We’ve all done the vanilla thing, perhaps we’ve done the dressing up thing, maybe we’ve even gone a bit kinkier and done some light BDSM, so we want to know what’s on your bucket list?
Share your answers anonymously below and we’ll be writing an article about the nation’s secret gay sex bucket list!
If you can’t see the form click here to answer.
In January our focus will be on the nation’s sexual health – particularly for gay and bisexual men. We’re doing a little research up front to see what our audience thinks and feels about their sexual health – you can view all the answers now – as you proceed – and compare how you fit in with the rest of the gay UK!
Please answer all the questions that you’re comfortable doing…
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Every year it becomes a talking point amongst some in the gay community, but are the lyrics to “Fairytale of New York” offensive? We asked our readers… It sparked a lively debate, to say the least.
Most people who commented on our question, said no – and that they weren’t offended by the song. Here are some of our favourite comments to the question: “Should the lyric “faggot” be removed from Fairytale of New York?”
No. People need to chill out before we have to remove half of the English dictionary as one person or another finds something offensive – Ben
No, it’s attitudes that need to change not great Christmas songs, when did the idiots start running the asylum??? – Paul
I’m sick of people getting offended over ridiculous things. If you offended by the lyrics to this song you need to have a serious word with yourself – Gary
It should be changed. I also opt that the sky should be permanently replaced with a pink viscous gunge because that makes sense too – Dillion
Anyone with a decent understanding of the English language knows that the word has two meanings: 1 A savoury dish made from pork and 2 A bundle of sticks or twigs, no I didn’t look it up! – Graham
It was a phrase from the age. If we erase every offending word from songs, the world would be a very sanitised place. Somewhere I personally wouldn’t want to live. – Derek
No, it shouldn’t. People need to stop being so touchy. If anything ita a reminder of how far equal rights have brought us. I love that line. – Angela
I’m gay and not offended. As much as I’m glad attitudes towards a lot of things are changing it’s going to get to the stage where you can’t say anything in case of offending someone. – Robbie
Why remove a word calling someone a spicy meatball?
In seriousness though, a word is only as powerful as the meaning you give it. If you motion to get it removed, you’re part of the problem, because you are the one giving it negative connotations. We need to take words back, you’ll never change attitudes by doing things like this – it just alienates people and makes the words even more negative. Like telling a toddler not to say “fuck”. – Evelyn
I think it should be removed. Just as every song or rap that uses the n-word should be removed. Also fuck, arsehole and every other swear word or slur. Oh, we can’t do that because songs everywhere would lose meaning and expression? – Sam
I don’t think so I don’t like the word but it’s re-writing history which is more offensive. It’s a song and reflects reality just as with any creative medium. People saying it’s past tense to be insulted by the word live in a different world. I live opposite a school and I don’t know which is worse the homophobia coming from the kids or the parents hanging about the gates. – Jamie
I’m gay, and a dj…. and when I play it in a gay bar… I turn the sound off for that line and the WHOLE room sings it with glee at the top of their voices… point proved lol… so it’s not us moaning! – Matt
Leave it alone! If you had to start erasing things that upset people half the 20th Century would have to go! It was a sign of the times and something for people to look back and learn from. – Andrew
No. I still giggle hysterically when I hear the song played uncensored in shops at Christmas. It was a song of its time, we cannot rewrite or delete history. – Jamie
Use the comments below to have your say
We asked some of our readers about their three-way experience, needless to say, us gay guys are having a fair bit of threesome activity!
“Every other weekend mostly good occasionally embarrassing” – Tristan
“Have had many 3somes always have a good hot time Have at least once a month” – Phil
“…It was with two friends after a night out and I suggested that we had a threesome, however, me and my other friend wasn’t attracted to the other guy yet he wanted to do most of the work. Terrible at giving BJs as he kept biting me and my other friend so in the end we never finished because the thrill sort of speak went…
“At least I found out that I don’t like to be spit roasted. Plus it was in a caravan outside my parent’s house. So everyone could hear.”- Marcus
“It was actually quite fun! My last one was two men who were a couple. Their agreement was that they would never have an open relationship but will have sex with other people when both of them were present at that party. I was tempted to try double penetration but at the end didn’t dare!!!!” – Raha
“Good. It was fun, we all had a laugh, all very open-minded. Cuddled till we fell asleep. Then spent a few months in a poly relationship.” – Ian
“Was horrible, one bloke nice & the other not my type, I was feeling jealous of the nice one all the time, never want that again.” – Michael
“Yes and every number up to twenty.” – Roger
“Quite a few and I find its better if all 3 are single rather than a couple plus 1 extra” – Simon
“Yes in the past but in a lot of cases 1 person loses out. Not that’s everyone’s experience.” – Norrin
“We ended up in A&E. The position we were in led to an accident, one broken arm, stitches in head and a badly bruised hip. The staff tried not to laugh at us, but they found it funny.” – Simon
“Frequently. Me, myself and I.” – Andy
The term “Fag Hag” is a slang phrase that refers to a woman who hangs around and socialises with mostly gay or bisexual men. These women could be characterised as out-going, camp and very accepting of the gay community – but not always.
Most notable examples of a “fag hag” could be Linda La Hughes in the British sitcom, Gimme Giveme Giveme. US Comedian Margaret Cho has talked in her standup show about being a “fag hag” (but now prefers the term “dick widow” and the legendary performer, Pam Ann has also been described as a “fag hag” by many gay publications.
Some people find the term offensive, whilst others embrace it… Some consider the phrase a term of endearment, but in 2017 does this phrase need to be used?
Over to you – use the comments below to let us know your thoughts. Do you find the term offensive? What other terms could be used instead?
There are 16 questions in this survey and it should take no longer than 2 minutes of your time.
Can’t see the entire for? Click here
We’re researching what you think makes great sex – use the form below to let us know what you think makes the best sex – answers can be anon or you can use your name.
%20Syda_Productions%20%20Depositphotos_66820791_m-2015.jpg "People share what being gay means to them 9")
Everything. and it’s very strange because I never used to consider it an important part of my identity. (Jake, London)
Freedom and independence, but an ‘edited life’. I come from a wealthy upper middle-class background and came out when I was 18. The deal I reached with my parents was to be gay in London and not talk about it at home or with family. Being gay is not part of the values and culture of our family, friends or community in the countryside. It’s joked about, but only a few are down right discriminatory. So I am free and independent in London and lead an edited life where work, family, and friends back home are unaware. (William, Wiltshire, England)
It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. That I could wake up every day knowing that I didn’t have to hide who I was, that I could breathe freely without worrying who knows my secret. But I always think being gay isn’t the thing that defines me, being gay is one of the many parts of me. (Matty, Manchester, England)
To me ‘gay’ is a lifestyle, bars clubs, steam baths etc, I prefer the term ‘ men who has sex with men’ i.e. conventional in every way other than who I prefer to f*ck. (iphotoguys, Brighton, England)
Being gay for me is about freedom. The right to choose my own life and how I live it. It’s about being confident in who I am and not being afraid to show. No matter the opinions of other people, always having the confidence in myself to live the life I want and deserve. (Aaron, Preston, England)
Honesty. Genuine honesty. It also feels the most natural thing in the world. (Peter, Winchester, England)
I’m finally the true complete person I was meant to be. I’m still Dad, Son, Brother, to my amazing family and they are simply happy because I am happy. (Graham, Dudley, England)
5 years ago, being gay meant having to admit that’s I am different to all of my friends and my family. It meant that I had to stand out from the crowd when I had tried so hard to fit in before. It meant putting a target on my back at school and everywhere else I went. 4 years ago, being gay meant meeting a completely new group of friends, friends that I could be myself with and friends I knew I would have for life. It meant that I could sneak into clubs I was too young for and it meant exploring my sexuality. 3 years ago, being gay meant travelling the country to experience different “scenes” and finding my favourite places in the world. Being gay meant partying all day, every day with no excuses, regrets or apologies. 2 years ago, being gay meant reconnecting with an old friend who had newly come out. It meant meeting more new friends that I knew I would have for life, just like my school friends. Being gay opened me up to a world where there was no judgement only fun and funny times. Last year, being gay meant that I met the man of my dreams. It meant finding the one person who would love me for who I am and who I will grow into becoming. It meant changing everything I ever thought I knew about myself and finding new parts of myself I didn’t know were in me. This year, being gay has meant being part of a community that marches against people who refuse to accept the fact that we should be free to love who we love, however we choose to love them. This year being gay meant protesting for the Chechen LGBT community in my first ever protest. Being gay to me means having pride in who you are and not apologising for any second of it. (Leon, Birmingham, England)
It means my fabulous children, twins, a boy and girl. They are in their 50’s now. They have provided a treasure chest of unforgettable experiences, specifically because they’re gay. So special ❤️❤️ (Simply Sharon, Louisiana, USA)
That I can love all kinds of people but when I make love I do so without shame or reservation knowing that it is with a person based on mutual attraction, not social convention. (Philip, South-west England)
It’s part of who I am and makes me who I am, I’m proud that I’m gay and I’d happily help the LGBTQ+ community to feel just as proud as I do. It makes sure me different in a world of sheep. (Bella, Bristol, England)
Being yourself and for all people to accept who you are. (Ian Smith, UK)
It made me more aware of what is happening in the world. I also learned to say NO because I got into learning what is allowed and what is an act against my rights. And I also love to turn some people off by showing them that their insults don’t get to me because I’m gay and proud. (Lukáš, The Czech Republic)
Being myself and not living in fear of it. (Garry, England)
Not only about sexual attraction. It’s being emotionally involved with a same sex person. (Erwan, France)
Freedom, liberation, fearlessness, individuality. (M, London, England)
Happiness. (Rajiv, Mumbai, India)
Way of life. (Steven, Glasgow, Scotland)
Being attracted to men. No more, no less. (Sam, UK)
It means being who I am. Being able to live my life with out fear, and able to love my partner freely and together sharing our lives. (David, England)
Being gay represents part of who I am. It also allows me to see the world from a different perspective and analyse issues in another way. (Sean, Peterborough, England)
If I wasn’t gay I would never have met my wonderful husband. (Peter, Glasgow, Scotland)
I hid my sexuality till I was 26 yrs old, I grew up in a military family so when my father found out he left a nasty and heartbreaking letter for me, which I still have to this day at 48yrs, my mother was so loving, but now,22 yrs later my father is amazing. He has accepted it, he has met my partner, even gets angry as to why we can’t get married in this country. 
(Wayne, Sydney, Australia)
I don’t know what it’s like to be Straight. As long as I can remember I have not known anything else. Although I have had relationships with Women. It never felt right. And now been with my lovely Husband for 18 years.
❤️ (Richard, Birmingham, England)
I am gay and thankful for all those who have gone before to make my life a good one with rights and privilege that I enjoy as a gay man based in the UK. (Elijah, Swansea, Wales)
Came out five years ago after much denial, found my first boyfriend and never looked back. (Neil, Thurso, Scotland)
Everything. (Daniel, Sydney, Australia)
Happiness. (Paul, London, England)
Use the form below to let us know the totally and utterly annoying bisexual myths that need to be dispelled. We’ll publish your answers in a forthcoming article, so watch out for it!
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So what happened?
Go on spill the beans!