THEGAYUK

Category: Film

  • FILM REVIEW | Last Christmas – not a funny movie

    FILM REVIEW | Last Christmas – not a funny movie

    ★★★ | Last Christmas

    LAST CHRISTMAS – Festive rom com based on the massive two million selling Christmas hit single by George Michael and Wham of the same name backed up by as many of his other hits as Emma Thompson who is in charge here both in front of and behind the camera can squeeze into the short running time. There are Christmas baubles in every single scene.

    Nutshell – An accident prone singleton who is unlucky in love played by Game Of Thrones ‘Queen Of Dragons’ Emilia Clark works in a all year round Covent garden Christmas Grotto Store and she simply loves George Michael music. She meets a new man who has an element of mystery about him but her life really starts to change for the better with his on/off input leading towards a surprising denouement… that some will see coming a mile off.

    Running Time – 103 Minutes – Cert PG-12A.

    Tagline – ‘Sometimes You just gotta have Faith’

    The Gay UK Factor – It is a very ‘straight’ romantic tale with the usual cinema ups and downs so the gay appeal besides the hot male lead Henry Golding all comes in the form of the soundtrack. GM is one of the most successful and popular gay singers of all time and his songs are much loved and hold up superbly well with time. It is great to hear them again largely in their original versions – their relevance to individual movie scenes is another matter all together though.  

    Cast – Emilia Clark, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh, Emma Thomson and a cast of star cameos including Patti Lapone, Rob Delaney, Sue Perkins and even Mr Richard Notting Hill/4 Weddings/Love Actually (which this film aims to be) Curtis… plus two big surprise appearances in the final scene. 

    Key Player – We would love to say the lovely talented actor/director Emma Thompson but tbh her input in both roles are not her career high points so it is back to Georgie boy again who gave Thompson his permission to use his songs before his untimely death. You get 13 of his most well known songs (some in their entirety) and the much publicised new unreleased song ‘This Is How (We want You To Get High)’ which is mid table GM probably at best… it sure ain’t no ‘Careless Whisper’ or ‘A Different Corner’ that’s for sure.

    Budget – $25 Million which is as cheap as chips and it has already made $37 Million with 5 weeks to still go to the big guy in the red suit who like our editor only comes once a year turns up. Christmas films do tend to have long legs in the earning stakes becoming relevant Love Actually/It’s A Wonderful Life stylee every year on DVT/TV/Streaming etc so a potential good little earner and it won’t do George’s record sales any damage either which is great for many of his favoured charities.

    Best Bit – 1.05 mins; The movie starts getting into its belated heart warming third act just at the right time as you are wandering where it is going with some fun busking and charity fund raising which fits as perfectly with all the snow and Xmas trees here as a cock in a tinseled glory hole.

    Worst Bit – 0.44 mins; A staged bit of early romance on an ice rink is forced in like a set piece that seemed like a good idea on paper but it just doesn’t work and the GM track is a very poor fit which misses the hoped for emotional target by a few thousand candy canes… maybe Ace Of Spades, Anarchy in The UK , Gangnam Style or Baby Shark would have worked better.

    Little Secret – George Michael wrote ‘Last Christmas’ one of the most famous festive songs in history when he was just 17 years old. Impressive but get this he had written ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go Go’, ‘Freedom’, ‘Club Tropicana’, ‘Young Guns’, ‘Bad Boy’s and unbelievably ‘Careless Whisper’ before he was 18 when the rest of us were still learning how to jack off properly.

    It was probably the most prolific bout of songwriting in History that even members of the Beatles would struggle to compete with. ‘Last Christmas’ was a double A-side with ‘Everything She Wants’ and famously is the biggest selling song in History to never make number one. It is the Third biggest selling Christmas song ever behind Band Aid and Boney M’s hummable ‘Mary’s Boy Child’ far outstripping Slade/Shaky/Mariah/Pogues/Wizard/Cliff/Bing et al.

    It has been a hit on 16 separate occasions a world record and it has just reached 90 weeks on the chart which is phenomenal for a tune with not all year round appeal but for some reason it failed to make the Top 20 in the US.    

    Further Viewing – You can probably make this list yourself but start with About Time, It’s A Wonderful Life, Walking On Sunshine, Four Weddings, Ever After, Two Weeks Notice, Sleepless In Seattle, Notting Hill, The Wedding Singer, Muriel’s Wedding, the magnificent Pretty Woman and You’ve Got Mail which this is basically a carbon copy off this film but that was better.

    Any Good – It is OK which most people will see as a disappointment as the idea and premise seems fool proof. It just does not deliver on the promise. The Christmas feel is great so you will feel in the holiday mood on leaving a screening but there are two fundamental flaws.

    Firstly the movie just is not that funny and we expect you may laugh once every 30 minutes and that simply is not good enough.

    Secondly and even more damaging is the songs with the exception of the headline song’s three appearances have no relevance to the scenes they are in, they seem crow barred in and could actually be swapped with any other GM song without anyone noticing…

    Mamma Mia Here We Go Again / LaLa Land or Rocketman this is not. 

    Rating – 41/100

  • FILM REVIEW | By the Grace of God

    FILM REVIEW | By the Grace of God

    ★★★★ | By the Grace of God

    Francois Ozon is back at the top of his game in his new film By the Grace of God.

    Ozon, director of some very unique and unusual films such as 8 Women, Swimming Pool, and The New Girlfriend, takes a turn towards fact in a film about the Catholic Church abuse scandal, a true story where three men publicly come out to tell their story about being sexually abused by the same priest when they were very young.

    In this French film, Melvil Poupaud, who was amazing in Laurence Anyways, plays Alexandre Guérin, married wth children, yet he’s got something in his past that keeps haunting him – the time when he was young and was molested by Father Bernard Preynat (played by Bernard Verley). When he learns that Father Preynat is stil working with children, and not wanting to be on his seeking out justice – he finds two more victims – Francois (Denis Menochet) and Emmanuel (Swann Arlaud), and among them they band together. They form an organization and publicize it, and more victims come forward. But with this brings memories of the past, memories that some of the men can’t get over, but Father Preynat must pay for his sins, and the men won’t stop until Preynat is jailed.

    Ozon, who also wrote the film, has chosen the right actors to play the victims. They are all very good but especially Poupaud who carries this heavy burden with him while managing to be a good husband and father to his children without concealing his emotional scars. Like ‘Spotlight,’ the 2015 Best Picture winner which told a similar story from journalists perspective, By the Grace of God is more effective because it tells the story from the victims perspective and how a man they, and their parents, trusted, could do something as horrific, evil and criminal to them at such a young age – it’s a crime.

    Believe it or not, the real Father Preynat is still alive, has never served time for his crimes, and the only punishment he has so far received is to be defrocked by the Archdiocese of Lyon. Shocking.

    By the Grace of God In cinemas and on Curzon Home Cinema on 25th October.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Ian McKellen On Stage, London

    THEATRE REVIEW | Ian McKellen On Stage, London

    ★★★★★ | Ian McKellen On Stage, Harold Pinter Theatre, London

    “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.”

    This is a famous quote from Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare, and it can also be applied to Sir Ian McKellen, and his performance in his one-man show ‘Ian McKellen On Stage,’ a show that is both very entertaining, engaging, brilliant and great!

    McKellen has been touring this solo show all over the UK – 80 theatres for his 80th birthday, and now 80 performances at the Harold Pinter Theatre in London.

    And I strongly encourage you to go – do whatever you can to get a ticket. It is a tour de force performance, so unlike anything I’ve ever seen in live theatre. And it’s rare to see someone of his calibre, celebrity, candor, wit and knowledge on a West End Stage.

    McKellen takes us through his life during this show, which includes his work in both film (especially Lord of The Rings where he famously played Gandalf) and theatre, working with legends any actor can only dream of working with (Laurence Olivier). There is also a huge suitcase on stage, a suitcase littered with stickers of theatres where he has performed this very same show (The Space in the Isle of Dogs, the Young Vic, Theatre Royal Stratford East, Leicester Curve Studio… the list goes on and on). But in this suitcase are books by William Shakespeare, and McKellen gets the audience involved by asking them to call out the names of any Shakespeare book, which McKellen plucks out of the suitcase and proceeds to tell a story about said book, until all the books have been talked about – pure genius.

    Ian McKellen on Stage is what I suspect is the real Ian Mckellen off stage; genuinely warm, friendly, self-assured and confident and making you feel this way too, and by the end of the night he makes the audience feel that they were let in on his life, with some secrets told, and some gossip about other famous people, and opening up his life to us in a way no other performer (that I know of) has ever done. And we feel that we want to share our lives with him at some point as well. Ian (yes I feel comfortable enough to call him Ian) collects money in the lobby after the show for theatre charities (proceeds from this show also goes to theatre charities).

    Taking this show to 80 theatres around the country was an 80th birthday present to himself – it is also a birthday gift to us and is a once in a lifetime experience for us as well.

    Ian McKellen On Stage, is at the Harold Pinter Theatre until 5th January 2020, Book now

  • FILM REVIEW | All Male, All Nude: Johnsons

    FILM REVIEW | All Male, All Nude: Johnsons

    ★★★★ | All Male, All Nude: Johnsons

    Step into the sexy world of male strippers in the new titillating documentary All Male, All Nude: Johnsons

    Johnsons is not the name of one of the strippers – it’s the name of a male strip club in Fort Lauderdale. Well not actually Fort Lauderdale but a community within called Wilton Manors – Americas second gayest city per capita.

    In a follow up to the popular 2017 feature documentary ‘All Male, All Nude,’ director Gerald McCullouch introduces us to the all too hot, sexy, and young male strippers of all nationalities at Johnson’s.

    Owned by Matt Colunga, an award-winning bodybuilder who has been in the male entertainment industry for 23 years, we see that Johnson’s is the perfect place to work if you want to be a male stripper. The strippers can make as much as $500 on a good night – and perhaps even more if they go to the ‘private’ rooms with a customer. But everything here is on the up-and-up, no risqué business takes place here, where Matt really cares for his strippers, even to a point to make them take a breath test before they leave the club after their shifts.

    We meet the adorable hot and sexy Alexander, 26, who spends his days dressed as Spider-Man creating fun for children at kids parties and then spends his nights stripping down to his G-String for gay men, and others including one young man who decided to become a cosmetologist when he decided he did not want to strip anymore.

    Also, there are single fathers and young men putting themselves through college with their stripping income, to entertainers in the adult film world – all sorts of men who are working hard for the money. While the focus in the documentary is not on the customers, it’s them who keep this place going, and packed most nights.

    ‘All Male, All Nude: Johnsons’ is exactly what it says on the tin – it’s sexy, nude and all-male!:)

    On DVD & VOD

  • FILM REVIEW | Judy

    FILM REVIEW | Judy

    ★★★★ | Judy

    Renee Zelwegger is electric as the late, great Judy Garland in the new film Judy.

    Judy is a semi-biographical account of her time in London in winter 1968 where she performed a five-week sold-out show at the venue that was called ‘Talk of the Town.’ The film also traces her life when she became very famous for the film Wizard of Oz, and how it affected not only her career, but also her well-being, her relationships with men, and her overall sanity.

    It’s 1968, and it appears Garland doesn’t have two pennies to rub together (hard to believe a woman of her calibre and celebrity would be in such a position), with two children in tow (the father of the children is Sydney Luft, while Liza Minnelli was a bit older and already on her own), and not a place to call home.

    So Garland is asked to go to London to perform, and it’s an opportunity to make some real money so she can get a home for her and her children, which would put some stability in theirs, and her, lives. But Judy is, to put it mildly, a mess.

    She’s drinks a lot, take pills a lot, and is practically frightened to get on that stage. But when she puts her mind to it, and leaves all the demons behind, she is a tour de force. But she is not consistent and it’s a mystery as to which Judy will appear each day.

    Judy shows us a Judy who was struggling and still looking for a little bit of hope, love and sanity in her final year of life (she died in 1969 of an accidental drug overdose in London).

    Zelwegger perfectly captures Garland’s look, body and voice (yes, it’s actually Zelwegger singing). Zelwegger lost weight for the role, and it’s her best performance to date which could net her an Oscar. The rest of the cast don’t fare as well. While Finn Wittrock is good as her 5th (and last) husband Mickey Deans, Rufus Sewell is a bit dry and boring as Sydney Luft, while Jessie Buckley has a thankless role, and task, as her London minder.

    And while the performances of Zellweger singing are captivating, the scenes of her as a young girl on film sets just don’t seem to ring true (bullying by the studio head – Louis B. Mayer and her minders – are a bit exaggerated). Director Rupert Goold doesn’t quite capture the entire essence of Judy’s life, and time, in London and in her younger years. With this being his second directorial effort, I feel that he just wasn’t quite qualified to take on a film of a woman with so much stardom, of such legendary status, and unfortunately heartbreak.

  • These are the gay/LGBT films you need to catch at this year’s BFI Film Festival

    These are the gay/LGBT films you need to catch at this year’s BFI Film Festival

    The BFI London Film Festival has started and us here at THEGAYUK.com want to highlight the LGBT films that will be shown during the festival. It’s best to book earlier rather than later as some of these films will surely be sold out.

    Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    At the end of the eighteenth century Marianne, a young painter, is commissioned to paint a portrait of a young woman to be used to elicit marriage proposals. Knowing that the woman, Héloïse, has previously refused to sit for portraits as she does not want to be married, Marianne disguises herself as a lady’s maid in order to gain her subject’s trust only to find herself inadvertently falling in love with her. Starring Noémie Merlant and Adèle Haenel.

    And Then we Danced

    Merab has been training from a young age at the National Georgian Ensemble with his dance partner Mary. His world turns upside down when the carefree Irakli arrives and becomes both his strongest rival and desire in this film that is a Swedish-Georgian production. 

    Death Will Come

    Two women are face-to-face with mortality when one of them is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Refusing treatment, they move to a small house in the woods where they rediscover a love lost to routine; all the while death waits outside the cabin’s walls. This Chilean stars Julieta Figueroa and Amparo Noguera. 

    End of the Century

    Two men meet in Barcelona and after spending a day together they realize that they have already met twenty years ago. From Argentina, and with male frontal nudity we are told. 

    Matthias & Maxime (pictured above)

    A kiss between two childhood friends has dramatic repercussions in the eighth film from Xavier Dolan. He also stars – with his character having an ugly scar on his face.

    Walking with Shadows 

    A man has to come to terms with his dark secret and choose between keeping his family or accepting a life of possible loneliness and rejection. Made in Nigeria.

    This is not Berlin

    In the 1980s, an outsider gets invited to a mythical nightclub where he’s unleashed to punk, sexual liberty and drugs. This Mexican film has yet to have a UK release date. 

    Yves Saint Laurent: The Last Collections

    A documentary on Yves Saint-Laurent and the legendary fashion designer’s final show.

    Mystify: Michael Hutchence

    A documentary about the troubled heart and soul of Michael Hutchence, lead singer and songwriter of INXS, and overall wild man who died at the young age of 37. 

    For information on these, and other films at the film festival, and to buy tickets, please go to:

    https://whatson.bfi.org.uk/lff/Online/default.asp

  • FILM REVIEW | Fahrenheit 11/9

    ★★★ |Fahrenheit 11/9

    There’s a lot to take away from Michael Moore’s brand new documentary Fahrenheit 11/9 from the Flint Water Crisis, school gun violence the rise of Trump and how maybe the democrats aren’t as people-friendly as you might hope.

    It’s the day after watching Fahrenheit 11/9 and my mind is still whirling. Michael asks (of Trump’s presidency) at the beginning of the film, “How the fuck did we get here?” and it’s a question many are asking.

    But Moore’s troubling documentary takes us through history lessons and finds a way to link a number of big button issues and it doesn’t quite work, but you’ll be left with an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

    In the two hour and a bit film, Moore manages to squeeze in the water crisis in Flint Michigan, the Parkland School shooting, the Bernie Sander’s vote scandal, the teachers’ strike, President Obama’s undermining of US citizens, Bill Clinton’s republicifcation, The New York Times‘ political bubble and of course, the rise and rise of Donald Trump.

    It’s pretty full-on and you may be left with a sense of foreboding for the future of civilisation, but Moore doesn’t disappoint with the breadth of research undertaken for this documentary.

    Available to stream on Netflix.

  • FILM REVIEW | Hotel Mumbai

    FILM REVIEW | Hotel Mumbai

    ★★★★★ | Hotel Mumbai

    The true story of the Mumbai 2008 terror attacks is told in the gripping film ‘Hotel Mumbai.’

    I guarantee you you won’t exhale until the film is over. ‘Hotel Mumbai’ is heart racing – when 10 members of Lashkar-e-Taiba, an Islamic terrorist organisation based in Pakistan, carried out 12 coordinated shooting and bombing attacks that lasted four days across Mumbai. People were going about their daily business while the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel, which was hit the hardest, was getting ready for another workday. Then bam, 18 terrorists took to the streets of Mumbai and indiscriminately started shooting at people. Hotel Mumbai re-enacts these chains of events and is as realistic as it gets.
    Dev Patel stars as Arjun who works at the hotel as a waiter in order to feed and take care of his young family. Armie Hammer plays David, married to British-Muslim heiress Zahra (Nazanin Boniadi). They, along with a few hundred other people, are trapped in the hotel while terrorists roam the hallways looking for more westerners to kill, and this is after they shot up the train station as well as a cafe killing most of its patrons. These scenes are harrowing – you know what’s coming but don’t really expect it when it does. And when the film moves to the hotel and the terror the people are going through it feels very palpable and very real. While David and Zahra’s nanny (Tilda Cobham-Hervey) hides in a closet in their suite with their newborn baby (the only unrealistic scene in the film as the baby is not quite quiet and it’s strange two of the terrorists don’t hear the baby), many other hotel guests are hiding in several secure pockets in the hotel, not knowing what is going on and why no authorities have entered the hotel to rescue them.
    Directed by Anthony Maras and co-written by Maras and John Collee, ‘Hotel Mumbai’ vividly tells the tragic story when 174 people were murdered, hundreds more wounded, in the worst terror attack ever in India.
  • FILM REVIEW | The Shiny Shrimps

    FILM REVIEW | The Shiny Shrimps

    ★★★★ | The Shiny Shrimps

    A gay water polo team struggles to compete amidst personal dramas on their way to the Gay Games in the fun, camp and hilarious film The Shiny Shrimps.

    In French with English subtitles, and directed by co-directors and co-authors Cédric Le Gallo (a real-life Shrimp) and Maxime Govare, ‘The Shiny Shrimps is a cross between Priscilla Queen of the Desert and Pride, with a road trip film interspersed with lots of melodrama!

    When straight world champion swimmer Matthias Le Goff (Nicolas Gob) makes a homophobic remark on television, he tries to redeem himself, at the direction of the swimming federation, by being tasked to train The Shiny Shrimps – a Parisian gay water polo team (and purely not athletes) who are in the sport purely for the social aspect of it as well as to be able to perform dance routines and dress up in competitions. So Goff has a huge task ahead of him. all the meanwhile trying to impress his young daughter.

    Other men on the team have their own issues; Cédric is married with two kids and his partner says the water polo team is taking him away from his family, while Jean has health issues he’s yet to divulge to the team, and another team member is newly out and is about to have the time of his life. We are too when the Shrimps travel, by bus, to the Gay Games in Croatia.

    It’s a road trip like no other; they camp it up to the extreme while love, and sadly homophobia, comes into play. And once they get to the games they’ll attempt to make their mark in any way they can.

    The Shiny Shrimps is so much fun to watch it’ll make you want to join some sort of sports team to experience what you’ve just seen in the film. And the cast are having lots of fun, with each actor perfectly suited for in roles. The Shiny Shrimps is une joie.

    ‘The Shiny Shrimps’ is out now in UK cinemas

  • FILM REVIEW | Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

    FILM REVIEW | Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

    ★★★★ | One Upon A Time In Hollywood

    Brad Pitt star in Columbia Pictures “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”

    Nutshell – Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio together for almost three hours and one of them goes shirtless… not enough? Well, this is Quentin Tarantino’s 9th and apparently, his penultimate movie a homage to the last Golden days of Hollywood, set in 1969 with the Manson murders of Sharon Tate & friends washing around in the background. Two hours of fantastically nostalgic beautiful cinematography & set dressing followed by some standard Tarantino blood lust at the denouement making it possibly the directors weirdest film to date. Leo is a fading movie star and Pitt is his stuntman. The former lives in the Hollywood Hills right next to a house just let to Mr Polanski and Ms Tate,

    Running Time – 161 Minutes so bring a cushion – Cert – 18, and yes you get plenty of language and violence for your buck.

    Tagline – ‘The 9th Film From Quentin Tarantino’ yes that is what they are going with to get you through the doors.

    The Gay UK Factor – The two leading men are and have always been gay icons and eye candy ever since we saw the unknown Brad’s abs in Thelma & Louise where he was playing an escort (we should be so lucky) and DiCaprio ‘s hair was wafting in the wind of a certain sinking ship. In many ways, they have never looked fitter than they do in this film and the camera lingers on every part of their body with a gorgeous soft glow throughout especially their (and everyone’s else feet) which has always been a kink of QT’s so heaven for foot fetishists everywhere. Brad Pitt has an elongated shirtless scene which is a distinct highlight and later LDC jumps into the pool to compete for you masturbatory fantasies.

    Cast – Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie (Hugely underused), Emile Hersh, Dakota Fanning plus cameos from Bruce Dern, Al Pacino & Damian Lewis and the very sexy hunks that are Luke Perry & Timothy Olyphant.

    Key Player – This is the writer, director & co-producer show and if you like QT then you have been waiting for his new movie for a while, if not a fan then the weird structure here may not convert you. It is definitely his most beautiful but is it lazy, overlong or indulgent… probably a bit of both.

    Budget – $90 Million and you often wonder how he produces such a fantastic 1969 look right throughout the film so cheaply, simply it looks a lot more expensive. QT films always make money (except the niche Jackie Brown) and at double the cost at the Box Office already then this is a hit but will it out gross Pulp Fiction and Django Unchained we think that running time and confusing word of mouth may halt it?

    Best Bit 1.28 mins; A very tense and languid confrontation between Pitt’s stunt man character and some of the Manson families followers on their derelict ranch home. As this film is not factual you don’t really know where this or other scenes are going and it is all the better for that. Rewriting history could be not big and not clever but it sure works here.

    Worst Bit – 0.40 mins; The Sharon Tate and Roman Polanski scenes are a bit undercooked and feel tacked on although they are of course vital to the film. Sharon has a long drawn out visit to a cinema to see a movie she is starring in which is certainly where the editor’s scissors should have started to maybe bring this marathon movie down under two hours.

    Little Secret – This maybe QT’s ‘9th film’ according to publicity but in fact, he has 22 directing credits and even more writing credits at 30… he has acted in 37 movies but it is difficult to remember any of them as he is not gonna give Daniel Day-Lewis a run for his money. Most of his films are 18 Certificate including this one.

    We checked the most successful 18 movies in History and found that there is only one ‘Horror’ film in the top 20 (Hannibal) the rest are made up of films there sometimes for violence but most commonly for swearing and the number one 18 Cert adult film of all time surprisingly is The Wolf Of Wall Street… no sex, no violence, no horror just Leo DiCaprio’s filthy mouth did his Mum not wash it out with soap enough when he was young.

    Further Viewing – Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, The Hateful 8, Kill Bill 1 and 2, Inglorious Bastards, Django Unchained you get the idea plus anything by Robert Rodriguez or Chris Nolan, Helter Skelter, The Manson family, The Black Dahlia, Hollywoodland and in fact any film that glorifies Hollywood’s past from Sunset Boulevard right through to La La Land.

    Any Good – Is it Tarantino’s best? No, but it is certainly way ahead of most other movies and a pleasant change to endless sequels and instantly recognisable blockbuster fare. In one word this is Art and it is not about making money although it will do that. Its structure is strange the longest build-up in cinema history slowly VERY SLOWLY introducing us to all its characters as they head into the last 30-minute typical Tarantinoesque showdown which is a major shot to the gut when the style change finally arrives.

    This reviewer is not the biggest QT fan but we enjoyed it more than any of the other eight but it is not for everyone as we said at the top this film is weird. If he directs another film it will be a Star Trek of all things and we hope he does as we cannot wait to see what he makes of a sci-fi franchise but we bet Kirk calls Spock a fucking big-eared c..t at some point as they get beamed up.

    Rating – 74/100

  • FILM REVIEW | Fast the Furious Hobbs and Shaw

    ★★★★ | FAST & FURIOUS : HOBBS & SHAW

    Nutshell – Two huge gay icons get their own spin-off (sort of) from the mega Successful F&F franchise. The cop and villain from the last four movies Misters Johnson & Statham have to chase the latest MacGuffin world killing virus through London, Russia and The South Seas in the biggest stunts of the year.

    Incredible action, but with these two highly likeable stars you get so much comedy to balance it out often aimed at The Stath’s height or The Rocks muscles and everything is a fun competition between these two even bashing heads.

    Running Time – 137 Minutes – Cert PG-12A.

    Tagline – ‘One is fast & the other is Furious but there is a new protagonist in town’

    The Gay UK Factor – With two of the fittest men in movies together for their own extended films this is a gay guy into muscle’s wet dream and the film they have been waiting for all year.

    The eternal mano et-mano posturing throughout here is reminiscent of every bit of gym or locker room banter you have ever heard and they do everything together except fuck. The Rock even goes shirtless for an extended Haka scene and the Stath jokes about him losing his baby oil…

    It could not get any queerer if the stars of Rocketman, Bohemian Rhapsody and Mamma Mia turned up for a lip-sync battle mid car chase.

    Idris Elba also goes shirtless too more than once as do many of the hot macho henchmen.

    Cast – Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Jason Statham, Idris Elba on bad guy duties & Vanessa Kirby as the female lead and then we have a new thing in F&F land endless cameos from Helen Mirren, Rob Delaney, Kevin Hart, Ryan Reynolds, etc etc.

    Key Player – This is the perfect double act. The producers saw the chemistry between these two guys in The Fast & The Furious and greenlit this new strand especially as The Rock and Vin Diesel were at loggerheads constantly so a new direction was needed. They are both the ultimate believable action heroes rather than say short arse Tom cruise who both have perfect comic timing that would get them a slot on Live At The Apollo any day of the week.

    Budget – $200 Million and it is all up there on the screen with one massive gravity-defying set piece after another. Worldwide Box office for the first week was 180 Mil and that was without the lucrative Chinese market where this series really cleans up. This is a box office bonus bonanza for Universal Studios being their 5th biggest opening of all time (And most of them are previous entries in this saga) it is also the biggest opening ever of both these two megastars.

    Best Bit – 1.16 mins; There is a tremendous car/bike chase through the busy packed streets of London’s Square mile early on but all the best bits come from the one-liners and they peak in a tremendous corridor fight scene where the stars wordplay hugely tops the great martial arts action with the endless gun-toting goons.

    Worst Bit – 0.28 mins; Jason Statham is 52 years old whilst Vanessa Kirby is 31yo but looks 10 years younger and here we are supposed to believe that they are brother and Sister & that she is an unstoppable fighting machine. It requires more suspension of disbelief and the strangest casting since a tank top wearing Denise Richards was cast as Dr Christmas Jones ‘a nuclear expert’ in James Bond’s The World Is Nor Enough.

    Little Secret – With the exception of the tropical climax and the studio scenes this film is shot entirely on location in the UK from Glasgow to The City Of London via High Wycombe and part of the fun is spotting the many locations you may know well… even the supposed many Russian set scenes are filmed across our fair isle.

    When this was greenlit it so annoyed Vin Diesel that he cut some of Johnson’s scenes in the last F&F film as he was exec producer and then failed to turn up for a days work leaving over 1,000 crew members idle. Idris Elba refused to say a scripted line for his character, calling himself “the black James Bond”. He instead used the phrase “black Superman” not to look too needy that he wanted the 007 job.

    Further Viewing – Fast & Furious 1-8, Need For Speed, The Cannonball Run, All Mission Impossibles, Spy, I Spy, and any mismatched buddy film from The Lethal Weapons to The Rush Hours, Bad Boys, Midnight Run & The 48 Hours movies not Wild Wild West though or anything with the words Jay & Silent Bob in them..

    Any Good – You know what you are getting here and there are no surprises but what you do get is another great chapter if you like this sort of thing and it seems everyone from 11-61yo does judging by its receipts. The surprise is the humour which really works and gives a great 80’s hit movie feel to it. The action is on par but maybe no real wow moment as in previous chapters but this is still great fun and the long-running time flies by.

    Whether this franchise goes down the Hobbs & Shaw route or back to the Vin Diesel ‘It’s all about family’ set-up time will tell but this is now the third longest-running franchise in history just passing Harry Potter and you would not bet on this overtaking Star Wars very soon.

    77/100