Category: Review

  • CAR REVIEW | Jeep Cherokee M-Jet 11 Limited

    WOW. That’s how I will start the review for the new Jeep Cherokee. It has a lot of visual impact. There are shapes within shapes and then there are questionable things you point at. Then you wonder where the headlights are? They are not quite in the place you would expect them to be. They are thankfully there and present and on the front. They say it has a fresh and aggressive look. It’s not that aggressive. Fact is, the front is pedestrian hitting friendly and slung low. Quite the opposite.

    The LGBT community is known for standing out from the crowd so this car really does feel at home with me. I spent almost 9 hours behind the wheel of this Cherokee in its Limited spec and it was a nice place to be. Those hours ended up feeling quite effortless. It is loaded from bumper to bumper with goodies, it has driver aids and a less wobbly ride than you would expect.

    I don’t think anyone would have thought this would ever be said about an American car but with the help of Fiat, the Americans have finally made a vehicle worthy of Europe and the UK. It’s not brash and it doesn’t beep at you for random to no significant reasons. Always an annoyance in an American car.

    It all sounds good so you’d expect me to keep enthusing about it but I’ll briefly stop here. Some of those driver aids are a bit much. The Cherokee shares platform software as fitted to the Renegade and I don’t know if it was because the Cherokee is a bigger car, but when the lane assist kicks in during lane changes on the motorway it fights with a firm tug. Indicate and the system is switched off. It caught me out several times.

    Don’t get me started on the door mirrors. They are good in their operation. They contain blind spot indicators that proved useful. What they don’t do however is fold in when on the move! Anything more than 10mph and they fold open. A vehicle of this size and with off-road potential needs to have retractable mirrors on the move. Replacements are not cheap.

    That’s my moaning done. The rest of the Jeep works very well. The engine, 2.2 turbo diesel, is smooth. A little harsh in a few places but nothing that makes you wince from feeling you are being mechanically unsympathetic. These noises are only heard with the windows open anyway. Outside the idle is subdued with a muted diesel clatter. It doesn’t sound like a tractor anymore.

    On the move, the 197bhp power unit mated to the 9-speed auto will propel you forward to 60mph in 8.5 seconds. It’s not the quickest I will grant you so you will be happy to know it suffers no turbo lag and that gearbox of 9 cogs will instantly select one to aid your momentum up to the claimed speed of 127mph I am sure.

    I did question if 9 gears were needed at all. Surely 5 or 6 are ample. Those 9 make for a seamless move through the gears. Apart from coming out of first, I struggled to detect the next change up. You soon learn when it will change up. At around 1500-2000rpm is when it happens. Sometimes however when you play with the manual override you discover it’s jumped 2 cogs. It’s best left to the box to do its thing and you concentrate on driving.

    Inside you are greeted by sumptuous leather-covered seats that offer heated or cold air options. The materials chosen are the best Jeep have fitted to almost any of their vehicles to date. Areas that require touching are made to feel like you have spent your money on something very special. The ergonomics felt right once you had learnt where some of the minor controls were. It took me some time to grasp the concept used for the front wipers. A multi-clicked turn on the stalk activated them from about 4 types of intermittent wiper to normal slow and fast. It was almost over 180-degree turn. In a hurry when you want them it’s a bit of a bind.

    Thankfully on board, this model has the advance brake assist. It worked well when a little hatchback decided to stop abruptly for no reason during a left-hand turn. It also has a neat feature to prevent you reversing into things by slamming on the brakes. Marvellous I said. It did make reversing a doodle and the Jeep went back without a scratch on the bumper.

    The infotainment system is one of the best I have used. The DAB radio is by far the easiest I have yet come across. Everything is easy to find and the display shows almost all and everything you could wish for. I just wished it was angled a little more towards the driver. So many manufacturers get this wrong.

    What I do question is its off-road ability. Unlike Cherokee’s of the past this one lacks a decent ascent and descent angle. The overhang from the front and rear bumpers being to low. Cherokee once displayed a great advert about the bridge missing so having to use the dried river bed. You’d want to get that bridge fixed with this one.

    If you can come to terms with the looks you would be happy with the Jeep. Some will point and stare, others will run and hide. I would give you the thumbs up. I enjoyed my time with it. For that week I had it, it did everything I wanted in a calm manner and did it effortlessly. And who cares what it looks like, from the driver’s seat you don’t have to look at it anyway.

    Likes

    Driving
    Infotainment system
    Refinement

    Loathes

    Folding mirrors
    Limited off-road by bumper overhangs
    Overly powerful lane assist assistance

    The Lowdown
    Car – Jeep Cherokee M-Jet 11 Limited
    Price – £37,245 (as tested)
    MPG – 49.6mpg (combined)
    Power – 197 bhp
    0-62mph – 8.5 seconds
    Top Speed – 127 mph
    Co2 – 160 (g/km)

  • THEATRE REVIEW | The Stripper, St. James Theatre Studio

    THEATRE REVIEW | The Stripper, St. James Theatre Studio

    ★★ | The Stripper, St. James Theatre

    CREDIT: Origin8 Photography
    CREDIT: Origin8 Photography

     

    Ever heard of the biographical fallacy? No, it’s not a handy, dictaphone dildo, but a warning to never, ever judge an author’s work by his life. See, back in the 19th Century, critics actually believed in pure, spun-from-thin-air fantasy, that plays and novels came from sheer imagination, not hard, lived experience.

    Oh really? Tell that to gay, smack addict and novelistic genius William Burroughs, whose entire output mirrored his self-chosen squalor. And he’s merely the tip of a non-stop, thinly-fictionalised iceberg – every second, every minute, we’re swamped by tsunamis of blogs, memoirs and blatant self-mythologizing.

    So unsurprisingly, critical theory’s undergone a complete reversal, and currently, all creative writing is viewed as ultimately flowing from biographical facts. Oh dear. That’s very bad news for Rocky Horror creator Richard O’ Brien’s latest show The Stripper, which once again showcases his low-brow, pop-culture fixations. It’s a heavy-handed, sleazy, musical theatre adaptation of a disposable, pulp-fiction, private-eye novel by hack Carter Brown, and as dire as it sounds.

    Me, I pity the show’s outstanding actors. Despite being crippled by O’Brien’s clueless, misogynistic lyrics, an uninspired score and lazily generic stage design and costuming, they often touch real brilliance. In particular, Gloria Onitiri’s lead stripper Dolores has the raw, diva heat of a young Grace Jones, while Sebastian Torkia’s private eye Wheeler is magnificently moody. More quirkily, Hannah Grover, Michael Steedon and Marc Pickering all triple-up to flesh out The Stripper’s seedy, eccentric cast. Sadly, they inhabit a world of laughably clunky exposition, with composer Richard Hartley’s score merely a serviceable, degraded blizzard of inept doo-wop and leaden jazz.

    Immediately, it’s obvious that nothing but instant closure can rescue this glacially-paced, Z-grade murder mystery.

    Yes, every possible cliché is alive and unfeasibly surviving here. There are one-note tough guys, vapid femme fatales and even – shades of Rocky Horror’s Riff-raff – a two-timing hunchback.

    Speaking charitably, it’s more Roger Rabbit than Jason Bourne. My god – didn’t it even occur to O’Brien that Carter Brown was parodying hard-boiled prose and attitudes? How could it? Peel away all the frothy, feel-good kitsch from Rocky Horror onwards and what’s left are O’Brien’s deeply unpleasant, highly reactionary, sexual politics.

    Frankly, nothing else explains such shockingly offensive lyrics as ‘I wanna fondle your tits/Baby you give me a hard-on’. There’s a simply appalling sub-text here – f*ck whoever possible and totally abuse their feelings – a textbook, sexual predator sense of intimate entitlement and presumed consent. Sure, as a songwriter, O’Brien is hardly Noel Coward or Cole Porter, but surely he’s capable of finer artistry than this abysmal, teenage smut? Honestly, do audiences really need such insensitivity casually inflicted on them in 2016?

    And even more disturbingly, O’Brien’s lyrics don’t even attempt irony – the object of their lust is meant to feel privileged! Gee, whatever happened to any notions or awareness of sexual dignity, humanity or compassion here? Heartless but superficially attractive, The Stripper is a coldly cynical exercise in period sleaze, but ultimately, one best left unattended in a forgotten, theatrical morgue.

    The Stripper run at the St. James Theatre Studio until 13th August

    Reviewed by Trixabelle del Mar

  • FILM REVIEW | Absolutely Fabulous The Movie

    FILM REVIEW | Absolutely Fabulous The Movie

    ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS : THE MOVIE – The good time girls of PR and fashion are back to expand the hit TV show in possibly the gaiest film ever made.

     

    Nutshell – 25-years after the show debuted we finally get the movie version we wanted. Picking up in real-time the WHOLE cast of major and minor characters are back all a bit older but just as funny this time round. Edina Monsoon (Jennifer Saunders the writer) has lost all her money and desperately needs new clients which leads to a tragic accident resulting in both Edina and walking drug cabinet Patsy Stone (Joanna Lumley having to go on the run to the South of France to do a bit of goldigging with an old flame played by Barry Humphries and ‘hilarity ensues’ in this cameo heavy laugh out loud pop culture juggernaut.

    Time – 91 mins; Certificate – 15.

    Tagline – ‘It’s A Huge Great Bloody Movie, Sweetie’.

    THE GAY UK FACTOR – So wonderfully camp Ab Fab makes Pride and Priscilla look like Rocky and Rambo by comparison. With early cameos from a Spice Girl, Lulu, Graham Norton, Rylan Clark, Dame Edna and Biggins it wraps itself in the gay flag with sequins on from the get go. Later it even goes to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern with a sing-a-long from a hundred drag queens led by La Voix and Jodie Harsh so this is gayer than Ricky Martin doing Louie Spence in the front row of an ABBA reunion show with Kylie holding the lube and we just love it.

    Cast – Basically everyone – All the main cast Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, Julia Sawalha, Jane Horrocks, June Whitfield, Kathy Burke etc plus endless cameos (see above) plus Kate Moss, Rebel Wilson, John Hamm, Jerry Hall, Joan Collins, Dawn French, Gaultier, Hilton, Tempah, McCartney and a hundred others.

    Key Player – Joanna Lumley has been gifted by Saunders with all the best lines for years and she does not just deliver them with her usual style she now basically lives inside Patsy’s skin making one of the most recognisable gay icon characters in history and this is her ultimate high-heeled platform to entertain.

    Budget – $20 million but it will make back a fortune. When TV comedy hits on film like The Inbetweeners or Alan Partridge it runs and runs as opposed to flops like The Harry Hill or Bad Education movies so the cash will rightly flow. The difference here is that this one will score overseas too especially in North America.

    Best Bit – 0.20 mins; When you get a great scene where the PR guru’s are in full mode planning a lavish event lead by Kathy Burke on powerhouse form closely followed by the star-studded hugely funny red carpet which is so fast paced that you want it to last a whole lot longer.

    Worst Bit – 90.00 mins; Nothing wrong with the film at all and it keeps the tone and laugh quotient high throughout. The big disappointment is the soundtrack which could have been a gay classic and a CD to treasure for years but nothing that exciting or inventive here so give iTunes a miss unless you really want an average version of Kylie rehashing “Wheels On Fire” and some French ballads.

    Little Secret – Dawn French in an attempt to get the film kickstarted bet Jennifer Saunders £10,000 that she wouldn’t have a movie script for Ab Fab finished by the end of the year (2015). Dawn lost when the script was delivered but later found that after page 35 there was nothing typed other then Blah, blah, blah. June Whitfield btw turned 90 during filming – go girl!

    Movie Mistake – TBH we were laughing so much that we didn’t notice any real bloopers. There was some average stunt scenes where obviously vehicles have no drivers in them or are male stunt drivers but who really cares, just enjoy.

    Further Viewing – All the camp classics like Bruno, Priscilla, Mamma Mia, Spice Girls The Movie, Pride, Too Wong Fu, Bridesmaids or anything starring Bette Midler or Judy Garland.

    Any Good – Never has a movie been so more appropriately titled. Yes it is very good, very funny and will deliver exactly what you are expecting. Basically if you are reading The Gay UK you have either already seen this or will be planning to very soon and there is not a single reason we can think of to make you change your mind. So time to smuggle in the Bollie and the nibbly little bits into your local multiplex and have a right good laugh, sweetie, darling.

    Rating – 15/100 (15th out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK filmatic heaven and 100 being a dud).

  • HOTEL REVIEW | Holiday Inn Express Portsmouth Gunwharf Quays

    HOTEL REVIEW | Holiday Inn Express Portsmouth Gunwharf Quays

    A friendly welcome and smile awaits you at Portsmouth’s Holiday Inn Express Gunwharf Quays.

    Hotel Exterior

    Right in the heart of the newly redeveloped Gunwharf Quays, just in the shadow of the famous Spinnaker Tower, Holiday Inn Express Gunwharf Quays couldn’t be more in the thick of the action if it tried.

    The 130 room hotel offers the perfect base for exploring the harbour city of Portsmouth in the south of England. Using this hotel as your base you’ll be able to discover the rich maritime history of Portsmouth with the abundance of museums and exhibitions in the local area, including the Portsmouth Historic Dockyard, just seven minutes walk from the hotel.

    The rooms look down on to the bustling pedestrian area of Gunwharf Quays, which is filled with restaurants and cafes. The hotel also managed to secure some brilliant discounts at some of the chain restaurants, including a personal favourite of Giraffe, where we were able to get a huge 30 per cent off our meal.

    Your receptionist will be able to help you out with the restaurants taking part.

    The hotel is a standard Holiday Inn Express, offering breakfast and WIFI in the price – and free parking for the first 24 hours – each subsequent day costing £2.00 – a great reduction in the normal parking costs for the Gunwharf Quay.

     

    Bedroom

     

    The hotel offers great sized, comfortable rooms, with two pillow options, hard and soft. It is slightly let down by its dispenser soaps and shower gels in the bathroom instead of individual soaps and shower gels, but it’s a minor gripe, when looking at over all value.

    The hotel is a short walk from Portsmouth’s only gay bar, the Hampshire Boulevard.

    It’s also the perfect place to stay if you’re planning to attend Portsmouth’s Pride, which is a stroll along the seafront to Southsea common.

    Portsmouth Pride takes place in June.

    Find out more about hotel on its website.

     

  • Theatre Review | A Dream – Crucible Theatre, Sheffield

    ★★★ | A Dream, Crucible Theatre, Sheffield

    A warm midsummer evening, a busy hospital, a plethora of patients and staff and a mash up of Shakespeare’s best characters come together in A Dream, where the most infectious thing doing the rounds on the wards is love. Written by Chris Bush, Sheffield People’s Theatre combines a collective talent of over a hundred people to interlace some of Shakespeare’s best-known works.

    Photo Credit – Mark Douet

    The stories include a doctor who falls in love with a cleaner; the love between two gay men, and the impact of their love upon their parents and the relationships between parents and children. Married couples explain the secret of their relationships longevity, whilst youngsters fall in and out of love as they try to find their own way in life. Add into this mixture a number of Shakespeare staples – the girl who disguises herself as a boy, distinctions in social class, the case of mistaken identity, the issue of families separated through tragedy. All of these familiar elements are pulled together in this production.

    Bringing A Midsummer Night’s Dream into modern times, via quips, quotes and characters from As You Like It, Romeo and Juliet, The Tempest, Much Ado About Nothing and Anthony and Cleopatra, A Dream makes for a whimsical and light-hearted evening which has a number of points of appeal. Chris Bush interweaves the lives, loves and stories of a number of characters, in an intertwining narrative which is light and bouncy. There are a handful of brief musical interludes and pieces of choreographed movement which are enough to keep the pace moving but not numerous enough to class it as a musical.

    But beneath the whimsy and the somewhat seemingly superficial storyline was something that had real heart. The show looks at different ways in which love can manifest itself and how love can transcend boundaries of age, gender, social standing and sexuality. There is a real heart to the show, nowhere more blatant than a very well-written tribute to those who work day in day out in hospitals; and who make a difference to people’s lives with every shift that they undertake.

    The show was presented well with an engaging clinical set and some good performances standing out amongst the masses. Some of the scenes seemed slightly superfluous, some slightly overlong and some seem to run out of momentum a little prematurely. But overall this is a well-written and crafted piece undertaken by a large cast of over one hundred enthusiastic performers.

    Similar in style to Dickensian, which recently graced BBC One; the show can certainly be enjoyed on face value, but there is also ample opportunity for spotting the Bard references for the more ardent Shakespeare fans. It is fitting that with the setting of the hospital and the over-arching theme of love, this show is a love letter to the NHS, to the theatre and to love itself.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Through The Mill, Southwark Playhouse

    ★★★★★ | Through The Mill, Southwark Playhouse

    CREDIT: Southwark Playhouse

    It’s Judy Garland times three in the new musical Through The Mill now playing at Southwark Playhouse.

    The show gives us Garland in three different stages in her life. There’s the young Judy before her Wizard of Oz role – ages 13 through 16 – brilliantly played by Lucy Penrose. Then we have the Palace Judy – the time in Garland’s life when she was performing on Broadway at the Palace Theatre, age 29 – with Belinda Wollaston in the role. Then finally we are presented with CBS Judy – the 47 year-old star (played by Helen Sheals) who was in the last year of her life during which she had her own television show on America’s CBS network.

    These three eras of Judy’s life are superbly intertwined in a show that’s both fantastic and tragic. We all know that Judy died at the age of 47 in London due to an over-dosage of barbiturates. But she had such a tumultuous life, and it didn’t make matters any better in that she was an extremely insecure, and nervous, woman. Young Judy’s father (played by Joe Shefer) ran a cinema, but he also had a predilection for young boys. Her mother Ethel (Amanda Bailey) was an extremely controlling stage mother. But Palace Judy’s life isn’t much better. By this time she takes various drugs just to help her get through her day (and to get her on stage). Her life seems to be a mess, though she’s got her husband Sid Luft (Harry Anton) with her at all times. By the tim CBS Judy (who actually opens the show with a rounding version of ‘Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries’) sung brilliantly by Sheals, her life seems to be on track, she’s got a hit television show, but the network keeps on demanding more and more from her. It’s too much for a woman as fragile as Judy, and though her death is not played out on stage, we all know what’s going to happen to her.

    Through the Mill is excellent. It’s all due to the three women who play Judy, they are all very good but it’s Penrose who shines a bit more because she plays a version of Judy that is young and innocent, and Penrose conveys that excellently. When Young Judy and Palace Judy duet on ‘Zing, Went the Strings of my Heart’ together in the intimate theatre, it’s an event! And when all three get together to sing the finale – ‘Over the Rainbow’ – there’s not a dry eye in the house.

    Director Ray Rackham, along with the rest of his crew, have staged a musical that’s larger than life in a theatre that’s as intimate as a living room. And the parallel timeframes used in this production is genius. Cleverly, the musicians also act in the show, from Carmella Brown who plays CBS Judy’s assistant, to Don Cotter who is very good as Louis B. Mayer, the head of MGM who greenlit Garland for Wizard of Oz.

    Please go see Through the Mill, even if you’re not a Judy Garland fan. It’s a fabulous show.

    Through the Mill is playing at the Southwark Playhouse until July 30th .

  • FILM REVIEW | Now You See Me 2

    NOW YOU SEE ME 2 – The sequel to the surprise hit magicians turned thieves movie from 2013. This time the bad guys from episode one are after revenge but nothing is what it seems.

    Nutshell – The Four Horseman magician team are in hiding after the events of the first movie. An attempt to bring down a ‘Steve Jobs’ type character goes badly wrong and they escape down a builders shoot in New York and come out the other end in Macau, China into the hands of a new techno wizz kid wrong’un! Who is the bad guy?, Who’s on the good side? It all turns in on itself many times like a coiling reptile with big set pieces, reveals and high drama like the best magic should with the years starriest cast.

    Time – 129 mins; Certificate – 12A

    Tagline – ‘Reappearing June 30th – You Haven’t Seen Anything Yet’.

    THE GAY UK FACTOR – Dave Franco the youngest of the horseman is just so damn cute and hot we just want to make magic babies with him all day and night. If you can watch this movie and not think about his ass all the time then you are better than us. As an added bonus Harry Potter himself Daniel Radcliffe turns up and boy is he starting to look a real hottie – Expelliramus, the boy has become a man

    Cast – Well known as the biggest starriest cast of the year with Jessie Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Mark ‘The Hulk’ Ruffalo, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Franco, Ratcliffe and the sexiest thing to ever come out of Devon the Divergent star Ben Lamb

    Key Player – This is Jessie Eisenberg’s film, The Social Network star has turned into an actor that draws the eye away from everyone in all the movies he is in. He is a true star here.

    Budget – $90 Million mostly in star wages but only made 65 mil back. A huge chunk of the film is located in China matching the current trend from films such as Transformers etc to directly target the huge Asian box office which may help this film’s figures.

    Best Bit – 0.58 mins; A break in to a high-tech facility which requires an extensive slight of hand set of tricks with a single playing card involving all five magicians.

    Worst Bit – Two huge problems firstly Isla Fisher is greatly missed as the female horseman and Harrelson’s twin character here does not fit and really annoys in every scene he is in and as for his hair and facial hair ? – it’s just some rubbish casting.

    Little Secret – Isla Fisher had to be replaced and the story rewritten due to pregnancy.

    Movie Mistake – Lot’s; The Dallas skyline is used for the second safe scene supposedly in China, The FBI’s GPS seems to be on the blink and pointing at all sorts of places in London rather than Greenwich as it should be and as for the Dave Franco doing the public street three card trick in Covent garden at the same time as hypnotizing a key character in Greenwich well now that is real magic!

    Further Viewing – Now You See Me 1, The Illusionist, The Prestige, Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire, Hugo, Legend and The Great Houdini.

    Any Good – Well it is all pretty confusing and don’t even consider it if you have not seen the first film. Basically this just isn’t as good as the original which was fresh, fun and exciting this seems like a straight forward repeat film without the fizz – a magic trick that just doesn’t really come off.

    Rating – 66/100 (66th out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK heaven and 100 being pants)

  • THEATRE REVIEW |Geist, by La John Joseph

    ★★★ | Geist, High-Camp Hedonism!

    Is there anything more delicious than desecrating a dead, pandrogynous diva? What could possibly beat the sick, violating kick of shredding every scrap of their scanty, psychic lingerie, rooting out lies, betrayals and filthily addictive truths? Someday, perhaps – long after privacy laws expire in a surveillance culture feeding-frenzy – we can feast on Bowie’s secret excesses, but meanwhile, there’s fictional meta-scandal Geist.

    The latest, multi-media assault on mediocrity by self-styled fascinatrix La John Joseph, Geist comprehensively dissects its’ messianic star’s life and legacy. Like Orson Welles’ towering Citizen Kane, the ambition is grand; a retrospective, faux-documentary excavation of deceased celebrity myth-making, of conflicting public and private truths.

    Better yet, Geist forcibly marries Kane’s scope to Malcolm McLaren’s viciously precise, punk-rock irreverence and the stinking, incest brats of Freudian guilt and raw egotism. It’s a sublime, sick-f*** polygamy, a Sid and Nancy puke on propriety and startlingly provocative theatre, an All About Eve reconfigured as snotty, waspish, rock ‘n’ roll swindle.

    So why, overall, is Geist unsatisfying? Certainly, La John bleeds visual charisma from every skin-pore, an unlikely but striking collision of Lucille Ball and effeminate, Cecil Beaton-immortalised Oxford dandy. Like fellow, flamboyant predecessors Brian Howard and Stephen Tennant – both icons of the 1930-33 Pansy Club Craze – La John fuses soignée aplomb with savage arrogance. And that – despite Geist’s visual and thematic brilliance – is precisely the problem.

    Just like Dorothy’s Tin Man in Oz, Geist comes across, ultimately, as a show without a heart. Somehow, we never warm to La John’s portrayal of Alexander Geist, his mercurial alter-ego. Possibly, that’s a result of deliberate distancing strategies, such as the preference for gender-neutral grammar that La John habitually employs. But why – speaking as a devil’s advocate – apply that strategy to an evidently cisgender, aggressively narcissistic male? Whatever La John’s intentions, what comes across is feminine mystique forcibly misappropriated and superglued to masculine rage. It’s an intensely jarring mix brilliantly avoided by David Hoyle, who radically transcends the car-crash insensitivity of an indiscriminate, pick ‘n’ mix plundering of gender politics.

    Yes, every artist is free to explore any subject, but why not avoid ham-fisted disconnects via empathy and respect for one’s mode of expression? That’s why the work of physically trans-morphing artists Nina Arsenault and Genesis P-Orridge is so passionately human; it’s a textbook, orgasmic intercourse of form, intention and content. La John, by contrast, unwittingly embraces the fallacy so brilliantly skewered by Joan Didion’s Year Of Magical Thinking, presuming that wishful dreaming always trumps reality. Ideally, he’s hoping to embody some transcendent, omnisexual Puck or Ariel, but the actuality onstage is mere pretty-boy petulance.

    So it’s a pity La John never risks exploring emotional vulnerabilities; Geist cries out for moments of soft, lyrical exposure beneath an inflexibly brittle surface. Ideally, I’d prefer to view the show’s smug, one-note waspishness as a deliberate critique of celebrity solipsism, but nothing here seduces the heart and soul.

    Rather, Geist’s appeal remains purely analytical, the solving of a performance art puzzle-box frustratingly devoid of divine madness. And who needs a faux film-noir inhabited by a non-stop, Mariah Carey diva strop? Hopelessly, I prayed that Alexander Geist would experience Marquis De Sade moments, the shocking, anecdotal bites of exceptional depravity that forcibly challenge all conventional moralities.

    Oh, don’t get me wrong; there’s much to enjoy in Geist, especially the multiple shoals of Hitchcockian red herrings cunningly orchestrated by director Robert Chevara. Still, creating intriguing innovations hugely challenges every contemporary director – virtually every pop-culture and media motif has been ruthlessly recycled, so even sheer brilliance seems passé. Not here. Staging Geist as a restless, cinema verité investigation, Chevara splits our focus between La John live, performance footage, and Geist’s sister/former/future self? – being video-interviewed.

    And choosing to include actress Francis Lima as a deliberate, unspecified sea of possibilities – who or what is she/he? – is Chevara’s directorial master-stroke. Instantly, Geist’s resonances deepen, as Lima’s serene, fascinating ambiguity provokes comparison with searing, Roman Polanski psychodramas – Repulsion and The Tenant – far beyond La John’s dazzling flippancy.

    Still, Geist is very much a work in progress, but even now, has the fabulous, if very faint, imprint of Michael Moorcock’s Jerry Cornelius novels. Never read Jerry? Don’t delay– he’s a multi-gendered, rock ‘n’ roll assassin simultaneously exploring contradictory versions of his own reality. Just like La John Joseph, in fact, who – with just a little fine tweaking – will emerge as Bowie’s flaming, ambisexual heir. We’ll all be watching with breathless awe.

    Follow Sasha Selvie on Twitter

  • FILM REVIEW | The Secret Life Of Pets

    THE SECRET LIVES OF PETS – Is this the best film of the year? A modern animation film with as much appeal for adults as kids – just like Pixar used to be with added heart and more laughs per minute than Mrs Brown’s Boys or Ab Fab.

    Nutshell – A group of pets have one hell of a day when their owners are out at work. Centred largely around two dogs that via a chain of events get themselves lost across New York and then fall in with some very bad animals indeed. The rescue is on from another hound in love. He meets, an overweight cat, some birds and a rodent and it is pure happiness from start to finish.

    You will laugh in the first thirty seconds and still be splitting your sides 90 minutes later.  Let’s make it simple; this is a classic and a must see. In this depressing Summer. This film is the tonic we all need and then some. Bloody fantastic.

    Time – 90 mins; Certificate – U

    Tagline – ‘Ever wonder what your pet’s do all day?’.

    THE GAY UK FACTOR – Don’t be sick, if you’re into animals in that way move on now. This is simply the best fun you can have with your clothes on.

    Cast – Voice cast of quality rather than pointless star names for the sake of it. Albert Brooks, Kevin Hart, Louis CK, Dana Carvey and Steve Coogan.

    Key Player – Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio and Brian Lynch the three writers that give us a fresh, fun, laugh out loud, thrilling and exciting story that all this year’s live-action blockbusters have failed to do.

    Budget – $75 Million only opened in a couple of European territories but we expect it to make over $150 million and climbing in a month then there are DVD sales, TV Deals, toy sales and a million other memorabilia marketing possibilities after all this is the team behind the Despicable Me series and look what they did with that Minions brand.

    Best Bit – 0.01 mins; Which is when you first realise how good this movie is going to be but we could have picked any of the 90 minutes right through to the superb Bill Withers song climax set piece.

    Worst Bit – There isn’t one. There we said it. Maybe if you don’t like snakes, there is a dark sequence in the middle that will leave you squirming.

    Little Secret – 2016 will go down as the best year for animation in history ironically in a year that has been largely rubbish for live action. With Zootropolis, Kung Fu Panda, Angry Birds, The Jungle Book, Ice Age and Finding Dory plus more to come all hitting really big the animated Oscar race will be cutthroat we presumed it was a shoe-in for Zootropolis, but now it is probably handing the trophy over to these furry critters.

    Movie Mistake – There is never any mistakes in animation just loads of opportunities for fun inserts, and here we have a lot of references to characters from the studios megahit Despicable Me series as well as posters on buses etc. for their forthcoming movie releases like Sing – never miss a chance for a few subliminal advertising guys.

    Further Viewing – Monsters Inc, Toy Story 3, Babe, Finding Nemo, Shrek, Zootropolis, The Jungle Book, The Lion King and anything else from Disney/Pixar or Dream Works with four legs.

    Any Good – Well Yessss! Hopefully, by now you will have got the message that this is unmissable. If you own a pet of any sort or love animals, then you will get even more out of this. Take your niece, your nephew, the noisy kid from next door but whatever you do go and see the most lovable group of animals since Mowgli set foot in the jungle or Babe learnt how to herd sheep.

    Rating – 6/100 (6th out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK heaven and 100 being pants)

     

     

     

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Savage, Above The Arts Theatre, London

    ★ | Savage

    PR Supplied

    Denmark is a country that has a long history of tolerance to gay men and same sex relationships were legal from 1933. With the German occupation of Denmark in World War Two, Copenhagen saw many of its previously openly gay men having to hide and flee. Dutch doctor Carl Peter Vaernet believed that he’d found a cure for this ‘disease’ of male homosexuality.

    The Nazis’ belief that being gay was an ‘abnormal existence’ that should be eradicated were sympathetic to his own and he was allowed to experiment on men in Buchenwald concentration camp. His methods were brutal with enforced injections of hormones into men’s testicles.

    There’s been a worrying emergence of far right wing groups in recent times and with politicians with links to religious ‘gay cures’ or terrible voting records on LGBT rights emerging from their creepy backwaters in quests for power, it’s a good time to be reminded of the lessons from history. Indeed, British history isn’t squeaky clean and in the 1990s the prime minister apologised for the enforced chemical castration of 49,000 men during the mid twentieth century.

    Unfortunately, well intentioned though Claudio Macor is in examining this subject matter, the play fails to engage or shed any new light on history. He focuses on a gay couple, one of who is arrested and experimented upon. Alongside this he offers a contrast to their situation by showing the relationship between a secretly gay, Champagne swilling Nazi officer and a cabaret artiste who he is keeping prisoner. The script feels messy and poorly written with lines that often feel melodramatic and trite. The Nazi general struts about, boasting of torture like something from a cartoon, people stare wistfully into the distance and utter philosophical lines about life and love with misty eyes. This should be a painful play to watch because of its theme but instead is excruciating for other reasons.

    The actors are too broad in their gestures for such a small and difficult space and the production is stagey with little hint of reality or genuine emotion. Only Nick Kyle as half of the gay couple manages to make much of the unwieldy script. On a positive note there are some excellent costumes from Jamie Attle and the set by David Shields is clever in making use of a limited area.

    Sadly this is definitely one to give a miss. You’ll learn more about the subject matter from a quick read of Peter Tatchell’s 2015 Guardian article and save yourself a couple of unentertaining hours.

     

    Savage plays at The Arts Theatre Upstairs until 23rd July 2016

  • THEATRE REVIEW | 1984

    ★★★ | 1984

    George Orwell’s classic book 1984 was not always going to be easily transferable to the stage. But a new production of it has just opened at the Playhouse Theatre.

    CREDIT: Manuel Harlan

    If you’ve ever read the book (either in school or for leisure), you will know the story. Written in 1949, when the year 1984 seemed like a long way off, Orwell wrote about a world where, simply, big brother is watching everything you do, everywhere you go. It’s like the present day North Korea where the government dictates how and where you will live your life, but it takes it to a bit more extreme in that anyone with an individual thought or who speaks bad about the government is punished, it’s a totalitarian state.

    The protagonist of the show is Winston Smith (bravely acted by Andrew Gower). He knows and understands that the world he lives in is bad, cruel, harsh. And he really hates it. He has put his thoughts onto paper, an illegal act if there ever was one. But there’s lots more to this complicated story, on the surface and underneath, and to explain it would be to write a very long explanation.

    But in summary, Smith has an affair with Julia (Catrin Stewart) and it all goes wrong for both of them. You see, they thought that a secret bedroom they were shown by a shopkeeper was free of surveillance, but it wasn’t. They’re rustled up and taken to prison where they are interrogated, and the shopkeeper turns out to be a spy for the government. Smith is labeled a ’thought criminal’ and is tortured, and comes face to face with his self-confessed worst nightmare – rats.

    A production of 1984 was produced by Nottingham’s Headlong Theatre company before embarking on a UK tour in 2013 and then had a sell out run at the Almeida Theatre. It’s a show that’s hard to watch. The story, and characters, are a bit complicated and not very well understood; we seen them but don’t really know who they are. And perhaps that’s the point. But it takes shock theatre to all new levels with lots of blood in the torture scene (the woman next to me had her eyes closed), and the use of very bright strobe lights used intermittently during the play which is very jaring. But it’s Chloe Lamford’s sets that keep 1984 in its time period – it’s a minimalist world where total surveillance is common.

    Credit goes to directors Robert Icke and Duncan Macmillan for putting together a show from a book that’s been described as complicated at best. And Gower gives an amazing performance as the literally tortured soul who is punished for his thoughts.

    If you can stomach a production of 1984, then this is well worth the effort. If you’re looking for something a bit light-hearted, then this show is not the show for you.

    1984 plays at the Playhouse Theatre until the 29/10/16