive from day one and when Osman was jailed, it was a huge relief for us all.”
Detective Constable Ross Atkinson who led the case explains why protecting vulnerable people and seeking justice for this victim is exactly what police are here to do.
Det Con Atkinson said, “The morality of Osman who tried to blame the culture of Newcastle to justify his actions is totally inexcusable. He targeted a vulnerable victim and sexually assaulted him. There is no one else to blame for that but himself.
“The victim is such a lovely young man and this has utterly traumatised him. When he first came forward he was understandably extremely upset and shaken by what had happened.
“I think there was an apprehension to report it at first thinking we may not believe what he was telling us, which of course was absolutely not the case – we will treat anyone who reports such offences with compassion and our specialist officers will carry out a thorough investigation.
“My priority throughout this investigation was to really focus on the victim and support him in any way we could to ultimately get the justice he deserves.
“Osman pleaded guilty to the offence due to the irrefutable evidence put before him. It gave the victim a sense of relief that he wouldn’t have to go through a trial and that he was believed.
“I think the important message is that no one should be subject to such an assault in any circumstances.
“It is our priority to protect victims like this brave young man and make sure we do all we can to raise awareness that help and support is available.”
If you have been a victim of rape, sexual assault or exploitation, whether this is recent or historic, please come forward and contact police on 101, or 999 in an emergency.
To contact the 24/7 Crisis Helpline contact 03333448283 or find out more about our Sexual Assault Referral Centre by searching REACH SARC online.
Victims can also contact Victims First Northumbria on 0800 011 3116 who will give independent advice and support.
