THEGAYUK

Category: Comment

  • Is Your Sex Drive Polar Opposite From That Of Your Boyfriend?

    We all remember that first flush of love, when you meet that one man that pushes all your buttons to the point you have to leave the pub early because you just can’t keep your hands off each other. Sex is all consuming and you just can’t wait to see each other to get straight into bed, on the sofa, on the stairs, in the back of the car. But what happens when the initial flush of lust begins to fade and you find that through the process of domestic bliss you and your partner have very different sex drives.

    My sex drive has not waned from the levels of testosterone I felt as a pubescent schoolboy and still experience spontaneous erections and a desire to have sex every day, twice per day and three times on Sunday. My partner on the other hand having burned himself out during the honeymoon period has a very different and lesser sex drive. Whilst I would have to describe our sex life as good and satisfying I still want it more. Despite the assumption many gay men prefer to be promiscuous and involve other people to purge this desire for sex, it is possible to remain in a committed monogamous relationship when your sex drives are polar opposites.

    Finding the common ground is definitely the key, but when you are as rampant as an adolescent on Viagra and your partner would rather have a cup of tea where do you go? Planned sex? I can think of nothing worse than having a date and time in the diary of when you are going to get conjugal with each other but the allure of guaranteed sex after a night or dinner out does have its benefits. Spontaneity and allowing the partner with the lower sex drive to instigate sex will help but can be as frustrating as waiting for the number 9 on a Sunday service.

    Acceptance is the key, I had to see the point from the other side and that not everyone wants or needs as much sex as I do. Do I really need as much sex as I want? The answer is no. I accept that I have a wonderful partner, we share everything, have fun, a fulfilling sex life and a great life together, sex is an added bonus not the key to our relationship. I am more hung up on the act of having sex than the love and intimacy that goes with it in a committed relationship and accepting this and being able to discuss it with my partner has made the fact we have differing sex drives a non-issue.

    We have great sex, quick sex, long sex, bad sex, what do I have to complain about? We are in a long-term partnership and still having sex. Just not enough.

     

  • COMMENT | I Lost My Job Today

    Today I lost my day job.

    If I’m honest, it was not a huge shocker. I had worked there since last year and it had been a bit of a change in career direction but the last couple of months I’d felt a lot like I was drowning with no rubber ring at hand. Still when one of management asked if i’d ‘’got a minute’’ and invited me into another room it felt inevitable and also a gut punch.

    That was a few hours ago. Since then there have been a few tears, most of them when I walked through my front door to be met by my partner with a hug and an ‘’it’s all okay, babe’’.

    His utter, unconditional support and downright bloody loveliness about a situation that screws up our immediate plans was the killer. I wouldn’t blame him at all for being livid with me. And I’d love to say I would be exactly that sweet and caring right now. I’d love to but… I’m not sure.

    And then, as is the gay way, after a lot more tears (Mine) and even more words of support (His), he took me to the corner shop and bought junk food and a very big bottle of vodka. It’s unopened in the fridge right now. But let’s be honest; that will not remain the case for very long.

    My poor, darling man… He blames himself. We got together at Christmas and then moved in together and got engaged roughly five minutes later. More tsunami than whirlwind romance. So yes, maybe I have been less than focussed at work due to the sheer size of life changes in such a short time. But I’m an adult, I make my own choices. And one of them is the amount of work I actually do at work. Like I say, the abrupt interruption in what I will charitably call a career was not exactly a bombshell out of nowhere.

    I saw the storm clouds rolling in but still went out without an umbrella.

    So sat on my sofa on the afternoon I have become, hopefully, temporarily unemployed I admit I am terrified. This is even before the paranoia at the bottom of the corner shop vodka has kicked in. I read the newspapers on he weekend about how the new Tory government and the welfare cuts to come will make life tougher for many. Potentially that includes me.

    I’m a middle aged poof, with a patchy career history. My age and a CV that is less than dazzling makes this start of a new chapter seem like one case of Picking Myself and Dusting Myself Down too many.

    It’s not that I’m proud or picky but getting to 5pm in a job that pays reasonably okay… Well, at this point winning the big one on the Lottery seems shorter odds.

    Anyway, enough self pity for now. Tomorrow is a new day and all that crap… And I have employment agencies to pester and try to spin this latest hiccup into something vaguely positive. That will be stretch.

    However for now, there is a bottle of vodka in the fridge and a supportive partner to share it with. It may seem bleak. It could be worse.

  • OP ED | 10 reasons to vote Conservative: Nick Boles

    We invited each of the major political parties to create an OP ED telling our readers why they thought it was important for the LGBT community to vote for their party. In the first of these columns the Conservatives’ Nick Boles, the Minister of State for Skills and Equalities, gives his top 10 reasons to vote Conservative.

    Equal opportunity, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, is at the heart of the Conservative Party. Our commitment to promoting and protecting the rights of LGBT people is absolute – I am proud of our record so far, but I’m always mindful that there is more to do. Here’s why I think THEGAYUK readers should vote Conservative:

    1. The right plan for Britain. Like everyone else, LGBT people value the security of work, a good home, and strong public services. We have the right plan that is creating more jobs and helping people get on the housing ladder, whilst increasing spending on the NHS: We have pledged an additional £8bn, which is only possible because we have created a strong economy.

    2. Strong leadership, home and abroad. David Cameron offers the strong leadership our country needs. He stood up for LGBT rights and marriage equality: He knew it was right, and he led from the front. I admire that.

    3. The right team: Under David Cameron, the Conservative party is modern and inclusive. In the last parliament, the Conservatives had more LGBT MPs than all the other parties put together. We will always value diversity: 14 percent of our new candidates are from BME backgrounds, and a third of new candidates in seats we already hold are women.

    4. Marriage Equality. We have introduced civil marriage equality by giving same-sex couples the same opportunity to get married. As Conservatives we believe in freedom and supporting people who make a commitment to each other.

    5. Correcting past wrongs. We have already made it possible for gay men with historic criminal records for consensual gay sex to apply to have these records deleted. Our manifesto sets out plans for a new law to lift the blight of all such outdated past convictions based on the pardon given to Alan Turing.

    6. Harsher penalties for hate crimes. We’ve ensured people who murder transgender people in hate crime attacks now face life sentences. We will now look at extending hate crime laws to cover crimes committed against people on the basis of disability, sexual orientation or transgender identity.

    7. Tackling homophobia in schools and sport. We have invested £2 million in schools to help them tackle homophobic bullying and launched a Sports Charter to stamp out homophobia and transphobia in sport.

    8. The UK is now number one in Europe for LGBT rights. Under our government, the ‘Rainbow Europe’ survey conducted by ILGA Europe has ranked the UK number one for LGBT rights for the third year in a row.

    9. Promoting LGBT rights overseas. We will continue to challenge anti-LGBT laws overseas, and we have a track-record of leading from the very top on this: David Cameron has personally raised concerns with President Putin, whilst UK Embassies abroad now support human rights organisations campaigning to change laws and social attitudes. We have also stopped the deportation of asylum seekers facing homophobic persecution.

    10. We value LGBT people for who they are. We are committed to equality, but no-one should be defined purely by their sexuality or gender identity. Our plan is for a stronger economy and security for all – and a country where everyone is free to be who they are and to be given the respect they deserve.

    The ideas and any voting intention expressed in this column are those of the writer and may not necessarily represent TheGayUK.com.

    The Greens, Lib Dems, Labour and UKIP were invited to create content for THEGAYUK

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Bruce Jenner And What It Truly Means To Be Transgender

    Over the past few months we have read and heard a lot of opinions on Bruce Jenner former sports hero and field athlete and currently world famous for his part in Keeping up with the Kardashians, starring his famous (step) children.

    Once the world realised that his appearance was gradually changing: more feminine features, nail polish, longer hair the rumour mill started, the jokes started and in the end it was decided that Bruce Jenner could be just another figure for ridicule. It is media, and often human, nature to poke fun at those that are different. It is a defence mechanism we use to make sense of our world, but over the last twenty years the tabloid papers, aided by late night show comedians, have turned it into an acceptable way of dehumanising people they do not care for. The general public usually accepted these views and took them on board, until this week.

    Bruce’s coming out was a big issue in the trans community and gave a face to an often hidden part of society. But after all the attention stories and interviews do people now understand what it is like to be transgender? To not feel at home in your body, to never feel you can be yourself in public? To feel physical pain when you are addressed as “he” when in your mind and soul you feel it’s “she” or vise versa? For most people the answer is probably “no”, because this is the part of the story that got lost in all the chaos.

    The step Bruce Jenner took this week, his public coming out, is neither the beginning nor the ending of his journey. It is a halfway point. Being transgender is a lifelong journey that usually starts at a young age.

    Transgender children often realise they are different when they become aware of gender differences: the ways in which differ from girls in appearance, dress and expected behaviour. This causes upset and confusion in a gender dysphoric child as before, like any other child, it was not aware that this difference even existed. From this moment on the child suddenly becomes an outsider, it doesn’t fit in anymore and a lifetime of struggle begins. Imagine waking up day after day knowing you do not belong anywhere, you are neither a boy nor a girl and people do not understand you. Picture yourself suddenly waking up and finding you are a dog, you know you’re human but no-one else sees it, so they all treat you as someone you are not. How would that make you feel? Then imagine living like this for the rest of your life!! Not good, is it?

    Bruce Jenner spoke and it made a difference: It is now accepted that he wants to continue his life as a woman, something he feels he has been all his life. The media have slowly decided to accept him and slightly changed their tone after his interview, mainly because there has been an unprecedented outpouring of support from the general public.

    His honest interview has touched peoples hearts and created an understanding about his struggle.

    It also saw the birth of a very lovely wave of support via social media via the hashtag #PaintYourNailsForBruce. Via the hashtag male supporters of Bruce Jenner post pictures of themselves with painted nails.


    The fact that many of these men are “Straight manly men” makes it all even better.

    ”But,” you may think, “isn’t it accepted now? A few hormones, a new haircut and a few operations and it’s settled, right?” Wrong. Hormones and operations are but a tiny fraction of it all. There are friends and family who might not understand or support the feelings of the transgender. And even if they accept it, there is the inner psychology to be dealt with: self acceptance, the strength to take a long painful and lonely road. The courage to present yourself to the world, coming out day after day: at work, to new people you meet, making them see what you feel. Then there is the constant threat of violence: the rates of crime against transgender is very high according to transviolencetracker.org.

    Living with gender dysphoria is a constant battle, so it’s not surprising that the suicide rates in the transgender community are very high. At least 1 in 5 has tried suicide at-least once, while two out of three has had considered it at several points in life – even after transition.

    Thankfully we have reached a point where many parents are aware of the existence of gender dysphoria; they seek medical help and advice which means that few percent of the new trans generation can grow up as the gender they feel they are instead of the one they are forced to be. Still, this percent of happy trans teens growing up accepted and understood is still very low. This is such a shame, because if gender dysphoria is discovered early in life a trans youth can be prescribed puberty blockers, causing puberty to delay. This means the characteristics of gender are stalled (breasts, menstruation, Adams apple, hair growth etc.) This gives the child the chance to figure out what they want and if they are certain about wanting to undergo treatment to develop into the gender they feel they are. Once certain medication can be taken and the transformation can start.

    The older you get, the more difficult things can be, even more so if a person is only certain about their identity later in life. Which can happen.

    It is certain that the Bruce Jenner story has put a spotlight on the transgender community. Hopefully this will lead to more trans voices being heard and more acceptance and understanding in the future.

    Thank you for your bravery, Bruce.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

     

  • Team Elton: Why D&G Should Take Responsibility for Their “Personal Views”

    They say that fashion has a tendency to cycle and repeat itself. Fashion virtuosos Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana seem to follow this fashion rule of thumb by trying to reintroduce the trend of heteronormativity back in vogue.

    Famous for their bold fashion vision, this season Dolce and Gabbana take an even bolder approach: influenced by traditional family values the Italian duo now appear to assume the roles of conservative moralists, while seemingly drawing their inspiration from ‘before the Stonewall’ and other pre-sexual revolution eras, the duo fiercely presented their slightly tailored, but certainly more edgy, new collection of anti-gay attitudes (negative remarks towards gay marriage and adoption were made by D&G in 2006 and 2013) for Italian news magazine Panorama. Here are some highlights:

    “The only family is the traditional one. No chemical offsprings and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed.”

    “synthetic children [children conceived via egg donors or artificial insemination]”

    “The family is not a fad. In it there is a supernatural sense of belonging.”

    Even though Dolce and Gabbana later pleaded that anti-gay parenting comments made were just an opinion, this way trying to clarify IVF remarks that had incited a global outrage, the remarks, nevertheless, made by such well-known public figures inevitably pose a threat to LGBT community and their rights.

    First and foremost, Dolce’s and Gabbana’s anti-same sex parenting comments increase social stigma against LGBT families and parenting. It does so by propagating an idea that “the only family is the traditional one”, which in turn helps to reinforce conservative and old Christian beliefs that marital relations are only fitting between the people of opposite sexes and any other families that do not fit this model are incomplete, unnatural or not ‘real’ families. Needless to say, such view is very much in accord with those views of opponents of the same-sex families and, hence, is based on a widespread heterosexist assumption that a child needs both a mother and a father in order to form a ‘healthy’ identity. Although various studies conducted on child development suggest otherwise (APA; Pediatrics; CPA), it is not the goal of this piece to prove how wrong Dolce and Gabbana are, but rather to point out the potential damage their comments may cause for the LGBT community.

    With this in mind, while anti-gay parenting statements made by Dolce and Gabbana compliment the prejudice against LGBT parenting, another destructive consequence of the designers’ negative statements is that it helps to supply anti-gay politicians and activists with the ‘new’ anti-gay opinions coming from the prominent LGBT figures. Such opinions coming from LGBT insiders, hence, strengthen anti-gay activists’ ammunition to attack LGBT citizens’ rights for parenthood. For instance, a remark that “the family is not a fad” implies that those homosexuals who want to form a family want to do so because it is fashionable and that such desire is not serious and, subsequently, must be short-lived. Such generalisation then indicates that according to Dolce and Gabbana’s view homosexual parents are lacking parental competence and therefore are inferior parents in comparison to heterosexual parents.

    In addition, social media quarrel between Sir Elton John and Dolce and Gabbana points out a dichotomy between LGBT members regarding the issue of the same-sex parenting: more precisely, between those LGBT members who are in favour of the same-sex parenting and those who are not. In other words, remarks made by Dolce and Gabbana bring the disagreement existing within LGBT community regarding LGBT rights for parenthood to light. This disagreement, as a result, strengthens anti-gay politicians’ and activists’ argument that the same-sex couples are yet not fit to raise children, this way jeopardising parenting rights of those LGBT members who are capable and ready to raise children.

    Last, but certainly not least, Dolce and Gabbana’s remarks are pure discrimination of LGBT community, their children and all children conceived by IVF in general. To begin with the discrimination of LGBT community, the statements, such as: “The only family is the traditional one”; “life has a natural flow” and that “there are things that should not be changed” suggest that a family is exclusively heterosexual privilege rather than a human right.

    Therefore, by supporting traditional family values Dolce and Gabbana implicitly justify discrimination against homosexual peoples’ civil right to form a family. In turn, by justifying discrimination against LGBT people, the designers support the denial of humanity, the denial of equal dignity and worth, as well as the treatment of LGBT community as second class citizens.

    Finally, calling children “synthetic” or “chemical” because they were conceived via egg donors or artificial insemination shows that Dolce and Gabbana differentiate children and, hence, do they consider children conceived biologically as much more superior then their artificially conceived counterparts? Ultimately, it goes without saying that calling children “synthetic” or “chemical” is dehumanisation of children conceived artificially, not to mention that such remarks are simply mean and degrading.

    In the end, while responding to the uproar and trying to clarify their IVF remarks through the news and social media, Dolce and Gabbana explained that the comments made are just a personal opinion; for example, in an interview with CNN the duo said that they respect how people chose to live their lives, later adding that others should also respect differences in opinion.

    Indeed, everyone has a right to express their views and opinions. Yet, when one’s opinion is so disrespectful, degrading and has a potential to harm the other’s civil rights, such opinion is certainly not worthy of respect. In fact, it is worth of strong counter-reaction and criticism. Perhaps even a boycott…

    It is not a first time that Dolce and Gabbana make negative statements. For instance, in 2006, Gabbana told The Daily Mail that he is “opposed” to the idea of same-sex parents raising a child. Similarly, in 2013, when asked if they had ever intended to marry, Dolce told The Telegraph that he “doesn’t believe” in gay marriage.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | The Trans Battleground

    Is the battle for transexual equality over? Ten years on from the Gender Recognition Act, TheGayUK’s legal experts look at how the law is protecting or not, the transgender community.

    This April, the LGBT community and their supporters will celebrate the ten year anniversary of the Gender Recognition Act 2004. This landmark law gave the trans community the ability to be legally classified by their chosen gender, i.e. to obtain a new birth certificate recognising that person as being a man or a woman (known as a “Gender Recognition Certificate”). The test was whether the person in question suffered from gender dysphoria (i.e. severe discomfort with one’s biological sex) and had lived as their chosen gender for two years.

    Until December of last year there was a quirk in the law, which meant that any married person who wished to obtain a Gender Recognition Certificate had to divorce their spouse if they wished to have their gender recognised. However, thanks to gay marriage, that quirk has now been removed.

    Yet more good news came in the intervening 10 years, in the form of the Equality Act 2010. This act means it is now unlawful for a person to discriminate someone for being (among other things) trans. The definition for trans is whether someone has undergone, is undergoing or is proposing to undergo a process “for the purpose of reassigning the person’s sex by changing physiological or other attributes of sex”. This means it protects trans people both before and after the operation, but not people who are happy with their biological sex but prefer to dress as the opposite.

    But we are not there yet.

    Alarming figures from the Home Office show that in 2014 there were over 550 hate crimes perpetrated against the trans community. This mightn’t seem like a lot, but it represents around a quarter of the trans community in the UK (based on the 2009 figure of how many Gender Recognition Certificate had been issued). What is of further concern is that the gap between the social acceptance of LGB people and trans people is widening. There is a danger of trans people being “left behind”, losing some of the unity that previously aligned their cause with that of the LGB community.

     

    So whilst on the statute books the battle against inequality and prejudice has apparently been won, in the hearts and minds of many, trans rights are irrelevant or even abhorrent. It is up to all of us to continue to show solidarity in the fight for equality so that the abbreviation remains LGBT, not LGB and T.

    Have you got a question for our legal team? Check out our legal pages here

     

    Charles Irvine is a barrister at 1 Gray’s Inn Square; David Peachey is a barrister at Enterprise Chambers. Both practice in the area of trusts of the home, inheritance and property law. Special thanks to Phillipa Woodrow, pupil barrister at 1 Gray’s Inn Square, who helped research this article.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT: GREEN: A Party For The Common Good

    I’m obviously not here to tell you who to vote for. I’m not even going to try and persuade you into voting Green.

    But I am going to share some important policies the Green party have to offer, and not only from an LGBTIQ stand point. Although, from a gay man’s perspective, The Green Party are standing up for our rights in many amazing ways.

    “For The Common Good,” is their slogan, and it rings true throughout their manifesto. To me this simple statement is somewhat empowering. It doesn’t segregate between social class, gender, religion, sexual orientation, disability – it encompasses everyone together. They are treating us all as equal, as the United Kingdom we are.

    Let us start with an important issue doing the rounds within the debates: immigration. Other parties are stabbing at this issue and the effect it is having on our government, on our own personal taxes. Yes, it is an issue but, in my opinion, it’s down to a flaw in how our benefit system operates, not the immigrants claiming them. I don’t begrudge foreigners seeking solace within our welcoming nation, I don’t want to condemn them to the life they were desperate to flee from. The Green Party agrees.

    They propose a reworking of the benefits system by controlling immigration fairly and respecting every immigrant individually for the contribution they make to our nation. In terms of immigration from an LGBTIQ perspective, the party desperately want to end the detention of LGBTIQ (and other) asylum seekers and the notion of disbelief that often denies asylum seekers refugee status.

    In regards to foreign and national civilians, they seek to double child benefits and raise a pension that people can live on realistically. In the long term, for the common good, the party aim to unite tax and benefit in a Basic Income system. This scheme will cover everyone, again respecting us all as equals.

    The NHS is another huge playing field when it comes to the debating parties, and rightly so. It is an important offering the UK holds and requires a delicate yet stable approach to maintain it’s future. The Green Party wants to end the privatisation that has started to appear and provide it with the proper funding it deserves. They also want to introduce free social care to the elderly and aim to give more time, funding and effort into the tackling of mental health.

    Other parties have ignored such medical issues, by cutting funding to the likes of the mental health services and certain out-reach programmes, which have had some cruel effects on our LGBTIQ community. Additionally the party want to end other NHS cuts, which have undermined HIV services and made it harder for trans people to access gender reassignment assistance. Plus, another bid in our favour concerns giving blood. They want to reduce the current 12-month deferral period and base each case specifically on the individual wanting to donate.

    The Green Party stands to help us elsewhere, and all other equality issues. One amazing bullet point they are prompting calls for mandatory diversity and equality lessons in schools. This will step up to combat all forms of prejudice based bullying and teach important lessons of acceptance to children from primary school ages. They also propose a requirement for the police to employ diversity liaison officers whose main responsibility will cover a prevention action on crimes originating in discrimination of any kind. As well, they seek to tackle the topic of institutional racism within our current justice system.

    In terms of women’s rights, they have suggested a UK wide strategy to tackle violence against women – concerning domestic violence, rape, sexual abuse and trafficking. This is alongside other women’s rights battles they want to challenge including equal pay for both sexes; a reworking of sexism in the media particularly with the likes of “lads mags” and their availability, plus making it illegal to stop nursing mothers feeding their babies in public spaces.

    They strongly invite an end to stigma in the workplace towards any minority, from everything and everyone covering race to disability. This bracket stretches to the teaching profession where the party wants to introduce comprehensive training for all educational staff on diversity and inclusion issues. Elsewhere in the classroom the party propose the teaching of HIV, sex and relationship education with an inclusion of LGBTIQ relationships. Adding a requirement of every school to have an anti-bullying programme explicitly combating homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying.

    I am not telling you to vote for The Green Party, but I invite you to read their manifesto, which offers relief to battles that do concern the LGBTIQ community. They want to take us forward and treat us with the equal rights we deserve. We are no different, we deserve our say, and The Green Party are a good ally. Please read their manifesto and decide for yourself, for the common good.

    by Mark Goggin

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Should Gay People Vote Purely On Parties’ Record On Gay Rights?

    I’ll jump straight in and start by stating the bleeding obvious, that I don’t think gay people should be voting purely on political parties’ record on gay rights.

    I believe there is a much bigger picture that needs to be looked at. Sexuality should not define us as individuals and although we have some way to go until things are really equal for us, I feel that there are more pressing issues that should be given consideration at this time.

    With just just under two weeks to go until the General Election, it’s looking like it will be a close battle between Labour and the Conservative Party, with losses likely for the Liberal Democrats and some gains for UKIP. The campaigning is ramping up a gear with each rise of the sun and the various political parties have been releasing their manifestos.

    As part of the manifestos, most of the political parties have mentioned LGBT rights and the Labour Party have a specific LGBT manifesto. It’s great that the parties are being mindful of LGBT rights and it shows what great progress has been made in recent times. However, it could also be seen as an attempt to win the ‘pink vote’ and I’m cautious of voting for a political party just because they have pledged to do the most for gay people.

    The last Labour government did a lot for gay people; lowering the age of consent, repealing the ban on gay people serving in the armed forces, repealing Section 28, introducing civil partnerships, and a whole host of other equality legislation. The current Conservative-Lib Dem Coalition has introduced marriage equality for gay people and set up a £2 million fund to tackle homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying in schools.

    The Green Party have always been supportive of full equality for gay people. Then there’s UKIP, who despite having some truly awful characters in their ranks and being the only main political party not to address LGBT rights in their manifesto, have an LGBT network.

    In fact, at this year’s Warwickshire Pride festival, which I organise, so far UKIP are the only political party to book a stall there.

    Now I’m by no means a UKIP supporter, but the point I am making is that all of the political parties have aspects that could appeal to a gay voter. But as mentioned previously, there is so much more to take into consideration.

    If you cut me open, my blood is red (take from that what you will). I know exactly who I’ll be voting for on May 7th. The issues that matter to me are the economy, protecting the NHS, and supporting the most vulnerable in our society. The state of the country and our society as a whole is more important to me than my individual rights. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one (fans of Star Trek will recognise that quote).

    It would be wrong of me to tell you who you should be voting for. Ultimately you will know what your values are and where you stand on certain issues. What I will plead though, is that you at least exercise your right to vote. You never know; it could be your vote that counts the most.

     

    by @MrDanielBrowne

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Pinks For The Blues Or Reds?

    There are only two real players that could be Top-of-the-Pops in this years General Election come May 7th. Let’s not beat around the Mulberry, burnt orange soft grain leather weekend bag, Ed Miliband or David Cameron will be residing at number ten whatever the result.

    The chart-topper will probably have to share a piece of the action with a lesser party, embarking on yet another coalition. Either way, Ed or David will hold the majority of clout.

    The UK would obviously be a more harmonious, Telly-Tubby-like place to live if the Green Party were elected. Everyone would do away with cars and annual travel cards and walk, cycle or skip to work come blustery showers and cheek-freezing winters. Plus we’d purr like kittens in our boudoirs at night, safe in the knowledge if we were threatened by a nuclear attack the country could do sod all in defence. Not practical, unless the Greens send the other countries with nukes seductive sonnets, on recycled paper of course, convincing them to disarm their missiles as well.

    Nigel Farage – what a guy. Spitting Image would have gone to town, three major cities and punched not only the air but a couple of Boeing 747s to make a latex puppet of him. Although, he’s doing the muppet thing quite well on his own. This is the chap, back in December last year, that defended comments made by former UKIP activist Kerry Smith. Kerry called gay party members “disgusting poofters”.

    Nick Clegg should be aware that liberal, open-minded and generous-hearted Carol Vorderman was out the Countdown door when her time was up.

    Attitude Magazine’s May issue asked Farage, “Where do you think we should be turning our attention next in terms of LGBT rights?”. Nigel poetically answered: “Is there anything? You tell me”. Clearly Farage, and matters relating to the LGBT community spend as much time together as Sam-Cam and Justine Thornton (Miliband’s trouble-and-strife).

    So, is it the Reds or the Blues who will win the pink votes?

    The Same-Sex-Marriage Act was passed during the Conservatives reign. But the Blues didn’t give same-sex couples the same inheritance and pension rights as heterosexual couples.

    The gay marriage act didn’t stand a hope in Heaven without the Liberal Democrats help, or Labour MPs like Ray Collins and Waheed Ali. They propelled the Same-Sex-Marriage Act through the House of Lords. 128 Tory MPs voted against gay wedlock, only 117 voted for rainbow confetti affairs.

    David Cameron gives the perception he’d be happy to hang out with lesbians and have a cheeky wiggle down at XXL. The Cams would no doubt be scintillating company on your table at a homo wedding – they’ve probably been to loads. Is it a case of wolf in wool tailor-made suit worth £3500? How genuine are the Conservatives as a whole for gay rights?

    The Reds passed the Civil Partnership Bill and scrapped Section 28, and in doing so equalised the age of consent, fertility treatments, adoption rights and allowed gays in the armed services to come out.

    Let’s not brush under the silk Isfahan rug that Cameron voted against the annulment of Section 28 in 2003. Furthermore, the Tories were the only major party in the last game of ‘I Want To Be Prime Minister’ with the same amount of gay policies as UKIP in this year’s election. Zero.

    Ed Miliband told Attitude, “I’m determined to be a warrior against injustice and for great equality”. Ed just might be able to pull-off chest armour, a leather skirt and a plumed helmet. Labour hasn’t had the reluctance over the year for flying the rainbow flag like the blues.

    Michael Cashman has been appointed the rainbow superhero on LGBT issues worldwide for Labour. Where’s the Tories’ pink MP?

    Who’s most likely to support gay Soho, fight for equality around the globe and perhaps lower the cost of Hermès? One of these parliamentary-plonkers will be chief. I’m voting for the reds in my constituency.
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    Vote clever team.

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  • COMMENT: #NoToArmani – Yet Another Person Telling Gays What To Do

    What is it about super-rich fashion mavens who have been more than happy to take our pink pounds (and dollars) to fuel their luxurious lifestyles to then turn around and trot out their rather obnoxious homophobic opinions?

    First there was Dolce & Gabbana who riled up Sir Elton John and most of the gay community when they publicly decried gay parenting, and now it’s the turn of billionaire 80-year-old Giorgio Armani to bite the hand that feeds him with his totally unacceptable comments.

    Armani told The Sunday Times Magazine:

    “A homosexual man is a man 100 per cent. He does not need to dress homosexual.

    “When homosexuality is exhibited to the extreme – to say: ‘Ah, you know I’m homosexual,’ – that has nothing to do with me. A man has to be a man.”

     

    Really Giorgio? I guess we cannot stop these men who profit from a homosexual sensibility making these public announcements to the media to drum up some publicity for themselves BUT we can stop buying any of his clothing.

    I say #notoarmani.

    Despite never admitting to being gay Armani told Vanity Fair in 2000,

    “I have had women in my life. And sometimes men,” he said at the time. “But you know very well that to do this work one must have a free mind.”

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  • OP ED | Tragic Lesbians And Clunky Love Stories: Does TV Have Trouble With Lesbian Love?

    OP ED | Tragic Lesbians And Clunky Love Stories: Does TV Have Trouble With Lesbian Love?

    After an episode in Call the Midwife in mid-March there was a clear split between viewers: there were those that praised the strong (though crowded) storyline and viewers from the LGBT community (mainly the L) that were reeling and disappointed by yet another blow to a gay TV couple.

    For a long time now gay viewers have complained by the lack of happy gay couples on TV, lesbians, in particular, have felt hard done by with several TV shows killing or “turning straight” lesbian characters. So with hardly any TV representation and coming hot on the heals of Last Tango in Halifax “lesbian hit by car” plot-line, repeating this on Midwife hit hard.

    Viewers took to internet and message-boards to express their sadness, grief and anger.

    https://twitter.com/CanhamLauren/status/574688881838288896?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    https://twitter.com/Laneytog/status/574680891710111745?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    https://twitter.com/seraudnitz/status/574679676205068288?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    https://twitter.com/hearnsolo/status/574679103250513920?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    https://twitter.com/hearnsolo/status/574679103250513920?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    “While on The L Chat people said: Lesbians strive to gain greater social acceptance and respect as a minority. But millions of people watch these family oriented Sunday evening dramas (CTM, LTiH) and will come to accept that this is a pattern, that lesbians don’t matter much. It can help to shape viewers’ perceptions, that lesbians are less valuable as people, are dispensable, don’t deserve a happy life together. TV is a powerful medium and can have a huge impact on how people think.”

    The fact that it was Call the Midwife, known for its deep and well-researched and often educational storylines presenting this story hurt the most. I, though, am less surprised.

    At the end of last year’s Call the Midwife I wrote a column criticising nurse Patsy’s badly written coded coming out. I was told by viewers to wait and see, because they were sure that the story would be handled better in the coming season.

    So come January I sat down, and halfway through the series, I begun to feel I might be happily proven wrong in my initial criticism. I watch Patsy blossom, become opener, stand up for her believes and finally find love. Still, though, I felt something missing. Patsy’s love story always seemed written as an afterthought. It was there, the right things were said, but it seemed rushed as if the script had been written and the writer then remembered: “Oh, what about Patsy!!”

    Compared to the love stories of Chummy, Trixy and Shelagh where episodes were dedicated to their falling, doubts and other things that lovers do, the two or three minutes we got to spend with Patsy and Delia were crumbs. I had hoped for something stronger, especially after the hart hitting “The Undesirables” (though I found the comparison between LGBT and rats a bit, well … odd). Why not counter this with in the last episode with the girls setting up life together as good as they could. The drama could have come from these girls having to hide their love, while Fred and Vi had their wedding. After a whole years and season of waiting this felt very much like a cop out.

    Soon complaints were sent off to head writer Heidi Thomas and the BBC. Some viewers were so disappointed that they might have expressed a bit more strongly then they otherwise would, scaring Heidi. She told followers: “The hate mail has come from people who feel they should only be allowed to be happy. It is very difficult and may well frighten others away from creating gay characters. Never mind – it doesn’t frighten me!”

    With this reply she seems to have missed the point. Having a strong, settled gay couple in one of the biggest TV shows in the UK means a lot. Of course not everyone has to be happy, but it seems as if TV writers thrive on having no gay couple happy. This is very damaging to young people, as it tells them gay relationships are unhappy by default.

    Supporters of Heidi say that the relationship ending like this is realistic for the time the series is set in. Well, none of my family recalls every lesbian in the 50s or 60s being hit by a car and suffering amnesia, forgetting her sexual orientation. There were thousands of very secret but not less loving relationships out there. In fact there are many lesbian couples from the 1960s still together now.

    A storyline focusing on the girls living together and dealing with the difficulties thrown at them while sticking together would have been much more daring and original then throwing a dated cliché at us.

     

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