THEGAYUK

Author: Daniel Browne

  • OPINION | Why we need to take Yulia Volkova’s Anti-Gay Comments Seriouslydan

    If the word hypocrite was to apply to one person in the world right now, I would have to apply it to Russian fake lesbian t.A.T.u singer Yulia Volkova.

    By now I’m sure everyone has heard about Volkova making anti-gay comments, saying that she would not support her son if he was gay and banging on about gay people not being real men. It’s got us all talking about t.A.T.u again, long after they slipped from relevance, but whether it’s another marketing ploy or not I believe that we need to take Yulia Volkova’s comments seriously and consider the damage her words could do.

    I have to admit to genuinely being annoyed by Volkova coming out publicly as a homophobe, particularly when she used lesbianism to gain exposure for her band and to make money. I believe her comments to be dangerous. Russia is now well known around the world for being an anti-gay country that is seemingly going backwards in time towards the dark ages rather than progressing with the majority of other countries on Earth. Whether people here in the UK take Volkova’s comments seriously or not, there is potential for those comments to be inflammatory and lead to a rise in anti-gay feeling, not just in Russia but in other European countries where t.A.T.u remain popular.

    Another thing that annoyed me about Volkova’s comments was the fact that she used supposedly having gay friends in an attempt to demonstrate that she is not a homophobe. Sadly this is something that is all too common. I have lost count of the amount of times that someone has said “I have loads of gay friends, but…” before then going on to make a homophobic statement. These people need to understand that having gay friends doesn’t mean that they can’t possibly be homophobic in any way.

    Something else that Yulia Volkova is guilty of is reinforcing a stereotype. Apparently, two women together (i.e. lesbians) is more aesthetically pleasing than two men together (i.e. “fags”). Of course, all lesbians are hot and purely exist for the titillation of heterosexual men, but gay guys and the thought of two men having sex is vomit inducing. How disgusting. I hope you detect the sarcasm there, but it’s outrageous that there are people in the world who genuinely think like that. It’s that reinforcement of stereotypes that t.A.T.u built their whole career on.

    In 2002 t.A.T.u released All The Things She Said. It was a massive hit around the world and quite rightly too (let’s not forget what a brilliant song it is), but it played on lesbianism and the idea that being lesbian is hot or en vogue. The two members cavorted around in the rain, wearing school girl outfits (jailbait, anyone?) and kissing passionately. Lots of us were fooled by the act and believed they were genuine lesbian pop stars. The gay community championed them and the band rose to fame, while no doubt making a lot of money on the way. Then came the revelation that they are not really lesbians and it was just a marketing ploy. I went off t.A.T.u at that point, despite being excited by their music. Using or exploiting sexuality for fame or financial gain simply isn’t cool, and I chose to no longer be a part of t.A.T.u’s machine.

    Even when it was revealed that t.A.T.u are not really lesbians, the members spoke out in support of the gay community. Volkova’s recent comments have shown her true opinions, though, and demonstrated that her previous support of gay people was as fake as her lesbianism.

    I’m quite aware that t.A.T.u as a band are no longer taken seriously, but I do feel we should take Yulia Volkova’s anti-gay comments seriously. She is a public figure in a notoriously homophobic country. There will be people who agree with her comments or who will change their views to match hers. That is a dangerous thing and we should be concerned, despite how ridiculous this woman obviously is. But to end on a positive, at least we gays are “better than murderers, thieves, or drug addicts”. There’s clearly hope for us yet.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Why We Need To Lay Off James Arthur

    Scrolling through my Twitter and Facebook timelines earlier this week I kept seeing the same thing over and over again on the various LGBT-related pages I follow; hate comments aimed at James Arthur for daring to want to put right his wrongs. How dare he do such a thing!

    Last year James Arthur caused a bit of outrage among gay people when he used a homophobic slur in a rap aimed at a fellow artist. Since then his career has faltered as the nation turned against him and branded him a monster homophobe.

    Although I do not condone the use of the words “f***ing queer”, I do actually intend to stick up for James here because I do not believe him to be a homophobe. What James is actually guilty of is speaking before thinking it through.

    In my book that makes him human.

    Can anyone honestly say they have never said something hateful or nasty about someone and then regretted it or wished they had thought before speaking?

    I know I can’t.

    That’s because I’m human too. Is that such a crime?

    Stonewall’s newly appointed Chief Executive, Ruth Hunt, tweeted James Arthur to offer him an opportunity to meet some of the organisation’s youth volunteers. Arthur tweeted back to accept that opportunity.

    Whether it’s a cynical move to get his career back on track or not, it’s still a good thing. It demonstrates that the perceived homophobe can’t really be one and that he is willing to go through some form of rehabilitation to right his past wrongs.

    Maybe becoming involved with Stonewall will be a massive wake up call for him, in that he’ll begin to think before speaking and realise the damage that homophobic slurs can cause to gay people. As leader of my own LGBTQ youth support charity I’d also welcome discussion with James Arthur and extend an opportunity to meet some of the young people that the charity works with.

    Sometimes I feel that the LGBT community becomes outraged too easily. There are genuinely awful things happening around the world that we should be angrier about. It was fine to be livid with James Arthur when he made that rap containing the words “f**king queer”, but nearly a year on and with him now trying to do something positive, I think it’s time people climbed down from their soapboxes and left the guy alone.

    Some of the comments aimed at James Arthur on social media sites have been appalling and I believe that makes those people no better than him when he used that homophobic slur.

    What we should be doing is applauding James Arthur for accepting his wrongdoings and trying to make amends. Surely everyone deserves a second chance?

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | Stonewall got it wrong Again

    By now I’m sure many of you will have heard about the new anti-gay laws coming into effect in Brunei, the subsequent condemnation around the world and boycott of hotels owned by the Sultan of Brunei, and then Stonewall’s refusal to back such a boycott. I must say I was hugely disappointed with Stonewall… And I still am.

    Acting CEO of Stonewall, Ruth Hunt, has now released a statement saying that the organisation will no longer be using the Dorchester hotel for events and she has apologised for their initial position on this issue. Although I think that Stonewall are now doing the right thing, I feel that it shouldn’t have come after outrage from their supporters. Stonewall is meant to be the leading LGBT charity in the UK, but it has become clear from this incident that they may not necessarily be best placed to be that leading charity. In fact it is my opinion that they have followed where others have led on this issue.

    Stonewall have been holding events at the Dorchester for some time now and that is something that has always bothered me, before the disagreement over boycotting Sultan of Brunei owned hotels. Firstly because only people with a large income can afford to attend anything at the Dorchester, but also because I feel it’s inappropriate for a charity to put on events at such costly venues in the first place. I run my own LGBTQ charity, Push Projects, and would never consider putting on an event at such a place.

    Everything is done at a low cost and takes place at affordable venues. The expense of putting on an event at such pricey places would be better spent directly helping the people the charity exists to represent. But I digress…

    I believe the boycott of hotels owned by the Sultan of Brunei is a positive thing. Although I am all for conversation and working things out by talking, I also feel that boycotts can send powerful messages. This particular boycott is not on a small scale; it is a worldwide campaign that many high profile people and organisations are supporting. With so much backing for a boycott, Stonewall got it completely wrong by stating they would not support it. It demonstrates that they do not represent the majority or LGBT people and their allies. It shows that they are out of touch. The superior tone of Ruth Hunt’s article in the Telegraph certainly gave that impression.

    Today’s announcement that Stonewall will no longer be using the Dorchester hotel is a case of too little, too late. It feels more like damage limitation rather than a sincere gesture. Something appears to be wrong at Stonewall and it’s clear they need to take a hard look at themselves and how they represent the LGBT community. Perhaps a change at the top is in order. They claim to be listening. Will they listen to this?

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • REVIEW | RHS Malvern Spring Festival

    The Royal Horticultural Society’s (RHS) Malvern Spring Festival is a fantastic annual event that takes place amongst the backdrop of the spectacular Malvern Hills. It’s the place to go if you are a keen gardener or foodie, as visitors are treated to show gardens, floral displays, celebrity talks, and lots of glorious food and drink. (more…)

  • OPINION | RuPaul is Right – The Gay Movement Will Eat Itself From The Inside Out

    RuPaul appears to have been at the centre of a storm in a big gay teacup lately.

    With her show ‘Drag Race’ no longer having the term “She-Mail” included in it and the annoyance of some within the LGBT community at her casual use of the word ‘tranny’, RuPaul has been biting back. I have to say that I agree with her.

    I’ve never seen RuPaul’s Drag Race, but I am aware of the show and its content. I wonder how many people getting annoyed at the use of the term ‘She-Mail’ and the word ‘tranny’ have actually watched it and seen the context in which those words are used. The word tranny has long been used to describe transvestites and Drag Queens; it is not a word that is exclusive to transgender people or even used by transgender people. This is something that those getting annoyed at its use in RuPaul’s show should keep in mind. RuPaul describes herself as a tranny and it is quite apparent that her use of that word and of the term ‘She-Mail’ relates to herself and other Drag Queens, rather than being a slur towards to the transgender community.

    Something that has been bothering me for some time is the way the LGBT community are so quick to turn on each other. Whether it’s the above issue of getting precious over certain words and terms or gay men criticising other gays for the way they look, it’s clear to me that the gay movement is becoming its own worst enemy.

    There are so many horrific things happening around the world, such as the anti-gay regimes in Russia, the new laws in Brunei, and the ongoing persecution of LGBT people in some African countries. Even in our own country there’s still great injustices and the threat from the outside still exists. Rather than infighting we should be focused on what we can achieve together to eliminate that threat.

    Coming back to the policing of words (and it is policing), I really believe that some LGBT people need to lighten up and consider the context that words are used in. I’ll give you an example…

    I was once called a “f**king disgusting queer” by a homophobic man who wanted to beat me up just for being gay. Those words used in that context are offensive and completely unacceptable. However, I have also been called a “queer dear” by one of my friends. The word ‘queer’ is used in both of those examples, but only one is offensive and that is because of the context it is used in.

    I’ve spoken to transgender friends of mine about this and the feeling among them is that the word tranny doesn’t apply to them and they are not offended when somebody uses the word in reference to Drag Queens or transvestites. It is only when they are called trannies that it becomes offensive. Again it comes back to the context in which words are used.

    I truly believe in people being able to identify in any way they want and use any words they choose as long as it’s in a positive and empowering context. Just because some in the transgender community don’t like the word ‘tranny’ or the term ‘She-Mail’ being used towards them it shouldn’t mean that RuPaul or anyone else isn’t allowed to apply those words to themselves or others who identify with it.

    There are more shocking and pressing matters in the world that we should be focusing on instead of policing the words that others in our LGBT community use. Otherwise there is a real risk of the ‘gay movement’ eating itself from the inside. RuPaul, I salute you for speaking the truth.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | Our Gay Wedding: The Musical – A Cringey Cliché Too Far?

    OMG… OMG! From the first utterance of those words at the beginning of Our Gay Wedding: The Musical, I knew that it was going to be just as awful as I was expecting it to be. Featuring the marriage of Ben and Nathan, I feared that showing something like this on television would reinforce stereotypes and not do our cause any good. Sadly I feel I have been proven correct.

    It’s the reinforcement of stereotypes that is my biggest bug bear with the show. For so long there has been a struggle for acceptance, both socially and legally. Barriers have been broken down through those struggles. We have gone from being considered illegal to now being able to marry. There are now more positive and realistic representations of gay people in the public eye instead of the usual camp clichés of yesteryear and that has gone some way in changing the public’s perception of homosexuals. I see that as a massive step in the right direction.

    I recently wrote about the battle for social equality now that we pretty much have full legal equality. I feel that battle is not going to be won with shows like this taking place. All this wedding will do is show gay people to be fabulous, camp stereotypes. That really isn’t the case. We are not all fabulous and most of us are not that camp.

    While I will always defend someone’s right to live in the way they choose, I have to question why Ben and Nathan chose to conduct their wedding in this way. I would be interested to know whether they considered the bigger picture and how it could lead to gay people being perceived in a negative way.

    My opinion is that Our Gay Wedding: The Musical has done us no favours whatsoever, but part of me also has to admire Ben and Nathan. A lot of hard work and effort clearly went into the show. To write, produce and co-ordinate something like this would take meticulous planning and I can only applaud the happy couple on that front. I also thought it was a good call to have a section on gay history and the journey to where we are now. However, despite those positives, the show really wasn’t my thing. It made me cringe. I’m already receiving messages from straight people I know saying how fabulous it was and how the now married couple are so cute, as if objects rather than people.

    I do wish Ben and Nathan all the happiness in the world, though. In the same way that I wish every gay couple getting married all the happiness they deserve. As the happy couple put it themselves, love is everyone. It’s a sentiment I entirely agree with.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • THE BRITS 2014: Round Up

    The BRIT Awards, a night of celebrating the best in British music and handing out awards to deserving souls whose talent has shone though over the previous year. It should be a joyous occasion and make for great television, but sadly something has gone seriously wrong with this awards ceremony. Although having flashes of great moments, this year’s BRIT Awards were almost completely unbearable to watch. Want to know why?

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  • ALBUM REVIEW | Hard-Fi: Best of 2004-2014

    Upon putting Hard-Fi’s greatest hits disc into my CD player I was immediately reminded of why I am such a fan of the band. As one of great underdogs of the music industry in modern times, I have frequently willed them on to succeed. Sadly the commercial success of their early days has not been sustained, but that hasn’t stopped the band releasing some great music.

    Although seeing Hard-Fi’s first album Stars of CCTV as their first collection of greatest hits, I welcomed the forthcoming release of the official best of album. It begins at the start of Hard-Fi’s career with the first few songs being the releases from Stars of CCTV. I can recall becoming a fan of the band and championing them, but it took some time for the rest of the public to realise their greatness. Eventually the album sold well and the band were critically acclaimed. With songs that people can relate to, such as ‘Cash Machine’ and ‘Living for the Weekend’, Hard-Fi seemed to come along at just the right time. Forward to ten years later and all of the songs from Stars of CCTV still sound great and relevant to the times we live in.

    From there the songs move on to Hard-Fi’s second album Once Upon a Time in the West. Another strong album that reached number one in the charts, spawning hits including ‘Surburban Knights’ and ‘Can’t Get Along’, this section of the hits collection is a further reminder of the band’s ability to craft songs that are real and relatable.

    Hard-Fi’s third album Killer Sounds is actually full of just that. Although not as commercially successful as previous efforts, it was still another strong album from the band. Although the singles were not as big as past chart entries, they were critical hits. ‘Good for Nothing’, ‘Fire in the House’ and ‘Bring it on’ are all worthy of their position on the album and demonstrate the band’s skill of crossing genres in their songs. Reggae, dance, rock, and pop are all present here. Perhaps it shouldn’t work, but somehow it works.
    The album ends with new song ‘Move Over’, which is a promising taste of things to come as the band work on their fourth album.

    Hard-Fi are masters of social realism in their lyrics and this collection of hits is a reminder that the band provide a great soundtrack to the streets of urban Britain. It’s music for working class people that has clearly resonated over the years. Hard-Fi may be underdogs of the music scene, but their songs are better than many other indie-pop bands and this is a five star collection worthy of investing in.

  • OPINION: Age Gap Relationships, What Is The Fuss?

    My name is Daniel Browne. I am 29 years old (although tell people I’m only 19) and I’m in a long term relationship with a man who is 25 years older than me. I wouldn’t be surprised if assumptions are made at this point as I have had to face them over the past couple of years. Am I gold a digging whore? Is my boyfriend a sugar Daddy? What do I get out of the relationship?

    Rather than answer those questions when people ask them, I simply give a death stare that ultimately makes the person feel as small as their mind is. Of course the answers are that I am not a gold digging whore and my boyfriend is not a sugar Daddy. I have my own career, home, and money. Sometimes I pay for things, sometimes my partner does. It’s a very grown up and equitable relationship.

    The reason I am writing about my own relationship is not because I have a great desire to let the world know certain details of my personal life, but because I am a big champion of age gap relationships. Actually, that may be slightly incorrect. I am a champion of all relationships and people having the freedom to be happy. Age gap relationships obviously fall into that. If someone wants to date another person who is years older or younger than themselves then why should it matter? The only thing that really matters is that the people in the relationship are happy.

    The world and his dog (and possibly even creatures in outer space) will have heard about Tom Daley recently revealing he is in a relationship with a man. As rabid gays and teenage girls went into diver boy crush overdrive over this ‘news’, much of the reporting in the following days began to focus on the fact that Tom’s boyfriend is twenty years older than him. Friends of mine commented on the age gap before remembering that I am with someone who is almost twice my age. I found myself getting increasingly annoyed that not only Tom’s sexuality was making the news, but also that his age gap relationship was such a big deal.

    I think that much of the problem with some of the rabid gays is that they wish they were Tom Daley’s older man. Jealousy is certainly playing a part. Personally he doesn’t do it for me but I can see why all these people would fancy him. Another reason for such a big deal being made out of this particular age gap relationship is because I think people love to be outraged or unimpressed by things. Some of it is so feigned that it’s almost amusing. All I can really say to that is people should get over themselves. Live and let live.

    There’s always going to be the haters; people who don’t agree with age gap relationships and say they shouldn’t happen. The only advice I have for those people is that they shouldn’t knock it until they have tried it. I don’t believe in passing judgement on people’s relationships and wish more people could be like that.

    After all, you can’t help who you fall in love with.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION: Why We Should Focus on Real Issues, Not Gossip and Bandwagons

    Something has been building up inside me recently and it came to a head this week. The moment that Tom Daley made the revelation that he is in a relationship with another man I could foresee that the press and gossips would go into overdrive.

    That’s exactly what has happened and it doesn’t half bug me.

    Tom Daley coming out has been splashed over the front pages of trash rag tabloids this week and was even breaking news on the BBC and Sky news channels. I don’t see why as it is not actually news. It’s simply gossip. Now of course I applaud Tom for having the courage to come out in his own time and on his own terms. Although sad that he had to reveal his relationship status at all, there’s no doubt that his words will help other young people who are thinking about coming out. But again I come back to the reason why it is headline news. With so much other stuff going on in the world that should be featured on the news, why was a 19 year old lad revealing he is in a relationship with another man the headline story?

    The sad fact is that gossip sells. It sells papers to those who are taken in by tabloid trash and it also keeps people watching television shows. Personally, I couldn’t care less about who Tom Daley is dating. I’m more concerned about the victims of the typhoon in the Philippines, the people injured in the Glasgow helicopter crash, the many homeless people facing cold, lonely nights in the lead up to Christmas, and important global issues such as climate change.

    In the wake of Tom Daley’s ‘news’ I was asked to take part in a BBC radio discussion about it. Whenever something gay is in the news the BBC roll me out to talk about it. I agreed because I thought it would be a great opportunity to tell thousands of people that it is not a newsworthy story and we should be more concerned about other things. Also taking part in the discussion was a Baptist minister who agreed that it is not newsworthy. However, his reason for that view is because he believes a relationship should be between one man and one woman. I began to switch off when he started talking about the Bible and why we should all follow its teachings. Normally I’d challenge such opinions but on this occasion decided to ignore the bigot and focus on my message. Luckily I managed to convey that Tom Daley’s relationship status should not be on the news, but I felt that perhaps it was falling on some deaf ears.

    As I put my face in the palms of my hands we were then fed the revelation that Tom is apparently dating someone who is twenty years older than himself. This is something else I could not care less about and it baffles me why anyone else would be interested. The shock, some genuine and some feigned, is absurd and I do not know what all the fuss is about. I’m in a relationship with someone who is twenty five years older than me. All I can say is don’t judge and don’t knock it until you have tried. This is such a non-story and I wish that people cared as much about genuine news as they do about this tittle tattle.

    Something else that has bugged me in recent weeks is the James Arthur bashing. Everyone seems to be jumping on that bandwagon, but it’s something I refuse to be a part of. While I don’t condone James calling someone a “f**king queer”, I do accept that we all make mistakes. I don’t believe that James Arthur is a homophobe. A gobby fool, maybe, but he’s no homophobe. I just think that he did not think about what he was saying; he engaged his mouth before his brain. What has followed since then has been nothing short of a witch hunt. Comments in the media and on sites such as Twitter and Facebook have been ridiculous. As far as I am concerned James Arthur has apologised and that should be accepted.

    It’s sad when people jump on bandwagons, sometimes without actually analysing all of the facts. It’s all too easy to do, but there are bigger things that we should be concerned about.

    Instead of being taken in by gossip and jumping on bandwagons because it’s the in thing to do, we should be highlighting real news and causes. The totally abhorrent situation in Russia is something we must continue to highlight and it needs to be shown in the media more. Instead of writing about Tom Daley they should be bringing attention to the human rights struggles going on in the world at the moment.

    An example is when Madonna took to the stage in a Scout’s uniform to protest against gay people being banned from being in the Scouts, the media twisted the story to make it about Madonna looking ridiculous instead of highlighting the reason why she dressed like that. It’s something that I find incredibly frustrating and it needs to change.

    How are we going to make real progress and bring about huge social changes if we continue to be taken in by gossip and bandwagons? It’s clear that the media need to change, but actually, we as a society need to as well.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | The issue with dictionaries’ definition of the word gay

    There is one thing that really annoys me. It doesn’t quite turn me into an aggressive homosexual but it doesn’t half infuriate me. The offending thing is when the word gay is used as a synonym for stupid, lame, rubbish or sh**, basically.

    It was with great disappointment that I came across an update on this fine magazine’s Facebook page that exposed the dictionary listing of the word gay on Apple’s computer operating systems. It lists the word gay as being “foolish” and “stupid”. I will, of course, state that it has the usual definitions of gay listed, but this is a worrying development, particularly at a time when the word is used negatively so casually amongst young people (and some older ones too).

    As you’ll pick up in some of my previous writings for THEGAYUK, I run an LGBTQ youth support charity and work hard to educate young people on the use of the word gay. I’ve spoken to many youth groups, parents, and professionals about the way in which gay is flung around as an insult or put down, and spent much time educating people on how to use the word appropriately or challenge its negative use. I feel that the way gay is listed in Apple’s dictionary goes some way to undo or undermine those efforts.

    Apple is not the only offender, though; the Oxford Dictionary, although putting the words “often offensive” in front, also list the word gay as meaning “foolish” or “stupid”. In general, I am not easily offended but I find the dictionary listing unacceptable. Perhaps it is true that dictionaries should list the way in which words are used rather the way they should be, but I am still uncomfortable with this definition. I have actually referred young people to the dictionary to look up what gay actually means. Now it’s defined as meaning “foolish” or “stupid” I will no longer be able to do that.

    In Apple’s defence, I am aware that their dictionary entries come from several different sources and that it must be difficult to keep tabs on every entry. Apple is also known for being LGBT friendly so they can perhaps be let off for this oversight. I have confidence in Apple removing that particular definition or at least making an alteration now that they have been made aware of it. However, as for the Oxford Dictionary, I am a bit more disappointed. In my view gay does not equate to being foolish or stupid. It refers to sexuality or being light hearted and care free. Despite mentioning that the negative use is often offensive, it doesn’t make it an acceptable definition. To use the word in the way that these dictionaries define it, they are being pretty gay themselves.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.