As a kid growing up I was always fascinated with the muscular bare chested men in Disney films. As an adult, sadly these fascinations have stuck with me. Yes I admit, cartoon men in unrealistic realms do it for me. So who were your Disney crushes? Which characters did you wish were gay?
1. Aladdin – Aladdin
A flying carpet, knows someone who can get you anything you want – no questions asked – and a pet monkey. None of these even matter when you have a toned body, smooth and waiting to have baby oil rubbed in all over! Ok, I’m good, he’s just a drawing… When will someone show me the world?
2. Tarzan – Tarzan
He may be a swinger but who wouldn’t want to live in the trees? Holding on to his warm muscular body feeling the wind in your hair, before returning to the tree house for forest fruits, waterfall wine and a game of ‘what’s being smuggled in the loin cloth’.
3. Prince Charming – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Just one kiss would break the spell. Just one kiss. Some guys it takes 7 pints to break the spell! How could any man not fall for this dashing well presented man. A stack of cash, flash transport and a large castle. I’ve always wanted to live in a castle.
4. Bashful – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
How could any man resist those eyes? Ok so the charm may wear off after 5 minutes and you may end up wanting to slap him and scream ‘Oh for goodness sake get a grip’, yet there is some charm here and at least he’ll be out all day working. May want to buy him a razor for Christmas.
5. Prince Eric – The Little Mermaid
Another good looking prince, quite possibly the twin brother of Aladdin… Muscular and rich this Prince would make a perfect hubby, just don’t take him shopping for a garden pond, it may bring back past problems he’s faced falling in love with sea-creatures and that took a lot of counselling to correct.
6. Lucius Best – The Incredibles
What a hunk and he comes in his own lyrca suit – which happens to be right up there in perfect boyfriend material along with financial security, emotional stabilty and the ability to drive. Also Lucius has the ability to make ice on demand – perfect for our Long Island Ice Teas and G&Ts.
7. Prince Edward – Enchanted
What can I say, he’s a Prince and I’ve always loved a man in velvet. You’d have to be careful with this one though, one minute he’s in the real world, next he’s in the realms of fantasy… hmm maybe not that bad after all. Can be a little clumsy but that only adds to his charm.
8. Sulley – Monsters Inc
Look who’s coming out the closet. The Ultimate Bear. An interesting colour choice, which may not go down too well at XXL, but would be every baby bear’s dream. Cuddly, a great laugh and when required able to fight off any of life’s problems with an almighty roar!
9. Woody – Toy Story
Wouldn’t we all love a woody in our life? Always up and ready for action, this go get ’em cowboy may not be top of the list for fashion or designer labels but he is very good with a rope.
10. Donald Duck – Cartoons
Usually dressed as a sailor and often enjoys a good joke, at other peoples’ misfortunes, this little duck just needed some male companion to keep him out of trouble (or get him into more). However he is prone to tantrums when things don’t go his way so requires someone very patient.