Category: Review

CAR REVIEW | Toyota Yaris GR, the hybrid hustler

★★★★☆ | Toyota Yaris GR

What Have We Got?

Here we have Toyota’s Yaris GR Sport fitted with hybrid technology. It’s also fitted with tuned suspension for a more sporty feel. It’s divided opinion. THEGAYUK had a go and here is what we thought of it.

Driving

I’ve not been kind in the past when describing Toyota’s CVT transmission systems but that is going to change. I rather liked this, unless you floor the throttle, then it shows up all the traits of the CVTs woes of engine revving away.

It’s a strange mix really for a 1500cc petrol engine with 16 valves and twin cams making just 98bhp. The engine is quite lacking in sparkle and feels a little lazy. Here then is the bonus for your lazy engine, the extra oomph given by the electric motor. Even at high speed, press the throttle and the engines high revs do at least translate to make progress faster.

The ride has come in for some criticism for being too hard. Taken from the rapid GRNM model, I personally found it totally acceptable and ideal for when you want to use the chassis potential. It is a fun car to hustle around on the right roads.

Inside

Sadly, the Yaris of old is no longer to be seen in the new model. And that means no dashboard innovations. It’s all become a bit ‘normal’ though typical of Toyota, the layout is logical. However, I am puzzled as to why the infotainment screen flashes up changes to the heating system when you can clearly see the selected temperature in the digital display within the heater control panel.

The suede faced GR badged bucket seats are just fine by me. An absolute joy for the derrière to sit in. They offer ample support in all directions. And they don’t encroach into the rear legroom area either. I found there to be more than adequate space for my 6’ frame in the rear seat. Much better than some larger cars out there too.

The boot is ok for this size car. My biggest problem I have are the poorly painted areas around the boot shuts.

Living With It

It’s not as engaging to drive as the name would suggest. You do lose your buzz after a while though. Despite there being the option to use some engine braking assistance when selecting ‘B’ on the gear shift, it isn’t enough to hold it back and therefore you are having to dab the brakes more than you would with a conventional gearbox or selectable automatic. And a shame too because you just can’t quite exploit the fun handling.

The economy is good as a city slicker. It’s a little less so on the motorway though thankfully, unlike some of the CVT systems, the engine doesn’t need to sing for its supper.

The Verdict

Once you get over the asking price, the Yaris GR Sport makes for a fine city car. There are the typical road noises I’ve now become accustomed to in Toyota’s hybrid cars though thankfully, at speed, it gets quieter.

And this is what the Yaris does so well, it goes about its business quietly and efficiently.

Love

Seats

Ride/handling compromise

Town economy

Loathe

Price

Not engaging enough

High-speed economy

The Lowdown

Car – Toyota Yaris GR Sport

Price – £ 19,840 (as tested)

MPG – 55.98 – 60.14 mpg (WLTP combined)

Power – 98/74 BHP/kW

0-62mph – 11.8 seconds

Top Speed – 103 mph

Co2 – 89 (g/km)

20th July 2019
Joseph And the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Review: A camp classic and this version puts it over the top

★★★★☆ | Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

(C) Tristram Kenton

49 years after it originally debuted, Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is back and is as good as ever!

Now playing at the fabulous (and best venue in London) The Palladium, Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat boasts a cast that is first rate and leaves the audience wanting more. The show, based on the ‘Coat of many colours’ story of Joseph from the Bible’s Book of Genesis, begins with Joseph (Jac Yarrow) being given a colourful coat by his dad. He’s then sold into slavery by his jealous brothers and then climbs back to the top. The show is considered a camp classic and this version puts it over the top!

Sheridan Smith is very good as the narrator – she guides us through the show effortlessly, and cheekily – it looks like she is having as good a time as we are. Jason Donovan makes an all too very brief appearance as the Pharaoh (with an excellent Elvis Presley-like imitation), in his gold harness-style outfit dutifully displaying most of his upper torso and legs – Jason has still got it. Yarrow, making his West End debut, is absolute perfection as the main character Joseph. Currently training at the Arts Educational School, Yarrow is the strongest voice in the show, and his rendition of ‘Close Every Door’ right before the end of the first half literally brings down the house. It’s a stunning West End debut by someone so young and very talented (he is only 21). And Donovan, who played Joseph in a 1991 version (also at the Palladium, has come full circle and weathered it very very well.

The show does not rely on razzle-dazzle sets and special effects – it’s all about the actors and talent on stage – and they more than deliver. The sets are effortlessly perfect, and the cast of children, most of them playing adult characters (a few with fake beards) make the show charming and enduring. But the show, on the technical side on the night I saw it, had sound problems. The audience could not quite understand Donovans’ lyrics, while, in a show that is mostly sung and not spoken, makes a big impact on the storytelling for those of us seeing it for the first time. But’s it a minor quibble – Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (written by a very young Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice) is lively and fun and should continue to bring this to audiences to come, probably for the next 49 years.

Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat plays at The Palladium until September 2019, book tickets here

15th July 2019
CAR REVIEW | DS7 Crossback Ultra Prestige, Diamonds Aren’t For Everyone

★★★★ | DS7 Crossback Ultra Prestige

Diamonds Aren’t For Everyone.

What Have We Got?

Here we have the new DS 7 Crossback. The Avantgarde company from Citroen.

It’s a largish SUV vehicle aimed at the upper ends of the SUV market. It’s an ever-growing market where luxury and comfort speak for themselves. Can it take on the big premium brands?

What I’m trying to say is, does this diamond encrusted DS 7 have the range?

Driving

Overall it is a bit of a disappointment. The 225bhp 1.6-litre petrol engine mated to the 8-speed automatic doesn’t encourage vigorous driving. From the looks of the DS7, that at first seems a shame.

That feeling soon evaporates when you drive it in a more conservative way. This Ultra Prestige spec model wasn’t fitted with the new adaptive road assist system that analyses the road and adapts the ride accordingly. I’ve heard mixed reviews about that. On this model, then, we have standard springs and shocks and it all works well.

At night time when the powerful adaptive headlights highlight imperfections in the road, nothing seems to be transmitted back into the cabin. And if it was, the majority of the time it was a muted “thud”

Inside

Here is where the DS7 Crossback stands out. The quality game has been upped quite a lot. Soft touch plastics and rubber where it matters, washable hard plastic where it doesn’t. And then there is the DS’s signature interior layout with stylised switches in the centre console and around the cockpit.

And this signature is in diamonds. Everything is pretty much diamond shape. It’s a love it or hate it experience but for me, I rather like it, especially the front door armrests that illuminate at night with diamonds. It blends itself into the digital display on the fascia panel.

It doesn’t all work though. The speedometer bar and incredibly difficult to read at a glance. It is a bit form over function. Thankfully there are always clear digital display readouts.

Living with it

Sadly I feel the DS7 will be overlooked because it’s French and that is your problem. As the SUV market grows and grows, it will soon start to get more competitive and quality, which from some manufacturers, isn’t up to their hatchback offerings. Here in the DS7 Crossback, the game is high. There is a return to French and quirky style. It’s a welcome return.

DS has been striving for an air of opulence in their products and finally, they have got it. It connected well as a comfortable drivers car, making the driving experience a pleasurable one that was relaxing. It has space for five and the fixtures are above the norm.

Verdict

The late Joan Rivers said “I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor”, DS has bent over backwards to give us a quality product for not a lot of money. You’d be fooling yourself not to bend over and take a closer look.

Love

Quality feel

Price

Different

Loathe

Steering wheel pads set to high

Front wheel tramp from a standstill

Poor rear door architecture

The Lowdown

Car – DS7 Crossback Ultra Prestige

Price – £46,260 (as tested)

MPG – 40.4 – 36.2 mpg (WLTP combined)

Power – 225bhp @ 5,500 rpm

0-62mph – 8.3 seconds

Top Speed – 141 mph

Co2 – 125 (g/km)

11th July 2019
Bitter Wheat Review: Downward spiral that becomes shockingly dumb

★ | Bitter Wheat

(C) PR SUPPLIED

John Malkovich and David Mamet attempt to tell a story about a Hollywood mogul and his downfall but it falls completely flat in the new West End Show Bitter Wheat.

Malkovich, star of screen and stage (70 films in total including Empire of the Sun and Burn After Reading), and playwright David Mamet (Glengarry Glen Ross, Speed the Plow) are where the blames lie in a show that tries to deal with an issue that is very timely but in this stage production is poorly executed. Malkovich is super-rich movie mogul Barney Fein who thinks and makes decisions with his nether regions. All likeliness to Harvey Weinstein is purely coincidental (!!).

In this satire that is far from funny, Fein’s life is managed by his loyal assistant (Doon Mackichan).

He even relies on her to get a gift for his mother’s birthday (his mother owns the company) – strangely the same scarf she got her the year before. And then there is another assistant (Alexander Arnold) who has no other function then just to walk in from time to time (including at the end where he announces that there is a man with a gun in the lobby – the same man who kills Feins’ mother in the second half – not shown) – all very silly and unbelievable. But before we get to this we are witness to an attempt by Fein to get young British-Korean actress and Cambridge grad Yung Kim Li (Ioanna Kimbook), who’s flown in to meet him, into a sexual liaison (all she wants is to eat after a long flight).

Fein first asks her for a massage, and then finally asks her if she would watch him take a shower.

It’s all very creepy and weird. And the show, at only 110 minutes long, (it also has an interval,) continues on a downward spiral that becomes shockingly dumb and just as quick as Weinteins’ downfall. Malkovich is just not convincing enough and delivers his lines like he’s reading them, while Mamet, who wrote and directed, knows better than to stage a show this bad.

Avoid at all costs.

Bitter Wheat plays at the Garrick Theatre until 14th September, book tickets here

4th July 2019
CAR REVIEW | Volkswagen T-Cross

★★★★ | Volkswagen T-Cross

VW Cross the T’s

The much anticipated VW Polo has, quite quickly, spawned a little SUV model. All using the highly adaptable MQB platform that makes up the current VW range, I was intrigued to see how the risen Polo sized B segment SUV was like at the recent UK launch drive.

There were noticeable changes for this newcomer. Firstly was the lack of a diesel engine in the range. With diesel becoming a dirty word in Europe, chances are there won’t be one. Also, this is a bit of a pseudo 4×4. It has, as is common in this segment’s top sellers, all the looks without the ability. There’s no 4 wheel drive, and no loss really. It’s not that kind of car.

Driving

Driving impressions were good. I’ve moaned about the Golf-sized T-Roc tramping its front wheels from a standing start. I was expecting much the same with the Polo’s platform, risen by 10cm to behave and I came away disappointed. Disappointed because using either the 5-speed manual or DSG gearbox, it didn’t demonstrate anything like that of its larger brother.

What did become apparent however in the 115PS engine model was the lag in the DSG gearbox. Standing starts took almost 2 seconds for throttle inputs to respond to forward motion within the powertrain. This was not a problem in the manual with the 95PS engine. According to the data, there is 1.3 seconds 0-60 between both these 1-litre petrol engines. The DSG’s lag makes it feel a whole lot more and in favour of the smaller powered unit.

Interior

Inside, and it is all useable stuff with rear sliding seat that alters the size of the boot or rear legroom. There is an adjustable rear seat that moves a whole 14cm back or forward. This makes the already large boot for this segment even bigger. Yes, it does take away rear passenger space but only if you are carrying someone in the rear.

As a small SUV from VW, I was rather taken by the T-Cross. Its size makes it feel more agile and the ride better than you’d think it should be from a small, higher-riding short wheel based car. It rode well and could be driven with gusto. Compared to the competent T-Roc, I’m not sure I’d recommend it over the T-Cross. The littler car is the better car.

Verdict

Personally, I do have a clear winner. The 95PS manual SE was the better car and is my recommendation. It’s about £7,000 cheaper than the 115PS R-Line with the DSG and all the more spartan for it. So have fun and add some Volkswagen options. Making the T-Cross your own will endear it more than it already does. Volkswagen has done us proud.

Like

Ride

Engine refinement

Economy

Loathe

DSG gearbox lag

SE is spartan

Infotainment system fiddly

The Lowdown

Car – Volkswagen T-Cross

Price – SE £ 19,890 / R-Line £26,735 (as tested)

MPG – SE 48.6 / R-Line 45.6 mpg (combined)

Power – SE 95PS – R-Line 115PS

0-62mph – SE 11.5 / R-Line 10.2 seconds

Top Speed – SE 112 / R-Line 120 mph

Co2 – 112 (g/km) both models)

1st July 2019
THEATRE REVIEW | The Girl On The Train – National Tour

★★★ | The Girl On The Train -Sheffield

Based on the best selling book by Paula Hawkins, The Girl On The Train stars Samantha Womack (Eastenders) as Rachel Watson, a troubled woman who romanticises about a couple she sees from her commuter train window every day, as she imagines the life she could have had. When one of the couple goes missing, she finds herself drawn into the mystery; but the gaps in her memory and her inability to separate out reality from her fantasy leads to her becoming a suspect in the woman’s disappearance.

Samantha Womack is entertaining as Rachel and she is ably supported by a small but proficient cast. The set changes are fairly slick, the set is sufficiently detailed, and the lighting and sound design all compliment the mood of the piece.

But for a thriller to work, it’s the story that counts, and over the course of the first act, the plot developed nicely and pulled in the audience, with a narrative which blurred fact and fiction, and imagination and reality; but as the second act unfolded the story became increasingly convoluted with a few too many red herrings and clumsy plot twists for it to maintain its momentum.

Having not read the book or seen the film, I’m not sure whether fans of either will find enjoyment or disappointment in this play, but as a standalone piece of theatre, it is competently presented and entertaining enough, but not a show which I would imagine will go on to become a classic.

The Girl on the Train is at Sheffield Theatres until 29th June 2019 before continuing on its national tour.

25th June 2019
CAR REVIEW | Peugeot 508 Allure, Just don’t stroke it too much, you might get arrested

★★★☆☆ | Peugeot 508 Allure BlueHDi 130 Manual: The Bright Allure of Peugeot.

What Have We Got?

They say this is Peugeot‘s return to the saloon market and one that they might or might not make it in. This market is rapidly vanishing but suddenly there is a bit of a renaissance and a handful of manufacturers are fighting back the trend for the SUV with stunning looking family saloons. And you can’t argue that the saloon is far more elegant than an SUV.

So has Peugeot produced a car that could make you ditch the SUV? THEGAYUK finds out.

Driving

First and foremost I can rejoice in the behaviour of this 130BHP 1.5 turbo diesel. There were no signs of lag from pull away or on the move. There is a nice fluidity to the engine and its refinement. Clutch control was light and the manual gearshift slotted in with a nice click between the gears.

On the move, it climbed effortlessly through the speed range with only mild engine noise audible if the radio was off.

Handling, from the small steering wheel, felt energetic and connected. It gave a reassuring confidence. The electronic power steering weights were finely set and feedback communicated well.

Inside

In Allure trim, it is rather civilised and grown up. The seat cloth faces are a mix of business suit stripes and solid colours. It blends in well. What I can’t work out if the faux carbon fibre trims across the dashboard and the other trims. The pattern doesn’t follow the same flow from the passenger’s door and across the dashboard. It runs the wrong way on the driver’s door!

I also found some trim that wasn’t well attached. The overhead switch pod with interior lights was not properly attached on one side.

Living With It

To look at, you forget it has a rear door. A saloon this is not. A practical 5 door hatchback in a sleek coupe style it is and it works well. If anything, it makes the 508 an incredibly attractive car to look at from almost any angle. Few non-exotic cars encourage you to stroke it. As a poster, this car could make any wall a happy place to stare at.

There are a few niggles that I have. After a downpour, rear visibility was not great thanks in part to no rear wiper. I have in the past raved about the i-Cockpit. It is a visual treat. However, I was unable to find a rheostat to tone down the visual displays. They don’t dim when the lights come on. With the facia directly in the eye line, at night it does cause glare and eye fatigue.

The Verdict

This is a great return to form for Peugeot in this market. The car it replaces was nothing short of a miracle that it sold at all. For fear of its predecessor, potential buyers might be swayed away from the new 508. And that is a shame because the 508 isn’t a hash up of the last generation. It is a beautiful looking car and rewarding to drive.

There is great cohesion within the cabin and it feels a quality product. That said, there are a few areas that Peugeot need to address as mentioned but overall I was impressed. And you will too. Just don’t stroke it too much, you might get arrested!

Love

Looks

Price

Ride

Loathe

Carbon fibre trim

Dull rear door architecture

Some trim fit

The Lowdown

Car – Peugeot 508 Allure BlueHDi 130 Manual

Price – £26,914 (as tested)

MPG – WLTP low/high 59.6/52.5 mpg (combined)

Power – 130 BHP

0-62mph – 9.7 seconds

Top Speed – 129 mph

Co2 – 101 (g/km)

24th June 2019
Tucano Urbano MRK 2 Motorcycle Gloves

Tucano Urbano Gloves MRK 2

For the last few thousand miles, I’ve been using some Tucano Urbano MRK 2 summer gloves.

An odd choice maybe in April and May in the UK, but they’ve been great.

Tucano Urbano is an Italian manufacturer who’s range offers Italian design and style with practical solutions for urban scooter and motorcycle riders, so I’m told.

They’ve been around for 20 years and have a good reputation for making quality gear.

Construction

These gloves have a soft, synthetic suede palm with a flexible anti-abrasion rubber insert.

Aero 3D mesh around the palm and the back of the gloves gives maximum ventilation. These are very light and soft.

Silicone rubber strips on the fingers improve grip and goat’s leather inserts around the wrist and all over the knuckles add strength and durability whilst keeping the soft, light feel of these gloves.

There is soft certified armour on the knuckles and some rubber protection on the top of the fingers too.

Velcro adjustment on the cuff is also by goat’s leather strap with microinjection ends for easy opening. These are also touchscreen gloves which is very handy when using your satnav.

Fit and feel

At first, I thought these gloves would simply be too light to wear in anything but glorious sunshine but that’s not been the case. They are very light and heavily vented, but I really light how soft and light they are. Because of the feel, I’ve worn them in all weathers; warm sunny days, cold windy days and even pouring with rain days. I expect in deepest winter they would be too light, but I haven’t struggled at all. When they’ve got wet in the rain, they’ve always dried really quickly. Maybe because they are so light.

They fit well and being a short glove, don’t get in the way of cuffs.

My Spidi gloves are a size 9 – L so went for the same with these Tucano Urbano gloves. They’re spot on.

Protection

MRK 2 are short summer gloves and as such, are a little short on the full-on protection you might find on a full blown leather glove.

There is soft, certified armour on the knuckles and anti-abrasion pads on the palm and fingers plus goat’s skin along the tops of the fingers and thumb.

Tucano Urbano MRK 2 gloves are CE approved: meets the EN 13594:2015–CE safety standards for motorbike gloves.

Warmth

You wouldn’t expect these to be warm. They are a heavily vented, lightweight summer glove after all. I was surprised to find they have been great so far. I’m sure when the temperatures hit single digits, it will be time to pull out the winter gloves but I will use these as long as I can.

Waterproofing

Well, let’s be realistic, there is none. It’s a summer glove after all. Like I said before though, I’ve worn these in the pouring rain and decided to wear latex gloves under them. When they were soaking, they held their shape and performed just as well as when they are dry. They dried out quickly too.

Verdict

Tucano Urbano has been known primarily for scooter gear, but if you look at their current range, it’s huge. It covers everything from under layers to helmets to men’s motorcycle gear, women’s motorcycle gear, boots, gloves and lots more.

These gloves are so light and comfortable I’ve really enjoyed wearing them. There’s not much worse than wearing gloves that blunt your feel. These certainly do not. They are my new glove of choice until winter sets in.

£52.99

Sizes XS > XXL

24th June 2019
RESTAURANT REVIEW | Kalifornia Kitchen, London

★★★★ | Kalifornia Kitchen, London

Do you want food that will make you look and feel beautiful? Well, according to Kalifornia Kitchen, their food will do just that!

Located both in Fulham and on Percy Street right off Tottenham Court Road, vegan chef and influencer Loui Blake has opened Kalifornia Kitchen, a restaurant dedicated to all things vegan and it’s already known as a vegan lovers paradise. Concentrating on nutritious and sustainable food and drinks, utilising the power of plants and abstaining from any animal products or harmful plastics, a visit to Kalifornia Kitchen will be good for your inner organs if you’re not used to this type of food. And if you are strictly a vegan then more than likely you already know about this place as it’s gotten rave reviews.

Extra nice but a bit confused staff made our visit on a Thursday night memorable. With no idea what to order, I threw caution to the wind and choose a few obscure dishes. The Banana Skin Tacos were amazing. Yes – banana skin was a bit of a substitute for meat, and we ate them up. With rainbow slaw & house mayonnaise and a delicious bbq sauce, this £7 dish is one I would order again. The Pickled Cucumber – spicy hummus with pickles and side crudite, and pita bread was also a delicious and yummy starter (£8).

The mains were also very interesting. I was torn between the Chickpea & Date Tagine or the Mexican Beans, so I had the beans (!!). At a whopping £14, the beans were basically black beans served in two courgettes (called on the menu ‘boats’) with very very delicious avocado and mango salad – different, very good, refreshing, however, a bit expensive.

My friend gobbled up the Classic (not Klassic?) Kalilfornia Burger. Served on a pretzel bun, it looked like a real burger! However, the flavour, though not for me, was a bit raw, probably only because it was vegan, and it was served with gouda, caramelised onion, red cabbage, romaine lettuce and a special burger sauce. Served with ‘normal’ fries that were extremely tasty, the dish is worth the £13.50 price. Spicy Kale Chips, though not very spicy, were strange tasting with its cashew cheese sprinkled on top of each chip before it’s baked – different. Perhaps an acquired taste.

Drinks are definitely something to rave about there. Very healthy smoothies, juices (with names such as Healing, Balanced, Immunity) are super tasty and you feel healthier the more you drink, with ingredients including quinoa, pineapple, tumeric, ginger, mint, etc…

I have to point out that other dishes on the menu sounded very tempting – including the Rainbow Bowl (cherry tomato, cauliflower couscous with pomegranate, activated seeds, roasted butternut squash, organic coconut yoghurt, fresh avocado and falafel), Butter Curry, and the Fish & Chips that would be good for a second visit.

We didn’t have a chance to try their dessert as the Percy Street location closed at ten on the night we visited, but we were too stuffed anyway to try the Matcha Cheesecake, Pecan Pie and the Sticky Toffee Pudding.

Dinner for two at Kalifornia Kitchen won’t set you back more than £60 (if you order starters and mains) – I’m not sure where you’ll find a cheaper vegan meal this central. The restaurant itself is beautifully designed with California style colours (lots of pink with whitewashed walls) with picnic style tables for a very calm, soothing and relaxed atmosphere. It does feel a bit like you are in California. There is an upstairs area that has the feel of great aunts sitting room. For a truly adventurous (for meat eaters) meal, Kalifornia Kitchen is a very unique and lovely dining experience.

https://www.kaliforniakitchen.co.uk

19 Percy Street W1T 1DY
Fulham Market Hall, 472 Fulham Road, SW6 1BY
info@kaliforniakitchen.co.uk
+44 (0) 207 504 4444
Opening Times
Tues-Sun / 11:00-22:00 (19:00 Sun)

24th June 2019
Men In Black International Review: Not as good as the sum of its parts

★★☆☆☆ | MEN IN BLACK INTERNATIONAL

(C) Columbia Pictures

The 4th MIB movie coming 7 years after the last one and 22 years after we first met the super agents with no Will Smith, no Tommy Lee Jones but the welcome addition of sex god Chris Hemsworth.

Nutshell – The secret well-dressed sunglass wearing organisation that exists to protect the earth from aliens and the scum of the universe are back in a loud CGI action-heavy film that in theory sits alongside the original trilogy rather than being a sequel. Almost all new characters and this time with a lot of globetrotting to Europe and Morocco as they try to stop another alien villain and protect yet another artefact hidden on earth but the bigger problem is that there is a mole in the Men In Black hierarchy – our money is on the Pug dog.

Running Time – 114 Minutes – Cert 12A.

Tagline – The World’s Not Going To Save Itself

The Gay UK Factor – Chris Hemsworth is one of the world’s best-looking men. Of course, Hemsworth in a tight designer suit showing every inch of his massive firm buttocks is something right from the top end of the wank fantasies – the ones we reserve in the back of our brain for the intense vinegar strokes. Not enough for ya? Well, you get a two-minute extended topless scene at the start of the film… We have seen this movie six times so far and counting for that alone.

Cast – Chris Hemsworth, Tessa Thompson, Liam Neeson, Rafe Small, Kayvan Novak and the only major returning cast member Emma Thompson… no Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones and boy do we miss their chemistry here as the two leads mix about as well as Madonna’s music does with the current charts.

Key Player – For the first time ever we cannot spot one. The directors, writers, cast etc are all retreading a tried and tested formula for ever diminishing results. The new CG chess piece character gets all the best lines though and our marriage proposal to Hemsworth is not rescinded by this but he just cannot carry a comedy on his own as he is better as the straight man to a comedians foil – now Will and him that could have been one-liner heaven but Will wanted to be Aladdin‘s genie instead.

Budget – $110 Million – Thank goodness they kept this budget down as it is just not flying like the previous films in the trilogy. The first week it took the entire world box office to break even so now it can start making some profit which it will do but don’t expect any sequels as you file this under slightly disappointing.

Best Bit – 0.48 mins; We get a very thrilling fight with the invaders in a studio set London street which has great action and well-placed comedy beats and it works well. Shame this balance couldn’t be kept up elsewhere – an action comedy needs both to be effective and this is often lacking in either one or the other at most points and often both.

Worst Bit – 1.15 mins; Lots of little bits here don’t come off including a by the numbers hoverbike chase not as good as in MIB 3 but none more so obvious than the flying car in a secret organisation. Harry Potter and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang did this better. It underlines an attempt to make everything bigger than we have seen before but too much smaller returns. So much possibility ends in something not bad but just average and is that not condemnation enough for a blockbuster.

Little Secret – Believe it or not the MIB universe also includes the 21/22 Jump Street movies. The film was originally going to be a Jump Street / Men in Black crossover with Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill reprising their roles from that franchise when Smith and Jones refused to do another MIB. However, plans fell apart, so it became a spin-off with Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson. Chris Hemsworth announced shortly after the release of this film that he would take a break from acting (not because of this film we should add more to do with the end of the Avengers’ saga) to; a) stand for US President, b Join the Jonas Brothers, c) Start his much in demand gay porn career or d) be with his family… only one of these is correct.

Further Viewing – Men In Black – 1-3, Ghostbusters 1-3, Austin Powers 1-3, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1-3, Detective Pikachu, Pixels, Evolution, Space Jam and the king of sci-fi action comedies Galaxy Quest.

Any Good – Not as good as the sum of its parts. There are two major problems. Firstly the original MIB was a breath of fresh air with great ideas from its wonderful characters in both the fore and background through to the classic number one hit single but then unlike a lot of other franchises instead of taking the best bits and improving on them they have gone the opposite way with every new addition to the set.

Secondly whoever cast Hemsworth and Thomson as the leads here (They were together in the Thor films) has made a fatal error. We need a comedian of Will Smith’s character bouncing of a straight man like Tommy Lee Jones instead here we get two straight men/women delivering all the punch lines. You will enjoy the film but don’t expect a laugh a minute maybe one every 30 mins is closer and is that good enough for an action comedy?

TWO STARS

23rd June 2019
After 82 Review: A moving documentary film about the AIDS stories that need to be told

★★★★☆ | After 82

AFTER 82 is a new documentary about the AIDS crisis and the people who were affected by it most, is now available on VoD.

These men tell their stories of what they went through, what it felt like to receive a death sentence, and why they can’t really understand why they are still here after having lost so many friends and lovers in the 1980s and 1990s. We also hear from some of the women who were also in the front lines of the early days of the epidemic.

Narrated by Dominic West, Ben Lord and Steve Keeble’s compelling documentary looks back to the very early days of the pandemic when there were no medications available and a positive HIV test meant almost certain death.

The documentary features interviews with the actor Jonathan Blake (portrayed by Dominic West in the BAFTA-winning film Pride) who has lived with the virus for over 30 years. Dr Rupert Whitaker, who was still a teenager when he fell in love with Terrence Higgins, recounts their relationship, and Higgins’ subsequent death.

Lord Norman Fowler describes, with actual footage, of his visit to AIDS wards in San Francisco and sees for himself how the US was not dealing with the disease very well. He was part of Margaret Thatcher’s government and is the only man to have changed her mind about the then escalating crisis in the UK.

Thanks to his persistence and massive campaign surrounding HIV/AIDS during the 1980s HIV infections started to decline. Lisa Power OBE, who co-founded Stonewall, provides testimonies and insight to an era where hysteria from fear spread across the world through lack of knowledge and understanding. And Gary Brough, so eloquently and movingly tells his own personal story of having the disease in his 20’s and how now, in his 50’s, he has a mortgage, is in a civil partnership, and is thinking about retiring after having lived so long with the disease.

AFTER 82 is a moving documentary about stories that need to be told, and the ones told in this documentary are just a few of thousands of stories that have yet to be told.

After 82 is available now to stream on demand and buy as well as selected screenings.

23rd June 2019