★★★★★ | Myra Dubois: We Wish You A Myra Christmas, London

It’s Christmas at the Soho Theatre in the Myra Dubois: We Wish You A Myra Christmas show.


It’s Christmas at the Soho Theatre in the Myra Dubois: We Wish You A Myra Christmas show.


Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake beautifully reimagines the traditional and well- loved ballet. Bringing the story into modern, regal times, it tells the story of The Prince who struggles with the repression of his life, but this changes when he meets The Swan, a powerful yet tender figure who offers comfort, solace and the belonging that The Prince longs for. But as The Prince struggles with his relationship with his icy mother, things start to unravel as a familiar looking stranger attends the Royal Ball.
Bourne’s signature contemporary twist on the classic ballet is simply outstanding and leads to a beautiful, moving and breath-taking piece of theatre. This version is perhaps best known for using an all-male ensemble for the bevy of swans, but whilst there is no denying the spectacular and dramatic impact of that, there are so many other elements which elevate this piece of dance to the dizzying heights it reaches. From the almost monochrome opening scenes in the palatial bedchamber to the vibrant explosion of colour in the Swank Bar, the modern twists provided by Bourne culminate in a fresh and vivacious production which constantly surprises and delights in equal measures
Utilising his flawless cast, Bourne’s choreography flows back and forth from the frenetic to the tender and from the comedic to the dramatic; infusing many different styles of dance seamlessly with the traditional Tchaikovsky score. Whilst the replacing of the female swans with a male ensemble brings with it a sensual homoeroticism to the piece, it also provides for a beautifully told love story between two men, something seldom seen in dance theatre.
Both Will Bozier as The Swan and Dominic North as The Prince simply excelled in their lead performances, with Bozier’s strength and fierceness being beautifully counterbalanced by North’s vulnerability and yearning. Equally Katrina Lyndon was utterly delightful as The Girlfriend, but it seems slightly unfair to single out any dancer from an ensemble who universally oozed such talent and charisma.
From the opening scenes to the terrifying and tearful finale, this show has everything to recommend it including humour, style, spectacle, originality and genuine emotion; and as the curtain fell, I could have happily had them reset the stage and start again. As a piece of theatre, Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake is simply sublime.
Swan Lake is rounding off its national tour at Sheffield Theatres, so don’t miss your last chance to see this magnificent production. Matthew Bourne’s New Adventures are also currently touring his new ballet, Romeo and Juliet, and his award winning The Red Shoes will be returning for another UK tour commencing in November 2019.

Ute
Where were you when Princess Di died?
Shocked, indifferent or simply unborn then? Like the Twin Towers, Di’s death instantly branded itself into cultural awareness worldwide, becoming a cultural landmark of collective disbelief. Still – if not quite on such an exalted plane – artistic earthquakes also create an enduring, seismic blip in public adoration and memorable regard. But forget the pointlessly premature – if still shocking – deaths of musical prodigies Prince, Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson; they’re the negative downside of cultural lightning brilliantly caught in a bottle. Ah, but don’t despair – there’s always light in the darkness, a Dumbledore to every Voldemort! Why, given a convenient TARDIS like every cosy, pansexual Time Lord, who wouldn’t want to witness Maria Callas, Judy Garland and Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust shows at their iconic, history-making peak?
Still, those moments, if rare, continue to persist as thrilling possibilities. And culturally – right here and right now – we’re incandescently privileged to witness Ute Lemper’s totally game-changing Rendezvous With Marlene. The work of a simply superlative artist at the top of her game, it’s a fearless exploration of Dietrich’s doubts, regrets and shockingly raw humanity.
Like the finest, vintage Krug champagne – with all its’ attendant depth, resonance and complexity of flavour – Rendezvous has intensely benefitted from its’ long, thirty-year gestation in Ute’s mind.
While playing Sally Bowles in a stage version of Cabaret in Dusseldorf back in 1992 when she was 24, Ute wrote a postcard to the 88-year-old Dietrich apologising for the constant barrage of spurious comparisons lazy journalists were drawing between the two artists. To call those journalists merely misguided would be ridiculously kind; they were wildly inaccurate. Where Dietrich was breezily, bisexually promiscuous, Ute was married with children; where Dietrich barely strayed beyond performing a narrow repertoire of expected classics, Ute’s range – including tackling songs by Nick Cave and Tom Waits – was eclecticism personified; and finally, while Dietrich stage’s act and barely-passable ‘singing’ remained essentially static and she explores no other creative pathways privately, Ute was a first-class chanteuse, actress and dancer, painting and song-writing in her precious downtime.
Very different women, then, despite the most blatantly obvious, shared physical characteristics; blonde hair and shapely bodies. Still, both had a shrewd grasp of the human impact of restrictive politics – as in Dietrich’s profound disgust towards the Nazis, while Ute – pleasingly in an era of blanket, Trump idiocies – comes across as an electrifying, pro-choice Valkyrie at the Arcola, sharing Dietrich’s passion for strong, female self-determinism.

Framed as a post-modern metafiction – Ute switching characters back and forth between herself and Dietrich, and exploring Dietrich’s memories in character en route – Rendezvous is almost an act of secular worship in performing, spontaneously eliciting an aura of hushed, quasi-religious devotion from the audience. Faultlessly exhibiting the high-functioning playfulness of an Alpha-class empath, Ute is so sensitive to nuance she virtually leads the audience en mass to the emotional mountaintops of Dietrich’s revelations. Throughout, Ute exhibits two exceptional qualities wholly lacking from the frenzied, truncated idiocy that passes as modern stage direction; dignity and restraint.
Surely a reigning role-model of liquid-boned finesse, Ute’s slightest, rippling gesture speaks emotional volumes, and she has the incalculable, expressive gift of making even the most chronically over-exposed lyrics imaginable –Blowing In The Wind, anyone? – resonate with the shocking, public poignancy of Christine Blasey Ford testimony against the vile Brett Kavanaugh.
A sheer master-class in memorial intimacy, stagecraft and the taut, emotional fury of suppressed pain and regret, Rendezvous With Marlene is an astounding instance of spiritual ventriloquism, of one acclaimed performer so prepared to relinquish egotism she’ll voluntarily become the mouthpiece of another.
Utterly in tune with our present, diversity zeitgeist, Ute’s tribute is not only pansexual, acknowledging Marlene’s female and male lovers, but also – going even further than Russell T. Davies’ Years and Years – transageist, as a youthful, ebullient Ute assumes the serene gravitas of Dietrich herself. Masterly? Of course; and – by a huge margin – simply the finest act of sustained, emotional intensity and fearless self-revelation I’ve ever seen. Ute – like Bowie, Callas and Garland before her – is in an unprecedented class of her own.

We’d love for you to help us grow this historical archive of London’s lost gay scene. If you’ve got photos or memories of any of the venues you’d like to share please use the comment section below and we’ll add them right here.
A lesbian bar in Islington off the Essex Road, most likely closed at the end of the 90s.
A reader shares, “. Lesbian bar on Rotherfield St just off Essex Road N1 – when That area was full of gays bars. After about a year of trying to remember the name someone finally came up with it last night! The Duke of Clarence. It deserves to be remembered purely because it existed in Islington when it was THE gay place to be”
Can you add more description or pictures? Add them at the bottom of the page in the comment section.
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But what really makes a night at a drag show really stand out from the crowd? Perhaps the biggest global events will answer that question. Here are five shows that you simply cannot miss.
If one TV show seeped beyond the reaches of the LGBT community to earn a wider audience, it’s RuPaul’s Drag Race. A reality show designed to find the best drag artist around, it even drew a grudging approval from a host of straight viewers.
The good news for all is that the Drag Race is on tour and in 2019, it’s a global phenomenon. Hosted by Michelle Visage under the title of Werq the World, all of your favourite superstars from the show are here. The event takes in North America, Europe, Latin America, Asia and Australia so there really is no escape from the Drag Race phenomenon and while the Tour is already underway, it runs right through to the end of 2019 with tickets left for all remaining shows.
Michelle Visage will be your host for the live show and will introduce such great acts as Detox, Bob, Asia. Peppermint and Shangela to name just five of the cast. For fans of the TV show, this is not to be missed. Even if RuPaul’s Drag Race has skipped your radar, this is a night of pure fun that has to be seen to be believed.
Austin Drag Festival is a fixed event that doesn’t go out on tour – but it’s one of the longer-established events on the drag circuit. For those in the vicinity or for fans who want to make a special trip, it’s well worth the expense.
Held across four days in November, this event attracts hundreds of drag artists from all over the world and it boasts over 400 performances across the weekend. Meet and greets are available with your favourite stars while there is a drag market and even a workshop where you can learn the ropes and become a top drag act yourself.
If your appetite has been whetted by the Austin Drag Festival, the official website offers information on flights and accommodation to make this the most memorable of weekends for fans of drag.
Some of the greatest drag events across the world are held in some exotic locations across far-flung corners of the globe, but for those who are confined to barracks between now and the end of the year, there is a way to enjoy your favourite drag artists in most LGBT cities – at drag queen bingo.
As drag events go, drag queen bingo perhaps an unlikely pairing in a game that is thought of more as a pastime for straight ladies over a certain age. The original concept of Drag Queen Bingo was dreamt up by Judy Werle in Seattle in the 1990s. It was a fun way for the early LGBT community to get together to play and to raise money for the AIDS charity Chicken Soup Brigade at the same time.
While the game remains popular in the US, drag queen bingo is now being held in Amsterdam, London and Berlin. It’s like conventional bingo but with a drag caller and a whole feast of fun so get dressed and look forward to a great night out. Intrigued? Head over to Wink Bingo to learn more about some of the best drag bingo events.
The festive season is the perfect time to celebrate all things relating to drag artists and events and Christmas Queens is your perfect partner. This is predominantly a UK event which has been held over the holiday season for a number of years and it tours up and down the country. There is, however, a clear focus on towns and cities with a strong LGBT community including sunny and welcoming Brighton down on the South Coast.
The show largely features the best artists from the UK but there are appearances from overseas acts, too. The festive theme is carried on throughout the performance with sketches and songs including We Three Queens and a unique LGBT friendly look at Let It Snow.
Since its launch, Christmas Queens has grown steadily in size and the 2018 tour will take in 10 dates in the UK before crossing overseas and adding a further six shows across Europe from Amsterdam to Helsinki.
Tickets are widely available from online sources but if you can’t get along, don’t worry because the official site’s webstore has a host of merchandise including CDs and downloads.
For so long, Berlin has been a mecca for drag queens, as one look at David Bowie’s music video for Boys Keep Swinging can demonstrate. Watch the video and you’ll see the Thin White Duke dressed as drag queens of various vintages. The drag scene in Germany’s capital preceded Bowie and his legacy lives on, partly in the crazy Partysane event.
In many ways, this event could be the decadent Berlin of Cabaret, and there is certainly a harder edge to the Partysane shows. The host, Gloria Viagra, is the moustache-toting temptress and this is an event that combines the best in drag entertainment with a traditional club night featuring some of the hottest DJs in town.
Not able to get to Berlin? Don’t worry – the Partysane roadshow goes on tour. In 2014, it made its London debut at the Dalston Superstore and it has been gradually making its way around Europe. This is not always a regular show on the annual drag circuit so keep a close eye out for future dates. Even if the event isn’t on the forthcoming calendar then don’t worry as you are sure to find the iconic Gloria Viagra, dubbed as the Empire State Building of the Berlin scene, in one of the many drag clubs around the city.


One of the best episodes so far, with a good story-line and a great challenge. Oh, and lots of Pit Crew!! Ah, and an appearance of Delta Work! You know: classic Drag Race!
It was also home of a first: namely Vanjie finally winning a challenge. Okay, a mini challenge, but still.
The win meant she could select her team for this weeks main challenge: a drag magic show!!
Sadly, she didn’t use this position to her advantage, as the team she selected … well, let’s just say, sadly, it didn’t do too well. This is sad, as a team consisting out of the more vocal queens of the show (Vanjie, Silky, A’keria and Yvie) could have worked.
The main reason as to why this happened is soon clear as during creating and rehearsing their show the team doesn’t seem to listen to each other (Silky even falls asleep) and Vanjie is seen trying to please everyone and feeling uncomfortable. Then they have to redo it all again as Team Da Black Magic as they call themselves are told their material is too blue for family VH1 viewing. Despite performing reasonably well, the poor girls didn’t stand a chance.
The other team (The Mighty Tucks) consisting of Nina, Brooke Lynn and Shuga Cain immediately seems prepared and ready: working on a full back story, a naughty but suitable for family script and an almost professional act. The moment they start you feel as if you’re watching a group of queens who’ve been doing this for years. They could basically tour this act!!
It is clear that they are this weeks winners.
After a strong Kaftan based Runway the judges start their critique. It’s easy: They loved The Mighty Tucks and disliked Da Black Magic. Nina rightfully wins this week while Yvie and Silky are especially singled out for respectively their stage presence and their shocking padding, We think we know who will be in the bottom two.
But … there is a twist: the winning team doesn’t win as a team, with Shuga Cain singled out as a week link and put in the sing of. This is very odd as Shuga proved herself a strong and funny team member and should not have been part of the bottom two.
As team leader of Da Black Magic it is Vanjie who ends up as second bottom two member and turns out a very strong lip sync.
It is goodbye to Brooke Lynn.
Soon after Ru appeared at the MET gala and, sadly her outfit wasn’t to everyone’s taste and caused an absolute storm on the internet with some people actually sending death threats. Now I know fashion and glamour is a serious subject to many, but really?!!
Ru later explained her decision not to wear drag to Stephen Colbert: she had been lead to believe there would be hundreds of drag queens and had opted to stand out in a different way. To her this outfit was camp. It is a shame, as this being the year drag queens were finally invited and the theme being camp it could have been the perfect year for Ru to once again make history.
Soon, though, the MET controversy was forgotten as Ru surprised Anne Hathaway live on TV and her response was … interesting to say the least.
Before that, though there was a return of the “reading and slapping” challenge, which Ru left entirely in the hands of the girls, after he accidentally hit Asia for real last year.
The girls take full advantage of their chance to hit their colleagues and release some pent up energy.
Brooke Lynn is the best, using her ballet skills to amp up her comedy, and rightfully won.
Then the eliminated queens return for a challenge (and a fight.) They are to be made over by the still standing queens. As usual “family resemblance” is the key. Brooke Lynn gets the honor of pairing up the queen with their future sister and on the whole her pairings could work. The only problem seems to be the pairing of Silky and Soju and this played out rather painfully on screen. Feighning friendlyness during the challenge Silky madfe it rather clear in her backstage chat that she didn’t care for Soju as a partner at all. Seeing Soju working hard to do anything to please and help Silky made you feel for her. Come on, the girl tried to work in heels for you despite it hurting and let you work on her face with a sharpy!!
Meanwhile a few fights about wigs and opinions broke out. But considering all that happened online between the season 11 queens during this seasons broadcast we can expect far worse during the reunion!!
Judging from what we are shown in the episode the people setting themselves up for fail are Silky and Nina. Silky because she and Soju are just not in that “sisterly vibe” zone as all the other and Nina because, even though her her idea is wonderful: The Rainbow Flag and the Transgender Flag embracing each other, the outfits do not look alike. This is sad because Nina’s idea and look would have been a winner in a “Pride” challenge, but for a twin look it is just not working.
This all plays out as expected.
Meanwhile Vanjie is followed throughout the episode and from what we see and hear we’re certain: this will finally be Vanjie’s week. She’s had such a rough time after being brought back from last season. Now, finally her anxiety and hard work will be validated: Vanjie will get her win AT LAST!!
Come decision time, though, things turn confusing. The runway and judges critiques made it clear: clearly this will be a redemption win for Vanjie. She made Ariel into a virtual twin, so much so you can’t even spot the difference between them at times. This is actual family resemblance!! Adding to this: the look was gorgeous.
Not that Brooke Lynn didn’t turn it out, but Vanjie’s work was perfection. Seeing the hopeful expectation on Vanjie’s face turn to heartbreak after being denied a win yet again was sad.
Thankfully Brooke Lynn said she would share her reward (a holiday for two) with her.
Then the lip-sync: Nina vs Silky. A lot of accusations have been thrown towards Rupaul for putting Nina in the bottom two, but it was clear that though her idea was beautiful, the execution just didn’t look right for this challenge. Then the performance itself: seriously? Silky, after ten weeks of bigging herself up turns out with this? Nina clearly was the best one here performance wise, though only by a small margin.
The only reason I can see for keeping Silky might be because, at the time, production thought she would be a fan favorite and the face she had thought up a reveal (a small and confusing one, but still) and attempted to use the entire space and tried a split? Yes, grasping at straws here.
Meh indeed …
So, this week the finale was recorded, taking six hours in total. Queens old and new walked the red carpet and later the runway. You can see what this seasons queens wore on this Drag Race Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/rupaulsdragrace/?hl=en
To keep the mystery two exciting crownings were recorded. Soon we will find out which one will be shown when we the audience help Ru decide the official winner. Shockingly WOW had already leaked the official top four earlier this week in their recording announcements, rest assured if you missed it I will not spoil it for you.
There was some drama with two audience members being evicted for posting live pictures and updates to social media. Having seen some I can reveal one important thing: this time Ru looks absolutely gorgeous!!


In Eurovision, more than 40 countries compete to win votes for the best song! When the competition first started in 1956, it was exclusive to European countries and only seven nations participated. Since then, the rules have relaxed – so much so that even Australia is in.
Today Eurovision is far from being just a song contest. It’s about music but it’s equally about putting on a show and creating a buzz. Among Eurovision winners is, for example, a group of monsters.
Eurovision is considered one of the world’s longest running and most-watched reality television franchises, attracting up to 600 million viewers every year. In the last two decades, it has consistently ranked among the most-watched live entertainment TV broadcasts worldwide, outside of sporting events. The Super Bowl is peanuts compared to Eurovision!
It’s hard to say why Eurovision is so popular. It has a strong fan base but most viewers are passionate about it only once a year, and some just love to hate it. William Lee Adams, a Eurovision blogger and YouTuber, describes Eurovision as a combination of “figure skating, beauty pageants, and singing competitions”. What’s not to love!
The participating countries. For years, each country ranked other countries’ performances awarding them points from 1 to 12, excluding 9 and 11. Each country still awards the same number of points, but two sets of them; one from a national jury and the other from national televoting. So the top points can be anything between 12 and 24 points.
This all happens live, and if you have no idea how the voting works, then it’s like watching a lecture on nuclear physics. On top of that, the voting takes place when it’s way past bedtime (if you watch it in Russia anyway).
Yes; but they weren’t particularly well known when they did. ABBA won in 1974 with “Waterloo” and made their international breakthrough shortly after. Few people know that the group had released “Ring Ring” a year before – they were never chosen to represent Sweden in Eurovision with the song but they did top the charts across Europe and South Africa.
Céline Dion won Eurovision with “Ne partez pas sans moi”, representing Switzerland in 1988, although she is Canadian. Anyone can represent any country in Eurovision, and anyone can write the song, regardless of their nationality.
Ireland has won Eurovision seven times which is more than any other country, but looking at the distribution of ‘maximum points’ votes instead of wins, the UK’s entries have been the most successful in the song contest’s final history.
According to Casumo’s findings, however, things might be about to change. Sweden is a close second for both the number of wins and distribution of ‘maximum points’ votes. Given the Scandinavian country’s recent strong track record – 10 top 5 positions since 2000 – Ireland and the UK have no reason to be complacent.

Oh yes. This is why the European Broadcasting Union introduced national juries to balance the results from televoting in each country. Some people argue that the juries are just as corrupt as televoting, which is influenced not only by sympathies and shared cultural ties between countries, but also the movement of people from one country to another. There is, for example, a significant Greek population in Cyprus and Finnish population in Sweden.
Casumo found out which countries have given their ‘maximum points’ vote to the same country the most frequently over the years. Number one was Cyprus, who gave a ‘maximum points’ vote to Greece as many as 22 times (37% of the time the country has been eligible to vote Greece).
Currently, Duncan Laurence of the Netherlands is considered a frontrunner, but Russia’s Sergey Lazarev and Italy’s Mahmood follow close behind – all quite conventional pop tunes. One thing to keep an eye on is who each country gives their ‘maximum points’ vote to. The UK has backed the eventual competition winner by awarding them the ‘maximum points’ vote on 25 occasions. Latvia and Australia have backed the winner most regularly – in 50% of the finals they’ve been eligible to vote in.
Romania and Azerbaijan, however, have never guessed the winner correctly…
The contest is organised by the national public broadcaster of the country that won the year before. Last year Israel’s Netta Barzilai won, so Israel is this year’s host nation. The European Broadcasting Union supports and supervises the work of the host broadcaster, so the contest looks pretty much the same every year: big, shiny and extravagant.
In the 1990s, Ireland hosted Eurovision four times in just five years. What the nation lost in organising costs, it certainly gained in visibility!


Figen Murray, the mother of Martyn Hett, who lost his life in the 2017 Manchester Arena bomb, will address school pupils at The Lowry following a performance of #BeMoreMartyn: The Boy with the Deirdre Tattoo.
The play, which begins rehearsals this week, takes its dialogue from interviews with eight of Martyn’s closest friends. Created by Adam Zane and Mike Lee of Hope Theatre Company the script takes audiences on a journey through Martyn’s friendships and celebrating some of his most popular online videos.
#BeMoreMartyn: The Boy with the Deirdre Tattoo opens at London’s Pleasance theatre on Tuesday 21st May and will mark the second anniversary of the attack the following day with a one-minute round of applause.
Talking about the play, Hope Theatre Company’s Artistic Director, Adam Zane commented:
“Martyn’s family have been overwhelmingly supportive of the project from the very beginning, they put us in touch with the eight incredible friends that audiences get to know throughout the production. After hours of interviews with them, we are in awe of how Martyn transformed people.
“It feels fitting that we commemorate the anniversary of the attack with a round of applause for Martyn and the other 21 people who lost their lives that day. Audiences will learn that Martyn wasn’t a quiet or shy person and so a round of applause seemed appropriate over the traditional silence.” He added.
Following the run in London the production will tour to Brighton Fringe, Sheffield and Newcastle before closing at The Lowry in Salford. The free school’s performance has been arranged in conjunction with The Lowry and will allow the pupils in attendance to ask Mrs Murray questions once the performance has concluded.
Commenting on the production Figen said:
“As Martyn’s mum I am delighted to see that #BeMoreMartyn is coming back to Greater Manchester after being on tour. I feel very honoured that Mike and Adam have asked me to come and meet around 400 schoolchildren who are coming to watch the show. This is a show about friendship and loyalty, living life to the max and about what is really important in life, namely the people we love and value.
“There will be a post-show discussion which will enable me to answer any questions the children may have about Martyn and why the play is so important. Since Martyn’s death I visit a lot of schools, colleges and universities and talk to young people about kindness, forgiveness, stronger communities and that they can take ownership for a better future if they set their mind to it.” She concluded.
The show will tour in London, Brighton, Newcastle, Sheffield and Salford.


1) After World War 2 it was decided that something was needed to bring Europe together again. The first of the 63 contests was in 1956 adapted from the San Remo Music festival which started five years earlier in ’51. The UK joined the contest in 1957.
2) Originally countries had two songs in each year’s contest.
3) It has regularly allowed in countries outside of Europe including Israel, Cyprus, Armenia even Morocco and most recently Australia. Also, countries only part in Europe such as Turkey, Russia, Georgia and Azerbaijan have been included. Tunisia withdrew and both Egypt and Libya have been invited but as yet have not taken part.
4) If Australia does ever win (It has come second) they will not host the following year as it will be co-hosted in Europe due to the cost to the other entrants.
5) The tradition of the previous year’s winning country hosting the next event has only been broken five times – every time due to the cost of running Eurovision. Four times the United Kingdom took on the extra host duties for Netherlands, France, Monaco and Luxembourg. The Dutch also took it on once for Israel.
6) Songs could be sung in any language up until 1977 when it was changed too only be in their native tongue. This is of course three years after Swedish entry Abba won singing in English. If the rules had been changed earlier they may not have won and therefore no “Dancing Queen”, No Theresa May Stage Dancing, No Musical, No Mamma Mia Movies, no Chess etc.
7) “Waterloo” was Abba’s third attempt at Eurovision the first two times they never made it past the Swedish heat most notably not getting picked for what has become there well-known tune ‘Ring Ring’ which did sell Internationally and bigger than the chosen song.
8) In 1974 Abba’s winning year the halftime show was carried out by the biggest selling singles artist of the Year ‘The Wombles’ there is no record as to what Europe thought of that. It was also the only year where all Top 4 songs made the UK charts -“Waterloo” at number one, Gigliotti Cinquetti’s “Go” (8), Mouth & MacNeils’ “I see A Star” (8) and the British entry “Long Live Love” by Olivia Newton-John just four years before she became “Hopelessly Devoted” To John Travolta and Grease. The national language thing was dropped again in ’99.
9) Countries can use singers of any nationality, of course, Both Olivia and Gina G are Australian, Cliff was born in India, Katrina & The Waves America and indeed British artists have tried to sing for other countries too such as DJ Daz Sampson.
10) The UK has, of course, won five times but they have come runner up a whopping 15 other times twice by just one point namely Scott Fitzgerald to Celine Dion and “Congratulations” by Cliff to some Spanish nonsense called “La La La”. Then it’s a massive jump down to 4 times runner up for each of Ireland, Germany and Spain. It is even tougher on little Malta who has come second twice and third twice but has never won.
11) Each act is allowed a maximum of six performers on stage and no live animals. The order is not done as many think by ballot but it is decided by the producers so as songs which sound similar are not next to each other. Songs are balloted either into part one or part two of the show that is the only element of chance
12) Miss Dion representing Switzerland stormed to the trophy but it was not her breakthrough as it was four years before she had her first international hit with “Where Does My Heart Beat Now” & a clear decade before Titanic.
13) Abba, of course, took over the world as the most successful act to come from Eurovision but “Waterloo” only made it to number 6 in the States and they only had 4 more Top 10 songs there all with years in between and massively outsold by other European stars such as Aha, Nena, the Singing Nun and Roxette.
14) The biggest selling Eurovision song ever is in fact Brotherhood Of Man’s “Save Your Kisses For Me” it was also the most popular ever with all juries. It charted in every territory (which Abba didn’t) and was the first to get a Platinum disc which “Waterloo” also did not achieve. The poorest selling winner was Marie N’s 2002 trophy grabber which charted absolutely nowhere.
15) The first 19 years of the contest was always won by soloists (with one Duo). In 1974 Abba became the first group to win and ushered in the ‘Group era’ followed immediately by Teach-In, Brotherhood Of Man and Bucks Fizz.
16) Famously in 1969, there was a 4-way draw with the lowest point win ever just 18. Lulu with “Boom Bang a Bang” was one of the quartet but it was the only one that became an International hit. The system was changed thereafter to take into account the number of 12 or 10 points etc but there has only been one other draw since decided this way in 1991 when France and Sweden tied. In 1969 it took 18 points to win but in 2017 it took an incredible 758 points to get the same trophy.
17) Twenty Four countries have never won so come on Ireland share it around a bit. Two of the Irish wins were by Johnny Logan for “What’s Another Year” & “Hold Me Now” but he did not stop there, winning again in ’92 as the writer of “Why Me”. Three people have won the contest twice only Johnny has a hat trick. San Marino’s highest position ever was 24th
18) In 2016 35 of the 41 entries were sung in English yet they still won’t vote for us. Of the last 20 wins, 16 have been in English and the all-time score to date across the 63 contests are 32 wins in English to 37 wins for every other European language put together.
19) Nicole was Germany’s biggest winner with “A Little Peace” in ’82. She wowed the audience at the reprise by singing every part of the song in a different European language it went on to sell very well right across the Continent.
20) The current system is 50% the public and 50% the juries which is very controversial; in 2016 Russia won the Juries over and Australia won the public but the win was given to the Ukraine – the public is always more responsive to politics than the juries. The UK entry in 2015 by Lucie Jones came 10th with the juries but an almost last with the public vote which was pure politics in action.
21) Cheryl Baker tried for Eurovision three times coming second in the UK heat to Brotherhood Of Man in ’76, two years later representing the UK as part of CoCo with Bad Old days and another two years on in 1980 as part of Bucks Fizz with the incredible “Making Your Mind Up”.
22) CoCo was the first UK act not to finish in the Top 10, unfortunately, they were not the last Hey Gemini? Since the Millennium we have only been in the Top 10 twice namely with former Liberty X star Jessica Garlick’s “Come Back” and the future Sugababe Jade Ewen with a song especially written by the two biggest selling non-performing songwriters in history Andrew Lloyd Weber & Diane Warren together and we still did not win.
23) The likes of Baccara, Jedward, Tatu etc have all been unsuccessful finalists and so have British number one superstars like Blue, Bonnie Tyler, The Shadows, Black Lace and Englebert. UK runners up have included Sonia, Michael Ball, Cliff & The Shadows (Not Together)
24) Two losing songs have topped the UK charts – Cliff’s “Congratulations” and Gina G’s “Ooh Aah Just a Little Bit”. Gina’s song became a massive International hit without winning Eurovision (because it’s damn good) it is the only losing song to make the Billboard top 20 in the States and it went on to win a Grammy Nomination.
25) Terry Wogan did his first Eurovision in 1971 as a radio commentator he then went on and back between TV and Radio coverage until he took the BBC commentary booth in Brotherhood of Man’s Year. He lasted until 2008 when he stepped down criticising the political voting (Cyprus always for Greece; Serbia for Croatia sort of thing) when the UK entry by Andy Abrams was rejected wholeheartedly by Europe on mass – Terry said we have a good song with a good singer it is now pointless us competing. Radio 2’s lovely Ken Bruce has done the radio commentary now consistently since 1988 for 32 straight years and long may he continue…he calls it his ‘Annual holiday’.


Blind Date on Channel 5 was hailed for its inclusivity of bisexual contestants in a recent episode, however, the prize, a trip to St. Lucia has caused concern as same-sex sex acts between males are actually illegal on the Island.
The show brought together Jordan Shannon and Jesse Drew.
Speaking to the Daily Star, Jordan Shannon said, “I didn’t know [about the law] until I was told on the way to the hotel. I thought, ‘What the f**k?’, The hotel security woman told me how most gay men were in the closet there as homosexuality is illegal. It’s 10 years in prison if caught.”
Channel 5 has yet to address the mistake. A spokesperson for Channel 5 said, “We didn’t know and are taking this up with the production company.”
Sexual activity between two people of the same sex could lead to a 10-year prison spell and is just one of over 70 countries where homosexuality is still illegal.


“Smoking is good for you…”
“The last mosquito that bit me had to book into the Betty Ford Clinic.”
“My ring needs resealing, I know the gutters sagging a bit but how about a quick plunge up the waste pipe?”
“It’s 7– 7:30? In the…? Why, that means nothing to me!”
“Keep driving, Eddy. You haven’t hit anything yet.”
“Are you mad? I’ve got nothing to wear on public transport?”
“You may dress like a Christian, but the similarity ends there. I think you do it on purpose. How long does it take you to get the crease so crisp down the front of your jeans, you torturer?”
“Oh you little BITCH TROLL FROM HELL.”
“She’s emaciated, like her brain!”
“The only label she wears is “Drip Dry”.
“One wiff of a cocoa bean and our customers would fly like vampires before garlic. Jeremy’s must remain a sterile oasis, free from street eaters and coffee carriers. Aseptic and razor-sharp as our customer’s hipbones. These women shop for lunch! Labels are their only sustenance! Their skeleton legs in Manolos have worn trenches down the pavement of Sloan Street. Their arm sinews have just enough muscles left in their arm to lift up a credit card.”<
“Nothing, and you shouldn’t have to. I mean, look at you. You’ve been a fantastic mother. You’ve let them ruin your figure. Your stomach’s stretched beyond recognition, you’ve got tits down to your knees, and what for, for God’s sake? For a potholer who’s worn nothing but a purple nylon tracksuit and a Gazza t-shirt for the past two years. Cut the cord, darling.”
So are you Patsy? Congratulate yourself sweetie.