The Pulse nightclub gunman’s wife knew he was going to conduct an attack when he left their home on the day of the shooting, according to her statement to law enforcement that was recently made public. (more…)
Author: Guest Poster
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Shooter’s wife knew about Pulse attack beforehand, records show
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Guys: Five health signs that something might be wrong
We spoke to doctors from The Online Clinic to seek advice on the most important symptoms for men to be on the lookout for.
If you’re suffering any of these pains, you might want to get yourself to the GP It can be hard to know what health issues are really important to look out for with men’s health. The internet throws all kinds of signs and symptoms at us, and googling only results in permanent paranoia. To try and understand what we really should be keeping an eye out for, I’ve been speaking to doctors from The Online Clinic to highlight the most important health signs. They gave me information on the following top five health signs which should be a warning signal to men to go and get a check-up.
Urination
Be sure to keep an eye on your urine – as this is often the first sign that something is wrong with your prostate. If you have a poor stream or find there is hesitation when going to pee, this can be a strong indication of prostatic issues. Get checked by a doctor as soon as possible and put your mind at ease.
Unexplained weight loss
Another sign is weight loss – if you are losing weight without intention, it’s a good idea to get this investigated. The doctors at The Online Clinic have said that it could mean you have a symptom of a metallic disorder such as thyroid disease, diabetes, or even cancer in the extreme cases.
Statistically, middle-aged men are twice as likely to suffer from diabetes than women, so it is important to rule this out. If you notice that you are beginning to lose weight, make sure you see a doctor ASAP.
Coughing
Coughing can be another sign of a more serious health problem – if you’re a smoker, don’t dismiss a cough that lingers for more than three weeks as just being a nasty cigarette side effect. It could be a sign of something much more serious, like a lung disorder – or even cancer. If you find that a cough does last longer than three weeks, be sure to get this checked as soon as possible. And, if you don’t smoke, a cough longer than 6 weeks could indicate the same thing.
Painful ejaculation
Pain when you ejaculate is unpleasant and can be distressing. If this happens make sure you take note and go to the doctors, however embarrassing it may be.
Regularly check for blood in your sperm or discharge from your penis. If you do find anything unusual it’s a good idea to go and get an STI test. These are all symptoms of a sexually transmitted disease.
Pain
Lastly, it’s important to remember that pain, in general, is usually a sign that something’s wrong: listen to your body when it tells you that something is amiss and seek advice from a doctor.
Advice given by Dr Elizabeth Kershaw-Yates, GP and one of the medical team at TheOnlineClinic
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COMMENT | Why Liverpool is the gayest city in the UK this time of the year
Liverpool’s cultural history has always been rich, colourful and varied and has all the diversity you would expect of a major international port with a cosmopolitan outlook and long-established trade links to centres of creative activity the world over.
Liverpool’s LGBTQ presence is well established, active and visible throughout a city which has long been proud of its artistic and cultural heritage and the contribution artists and pioneers such as Holly Johnson, Terence Davies and Brian Epstein have made to both Queer and mainstream popular culture.
While some might say Liverpool lacks an established ‘gay village’ like Manchester’s Canal Street or Soho in London, savvy local’s will be quick to point out that the much of Liverpool’s city centre is a friendly, welcoming and safe space for LGBTQ locals and visitors alike. Many of the city’s well known and established bars, restaurants and creative spaces have a long history of gay ownership, staffing and management which has always encouraged a diverse and mixed clientele.
Liverpool has a rapidly growing reputation as a world-class tourist destination having been granted World Heritage Status in recognition of its architectural and cultural importance. The city was also a European Capital of Culture and this major event kick-started a cultural and artistic renaissance which was also instrumental in positioning Liverpool as an important champion of LGBTQ arts and culture for the 21st Century.
The Liverpool Biennial arts festival attracted a creative crowd from all over the globe, and its Independent fringe events in particular often featured a range of works by LGBTQ artists from Liverpool as well as further afield. Homotopia also originated during this exciting period of Liverpool’s artistic history with the specific aim of focussing on and celebrating LGBTQ art, performance and creativity and has become an essential and internationally significant yearly fixture in the cultural calendar.
by James Lawler, co-artistic director of The Gallery
Find out more about Homotopia, visit their website.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
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Incredible everyday objects that tell the unheard stories of the UK’s trans community
They say a picture is worth a thousand words; we say an object speaks a thousand more. This is exactly what the public of Brighton learnt when The Museum of Transology opened its doors recently at the iconic Brighton Pavilion Museum, featuring key objects and artefacts from previously unearthed trans history.
“Maeve – Not long after I started my transition, my cousin asked me to be a bridesmaid. I wore these shoes and a dress which my mum made. I was absolutely shitting myself in church but it was a beautiful day <3” Collected and curated by E-J Scott, the new exhibition showcases seemingly “everyday” objects, revealing remarkable stories behind them, from the brave and diverse trans individuals who’ve donated their personal possessions to go on display. Challenging society-fixed gender labels, binary and the ideology that gender is biologically determined, the exhibition includes personal belongings such as a trans man’s first pair of gender-bending childhood ballet shoes and a woman’s first ever transition-land marking item of makeup – all with unpredicted stories told through the objects.
“This was the ticket I used to meet my Canadian girlfriend, the first time seeing her in person as her boyfriend instead of her girlfriend. An amazing moment!” Having proved a blowout success during its showing in London earlier this year, the gallery contains photography from Bharat Sikka and Sharon Kilgannon, plus further works from other key artists and creatives. This is the biggest display of trans artefacts and photographic portraiture ever displayed in the UK – if not, the world!
“My first pair of ballet shoes… I’ve been doing ballet since I was 4 years old. When I came out I was worried that people wouldn’t see me as male because of my love of ballet and pointe, but because I love it so much I refused to quit. Since coming out I’ve been more confident in my dancing, and while they were worn long before my transition, they hold a lot of meaning for me as ballet has made me the man I am.” 
“I became far more ambitious with age! (But wore this [for] 10 years)” 
Open until summer 2018, the exhibition takes place during exceptionally pertinent times for the trans community, with anti-progressive obstacles threatening trans individuals recently, such as Trump disgracefully banning trans soldiers from the US military. Alongside key events this year such as Trans Pride – having celebrated its 5th successful this year – The Museum of Transology exhibition provides a positive voice for the often-unheard trans individuals within the UK.
“This was the first piece of makeup I bought. It all comes back to this. I learnt about it from YouTube and still use it today. I finally built up the confidence to go into a shop and buy makeup without feeling judged. Now that I’ve started I’ve not looked back once – SPx” 
“The lipstick was from my wonderful sister who was the first family member to accept and support my transition. <3” Here are some of the touching first-hand trans stories and experiences to expect at the new exhibition…
All pictures c/o Museum of Transology
by George Palmer @george_palms
For more information on the exhibition visit – http://brightonmuseums.org.uk/brighton/
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Dating apps make men unhappy and provide a platform for racism
Do dating apps give men body image concerns and lower self-esteem?
shutterstock Glen Jankowski, Leeds Beckett University
As the dating app Tinder turns five, new research shows men who regularly use the app have more body image concerns and lower self-esteem.
The research found Tinder users reported lower levels of satisfaction with their faces and higher levels of shame about their bodies. And users were also more likely to view their bodies as sexual objects.
This is hardly surprising given that Tinder’s “evaluative factors” have the potential to intensify preexisting cultural beauty ideals. The app’s “swipe right to dismiss” facility, along with the limited number of words a user can write on their profile means appearance take centre stage. In other words, the more conventionally attractive your photos are, the more likely you are to be clicked, swiped or hit upon by other users.
But whether men use Tinder or not, most will report dissatisfaction with some aspect of their appearance. This could be anything from height, body hair, muscularity, skin tautness, shoe size, penis size, facial symmetry, head hair amount and more. Sadly there are few areas of the body men do not find fault with.
The body beautiful?
Over the last few decades, boys’ and men’s appearances have come under increasing scrutiny. This is largely because in the 1980s businesses finally started exploiting a relatively untapped market: the appearance insecurities of men.
To demonstrate – today men are sold anti-cellulite cream for their pecs, hair transplants for their facial hair and “manscara” for their eyes. Then there are the boys’ action dolls that have gained muscle and lost body fat with each successive edition. Add this to the fact that 80% of the men featured in popular media such as Men’s Health magazine are of a muscular body build – with many of these models taking drastic measures in the weeks leading up to photos shoots to make sure they look lean.
These models also tend to have a full head of hair and symmetrical faces. The same goes for porn sites – where almost all of the men featured are equally ripped and stereotypically “handsome”.
Love your selfie.
ShutterstockIt’s unsurprising then that boys today feel they are growing up in a world which focuses heavily upon their appearance. Of course, this is a problem that has plagued women and girls for decades. And in the way that this has impacted girls for so long, now this pressure is impacting on boys’ well-being. One recent study found almost one in five boys had resorted to diet pills, purging, skipping meals, steroids or tanning products to change their appearance.
White washing
But beyond appearance pressures, dating apps are doubly damaging because they often operate in a sphere where sexual racism is commonplace.
The dating app OKCupid recently analysed sexual racism among 1m of its male site users. The company found that compared to black, Asian or minority ethnic users, white users got more messages. White users were also found to be less likely to reply or match with users of a different race to themselves, and more likely to question interracial marriage.
Online dating comes with its own rules, preferences and prejudices.
ShutterstockRecent research from Australia also found that 15% of gay men on the dating app Grindr included sexual racism on their profiles. This was more likely to be the case if the profile user was white, and if the user held broader racist views.
I too have noticed gay men who write offensive terms that specify race preferences on their profiles – such as “Black=block”, “no gaysians” or even “no chocolate or rice”. In its terms and conditions, Grindr bans offensive speech. Which is in part why, three years ago, I started a Twitter account, @GrindrRacism to encourage Grindr to remove offensive profiles. Disappointingly Grindr has often been slow to act though – meaning sexual racism is still present on the app.
Dating elite
Of course apps aren’t the cause of racism around sexual preferences. Instead like appearance pressures, users are influenced by what’s going on in wider society. By not tackling those problems in society, however, – for example cracking down on offensive speech – apps can act as enablers for racism and insecurity.
So while in some ways, these apps have brought our dating lives into the 21st century – where casual sex is more accepted and where gay men can meet other gay men without being imprisoned – in other ways, they also remind me of the 1950s, a time when shops would hang “No Blacks” signs in their doorways and when magazines like Playboy relentlessly objectified women’s appearances.
Ultimately given that more people are using dating apps than ever before, they need to work for everyone – not just those who are “attractive” or white.Glen Jankowski, Senior Lecturer in the School of Social Sciences, Leeds Beckett University
This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
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Vigil at Georgia Tech turns violent in aftermath of police shooting
Violence erupts in Atlanta after a student was killed by campus police.
Scout Schultz was gunned down by campus police over the weekend. ATLANTA — A vigil at Georgia Tech to remember a student gunned down by campus police turned violent Monday night. A police car was set afire as about 50 participants marched to the Georgia Tech Police Department headquarters in Atlanta. It was unclear who set the blaze. An unidentified individual was transported to Grady Memorial Hospital… (more…)
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Amazon Faces Backlash After Banning Gay Bible
Looks like Amazon has upset a few people…
Online users have lashed out at Amazon for removing what fans dub a “hella gay” Bible from its electronic bookshelves. Elijah Daniel, commonly known to fans as the “mayor of hell,” rewrote the Christian Bible to feature celebrities like Taylor Swift, President Donald Trump, and Rihanna in his erotic religious text, according to the Independent. The… (more…)
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Some guys reckon their relationship is worth just £50,000
Millions of Brits would happily celebrate a big windfall – by ditching their other half, a study has revealed.
Researchers who carried out a detailed study found more than one in four would leave their partner, with some blokes admitting as little as £100k would be enough for them to walk away.
One in 50 would even be willing to cut ties with their SO for less than £50,000.
It also emerged men would be more likely to be tempted to run back to an ex once they strike gold, while women would prefer to elope with someone superior to their current squeeze.
The Lottoland study explored the effects a big cash prize has on the morality of coupling Brits, ahead of this Friday’s £116 million EuroMillions Superdraw.
A Lottoland spokesman said, “Everyone has their price, and it’s something that most couples will have at least considered in jest – ‘What would it take to break us up?’
“In that sense our findings are quite reassuring.
“However, dealing with huge sums of money like this week’s EuroMillions jackpot, Brits will apparently be tempted by the dark side.”
Return to ex
Happiness with an ex? One in eight would return to an ex if they were to come into a windfall the study found. The research seemed to suggest that men thought that a cash injection would help the relationship second time around. The study also found one in eight theoretical winners would consider returning to an ex-partner with their prize money. Their reasoning was that a huge wad of cash could help the relationship run more smoothly the second time around.
Rather than trading in their lover for loot, one in ten would use the money instead to improve their partner in some way.
Of those who said they would dedicate funds to bettering their beloved, 31 percent said they would pay for plastic surgery to make them more attractive.
Easier on the eye? A massive one-third would buy their SO a new wardbrobe if they were to come into a lot of cash… And one-third would buy them a new wardrobe so they are ‘easier on the eye’.
One in four would shell out on a premium gym membership to buff up their betrothed.
And one in ten would check their spouse into counselling to tune up their personality.
One-third said they believed a large windfall would actually improve them as people, but one in eight felt a financial injection would ‘corrupt’ their partner.
The study also pinpointed the exact amount of money it would take for good-natured Brits to start turning to the dark side: £31.5 million.
However, when putting a price on true happiness, loved-up Brits came up with a lower figure to bring them contentment: £22.3 million.
Around one in ten would trade it all in for a £1 million wad.
By Grant Bailey
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Ginger men are getting more sex than ever… thanks to one man
Ginger-haired men are getting more sex – thanks to the ‘Ed Sheeran effect’, a study has revealed.
Markus Hillgärtner, http://www.markushillgaertner.de Red-headed males have been ridiculed since the dawn of time due to their pale skin and inability to tan and were even once considered to be a genetic mutation,
Throughout history even a string of notable Royals including King Henry and Queen Elizabeth I have fallen victim to the ‘Ginger curse’
But busker-turned platinum-selling pop artist Sheeran, 26, has finally made ginger cool, and his fellow flame-haired males are reaping the rewards by “getting lucky” between the sheets.
A poll of red-headed British blokes found one in five 25 to 34-year-olds have had more attention since Sheeran shot to fame.
A spokeswoman for www.casumo.com, which commissioned the study among 175 ginger men and 1,000 women, said, ”It’s unsurprising that red-heads are attracting more attention now than in previous years.
”Donning fiery red locks are popular among both male and female celebs with stars like Emma Stone and Isla Fisher leading the way for red-headed women.
”Ed Sheeran has shown how his appearance has no affect on his talent and more people are embracing their natural colour.
”It seems that when it comes to gingers, the brighter the better.”
Ginger blokes even went as far to say they are getting fewer jokes surrounding their hair colour – and some even said they now get more compliments.
The ‘Ed effect’ is even boosting the confidence of some red headed blokes, with some finding more strangers starting conversations with them as a result.
When women were asked to reveal their opinions on ginger men, over a third agree there are now more positive perceptions around coppery curls since Ed Sheeran arrive don the scene.
One in twenty females now even prefer red-heads over other hair colours, with Auburn being the top choice following by strawberry blonde tresses.
The study also revealed one-quarter of copper-topped blokes agree the public have a more positive outlook on red-heads since Ed Sheeran began reigning the charts.
One in five gingers have even been told they look like the chart-topping singer, with over a third of 18 to 24-year-olds reporting cases of mistaken identity.
The Casumo.com spokesperson continued, “We’re glad to see red heads are getting lucky, but they needn’t be the only ones.
“We give our players the chance to strike it right every day regardless of their hair shade, with plenty of colourful games to choose from”.
The study also voted red-headed royal, Prince Harry, as the most attractive ginger followed by Ewan McGregor and Damien Lewis.
Ironically, Ed Sheeran fell just short of the top three as the fourth most eye-catching copper celeb.
Eddie Redmayne was picked as a popular piece of copper eye candy by more than one in ten females, followed by Benedict Cumberbatch of which some people aren’t aware is a natural red head.
Star of the Harry Potter film series, Rupert Grint also made the cut in the top ten, followed by Rob Kazinsky, Paul Bettany and comedy actor and writer, Simon Pegg.
TOP TEN MOST ATTRACTIVE MALE GINGER CELEBRITIES
1. Prince Harry
2. Ewan McGregor
3. Damien Lewis
4. Ed Sheeran
5. Eddie Redmayne
6. Benedict Cumberbatch
7. Rupert Grint
8. Rob Kazinsky
9. Paul Bettany
10. Simon Peggby Astrid Hall
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Five ways to become an erotic massage pro
Want to give your lover some truly unforgettable bodywork?
Many couples enjoy the pleasure and intimacy of erotic massages as foreplay. As well as relaxing the recipient, a strong, explorative, erotic massage can also have real, noticeable benefits for the giver and for the couple as a whole.
Four reasons to start sex with a massage
• It strips away boundaries in a natural, unhurried way, building a real connection and singularity between both lovers.
• It brings the recipient’s senses to life, as they begin to react and respond to the touch of the masseuse.
• It gives the masseuse a better understanding of their lover’s pleasure zones, allowing them to see what they do and do not respond to. This will later inform love-making techniques, rhythms and positions.
• The recipient’s whole body loosens up, with different parts connecting in ways that are not always possible. This builds towards stronger, longer orgasms.
Five steps to the perfect erotic massage
• Before
It is vital that you create the best possible atmosphere for your love-making. Be sure you are in a
quiet space that will be yours and yours alone for at least two hours. Switch off all phones and
minimise overhead light, using candles if possible. Incense and low music are also helpful additions.
• To begin
Ask your lover to lay face-down on the bed, table, couch or whatever comfortable platform you have setup for their massage. Check that they are relaxed and not strained in their position. Then place your hands on the centre of their back and feel their breathing pattern. Take a moment to acclimatise yours with theirs, until you are both breathing in and out at the same pace.
• Gentle touches and slow strokes
Your first strokes should be tender, using only your fingertips to allow your lover’s senses to know that pleasure is coming. Next, place some warmed massage oil on your hand and slowly rub it all over their body, from the top of their back to the heels of their feet. Tell your lover that they can move and express themselves however they like, to guide you and to give them a sense of both pleasure and mutual control.
• Roll over
When you have rubbed the oil sensually and slowly all over your lover, ask them to roll over. Now apply the oil to their front in the same measured strokes. Once they are fully relaxed, move your hands softly to their genitalia. Rub the oil around the outskirts of their sexual organ, teasing it into life, slow and sure, before moving into the centre. Their arousal should be visible and audible, showing you when the time is right to move on to sex.
• After sex
When both lovers have climaxed, spoon together for a long moment, allowing your heartbeats and breathing to connect and synchronise once again. This will give a complete wholeness to your lovemaking.
An erotic massage is a powerful, beautiful and, most of all, pleasurable way to begin sex. Try this technique for yourself.by Guysway
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COMMENT | What about straight victims of homophobia?
Why is it so often the case that the struggle for equality can feel like one step forward and three back?
In the UK, equalities minister Justine Greening has announced plans to allow trans people to change their gender more easily, with less intrusive medical assessments, as part of a welcome shake up of equalities legislation. It’ll also be easier for gay men to give blood. This is good news, and updates to the Gender Recognition Act have to be welcomed.
On the other side of the Atlantic, our American friends have taken a few steps back, after President Trump’s ban on transgender people serving in the military, proving that pointless and nasty political tokenism is alive and well in the west. In-keeping with Trump’s consistency as a president thus far, the legislation is poorly thought-through, with no obvious route to implementation. Hopefully, it will be quickly struck down.We can’t afford to be sanguine about gay rights in the UK, and although most of us agree there is still some way to go, there are areas of disagreement over what to prioritise in moving towards equality. Because of my own experiences, one area I am passionate about is addressing the reality that homophobia affects more than just gay people. Bear with me on this if it’s not something you’ve previously considered. It’s great and right that we can report homophobic abuse to the police and have it taken very seriously (speaking from experience), but the story doesn’t begin and end there. Homophobia isn’t self-contained.
“…My parents received an ultimatum from one of my siblings:
boycott the wedding and disown me,
or have their grandchildren removed from their lives.
When my husband and I announced our engagement and intention to marry, my parents received an ultimatum from one of my siblings: boycott the wedding and disown me, or have their grandchildren removed from their lives. My parents attended my wedding and are no longer a part of those grandchildren’s lives. Yet my father’s thriving business was taken over by his homophobic child, and their wedding and a deposit for their first home was lovingly paid for out of my parents’ pockets. Prior to my husband and me tying the knot, my parents played a full and active role in that child’s life, and even more so once the grandchildren arrived, who adored their grandparents.
At first, they tried mediation. Their requests were ignored. They were so desperate to be reunited with their grandchildren that they used their life savings and pursued their last legal option, taking their case to the family courts. There, they found that the organisation Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) doesn’t take matters like homophobia into account in assessing what is best for children. As long as children are being looked after at home, then matters like their parents’ homophobic views and actions hold no weight. Similarly, grandparents have few, if any, access rights to their grandchildren. Most cases like this are as a result of acrimonious divorce, and grandparents on one side or the other invariably lose. Ultimately, in this instance, the judge repeatedly commented that she considered it a profoundly sad case and was aware of the gross injustice my parents were fighting, but was powerless even under these circumstances, with homophobic motivations on the other side, to grant my parents direct access, offering indirect access instead.
Believe it or not, the consolation prize was a better outcome than my parents had been briefed to expect. A different judge may have dismissed it outright.
Parents get to decide who can and cannot see their children, and bring them up in a homophobic household if they wish.
One major concern here though: what if a child in such a household is gay? There is a reason suicide rates in gay people is higher than average, and family hostility almost always plays a major part in such tragic cases.
It is clear to me that my parents are the victims of homophobia which has, in their old age, destroyed their happiness. They have reached the end of the road and now have to accept the outcome. This strikes me as a grievous wrong, and I hope many readers feel the same.
So what of the indirect victims of homophobia? I would be interested to hear others’ views, especially if anyone has known a remotely comparable situation. Whilst the homophobia my husband and I have suffered from within my family has been hurtful, it has been easy, painless and for the best to simply sever contact with the sources.
My parents’ suffering goes on. They are the real victims of homophobia here, not me.
For fear of further reprisals, the author wishes to remain anonymous, but please post your comments below.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.