THEGAYUK

Category: Review

  • FILM REVIEW | Jason Bourne

    FILM REVIEW | Jason Bourne

    JASON BOURNE – The 5th film in the saga of the memory loss super-spy and former FBI agent. Matt Damon is back after the Jeremy Renner misfire

    CREDIT: universal pictures
    CREDIT: universal pictures

    Nutshell – Picking up where the third movie left off and completely passing over number four this time coming staight out of the headlines with a massive wikileaks style hack story. Our hero gets dragged back out of hiding (again) to defeat those nasty plotting American war mongerers. This time he heads to Athens, Berlin, London Paddington and Las Vegas and the action is pretty non-stop with superstar Brit director Paul Greengrass back in charge of the mayhem (The only reason for Damon’s return)

    Time – 123 mins; Certificate – 12A.

    Tagline – ‘You Know His Name’ a play on the James Bond Casino Royale ‘You Know My Name’ tag.

    The Gay UK Factor – Don’t be late arriving as the hottest scene is right at the start when we get Matt Damon in a shirtless illegal underground fight club with plenty of sweat, muscle and blood for your right wrists attention.

    Cast – Matt Damon. Tommy Lee Jones, Alicia Vikander, Scott Sheperd, Vincent Cassel and franchise regular the truly gorgeous Julia Styles.

    Key Player – The British Superstar director Paul Greengrass who is unbeaten in making great exciting hit blockbuster movies straight out of the headlines. From Bloody Sunday to United 93, from Green Zone to Captain Phillips plus two pevious Bourne movies he is able to make the Stephen Lawrence case, 9/11, The Irish Troubles, The Somali Pirates etc into pure thought provoking entertainment and here he does it again with whistleblower Julian Assange – this movie might not be shown in the Ecuadorian Embassy!

    Budget – $120 Million but it’s already made $160 Million with a lot of legs left in it yet – a bona fide deserved hit where Hollywood does what it is best at and that is simply repeat what has worked before ad-infintum. Matt Damon is awaiting the phone to ring for number six surely.

    Best Bit – 0.36mins; There is a stunt in the final sequence which could go straight up against the opening chase in TMNTurtles as the best action clip of the year. As we are not into spoilers then the second best bit is a very tense possible death scene of a major character at the end of the Athens chase.

    Worst Bit – 1.02 mins; The upside of Bourne films is their realism but the problem with this is that we often expect a lot more than real life from our Hollywood entertainment. The bad guy here and the threat factor is not that huge in an era where we are used to world threatening bond villains or nasty geezers out to blow up the world – computer threat of secrets from a guy in a suit is a bit passe.

    Little Secret – The Las Vegas car chase sequence took five weeks to shoot and at the end the sequence wrecked 170 cars – They were only allowed to film on the strip between midnight and 5AM. They could not film the Greek scenes there as the taxes were too high due to that country’s financial woes so they mocked up Tenerife to look like Athens instead.

    Movie Mistake – A lot of car trouble, a number of times in the Las Vegas car chase you can see no driver in the vehicles, during a huge crash no airbags are deployed and four times the vehicles pass Bally’s and Paris Casinos on the strip which probably shows us how little access they actually had over the busy Vegas streets. Also why no-one noticed that the Audi Bourne hires in London has the steering wheel on the left side we will never know.

    Further Viewing – Four Bourne films and 25 Bond movies to begin with. Also Kingsman, The Ipcress File, Bridge Of Spies, Mission Impossible, Spy Game, The Third Man, 24 and Spooks.

    Any Good – Yes this is ace and worthy of the original trio that went before it. The action is spot on and the directing is out of this world. Matt Damon looks great and has this character locked down now. The others have great sequences but this is probably the best all round movie of the franchise.

    Rating – 70%

     

     

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Barry Humphries’ Weimar Cabaret featuring Meow-meow

    THEATRE REVIEW | Barry Humphries’ Weimar Cabaret featuring Meow-meow

    ★★★★★ | Barry Humphries’ Weimar Cabaret

    What’s your deepest impression of Barry Humphries? The tacky, kitsch-bitch supreme Dame Edna Everage, all ghastly, C&A drag and granny glasses, or worse, the snot-and dandruff spattered Sir Les Patterson?

    Barry Humphries
    CREDIT: Helen White – PR Supplied

    Hopefully, it’s neither. See, the true Barry Humphries is a deeply cultured graduate of the fine arts, and has written definitive articles on eccentric, human sexuality. He’s also a superb character actor, to the extent audiences mistake his Sir Les Patterson creation for a genuine Ambassador of Australian culture! And if Brits, unfairly, accuse Americans of misunderstanding irony, it’s sheer, poetic justice that they’re completely insensitive to Barry Humphries’ deathly dry, Australian wit.

    There’s a reason for that, of course – what ex-colonial, reactionary, right-wing regime can bear ridicule?

    Not Little Britain, that’s for sure, and Humphries, initially, works hard to win over a cold, deeply monied and highly privileged Chelsea audience. Still, he’s a charming and infectiously erudite bon vivant, all barrel-chest, squat neck and deliberately ironic, his physicality eluding rigid, anal-retentive analysis. Quite simply, the audience – many of whom have never seen the real Humphries – don’t know what to make of him, suspending their typical, pack-mentality persecution prejudices. Oh, don’t get me wrong, many hardcore Conservatives adore the arts – remember David Mellor, anyone? – but often, they view culture as shockingly disposable.

    Not tonight, perhaps. ‘I’m doing my hardest impersonation ever tonight’ Humphries quips, ‘myself’.

    Too true, and Humphries’ actual, authoritative, deeply knowledgeable self is instantly seductive company. Always ferociously anti-fascist and bitterly opposed to any suppression of human diversity, he’s a tireless champion of Berlin’s Weimar Republic, immortalised by Christopher Isherwood’s Cabaret.

    Never heard of the Weimar Republic? Google it ASAP – it’s essential queer history. An inter-wars, sexually diverse paradise, the Republic briefly flourished from 1919-1933, an intense island of queer resistance against crushing, hetero-normative banality. And Humphries, obviously, is in his element, showcasing the cream of Weimar musicality – his entire career has hilariously skewered homophobia on the spot.

    So naturally, his Weimar night shares a treasure-chest of subversive memories. Discovering stacks of obscure, German sheet-music in late 1940s Melbourne, Humphries, enthralled, tracked down any possible recordings and information on the Weimar Republic. Many otherwise utterly obscure composers – Krenek, Spoliansky, Schulhoff and Hollaender – set cynical, Weill and Brechtian lyrics into thrillingly mutated music fusing American jazz and indigenous folk motifs.

    And that music, of course – soon becoming the vital staples of furiously transgessive cabaret throughout Berlin – was pure poison to Germany’s ultra-reactionary, proto-Nazis. Physical, sexual and emotional spontaneity – all encouraged and cemented by Weimar’s signature, polyrhythmic musical delights – was seen as instantly inflammatory, undermining every fascist orthodoxy.

    Tragically, with the brutal rise of Nazi supremacy in 1933, Weimar was immediately suppressed, but Humphries’ gorgeously provocative time-capsule of the era suggests what we’ve lost. Appropriately, he’s accompanied by mischievous, multi-talented diva Meow-meow, channelling as always the spirit, attitude and killer glamour of every possible living drag queen! Yes, Meow-meow is a biological female, but far more than fellow, drag manqué Holestar, Meow-meow performs her femininity as an intoxicating artificiality she’s just discovered. Does it work? Oh god, yes – as sublimely as Ru Paul in full, killer-queen mode, and visiting and inhabiting Weimar’s music simply demands a hugely exaggerated reality!

    CREDIT: Harmony Nicolas PR SUPPLIED
    CREDIT: Harmony Nicolas PR SUPPLIED

    It’s a theme that extends, even, to Humphries’ backing chamber orchestra, all uniformly dressed in sharp, Bohemian black, all Joel Grey trilbies for men and women. And the music’s a revelation, all instantly contagious, colloquial melodies grafted to the spare bones of classicism and non-European, imported tonalities. Yes, there’s some expected, Weimar favourites – ‘Pirate Jenny’ and ‘Surabaya Johhny’ – but the stand-out is Erwin Schulhoff’s ‘Dada masterpiece’, the Sonata Erotica.

    Bearing radical, avant-garde comparison to John Cage’s 4.33’ – four minutes of silence with the score considered any random sounds within that time – Sonata Erotica still startles. Exuberantly performed by Meow-meow, it’s orgasmic moaning, pants and screeching delivered as fine, operatic art, the most joyous, unrestrained expression of subversive sexuality possible!

    No wonder Humphries, after an awkward but endearing dance with Meow-meow, finally exits with an ecstatic grin- he’s just mentally liberated yet another slice of Little Britain!

     

    Follow Sasha DeSuinn on Twitter

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Do you have a secret crush?

    THEATRE REVIEW | Do you have a secret crush?

    ★★★★ | Do you have a secret crush?

    Something quite extraordinary is happening in Wandsworth, the mid 90’s gay scene has come back to life and it’s hilarious as it is heartbreaking.

    CREDIT: PND Photography

     

    Based on a true story, Do You Have A Secret Crush (sleeping with straight men) transports you back to mid-90s-America, where a gay man, Stanley (Chris Britton), working in the city’s only gay bar Flamingos, is eager to spread his wings and escape Pontiac in Michigan. He falls head over heels with a straight waiter, Lee (Rich Watkins) whilst out to lunch with his drag queen friend Sally (Dave Lynn).

    He devises a plan to tell Lee that he has fallen for him, live in front of a television audience, to be broadcast nationally on the daily chat show The Jill Johnson show.

    Flown first class, limo drop offs, all expenses paid trip to New York, both Stan and Lee make their way to the studio separately for the big reveal. What could possibly go wrong?

    The small but perfectly formed company fits in the cosy space of the Lost Theatre in the heart of Wandsworth.

    You’re immediately transported back to the 90s thanks to a rather fabulous soundtrack and costumes. Britton plays Stanley confidently and cheekily, filled with life. Watkins plays straight man Lee safe, curious and slightly unnerving. Ruth Petersen’s mid-morning Talk Show host is perfectly fake, disingenuous and veneered. Drag icon Dave Lynn smoulders as Sally and belts out some glorious numbers. It is however Louie Westwood who manages to steal the show, with his shrieks and trills, hair tszujing and high-campery.

    Do you have a secret crush 1
    CREDIT: PND Photography
    Do you have a secret crush 1
    CREDIT: PND Photography

     

    If your in the mood this summer for some gay history, a slice of campery, a belly of laughs, a hint of longing and a tragic reminder of period less accepting, this glorious time capsule of a play is a must see.

    Do You Have A Secret Crush is playing at the Lost Theatre, Wandsworth until 21st August.

     

    SPOILER (if you’ve not heard of the Scott Amedure story.)

    It’s an incredibly powerful story – even more chilling that it is based on the murder of Scott Amedure in 1995, who went on the Jenny Jones’ talk show to tell Jonathan Schmitz that he was attracted to him. After a “suggestive” note was delivered an enraged Schmitz bought a shotgun and shot Amedure twice in the chest.

    Schmitz was found guilty of second degree murder and is currently serving a 25-50 year sentence.

  • BOOK REVIEW | Straight Jacket: How To Be Gay And Happy, Matthew Todd

    BOOK REVIEW | Straight Jacket: How To Be Gay And Happy, Matthew Todd

    ★★★★ | Straight Jacket: How to Be Gay and Happy

    There’s a problem with gay men. There’s definitely a problem with gay men. We’re legal now with an equal age of consent. We can get married and adopt children, dance in the streets at Pride events and hold hands in Central London. We even pop-up on television dramas from time to time looking as far removed from the stereotypical 1970’s mincing queens as is possible. Yet, we have higher than average rates of mental illness, addiction and suicide; often struggle to maintain relationships and many are filled with corrosive self-hatred.

    I’m a self confessed gay man with issues. Like a lot of people, gay or straight, I’ve cycled through a few addictions before reaching middle age. Prescription medications, a car-crash relationship with alcohol and a lot of not always fun casual sex were my main vices. I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety and am an expert at obsessive thinking who’s had a shed load of therapy.

    When I heard about this book by Matthew Todd (the witty and wise ex Attitude editor and writer of the play Bells and Whistles) I embraced it with open arms. Luckily, it definitely hugged me back.

    Todd certainly knows his stuff. He uses statistics, case studies, anecdotes and interviews to present his argument and it’s a compelling one. Intermingled with this is Todd’s own story and the book is part memoir, part discourse on the problems facing gay men in 21st century life. Todd grew up in 1970’s Croydon, escaped and lived to tell the tale.

    He also struggled to rein his life in after becoming too dependent on alcohol to numb the pain of his darker thoughts.

    Todd’s main premise is that our culture and society leads gay men to live with deep-seated feelings of shame and then offers wonky solutions such as casual sex and alcohol. He examines the ways this affects us and focuses on how having low self-esteem can lead to problems such as over-eating, gym addictions and drug abuse. His scope is wide ranging and it’s a fascinating read. This isn’t a dry tome and is never preachy but is compelling and readable with a perceptive gaze. It’s a warm and caring book but one that’s also disturbing.

    There are frequent reminders too that it’s not all issues and problems. Lots of gay men are happy and healthy. We don’t all indulge in risky behaviour and walk around under black clouds. Some of us enjoy drugs and alcohol in moderation. There’s no disapproval or moralising here. Even if you’re one of the luckier ones and are beautifully balanced, it’s an enlightening study.

    The final portion of the book loses focus and momentum a little but is still worth perusing. Overall this is an important book and is relevant, resonant and reassuring. I’d recommend this to every gay man or to everyone who knows one.

    Available on Amazon

  • FILM REVIEW | Star Trek Beyond

    STAR TREK BEYOND – The 13th Star Trek film – remember the odd-numbered ones are the good ones does that all change here?

    Nutshell – The third movie in the rebooted series. The crew set off from the best spaceport in the Universe to help a missing crippled ship in a nebula hence out of contact. They come under attack from a big bad guy who has been planning bigger dirty deeds from afar which soon become apparent and whilst he sets off to destroy said spaceport and all human kind, our heroes are separated, enslaved or worse on a desolate planet that looks like a quarry in Surrey (Actually Vancouver).

    Time – 122 mins; Certificate – 12A.

    Tagline – None. Let’s face it you know what you are going to get by now after 50 years and are either in or out.

    THE GAY UK FACTOR – Chris Pine and Idris Elba in mano et mano wrestling and fighting action as to who gets to live or in our universe loser gets done in the ass by the winner as in Kink.com’s wrestling videos online.

    Cast – Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Simon Pegg, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban with all the regulars plus Idris Elba and Sofia Betella and a bunch or red-shirt cannon fodder.

    Key Player – Simon Pegg has now also taken on writing duties so the humour is upped substantially and it works. Of course he still plays Engineer Scotty, superbly too, and has quietly gone from BBC TV sitcom land to possibly our biggest movie star with this franchise plus two others with the Mission Impossible and Ice Age films plus his own starring comedies like Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz and Paul, where does he find the time – Nick Frost who?

    Budget – $185 Million, It’s positive reception will mean that it will turn out to be a very profitable little number especially in a Summer of underachievers yes Ghostbusters and Independence Day 2 we are looking at you.

    Best Bit – 0.31mins; The first time the bad guys attack we get a very long, tense and sustained action sequence with real threat as the Starship Enterprise gets destroyed piece by piece before your very eyes….or does it?

    Worst Bit – 1.28 mins; When Kirk goes all ‘The Great Escape’ on a vintage motorbike he finds in space….yes we know! Many critics say this is a great action movie but not a Star Trek film, judge for yourselves of course but this sequence would fit much better in Fast and Furious 8: Vin Diesel in a space quarry.

    Little Secret -Writer Simon Pegg and director Justin Lin made the decision of making Sulu gay as a nod to original actor George Takei, who has since become a prominent LGBT rights activist. After production on the film was completed and a month before the film’s release, Anton Yelchin (Chekov) was killed in a freak car accident. During the end credits, there is a caption “For Anton”.

    Movie Mistake – As the Enterprise gets hacked to pieces and split in two it seems incongruous that the lights, air, gravity seem unaffected. Then the ship starts to flip upside down but still the crew are running along floors and ceilings with gay abandon. Newton’s law of gravity for christsake!

    Further Viewing – Well you have twelve others to go at for starters our fave is number 4 The Voyage Home followed by First Contact; Stargate, Aliens, Battlestar Galactica and anything from that galaxy far away and a long long time ago.

    Any Good – Well yeah, the rebooted formula is well sorted now and the cast fit their parts perfectly. The original story is done and there is no attempts at cameos from Trek characters of the past just a straight forward adventure movie. Like a TV episode three times as long and with 50 times the budget. One of those rare Trek films that would appeal outside of the home fan-base. Number 14 please.

    Rating – 34/100 (34th out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK filmatic heaven and 100 being a dud).

  • FILM REVIEW | The Legend Of Tarzan

    FILM REVIEW | The Legend Of Tarzan

    THE LEGEND OF TARZAN – The eternal story of the jungle hero brought up by apes who turns into a 6’4″ plus sweaty almost nude muscle man is back.

    Legend Of Tarzan
    CREDIT: Warner Bros

     

    Nutshell – The story has been filmed so many times over the last 98 years and here he gets his biggest budget yet in both an original story and an adventure involving diamonds and nasty Euro villains. Starting in England as the grown up suited and booted Lord Greystoke we get to flashback to the loss of his parents, the adoption by gorillas and how he met Jane before his Lordship whips his clothes off to start swinging through the jungle in the main plot for a bit of revenge, rescue the missus and to sort out some international political shenanigans and save the day. Thank goodness here he can communicate with the animals as he sure needs there help big time.

    Time – 110 mins; Certificate – 12A.

    Tagline – ‘Human…Nature’.

    THE GAY UK FACTOR – Well you have to wait 30 minutes until you get to see a nipple thereafter it is 90 minutes of rippling sweaty muscle running, jumping and wrestling with other buff men. Tarzan is played by Alexander Skarsgard the hottest piece of Swedish blonde manhood you have ever seen. If you want more check out the new gay porn parody Tarzan from Men.com starring porn superstar Diego Sans with his 10 incher stumping every man up the butt who steps into his jungle like an ape on heat and banging his chest and letting out his infamous shout when he cums the choice is yours !.

    Cast – Alexander Skarsgard (Zoolander 2), Margot Robbie (The Wolf Of Wall Street), Christoph Waltz (Spectre), Jim Broadbent (Moulin Rouge), Ben Chaplin (Cinderella) and Samuel ‘I’ve had it with these motherf***ing snakes on this motherf***ing plane’ L. Jackson.

    Key Player – Christoph Waltz is the only stand out in a sea of beige here. A great scene stealing actor ever since Tarantino launched him into the big time a decade ago and here he adds another complete bastard to his run of Nazi’s in Inglorious Bastards or his Blofeld in the latest James Bond.

    Budget – $180 Million, One of the biggest budgets of the Summer but we are looking at a merely break-even film here, so no profit, no sequel and no franchise…..oh dear!

    Best Bit – 0.50 mins; Tarzan and buds swing on vines onto a fast-moving train which is a very entertaining but unnecessary action set-piece.

    Worst Bit – 0.20 mins; Basically the whole first act is slow going, get your kit off man and fight something so we watch those muscles move and smell those pits.

    Little Secret – The 6’4″ actor had to get his bod in shape twice as the cast had to return 8 months later for re-shoots. He said, “We have an outline already for the sequel in which Tarzan gains weight. Tarzan remains hairy and does not have eight pack abs. It has no action and Tarzan eats cake, lots of cake. I wrote it.”…..no worries there is no sequel wanted here.

    Movie Mistake – The bad guys death right at the end has a couple of hideous errors check them for yourself as we are not into giving spoilers here.

    Further Viewing – The International Movie Database lists over 200 Tarzan films over the last 98 years so when done with those try The Jungle Book (2016), Fitzcarraldo, Romancing The Stone, Congo & even George Of The Jungle.

    Any Good – Not really considering that budget. There is plenty of action and a heavily CGI’d finale which hardly engages but the acting is so phoned in and the editing is appalling jumping back in time as and when and leaping the main story onwards with an unexplained blur – you will switch off before the end after all the whole cast except Waltz do. Decent wanking material though.

    Rating – 81/100 (81st out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK filmatic heaven and 100 being a dud).

  • CAR REVIEW | Ford Kuga Titanium X Sport 2.0 TDCi

    Ford seems to have tried making a premium SUV, but gave up half way in and threw in a load of plastics and cheap technologies to get it finished. Of course, it looks good and should be reliable, after all, it is a Ford.

    CAR REVIEW | Ford Kuga Titanium X Sport 2.0 TDCi

    The MK2 Kuga is a vast improvement on the old, it has sharp styling and from the outside has a very strong whiff of a premium brand. The model tested was a Titanium X Sport with the 2.0 TDCi 180ps manual with AWD. Now, in this trim the car looks brilliant, we had ours in Deep Impact Blue and it was gorgeous. The big 19″ alloys, silver trim and roof rails made it look like it came from the class above. The bodywork is curvaceous yet sharp and looks very sporty. However, you only get this look on the Titanium Sport or higher, anything less and you get cheap black plastic trim all around the outside. That is where Ford has made a mistake.

    Our test car was fitted with the very comfortable leather seats, well, more like armchairs. Heated as well non the less. The rear seats were also just as comfortable with plenty of leg room and the option to recline the seats. This is more or less where the positives for the inside end. The infotainment system is appalling and looks like it was designed to be used by babies. It is slow, dim-witted and clunky with hard to reach buttons and a poor layout. What can I expect, Ford have never done very well with infotainment. Look at the current Fiesta, nearly 9 years into production and they have barely changed the inside once.

    What makes this even more shocking is this is a whole new infotainment system, only in cars from April 2016 onwards.

    The problems continue. On a car this size and shape you would expect to have a massive and fully usable interior, after all it is a Sports Utility Vehicle. The rear seats don’t even lay completely flat. One of my biggest bbugbears Nothing ruins the back for me more than on a car with tall and wide with so much potential, to be hampered by a step in the load area. The little things. My other issue is more of a suggestion. Under the two front seats we have on offer a very large space, could it not be an option to have under seat storage? It will be great to hide valuables in. Although the glove box is big, it can get filled up quickly with the manual, CDs and in my case, my change pot.

    Apart from those niggles and issues with the inside, it is a pleasant place for a long journey. The electric sunroof is a nice touch, it brings in a lot of light into the cabin, although it sits rather annoyingly in the center of the roof with over half a foot gap on both sides. It doesn’t sound like much but when you want to look out the roof from the rear seats you have to strain over to one side. I won’t get too bogged down with the negatives, because at the end of the day the ride is smooth, the seats are comfy, it is quiet and the air-conditioning works sublimely. Everything you need for a cruise down the motorway in the summer sun.

    So we have established the outside looks great and the inside needs improving, now it is time for an under the bonnet critique. The engine in this car, a 2.0 180bhp diesel works well.

    First gear is almost non-existent and proves to be no use, I often took to moving away in 2nd gear as it got off quicker. Apart from 1st, the rest of the gears are lovely and the transmission is smooth and the gear lever feels connected. The AWD system is a useful, but fuel consuming, bit of extra safety and reassurance.

    For a Ford it coped very well with a bit of light off roading. The suspension is also very good at soaking up bumps, not to mention you can really chuck it at the corners. I was surprised at how smooth the ride was, considering we were riding on 19″ alloys.

    The safety kit is also useful, if not a little unsettling and confusing. It was not until after contacting Ford about the City Stop active breaking that we found out it doesn’t work for people…

    The lane keeping assist works and isn’t too intrusive. Some cars have been known to pull you back over, whereas the Kuga goes for a more “vibrate the steering wheel so violently you lose blood flow in your hands” approach. I also got to test out for the first time park assist. It is a very useful bit of kit, if not a little weird to get used to. Even in the pitch black at 11pm at night I didn’t hit anything.

    Overall it is a good car, nothing to rave about, but I wouldn’t tell anyone not to get one. There are similar cars available which I would suggest, the Mazda CX-5 and Hyundai Tuscan to name two. If you are looking for similar sized cars but with a different budget in mind, the Dacia Duster is a phenomenal car for your money, whereas the BMW X1 gives you a lot more class for your cash.

    Likes:
    Styling
    Comfort
    Drive

    Loathes:
    Infotainment system
    Acceleration
    Fuel economy

    Car – Ford Kuga Titanium X Sport 2.0 TDCi 180 AWD Manual
    Price – £36,115 (as tested)
    MPG – 54.3mpg (combined)
    Power – 177bhp
    0-62mph – 9.2 seconds
    Top Speed – 126 mph
    Co2 – 135 (g/km)

     

    Find out more at http://www.ford.com/

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Blanc de Blanc, London Hippodrome

    THEATRE REVIEW | Blanc de Blanc, London Hippodrome

    ★★★★★ | Blanc de Blanc

    Blanc de Blanc is the new circus show in the cabaret theatre at London’s
    iconic Hippodrome Casino. From the team behind the sublime LIMBO and
    Cantina, it’s described as an evening of ‘breathless abandon’ and they’re not lying. It’s a dazzling spectacle of pure madness.

    Imagine if Bob Fosse’s disaffected dance hall girls from Sweet Charity met with the bawdy performers from The Kit Kat Club in Cabaret and decided to mix it up by throwing in a smattering of MTV style gyrating and twerking. If you add in the attendees at a fetish ball, the clientele of an underground Parisian bar from the 1930s and some wasted dancers from an Ibiza foam party then you’ve maybe envisioned part of it. That sounds like an unholy mess but it really isn’t. It’s bizarre but it works.

    Loosely linked by the celebration of champagne drinking, the show is hosted by French beefcake and model Monsieur Romeo and his sidekick contortionist and post-modern clown Spencer Novich. The show contains the inevitable repertoire of cabaret standards. There’s trapeze work, hoop spinning and contortionism as well as plenty of nudity and things being inserted into or pulled out of places you might not want to even think about.

    There’s the usual stuff that makes you gasp, laugh and say “Eurgh” as well as marvelling at the performer’s skills (and their beauty). The difference between this and a standard burlesque or circus evening is the style. Everything is done with panache. Choreographer Kevin Maher and director Scott Maidmont’s production is a sight to behold. It’s not surprising as between them they’ve worked with J-Lo, Madonna and Britney (to name but a few). It’s all deliciously camp and self-mocking and tremendous fun.

    The styles gel together and the show segues well between acts with a great build up to a frenetic finale. It’s raucous but restrained and even in the most absurd moments retains some dignity. It’s like an unfettered club night but one where you have to be a member and have a propensity for the darker things in life to be allowed in.

    They even manage to make a 5-minute pause for the audience to pop up on the stage to take selfies with the cast not seem too brash. If you’re looking for a good night out with attitude then you won’t go far wrong with this show.

    Blanc de Blanc plays at the Hippodrome Casino until 29th August

     

    Follow Chris Bridges on Twitter

  • FILM REVIEW | Ghostbusters

    FILM REVIEW | Ghostbusters

    GHOSTBUSTERS – New York is flooded by angry ghosts once again – who ya gonna call ?… The all female reboot that’s who.
    The Ghostbusters Abby (Melissa McCarthy), Holtzmann (Kate

    Nutshell – Thirty-two years after you first heard that legendary song and saw that logo the female Ghostbusters take over with a mega budget and a host of famous cameos plus all the major players (in different roles) from the original films. From the team that brought you recent megahits like Bridesmaids and Spy, means you are in very safe hands with four former Saturday Night Live girls in the lead roles who know how to get laughs a plenty. It has exactly the same tone as the original two movies and is great fun. Bustin’ makes us feel good.

    Time – 116 mins; Certificate – 12A.

    Tagline – ‘Who Ya gonna Call’ & ‘Answer The Call’.

    THE GAY UK FACTOR – If THEGAYUK office was making a Ghostbusters movie we would put Chris Hemsworth in tight T-shirts in as many scenes as possible. We would show several shots of the 6’4″ Aussie muscle hunk with his shirt off and we would close the movie with a three minute private lap dance with the sex god over the credits. Guess what the producers give us exactly all that and more and therefore topping up to our wank bank to the brim.

    Cast – Melissa McCarthy, Chris Hemsworth’s ass, Kristen Wiig, Chris Hemsworth’s pecs, Bill Murray, Chis Hemworth’s cock, Charles Dance, Chris Hemworth’s abs, Ozzy Osbourne, Chris Hemsworth’s thighs and an awful lot more of Chris Hemsworth and some other actors too…

    Key Player – Melissa McCarthy is the current queen of comedy and she leads from the front here in what should be an ensemble piece. She has so many funny lines many of which she ad-libbed. She is on the biggest roll in Hollywood at the moment with twelve straight hits and no misses and it won’t stop here.

    Budget – $144 Million, It will make a profit but won’t bust blocks as may have been hoped for it but a sequel will follow as set-up nicely with the post credit twist.

    Best Bit – 1. 44 mins; The end credits are simply great, with funny comedy clips, outtakes, sequel teasers and that Chris Hemsworth dance routine which caps out the whole movie nicely.

    Worst Bit – 21.00 mins; The big bad is neither very big or very bad and the film really picks up when in Scooby Doo type fashion the evil spirit starts to take over various main cast members and upping both the fun and jeopardy.

    Little Secret – When the movie was first assembled it was a butt clenching 4 hours and 15 mins long so some severe editing was required. As of today its trailer on YouTube was the most hated of all time as fans did not like the idea of the original guys being replaced by gals.

    Movie Mistake – Lots. After the first ghostly encounter when Erin is covered in gloop she hugs Abby who in the next shot has no gunk on her whatsoever, the ghostbusters vehicle Ecto 1 appears in their garage HQ before they have even acquired it in the story and the evil spirit can control a whole army of men and makes them dance but stupidly appear to have no power over the four ghostbusting girls who are obviously the real threat.

    Further Viewing – Ghostbusters 1 & 2, Men In Black 1 & 2, Bridesmaids, The Boss, Heat, Sister Act or anything with Sandra Bullock or Bette Midler in.

    Any Good – Perfectly adequate no more and no less. We have a suspicion that now all the homages to the original is out of the way that the sequel will be truly great. A weird kind of experience where after a neat opening scene, the movie then dips substantially and then gets gradually builds and gets better and better throughout as it progresses to a very lively climax . Giving you a marathon feel rather than a sprint.

    Rating – 51/100 (51st out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK filmatic heaven and 100 being a dud).

  • Best of teeth whitening 2016

    Best of teeth whitening 2016

    Grooming expert Luke Christian tries out the latest teeth whitening solutions to see which ones are really up to the task of whitening and brightening your teeth.

    I have spent the past month or so trialling out the latest teeth whitening products, and I am here to to tell you which of those were the most beneficial!

    Polished – Teeth Whitening Powder
    The most unusual yet exciting teeth whitening product I’ve ever used! Simply dab your wet toothbrush into the powder, and brush your teeth as normal. Whilst I didn’t notice a massive difference colour-wise, my teeth felt squeaky clean afterwards!
    6/10  BUY IT ONLINE

    Rapid White Express – 5 Minute Dissolving Teeth Whitening Strips
    The strips gave my teeth a weird sensation! You apply the strips on your upper and lower teeth and wait for 5 minutes for the strips to dissolve. I didn’t notice a massive difference with these, however I liked how they weren’t messy or too sticky to use!
    5/10 BUY IT ONLINE

    Blanx – White Shock Formula
    Easily one of the best toothpastes out there! This keeps my teeth feeling clean, and looking white!
    8/10 BUY IT ONLINE

    iWHITE – Tooth Polisher
    One of my favourite products! A tooth polisher which not only made every tooth feel thoroughly cleansed, they also appeared brighter and healthier!
    9/10 BUY IT ONLINE

    Instant Whites – Liquid Filled Swabs
    Rub the swab tip on each tooth, without applying too much pressure. After a few days, I noticed a change in colour, however I found this product rather fiddly and flimsy to use.
    6/10 BUY IT ONLINE

    ultra Dex – Recalcifying & Whitening Toothpaste
    A great product, and my Mother’s personal favourite! There wasn’t that much of a noticeable colour change to this, but it left our teeth feeling very clean and their appearance looked polished!
    6/10 BUY IT ONLINE

    ultra Dex – Recalcifying & Whitening Daily Oral Rinse
    Another great product from ultra Dex, I noticed the minty flavour lasted a long time, keeping my breath fresh! However, no colour change was noticeable with this.
    5/10 BUY IT ONLINE

    Rapid White – Pro Clean & Polish System
    My absolute favourite! The tooth polisher has two nozzles,
    one for cleaning, the other for polishing. It comes with little polishing cups in which you push the nozzles into, and then clean each tooth afterwards. A slightly lengthy process, but the most beneficial and the most noticeable when it comes to whiter teeth!
    10/10 BUY IT ONLINE

     

    Follow Luke Christian on Twitter

  • FILM REVIEW | Nice Guys

    THE NICE GUYS – Bad cop, meaner sidekick in 70s set LA based film noir mystery thriller … and boy is it funny.

    Nutshell – Ryan Gosling’s ex-cop bumps into Russell Crowe’s hard case alcoholic hard nut investigator in a buddy movie where they simply hate each other. There is a dead porn star called Misty Mountains a femme fatale with a problem that goes right to the top. Slapstick, action, plot twists all laced with the Seventies feel of a Blaxpotation movie and Boogie Nights. The music is great, the story superb and the laughs between the two leads are plentiful.

    Time – 116 mins; Certificate – 15

    Tagline – ‘Nice Pair….They’re not that nice’.

    THE GAY UK FACTOR – Two of the sexiest men alive Gosling and Crowe going full mano et mano for the duration. This is masculine men ripping on each other and beating one another up rather than off for the duration. If you like either of these two guys you will truly love this and the film is about the porn industry too.

    Cast – Russell and Ryan, Angourie Rice and the gorgeous Kim Basinger.

    Key Player – Shane Black the director. A true pet project from the Iron Man director and writer of all the Lethal Weapon films, The Last Boy Scout and Last Action Hero. This guy knows buddy films as he in effect invented them and this is his masterpiece of the genre.

    Budget – A relatively modest $50 Million with stars of this calibre but period films always cost a lot so that money would be quickly mopped up. No problem as it got into profit in under two weeks and there is a lot more money on the way for this one.

    Best Bit – 1.05 mins; The secret is the interplay between the two leads and it is best shown in a comedy masterclass inside a toilet closet.

    Worst Bit – 1.10 mins; The unnecessary dream sequences the first one leading to a car crash just don’t fit with the films tone – who needs giant bee’s etc ?

    Little Secret – The project was initially proposed as a TV series but was re-tooled as a film after the pilot seemed to be going nowhere – good decision.

    Movie Mistake – As with all period pieces there are so many – both the Earth Wind & Fire songs in the club were not released when the movie was set and the song “Get Down On It” was 5 years later. Posters for Blondie who weren’t even formed then and TV shows and films such as London Calling did not exist in 1977 when this was set.
    Further Viewing – Lethal Weapons 1 through 4, Hot Fuzz, Men In Black, Hollywood Homicide, In Bruges and most of all the Rush Hour series.

    Any Good – This is pure cinema marmite if you like the tone it will be one of your favourites of the year if not you will just enjoy it as a decent well acted comedy thriller..

    Rating – 67/100 (67th out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being best and 100 being a damp squib).