Is a man of mystery sexy? Or is there something a little bit more sinister going on behind his smoky allure? You may ask or question if mystery is still even achievable with pretty much our life stories being available via a bit of Google and Facebook detective work. But the kind of mystery that I am typing about is that which belongs to a person who face-to-face only gives you glimpses into their soul and small pieces of a puzzle. You may never get all the pieces of the puzzle, and if you do, the final picture will look like a poor man’s Picasso.

Beware the man of mystery. Mr. Mysterious may strike you as intriguing, challenging, perhaps described by others as a tough nut to crack. So if you find that you are beginning to lose yourself in his eyes, and are interested in knowing more about him, then just be careful how much of yourself you are trading in return for their portion regulated control. Every piece of information divulged is surely to be orchestrated and rehearsed. A man who feels at home basking in the air of others uncertainty and gets off on thinking about you thinking about him, is usually the dullest person you will ever encounter. I’m sure that description has just brought someone you know, or have known, forward in your mind.

Mystery is not to be confused with one being shy either. A shy guy will seem socially uncomfortable, perhaps not overly keen on too much eye contact etc. Mr Mysterious, will be quite comfortable in kicking back and resting his feet waiting for you to flock and delve into a conversation with him. Mr Mysterious will maintain eye contact and control any silence in conversation making your brain do the overtime and make you do all the effort. Essentially he cannot be bothered and is used to having things and people served to him on a platter for his perusal.

Mystery is created, because they don’t actually know who they are or have a lot to say about themselves. They are more likely to speak about the present and what is happening in the now. When speaking about the future it is usually sprayed with a rainbow neon finish creating an exciting, colourful, and idyllic end goal. The past is glazed over like it never even happened and you’re likely to only ever see pinholes of childhood and “previous life”. This allows you to imagine, create, fantasise about who they could be, which immediately makes them seem more interesting than what they actually are.

This man may appear emotionally like a broken bird. Do NOT feed the birds. It is you who will end up broken in your quest to fix them, should your nature be of the “fixing” kind, like mine. Although I am sure you had already come to the conclusion that I speak here from personal experience.

The idea of mystery sounds great to begin with, and has always been bigged up by romantics; mysterious eyes, tall / dark / handsome etc. What even are mysterious eyes? What would they look like? To define mysterious in the dictionary, it reads; “difficult or impossible to understand, explain, or identify”. So it would seem that the word mysterious may be used in place of a more creative description that escapes the person paying the “compliment”. Not so sassy. I will literally puke or punch if I’m told I have mysterious eyes. Alternatively, awkwardly challenge them on their choice of words. It’s unlike me to not just sit back and lap up a “compliment”- but for me this expression is an absolute compliment / conversational sin.

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Perhaps we perceive mysterious eyes as an attractive attribute, as eyes are commonly linked to the soul, and if they are perceived as mysterious – then it means we are protected, and hidden away from open fire. In our open book society, we may tend to latch onto anything that would suggest we are akin to an enigma or the unknown.

In reality all mystery is, is withheld simple, straightforward information that isn’t very significant at all if it were to be said normally. But the fact that you cannot get to the information makes it seem much bigger than what it really is. When simple information isn’t shared with us we then start to build a complex about what other information may be withheld, which does not set a great footprint for the beginning of any friendship or relationship.

I suppose I personally am at a time in my life where I want life to be as straightforward as it possibly can be. I do want to settle down, and have adopted a zero-tolerance regime when it comes to a time waster. The problem I have with “mysterious men” is that there is never really a commitment from that person. They keep their options open just in case something better comes their way but will use you to their advantage in the run up to the inevitable demise. By never revealing themselves wholly they remain guarded and detached.

And actually, I no longer have the time to try and crack these tough nuts, it is boring. You either want to share that information and yourself with me, or you do not. The great Oscar Wilde once said, “the true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible”. Life can actually be very simple if we allow it to be. This is why Mr Mysterious, is not for me.

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