Category: Column

  • COLUMN | F**K The Guys

    Most people in a position of power seem to be putting out a certain message at the moment and that message is “F**k the gays” and I for one, am sick of it.

    Unless you’ve been living in a sort of media blackout, you won’t be at all surprised that most of us aren’t over keen on Suzanne Moore.

    In her most recent Guardian article, she implied that pretty much every gay guy was into rushed toilet cubicle sex and that we’re all terribly misogynistic. I find this a repugnant generalisation of gay men, and since when did liking cock more make you Anti-Woman? Piss off Suzanne. Also judging by some recent tweets, SHE KNOWS that she will piss all of us, which Is obviously her aim, and with controversy comes publicity, so good on you Suzanne, you’re getting your opinion out, no matter how vile and unnecessary it is. I’m going to quote a tweet of hers:

    “I’m quite old fashioned when it comes to queers” Nice one Suze.

    Obliviously, earlier this week, there was the big “debate” in which a group of decent people and their adulterous bigoted colleagues would get together, to decide whether gay people would be allowed the most coveted privilege that is of course marriage. I found this whole “debate” to be unnecessary, rushed and most of all patronising. There is no need for a debate, not when the subject being debated is essentially a human right.

    Apparently, my pals the “religious” people are up in arms about the whole thing!

    “We couldn’t possibly marry these beasts in our houses of worship and molestation!” They cry from their steeples… That’s how I imagine it anyway.

    Religion has nothing at all to do with marriage. Religious protection is the big issue, in which “churchies” are absolutely horrified at the thought of marrying us lot! Not that most of us even want to get married in a Church anyway, or a Mosque that’s for sure. Many are refusing to hold ceremonies there, and quite rightly in my opinion, at the end of the day, those churches are only big enough for one sexual deviant (The Priest)

    I couldn’t give a glancing f**k whether or not the Church is bothered by Equal Marriage, because marriage is ultimately about love, and not Religion.

    Another angle that these homophobes are using is that of teachers.

    (Before I enter my tirade, I would like to say I have all the respect in the world for teachers, they do a fantastic job, most of them anyway)

    A teacher is supposed to teach. They teach all different subjects, English, Religion, Science, Maths, Languages etc. Teachers are supposed to inspire tomorrow’s generation, nurture their minds and along with the child’s parents, mould them into the adult they will eventually become. So if that teacher is against equality and won’t even mention it in their classroom, then in my eyes, they shouldn’t be a teacher at all. The one example that keeps being thrown up is :

    “What if a Muslim teacher is refusing to teach children about equality, will they be suspended?”

    The answer, unfortunately is no. Which I see as rather ironic, seeing as Muslims are also facing a degree of inequality at the moment, so surely they should sympathise.

    I don’t know where the next few days are heading in terms of gay rights, but what I do know, is if they don’t go our way, I’m leaving this country for somewhere warmer and more accepting.

  • COLUMN | I Don’t I Don’t I Don’t

    Before I start, I’d like to say that I’m totally in support of gay marriage. I’m all for equal rights, freedom of choice and smacking bigotry in the face. Just don’t ask me to get hitched to prove a point though. I really hate weddings.

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  • COLUMN | Who Needs Hiking Boots To Enjoy To Enjoy The Great Indoors?

    I’ve enjoyed looking at the snow from my bedroom window. Looking is fine, just don’t expect me to venture outdoors. You know how people describe themselves as outdoorsy? Well, I’m more indoorsy.

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  • COLUMN | Homophobia In Hollywood?

    It’s the age old question.

    So the at the Globes last week, Jodie Foster “came out”… Can’t say I, or indeed anybody was surprised. In fact, I’d have been more surprised if she had arrived with a man.

    Don’t get me wrong, it WAS very brave. I wouldn’t come out with Tommy Lee Jones in the front, giving me the critical burning gaze that he gave everybody that night. Now… don’t turn on me here, but I found her coming out really uncomfortable. She won the Cecil B De Mille award and she certainly deserved it more than anybody else that night, but was there any need for her to do it? Saying it in perhaps a magazine interview or on Ellen or something would have been great! The perfect platform to confirm everybody’s suspicions!

    Yet at the same time it was undeniably genius, she didn’t quite SAY it, but she couldn’t have implied it any heavier if she had walked on stage with a strap-on wildly flailing around beneath her stunning gown. She did have this incredibly blunt yet delicate way of putting it across, which I admire her for no end I just feel it could have been better suited elsewhere. Maybe it’s just me, perhaps Foster used to spotlight to get an important message across, I just never really got it.

    Recently Rupert Everett advised gay actors to stay in the closet. Personally I’m not a fan of Rupert Everett; I think he tries too hard. Everett, instead of encouraging young Hollywood to stay in hiding, should have encouraged them to be open about their sexuality, instead of putting them off. Everett said this because “Gay men aren’t being cast in straight roles”. Yes they are Rupert; you’re not because you’ve been creating negative press like this for a while. Other actors are getting the roles you want, not because they are straight, but because they are better actors than you. Sorry, you probably prefer to be called a “Thespian” or something equally as pretentious.

    On the other hand, Hollywood is homophobic. In the sense that if you have made a career from portraying drag queens in movies or flaming homosexuals you’re not going to be the first choice for the next Die Hard movie. It makes sense. There are plenty of roles in Hollywood movies for gay men, not necessarily the macho roles, but there ARE opportunities out there. Hollywood is brimming with gay actors playing a varied mix of characters, for example Neil Patrick Harris, Ian McKellen, Denis O’Hare, Victor Garber and Zachery Quinto, all of which are well known, in the public eye, OUT and all have played undeniably straight roles in popular films and shows.

    So is Hollywood homophobic?

    Only to the moaning and bitter. I’m looking at you Rupert.

     

  • COLUMN | Hush Now

    This month’s edition is all about ‘Challenging Times’. I’ve been through a few challenging times myself and I must admit that I find the human race a bit challenging at times also. I do, however, feel that rather than being challenged by others and the times we live in, maybe we should be doing the challenging. We gays are after all, arbiters of good taste and decorum. We’ve a duty to pass it on to others.

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  • COLUMN | Hush Now

    This month’s edition is all about ‘Challenging Times’. I’ve been through a few challenging times myself and I must admit that I find the human race a bit challenging at times also.

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  • COLUMN | The Case Of The Ex

    What is it about gay men and their exes? Heterosexuals seem to have it so much better sorted out: divorce him/avoid him/insult him. We, on the other hand, like to remain friends.

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  • COLUMN | Money Worries

    So, there I was, plodding along in a job i didn’t mind, plotting and planning my escape route for when I’m ready when – you guessed it – the rug goes out from under, REDUNDANCY.

    That dreaded word for most people, but especially when you’re the wrong side of 40. I’m far too cute to starve!

    Knowing I had some time before the end was nigh, I started to put my plots and plans into action. My idea was to use the redundancy to live on for a few months and establish my own arty/crafty business, with some writing, selling photographs and eBooks thrown in – a real 21st century portfolio career. I had a website in place, I opened several online shops with major online retailers, I created eBooks and added them via Amazon, I found sites willing to sell my images in all types of formats and sizes, I signed up to sell my Instagram images, I wrote for free on online sites – truth be told, I spread myself so thin I couldn’t see what it was I wanted to do and make sure I did it.

    The straw that broke the camel’s back was opening my own stall/shop within an existing retailer – totally the wrong thing to do, too much of a financial gamble and no research beforehand. Wrong location, wrong audience, wrong choice!

    Did I care? Not a bit – I was off and running, without a clear goal in sight and no map to guide me…

    Who needs a solid job with a dependable pension? Does such a thing exist anymore? Who wants to be a wage slave, living for the end of each month and being a weekend millionaire?

    An honest answer? Me! I’ve spent nearly 4 months self-employed and made a grand total of bugger all. My accountant is going to pee himself when he sees my end of year figures. Turns out that writing for free is a hobby, having a shop that costs you 3 times as much to run as it takes is not good business practice and if anyone tells you that you can make a fortune online, pushing your goodies via Twitter and Facebook – you have my permission to stick their smart phone where the sun don’t shine.

    I’ve come to a startling revelation over the past few months – whilst I enjoy what I do in terms of being creative (writing, making stuff, drawing things and taking snaps) I enjoy paying my bills more. There is no short cut, it’s a hard slog – but it’ll be worth it eventually. My redundancy is nearly gone, so its back to full time employment I fear, but I won’t give up the dream – I just prefer it with heating, lighting and food on the table…

    Visit Chris’ shop at

    www.jonesyinc.co.uk or www.etsy.com/shop/jonesyinc

  • COLUMN | Aaaaamerican Exports

    Columnist Lewis Fellow takes a quick look at his favourite American Television programmes, past and present.

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  • COLUMN | Merry Christmas From The Church

    Well Christmas is over for another year, and what did we learn from it.

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