So, you’re sitting there, politely minding your own business when BOOM – you’re 47! Now what?

One minute you’re partying like it’s 1999, then suddenly it’s sometime in the mid-2010s… and you’re worried about heart beats, not beats per minute. Nightclubs don’t hold the same attraction anymore, but Murder She Wrote can hold your attention for hours at a time. Life is less about Girls Aloud and more about The Golden Girls.

This series of pieces is about growing up and growing old in today’s gay world. How do you plan to grow old? Gracefully or disgracefully? Do you want to be one of those people who gets to a certain age, and stops – holding back time with Botox, face lifts or clothes pegs at the back? Do you still intend to be shopping in Top Man at 70?

What are your options as you grow older? What lovely surprises are in store for you? At what point do you end up with more hair growing in your ears than on your head?

I find myself struggling with the ageing issues as I creep slowly towards the grave. In my head I’m no age at all – I can wear what I want, admire hairstyles and think I could carry that off, my music tastes are more Lana Del Ray than Englebert Humperdinck.

However, I am finding myself more attracted to things I used to associate with my parents. I’ve joined the National Trust and love it. I can’t stand loud music in pubs any longer – I prefer being able to hold a conversation. I find Victor Meldrew to be more a role model than a comic figure – but still not a fashion icon (although I am loving his cardigans!)

On the health side, I can’t eat and drink what I want anymore – without suffering the consequences. Everything goes straight to my waist and it is now expanding at a rate of knots, less middle aged spread, more late middle aged spread. Gym time has always been a mystery to me but I’ve come to realise that it has its place, just not in my life!I spend time pondering pension provisions, where my nearest Waitrose is and battling constant backache rather than clubbing, staying out all night, and ogling the tottie on display.

What used to appeal has shifted somewhat – looking at gorgeous young men doesn’t appeal nearly as much as it used to. Being totally honest, I still look, but it feels wrong somehow when you’re old enough to be their dad! At what point do you stop? Regular viewers of my blog will know I haven’t reached that point just yet.

When I was young, someone my age was considered old, and there seemed to be certain points in life where you, as an individual, aged and moved on. Middle-aged men weren’t fashionable, they wore lots of comfy beige from M&S. After middle age, you slipped slowly into old age and My grandparents dressed and acted like OAP’s were expected to – but today things are different.

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People seem to stay younger longer, not just in their appearance, but in their outlook on life too. People are grandparents in their 40’s these days, having had their children earlier in life – however, time marches on, changes take place and you can slow it down but it still happens.

My hope is to pop on my specs, fasten my cardi against the chill and take a close look at the issues we face, seriously and humorously!

If there is anything you’d like to me include or cover, let me know….

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Next time: incontinence, impotence and male pattern baldness – just kidding!


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About the author: Chris Jones
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Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.