THEGAYUK

Category: Review

  • CAR REVIEW | Mazda 3 1.5 105ps Sport Nav Diesel

    Think Mazda and you instantly think Wankel engines, RX8, MX5 and porridge.

    CAR REVIEW | Mazda 3 1.5 105ps Sport Nav Diesel

    Mazda has a lot riding on their new Mazda 3 model and after my enjoyment with the MX5 l had high hopes for it too. Like other Japanese manufacturers, they changed the way cars were built in the 70s when reliability on a cold wet morning was more important than looks and parts availability across Europe.

    40 years later does the offering from Mazda still do today what the 323 from the 70s did back then?

    The 3 has grown up with the rest of the class reasonably well. Mazda have always made a good solid mid-sized family car that appeals to everyone but the young. They have never had that “go get ‘em” look. From behind it morphs into an everybody every manufactures hatchback. And this is a shame because the front is very bold and striking. The grill opens wide like a gaping mouth ready to eat all those in front of it. When everyone is making their shapes smooth and round, Mazda come along with a mixture of sharp edges and contoured flicks that blend it together. And then they slap the licence plate right in the middle of it all.

    The overall feel of the Mazda 3 is of one that is well put together. Everything works with a mildly notched smoothness that allows the senses to know where a certain switch is unlike some out there where the fluidity of the switch gear feels too floppy and loose. The standard centre control knob that allows for movement around the heads up infotainment system works well. So well that it is pointless trying to use the touch screen. Its reactions to inputs are either overly sensitive or  not working at all. At one point I thought I was going to push my finger through the screen! On the move it doesn’t allow the touch screen to be used anyway.

    Sadly it doesn’t get any better the further you dig inside. The cabin lacks so much of the expected norm these days like illuminated window buttons and door handles apertures. Scrabbling for window switches and mirror controls literally went out in the dark ages but still, Mazda feel there is no need for this touch of expectancy. And then there is that ruddy awful carbon fibre trim! I disliked the stuff in the 2000s and it is now out of date on a 2016 hatchback. Mazda though seems to love it and fit it to most of their range.

    There are other areas where the Mazda 3 falls flat on its face in the interior and that is around the column stalks. The moulding lines are more clear than on a plastic toy in a Kinder egg. It gives you in one hand and then takes it away in the other. There is great opposition out there in this segment that the Mazda 3 has to take on and it is cost cutting bits like this that kick it to the ground.

    Thankfully the engine and dynamics underneath can more than makeup for this give and take interior. The diesel engine is a wonder of refinement. The smoothness in the 1.5 DOHC 16 valve engine made me question on more than one occasion if I was actually driving a soot wagon. It pulls from the moment you’re on the move too well beyond its maximum in power. Its behaviour more reminiscent of a petrol engine. All this smoothness then came with the added bonus of a possible combined 74.3mpg economy and it got better and better with its well spaced 6-speed manual gearbox. All the actions were light and positive. The seating was beyond ‘just’ right that it made for a driving position that fitted the car to you with no compromises. This made the Mazda 3 feel right.

    The fittings of what held the wheels to the body have such positivity that it feels this is where the pocket-money of the Mazda engineer has been spent. Don’t be fooled into thinking the “Skyactiv” sticker is anything to do with wi-fi, Bluetooth or other such entertainment add-ons. It’s all to do with the construction. It’s a lightish car with a taut body. And this adds extra handling characteristics to aid the driver. Sure it would roll in a corner and you would pull off the power before it would with the traction control system. The back could become mildly wayward if you pushed it hard or did silly things like backing off the power abruptly mid corner but you had to provoke like a stick to a snake for this to happen.

    The Mazda 3 isn’t such a bad car. It has failings in many areas mainly inside but on the bits that make it go it does it so very well indeed. As a car to clock up the miles you could do far worse than this. It will take you from A-Z with a willingness to visit P-Q-R and S just for the fun of it on the way. For a car that will satisfy your desire in terms of making you feel special, it misses the target so badly. And that’s a shame because it has the potential to be so much more than it is allowed to be. Thanks, Mazda.

    Thanks, Mazda.

    Likes

    Driving dynamics
    Engine
    Refinement

    Loathes

    Carbon Fibre trim
    Some cheapness in places
    Lack of cabin illuminations

    The Lowdown

    Car – Mazda 3 1.5 105ps Sport Nav Diesel
    Prive – £22,485 (as tested)
    MPG – 74.3mpg (combined)
    Power – 105 bhp
    0-62mph – 11 seconds
    Top Speed – 115 mph
    Co2 – 99 (g/km)

    Find out more at www.mazda.com

  • RESTAURANT REVIEW | Del’Aziz Bermondsey Square

    RESTAURANT REVIEW | Del’Aziz Bermondsey Square

    Not every restaurant in the Old Smoke can claim to reside on top of medieval and Roman ruins, an 18th-century burial ground and an Abbey that once rivaled Westminster’s. Del’Aziz is tucked away in the corner of a smart seven-year-old development that was once occupied by Bermondsey Abbey.

    Del’Aziz Bermondsey Square

    Any eatery in proximity to hipster hangout Bermondsey Street has to be worth their weight in black habits. The trendy-Wendy haunt is lined with uber-cool coffee-houses, contemporary cocktail bars, and bustling bistros, most of which have standards as high as St Mary Magdalen church’s steeple.

    You can see why Middle East and Eastern Mediterranean restaurant Del’Aziz have given themselves quite a substantial nip-and-tuck to keep up with the ever-growing destination boulevard.

    Del’Aziz’s boasts a bar, bakery, and restaurant, which is where we were seated.  The dining area is a mix of turquoise walls, an empire-style chandelier in line with boutique five-armed crystal-drop chandeliers, pink, patent, plastic pillars and lime green chairs.  Had we side stepped into a GymBox spin studio or Jane Fonda’s boudoir circa 1983?  An identity is missing.

    We were chuffed the place wasn’t chocker as the tables either side of us would have learnt a thing of two about girthy u-bends.  My dining compadre’s home bathroom refurb was a hot topic.  A wee bit more space between tables would be nice.

    On recommendation, we kicked proceedings off with a couple of mojitos. When the drinkies arrived we were informed not to stir in the dark rum head thus giving us something to look forward to on the last few slurps. Not overpowered by mint, with enough lime to balance the sugar – the rum top worked.

    To get a sense of the full Middle East experience a mezze platter for two seemed appropriate. Hummus – sesame-esque with a good consistency.  Tzatziki – understated and fresh. Lamb boreck – a clear winner on the board – sweet, cumin-laced lamb wrapped in a crisp and oily filo pastry, the best roll we’d had in a while. Meatballs in a tomato sauce – more flavour in a Bic biro lid – bland. And merguez sausages – heavily packed with chili pepper and harissa shadowing the cumin but a decent banger all the same.

    To accompany the main our waiter lead us in the direction of Northern Italy with a bottle of Poderosa Monte Santu Il Vino Del Pane 2010.  Good choice – dry, full-bodied and energetic with light tannin – a chic racy number.

    For our mains: for me, grilled lamb steak, ‘imam bayildi’ aubergines. The steak was beautifully seared and tender. The gamey flavours were enhanced by onions, garlic, and figs permeating from the aubergines. And for my chum, chicken tagine, preserved lemons, carrot confit, olives and steamed couscous. As soon as the terracotta lid was lifted the citrus aromas could have unblocked the nastiest of bunged up honkers. Sadly, that’s where the excitement ended. The olives were limp and the chicken was cumbersome – it was like eating a Korma without the cream – now where’s the fun in that?

    Del’Aziz Bermondsey Square2

    Del’Aziz’s team are polite, chirpy and well suited to the Bermo-contempo borough.

    The bar area lacked any intimate nooks or segregated sections. But what the bar didn’t have in cosy alcoves it made up for in history. You can still see remains of the Benedictine monastery through the glass tiled floor – worth a butchers.

    To choose your pud you have to walk through the restaurant, past the loos, bar, and kitchen to the ‘bakery’ and choose your bake. This did not please my dining chum – the last time he walked past a kitchen was in Kensington Olympia at Grand Designs Live – he knows there’s one in his house because he overheard the chamber maid make reference to a room with an Aga. A pudding menu might well be in order.

    We shared a pink choc meringue and a blueberry crumb cake. The white with pink swirled meringue would have been better suited as headpiece or bulbous fascinator for Sydney Mardi Gras – maybe that’s where it came from? It was as dry as a cracked heel and missing the chocolate. The cake shared the same attributes and not a berry in sight – they must have caught the same flight.

    A meal for two won’t blow all ya spendies, not all the cakes are wearable and hanging with the Bermo-bohems ain’t such a drag.  Let’s just hope that Del’A hasn’t lost her zizzzzzzz.

     

    REVIEWED BY: Thabian Sutherland
    ADDRESS: Del’Aziz, 11 Bermondsey Square, London SE1 3UN
    TELEPHONE: 020 7407 2991
    EMAIL: bermondsey@delaziz.co.uk
    Price Rating: £££ (Explained)
    Star Rating: ★★★ (Explained)
    Tipping Policy: 12.5% discretionary tip will be added to your bill.

  • 60 SECOND FILM REVIEW: Eye In The Sky

    EYE IN THE SKY – Real Time Thriller, Real decisions behind fighting war long distance by drone & huge moral issues.

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  • Take A Good ‘Loft’ Around Berlin

    Take A Good ‘Loft’ Around Berlin

    Berlin is a principal political hub overflowing with history, monuments, and entertainment venues, and is highly regarded for its diverse architecture and high standard of living. Of paramount importance (to me) are the 24-hour train services, outstanding theatre, and the Friedrichstraße area (formerly East Berlin) that has an East Side New York feel.

    CREDIT: TTstudio-bigstock
    CREDIT: TTstudio-bigstock

    I frequently use Ryanair when flying to Berlin as the journey time of one hour twenty minutes from Stansted is sufficiently short for one not to realise the lack of comfort provided by an economy airline. Arriving at Berlin’s Schonefeld airport, one can get direct to the city centre in forty minutes. Purchase your travel pass at the airport tourism kiosks to save time (one-day, three-day or five-day passes can be bought). Berlin’s trains are easy to use and the lack of ticket barriers provides a feeling of trustworthiness and frees one from the obstacles such barriers can present.

    ADVERT

    [adinserter block=”1″]

    Turning to accommodation in Berlin, one is spoilt for choice. Ranging from five-star hotels to hostels and private apartments, these can be sought in prime locations. A prime choice of apartment for me would be Miniloft, which is located near Friedrichstraße, an area subjected to major rejuvenation in the downtown area of Mitte, noted for its upmarket real estate. Located in close proximity to the U-Bahn station and trams, Miniloft apartments offer accommodation in four authentic and eye-catching designs, prime location and a tailor-made guide for the tourist. Miniloft has fully equipped apartments with lift access, private entry control and comforting heated floors. There is a splendid light environment, complete with the convenience of blackout blinds. A ten-minute walk will find one surrounded by the chic wine bars and colourful eateries of the Mitte district.

    CREDIT: R.Babakin-bigstock
    CREDIT: R.Babakin-bigstock

    If one is looking for culture in Berlin, the theatre breaks offer an outstanding option, and entertainment features the Broadway likes of Chicago, The Blue Man Group, and Aladdin. One point of note is that dialogue and music are in the German language.

    CREDIT: PR Supplied
    CREDIT: PR Supplied
    CREDIT: PR Supplied
    CREDIT: PR Supplied
    CREDIT: PR Supplied
    CREDIT: PR Supplied

    Moving away from Berlin’s Broadway, stay at Minioft to explore the city’s East End, Berlin’s hip nightlife district. Europe’s largest show palace is located here, Friedrichstadt Palast, which contains the world’s largest theatre stage.

    With excellent accommodation, which can be found by visiting www.miniloft.com, and outstanding cultural, historical, and recreational attractions, a visit to Berlin is certain to provide maximum appeal.

    Why not treat yourself to a stay in one of Europe’s major cities, and absorb the atmosphere in Berlin, where there is an abundance of diverse attractions waiting for you to discover.

    Miniloft is from €113.30 in May

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Pleasure – Howard Assembly Rooms, Leeds and National Tour

    ★★★ | Pleasure

    Val works as a toilet attendant in Pleasure, a gay club somewhere in the north of England, acting as confidante, agony aunt, mother figure and friend to the young men who frequent the club. Matthew is a hopeless romantic, Nathan is unsure of his sexuality and the cabaret act, Anna Fewmore, is bitter and jaded by time. But lost amongst the urinals and dramas of the club, Val harbours a dark secret and a past which is about to catch up with her.

    Lesley Garrett as Val; Photo Credit: Robert Workman

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Written by Mark Simpson and Melanie Challenger, Pleasure plugs into both the cynicism and the optimism on display in the gay scene and looks at the secret lives, hidden pasts and major insecurities felt by many which remain hidden. Whilst Anna Fewmore sings “it doesn’t matter who you are, only what you appear to be”, there is optimism in the form of the bohemian Matthew’s ever persistent belief in love.  But all of this is juxtaposed with the sad, tragic and lonely figure of Val; and the reason why she continues to hide herself away in the toilet of a gay club.

    Simpsons score is an angular and jolting affair, which is oppressive and uneasy, mirroring the mixed emotions of the four characters and one which reflects the darker side of the gay scene; whilst Challenger’s libretto had moments which showed insight into the common fears of gay men. Lesley Garrett draws the attention as Val, Steven Page brims with bitterness as the jaded, acerbic cabaret star and Nick Pritchard and Timothy Nelson keep the burgeoning relationship between Matthew and Nathan on the right side of tender with just a hint of homoeroticism.

    Pleasure is quite a dark examination of the tragedy of hidden lives, of the feelings that people so often keep to themselves, and of the pain and hurt hidden by someone amongst their acts of kindness to others. When someone mentions opera, you wouldn’t necessarily imagine Lesley Garrett scrubbing toilets in a seedy gay club, which is what makes Pleasure such a bold attempt at a contemporary opera.

    With its stripped back presentation, Pleasure is a quite intense piece of theatre. Its operatic style and the themes explored make it a production which is not just challenging; but also which is not necessarily an easy watch. It requires the concentration and attention of its audience throughout but ultimately rewards the focussed viewer.

    Pleasure is currently showing at the Howard Assembly Rooms in Leeds before touring to Liverpool Playhouse (4th May 2016); Aldeburgh: Britten Studio, Snape (7th May 2016) and Lyric Hammersmith (12th – 14th May 2016). For details and to book tickets visit www.operanorth.co.uk/productions/pleasure

  • FILM REVIEW | Friend Request

    FILM REVIEW | Friend Request

    ★★★ | Friend Request

    Be careful when you accept a Facebook friend request, because the person requesting might be a lunatic.

    Friend Request

    That’s the premise behind the new movie ‘Friend Request.’ In it, popular girl Laura (Alcia Debnam-Carey) briefly speaks to loner Ma Rina (Liesl Ahlers), who is a bit out of place at school with her unusual appearance and head always covered by a hoodie. In Ma’s mind they are now friends. So Ma sends a Facebook friend request to Laura, but Laura notices that Ma has zero Facebook friends. Laura reluctantly accepts the friend request much to the dismay of her boyfriend Tyler (William Moseley) and best friend Olivia (Brit Morgan). Ma then starts commenting on practically every post that Laura has ever written. Ma becomes more psychotic and weird when Laura has a birthday dinner but doesn’t invite Ma. When Ma sees photos of the party on Facebook, she becomes angry at Laura and goes from friend status to psycho bitch stalker status. Then it’s announced at school that Ma has committed suicide, yet someone is posting dark eerie video on her pages and on Laura’s page, and Laura is unable to unfriend her. And Laura’s friends are unable to deactivate their accounts as well, and one by one they are being killed off due to their association with Laura. While Laura’s 800-plus Facebook friends start unfriending her, who is behind the deaths and the constant Facebook postings? Will Laura be the next victim to Ma’s revenge from the grave?

    ‘Friend Request’ is a film for the Facebook generation. It’s all about collecting friends, whether you really know them or not, and living your life, through Facebook. As the intensity of ‘Friend Request’ builds, it gets a bit sillier and sillier, especially with lines like when Olivia tells Laura to ‘unfriend the dead bitch.’ Then a policeman says – with a straight face – ’someone had a rough day,’ after the brutal death of one of Laura’s friends. ‘Friend Request’ echoes films like ‘Carrie’ and ‘Final Destination’ where friends are killed off one by one, so the body count is there but the suspense really isn’t. And some of the death scenes are a bit ridiculous and over the top. But should you accept this friend request? I say yes!

  • MUSIC REVIEW | Lemonade: Is Beyonce back?

    MUSIC REVIEW | Lemonade: Is Beyonce back?

    ★★★ | Lemonade

    So Beyoncé has released her latest album Lemonade, along with the visual film of it. I must say I was slightly apprehensive about it at first because her last couple of albums I haven’t really enjoyed apart from maybe a handful of the tracks.

    Lemonade

    I decided to go with the full experience and watch the visual version of the album, and I must say I was actually fairly impressed. The film tells a story so it’s something you have to watch the whole of to understand.

    Now obviously as a proper fan I can quite safely say that while I absolutely love Beyoncé, I can also call her out for releasing some crap in the past (not sure why she’s drinking watermelon, and what’s a surfbort?) and for the first 20 or so minutes of the visual album I was not feeling it, she was going along with the hard edged style that is obviously influenced a lot by her husband Jay-Z, but track 4 (Sorry) came on, and while there was still a hard edge style to it, it didn’t seem so aggressive so my ears perked up and I thought you know what I’ll give this album a chance, but my dreams were slightly dashed by Track 5 (6 Inch) that went straight back to the style I didn’t like. I started to zone out slightly but I was determined to stay the distance of the album.

    Suddenly I found myself jigging along to the track Daddy Lessons, this was so different from what had already been heard, it was bouncy, and almost a country style, and I was actually smiling while listening, and my hopes were well and truly raised, and the subsequent tracks I actually really enjoyed, and they all seemed to have different styles, from ballads to heartfelt gospel tracks.

    For the visual album, people might not really understand what Beyoncé is trying to say, and like the Formation video, it is unapologetically black and supportive of black women especially, but is also personal where she seems to be talking about the fact her husband allegedly cheated on her and her journey towards forgiveness.

    All in all, while the album isn’t on the same level as I Am…Sasha Fierce, Dangerously in Love or B’day it was enjoyable enough and I actually quite liked around half of the tracks and a few of them you’ll end up humming to yourself.

    Lemonade is out now, available on Tidal, iTunes and with the potential of Spotify in the near future

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Doctor Faustus

    ★★★| Doctor Faustus

    Picture Matt Humphrey

    The story of Doctor Faustus, the man who sells his soul to the devil, is an enduring one that translates well to the modern age. People can become elevated to giddy heights and accrue endless riches and advantages in the realms of celebrity and politics through seemingly mysterious and nefarious means. It’s still tempting to wonder what kind of pact they might have made whether spiritual or, more realistically who they’ve trampled on and betrayed along the way. The truth is probably less titillating and more prosaic. Doctor Faustus was originally published over 400 years ago but retains its relevance.

    The original author Christopher Marlowe is an Elizabethan enigma; dying in a much speculated upon pub brawl at the age of 29. His writing contained openly queer characters, complex romantic relationships and overtly homoerotic prose. Was he a gay man, a spy or a wily criminal? The speculation has lasted centuries along with his plays.

    “Doctor Faustus” opens with a gloomy dwelling with a Hieronymus Bosch style twist of hellishness. Dark figures loiter, hands reach around doors and faces are pressed against the windows. Naked figures move forward, blood flows and sedated looking humans in stained underwear creep around the set. Take your eyes off Kit Harrington (which isn’t easy as he’s incredibly handsome) for more than a few seconds and more horrors appear. Figures appear halfway up the walls, lurch out of doorways and materialise as if from nowhere. It’s actually really quite terrifying. This isn’t a production for the feint hearted. The warning list on the way in is quite impressive with a list of what horrors await you. Instead of the usual ‘theatrical haze’ and ‘strobe lighting’ there’s an itinerary that would make Mary Whitehouse turn in her grave.

    Kit Harrington proves that he can really act with an incredibly powerful performance. He’s also almost naked on a few occasions and that’s no bad thing. Jenna Russell (last seen in ‘Grey Gardens’) is on her usual top form as Mephistopheles. There’s also a very able supporting cast, a stunning and cunning set by Soutra Gilmour and appropriately intense sound and lighting design.

    All good so far but sadly the good stuff is very good and the bad stuff is very cringe-worthy. The Elizabethan script works as does the modern script by Colin Teevan but the two don’t blend together well. In fact, they positively jar. The modern allusions to celebrities and politicians are a little painfully awkward and the humour often falls flat. The second act starts with Jenna Russell singing “Bat Out of Hell”. It’s a bizarre beginning but definitely a sight worth witnessing. The action then flails somewhat and the atmosphere is shattered with skits that often feel silly, although fortunately the play always manages to pull itself back.

    Strongly recommended to see some amazing work from the lead actors (provided you can cope with violence, blood, faeces and sex) but ultimately, Dr Faustus fails to deliver all that it promises.

     

    Doctor Faustus plays at the Duke of York’s theatre until 25 June.

     

    @chrisb715

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Funny Girl

    ★★★ | Funny Girl

    CREDIT: Johan Persson

    Is there anything Sheridan Smith can’t do?

    She’s now playing Fanny Brice in the new West End musical Funny Girl, but Smith has done quite a bit in her short 34 years. Already an OBE, Smith has won tons of awards for her work both on stage and on television. She’s won two Laurence Olivier Awards (Legally Blonde in 2011 and Flare Path in 2012) and one television BAFTA (Mrs. Biggs in 2013). Smith has also been featured in several films in the past few years, including the recent The Huntsman: Winter’s War and 2013’s Powder Room and The Harry Hill Movie. But it’s her role as Brice in Funny Girl that’s bringing Smith more plaudits and acclaim.

    In a role Smith starred in last year to sell out crowds at the Menier Chocolate Factory, it’s now transferred to the Savoy Theatre for a short 6 month run. Smith plays Brice, a role which made Barbra Streisand famous (and which won her a Tony and an Oscar), so Smith has huge shoes to follow. And does she fill them? Not even close.

    Fanny Brice is the true story of a young Brooklyn born Jewish girl with huge stage aspirations. The real Brice was born in 1891 to Hungarian immigrants who had arrived to the US as children but managed to make a life for themselves and their children in Brooklyn. So Smith’s job is to make you forget Streisand’s Brice and reinvent the character to make it her own. And she does in her own way. She’s charming and lovely and can sure belt out a tune. Songs made extremely memorable by Streisand – ‘People’ and ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade’ – are sung by Smith, good enough for this production, but not very memorable. And we’re supposed to believe that the handsome, debonair, charming (and con man) Nick Arnstein (Darius Campbell – perfect in the role) falls in love with her and not for her money. She’s so in love with him that she certainly can put up with his gambling habits and dubious investments. But even Brice can’t figure why he’s fallen for her, and neither can the audience.

    Brice does find fame and fortune as a performer, with a proud Jewish mother (Marilyn Cutts) by her side all the way, living her dream by being employed by the great Florenz Zlegfield (Bruce Montague). But the crux of the show is the relationship between Brice and Arnstein, it’s a volatile one but not quite believable, and it’s a shame that the show isn’t more about Brice’s talent and less about the relationship. Smith is given her moments, and she gives it all she’s got, a bit over the top at times (her Brooklyn Jewish accent is a bit over exaggerated at times).

    There are no amazing sets, and no showstopping numbers as in most musicals. But great costumes and an excellent supporting cast, with classic musical numbers, makes Funny Girl worth a look.

    It’s not a very memorable production but it’s clearly a star vehicle for Smith, and she makes it her own.

    Funny Girl plays at the Savoy Theatre until October 2016, 0844 871 7687

  • THE 60 SECOND FILM REVIEW | The Huntsman : Winter’s War

    THE 60 SECOND FILM REVIEW | The Huntsman : Winter’s War

    Two Hours of Chris Hemsworth wielding his very big chopper and chasing some very big men with it.

    CREDIT: Universal Pictures

    Nutshell / Hollywood pitch – Let’s make a prequel/sequel to the successful 2014 film where Snow White means Game Of Thrones. All other sequels go darker and moodier but here we go lighter and up the comedy and the action beats too boot. Evil Queen has even more evil Sister who has watched too much Frozen as like Elsa she can control snow and ice but here without bursting into ‘Let It Go’ at regular intervals. Chris Hemsworth has to save the day in the land where love has been banned yet he can’t help feeling the need to breed so he sets off on adventures to avenge a death…  It has a decent midway twist and Charlize Theron hamming it up superbly in two important sections in the secondary villain roll and you won’t be able to take your eyes off her when she is on screen.

    Time – 114 mins of swashbuckling action with slow parts.

    Certificate – 12A so the fights are very user friendly.

    Tagline – None – Preferring to go with “From The Makers of Maleficent” and ” From The Makers Of Alice In Wonderland”.

    THE GAY UK FACTOR – A full length feature in the company of the ultimate muscled man of the countryside Chris Hemsworth The Huntsman himself who can hunt us anytime – You can virtually smell his pits and testosterone through the screen this is one serious big Alpha male guy, unfortunately with one of the worst haircuts in movie history this time out. On the upside he does briefly decide to get into the bath naked which stills have already flooded across the internet on every gay blog and wank site.

    Cast – The Aussie Hunk Thor Chris Hemsworth and the South African beauty and Oscar winner for Monster Charlize Theron. Another Oscar worrying actress from The Help and Zero Dark Thirty Jessica Chastain plays the love interest and Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada) round out the very heavy girlie cast which may be the reason for it’s average Box Office success. The supporting cast is Nick Frost (Shaun Of The Dead), Sheridan Smith from the superb TV Drama Cilla and Rob Brydon from BBC’s Would I Lie To You?, Gavin and Stacey and even Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

    Key Player – Mirror mirror on the wall who is… you know the drill. Charlize Theron does not have a huge screen time here but like the first film she dominates and steals it from everyone else and she seems to be having such fun maybe she should do a lot more villainess roles. We could all do with her evil mirror if it makes us this attractive.

    Budget – A not cheap $115 million. It hasn’t opened in the States yet but only garnering $44 million Internationally it maybe the first flop of the Summer blockbuster season. The previous film in the series made $396 million let’s put it simply, this one won’t. 

    Best Bit – 1.02 mins; The central fight scene in the woods and over a rope bridge with some very nasty creatures is the high point here. It is tense, well directed and the monsters are very good indeed and pretty unstoppable.

    Worst Bit – 1.18 mins; The big spectacular action sequence where Hemsworth has to climb a mountain and assail the villains castle roof tops should be a thrilling stunt fest with hands over your eyes moments and fingernails dug into your armrest’s but it just isn’t – Diehard With A Vengeance this is not.

    Little Secret – Charlize Theron was reportedly offered a lot less money to reprise her role in this film than Chris Hemsworth and she refused to sign on. Later the producers agreed that she was a big star and an International draw in her own right and raised her money up to $10 million for the movie exactly the same as what Chris got.

    Movie Mistake – Normally we would point out the bloopers and continuation errors but there is something bigger here. He is great to look at but Hemsworth’s accent here hits like a badly cast BBC 70’s comedy. When they move North the characters go all Scottish and when they go West they go Welsh – no problem for Rob Brydon but his three side kicks come over more like Bonnie Tyler, Charlotte Church and Gareth Thomas with bad head colds.

    Awards – Charlize and Jessica are massive award magnets but Chris is pure action man who will never get any gongs. The last film won nothing and nor will this except some Golden Rasberries for those accents.

    Further Viewing – Game Of Thrones, Snow White & The Huntsman, Maleficent, Alice In Wonderland and all Disney’s revamped darker versions of former cartoon fairytales, Thor, The Lord Of The Rings and Hobbit trilogies and a million fantasy sword and dragon movies.

    Any Good – Well you will certainly get your monies worth as a lot of that hundred mill is up there on the screen. It’s a decent Friday night out which won’t change your life. We just wonder if more Theron and some other male leads would have helped somewhat.

    Rating – 76/100 (76th out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being Gay UK filmatic ejaculatery heaven and 100 being as much fun as a long haul International flight next to a screaming baby whilst you are trying to concentrate on Thor The dark world.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | FOLK

    Holy, Unholy and everything in between. Folk was heavenly humorous but had also many notes of devilish charm that tickled many funny bones in the audience.

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