Grow Your Own


What immediately came to mind?

Grow your own boyfriend? Career? New car?

How about some rock hard pecs? A bespoke three piece suit maybe?

What you wanted to cultivate first is your most desirable goal. Perhaps that is obvious, and you’ve wanted it for a while. But why haven’t you got it yet? If you had it, you wouldn’t need to grow it; it wouldn’t come to your mind through such a frivolous activity.

Maybe it’s hard to get what we want, or get away from what we have. It’s a challenge to reach our goals – and goals are what we’re all about this time of year!

So to help a seedling grow, what do we do? Sunlight, water, fertiliser – all the things it needs. So to reach our goal of growing a boyfriend (apart from splicing together parts of dead celebrities, brought to life by lightning) we need to know what that goal actually is. We need to know what reality looks like, establish our options and hone our willingness to get there.


What is the goal really? If it is to get a new car or career, be specific. Do you just want any job or just any job apart from the one you have right now. Think also about timing – when do you want to be squeezing those hard pecs into a lycra onesie?


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Where are you now? How are you currently dating, working out, dressing? If you know where you are it is easier to see where you need to go and even start mapping how you get there. This isn’t the time to undermine your current reality or talk yourself out of a goal by ‘being realistic.’ It is about describing what this area of your life looks like to give you a better idea of what needs to be done.



How are you going to achieve it? What will it take to be driving that shiny new car around? If you have tried and tried some more, maybe it is a case of trying something different, or even trying again as the third time may well do the trick. Are there any obstacles you could overcome (this does not include getting him to dump his boyfriend/girlfriend/feeding him so he lowers his standards).


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Will a Way forward

As the seed of your goal grows you need to keep feeding it. You have to want it and will it forward. Just because you update your CV or secure an interview, doesn’t mean you will get that new career – you need to keep working at it. Even if Gucci has a sale, and you’ve saved up – it may still not mean that, that suit will be yours – you have to check what materials, what will stay in fashion and keep that weight off so it fits forever!


At the risk of squeezing every last drop out of this analogy it is important to focus on growing your goals but also not to forget how full your garden is. What is happening in your life that you are happy with and that could help and encourage you to meet more goals? Self motivation can be as strong, if not stronger that a crowd of friends and family cheering you on. Self belief will indeed help you even if those people do not share your goal. So, drop me a message when you’re parking your new car at your boyfriend’s house for the weekend, your pert pecs frames in a sleek waistcoat as work emails you saying how amazing you are!

About the author: Peter Richards
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