We Are Gay UK

PROBLEM AUNTY | My bf’s dad was feeling me up last Christmas

The B*tchiest Agony Aunt is back… and ready to help with your Christmasy issues.

*She doesn’t really care

Dear Aunty,

Since writing to you last Christmas for advice, about meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time, I find myself in an even more desperate situation and in need of your help again.

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Last December 25th I was sat around my boyfriend’s parents’ table about to start our turkey dinner when, what I thought was my bf’s hand stroking my inner thigh, turned out to be his dad’s hand.

Last December 25th I was sat around my boyfriend’s parents’ table about to start our turkey dinner when, what I thought was my bf’s hand stroking my inner thigh, turned out to be his dad’s hand. I was startled and didn’t know what to do, so I picked up my phone pretending I had a call and made an excuse to leave straight away. I didn’t say anything to my boyfriend as I didn’t want to upset him. This year we’ve been invited back again… Should I tell my boyfriend about what happened last year, or should I make excuses and avoid going?

Thanks, Gary – Hull

Dearest Gary,

I’m sorry to hear you have a “problem”. Now, I say “problem” like this as I’m actually struggling to find what the “problem” is with having someone show you some unexpected attention. I’ve always found it a compliment. When I was a young glamorous star, at an Old Victorian Theatre, I always found XXXXXX XXXXX would often make me feel XXXXXX XXXXXX whilst sucking on a XXXX and his lemon sherbets.

Of course, I was glad, as it was a great opportunity to meet the others who’d come over from Hollywood that night. There was  XXXXXXX, XXXX, XXXXXXX, oh and XXXXX. What a night that was. There was XXXXXX everywhere!

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So, what am I trying to say? As a young chap, you should be grabbing all experiences in life. Sit, eat be merry and let the games commence. After all, no-one plays Scrabble anymore. It’s all Happy Families and you never know, your boyfriend may well be a seasoned game player and just trying to bring you into the festivities. Cheers, you lucky thing.

XXXX = (Edited for legal reasons)

Aunts

Aunty is an unlicensed, unqualified, drunken lush, who wants to hear from you, and you shouldn’t take any of her advice… Ever. 

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