Author: Guest Poster

  • COMMENT: Could Therapy Save Your Life?

    COMMENT: Could Therapy Save Your Life?

    As a psychotherapist, the current news around suicide, immigration, and HIV transmission, troubles me greatly.

    CREDIT: Ocus Focus / Bigstock

    It is only a matter of months since we heard that Vikki Thompson, despite being known to be at serious risk in custody, was sent to a male prison anyway, resulting in her making the upsetting decision to end her life. The reverberations around the country have been vast – people are now engaging in dialogue about suicide, considering the fate of transgender men and women in the prison estate, alongside considering the wider concerns around the risk of suicide to the LGBTF community. For those of us who are part of this community, the concerns are real, and significant.

    But what are, roughly, the facts?

    In terms of stats, you are all probably aware that the majority of suicides are male (of the 6,233 reported suicides in the UK during 2013, 4,858 of those were men, and 1,375 were women (Samaritans’ Report, 2015). Males – and usually white males – between the ages of 49 and 65 were particularly at risk, especially professionals such as doctors, social workers, and solicitors. In addition, suicide amongst the LGBT youth is notable, with LGBT teens and young adults having one of the highest rates of suicide attempts in comparison with the rest of the population. The situation is truly disturbing for us, our families, and our friends. For those left behind when someone ends their life, recovery can be arduous at best. Even more sadly, the lack of a therapist who shares the same sexual identity can significantly impact the quality of the therapeutic relationship from developing at all. But what can we do about it?

    The statutory services are often less than helpful. Without casting ‘shade’ on my Health colleagues, who work hard under very difficult circumstances, waiting lists remain high, the quick fix agenda is still rampant, and getting a therapy which will actually do what it sets out to do is rarely available, despite promises otherwise. Rather unconventionally, in a country where we expect to be treated for everything for free, my humble suggestion would be for anyone with a need for some emotional support, is to consider paying for the therapy yourself. Here are some things to think about in order to help your decision:

    There are often no waiting lists in private practice.

    Choice actually means something. If your therapeutic alliance is not working, find someone else.
    An hour’s therapy costs the equivalent of a meal out, or a pair of jeans. Your happiness is priceless.
    Therapy can take as long as you need it to, not just six sessions.

    Many therapies are available online, i.e. Skype, meaning you don’t even need to go out of your home.


    Confidentiality is more meaningful, as there will be no trace on your health record. At all.

    The thing is, research supports the idea that therapy can be really helpful. For myself (yes, therapists are required to complete their own therapy) the therapy was life-changing. Therapy can help alleviate difficult feelings to the point where, for example, with depression, the impact can rival anti-depressants, and the effects can be felt for much longer afterwards. Some people report that therapy has been profound, with many people wishing they’d made the decision much earlier. Isn’t it about time you considered trying therapy for yourself?

    About Andrew Smith:

    Andrew is the clinical director of TherAppUK Ltd, an organisation based in Greater Manchester that provides a range of therapeutic solutions to individuals, families, and groups. He is also a doctoral researcher at the University of Huddersfield, and lives in the Calder Valley with his partner, Nigel, their son, a neurotic Chihuahua called Chicky, and two cats. If you have any urgent concerns about your own or someone else’s emotional health, please call 999 or NHS Direct. If this is a matter that can wait until one of our therapists can call you back, please email Andrew on andrew.smith@therapp.org

    Provided Content by Andrew Smith (What does this mean?)

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • 8 Super Foods To Blast Through Your Cold And Flu

    8 Super Foods To Blast Through Your Cold And Flu

    Health writer and food expert Claudia Ehrlicher give us her top 8 food suggestions to blast through your cold and flu symptoms during the winter season..

    From Icepops to Garlic here are her top 8 super foods to help you get rid of your cold or flu and feel more like you again.
    – Water, herbal infusions, fruit teas: drink plenty and aim for 8 glasses of fluid per day. Try hot water with honey (to coat a sore throat) and lemon (to help with swollen throat tissues and fight off virus cells). Good hydration is important to help keep mucus thin and help lessen congestion. Avoid dehydrating drinks such as alcohol and caffeinated drinks.

    • Fruits, vegetables and juices: plenty of vitamin C to reduce cold symptoms and strengthen the immune system. Aim for 5-a-day as suggested by the British Dietetic Association.
      Strawberries, citrus fruits, broccoli and peppers are good sources of vitamin C

    • Chicken soup: studies suggest benefits in improving some of the common symptoms such as a runny nose, cough, sneezing, sore throat and chills. Chicken soup is hydrating and nourishing, may increase nasal airflow due to inhalation of vapours and may loosen respiratory secretions enhancing their removal. Check out Bone Broth soup recipe.

    • Lean protein from e.g. turkey, chicken, lean meat, tofu and beans: a good protein intake is essential for the function of the immune system. See Jordan Lohan’s recipe for Black Quinoa Chicken “Coal”

    • Garlic – try to add plenty of fresh garlic into your diet. It helps fighting the symptoms of colds and flu and also fights free radicals.

    • Foods rich in vitamin B5 and zinc e.g. fresh vegetables, whole rye and whole wheat flour, eggs, brewer’s yeast, salt water fish, mushrooms, nuts and royal jelly. They promote antibody production and help the body fight against infections

    • Ice lollies/Ice pops: they can soothe a sore, dry, swollen or prickly throat and also help to keep you hydrated. Make sure they are made from 100% fruit juice and not sugar water.- Ginger: fresh or powdered and added to food or enjoyed as a tea. This home remedy can soothe stomach ache and nausea and can help fight inflammation as studies suggest. Check out Jordan Lohan’s Butternut Stew, with Ginger

    Claudia Ehrlicher is a certified dietitian with a real passion for food, teaching and motivating people to lead a healthy life. She regularly writes on Healthspan’s Nutrition Expert and London Dietitian.

  • GUS KENWORTHY Puts The “Gay In To Grey”

    GUS KENWORTHY Puts The “Gay In To Grey”

    Newly out sport’s star Gus Kenworthy has dyed his hair grey…

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  • HOTEL REVIEW | Hilton London Syon Park

    I’m starting a new trend, rather than having one big summer holiday in the year I’m going to have lots of little holidays!

    Preferably in places that I can get to within an hour or two. Maybe even in my own city? Because let’s be honest the getting there bit is rubbish. Lots of little breaks make you more evenly relaxed throughout the year.

    The key to this new concept is to pick somewhere that feels like you’re really far away from your life but you’re actually just a short drive away. I will be putting this theory to the test in 2016 but my first taster stop on the tour was Hilton London Syon Park for a spa weekend with my bestie.

    Hilton London Syon Park is in Brentford around 2 miles from Twickenham and easily reachable by car or public transport. Set in lovely grounds with Syon Park estate as a backdrop and modelled on the old stable block which originally sat there 200 years ago.
    When we arrived the staff on reception were extremely friendly and efficient. Sometimes they are not and you have to wait around but our request for early check-in caused no added stress or issue and we were whisked right through.

    When we got to our room the first thing we did was get in our fluffy white robes, lie on our beds and order room service because why not! We stayed in a twin with view and it really was gorgeous. Stylish, modern décor in grey and lavender hues with a stunning view of the grounds from our balcony. The best touch in the room was a TV in the bathroom above the bath; the lazy women’s dream come true.

    We were booked in for treatments at the Kallima Spa in the basement of the hotel so padded down there in our slippers. This hotel has some random quirks which add to it’s charm, for example the glass walkways talk to you or spit out film quotes and there is a fairly out of place statue of the blues brothers on the outside of the building.

    The Kallima spa is a tranquil space in the basement of the hotel. You can book individual treatments or just use the pool, steam room, sauna and Jacuzzi. We did all of it! The spa is open to the public as a day spa so my top tip if you are staying the weekend is to have treatments on the Saturday and use the spa on the Sunday. The Saturday was really busy but on Sunday most people had left and children must vacate the pool by lunch time. I loved the pool and really did feel far away. I pretended to be back in Morocco for quite a while whilst floating around.

    We plumped for the Tranquillity face and body treatment. I’ve never had a body wrap so thought it might be a new fun experience. I loved this treatment. It combines a lot of elements so you get so much from it. The facial and massage made me feel fab and she got rid of some really gruesome knots in my back. I found the body wrap a little strange, it is quite something staring down at your naked body wrapped in cling film! However I have to say that my skin was the softest it’s ever been and smelt wonderful and fresh after. I highly recommend it.

    The Marco Pierre White restaurant at this Hilton is definitely its trump card. Make sure you pre book when you check in because it’s super popular in the evenings. Now I don’t make this statement lightly as I have eaten in some fine restaurants but the meal we had here was one of the best I’ve ever eaten. If you are a vegetarian or vegan you won’t find much for you as it’s a steak house and doesn’t really accommodate for the non-meat eaters. We chose the 10oz Sirloin steak and it melted in the mouth. It comes served with triple cooked chips, and was cooked to absolute perfection. The roast rump of lamb was equally great so much so I think about it roughly twice a week! Please please make sure you order the creamed spinach whatever you do because the only explanation for how amazing it tastes is that they have fairies casting spells in that kitchen, it’s heaven in your mouth!

    After that meal I slept like a baby (I’m sure the wine had nothing to do with it)
    I absolutely love hotel breakfasts so I was really looking forward to what was going to be on offer. It was a bit disappointing that there is a only a buffet as we had hoped to order something a bit more bespoke – Eggs benedict or an omelette freshly made. Having said that the buffet was very well put together and all tastes are catered for with plenty of continental breakfast choices and a hot plate for the full English.

    This hotel really meets a high standard for a very reasonable price point. It does feel luxurious and the pleasant and friendly staff add to its relaxed nature. We both left feeling rejuvenated, relaxed, well fed and like we had been away for way more than one night. I’m already planning a second trip there in the New Year. Maybe see you there for your first mini holiday of the year!

    Stays at Hilton London Syon Park start from £149 per room per night, based on two people sharing a Queen Guest Room on a bed and breakfast basis including taxes, complimentary WiFi and full use of the spa facilities. Reservations – www.londonsyonpark.com /020 7870 7777.

    Reviwed by Chloe Misson | @CselinaM

  • How The Equality Act Is Costing Gay Couples Billions And Refusing Pension Rights

    News that the Court of Appeal has refused the application of a gay man for his husband to be treated in the same manner upon his death as a surviving heterosexual spouse has underlined that the principal of equality does not extend to every area of the law.

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  • COLUMN: Can Gay Relationships Ever Be Honest and Open?

    Is there such a thing as a healthy open relationship? I can only go on my own experiences, which were mixed.

    I met Adam in the early 2000s. He was six foot two, tattooed, broad and masculine and counterbalanced my more twinky look. He was hairy and I was smooth, lean and blond with boyish looks. We were smitten in no time at all and entered a really passionate relationship. I was less experienced than him and in my late twenties. He was in his mid thirties and had been around the block a fair bit, trying things that I never had but which turned me on at the very thought of them. He’d had scores of anonymous one night stands, attended an orgy or two and engaged in numerous threesomes. The very thought of this made me squirm with lust.

    The sex was brilliant and we were very compatible. One minor problem was that we were both quite insecure about our looks and both a little bit possessive. I resented his friendship with an ex; he mistrusted me with my gay friends. The usual things. We’d been together a couple of years and were on holiday when we ended up in a bar with a back room. The combination of drink and holiday atmosphere led to us entering into a mass fumbling session and both ending up with sticky hands, hangovers and regrets the next day.

    It sparked something off though and we started to fantasise together about threesomes and about group sex. The next holiday we went on we entered another gay bar and this time ended up taking a hot young Swedish bloke back to our hotel room. It was a pretty good experience. This started the bizarre pattern we followed for the next few years.

    Both of us were incredibly tempted by the array of horny blokes on offer on the gay scene. Both of us disapproved of infidelity. We came to a dangerous compromise. We would have a semi-open relationship. We could both sleep with other people of our choice but the other partner had to be present, either watching or joining in.

    We set ground rules: safer sex only, we both had the right to say we didn’t want to pursue someone and we both had to agree. This worked for a while. We met a variety of blokes, some sexier than others, some duller and weirder and some more wildly exciting than we could have hoped for. We trawled the internet, saunas, back rooms and bars and managed to pull a fair bit.
    Naturally, the problems soon set in. Firstly: I fancied big, manly blokes who were slightly older. He fancied younger blokes who were more effeminate. Who did we choose? The ideal was another couple like us but that wasn’t always so readily available.

    How safe was safer sex? What did we do if someone wanted to see us again? Didn’t that smack of a relationship that could come with unwanted baggage

    The biggest issue was jealousy. Although we were both turned on to distraction watching each other getting it on with another man; it was also slightly disturbing. Was he enjoying it more than he liked sex with me? Was I enjoying it more and could he tell? Was this “proper”? What would my mates, colleagues and family think if they knew?

    He broke the rules once in Amsterdam. I’d nipped to the loo and came back to find him giving a young man a hard pounding in a dark corner. I was turned on but also fuming as he hadn’t asked my permission and the man was also very good looking. He was equally put out when I got quite hung up on a particularly well-endowed trucker and didn’t hide it well enough.

    The other couples we met seemed much like us but sometimes I got the feeling that there was one partner who wanted this more than the other which felt funny. There was also the issue where it was obvious that the invited guest fancied one of us more than the other, which had a tendency to lead to sulking and insecurity.

    We split up eventually for various other reasons. I’m now with someone else and we don’t sleep with other people (unless there’s something he’s not telling me). I kind of miss it in a weird way. Do I regret what me and the ex used to do? Not at all. I’ve got a fantastic bank of memories. Would I do it again? Probably not…but never say never. I know that different arrangements suit different people but I also now know what’s right for me.

    by Chris

  • BRITISH MEN Are Clueless When It Comes To Calories and Overeating

    British men are clueless about the calories in their favourite foods, according to a new study.

    One in six blokes believe they are allowed to eat between 3000 and 5,000 calories a day – considerably more than the recommended 2,500.

    And many men think that consuming 53 grams of saturated fat daily is within the recommended amount, when this is also twice as much as they should be having .

    So great is the lack of awareness that the average man will unknowingly consume DOUBLE their daily intake of calories on an evening out with their mates.

    The poll of 2,000 men, commissioned by Fitness First, reveals blokes are baffled by the nutritional content of foods such as burgers, kebabs, crisps, curry and pizza.

    The research revealed that alarmingly, on an average night on the town, men consume at least three pints, a bag of sharing crisps and a portion of chips – which equates to an additional 2,544 calories.

    Indeed more than half of blokes admit they have no self-control when it comes to what they eat and drink on a lad’s night out.

     

    Kate Toland, Head of Marketing at Fitness First said: “We were really surprised by the findings of this report – the level of confusion about calorie content is more prevalent than we’d anticipated.

    “It’s good that men are taking a relaxed approach to food – we would never encourage obsessive calorie counting. However, it’s the difference between being fanatical and understanding that a curry and a few pints will take you way over the recommended daily allowance.”

     

    The study found the average male believes there are only 350 calories in a standard 225g bag of sharing crisps, when in fact there are almost 1200.

    Blokes also assumed there were only 444 calories in a portion of chips, when the reality is at least 795.

    And many men would think nothing of consuming a chicken korma curry with rice and naan, but would underestimate the number of calories by 400.

    Even a pizza can leave blokes puzzled – with many assuming a cheese and tomato is 706 calories rather than the actual 1296, and a pepperoni is thought to be 787 calories rather than a stonking 1712.

    Other foods which caused bewilderment include hotdogs, salted peanuts, tortillas and kebabs.

    In fact, the only snack food where men OVER-estimated the calorie content was a standard cheeseburger, with men guessing the calorie content to be around 540, when it’s closer to 300.

    Kate Toland from Fitness First continues:

    “Our researchers discovered that while the average male likes to look lean and stay fit, being low on time or energy can affect their approach to food.

    “Most men cite their busy lifestyles as the reason why they don’t pay much attention to what they eat, and this is likely to affect the amount of times they exercise as well.

    “Exercising regularly to counteract calorie intake is a great way to achieve all round health. Even 30 minutes of exercise three times a week will put men on track for a win in the fitness stakes.”

     

    FOOD TYPE ESTIMATED CALORIE CONTENT ACTUAL CALORIE CONTENT

     

    Cheeseburger 539 316

    Doner Kebab, 600g 741 1000

    Chips, 333g 445 795

    Sharing crisps, 225g 350 1179

    Sharing tortillas, 225g 362 1117

    Pint of beer / lager 343 180

    Pint of cider 342 210

    Korma curry, naan, rice 637 1069

    Margherita pizza, 8 slc 707 1296

    Pepperoni pizza, 8 slc 787 1712

    Hotdog, 455g 494 1078

    Salted peanuts, 100g 410 619

     

    by Emma Elsworthy

  • Kama Suits-ya: Four Iconic Sex Positions That Work For Almost Everybody (NSFW)

    THEGAYUK welcomes back Durex sex educator and wondrously witty wordsmith Alix Fox to discuss timeless sex moves that are almost guaranteed to make the earth move for you – whether you like to give or receive (or both) between the sheets. ** You should be over the age of 18 to access this article**

    Ess-eee-ex (I mean ‘S.E.X.’, not ‘Essex’) is a very personal thing.

    Everyone has different tastes: what one guy thinks is fan-freakin-tastic will leave another feeling like he’d rather have sea urchins fired at his bollo*ks from a bazooka. Heck, there are probably even some pain fiends out there who dream about having sea urchins fired at their bollo*ks from a bazooka.

    But while there is no one bedroom-based behaviour that absolutely everybody universally loves, there are certain erotic moves that have become famous for their ability to make so many of us – ‘pitchers’ and ‘catchers’ alike – think “Mamma mia, this is making me feel chuffing brilliant; more overflowing with Wonder than Stevie’s entire family tree; like a blister full of liquid bliss that’s just about to pop; and so awesomely orgasmic that my head is spinning like a top (even if I’m a bottom!).”

    Join me in celebrating four iconic sex positions that are all fairly simple and straightforward, yet infinitely sensual and satisfying…

    Layers gonna lay, lay, lay, lay, lay: The Missionary (ABOVE)

    Missionary has an unfair reputation for being boring; the beige of bonking. Yet in reality, this traditional, no-frills-just-basic-skills position can result in a gorgeously intimate, loving experience. It allows both partners to look into each other’s eyes; share smiles as they move together; kiss and hold each other during intercourse, and enjoy maximum skin-on-skin body contact.

    It may be plain, but Missionary can also be just plain lovely.

    In addition, it’s a really good position to opt for if one or both of you are new to penetrative sex, or you’re just beginning a physical relationship with each other.

    Why? Because being face to face like this facilitates clear communication. Each of you can easily see your partner’s expressions, so you can quickly tell if they look uncomfortable and perhaps need to slow things down (or, conversely, if they’re feeling more fabulous than a drag queen’s sequin frock collection and would defy Cher and turn back time if it meant they could savour this delicious sex session all over again!). Missionary is not a position made for jackhammer banging; it lends itself to gentle thrusting, and caring, trusting lovemaking.

    Want the closeness of Missionary but fancy spicing things up with some extra sensation? Try using lube not only in the anal and genital areas, but also up over your stomachs and chests, so that you slip-slide against each other smoothly as you move.

    Cooling lube like Durex Play Tingling can be refreshing on your bodies when hot summer nights get sticky and sweaty. Its zinginess is enhanced when you blow on it, so set up an electric fan to send a breeze coursing across you both to intensify the minty freshness. Try popping the bottle in the fridge beforehand for extra chilled thrills, too. Affectionate, connected, yet hot sex, with cool effects? Missionary accomplished.

    Nice bit of ruff: The Doggy

    Doing it doggy style: the only time two gay blokes will have a Lassie in the bedroom. 😉

    You’d be barking mad not to love this iconic position. For a start, it offers fantastic visuals for the top: their lover on all fours, beautiful botty in the air, presented for him to appreciate…mmmm-mm!

    Doggy also allows for easy, comfortable entry for both parties: the receiver can spread their legs as wide as they need to, and the giver is able to clearly see what they’re doing as they ease themselves inside. That might sound obvious, but if you’ve even had a lover accidentally (and painfully) bend your wang while trying to lower themselves onto it and missing, or you’ve been prodded and poked by your partner’s peen as they try and fail to hit the target, you’ll know how much of a relief a simple, easy access position can be for both of you, especially to get things going at the beginning of a session.

    While Missionary brings lovers face to face, Doggy turns them away from each other – yet this too has its bonuses (bone-uses?!). Neither of you have to worry that your sex face looks like Deirdre Barlow opening a shocking phone bill. And if you feel like grunting, moaning, or coming out with some dirty talk filthier than a chimney sweep’s flannel, it’s a lot easier to let go when you don’t feel like you’re being watched.

    Doin’ it Doggy means the bottom can touch themselves during intercourse – or reach through their legs and fondle their lover’s testicles if they’re feeling more generous!

    However, Doggy can still be sensual and sensitive. It’s quite a vulnerable pose that requires a degree of surrender from the receiver; should the giver want to offer some tenderness, they can run their hands over their lover’s back and shoulders, and lean forwards to kiss their neck and whisper sugar-sweetness into their ears.

    Want to teach your Doggy new tricks? When he’s in the position, command your man to crawl on his hands and knees to a different room in the house. It adds a little bit of provocative power play, and mixes things up by taking you to a new location. Good boy… It’s the dog’s boll*cks.

    Saddle up, yee-haaaaaaaa!:: The Cowboy & Reverse Cowboy

    If it’s your first time to the rodeo, let me explain: the Cowboy involves one guy laying down on his back, while his man straddles him, and sits either facing his head (Standard Cowboy) or turned towards his toes (Reverse Cowboy).

    The stand-out quality of this bucking bronco of a position is that it allows the receiver to control the pace and depth of thrusting – although the giver can grab his lover’s hips or buttocks to guide this too, if he wishes.

    If you want to put on a show for your partner that will have them salivating as though they’ve just had an entire packet of Haribo Tangfastics poured into their gob, perching atop their crotch in the forward-facing Cowboy is the best pose to adopt. Treat them to the sight of you stroking your nipples; trailing your fingers down your torso; gripping yourself; leaning back to grasp their ankles…

    As with any form of anal sex, for both comfort and safety, it’s essential to use plenty of lubricant during Cowboy nookie. Silicone-based types like Durex Play Perfect Glide last much longer than water-based varieties. Certainly avoid any lube containing spermicidal ingredients, such as nonoxynol-9. These can irritate the lining of the rectum, causing itching and peeling not unlike sunburn, and making you more susceptible to infections. Keep such chemicals well away from your raunch ranch, pardner.

     

    All time blow: The 69

    Satisfying, stress-relieving, bond-enhancing, glorious, I-want-more-ious sex doesn’t have to involve penetration. And when it comes to oral pleasure, the magic number isn’t 3 – it’s 69.

    This legendary topsy-turvy type of titillation, in which both lucky lovers get a mouthful of man, can be a tad tricksy – especially if you’re not the same height – but it’s worth persevering with because mirror, mirror, on the wall, which position is the fairest of them all? Why, 69 every time, my dear: it’s the very definition of “mutually beneficial”.

    Laying side by side can be more cosy than one gent clambering on top of the other, his crotch hovering over his partner’s face and dunking into his mouth like a Rich Tea Finger into a mug of char – although some find that kind of intensity to be precisely their cup of tea.

    If you find giving oral a challenge, try sipping orange juice beforehand; it can help suppress the gag reflex. Resist adding vodka and turning it into a Harvey Wallbanger, though, however apt the name: alcohol dries and tightens the throat, which does not a brilliant blow job make.

    Follow Alix on Twitter @AlixFox and on Facebook atfacebook.com/alix.fox

    Check out Durex at durex.co.uk

     

  • Four Iconic Sex Positions That Work For Almost Everybody (NSFW)

    Four Iconic Sex Positions That Work For Almost Everybody (NSFW)

    THEGAYUK welcomes back Durex sex educator and wondrously witty wordsmith Alix Fox to discuss timeless sex moves that are almost guaranteed to make the earth move for you – whether you like to give or receive (or both) between the sheets. ** You should be over the age of 18 to access this article**

    How to make gay sex positions even better

    Ess-eee-ex (I mean ‘S.E.X.’, not ‘Essex’) is a very personal thing.

    Everyone has different tastes: what one guy thinks is fan-freakin-tastic will leave another feeling like he’d rather have sea urchins fired at his bollo*ks from a bazooka. Heck, there are probably even some pain fiends out there who dream about having sea urchins fired at their bollo*ks from a bazooka.

    But while there is no one bedroom-based behaviour that absolutely everybody universally loves, there are certain erotic moves that have become famous for their ability to make so many of us – ‘pitchers’ and ‘catchers’ alike – think “Mamma mia, this is making me feel chuffing brilliant; more overflowing with Wonder than Stevie’s entire family tree; like a blister full of liquid bliss that’s just about to pop; and so awesomely orgasmic that my head is spinning like a top (even if I’m a bottom!).”

    Join me in celebrating four iconic sex positions that are all fairly simple and straightforward, yet infinitely sensual and satisfying…

    Pages: 1 2 3 4 5

  • LGBT Yoga teacher Josetta Malcolm: “It is not about isolation, but putting yourself back into the world”

    Growing up in Brighton, where the lesbian, gay, bi, and transgender (LGBT) communities are big, Josetta Malcolm thought, that starting an LGBT Yoga class was a natural thing to do.

    She wanted to create a place, where lesbian gay bisexual and transgender people would be at ease with their bodies and soul, and find calmness. Just using changing rooms can be a barrier to joining a mainstream class for trans people, (there are cases of people being asked to leave changing rooms/gendered toilets and questioned about their gender), so she is teaching in a trans sexual health clinic and gender neutral settings where this is not an issue.

    “Day-to-day negative experiences or micro-aggressions can weigh heavy on people from the LGBT community,“ she said, adding that Yoga is a great way to relax and calm down.

    PACE, a UK-based LGBT mental health charity, where Josetta worked as a Senior Manager, recently published a report that the suicide rates within young gay or transsexual people are considerably higher than within straight/non trans people of the same age – so she wants to offer support.

    Coming from a social and mental health background she strives to reduce isolation and increase physical and mental wellbeing in these communities, to “put them back into the world“.

    Everyone – of any age, body shape or background – comes to visit her LGBT and trans Yoga classes.

    “I have a problem with the stereotypes that only people from African or Asian communities are being rejected by their families when coming out – many of my white gay friends had very similar experiences,“ said Josetta Malcolm.

    After years of practice and teaching in Brighton, Berlin, and now London she has managed to make a living out of her passion even though she generally avoids teaching in mainstream fitness studios.

    “Yoga is not only for toned and skinny bodies in fancy fitness studios“

    She teaches NHS classes on mental health wards, at LGBT festivals, Black and Asian settings, in community centres and is working with a Women’s Health Project, where she will teach Yoga in female prisons and with former prisoners. Such classes are often free to the students or offered at reduced rates, thanks to a few well-paying private clients or NHS funding.

    “Yoga should be affordable for everyone and it shouldn’t be a luxury, because if so, people have forgotten or don’t realise what Yoga is about,“ she said.

    Its roots are in Asia and Africa, but in the Western World, Josetta found, it became very mainstream, mainly for white, toned and skinny bodies.

    “I love working with any kind of body shape and very often you’d be surprised about the flexibility of a 70-year old or stronger-built person,“ she said.

    For now she is very happy and wants to continue the path she’s on. Being a freelance teacher is not always easy, but she wants to make Yoga truly accessible for everyone, especially people who would usually feel in “normal“ lessons alien or out of place.

    by Amelie Heuls

    I am a Franco-Austrian, aspiring journalist, who is about to finish an International Master program in London. I am very interested in politics and human rights and am naturally very curious about life and the world I live in. I enjoy getting to know new people, who have a story to tell, an interesting point to raise or who make me think differently and push my thoughts

  • LEGAL CLINIC: Can I Get Fired For What I Say On Facebook/Twitter/Reddit?

    LEGAL CLINIC: Can I Get Fired For What I Say On Facebook/Twitter/Reddit?

    LEGAL CLINIC: Don’t Get Sacked Over Social Media

    Simon / Pixabay

    If you are on social media, then you may be aware of the controversy surrounding Facebook’s new ‘authenticity’ policy, which requires users to use their legal identity rather than a pseudonym.

    This policy has been met with resistance from LGBT groups who are concerned they may be ‘outed’ to any member of the public. Further, it means employers, clients and customers can see what you did this weekend.

    Zee Hussain, Employment Partner at Colemans-ctts (a trading style of Simpson Millar), provides an overview of your rights and provides guidance to ensure your professional and private lives remain separate.

    Be aware of how to manage your settings.

    On most social media platforms, you can choose what information can be displayed to the public, which extends to photographs, status updates and personal information. Facebook will allow you to put friends into groups with differing levels of privacy. Check the privacy policies concerned and adjust accordingly.

    Know your own rights.

    Whilst it is not unlawful for employers to search your social media profile, it is unlawful for them to discriminate against you due to a protected characteristic, such as your sexuality, gender, race, religion or disability. Therefore, if it is clear from your profile that you have a same-sex partner and the employer uses this as a reason to reject your job application, then this may mean you can make a claim under the Equality Act 2010.

    Employers that conduct searches can use external agencies to ensure they do not fall foul of the law. You are entitled to request a copy of any information that may be held on you under the Data Protection Act 1996.

    Make sure you know your employers social media policy.

    Different employers have a different approach to social media. Some will allow you to access your social media during worktime, some won’t. There may well be guidelines you are expected to follow to ensure your employers, and your own reputation, remain in tact.

    Don’t name and shame your clients.

    In the case of Preece –v- JS Wetherspoons, Ms Preece was a manager of a pub and had to bar an elderly and abusive couple one evening. She then went onto name and shame the couple and their antics to her Facebook friends, which unfortunately included the couple’s daughter. The tribunal found that the employer was justified in dismissing Ms Preece despite her many years of service.

    Watch your (virtual) mouth.

    Even years later, ranting on about how unreasonable your boss has been, how you are sick of your job, or even that you are hungover at work can come back to haunt you. In British Waterways Board v Smith, Mr Smith had posted numerous status updates which made derogatory comments about his work and indicated he had been enjoying a cheeky beer whilst on standby. Whilst there were no immediate consequences, Mr Smith was dismissed following an investigation some two years later.

    Unwanted conduct = harassment.

    Adding colleagues to your social media network is becoming the norm, and the office is increasingly a place where romantic partners meet. However, flirty text messages and risqué snapchat messages are not always welcome. Likewise, those off-colour jokes don’t sit well with everyone.

    Harassment is where unwanted conduct, whether of a sexual nature or related to a protected characteristic, creates a working environment that that is offensive, hostile, humiliating or intimidating to work in. Therefore, your employer can take disciplinary action against you (or a colleague) in this situation. If you are receiving messages from a colleague, then do turn to your employer for help if you are made to feel uncomfortable.

    Don’t be this girl.

    A few years ago a facebook post from a girl known as Lindsay went viral for all the wrong reasons. Lindsay had posted a status which said,

    “My boss is a total pervvy *****, always making me do **** stuff to **** me off!”

    Her boss got the final word by replying directly to the status:

    “Firstly, don’t flatter yourself. Secondly, you’ve worked here 5 months and didn’t you work out that I’m gay? Thirdly, that ‘**** stuff’ is called your ‘job’, you know, what I pay you to do. But the fact that you seem to be able to **** up the simplest of tasks might contribute to how you feel about it.

    “And lastly, you also seem to have forgotten that you have 2 weeks left on your 6 month trial period. Don’t bother coming in tomorrow.

    “I’ll pop your P45 in the post and you can come in whenever you like to pick up any stuff you’ve left here. And yes, I’m serious.”

    If there is one thing that will have hurt Lindsay more than receiving her P45, is the fact that the whole world seemed to enjoy her boss getting his own back.

    Social Media is a public forum, and in the click of a button, a comment or picture can be shared with thousands of users. We would recommend acting accordingly.

    It remains to be said that using social media as a means of communicating is clearly now a way of life. Posting messages may now be almost second nature, however, by remaining vigilant and attentive when using social media well certainly help avoid any difficult situations especially when it comes to work.

    Check out our free online legal clinic – where you can also ask questions from our expert legal team.

    by Zee Hussain